Yeah, I've just started my Freshman year of college, and uh, I'm a little embarrased to be asking this...but how can one mingle with the other new students...like starting conversation and stuff.
-Rathi 'Walker
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Jace was an awesome character and the neo-walkers seem like they will be a good concept given what I read in Agents of Artifice.
I just choose a semi-public place like a lunchroom, lounge or library and read a comic book, a game core book like the DnD Player's Guide, or shuffle/build a magic deck. Eventually someone walks up to me and talks about it. It allows me to be shy and outgoing at the same time.
Or for a cheaper alternative, just buy yourself lots of drinks. That will help you come out of your shell quite nicely Just don't overdo it- aim for what a friend of mine refers to as "suitably extroverted".
Likely, you'll make friends when you are lumped together with an assignment or projects, and conversations take a life of their own during such discussions. Ask them if they know anyplace good to eat -- that will most likely get you invited to have lunch with them (if they do know), or you can suggest somewhere (if they don't).
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"Sometimes, the situation is outracing a threat, sometimes it's ignoring it, and sometimes it involves sideboarding in 4x Hope//Pray." --Doug Linn
Talk to people you have classes with. Most people are actually pretty nice, and you'll find a lot of people in the same boat as you. Look for groups and clubs; good way to meet people.
Keep candy with you at your desk, dorm, or wherever. It encourages people to drop by regularly. Start with small talk, find any returning of frequent customers, and watch the magic.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done." - Sir Peter Ustinov
I've known plenty of people who started off as mediocre or half-friends and soon became quite close. The trick is finding out which people can make the transition from semi to full.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done." - Sir Peter Ustinov
Join a club. If its anything like my college it will have a "geeky" club (role-playing, cardgaming and/or boardgaming.) Join it...they're used to shy people. I was just like you when I started...I joined the roleplaying club, and made a bunch of friends for life.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Johnny (with a touch of Spike)..
Creator of Thoughtless Sensei and Morph Aggro
Gaymer Raccoons please My artworkz
"We've made OVER NINE THOUSAND unique cards."
- MaRo, October 8th, 2007 IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND!!!!!
I find that generally, if you're asking how to come out of your shell, you gotta push your boundaries greatly to truly come out of them. I used to be content to just sit at home all the time, but slowly, i just starting forcing my friends out more, and through that i met NEW friends.
ITs all about exploring what you find comfortable, and then pushing it past that.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
[19:59] greymon90210: Hey StormBlind how tall are you? "I'm six money *****, don't forget it"
"The Critics always said that we'd only have a black president when pigs flu"...
I'm finding that entering the culinary program at my school has brought me out much, much more than anything else ever has. Nearly everyone there has a shared interest in the love for food, whether making it, serving it, or eating it, so conversation's really easy stuff. And, at least at my school, you end up having classes with the same people all over the place, so maintaining friendship for a while is really simple.
Clubs and programs for your interests should be a great place for emerging from that shells. Other than that, I'd say just hanging out in a hall, around a building (lots of people hang out around the library here, for example) or at a bus stop and striking up conversation with someone else hanging out around there, talking about whatever. Asking if they're waiting for someone (or a class, or whatever) can usually break silence.
Oh, and don't be afraid of making a complete fool of yourself. Everyone, everyone, has done it before and nobody's going to hold it against you, and whenever you start anything you're going to make a mistake or two. Just keep at it.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
[The Crafters] | [Johnnies United]
My anecdotal evidence disagrees with yours! EXPLAIN THAT!
a) Go to Orientation Week (I don't know if you have a different name for it, but Orientation or Frosh Week is what I know it as). This is double true if your particular faculty has their own activities. It's a time for you to be on campus without the stresses of actual study.
b) Attend your classes. This is especially helpful because there is a decent chance that the people you take classes with are a lot like you personality-wise.
c) Stay positive. Even if it doesn't seem like it, there are others who are as nervous as you and even moreso. If you approach every day with a positive attitude and a smile on your face, you just may be "the guy who convinced me it's not so bad."
d) Go to the student union (or whatever similar stuff your school may have) and see if you can get a list of clubs. Then join something that interests you. Intramural dodgeball league, photography club, heck, they may even have a board game/CCG club (I personally learned to how play Settlers of Catan, Bridge and Booster Draft from one or more clubs that may or may not exist at a school I may or may not go too :D)
So anyways, the main piece of advice I can give you is not to sweat it too much. I know a lot of freshmen get those jitters and, trust me, it tends to work out. You made friends in high school, right? And what is college if not high school with a little more freedom and classes where everyone has a similar passion?
Just keep your chin up and have a great sense of humour
I found it helpful to branch out from befriending hallmates, and then becoming friends with people in smaller classes. Once you get into group projects and what not, it definitely gets easier to make some friends too. I made some good friends doing a video project for one of my theatre classes.
Make a paper mache phallus for your 3-D design class (or equivalent, if you have one). The next semester, light it on fire in front of some kind of memorial. People recognize me as "the guy with the dick." Thats how I got out of my shell.
Pretty much anything involving a ***** will work though.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
GENERATION 3.78: The first time you see this, add it into your sig and add 1 to the number after generation
I was totally in the same boat as you were last year. If I could do it again, I would go door to door down the dorm and introduce myself. There is really no other way to do it then to just make yourself talk to people. Granted, not everyone will be responsive, but some will. So, assuming your in the dorm, just go to everyones door, introduce yourself, ask where they are from, what they are majoring in, what they're taking, comment on their room setup, etc. I was shy and didn't really branch out, and it resulted in me not having a very large group of friends and it was pretty boring. And if you're into it, check out the greek system. Thats another way to meet a ton of people, and meet hot sorority chicks.
I think coming out of your shell really depends on what university or college you attend. Many different campuses have completely different personalitites. For example, Berkeley has a history of being extremely liberal. And UC Santa Barbara is full of lax, not studious students. I would like to think people in Stanford are more introvert but I honestly don't have any evidence of that. You have to adapt yourself to your situation. In some colleges, people will probably think you're weird if you just come up to them and start talking to them.
I, personally, feel the best way to get through is just to go with your intuitive side. Now if that has failed you all your life, you could always try some of the things in this thread. But if doing so is really not something you wouldnormally do, don't do it. When your new friends expect you to be happy and talk to everyone like they've been your best friend everyday, you'll come to realize that you've put yourself amongst the wrong crowd of people. I'm not saying this is bad if you're really like that, but most people just don't feel 100% up to everything. I found that out with myself very fast. Find people that kind of look like you. I have no evidence whatsoever but from my personal crazed philosophy, the way people's faces and figure develop may be largely affected by their philosophy and outlook in life. Hence old married couples end up looking so alike even though they have no blood relation.
I met people by being an ignorant **** and ignoring them. *lol* The guy who became my best friend kept talking to me and I eventually talked to him.
I don't advise doing what I did. Talk to people in your classes. Hang around the cafeteria or union. Join a club. Also, go to restaurants and stores in the surrounding areas.
Just be yourself. I know that sounds corny but if you try too hard people will know it.
Yeah, I've just started my Freshman year of college, and uh, I'm a little embarrased to be asking this...but how can one mingle with the other new students...like starting conversation and stuff.
-Rathi 'Walker
Fraternities though much maligned are good ways to meet lots of people.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Don't you see that the whole aim of Moderators is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make infractions literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it. Every concept that can ever be needed, will be expressed by exactly one word, with its meaning rigidly defined and all its subsidiary meanings rubbed out and forgotten.
Make a paper mache phallus for your 3-D design class (or equivalent, if you have one). The next semester, light it on fire in front of some kind of memorial. People recognize me as "the guy with the dick." Thats how I got out of my shell.
Pretty much anything involving a ***** will work though.
I second this. I first became recognized on campus after I led a small group of people on a "beach day" during the biggest snowstorm of the year. The principle is the same - do something ballsy, cool, and fun, and people will want to talk to you.**
EDIT:**Make sure you enjoy doing whatever it is. Dont force yourself to do something you dont want to do. Thats what frats are for (and they suck!)
-Rathi 'Walker
Then offer to buy whoever is there coffee to make up for you being such a clutz
Control is the ultimate expression of power.
Or for a cheaper alternative, just buy yourself lots of drinks. That will help you come out of your shell quite nicely Just don't overdo it- aim for what a friend of mine refers to as "suitably extroverted".
"Sometimes, the situation is outracing a threat, sometimes it's ignoring it, and sometimes it involves sideboarding in 4x Hope//Pray." --Doug Linn
But if you want true friends it takes a bit more work and a lot more time.
I met my best friend the man would prob take a bullet for me at college and our friendship has been going on for a very long time.
Good friends are hard to find period mediocre friends much easier.
Feel free to bid on my cards here!
Creator of Thoughtless Sensei and Morph Aggro
Gaymer
Raccoons please
My artworkz
"We've made OVER NINE THOUSAND unique cards."
- MaRo, October 8th, 2007
IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND!!!!!
ITs all about exploring what you find comfortable, and then pushing it past that.
Clubs and programs for your interests should be a great place for emerging from that shells. Other than that, I'd say just hanging out in a hall, around a building (lots of people hang out around the library here, for example) or at a bus stop and striking up conversation with someone else hanging out around there, talking about whatever. Asking if they're waiting for someone (or a class, or whatever) can usually break silence.
Oh, and don't be afraid of making a complete fool of yourself. Everyone, everyone, has done it before and nobody's going to hold it against you, and whenever you start anything you're going to make a mistake or two. Just keep at it.
a) Go to Orientation Week (I don't know if you have a different name for it, but Orientation or Frosh Week is what I know it as). This is double true if your particular faculty has their own activities. It's a time for you to be on campus without the stresses of actual study.
b) Attend your classes. This is especially helpful because there is a decent chance that the people you take classes with are a lot like you personality-wise.
c) Stay positive. Even if it doesn't seem like it, there are others who are as nervous as you and even moreso. If you approach every day with a positive attitude and a smile on your face, you just may be "the guy who convinced me it's not so bad."
d) Go to the student union (or whatever similar stuff your school may have) and see if you can get a list of clubs. Then join something that interests you. Intramural dodgeball league, photography club, heck, they may even have a board game/CCG club (I personally learned to how play Settlers of Catan, Bridge and Booster Draft from one or more clubs that may or may not exist at a school I may or may not go too :D)
So anyways, the main piece of advice I can give you is not to sweat it too much. I know a lot of freshmen get those jitters and, trust me, it tends to work out. You made friends in high school, right? And what is college if not high school with a little more freedom and classes where everyone has a similar passion?
Just keep your chin up and have a great sense of humour
Pretty much anything involving a ***** will work though.
There is an imposter among us...
I, personally, feel the best way to get through is just to go with your intuitive side. Now if that has failed you all your life, you could always try some of the things in this thread. But if doing so is really not something you wouldnormally do, don't do it. When your new friends expect you to be happy and talk to everyone like they've been your best friend everyday, you'll come to realize that you've put yourself amongst the wrong crowd of people. I'm not saying this is bad if you're really like that, but most people just don't feel 100% up to everything. I found that out with myself very fast. Find people that kind of look like you. I have no evidence whatsoever but from my personal crazed philosophy, the way people's faces and figure develop may be largely affected by their philosophy and outlook in life. Hence old married couples end up looking so alike even though they have no blood relation.
I don't advise doing what I did. Talk to people in your classes. Hang around the cafeteria or union. Join a club. Also, go to restaurants and stores in the surrounding areas.
Just be yourself. I know that sounds corny but if you try too hard people will know it.
Fraternities though much maligned are good ways to meet lots of people.
I second this. I first became recognized on campus after I led a small group of people on a "beach day" during the biggest snowstorm of the year. The principle is the same - do something ballsy, cool, and fun, and people will want to talk to you.**
EDIT:**Make sure you enjoy doing whatever it is. Dont force yourself to do something you dont want to do. Thats what frats are for (and they suck!)
-Rathi 'Walker