Usually, I would say stop pining for your friend. You're just going to bog yourself down in a hopeless situation most of the time. And doing so can actually help you- if you ask her to set her up with one of her friends, for example, it might spark a thought in her the way being flirty never could.
Yeap, nothing sparks interest like protective jealousy.
If youre friend has show no interest in you, forget it. There will be weirdness and soon she'll pick up on it.
Go to book stores. Coffee houses. Local bars or bars in the boonies.
You don't need a hard core relationship at 21. Mess around. Have fun.
In having that fun, someone will see you, accept you and who knows.
Yeap, nothing sparks interest like protective jealousy.
Unfortunate but true. I believe that no girl, at least when things first start, wants to date a guy that's pining for her. Partially they want to have had a part in things starting, and partially because they like the confidence and air you project when you don't particularly care if you're single or not. It's much nicer to be wanted (because someone genuinely likes you) than needed (because they think they have to be in a relationship).
Agreed. That, plus they crave that air of mystery, the thrill of pursuit. If the guy just drops himself in your lap, so to speak, there's no more mystery, no more uncertainty, and that makes it a lot less interesting. (This seems to apply to both genders.)
This is probably why so many people swear by "be a bit of a jerk at first.".
its not about being a jerk, but the best way to go about getting a girl is to not really care. sure, cry to your pillow at night if you want, but thats where it stays. be social, not shy. learn pop culture references, not only T1.5 1337 combos. Girls wanna hear jokes, not that cloudpost should be in X. become a sports fan and tour the local sports bar scene. but follow a rule: NEVER mistake a waitress's flirt with a genuine interest.
mostly: have fun, let people see you having fun, be nice, and be cool.
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Agreed. That, plus they crave that air of mystery, the thrill of pursuit. If the guy just drops himself in your lap, so to speak, there's no more mystery, no more uncertainty, and that makes it a lot less interesting. (This seems to apply to both genders.)
This is probably why so many people swear by "be a bit of a jerk at first.".
Funny you should mention that. I like to just be myself and let who ever is interested in me come to me. Theres actually some work invovled like taking care of your self, looking good, looking for signs of interest. A little eye contact, flashing a smile, being a bit of a flirt, that all it takes (being a model helps too).
As far as getting the girl you want and pine for, I've only pursued one person in my short life and it worked out fine, a 2 year relationship in fact back in highschool. Yes we did start out as friends. When i began to think of her more than a friend I literally swept her off her feet carried her to the top of the roof of our school asked her to prom and made out. Very straight forward, no?
The thing is, i had a feeling she liked me just the same but I had to work to get that vibe from her. I started asking her to do things with me without all of our friends around. She and I were really into painting then so I asked her to go to some of the most romantic areas of our home town to paint the scenary, I tried to get as much alone time with her as I could all the while I became very flirtatious with her and she responded back in kind. This whole flirting thing lasted maybe two weeks before i askd her out, and by then i knew she had to have some romantic feelings for me. Seems like common sense to me.
The idea of being the hunter vs. prey in the whole dating game scenario all comes down to the same thing that has been said time and time again in this thread... It all depends on the person.
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Thanks for the Sig and Avatar Fogatog @EPIC GRAPHICS
It's much nicer to be wanted (because someone genuinely likes you) than needed (because they think they have to be in a relationship).
This hits the nail on the head. It's not about being a jerk, or not caring, or crude. It's about expressing that you like her for her, and not becasue you just want a girlfriend.
If it's her moves that are getting positive responses, then she knows she's being liked for her.
Yeap, nothing sparks interest like protective jealousy.
Go to book stores. Coffee houses. Local bars or bars in the boonies.
You don't need a hard core relationship at 21. Mess around. Have fun.
In having that fun, someone will see you, accept you and who knows.
Unfortunate but true. I believe that no girl, at least when things first start, wants to date a guy that's pining for her. Partially they want to have had a part in things starting, and partially because they like the confidence and air you project when you don't particularly care if you're single or not. It's much nicer to be wanted (because someone genuinely likes you) than needed (because they think they have to be in a relationship).
This is probably why so many people swear by "be a bit of a jerk at first.".
mostly: have fun, let people see you having fun, be nice, and be cool.
Extended: UBGIchorid Toolbox
Standard <retired>: WUR Enduring Ideal 31-7-8
Funny you should mention that. I like to just be myself and let who ever is interested in me come to me. Theres actually some work invovled like taking care of your self, looking good, looking for signs of interest. A little eye contact, flashing a smile, being a bit of a flirt, that all it takes (being a model helps too).
As far as getting the girl you want and pine for, I've only pursued one person in my short life and it worked out fine, a 2 year relationship in fact back in highschool. Yes we did start out as friends. When i began to think of her more than a friend I literally swept her off her feet carried her to the top of the roof of our school asked her to prom and made out. Very straight forward, no?
The thing is, i had a feeling she liked me just the same but I had to work to get that vibe from her. I started asking her to do things with me without all of our friends around. She and I were really into painting then so I asked her to go to some of the most romantic areas of our home town to paint the scenary, I tried to get as much alone time with her as I could all the while I became very flirtatious with her and she responded back in kind. This whole flirting thing lasted maybe two weeks before i askd her out, and by then i knew she had to have some romantic feelings for me. Seems like common sense to me.
The idea of being the hunter vs. prey in the whole dating game scenario all comes down to the same thing that has been said time and time again in this thread... It all depends on the person.
Thanks for the Sig and Avatar Fogatog @EPIC GRAPHICS
This hits the nail on the head. It's not about being a jerk, or not caring, or crude. It's about expressing that you like her for her, and not becasue you just want a girlfriend.
If it's her moves that are getting positive responses, then she knows she's being liked for her.