Alright, here's the deal folks: I'm not particularly worked up about this or anything (just thought I'd make sure it was stated first). So however you decide to approach this, I'm just looking for some opinions, perhaps some experience... Who knows? Here's the situation:
I started working at Montana's a couple of months back. If any of you have been there, you should know that a huge majority of the servers are very attractive females Now that being said, there happens to be this one at work that I *really* quite like. She's actually not the quote-on-quote "hottest" of the bunch of them, but I just love her sense of adventure. She's BIG on travelling, which is a HUGE plus for me... And she's gone for 3 weeks to do some backpacking in Brazil/Argentina.
Since I started working there, sparks have been flying... Pretty obvious flirting, we've even gone out for a couple of coffees at the starbucks across the parking lot. I'm really into this girl.
BUT (and there's always a but)
There's the boyfriend. Who happens to also work with us.
Now, from what I've gathered from other people, he's not really a *serious* boyfriend, and APPARENTLY (granted, i *know* her age based off of facebook) he's two years younger than she is. Other coworkers have said that they're just muckin' around, "seeing eachother" but not really... Know what I mean?
So anyway, I guess I've laid out everything that needs to be known. I'm just curious what you guys think my course of action should be. As said, I'm really into this girl and I like her a lot (that being said, I don't feel like I'll die without her or something), but even ASSUMING that they break up on their own accord, what would be the repurcussions of dating her (possibly even seriously) with him working at the same place as us? And then theres the possibility that she leaves him for me (I'm very intuitive about this sort of thing, and i know shes got a thing for me... so EVEN if it's not the case, I dont need to hear the whole "shes not really into you" arguement... it doesnt help me, im working off the premise that she does like me), what kind of thing should i do then?
I generally make it a personal policy to avoid workplace dating. It usually gets messy... As shown by this scenario. That being said, I do like this girl a lot and i have a LOT in common with her and I like that shes wild enough to handle me. So... here are the main questions (as said, i'm looking for opinions... I'm going to make up my own mind in the end anyway, lol):
1) Do you think I should actively persue her, regardless of boyfriend?
2) Should I wait until the boyfriend is out of the picture, and go for something then?
3) Should I not worry about it at all? Since dating in the workplace is a pain in the butt anyway... lol
I'll be honest, going into this I'm kind of like a mixture between the three right now. Since she's in Argentina, I can't do anything right now (thus I'm thinking about it a bit). I'm figuring I'll actively persue it, see exactly how serious it is... But definitely not make a move until they break up (I'm not that kind of guy, and wouldn't respect the kind of girl who cheats). The whole strategy being that if I create enough attraction on my end, itll cause more tension on that end... So it'll cause a breakup and that leaves me relatively open for the opportunity.
And as said, part 3 is that I'm not really caring OVERLY much since I'm very wary of workplace dating.
So some opinions would be nice! I don't think there's much else that needs to be said (and I don't really have all that much additional information to provide anyway, lol).
i would hit that up even if she has a boyfriend, if the guy tries to get on your case just say that you didnt know she was in a serious relationship then.
Sounds like you either have the option of repressing your intentions or bringing them to the surface, I'd say just go for it. I think you'd rather have a bit of workplace drama than risk missing out on a good opportunity.
go for it. and dont worry about the boyfriend. and it would be better if you guys ended up together for working at that place will be significantly better.
and dont even worry about the future if you guys break up.
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This seems pretty simple to me: talk to her about it, and be honest. Tell her about how fun it is with her and that your feelings are growing, that you know she has a boyfriend, but wonder about the strength of that relationship and about the possibility of a relationship between the two of you. At the very least, she deserves to be told about your feelings so she can act accordingly.
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[The Crafters] | [Johnnies United]
My anecdotal evidence disagrees with yours! EXPLAIN THAT!
we've even gone out for a couple of coffees at the starbucks across the parking lot.
I love how that could be any Montana's in the city. LOL. The one at South Keys has a Starbucks a skip away and so does the one at Silver City Gloucester. I even think that the one in Kanata does too (not sure).
1) Do you think I should actively persue her, regardless of boyfriend?
Yes and No. Do the following:
-When she comes back from her trip, wait two weeks before really engaging in any relationship talk (unless she brings it up). Keep up the flirting, ask how the trip went and tell her how much you missed her. You don't have to say it in a direct/romantic way but just let her know you are happy she is back.
-After the two weeks ask her in a casual manner about her relationship with this "boyfriend". The best place to talk to her is probably the Starbucks:p. Her answer will dictate your next move. If she seems to be genuinely interested in pursuing a relationship with this guy you remain her flirty friend. If not, the light is green and you can start to make your move-slowly.
3) Should I not worry about it at all? Since dating in the workplace is a pain in the butt anyway... lol
If are unsuccessful in your attempt to begin a serious relationship, or she shrugs you off, remain friends at all costs and continue to communicate. If you do this, you will minimize any dating-in-the-workplace backlash.
Go luck and have fun.:wink:
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-TheInfamousBearAssasin
You have a high chance of screwage. Workplace romances are deep fail, especially since first you'll have the ex boyfriend hate you and then she'll most likely dislike you when you inevitably break up.
Honestly, i never understood why guys have such a hard time remaining friends with their ex's.
But you know my position on **** like this. Go for it and damn the consequences. Heh, i somehow slept my way through the majority of my grade 12 friend ring, so i guess im not the best person to ask.
But go for it.
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[19:59] greymon90210: Hey StormBlind how tall are you? "I'm six money *****, don't forget it"
"The Critics always said that we'd only have a black president when pigs flu"...
I've had this same situation happen to me twice at work in my life.
Once I was working at a country club and I was 18 and home from my freshman year of college. I had a huge thing for a girl that I worked with, we were both servers, and we always flirted back and forth, just harmless. Well, she had a bf who had cheated on her twice, treated her like garbage, and wasn't going anywhere in his life, but she was with him forever and loved him anyways. I tried to bring up the courage to tell her how I felt about her towards the end of the summer, even with encouragement from others, but I never could get it out. She probably knew anyways, I wasn't hiding it. I haven't talked or met with her again, outside of myspace once.
I'm 23 now, and met a girl at the job I work my career in. We started to be friends in training and I also developed a thing for her, and we flirted just as much as the first case. She ALSO has a boyfriend, for about five years, who is afraid of commitment and really anti-social. We've hung out all in a group with people from work multiple times. She's 4 years older then me and is getting to the age of wanting to settle down with him and he does not share the same sentiments and won't even move in with her. So after a couple months of flirting I got up the courage to tell her how I felt, partly because of my failure last time and partly because I just had to tell her. Basically she said she knew, just flirts with 'all' her guy friends, and wouldn't date me even if she didn't have a bf (yeah that was a stinger that I didn't appreciate). But it didn't change anything, we still flirt (even if we see each other less because we're in different departments), and we still hang out every week.
All I can say is, I always seem to fall for the girls that already have boyfriends and it has never worked out for me so far, but you will feel so much better when you talk to them about it, that you should, just like everyone else in this thread is saying. I still regret never telling the first girl how I felt about her and I'll never get the chance again.
Hope my first hand experience helped. Everyone has always said dating at work never works but I always end up ignoring that anyways lol.
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Some sage wisdom that was passed onto me:
"If she'll cheat with you, she'll cheat on you." Not really a problem unless you're really wanting something serious.
"If she was burning for you, then she wouldn't be with this other guy." That was from my cousin. He saved me so much trouble in life with that one sentence. It's okay to let her know you're interested, but don't expect much if she hasn't left her casual byfriend already.
1) Do you think I should actively persue her, regardless of boyfriend?
2) Should I wait until the boyfriend is out of the picture, and go for something then?
3) Should I not worry about it at all? Since dating in the workplace is a pain in the butt anyway... lol
1-2) Since the boyfriend is two years younger, I'd wait until she dumped him to persue her. Even after she dumps him, don't flaunt your relationship with at work. That's a quick way to get fired or attacked by the exboyfriend. Maybe the best thing to do is find another girl that he likes, hook him up with her, then everything's hunky-dory.
3) Many people have taken this approach to dating in the workplace (reference: "What Woman Want"). But the fact is that a lot of people meet at the workplace and do end up having happy marriages (I know of a couple of these cases in my family alone). I think it's fine for you to pursue her, but make sure you know she's interested. And it sounds like you're walking a thin line by flirting with her at work. I'd think you'd want to keep that to Starbucks chatter.
And as for working with a significant other... I worked in restaurants for 6 years. During my college years, I was a cook and I was dating a girl for about a year when she asked if the restaurant was hiring servers. I vehemently said, "No!" There's no way I'd want to work with someone I was seeing outside of work. That's WAY too much contact. Flirting and having short spurtz of talking is different than a full-fledged relationship. Being able to leave work and be with your sig-other is nice, but if you work with her, it may feel like you've never left. Of course, that's an exaggeration, but take it for what you will.
Alright, here's the deal folks: I'm not particularly worked up about this or anything (just thought I'd make sure it was stated first). So however you decide to approach this, I'm just looking for some opinions, perhaps some experience... Who knows? Here's the situation:
I started working at Montana's a couple of months back. If any of you have been there, you should know that a huge majority of the servers are very attractive females Now that being said, there happens to be this one at work that I *really* quite like. She's actually not the quote-on-quote "hottest" of the bunch of them, but I just love her sense of adventure. She's BIG on travelling, which is a HUGE plus for me... And she's gone for 3 weeks to do some backpacking in Brazil/Argentina.
Since I started working there, sparks have been flying... Pretty obvious flirting, we've even gone out for a couple of coffees at the starbucks across the parking lot. I'm really into this girl.
BUT (and there's always a but)
There's the boyfriend. Who happens to also work with us.
Now, from what I've gathered from other people, he's not really a *serious* boyfriend, and APPARENTLY (granted, i *know* her age based off of facebook) he's two years younger than she is. Other coworkers have said that they're just muckin' around, "seeing eachother" but not really... Know what I mean?
So anyway, I guess I've laid out everything that needs to be known. I'm just curious what you guys think my course of action should be. As said, I'm really into this girl and I like her a lot (that being said, I don't feel like I'll die without her or something), but even ASSUMING that they break up on their own accord, what would be the repurcussions of dating her (possibly even seriously) with him working at the same place as us? And then theres the possibility that she leaves him for me (I'm very intuitive about this sort of thing, and i know shes got a thing for me... so EVEN if it's not the case, I dont need to hear the whole "shes not really into you" arguement... it doesnt help me, im working off the premise that she does like me), what kind of thing should i do then?
I generally make it a personal policy to avoid workplace dating. It usually gets messy... As shown by this scenario. That being said, I do like this girl a lot and i have a LOT in common with her and I like that shes wild enough to handle me. So... here are the main questions (as said, i'm looking for opinions... I'm going to make up my own mind in the end anyway, lol):
1) Do you think I should actively persue her, regardless of boyfriend?
2) Should I wait until the boyfriend is out of the picture, and go for something then?
3) Should I not worry about it at all? Since dating in the workplace is a pain in the butt anyway... lol
I'll be honest, going into this I'm kind of like a mixture between the three right now. Since she's in Argentina, I can't do anything right now (thus I'm thinking about it a bit). I'm figuring I'll actively persue it, see exactly how serious it is... But definitely not make a move until they break up (I'm not that kind of guy, and wouldn't respect the kind of girl who cheats). The whole strategy being that if I create enough attraction on my end, itll cause more tension on that end... So it'll cause a breakup and that leaves me relatively open for the opportunity.
And as said, part 3 is that I'm not really caring OVERLY much since I'm very wary of workplace dating.
So some opinions would be nice! I don't think there's much else that needs to be said (and I don't really have all that much additional information to provide anyway, lol).
So, batter up?
Forget about it.
Resteraunts are, without a doubt, the worst place to screw coworkers.
People are just talking during the entire shift.
Unless you want the entire staff to know the details of your personal life, leave her alone. Even if you don't care abuot that, the boss or other coworkers might, and I would spare myself the aggravation.
If you want to get chicks, just pretend you're gay. That's what I do.
[/Kidding]
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Famliy Guy Emperor Says,
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Something, something, something COMPLETE!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHiUitciuJ8
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Go for it...I stole my girl. Well come to think of it I stole all of my ex-girls as well.
Y'know on second thought, don't. Karma is a *****...I think I'm going to go take a shower now.
Seriously though, you should just casually ask if her relationship is serious and gauge her response. I mean if it isn't then by all means. And I know that work complicates things, but unless your goal is to make a career (or you desperately need to keep the job no matter what), what have you got to lose?
What some of yall need to realize is that he isn't just trying to "screw" her. He has a serious interest in this women.
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What some of yall need to realize is that he isn't just trying to "screw" her. He has a serious interest in this women.
Quoted for truth. It's not just wanting to get in her pants... If I was looking for a quick lay I wouldn't go through all this trouble But she and I have some really chemistry and a lot of common interests. And while some girls are certainly more flirty than others (I've met my fair share, believe me, lol), I have a very strong feeling about this one. I'm not the only one going out of my way to try and strike up a conversation, know what I mean?
Someone said "If she was burning for you, she wouldn't be with the other guy" earlier... I don't feel that's really the case yet, since I've only BEEN there for about 2 months now or so, and for the last couple of weeks she's been gone to Brazil... I mean, from her perspective I'm still the new guy on the block sorta thing... I'm sure there's interest, but I know for a fact I don't dump my girlfriend the moment something new catches my eye You scope it out first, and I'm doing that as well... I'm trying to figure out exactly how much I like this girl. I think the same person said "If she'll cheat with you, she'll cheat on you" and I believe this WHOLEHEARTEDLY. That's why I'm not trying to "bust a move" so to speak... If I did and she didn't take it "positively", then it screws future chances... And if she does, how can I ever really trust her? I'm not the cheating kind of guy no matter which end I'm on. So if we're going to become a couple, the boyfriend has to go first.
I'm not a shy guy, and I'm sure that she'll find out how I feel sooner rather than later (not in any awkward/creepy way... I've had some practice with the whole "I like you" speech lol). So at some point after she gets back she'll probably know for sure that I'm interested.
Thanks all of you for your feedback! It definitely gives me something to think about. Keep em' coming! I appreciate everything.
But you know my position on **** like this. Go for it and damn the consequences. Heh, i somehow slept my way through the majority of my grade 12 friend ring, so i guess im not the best person to ask.
*Standing Ovation*
Well done.
Personally, my thoughts are consequences be damned. With that, I think that the cliche that a relationship would fail because it's placed at work is utter BS. I've dated quite a few of my women co-workers and found that everything worked out just as long as it was supposed to. If you doom yourself to thinking that it'll end in the first place, chances are it will, ya know?
However, I think this. If the boyfriend is a friend of yours then don't, really. Bros before hoes.
I think the thing to do is confront her boyfriend while she's gone, and arrange the 'menage a trois.'
No, just playing... I've seen a lot of good advice on this thread, not sure what else I can tell you. It's a sticky situation. Do you really want to be with this girl after seeing her relationship with this other guy? Is she someone who considers dating a very free, and laid-back thing?
There's nothing worse than wanting to try something serious with someone who wants to hang out with a different guy every time you're at work.
Is she ready for a serious relationship, or is she just looking for fun? I'd ask yourself these things before risking the problems at work.
But go for it... ask some questions and try to see what's going on.
If you're going to pursue a relationship with her, you have to accept two possibilities:
1) You could come to be on bad terms with her boyfriend.
2) You could cause trouble for yourself with the management, especially if this romance, and any conflicts it causes, hinders effective work.
I would say, if you don't value the guy's friendship, and you're not in dire need of your job, go for it.
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Well I'm not in dire need of the job, nor am I friends with the guy by any means... But I do tend to TRY and avoid conflict if possible, which is why I'm hesitant about workplace relationships.
As for her not being ready for a relationship or whatever... I can't honestly say I know what her views on that are. I mean, part of the thing is that if things aren't really serious with this guy, partly it's because they obviously don't have a LOT of chemistry. I know from personal experience (and doing my fair share of "care free" relationships) that it's VERY difficult to be "care free" if you really REALLY click with someone. You don't feel the need or want to be with anyone else sorta thing... I don't know if I invoke that feeling with her or not (I'm not psychic after all... lol) but if I were to get involved I'd be sure to make it clear that it's not just TOTALLY for fun (I mean... I'm okay with some fun too, and I don't know myself yet if she's worth "settling down" for).
Well I'm not in dire need of the job, nor am I friends with the guy by any means... But I do tend to TRY and avoid conflict if possible, which is why I'm hesitant about workplace relationships.
As for her not being ready for a relationship or whatever... I can't honestly say I know what her views on that are. I mean, part of the thing is that if things aren't really serious with this guy, partly it's because they obviously don't have a LOT of chemistry. I know from personal experience (and doing my fair share of "care free" relationships) that it's VERY difficult to be "care free" if you really REALLY click with someone. You don't feel the need or want to be with anyone else sorta thing... I don't know if I invoke that feeling with her or not (I'm not psychic after all... lol) but if I were to get involved I'd be sure to make it clear that it's not just TOTALLY for fun (I mean... I'm okay with some fun too, and I don't know myself yet if she's worth "settling down" for).
I know what you mean.
However, sometimes it might be best to just realize that you're just good friends. I would tell her you're interested, maybe when the relationship with the boyfriend starts to die down. However you want to play it. Just don't ruin anything...
I started working at Montana's a couple of months back. If any of you have been there, you should know that a huge majority of the servers are very attractive females Now that being said, there happens to be this one at work that I *really* quite like. She's actually not the quote-on-quote "hottest" of the bunch of them, but I just love her sense of adventure. She's BIG on travelling, which is a HUGE plus for me... And she's gone for 3 weeks to do some backpacking in Brazil/Argentina.
Since I started working there, sparks have been flying... Pretty obvious flirting, we've even gone out for a couple of coffees at the starbucks across the parking lot. I'm really into this girl.
BUT (and there's always a but)
There's the boyfriend. Who happens to also work with us.
Now, from what I've gathered from other people, he's not really a *serious* boyfriend, and APPARENTLY (granted, i *know* her age based off of facebook) he's two years younger than she is. Other coworkers have said that they're just muckin' around, "seeing eachother" but not really... Know what I mean?
So anyway, I guess I've laid out everything that needs to be known. I'm just curious what you guys think my course of action should be. As said, I'm really into this girl and I like her a lot (that being said, I don't feel like I'll die without her or something), but even ASSUMING that they break up on their own accord, what would be the repurcussions of dating her (possibly even seriously) with him working at the same place as us? And then theres the possibility that she leaves him for me (I'm very intuitive about this sort of thing, and i know shes got a thing for me... so EVEN if it's not the case, I dont need to hear the whole "shes not really into you" arguement... it doesnt help me, im working off the premise that she does like me), what kind of thing should i do then?
I generally make it a personal policy to avoid workplace dating. It usually gets messy... As shown by this scenario. That being said, I do like this girl a lot and i have a LOT in common with her and I like that shes wild enough to handle me. So... here are the main questions (as said, i'm looking for opinions... I'm going to make up my own mind in the end anyway, lol):
1) Do you think I should actively persue her, regardless of boyfriend?
2) Should I wait until the boyfriend is out of the picture, and go for something then?
3) Should I not worry about it at all? Since dating in the workplace is a pain in the butt anyway... lol
I'll be honest, going into this I'm kind of like a mixture between the three right now. Since she's in Argentina, I can't do anything right now (thus I'm thinking about it a bit). I'm figuring I'll actively persue it, see exactly how serious it is... But definitely not make a move until they break up (I'm not that kind of guy, and wouldn't respect the kind of girl who cheats). The whole strategy being that if I create enough attraction on my end, itll cause more tension on that end... So it'll cause a breakup and that leaves me relatively open for the opportunity.
And as said, part 3 is that I'm not really caring OVERLY much since I'm very wary of workplace dating.
So some opinions would be nice! I don't think there's much else that needs to be said (and I don't really have all that much additional information to provide anyway, lol).
So, batter up?
i would hit that up even if she has a boyfriend, if the guy tries to get on your case just say that you didnt know she was in a serious relationship then.
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Sounds like you either have the option of repressing your intentions or bringing them to the surface, I'd say just go for it. I think you'd rather have a bit of workplace drama than risk missing out on a good opportunity.
and dont even worry about the future if you guys break up.
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I love how that could be any Montana's in the city. LOL. The one at South Keys has a Starbucks a skip away and so does the one at Silver City Gloucester. I even think that the one in Kanata does too (not sure).
Alright, on to the advice:
Yes and No. Do the following:
-When she comes back from her trip, wait two weeks before really engaging in any relationship talk (unless she brings it up). Keep up the flirting, ask how the trip went and tell her how much you missed her. You don't have to say it in a direct/romantic way but just let her know you are happy she is back.
-After the two weeks ask her in a casual manner about her relationship with this "boyfriend". The best place to talk to her is probably the Starbucks:p. Her answer will dictate your next move. If she seems to be genuinely interested in pursuing a relationship with this guy you remain her flirty friend. If not, the light is green and you can start to make your move-slowly.
If are unsuccessful in your attempt to begin a serious relationship, or she shrugs you off, remain friends at all costs and continue to communicate. If you do this, you will minimize any dating-in-the-workplace backlash.
Go luck and have fun.:wink:
It's quality of points that matter in a debate, not quantity. Be polite. Be constantly aware of your own ignorance, but be explore honestly and critically any assertions made. Don't debate to win; debate to find the truth. Often this is a compromise between two sides. Often it's not.
-TheInfamousBearAssasin
Get woman elsewhere.
But you know my position on **** like this. Go for it and damn the consequences. Heh, i somehow slept my way through the majority of my grade 12 friend ring, so i guess im not the best person to ask.
But go for it.
Once I was working at a country club and I was 18 and home from my freshman year of college. I had a huge thing for a girl that I worked with, we were both servers, and we always flirted back and forth, just harmless. Well, she had a bf who had cheated on her twice, treated her like garbage, and wasn't going anywhere in his life, but she was with him forever and loved him anyways. I tried to bring up the courage to tell her how I felt about her towards the end of the summer, even with encouragement from others, but I never could get it out. She probably knew anyways, I wasn't hiding it. I haven't talked or met with her again, outside of myspace once.
I'm 23 now, and met a girl at the job I work my career in. We started to be friends in training and I also developed a thing for her, and we flirted just as much as the first case. She ALSO has a boyfriend, for about five years, who is afraid of commitment and really anti-social. We've hung out all in a group with people from work multiple times. She's 4 years older then me and is getting to the age of wanting to settle down with him and he does not share the same sentiments and won't even move in with her. So after a couple months of flirting I got up the courage to tell her how I felt, partly because of my failure last time and partly because I just had to tell her. Basically she said she knew, just flirts with 'all' her guy friends, and wouldn't date me even if she didn't have a bf (yeah that was a stinger that I didn't appreciate). But it didn't change anything, we still flirt (even if we see each other less because we're in different departments), and we still hang out every week.
All I can say is, I always seem to fall for the girls that already have boyfriends and it has never worked out for me so far, but you will feel so much better when you talk to them about it, that you should, just like everyone else in this thread is saying. I still regret never telling the first girl how I felt about her and I'll never get the chance again.
Hope my first hand experience helped. Everyone has always said dating at work never works but I always end up ignoring that anyways lol.
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"If she'll cheat with you, she'll cheat on you." Not really a problem unless you're really wanting something serious.
"If she was burning for you, then she wouldn't be with this other guy." That was from my cousin. He saved me so much trouble in life with that one sentence. It's okay to let her know you're interested, but don't expect much if she hasn't left her casual byfriend already.
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1-2) Since the boyfriend is two years younger, I'd wait until she dumped him to persue her. Even after she dumps him, don't flaunt your relationship with at work. That's a quick way to get fired or attacked by the exboyfriend. Maybe the best thing to do is find another girl that he likes, hook him up with her, then everything's hunky-dory.
3) Many people have taken this approach to dating in the workplace (reference: "What Woman Want"). But the fact is that a lot of people meet at the workplace and do end up having happy marriages (I know of a couple of these cases in my family alone). I think it's fine for you to pursue her, but make sure you know she's interested. And it sounds like you're walking a thin line by flirting with her at work. I'd think you'd want to keep that to Starbucks chatter.
And as for working with a significant other... I worked in restaurants for 6 years. During my college years, I was a cook and I was dating a girl for about a year when she asked if the restaurant was hiring servers. I vehemently said, "No!" There's no way I'd want to work with someone I was seeing outside of work. That's WAY too much contact. Flirting and having short spurtz of talking is different than a full-fledged relationship. Being able to leave work and be with your sig-other is nice, but if you work with her, it may feel like you've never left. Of course, that's an exaggeration, but take it for what you will.
Good luck!
*Mayreturn*
I have some EDH cards and rare Magic basic lands (APAC, EURO, ARENA, etc) so message me if you're looking.
Number of members banned after I posted a BTR: 7
Looking for honest buyers, sellers, and traders.
Forget about it.
Resteraunts are, without a doubt, the worst place to screw coworkers.
People are just talking during the entire shift.
Unless you want the entire staff to know the details of your personal life, leave her alone. Even if you don't care abuot that, the boss or other coworkers might, and I would spare myself the aggravation.
If you want to get chicks, just pretend you're gay. That's what I do.
[/Kidding]
Famliy Guy Emperor Says,
"Something, something something, DARK SIDE!
Something, something, something COMPLETE!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHiUitciuJ8
:symrw::symrw::symrw::symrw::symrw::symrw:
SPIKE GAYMER: not just a beatdown, a beatdown sung to the tune of "I Feel Pretty"!
Y'know on second thought, don't. Karma is a *****...I think I'm going to go take a shower now.
Seriously though, you should just casually ask if her relationship is serious and gauge her response. I mean if it isn't then by all means. And I know that work complicates things, but unless your goal is to make a career (or you desperately need to keep the job no matter what), what have you got to lose?
- Friz
It's quality of points that matter in a debate, not quantity. Be polite. Be constantly aware of your own ignorance, but be explore honestly and critically any assertions made. Don't debate to win; debate to find the truth. Often this is a compromise between two sides. Often it's not.
-TheInfamousBearAssasin
Quoted for truth. It's not just wanting to get in her pants... If I was looking for a quick lay I wouldn't go through all this trouble But she and I have some really chemistry and a lot of common interests. And while some girls are certainly more flirty than others (I've met my fair share, believe me, lol), I have a very strong feeling about this one. I'm not the only one going out of my way to try and strike up a conversation, know what I mean?
Someone said "If she was burning for you, she wouldn't be with the other guy" earlier... I don't feel that's really the case yet, since I've only BEEN there for about 2 months now or so, and for the last couple of weeks she's been gone to Brazil... I mean, from her perspective I'm still the new guy on the block sorta thing... I'm sure there's interest, but I know for a fact I don't dump my girlfriend the moment something new catches my eye You scope it out first, and I'm doing that as well... I'm trying to figure out exactly how much I like this girl. I think the same person said "If she'll cheat with you, she'll cheat on you" and I believe this WHOLEHEARTEDLY. That's why I'm not trying to "bust a move" so to speak... If I did and she didn't take it "positively", then it screws future chances... And if she does, how can I ever really trust her? I'm not the cheating kind of guy no matter which end I'm on. So if we're going to become a couple, the boyfriend has to go first.
I'm not a shy guy, and I'm sure that she'll find out how I feel sooner rather than later (not in any awkward/creepy way... I've had some practice with the whole "I like you" speech lol). So at some point after she gets back she'll probably know for sure that I'm interested.
Thanks all of you for your feedback! It definitely gives me something to think about. Keep em' coming! I appreciate everything.
First off, this needs to be done ...
*Standing Ovation*
Well done.
Personally, my thoughts are consequences be damned. With that, I think that the cliche that a relationship would fail because it's placed at work is utter BS. I've dated quite a few of my women co-workers and found that everything worked out just as long as it was supposed to. If you doom yourself to thinking that it'll end in the first place, chances are it will, ya know?
However, I think this. If the boyfriend is a friend of yours then don't, really. Bros before hoes.
No, just playing... I've seen a lot of good advice on this thread, not sure what else I can tell you. It's a sticky situation. Do you really want to be with this girl after seeing her relationship with this other guy? Is she someone who considers dating a very free, and laid-back thing?
There's nothing worse than wanting to try something serious with someone who wants to hang out with a different guy every time you're at work.
Is she ready for a serious relationship, or is she just looking for fun? I'd ask yourself these things before risking the problems at work.
But go for it... ask some questions and try to see what's going on.
1) You could come to be on bad terms with her boyfriend.
2) You could cause trouble for yourself with the management, especially if this romance, and any conflicts it causes, hinders effective work.
I would say, if you don't value the guy's friendship, and you're not in dire need of your job, go for it.
Many thanks to ChibiSwan of The Ugly Swan for the great banner!
As for her not being ready for a relationship or whatever... I can't honestly say I know what her views on that are. I mean, part of the thing is that if things aren't really serious with this guy, partly it's because they obviously don't have a LOT of chemistry. I know from personal experience (and doing my fair share of "care free" relationships) that it's VERY difficult to be "care free" if you really REALLY click with someone. You don't feel the need or want to be with anyone else sorta thing... I don't know if I invoke that feeling with her or not (I'm not psychic after all... lol) but if I were to get involved I'd be sure to make it clear that it's not just TOTALLY for fun (I mean... I'm okay with some fun too, and I don't know myself yet if she's worth "settling down" for).
I know what you mean.
However, sometimes it might be best to just realize that you're just good friends. I would tell her you're interested, maybe when the relationship with the boyfriend starts to die down. However you want to play it. Just don't ruin anything...
Trade thread!
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showthread.php?t=556274
or
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