I would disagree that taking it slow accomplishes nothing.
It's one thing if you "take it slow" by romancing her, or at least making your romantic intentions known somehow. That probably doesn't accomplish nothing.
On the other hand, if by "taking it slow" you mean becoming friends and hoping for something more, in my experience, is a lot more likely to accomplish nothing.
Step 1: Become friends
Step 2: <shrug>
Step 3: Profit!
It's one thing if you "take it slow" by romancing her, or at least making your romantic intentions known somehow. That probably doesn't accomplish nothing.
On the other hand, if by "taking it slow" you mean becoming friends and hoping for something more, in my experience, is a lot more likely to accomplish nothing.
Step 1: Become friends
Step 2: <shrug>
Step 3: Profit!
Indeed. This is a much better way to say it than i did. Thanks for being a mind reader Azer!
I was frustrated by getting stuck in the friend zone frequently, and didn't understand WTF these girls' problem was. Then the reverse situation happened, and a longtime friend of mine suddenly got all crushy on me. After that I totally understood why girls get weirded out when that happens to them.
I was frustrated by getting stuck in the friend zone frequently, and didn't understand WTF these girls' problem was. Then the reverse situation happened, and a longtime friend of mine suddenly got all crushy on me. After that I totally understood why girls get weirded out when that happens to them.
Yes, really...Otherwise i wouldn't ask. Sorry if that sounded snappy.
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I would disagree that taking it slow accomplishes nothing. This is truly dependent on the guy involved. If you are truly uncomfortable with rushing in, then don't. Take it slow. She'll let you know (one way or another) what she wants or needs in the relationship. It's very much a "feel your way along" sort of thing.
If she thinks of you a friend and you are slowly pushing things, I don't think she'll be doing much to let you know. I mean if she's deliberately giving you signals, clearly she is already interested in you as more than a friend, and then there's little point to slowly working things up to a romantic level.
I do agree slowness isn't necessarily bad though, i.e. see Azerbaijan's post.
Slowness'? why take it slow at all, Go to a club, see a girl thats hot, dance with her, make out a little, then get her number or take her home. If she ends up being cool then great.
It seems very simple to me.
Do you like a girl in particular? hows this, ask her out! if you spring it on her out of no where, who cares if she says.. yes. Those of you who say you dont want to "freak her out" by going fast- well then she wasnt really interested in you in the first place and you really should move on to the next. And how exactly do you freak out a women by saying "i like you and i wish we more then friends" if they have a negitive reaction to that or cant talk rationally about it then would you want to date someone like that.
Being hoplessly in love with someone and for them to not know it is much worse then for them to not return the same feelings. "To have loved and lost" etc. Its all about putting yourself out there. there is nothing safe about love so stop being a pansy and make the first move.
The way things develope by taking it slow is usually a natural romance between two people and i think its a waste of time if you try to plan and strategize some way of "winning her over". Dont give up on that person just be straight forward. Confidence and knowing what you want makes you much more attractive then beating around the bush and sending mixed signals.
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From my experience, and from reading this thread, there's a lot of good advice going on here. Just don't jump into things before you're ready, and when you're ready, as long as there aren't random blocks in the way, pursue. [and by random blocks ... = other relationships.]
Don't retend to be something you're not, either. Seriously. I wouldn't be able to stand pretending for longer than a day, much less a relationship. All the baggage has to be aired out eventually anyways, you may as well present something truthful right away.
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my mouth is full of winsome lies -
and eyes are full of death besides
but luckily the soul is wise -
it sees beyond my blindness and
forced failure makes a better guise,
so as i come again alive,
it feels like life's a decent plan
Slowness'? why take it slow at all, Go to a club, see a girl thats hot, dance with her, make out a little, then get her number or take her home. If she ends up being cool then great.
It seems very simple to me.
The discussion was about wooing people you were already friends with, but just friends with. Once things get to that point, additional steps are required before just asking someone out, wouldn't you agree?
EDIT: Well no, you could just ask her out and get over it if she says no. Probably less successful but also guaranteed not to waste time.
EDIT2: The most important thing there in collisioncourse's advice is "TREAT HER LIKE A PERSON". Too much dating goes horribly wrong because guys get into the mindset "OMG she's a girl, they are like a different species who I don't know how to handle!!", when really we are all motivated by the same basic desires.
The discussion was about wooing people you were already friends with, but just friends with. Once things get to that point, additional steps are required before just asking someone out, wouldn't you agree?
EDIT: Well no, you could just ask her out and get over it if she says no. Probably less successful but also guaranteed not to waste time.
Is it really less successful? I can't think of a good way to work up from friend to paramour. You can try to do that in small steps, but at some point you're going to have to do something that she notices, to see how she responds...why not just do that right away? Why waste time doing insignificant stuff that she's not going to understand as a romantic overture? Meanwhile she meets some hot volunteer firefighter at a rave and goes on a monthlong vacation to the Seychelles with him.
Is it really less successful? I can't think of a good way to work up from friend to paramour. You can try to do that in small steps, but at some point you're going to have to do something that she notices, to see how she responds...why not just do that right away? Why waste time doing insignificant stuff that she's not going to understand as a romantic overture? Meanwhile she meets some hot volunteer firefighter at a rave and goes on a monthlong vacation to the Seychelles with him.
If you've been friends with a girl for a long time and she isn't just too shy to let her feelings known, then it's pretty safe to assume she considers you only as a friend. Making a gesture to gauge interest here will just damage the friendship and go nowhere romantically, because she only considers you as a friend. You've got to do something to change that before you start testing waters.
It could be a new attitude, a clever way to bring the two of you together, maybe even just a hawt new look. Like I said it depends on you, her, everything.
Ladder theory's claim that you cant get out of the friends zone easily is bogus. The real truth is you cant get out of the friends zone by doing what you were doing to get into the friends zone (even if you do it better).
If you've been friends with a girl for a long time and she isn't just too shy to let her feelings known, then it's pretty safe to assume she considers you only as a friend. Making a gesture to gauge interest here will just damage the friendship and go nowhere romantically, because she only considers you as a friend. You've got to do something to change that before you start testing waters.
Isn't it just as likely that the pre-testing-waters changes will harm the friendship? If you suddenly become a different person with a different attitude, or approach her differently, isn't that likely to weird her out at least as much as asking her out? At least then she knows what's up.
Plus, every day you spend figuring out the hawttest way to comb your hair is a day that she could meet someone with whom she has an instant spark.
I'm not saying gradual relationship transformations will never work, but as a general rule I'd be skeptical. But look, I had quite a few female friends in high school. Several of them I asked out at one point or another, and they all rejected me. (:rolleyes:) But our friendships didn't fall apart because of that. In fact, the only one that did fall apart did so after we did date during college and it turned out to be awkward.
Maybe I'm the unique one? That'd be a first. Or maybe it's just a matter of how the guy handles the rejection (i.e., don't get all pouty and needy)? I dunno.
Isn't it just as likely that the pre-testing-waters changes will harm the friendship? If you suddenly become a different person with a different attitude, or approach her differently, isn't that likely to weird her out at least as much as asking her out? At least then she knows what's up.
If you genuinely show up looking good, or acting cooler or whatever, I don't see why that should harm the friendship unless she thinks it's just an act.
Coming out and saying "I really like you," in any way could send the message "I've only been friends with you because I want it to be more (often true, too >.>)" which certainly COULD damage the friendship. Yes, it's not always going to happen that way, as you provide by example, but it's far more dangerous than combing your hair better =3
Quote from "Azerbaijan" »
Plus, every day you spend figuring out the hawttest way to comb your hair is a day that she could meet someone with whom she has an instant spark.
If she only thinks of you as a friend then you have zero chance. Working up to a better than zero chance is still a step in the right direction. To put it in Magic terms as seems to be popular in this thread, you can just scoop or you can hope your opponent does not in fact have the Lava Axe they've been signalling. (OK, how the hell do you signal a Lava Axe? T_T)
At least with one, you have a chance.
The issue then is, what if she is just shy and really likes you? Then the best move probably is to make your feelings known before she hits it off with somebody else, I agree. Determining that is another issue again, though.
If you genuinely show up looking good, or acting cooler or whatever, I don't see why that should harm the friendship unless she thinks it's just an act.
Coming out and saying "I really like you," in any way could send the message "I've only been friends with you because I want it to be more (often true, too >.>)" which certainly COULD damage the friendship. Yes, it's not always going to happen that way, as you provide by example, but it's far more dangerous than combing your hair better =3
The fact is, you can't have your cake and eat it too. Sure, comb your hair better, whatever. At some point, though, you're going to have to ask her out, and then you'll be putting the friendship on the line. Meanwhile, you're continuing to act like her friend, which is just digging you into the friend zone by reinforcing her opinion of you as just a friend. I don't see where it's getting you.
If she only thinks of you as a friend then you have zero chance. Working up to a better than zero chance is still a step in the right direction.
I look at it as once she thinks of you as a friend you have zero chance. I (generally) don't believe in "building up," much as you don't believe in "jumping in" from the friend zone.
You said yourself that saying "I really like you" can weird a friendship. As the friendship gets longer, regardless of your hairstyle, saying "I really like you" is only going to get weirder, and if she takes it the wrong way it'll only make the betrayal look larger. ("You faked being my friend for two days when you wanted more?" is a lot better than "You faked being my friend for six months when you wanted more?")
The fact is, you can't have your cake and eat it too. Sure, comb your hair better, whatever. At some point, though, you're going to have to ask her out, and then you'll be putting the friendship on the line. Meanwhile, you're continuing to act like her friend, which is just digging you into the friend zone by reinforcing her opinion of you as just a friend. I don't see where it's getting you.
The best relationships are ones between friends and lovers. You've got the friendship part down, now you need to get the lover part down. She doesn't find you attractive yet, so you work on that.
Quote from "Azerbaijan" »
I look at it as once she thinks of you as a friend you have zero chance. I (generally) don't believe in "building up," much as you don't believe in "jumping in" from the friend zone.
But that's just COMPLETELY WRONG! My girlfriend and I were friends long before anything romantic happened. Just because you are friends doesn't mean a relationship is out of the question.
Yes if you believe this then you should be upfront right away. But you shouldn't believe this, as it's not true.
And I don't get the "jumping in" thing. I don't believe there really is a friends zone, I just use the terms to simplify my points.
Quote from "Azerbaijan" »
You said yourself that saying "I really like you" can weird a friendship. As the friendship gets longer, regardless of your hairstyle, saying "I really like you" is only going to get weirder, and if she takes it the wrong way it'll only make the betrayal look larger. ("You faked being my friend for two days when you wanted more?" is a lot better than "You faked being my friend for six months when you wanted more?")
Yeah, this is true. It is certainly in your interest to work quickly as possible, my point is if she thinks of you as a friend you have to change that before you do any work.
But that's just COMPLETELY WRONG! My girlfriend and I were friends long before anything romantic happened. Just because you are friends doesn't mean a relationship is out of the question.
This is the problem I have. Just when IS it IN...of the...question....erm...how to phrase...Just when is it permissible? Hmmm...no....screw it...when is it a good idea?
About any "subpar" mechanics or cards: Context is king.
If I make a templating or grammar error, let me know.
The franchise MtG most resembles is Battlestar Galactica. Why? Its players exist in, at most, a dozen different models at any given point in time, with perhaps up to 3% variation, 5% if you're lucky.
Should you hit on your friend? I find this question quite situational, the reason being that this may and may not be a good idea depending on who you are asking.
For example, many childhood 'friends' had always had more of a b/f g/f relationship but were simply too young to express their sentiments. It would be completely okay to ask one of those people. Those people are probably waiting for you to make your move but are too shy to approach you.
The type of people you shouldn't ask are the people who tend to be your friend just because you're a nice person. Many of these people do not see you as anything more of a friend. The way I look at it, there is a reason that you are just friends with these people. It was a mutual agreement that should be kept.
The type of people you shouldn't ask are the people who tend to be your friend just because you're a nice person. Many of these people do not see you as anything more of a friend. The way I look at it, there is a reason that you are just friends with these people. It was a mutual agreement that should be kept.
About any "subpar" mechanics or cards: Context is king.
If I make a templating or grammar error, let me know.
The franchise MtG most resembles is Battlestar Galactica. Why? Its players exist in, at most, a dozen different models at any given point in time, with perhaps up to 3% variation, 5% if you're lucky.
P.S. Sorry for the caps, but I do hate the lack of definitive tips to work with.
You probably won't get any. As we've seen time and time again with threads like these, definitive tips are a rare thing indeed. For the simple reason that every situation is different, and has its own cues and possible solutions. There's no golden advice that will apply perfectly to any given problem.
No, no. I think I can describe how to tell. I was just lazy and had a case of writers block. Here are some hints that your friend has a crush on you. If none of these apply, you can just assume they aren't interested. Better safe than sorry, thats what I always say.
1. she always gives you a present for holidays or for your birthday and you almost never give her anything in returen.
2. she tells you she likes you or she is pregnant with your baby.
3. she thinks all your girlfriends are ugly and ****ty.
Like I said before and like mikey said, the reason why I never said anything about signs in the first place is because every situation and girl is different.
But you should look for simple, little things like eye contact, smiles, the way she laughs, etc. My last girlfriend was a friend of mine for a while. When I kissed her for the first time I got my signs because of some of the things she said and the way she said it... kind of shy. When we would make eye contact she'd smile and would kind of look down a little. She was nervous around me too... kind of got the feeling she wanted to kiss me but just was too nervous to. So I did it for her, glad I did it before she did though.
But as for timing... how long have you have you known her, again? Thats a big part of it. I don't know how you act around her or how she acts around you. But you should start off with some signals of your own. Just simple eye contact, smiling, flirting a little, giving her little compliments. If you give her a compliment that she looks nice or something and she reacts weird to it... then your prolly not going to get anywhere. Instead, I would start sending my signals to her and gauging her reaction. From then you can either find out if there is a chance or if there is no way. If there is obviously no way, then you can just forget about it and save the friendship. Or you can be careless and risk the friendship to try to be with her. If you really want it, it'll be worth the risk. If you think that she is interested slightly then you can break the news to her easily.
So don't "take it slow" because time is a factor since you never want someone else to come along and take her away from you. But if you rush into it without reading or sending signs, you might leave yourself vulnerable, get hurt, and lose a friend. So send some signs of your own and read her reactions. After... lets say... a week after starting your signals then get her alone some day and say something like... "ummm... I wanted to talk to you because... well as you know we have been friends for a while now. And I don't know how you feel about me but I really like you. Your [insert random qualities about her appearance and her personality that you like]" and then ask her to go on some date with you or something... if that doesn't work then oh well.
The benefits outweigh the consequences.
PS: Of course, you could always come up with something else you will say to her depending on what you think will work. That was just something I came up with at 3:30 in the morning, overcaffienated, watching a movie, and playing poker.
So don't "take it slow" because time is a factor since you never want someone else to come along and take her away from you. But if you rush into it without reading or sending signs, you might leave yourself vulnerable, get hurt, and lose a friend. So send some signs of your own and read her reactions.
Sounds like the best advice so far as far as getting a "friend" to like you. Ive always say dont go slow, if you want something be proavtive in getting it. And just like physcosick is saying; at least have a hint that she like you back. If your being flirtatious with her and shes responding well, then theres your chance and you better jump on it before she says to her self "oh hes just kidding'
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Sounds like the best advice so far as far as getting a "friend" to like you. Ive always say dont go slow, if you want something be proavtive in getting it.
Although, in the end, "don't" is good advice too ;). It's bloody complicated with friends- and I mean actual friends, not acquaintances or friends of friends. Those are the most common positions to segue into dating if there's interest.
Usually, I would say stop pining for your friend. You're just going to bog yourself down in a hopeless situation most of the time. And doing so can actually help you- if you ask her to set her up with one of her friends, for example, it might spark a thought in her the way being flirty never could.
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On the other hand, if by "taking it slow" you mean becoming friends and hoping for something more, in my experience, is a lot more likely to accomplish nothing.
Step 1: Become friends
Step 2: <shrug>
Step 3: Profit!
Indeed. This is a much better way to say it than i did. Thanks for being a mind reader Azer!
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I was frustrated by getting stuck in the friend zone frequently, and didn't understand WTF these girls' problem was. Then the reverse situation happened, and a longtime friend of mine suddenly got all crushy on me. After that I totally understood why girls get weirded out when that happens to them.
Yes, really...Otherwise i wouldn't ask. Sorry if that sounded snappy.
Credit for my sig banner goes to my friend Raptor. <3
Credit for my sig banner goes to my friend Raptor. <3
If she thinks of you a friend and you are slowly pushing things, I don't think she'll be doing much to let you know. I mean if she's deliberately giving you signals, clearly she is already interested in you as more than a friend, and then there's little point to slowly working things up to a romantic level.
I do agree slowness isn't necessarily bad though, i.e. see Azerbaijan's post.
It seems very simple to me.
Do you like a girl in particular? hows this, ask her out! if you spring it on her out of no where, who cares if she says.. yes. Those of you who say you dont want to "freak her out" by going fast- well then she wasnt really interested in you in the first place and you really should move on to the next. And how exactly do you freak out a women by saying "i like you and i wish we more then friends" if they have a negitive reaction to that or cant talk rationally about it then would you want to date someone like that.
Being hoplessly in love with someone and for them to not know it is much worse then for them to not return the same feelings. "To have loved and lost" etc. Its all about putting yourself out there. there is nothing safe about love so stop being a pansy and make the first move.
The way things develope by taking it slow is usually a natural romance between two people and i think its a waste of time if you try to plan and strategize some way of "winning her over". Dont give up on that person just be straight forward. Confidence and knowing what you want makes you much more attractive then beating around the bush and sending mixed signals.
Thanks for the Sig and Avatar Fogatog @EPIC GRAPHICS
Don't retend to be something you're not, either. Seriously. I wouldn't be able to stand pretending for longer than a day, much less a relationship. All the baggage has to be aired out eventually anyways, you may as well present something truthful right away.
and eyes are full of death besides
but luckily the soul is wise -
it sees beyond my blindness and
forced failure makes a better guise,
so as i come again alive,
it feels like life's a decent plan
The discussion was about wooing people you were already friends with, but just friends with. Once things get to that point, additional steps are required before just asking someone out, wouldn't you agree?
EDIT: Well no, you could just ask her out and get over it if she says no. Probably less successful but also guaranteed not to waste time.
EDIT2: The most important thing there in collisioncourse's advice is "TREAT HER LIKE A PERSON". Too much dating goes horribly wrong because guys get into the mindset "OMG she's a girl, they are like a different species who I don't know how to handle!!", when really we are all motivated by the same basic desires.
If you've been friends with a girl for a long time and she isn't just too shy to let her feelings known, then it's pretty safe to assume she considers you only as a friend. Making a gesture to gauge interest here will just damage the friendship and go nowhere romantically, because she only considers you as a friend. You've got to do something to change that before you start testing waters.
It could be a new attitude, a clever way to bring the two of you together, maybe even just a hawt new look. Like I said it depends on you, her, everything.
Ladder theory's claim that you cant get out of the friends zone easily is bogus. The real truth is you cant get out of the friends zone by doing what you were doing to get into the friends zone (even if you do it better).
Plus, every day you spend figuring out the hawttest way to comb your hair is a day that she could meet someone with whom she has an instant spark.
I'm not saying gradual relationship transformations will never work, but as a general rule I'd be skeptical. But look, I had quite a few female friends in high school. Several of them I asked out at one point or another, and they all rejected me. (:rolleyes:) But our friendships didn't fall apart because of that. In fact, the only one that did fall apart did so after we did date during college and it turned out to be awkward.
Maybe I'm the unique one? That'd be a first. Or maybe it's just a matter of how the guy handles the rejection (i.e., don't get all pouty and needy)? I dunno.
If you genuinely show up looking good, or acting cooler or whatever, I don't see why that should harm the friendship unless she thinks it's just an act.
Coming out and saying "I really like you," in any way could send the message "I've only been friends with you because I want it to be more (often true, too >.>)" which certainly COULD damage the friendship. Yes, it's not always going to happen that way, as you provide by example, but it's far more dangerous than combing your hair better =3
If she only thinks of you as a friend then you have zero chance. Working up to a better than zero chance is still a step in the right direction. To put it in Magic terms as seems to be popular in this thread, you can just scoop or you can hope your opponent does not in fact have the Lava Axe they've been signalling. (OK, how the hell do you signal a Lava Axe? T_T)
At least with one, you have a chance.
The issue then is, what if she is just shy and really likes you? Then the best move probably is to make your feelings known before she hits it off with somebody else, I agree. Determining that is another issue again, though.
I look at it as once she thinks of you as a friend you have zero chance. I (generally) don't believe in "building up," much as you don't believe in "jumping in" from the friend zone.
You said yourself that saying "I really like you" can weird a friendship. As the friendship gets longer, regardless of your hairstyle, saying "I really like you" is only going to get weirder, and if she takes it the wrong way it'll only make the betrayal look larger. ("You faked being my friend for two days when you wanted more?" is a lot better than "You faked being my friend for six months when you wanted more?")
The best relationships are ones between friends and lovers. You've got the friendship part down, now you need to get the lover part down. She doesn't find you attractive yet, so you work on that.
But that's just COMPLETELY WRONG! My girlfriend and I were friends long before anything romantic happened. Just because you are friends doesn't mean a relationship is out of the question.
Yes if you believe this then you should be upfront right away. But you shouldn't believe this, as it's not true.
And I don't get the "jumping in" thing. I don't believe there really is a friends zone, I just use the terms to simplify my points.
Yeah, this is true. It is certainly in your interest to work quickly as possible, my point is if she thinks of you as a friend you have to change that before you do any work.
This is the problem I have. Just when IS it IN...of the...question....erm...how to phrase...Just when is it permissible? Hmmm...no....screw it...when is it a good idea?
About any "subpar" mechanics or cards: Context is king.
If I make a templating or grammar error, let me know.
The franchise MtG most resembles is Battlestar Galactica. Why? Its players exist in, at most, a dozen different models at any given point in time, with perhaps up to 3% variation, 5% if you're lucky.
For example, many childhood 'friends' had always had more of a b/f g/f relationship but were simply too young to express their sentiments. It would be completely okay to ask one of those people. Those people are probably waiting for you to make your move but are too shy to approach you.
The type of people you shouldn't ask are the people who tend to be your friend just because you're a nice person. Many of these people do not see you as anything more of a friend. The way I look at it, there is a reason that you are just friends with these people. It was a mutual agreement that should be kept.
BUT...HOW...DO...YOU...TELL? WHAT...CUES...DO...YOU...LOOK...FOR?
P.S. Sorry for the caps, but I do hate the lack of definitive tips to work with.
About any "subpar" mechanics or cards: Context is king.
If I make a templating or grammar error, let me know.
The franchise MtG most resembles is Battlestar Galactica. Why? Its players exist in, at most, a dozen different models at any given point in time, with perhaps up to 3% variation, 5% if you're lucky.
You probably won't get any. As we've seen time and time again with threads like these, definitive tips are a rare thing indeed. For the simple reason that every situation is different, and has its own cues and possible solutions. There's no golden advice that will apply perfectly to any given problem.
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
1. she always gives you a present for holidays or for your birthday and you almost never give her anything in returen.
2. she tells you she likes you or she is pregnant with your baby.
3. she thinks all your girlfriends are ugly and ****ty.
4. you're the only guy she ever talks to.
5. her friends think she likes you.
But you should look for simple, little things like eye contact, smiles, the way she laughs, etc. My last girlfriend was a friend of mine for a while. When I kissed her for the first time I got my signs because of some of the things she said and the way she said it... kind of shy. When we would make eye contact she'd smile and would kind of look down a little. She was nervous around me too... kind of got the feeling she wanted to kiss me but just was too nervous to. So I did it for her, glad I did it before she did though.
But as for timing... how long have you have you known her, again? Thats a big part of it. I don't know how you act around her or how she acts around you. But you should start off with some signals of your own. Just simple eye contact, smiling, flirting a little, giving her little compliments. If you give her a compliment that she looks nice or something and she reacts weird to it... then your prolly not going to get anywhere. Instead, I would start sending my signals to her and gauging her reaction. From then you can either find out if there is a chance or if there is no way. If there is obviously no way, then you can just forget about it and save the friendship. Or you can be careless and risk the friendship to try to be with her. If you really want it, it'll be worth the risk. If you think that she is interested slightly then you can break the news to her easily.
So don't "take it slow" because time is a factor since you never want someone else to come along and take her away from you. But if you rush into it without reading or sending signs, you might leave yourself vulnerable, get hurt, and lose a friend. So send some signs of your own and read her reactions. After... lets say... a week after starting your signals then get her alone some day and say something like... "ummm... I wanted to talk to you because... well as you know we have been friends for a while now. And I don't know how you feel about me but I really like you. Your [insert random qualities about her appearance and her personality that you like]" and then ask her to go on some date with you or something... if that doesn't work then oh well.
The benefits outweigh the consequences.
PS: Of course, you could always come up with something else you will say to her depending on what you think will work. That was just something I came up with at 3:30 in the morning, overcaffienated, watching a movie, and playing poker.
Thanks to Craven at Epic Graphics!
Sounds like the best advice so far as far as getting a "friend" to like you. Ive always say dont go slow, if you want something be proavtive in getting it. And just like physcosick is saying; at least have a hint that she like you back. If your being flirtatious with her and shes responding well, then theres your chance and you better jump on it before she says to her self "oh hes just kidding'
Thanks for the Sig and Avatar Fogatog @EPIC GRAPHICS
Although, in the end, "don't" is good advice too ;). It's bloody complicated with friends- and I mean actual friends, not acquaintances or friends of friends. Those are the most common positions to segue into dating if there's interest.
Usually, I would say stop pining for your friend. You're just going to bog yourself down in a hopeless situation most of the time. And doing so can actually help you- if you ask her to set her up with one of her friends, for example, it might spark a thought in her the way being flirty never could.