The single most important key to meeting women and establishing a relationship well out of the friend zone is JUST BE YOURSELF. Women know bull when they hear it and misrepresenting yourself in the most critical preliminary stage is only gonna snowball later on and fizzle the whole thing. The tough thing about this is that not all women are going to respond in a positive way to who you are; in fact, a lot won't. Patience becomes the key then, as does some self confidence to realize it's not that big a deal if every girl you meet doesn't like you. For this to work, you have to have a pretty good read on people and their reactions. In this way, you can make a mildly suggestive comment and gauge her reaction without having to blatantly ask 'do you like me?' which after a couple of times will bruise even the strongest of male egos. BEWARE: If you have a very unique personality, with niche interests, etc. it could take a while; as well it should if you are truly as Individual as you believe.
The sad part is that this is all very true and I learned it at a young age through mostly bad movies and TV shows. You all know the plot: guy likes girl, guy acts how he thinks girl wants him to, girl begins to like guy, girl finds out he is a sham, girl gets pissed, girl either never forgives him for lying or only does when he comes clean and acts like himself. Simple. True. Just be yourself.
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Please, everyone help me keep these to a minimum...
Originally posted by Kijin You're clearly not metagaming for decktags. This deck is so speedy that you must have forgotten deck tags. DECKTAGS, MOTHER *wooo*, DO YOU USE THEM? What are decktags? Baby, don't forget them. Don't forget them no more. What's bold and red and full of text? Your post after I add deck tags to it.
Women aren't machines. You can't turn them on by acting out steps from some kind of instruction manual - actually that'll be a real turn off. If you're genuinely interested in talking to a woman, she'll know, just like she'll know if you're just talking to her for just one thing.
That is true. However, for guys with very little confidence in finding a girl, an instruction manual can be a godsend. Although there's a significant chance that the methods outlined therein won't work, they at least give you a starting point, something you can rely on and something you can blame if it doesn't work out, removing the burden of risk from yourself.
Anyway, as a girl myself, I can testify that often there are steps you can carry out that would win me over. They do vary a bit from person to person and situation to situation, but they definitely do exist. Sometimes they involve big, obvious things, and sometimes they involve tiny little gestures that you wouldn't even recognise as being part of a list unless you were specifically looking for them. However, the real issue here is that no girl is ever going to tell you what's in her personal instruction manual, because then she wouldn't be able to tell whether you were genuine or just following the steps. (We have a sort of auto-self-destruct mechanism for our instruction manuals - as soon as a guy actually reads it, we throw the whole thing out the window and make up a new list. Truly.)
So the real issue, in the end, is making sure that your actions are genuine. By all means, use a list for inspiration and a confidence boost. There are some things that should be included in any dating instruction manual (such as improving your personal hygiene and speaking clearly). However, for the other instructions, follow your own path. If you're not a funny guy, don't try to use humour to win a girl over - she'll recognise that you're trying too hard and will back away. If she asks you a question, give an honest answer, even if you think it may be the "wrong" one - though by all means, try to frame it in a good light. By being honest with her, she'll see that you are a genuine sort of guy, and that you are secure and confident enough not to hide your own personality and cover it with a fake one.
And smile!
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Endless thanks to Le_Gambit of æтђєг for my avatar and banner!
If you've tried Tim-Tams dipped in salsa, let me know and I'll add you to the list!
The single most important key to meeting women and establishing a relationship well out of the friend zone is JUST BE YOURSELF. Women know bull when they hear it and misrepresenting yourself in the most critical preliminary stage is only gonna snowball later on and fizzle the whole thing. The tough thing about this is that not all women are going to respond in a positive way to who you are; in fact, a lot won't. Patience becomes the key then, as does some self confidence to realize it's not that big a deal if every girl you meet doesn't like you. For this to work, you have to have a pretty good read on people and their reactions. In this way, you can make a mildly suggestive comment and gauge her reaction without having to blatantly ask 'do you like me?' which after a couple of times will bruise even the strongest of male egos. BEWARE: If you have a very unique personality, with niche interests, etc. it could take a while; as well it should if you are truly as Individual as you believe.
The sad part is that this is all very true and I learned it at a young age through mostly bad movies and TV shows. You all know the plot: guy likes girl, guy acts how he thinks girl wants him to, girl begins to like guy, girl finds out he is a sham, girl gets pissed, girl either never forgives him for lying or only does when he comes clean and acts like himself. Simple. True. Just be yourself.
I think there should be a note of caution here. Of course you shouldn't try to be someone else, like trying to be a crazy party guy in the center of attention when you're really a more introverted type who likes to strike up conversations on the sidelines. Not just girls, EVERYONE can tell that. And you'll feel terribly uncomfortable doing it. But I think all of us have different facets of our personality that we bring out in different situations, and that's where sometimes you need to work.
I am a firm believer in the fact that you have a lot of control over who you are- and who you are is how you present yourself to others. Do I present the same person to my friends as to my parents? Hell no. There are similarities, of course, but they are definitely not the same. And I present myself differently with girls too. It's partly a personal decision, partly just playing well with others and not going against their expectations.
I've been with my group of friends for a long time, and our dynamic is well established. But if I acted like that with a girl, I would sink my ship fast 99% of the time. I have a tendency to make (seemingly) off-the-cuff remarks and pop culture references that I know my friends will get. But do I know a girl I just met will understand an American Beauty or obscure Futurama reference? No- in fact, odds are stacked pretty high against it. So I won't make it, and just try to make another clever remark.
And the important point is this- that is NOT being "untrue" to yourself. It is EXPECTED. Only when you get to know someone better can you let your little oddities show and hope they will be endearing. But when you've just started talking? You'd get scared off too. So yes, you shouldn't try to act in a way that's unnatural to you- but you need to follow basic rules of social engagement too.
And that's one thing a lot of people that tend to be Magic players have a problem with. READ and UNDERSTAND social cues. I admit to being quite bad at it myself somtimes (especially when alcohol's involved...), but for God's sake try- like, REALLY TRY. Pay attention when you're talking to someone. Make eye contact, watch their facial expressions, read body language and tone and word choice and all that. It's bloody complicated, especially since girls have different cues than guys. But they are pretty much the only way to get a bead on their reaction to you.
@ Sibtiger
I know ppl will flame on me for stereotyping again but let me just tell you this- the average girl doesn't want to know about what happend in futurama or how kenny was killed in south park, they want someone who is bold. i have found several varities of girls. here are some stereotypical generalizations of what girls like:
1. the cheerleader
this girl is usually pretty and thin. she is confident and mostly only interested with guys with muscles and cars and boldness. her pet peeves are all nerdy men. cartoons completely turn her away. how you slashed your friends tires completely interests her. rumors about her friends and bad opinions toward ppl also make her grade. as a stereotypical mtg player, you would not stand a chance with her.
2. the rejected
this is usually a very obese and plain girl. she is not very attractive and wears clothes out of places like GAP. she is usually a kind person at heart but she is very timid. she probably thinks that everyone is out of her league. to get to her, all one must do is give her a soft smile every once in a while. as you progress, have short conversations and go on from there. this girl will be perceptable to any guy. her pet peeves however may be talkative, bold guys who tend to frighten her off. anyone with a low profile will do for her. he is all she'll ever hope for. her hobbies may vary. most of them actually just like girl music and pretty things. some are tomboyish. as a mtg player, your chances with this girl are high.
c. the sadistic
this girl is very dark. she likes guys that get her. all she really wants is to be understood. she would like any dark guy. occassionally, these girls don't dress dark but simply feel a lot of bad things inside. a guy with compassion is best for this person. also, he could be slightly confident. the type of guys she doesn't like are the talkative, energetic ones who never let her speak. she herself however does not talk much. occassionally, you have to just sit with her in silence. she likes guys who look good. she will bond with anyone she finds common interests with. as a mtg player, your chances with her vary from person to person.
and those are the many types of girls. there're actually many more varieties but i have found these 3 most common. most of the people you know will fit into or between one of these categories.
@ Sibtiger
as a stereotypical mtg player, you would not stand a chance with her.
I started playing magic only a few years ago when i just ogt out of high school. I learned to play while living in Turkey and had no idea what a "stereotypical mtg player" was. I just knew i like the game very much and i was pretty good at it, the people that taught me to play were all very much different in both appearence and backround and could hardly be put into a catagory of there own other than the common thread that they all like mtg.
When i got to the states and had reveiled to many of my long time american friends that i played mtg, the response was surprise, apparently in the states only the socially awkward/nerdy/band geek play mtg. When i lived in the states i never even heard of magic or hung out with anyone who played, so the sterotype was a complete suprise to me as well. I do not fit that sterotype nor do i belive many of the players on this thread. Your single point that does run some creedence is that someone who is socially awkward/nerdy/band geek that plays mtg will not have a chance with the hot cheerleader and neither would socially awkward/nerdy/band geek that didnt play mtg.
And the important point is this- that is NOT being "untrue" to yourself. It is EXPECTED. Only when you get to know someone better can you let your little oddities show and hope they will be endearing. But when you've just started talking? You'd get scared off too. So yes, you shouldn't try to act in a way that's unnatural to you- but you need to follow basic rules of social engagement too.
I agree, i usually leave out the fact that one of my hobbies is mtg when meeting new people as to not have them automatically peg me as that a-typical stereotype. thats not being untrue to who i am, mtg does not define me as a person. There is a time and place to act like a geek and doing it while hitting on someone is definetly not the time.
@ Sibtiger
I know ppl will flame on me for stereotyping again but let me just tell you this- the average girl doesn't want to know about what happend in futurama or how kenny was killed in south park, they want someone who is bold. i have found several varities of girls. here are some stereotypical generalizations of what girls like:
...snip.
I'm pretty sure those are overgeneralization to the point of being utterly useless. I don't think know anyone who comes close to those. Not to mention it certainly doesn't reflect well on the female species... I wouldn't WANT to date any of those girls. Besides, I know girls who fit in the category but utterly defy what you describe (a couple actual cheerleaders, for example, who don't fit into a single thing you said... k except the pretty and thin part). Not to play internet psychologist, but I'm detecting a hint of bias based on what you identify yourself as. (just a hint)
In fact, not many people do fit into any category that's so exaggerative. Most people, surprisingly, do have redeeming qualities. You're violating the rule of stereotypes- yes, they exist and can apply. But they are generalizations. Just because someone fits into the category, you cannot apply the stereotype to that individual. That's when you start making mistakes (Not to delve further into my personal life, but suffice to say I don't consider myself a typical mtger... I don't even play the game much anymore outside a few fun drafts).
And it's bad advice to follow too. If I saw some pretty, thin, blonde girl, should I automatically assume she's a cheerleader and all those things you said about her are true? I don't think so. For all I know she could be a politics geek like me, and is quite possibly a very pleasant person. It's certainly happened a lot to me, even more if you expand to history, drama, languages, and other kinds of academic geeks.
I like to think I have good intuition about people. But even I know not to make judgements on people's characters from such easily misinterpreted signals as hobbies and clothing choice. You have to give people a chance- and that applies well beyond looking for a girlfriend.
how you slashed your friends tires completely interests her.
You know, you are very close to becoming the next Green Arrow. And that would be awesome. Keep up comments like this. They are hilarious.
this is usually a very obese and plain girl. she is not very attractive and wears clothes out of places like GAP.
Ouch.
with a low profile will do for her. he is all she'll ever hope for.
Damn. That is cruel. Hillarious.
as a mtg player, your chances with this girl are high.
Ouch. I'm glad I quit a while ago.
she would like any dark guy.
you know that has a double meaning right?
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Originally Posted by Green Arrow Yes I did, I wouldn't fully disagree with chronoplasam. Perhaps I do deserve toture. But who amongst us besides myself has what it takes to toture me?
Originally Posted by Highroller
Compared to what? I think compared to chocolate ice cream, women, unicorns, and kung fu, the state pretty much sucks.
I like to think I have good intuition about people. But even I know not to make judgements on people's characters from such easily misinterpreted signals as hobbies and clothing choice. You have to give people a chance- and that applies well beyond looking for a girlfriend.
Although i agree with your post there is one thing; to complelty ignore your initial prejuduce of someone by the way the look, act, speak, or do is a bit naive. You can tell alot about a person just by watching them seeing what they wear who they hangout with and general observations. Overall generalization of groups of a whole should be left to broader terms but you cant fault generalizations that are true. In highschool clicks hangout with people of there own "type" right. well why is that, how can you define there "type". looking at them is the first and foremost and you can make a judgement of them off of that, it may not give you insight of there character as you say but it does give you signs to there behavior. Could you tell the difference between a thugged out gangsta or a preppy jock, yes. Can you identify differences in there behavior and assess what there character might be like, yes, even if inaccurate.
So in short if you go talking to a girl that looks like a preppy cheerleader dont be surprised when she is in fact a preppy cheerleader.
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Thanks for the Sig and Avatar Fogatog @EPIC GRAPHICS
When i got to the states and had reveiled to many of my long time american friends that i played mtg, the response was surprise, apparently in the states only the socially awkward/nerdy/band geek play mtg. When i lived in the states i never even heard of magic or hung out with anyone who played, so the sterotype was a complete suprise to me as well. I do not fit that sterotype nor do i belive many of the players on this thread.
(...)
Very true.
In Brazil, the people who played MtG that i knew where the same people who went out at night to bars and clubs, played on the football team, had social lives, etc.
When I got here [in Canada], I was very surprised at the stereotypes. I mean, damn, I played football at school, so did my MtG friends, they went clubbing, etc, none of this 'MtG players are social outcasts' sort of thing that people say here.
Maybe it's the way the game is marketed here.
Very odd, i'd say.
On topic: Seriously, be yourself, and just chill. Dont know you, but, what I do know, as a 'nerd', is: Get out of the basement once in a while, go out, have some fun, don't do only nerdy stuff at school/college. Unless you're looking for a nerdy woman (nothing against that either, since my fiancee <-- proclaims herself a nerd. She isn't the stereotypical nerd-girl, as you can see).
yes, my stereotypes only applies in the states. the reason why normal japanese ppl would play magic is that in th US, we would consider all of you nerdy (if you ever came here). american values emphasize more strength and courage. asian values consist of intellect and sophistication. the "hot" asian guy is slightly thin and not at all buff as of the american football player. he usually gets straight As in all his classes as well. asians tend to focus more on studies and less on sports. this is why everyone in Japan finds it perfectly alright to play magic.
yes, my stereotypes only applies in the states. the reason why normal japanese ppl would play magic is that in th US, we would consider all of you nerdy (if you ever came here). american values emphasize more strength and courage. asian values consist of intellect and sophistication. the "hot" asian guy is slightly thin and not at all buff as of the american football player. he usually gets straight As in all his classes as well. asians tend to focus more on studies and less on sports. this is why everyone in Japan finds it perfectly alright to play magic.
Its too late and im too tired to even begin to say what is wrong with that entire statement, will someone else please!
And by the way I am a "hot" asian guy and I am as "buff" as an american football player... because i was one.
on topic: re-stating anything remotely close to what sentimentgx4 wrote probably wont win you any points with women.
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yes, my stereotypes only applies in the states. the reason why normal japanese ppl would play magic is that in th US, we would consider all of you nerdy (if you ever came here). american values emphasize more strength and courage. asian values consist of intellect and sophistication. the "hot" asian guy is slightly thin and not at all buff as of the american football player. he usually gets straight As in all his classes as well. asians tend to focus more on studies and less on sports. this is why everyone in Japan finds it perfectly alright to play magic.
So, basically, if you play sports and are intelligent, you own the school in the USA? Boy, I wish I had studied there
So, basically, if you play sports and are intelligent, you own the school in the USA? Boy, I wish I had studied there
Unfortunately, soccer (futbol) doesn't count, how backwards is that. Just to chime in on the stereotypes issue, yes they are complete bs as are most stereotypes. The nerdness of the magic scene is always a running joke and all, but it is quite apparent that many types of people play this game (lawyers, soldiers, athletic types, and yes also nerds, on and on) and any woman that would hold it against you isn't worth your time no matter how desparate you may be. Of course my fiance loves to give me a hard time about my nerdish ways because it amuses her but it's all in fun. Nerdness can be the new cool. A good friend of mine once said of her husband (a brilliant techno DJ); "DJs are simply computer/sound nerds that became cool because of electronic musics popularity". Granted, magic may never be that cool, but it is interesting to interesting people.
PS: Aren't you missing Carnival right now Mr. C, my sincere condolences. A few of my Brazilian friends headed down for it this year for a month. Good times.
I haven't noticed a stereotype for Magic players though - not because it's a card game (I know people from all walks of life that play Poker etc), but because of the Genre. People link it too much to Lord of the Rings and other fantasy which does have something of a stigma attached to it.
This is true. People don't roll their eyes to poker (and other card games) as much as they do to MtG simply because of the Fantasy burden. Although, at least where I live, the success of the LotR movies made a lot of people more sympathetic towards fantasy, if only for a short period of time.
I don't think I fit the usual "Fantasy geek" stereotype, and neither do a lot of my Magic-playing friends. In fact, my cousin Daniel, who introduced me to the game some ten years ago, is one of the people I know with the most vibrant social lives (and he already was like that when he started playing).
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PS: Aren't you missing Carnival right now Mr. C, my sincere condolences. A few of my Brazilian friends headed down for it this year for a month. Good times.
Well, like most raves and night club parties, Carnival just isn't the same when you're not single, and apparently Mr. C isn't.
With regards to the poker comparison, apparently no one is taking a good look at a large majority of pro poker players. They are as nerdy in appearance as any group I've seen, come on. The only way they have any advantage over the standard magic nerd is if they are making the big bucks.
sigh... i never said you couldn't play football grass ninja. i was only pointing out the obvious. the asian statement i made is less of a stereotype and more of a cultural factor.
it's hard to believe you lived in asia and do not agree with me at all. anyone who knows anything would see this as SUPER OBVIOUS. many asian schools don't even offer sports (unless you live in more westernized areas). the ones that do have none of the selection than the schools in the US. maybe you haven't applied that you were only hot for being a football player in the states.
back on topic, what i mean is you get more hot points in asia for being smart then for playing football. and to Mr. C, no your logic doesn't work. it only works in some twisted asian schools in the united states (i go to one). this is due to a confusing culture clash. (sigh...) if you're smart, sometimes ppl won't like you because they find you jealous and stuck-up over here.
sigh... i never said you couldn't play football grass ninja. i was only pointing out the obvious. the asian statement i made is less of a stereotype and more of a cultural factor.
it's hard to believe you lived in asia and do not agree with me at all. anyone who knows anything would see this as SUPER OBVIOUS. many asian schools don't even offer sports (unless you live in more westernized areas). the ones that do have none of the selection than the schools in the US. maybe you haven't applied that you were only hot for being a football player in the states.
back on topic, what i mean is you get more hot points in asia for being smart then for playing football. and to Mr. C, no your logic doesn't work. it only works in some twisted asian schools in the united states (i go to one). this is due to a confusing culture clash. (sigh...) if you're smart, sometimes ppl won't like you because they find you jealous and stuck-up over here.
So your a child right? im guessing your a kid soley on your posts to this thread, because everything youve wrote is seemingly from a childs perspective, someone who has yet to leave there hometown for any length of time and has only experienced foreign cultures from the safety of there living room. That is "SUPER OBVIOUS" and "anyone who knows anything" would agree.
Many japanese schools dont offer sports? many of the schools here not only have organized sports in school but also many youth fitness clubs, within 4 blocks of my house there are 3 fitness clubs/gyms many of which offer youth programs like baseball and soccer. And the physique of those who play are the same of an american who would play those sports. would a japanese girl choose those boys over the ones who play chess all day, perhaps.
What you stated was in no way or shape a "cultural factor". Everyone is attracted to a successful person, or an intelligent person in any culture, those are great attributes to have. Your trying to say that the whole of the japanese culture is attracted to the intelligent thin geek? because you believe that there is no other type of person here. Just like any where else in the world it all depends on the person.
What you need to understand is that stereotypes are based on the simplifcation of a particular group and is only beneficial when you havent had the experience around that group to form a better understanding of that culture. Stereotyping a group based on social norms isnt that bad of a thing when the majority of that group abids by those standards, its when you start to assume and catagorize a group of people based off of seemingly random ideals based off of american cultural tv, racism, ignorance and no real evidence to support it otherwise. To say all japanese people like rice is fine since alot of japanese eat rice as a staple in there diet. To say that Japanese would be considered nerdy by american standards is way off the mark and has no ground to stand on whats so ever. neither does saying that all japanes people are attracted to the intelligent.
Maybe when you growup youll finally understand.
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Thanks for the Sig and Avatar Fogatog @EPIC GRAPHICS
If you are looking for a list of steps to follow to win over a girl, you're already putting the power out of your own hands and in whichever dating website you got the list from. You need to accept yourself and believe in yourself to truly become confident and desirable, you cant just push away the responsibility to dating sites or "But I'm a geek." These dating websites target your insecurities, so you must be wary of their advice.
However, these lists can sometimes be the catalysts towards confidence, through positive reinforcement after an encounter with a girl, but really it was just the fact that you thought you had a chance that gave you that confidence. So they're not all bad, but so long as you look directly at a list or blame a list for failures, you will not get anywhere.
There is no such thing as a friends zone and a sexy-time zone. Really. What there is however is a need to be interesting. And the simpering, oh-I'm-so-nice guy is NOT particularly interesting. He also isn't very flattering... it gives the impression of desperate and nobody wants a desperate partner - how terrible for their self-esteem!
That is not to say you need to be mean to girls to make them like you, as so many believe, especially after reading that ladder theory rubbish. No, you simply have to provide more than just niceness. If a girl can obtain that niceness through being friends with you, then she has no motivation to be more than friends with you, dig?
Lastly, though not all would agree with this, girls aren't much different than guys. They just pretend to be. Really.
To the person that said this ( i think it was mr. c):
On topic: Seriously, be yourself, and just chill. Dont know you, but, what I do know, as a 'nerd', is: Get out of the basement once in a while, go out, have some fun, don't do only nerdy stuff at school/college. Unless you're looking for a nerdy woman (nothing against that either, since my fiancee <-- proclaims herself a nerd. She isn't the stereotypical nerd-girl, as you can see).
Seriously, thank you for saying that.
But personally, i'm not much of a stereotypical mtg player. Usually it's only casual play in my house with a couple of my buddies. Sure we have hopes of the big leagues, and are making decks and going to gencon (it'd be my first big event,lol), but in all actuality ...
When I i go to a gaming store, i actually feel left out because i'm not as hardcore as them.
One word of advice, to all who really like to stay within your confinements, GO OUTSIDE OF THEM ! Just a couple days ago i met a really interesting woman who goes to parties and drinks and does drugs on occasion. Not that i support this, but i realize that this is a person that -really- knows how to let go and kick it sometimes.
Again, i don't support it, but i also realize that maybe, being one that has never been to a party before, it might be fun to tag along sometime.
And the interesting thing is, I didn't even try and meet her. One day i came home, got on msn, and she added me. She said that my ex (whom had cheated on me) was her friend, and she told her off for it.
Now, as to whoever said something about conflicting personalities ... Let me explain my position.
I'm kinda a introvert. I'm not really out there, wild and everything. I meet this girl, who is almost my exact opposite, and i'm strangely attracted, yet terrified of it. I've never done pot, never had a sip of alcohol, never had sex ... And this girl shows up who has done all of that.
Then she told me she's taking me to a party when my ankle gets better, as it's in a boot cast from getting surgery on it.
But i guess that just an example ... You really don't have to try and attract women. Sometimes they just fall into your lap.
EDIT: OH, and i have a gift for you guys.
1. Go to this site : http://mohawkradio.com/ 2. Find the band "Blueprint76" 3. Get their song "Live for Today". 4. Listen to it and enjoy. Really, this song would be a really awesome party song, i would imagine Lol, use it as prep music or w/e. I this song.
Later, everyone And good luck to the person who was asking about woman advice. I Hope all these wise advisors are helping you
EDIT2: Oh, and about women who play magic. The last time i went to a prerelease i flirted with a woman that played. She seemed nice enough .... I spent the rest of the day with her, pretty much.
Priest, that's some crazy stuff right there. It's rare that someone comes along and falls into your lap like that. Hope you enjoy the experience!
I was the same way, what with just kinda being withdrawn and everything. I used Magic as an escape from reality. Eventually, I realized that life didn't work that way, and so I backed off it some. Now, I use Magic just for kicks. I'm not a nerd, I'm not a jock, in fact, I fit no stereotypes so far discussed in this thread. I'm just a guy who likes playing cards every now and then.
As for my girlfriend, lets just say that if I was deeply religous, and believed in prayer, I'd pray to God every night, thanking Him. I'll leave it at that.
Priest, that's some crazy stuff right there. It's rare that someone comes along and falls into your lap like that. Hope you enjoy the experience!
Well, i'm hesitant, yet. Again, being how i am now, idk how comfortable i'd be around the drugs and stuff.
Heh, i'm beginning to think you're my twin, since you must think alot like me. I look at what you wrote and i feel like you're telling my life's story, man
Who knows know. I'll probably go just for kicks and see where it takes me.
Hey man, sometimes you've got to go with the flow, and just see where things take you. I'm not a big fan of drugs or anything, but alcohol is something else. (only in moderation and with people you trust around watching to make sure you don't do anything stupid)
I wish you luck with your new lady friend, and may you be as lucky as I have been.
Like, I went to the gym a few days ago and two of the personal trainers were attepmting to hit on me (I am female, incase you're wondering). They both were nice, but sort of creepy. I mean, they asked me questions, and I tried to respond, but mainly I couldn't hear (Speakng Clearly = <3). But eventually they needed to run off for appointments, and they let me be, after an hour of that torment I was happy to know they had other things to do.
So in cliff notes version, Don't force conversation with her, and if she's not really paying attention to you (I.E. not looking directly at you/looking elsewhere. I was trying to find my mom but couldn't.) Back off, because you're just going to be a story for her to tell to her friends. Well, some of the time at least.
In reality, I suggest, be yourself, or even go a little bit past that. If you're the shy-I-like-corners type of person, build up your confidence enough to go strke up a coversation with her (or him as the case may be but this is a thread to find females). At anyrate...thats my poorly constructed 2 cents.
And Sentiment GX, watch the sterotypes, please. Not all girls who play MtG are nasty as you proclaimed on say page 4.
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Credit for my sig banner goes to my friend Raptor. <3
As I said above, alcohol is fun in moderation. Some of it actually tastes decent, and if you've got a few friends around to keep you from doing something idiotic, then it is pretty fun. Meh. To each their own.
However, I've got to say that DO NOT go to a party, get drunk off your ass, then hit on chicks. DOESN'T WORK. You'll just look the fool, trust me. I've had a friend do that and when it backfired, it was both comical and sad to watch. The woman just turned to him, said some stuff I couldn't hear, then decked him when he wouldn't leave her alone. After she walked off, I went and picked him up and drove him home. In the car, I asked what he was trying to do. He mumbled something, then said, "Man, I had no idea she was an ex-Marine..." To this day, I still have no idea what she said to him, but I wish I knew, cause it HAD to be funny.
One word of advice, to all who really like to stay within your confinements, GO OUTSIDE OF THEM ! Just a couple days ago i met a really interesting woman who goes to parties and drinks and does drugs on occasion. Not that i support this, but i realize that this is a person that -really- knows how to let go and kick it sometimes.
Again, i don't support it, but i also realize that maybe, being one that has never been to a party before, it might be fun to tag along sometime.
And the interesting thing is, I didn't even try and meet her. One day i came home, got on msn, and she added me. She said that my ex (whom had cheated on me) was her friend, and she told her off for it.
Now, as to whoever said something about conflicting personalities ... Let me explain my position.
I'm kinda a introvert. I'm not really out there, wild and everything. I meet this girl, who is almost my exact opposite, and i'm strangely attracted, yet terrified of it. I've never done pot, never had a sip of alcohol, never had sex ... And this girl shows up who has done all of that.
Then she told me she's taking me to a party when my ankle gets better, as it's in a boot cast from getting surgery on it.
But i guess that just an example ... You really don't have to try and attract women. Sometimes they just fall into your lap.
That's kind of what happened to me in high school. Except we both got each other to try new things, but she definitely was the extrovert who got me to come out of my shell.
My advice is, you're young, just have fun. If you really don't want to do pot or drink, don't- but don't think that just because other people want you to do it, you shouldn't because then you'll be caving to peer pressure. Especially for an introvert, a few drinks can help you loosen up, speak up, and have fun when you might hold yourself back. Just ask yourself... well, why not?
Opposites attract, by the way. Just watch out. A girl like that can break your heart.
Anyways, I was thinking about those stereotypes, and I really think that's the wrong way to go about it. And while this idea is stolen from Magic, I only made the connection AFTER I thought it out. Remember the player profiles (Timmy, Johnny and Spike)? You can kind of have that for why girls are going to date a guy. Keep in mind, these are much more fluid than a player profile, but still overall applicable. And of course, few girls fit categorically into one profile. There might be more types, but these are most common based on my experience, both with the few relationships I've had and the many I've observed of my close friends.
The Party Girl: Basically, she's dating to have fun. This sounds like Priest's girl. She wants someone to tag along with her, go to parties and let loose. Maybe they want someone to help them push their comfort zone, or maybe they want to push someone else out of theirs. They will often be more shallow relationships, but they will also be a blast (unless you bite off more than you can chew...). Just don't expect them to last long. The most physically demanding kind of girl (in pretty much every respect ;))
The Traditional: Although the actual reasons may vary, these tend to be the most stable and normal relationships. They want to go out on dates, do the romantic thing, and many of them want a guy as a source of intimacy and a bit of stability. The key is just to actually enjoy each others company and have personalities that play off each other well. The biggest demand on you will be time, and to a degree money. Still, for a long lasting, fulfilling relationship, this is the way to go.
The Disturbed: The kind of girl who has, to put it lightly, issues. They want to be in a relationship to validate themselves and raise their self esteem. They want a deep emotional connection and tend to have a bit of a dramatic streak (so do the partyers, but in a different way.) They can be clingy, but on the other hand, they do make you feel needed. Definitely the most emotionally draining type of girl. Unless you're ready for that, I would try to avoid if possible- this is speaking from direct experience here.
The sad part is that this is all very true and I learned it at a young age through mostly bad movies and TV shows. You all know the plot: guy likes girl, guy acts how he thinks girl wants him to, girl begins to like guy, girl finds out he is a sham, girl gets pissed, girl either never forgives him for lying or only does when he comes clean and acts like himself. Simple. True. Just be yourself.
Please, everyone help me keep these to a minimum...
That is true. However, for guys with very little confidence in finding a girl, an instruction manual can be a godsend. Although there's a significant chance that the methods outlined therein won't work, they at least give you a starting point, something you can rely on and something you can blame if it doesn't work out, removing the burden of risk from yourself.
Anyway, as a girl myself, I can testify that often there are steps you can carry out that would win me over. They do vary a bit from person to person and situation to situation, but they definitely do exist. Sometimes they involve big, obvious things, and sometimes they involve tiny little gestures that you wouldn't even recognise as being part of a list unless you were specifically looking for them. However, the real issue here is that no girl is ever going to tell you what's in her personal instruction manual, because then she wouldn't be able to tell whether you were genuine or just following the steps. (We have a sort of auto-self-destruct mechanism for our instruction manuals - as soon as a guy actually reads it, we throw the whole thing out the window and make up a new list. Truly.)
So the real issue, in the end, is making sure that your actions are genuine. By all means, use a list for inspiration and a confidence boost. There are some things that should be included in any dating instruction manual (such as improving your personal hygiene and speaking clearly). However, for the other instructions, follow your own path. If you're not a funny guy, don't try to use humour to win a girl over - she'll recognise that you're trying too hard and will back away. If she asks you a question, give an honest answer, even if you think it may be the "wrong" one - though by all means, try to frame it in a good light. By being honest with her, she'll see that you are a genuine sort of guy, and that you are secure and confident enough not to hide your own personality and cover it with a fake one.
And smile!
I think there should be a note of caution here. Of course you shouldn't try to be someone else, like trying to be a crazy party guy in the center of attention when you're really a more introverted type who likes to strike up conversations on the sidelines. Not just girls, EVERYONE can tell that. And you'll feel terribly uncomfortable doing it. But I think all of us have different facets of our personality that we bring out in different situations, and that's where sometimes you need to work.
I am a firm believer in the fact that you have a lot of control over who you are- and who you are is how you present yourself to others. Do I present the same person to my friends as to my parents? Hell no. There are similarities, of course, but they are definitely not the same. And I present myself differently with girls too. It's partly a personal decision, partly just playing well with others and not going against their expectations.
I've been with my group of friends for a long time, and our dynamic is well established. But if I acted like that with a girl, I would sink my ship fast 99% of the time. I have a tendency to make (seemingly) off-the-cuff remarks and pop culture references that I know my friends will get. But do I know a girl I just met will understand an American Beauty or obscure Futurama reference? No- in fact, odds are stacked pretty high against it. So I won't make it, and just try to make another clever remark.
And the important point is this- that is NOT being "untrue" to yourself. It is EXPECTED. Only when you get to know someone better can you let your little oddities show and hope they will be endearing. But when you've just started talking? You'd get scared off too. So yes, you shouldn't try to act in a way that's unnatural to you- but you need to follow basic rules of social engagement too.
And that's one thing a lot of people that tend to be Magic players have a problem with. READ and UNDERSTAND social cues. I admit to being quite bad at it myself somtimes (especially when alcohol's involved...), but for God's sake try- like, REALLY TRY. Pay attention when you're talking to someone. Make eye contact, watch their facial expressions, read body language and tone and word choice and all that. It's bloody complicated, especially since girls have different cues than guys. But they are pretty much the only way to get a bead on their reaction to you.
I know ppl will flame on me for stereotyping again but let me just tell you this- the average girl doesn't want to know about what happend in futurama or how kenny was killed in south park, they want someone who is bold. i have found several varities of girls. here are some stereotypical generalizations of what girls like:
1. the cheerleader
this girl is usually pretty and thin. she is confident and mostly only interested with guys with muscles and cars and boldness. her pet peeves are all nerdy men. cartoons completely turn her away. how you slashed your friends tires completely interests her. rumors about her friends and bad opinions toward ppl also make her grade. as a stereotypical mtg player, you would not stand a chance with her.
2. the rejected
this is usually a very obese and plain girl. she is not very attractive and wears clothes out of places like GAP. she is usually a kind person at heart but she is very timid. she probably thinks that everyone is out of her league. to get to her, all one must do is give her a soft smile every once in a while. as you progress, have short conversations and go on from there. this girl will be perceptable to any guy. her pet peeves however may be talkative, bold guys who tend to frighten her off. anyone with a low profile will do for her. he is all she'll ever hope for. her hobbies may vary. most of them actually just like girl music and pretty things. some are tomboyish. as a mtg player, your chances with this girl are high.
c. the sadistic
this girl is very dark. she likes guys that get her. all she really wants is to be understood. she would like any dark guy. occassionally, these girls don't dress dark but simply feel a lot of bad things inside. a guy with compassion is best for this person. also, he could be slightly confident. the type of guys she doesn't like are the talkative, energetic ones who never let her speak. she herself however does not talk much. occassionally, you have to just sit with her in silence. she likes guys who look good. she will bond with anyone she finds common interests with. as a mtg player, your chances with her vary from person to person.
and those are the many types of girls. there're actually many more varieties but i have found these 3 most common. most of the people you know will fit into or between one of these categories.
I started playing magic only a few years ago when i just ogt out of high school. I learned to play while living in Turkey and had no idea what a "stereotypical mtg player" was. I just knew i like the game very much and i was pretty good at it, the people that taught me to play were all very much different in both appearence and backround and could hardly be put into a catagory of there own other than the common thread that they all like mtg.
When i got to the states and had reveiled to many of my long time american friends that i played mtg, the response was surprise, apparently in the states only the socially awkward/nerdy/band geek play mtg. When i lived in the states i never even heard of magic or hung out with anyone who played, so the sterotype was a complete suprise to me as well. I do not fit that sterotype nor do i belive many of the players on this thread. Your single point that does run some creedence is that someone who is socially awkward/nerdy/band geek that plays mtg will not have a chance with the hot cheerleader and neither would socially awkward/nerdy/band geek that didnt play mtg.
I agree, i usually leave out the fact that one of my hobbies is mtg when meeting new people as to not have them automatically peg me as that a-typical stereotype. thats not being untrue to who i am, mtg does not define me as a person. There is a time and place to act like a geek and doing it while hitting on someone is definetly not the time.
Thanks for the Sig and Avatar Fogatog @EPIC GRAPHICS
I'm pretty sure those are overgeneralization to the point of being utterly useless. I don't think know anyone who comes close to those. Not to mention it certainly doesn't reflect well on the female species... I wouldn't WANT to date any of those girls. Besides, I know girls who fit in the category but utterly defy what you describe (a couple actual cheerleaders, for example, who don't fit into a single thing you said... k except the pretty and thin part). Not to play internet psychologist, but I'm detecting a hint of bias based on what you identify yourself as. (just a hint)
In fact, not many people do fit into any category that's so exaggerative. Most people, surprisingly, do have redeeming qualities. You're violating the rule of stereotypes- yes, they exist and can apply. But they are generalizations. Just because someone fits into the category, you cannot apply the stereotype to that individual. That's when you start making mistakes (Not to delve further into my personal life, but suffice to say I don't consider myself a typical mtger... I don't even play the game much anymore outside a few fun drafts).
And it's bad advice to follow too. If I saw some pretty, thin, blonde girl, should I automatically assume she's a cheerleader and all those things you said about her are true? I don't think so. For all I know she could be a politics geek like me, and is quite possibly a very pleasant person. It's certainly happened a lot to me, even more if you expand to history, drama, languages, and other kinds of academic geeks.
I like to think I have good intuition about people. But even I know not to make judgements on people's characters from such easily misinterpreted signals as hobbies and clothing choice. You have to give people a chance- and that applies well beyond looking for a girlfriend.
You know, you are very close to becoming the next Green Arrow. And that would be awesome. Keep up comments like this. They are hilarious.
Ouch.
Damn. That is cruel. Hillarious.
Ouch. I'm glad I quit a while ago.
you know that has a double meaning right?
now begins the thousand years of REIGN OF BLOOD!
Although i agree with your post there is one thing; to complelty ignore your initial prejuduce of someone by the way the look, act, speak, or do is a bit naive. You can tell alot about a person just by watching them seeing what they wear who they hangout with and general observations. Overall generalization of groups of a whole should be left to broader terms but you cant fault generalizations that are true. In highschool clicks hangout with people of there own "type" right. well why is that, how can you define there "type". looking at them is the first and foremost and you can make a judgement of them off of that, it may not give you insight of there character as you say but it does give you signs to there behavior. Could you tell the difference between a thugged out gangsta or a preppy jock, yes. Can you identify differences in there behavior and assess what there character might be like, yes, even if inaccurate.
So in short if you go talking to a girl that looks like a preppy cheerleader dont be surprised when she is in fact a preppy cheerleader.
Thanks for the Sig and Avatar Fogatog @EPIC GRAPHICS
Very true.
In Brazil, the people who played MtG that i knew where the same people who went out at night to bars and clubs, played on the football team, had social lives, etc.
When I got here [in Canada], I was very surprised at the stereotypes. I mean, damn, I played football at school, so did my MtG friends, they went clubbing, etc, none of this 'MtG players are social outcasts' sort of thing that people say here.
Maybe it's the way the game is marketed here.
Very odd, i'd say.
On topic: Seriously, be yourself, and just chill. Dont know you, but, what I do know, as a 'nerd', is: Get out of the basement once in a while, go out, have some fun, don't do only nerdy stuff at school/college. Unless you're looking for a nerdy woman (nothing against that either, since my fiancee <-- proclaims herself a nerd. She isn't the stereotypical nerd-girl, as you can see).
Its too late and im too tired to even begin to say what is wrong with that entire statement, will someone else please!
And by the way I am a "hot" asian guy and I am as "buff" as an american football player... because i was one.
on topic: re-stating anything remotely close to what sentimentgx4 wrote probably wont win you any points with women.
Thanks for the Sig and Avatar Fogatog @EPIC GRAPHICS
So, basically, if you play sports and are intelligent, you own the school in the USA? Boy, I wish I had studied there
Unfortunately, soccer (futbol) doesn't count, how backwards is that. Just to chime in on the stereotypes issue, yes they are complete bs as are most stereotypes. The nerdness of the magic scene is always a running joke and all, but it is quite apparent that many types of people play this game (lawyers, soldiers, athletic types, and yes also nerds, on and on) and any woman that would hold it against you isn't worth your time no matter how desparate you may be. Of course my fiance loves to give me a hard time about my nerdish ways because it amuses her but it's all in fun. Nerdness can be the new cool. A good friend of mine once said of her husband (a brilliant techno DJ); "DJs are simply computer/sound nerds that became cool because of electronic musics popularity". Granted, magic may never be that cool, but it is interesting to interesting people.
PS: Aren't you missing Carnival right now Mr. C, my sincere condolences. A few of my Brazilian friends headed down for it this year for a month. Good times.
I don't think I fit the usual "Fantasy geek" stereotype, and neither do a lot of my Magic-playing friends. In fact, my cousin Daniel, who introduced me to the game some ten years ago, is one of the people I know with the most vibrant social lives (and he already was like that when he started playing).
Well, like most raves and night club parties, Carnival just isn't the same when you're not single, and apparently Mr. C isn't.
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it's hard to believe you lived in asia and do not agree with me at all. anyone who knows anything would see this as SUPER OBVIOUS. many asian schools don't even offer sports (unless you live in more westernized areas). the ones that do have none of the selection than the schools in the US. maybe you haven't applied that you were only hot for being a football player in the states.
back on topic, what i mean is you get more hot points in asia for being smart then for playing football. and to Mr. C, no your logic doesn't work. it only works in some twisted asian schools in the united states (i go to one). this is due to a confusing culture clash. (sigh...) if you're smart, sometimes ppl won't like you because they find you jealous and stuck-up over here.
So your a child right? im guessing your a kid soley on your posts to this thread, because everything youve wrote is seemingly from a childs perspective, someone who has yet to leave there hometown for any length of time and has only experienced foreign cultures from the safety of there living room. That is "SUPER OBVIOUS" and "anyone who knows anything" would agree.
Many japanese schools dont offer sports? many of the schools here not only have organized sports in school but also many youth fitness clubs, within 4 blocks of my house there are 3 fitness clubs/gyms many of which offer youth programs like baseball and soccer. And the physique of those who play are the same of an american who would play those sports. would a japanese girl choose those boys over the ones who play chess all day, perhaps.
What you stated was in no way or shape a "cultural factor". Everyone is attracted to a successful person, or an intelligent person in any culture, those are great attributes to have. Your trying to say that the whole of the japanese culture is attracted to the intelligent thin geek? because you believe that there is no other type of person here. Just like any where else in the world it all depends on the person.
What you need to understand is that stereotypes are based on the simplifcation of a particular group and is only beneficial when you havent had the experience around that group to form a better understanding of that culture. Stereotyping a group based on social norms isnt that bad of a thing when the majority of that group abids by those standards, its when you start to assume and catagorize a group of people based off of seemingly random ideals based off of american cultural tv, racism, ignorance and no real evidence to support it otherwise. To say all japanese people like rice is fine since alot of japanese eat rice as a staple in there diet. To say that Japanese would be considered nerdy by american standards is way off the mark and has no ground to stand on whats so ever. neither does saying that all japanes people are attracted to the intelligent.
Maybe when you growup youll finally understand.
Thanks for the Sig and Avatar Fogatog @EPIC GRAPHICS
If you are looking for a list of steps to follow to win over a girl, you're already putting the power out of your own hands and in whichever dating website you got the list from. You need to accept yourself and believe in yourself to truly become confident and desirable, you cant just push away the responsibility to dating sites or "But I'm a geek." These dating websites target your insecurities, so you must be wary of their advice.
However, these lists can sometimes be the catalysts towards confidence, through positive reinforcement after an encounter with a girl, but really it was just the fact that you thought you had a chance that gave you that confidence. So they're not all bad, but so long as you look directly at a list or blame a list for failures, you will not get anywhere.
There is no such thing as a friends zone and a sexy-time zone. Really. What there is however is a need to be interesting. And the simpering, oh-I'm-so-nice guy is NOT particularly interesting. He also isn't very flattering... it gives the impression of desperate and nobody wants a desperate partner - how terrible for their self-esteem!
That is not to say you need to be mean to girls to make them like you, as so many believe, especially after reading that ladder theory rubbish. No, you simply have to provide more than just niceness. If a girl can obtain that niceness through being friends with you, then she has no motivation to be more than friends with you, dig?
Lastly, though not all would agree with this, girls aren't much different than guys. They just pretend to be. Really.
Seriously, thank you for saying that.
But personally, i'm not much of a stereotypical mtg player. Usually it's only casual play in my house with a couple of my buddies. Sure we have hopes of the big leagues, and are making decks and going to gencon (it'd be my first big event,lol), but in all actuality ...
When I i go to a gaming store, i actually feel left out because i'm not as hardcore as them.
One word of advice, to all who really like to stay within your confinements, GO OUTSIDE OF THEM ! Just a couple days ago i met a really interesting woman who goes to parties and drinks and does drugs on occasion. Not that i support this, but i realize that this is a person that -really- knows how to let go and kick it sometimes.
Again, i don't support it, but i also realize that maybe, being one that has never been to a party before, it might be fun to tag along sometime.
And the interesting thing is, I didn't even try and meet her. One day i came home, got on msn, and she added me. She said that my ex (whom had cheated on me) was her friend, and she told her off for it.
Now, as to whoever said something about conflicting personalities ... Let me explain my position.
I'm kinda a introvert. I'm not really out there, wild and everything. I meet this girl, who is almost my exact opposite, and i'm strangely attracted, yet terrified of it. I've never done pot, never had a sip of alcohol, never had sex ... And this girl shows up who has done all of that.
Then she told me she's taking me to a party when my ankle gets better, as it's in a boot cast from getting surgery on it.
But i guess that just an example ... You really don't have to try and attract women. Sometimes they just fall into your lap.
EDIT: OH, and i have a gift for you guys.
1. Go to this site : http://mohawkradio.com/
2. Find the band "Blueprint76"
3. Get their song "Live for Today".
4. Listen to it and enjoy. Really, this song would be a really awesome party song, i would imagine Lol, use it as prep music or w/e. I this song.
Later, everyone And good luck to the person who was asking about woman advice. I Hope all these wise advisors are helping you
EDIT2: Oh, and about women who play magic. The last time i went to a prerelease i flirted with a woman that played. She seemed nice enough .... I spent the rest of the day with her, pretty much.
I was the same way, what with just kinda being withdrawn and everything. I used Magic as an escape from reality. Eventually, I realized that life didn't work that way, and so I backed off it some. Now, I use Magic just for kicks. I'm not a nerd, I'm not a jock, in fact, I fit no stereotypes so far discussed in this thread. I'm just a guy who likes playing cards every now and then.
As for my girlfriend, lets just say that if I was deeply religous, and believed in prayer, I'd pray to God every night, thanking Him. I'll leave it at that.
Radha, Heir to Keld, Vorel of the Hull Clade, Kemba, Kha Regent, Vela the Night-Clad, Kozilek, Butcher of Truth, Barrin, Master Wizard, Slobad, Goblin Tinkerer, Patron of the Orochi, Oloro, Ageless Ascetic, Thraximundar, Roon of the Hidden Realm, Prossh, Skyraider of Kher, Marath, Will of the Wild, Teneb, the Harvester
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Well, i'm hesitant, yet. Again, being how i am now, idk how comfortable i'd be around the drugs and stuff.
Heh, i'm beginning to think you're my twin, since you must think alot like me. I look at what you wrote and i feel like you're telling my life's story, man
Who knows know. I'll probably go just for kicks and see where it takes me.
I wish you luck with your new lady friend, and may you be as lucky as I have been.
Radha, Heir to Keld, Vorel of the Hull Clade, Kemba, Kha Regent, Vela the Night-Clad, Kozilek, Butcher of Truth, Barrin, Master Wizard, Slobad, Goblin Tinkerer, Patron of the Orochi, Oloro, Ageless Ascetic, Thraximundar, Roon of the Hidden Realm, Prossh, Skyraider of Kher, Marath, Will of the Wild, Teneb, the Harvester
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So in cliff notes version, Don't force conversation with her, and if she's not really paying attention to you (I.E. not looking directly at you/looking elsewhere. I was trying to find my mom but couldn't.) Back off, because you're just going to be a story for her to tell to her friends. Well, some of the time at least.
In reality, I suggest, be yourself, or even go a little bit past that. If you're the shy-I-like-corners type of person, build up your confidence enough to go strke up a coversation with her (or him as the case may be but this is a thread to find females). At anyrate...thats my poorly constructed 2 cents.
And Sentiment GX, watch the sterotypes, please. Not all girls who play MtG are nasty as you proclaimed on say page 4.
Credit for my sig banner goes to my friend Raptor. <3
However, I've got to say that DO NOT go to a party, get drunk off your ass, then hit on chicks. DOESN'T WORK. You'll just look the fool, trust me. I've had a friend do that and when it backfired, it was both comical and sad to watch. The woman just turned to him, said some stuff I couldn't hear, then decked him when he wouldn't leave her alone. After she walked off, I went and picked him up and drove him home. In the car, I asked what he was trying to do. He mumbled something, then said, "Man, I had no idea she was an ex-Marine..." To this day, I still have no idea what she said to him, but I wish I knew, cause it HAD to be funny.
Radha, Heir to Keld, Vorel of the Hull Clade, Kemba, Kha Regent, Vela the Night-Clad, Kozilek, Butcher of Truth, Barrin, Master Wizard, Slobad, Goblin Tinkerer, Patron of the Orochi, Oloro, Ageless Ascetic, Thraximundar, Roon of the Hidden Realm, Prossh, Skyraider of Kher, Marath, Will of the Wild, Teneb, the Harvester
If you did this, tell me and I'll credit you!
That's kind of what happened to me in high school. Except we both got each other to try new things, but she definitely was the extrovert who got me to come out of my shell.
My advice is, you're young, just have fun. If you really don't want to do pot or drink, don't- but don't think that just because other people want you to do it, you shouldn't because then you'll be caving to peer pressure. Especially for an introvert, a few drinks can help you loosen up, speak up, and have fun when you might hold yourself back. Just ask yourself... well, why not?
Opposites attract, by the way. Just watch out. A girl like that can break your heart.
Anyways, I was thinking about those stereotypes, and I really think that's the wrong way to go about it. And while this idea is stolen from Magic, I only made the connection AFTER I thought it out. Remember the player profiles (Timmy, Johnny and Spike)? You can kind of have that for why girls are going to date a guy. Keep in mind, these are much more fluid than a player profile, but still overall applicable. And of course, few girls fit categorically into one profile. There might be more types, but these are most common based on my experience, both with the few relationships I've had and the many I've observed of my close friends.
The Party Girl: Basically, she's dating to have fun. This sounds like Priest's girl. She wants someone to tag along with her, go to parties and let loose. Maybe they want someone to help them push their comfort zone, or maybe they want to push someone else out of theirs. They will often be more shallow relationships, but they will also be a blast (unless you bite off more than you can chew...). Just don't expect them to last long. The most physically demanding kind of girl (in pretty much every respect ;))
The Traditional: Although the actual reasons may vary, these tend to be the most stable and normal relationships. They want to go out on dates, do the romantic thing, and many of them want a guy as a source of intimacy and a bit of stability. The key is just to actually enjoy each others company and have personalities that play off each other well. The biggest demand on you will be time, and to a degree money. Still, for a long lasting, fulfilling relationship, this is the way to go.
The Disturbed: The kind of girl who has, to put it lightly, issues. They want to be in a relationship to validate themselves and raise their self esteem. They want a deep emotional connection and tend to have a bit of a dramatic streak (so do the partyers, but in a different way.) They can be clingy, but on the other hand, they do make you feel needed. Definitely the most emotionally draining type of girl. Unless you're ready for that, I would try to avoid if possible- this is speaking from direct experience here.
There, hopefully that's less controversial.