I totally laid into Mikey, and right now I really don't care.
He flips out if I stop talking for like, 5 minutes. Excuse me for not having anything to say. He never used to care, he understood that sometimes I liked not talking just as much as I do like talking. But what gets me is that he flips out at me for it, and then hardly says a word. Conversation is a two-way street, buddy, and you're not participating much either.
The big issue i have with him right now, and what I really laid into him about, is him coming up here next month. I'll ask occasionally if he's booked a flight to Milwaukee, just to keep myself and my mom up-to-date, and he'll say "no, not yet". Okay, that's fine. But he always adds on to the end "I'll get to it." in this really...nonchalant tone that says to me "I don't really give a **** if i make it up there or not next month".
if he doesn't want to see me, fine, all he has to do is say so. I'm sick with putting up with his bull****, and I finally just snapped. He's changed since summer. I still love him, but I'm starting to think I don't love the same Mikey anymore.
Keep in mind, I know I'm not the same as I was during summer. I'm not trying to say I'm perfect and he's not. But if he doesn't change something soon, to be a little more like the Mikey I used to know, I think I might leave him. I won't sit here and let him blame me for every goddamn thing.
I might be shy, but I don't let myself get pushed around--by anyone. He probably doesn't like that I'm being so defensive and aggressive towards him, but that's just too damn bad.
I am so frustrated right now. And I'm going to get myself a bowl of cereal. All this frustration has made me hungry.
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I know it seems that I don't care, but something in me does I swear.
[gaymers]
founder of the MTGS Forum Pirates
'tar/banner by R&Doom.
I totally laid into Mikey, and right now I really don't care.
He flips out if I stop talking for like, 5 minutes. Excuse me for not having anything to say. He never used to care, he understood that sometimes I liked not talking just as much as I do like talking. But what gets me is that he flips out at me for it, and then hardly says a word. Conversation is a two-way street, buddy, and you're not participating much either.
The big issue i have with him right now, and what I really laid into him about, is him coming up here next month. I'll ask occasionally if he's booked a flight to Milwaukee, just to keep myself and my mom up-to-date, and he'll say "no, not yet". Okay, that's fine. But he always adds on to the end "I'll get to it." in this really...nonchalant tone that says to me "I don't really give a **** if i make it up there or not next month".
if he doesn't want to see me, fine, all he has to do is say so. I'm sick with putting up with his bull****, and I finally just snapped. He's changed since summer. I still love him, but I'm starting to think I don't love the same Mikey anymore.
Keep in mind, I know I'm not the same as I was during summer. I'm not trying to say I'm perfect and he's not. But if he doesn't change something soon, to be a little more like the Mikey I used to know, I think I might leave him. I won't sit here and let him blame me for every goddamn thing.
I might be shy, but I don't let myself get pushed around--by anyone. He probably doesn't like that I'm being so defensive and aggressive towards him, but that's just too damn bad.
I am so frustrated right now. And I'm going to get myself a bowl of cereal. All this frustration has made me hungry.
Well you guys are "growing up" and that means you're changing. It's probably unfair for you both to expect this relationship to withstand college. I'm pretty optimistic but it doesn't mean I'm not also pragmatic. It sounds like you guys need to break up but in a way that allows you to still be friends. It doesn't sound like he has any interest in other girls but this feeling of being untethered and he's itching to do something about it. So if you're going to break up don't break up on a bad note. Be nice and feel relieved the entire time. Don't let him see how much it's hurting you inside. Explain to him that you feel like you guys have grown apart from each other and that's not terrible because it lets you both start exploring who you are apart from each other. But don't make the decision for him either. Let him have his say on how he thinks things are going at the moment and make sure the communication is there. Make sure that's really what he wants and then breaking up is for the best and a lot easier.
It shouldn't be hard to be friends after that. Sometimes things just run their course and both people know it and can see it but don't know if the other person can see it. Maybe you love Mikey but it's changed into this idealized version of him without his faults. Or perhaps he's developed more flaws in your eyes and you're lashing out at him instead of talking it over. The thing is, you're both allowed to change. If you didn't then you wouldn't be human. And part of a relationship is accepting those changes. And if you can't get past them then the relationship doesn't stand a chance. (that's where breaking up amicably comes in handy.)
So take a long look at the situation and figure out for yourself if you'd be happier separated romantically from him. (And you're shy but don't let that affect your decision. You can definately find someone else and so can he so it's not like it's the end of the world.)
Well...Mikey emailed back...and everything's straightened out. I don't think breaking up is the best solution right now...for the most part, i think it was all just a misunderstanding. The visiting thing was supposed to be a surprise. He was waiting for the price of the flight to go down and then he was gonna tell me on valentine's day and all this stuff...and I pointed out that he COULD have mentioned that he was waiting for the price to come down a bit, instead of pretty much blowing me off.
We seem to be okay now, though. It's just rough...we always have a week or two of fighting...it's the middle of our time apart, so we're kind of stressed about that, and other parts of life that stress us out get mixed in..we snap easier, and after a while everything calms down.
I have this uncanny knack for "ruining" things that I don't know are supposed to be a surprise. Like this morning, mikey was calling to leave a voicemail, and I answered the phone, thinking it was my alarm [the ringers for both are the same, haha]...and then he explained the whole trip up here to me, so that ruined that one too, haha. I suppose there's worse things i could be good at. [[shrugs]]
I only had one class today, so I have like, a 3.5 day weekend. No friday classes ROCKS. And I get taco bell tomorrow, with my friend Kyle! Yay!
in other news...anna nicole died, if you haven't heard. Last I read, they dunno how she died, she just collapsed in her hotel room, and they couldn't get her to come back. But it was kinda amusing how they said it on the radio.. "Anna Nicole died...and OMG WE HAVE GWEN STEFANI TICKETS!" haha.
off to do something else!
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I know it seems that I don't care, but something in me does I swear.
[gaymers]
founder of the MTGS Forum Pirates
'tar/banner by R&Doom.
I like Anna Nicole. I am really going to get annoyed with all the Anna bashing I can already tell. She's gone and there's nothing we can do about it I get that but she was only 39! That's so young! At least she wasn't wrestling crocodiles.
I think so. Gender studies sounds like it's probably the same thing. It could basically be called "feminism studies". Although, I suppose with gender studies, it wouldn't seem as weird for there to be a class about men and masculinity, which could of course be studied in a feminist manner.
I guess it'd be nice to see such a thing without the pronouncedly feminist bent.
I suppose the only real alternative would be a class studying gender in the context of queer theory, which probably wouldn't terribly different.
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All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to be the light that you see. All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to be the peace that you feel. All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to fill your heart on my own.
But the rainbow is an image of hope for many reasons, as it is a brilliant sight coming out of oftimes dismal weather.
Now, I'm not one to openly brag or use internet terms like 'pwned', but for real: pwned! Though I never thought I'd see the day I'd be defending Anna Nicole Smith's honor.
Funny how similar names can confuse people. Well, people who look at headlines and pretty pictures but are confuses by tiny letters, and difficult words like "lawyer" and "commitment".
It isn't that being a Lawyer is better than being a DJ, it is that the guy was talking down about her for being married to someone he had contempt for when she wasn't.
Now, I'm not one to openly brag or use internet terms like 'pwned', but for real: pwned! Though I never thought I'd see the day I'd be defending Anna Nicole Smith's honor.
I like Anna Nicole Smith. So good on ya. But really. Some people will take any opportunity to seem morally superior to someone else. I have a weird feeling about people like that (like they do it so they can convince themselves that they aren't going to hell.)
Newsflash, some people don't believe in hell or their god at all and basically they're just saying useless words at that point.
I still have no major, and Mikey *****ed at me for a while last night about going to the advising center here and blah blah blah.
I don't want to. Maybe if I just take a bunch of different gen ed classes, i'll find something i like.
yup. fighting, fighting, fighting.
i wish i had milk. I used the last of my half gallon the other day, and now i have to eat my cereal dry. I wanted milk with my cereal...the worst part is i can't even afford to get another half gallon of milk.
oh college, you silly *****.
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I know it seems that I don't care, but something in me does I swear.
[gaymers]
founder of the MTGS Forum Pirates
'tar/banner by R&Doom.
I still have no major, and Mikey *****ed at me for a while last night about going to the advising center here and blah blah blah.
I don't want to. Maybe if I just take a bunch of different gen ed classes, i'll find something i like.
I didn't have a major until the end of sophmore year. It's not a big deal. Just tell him to get off your back. His concern is sweet but he should kindly stick it up his ass and let you figure things out on your own timetable.
That's basically what I told anyone who got on my case about my lack of a major.
It's not Mikey that's getting on my case about it so much as me being frustrated with myself about it. He tries to help, I just get more frustrated and then that's when he *****es.
It frustrates me because all of my other friends from HS have a major they're working towards, and then there's me. I know I have time, but it just bothers me.
purples and blues have always been the colors that stain, in my experience..haha. red is borderline.
aaand yeah. i'm tired, and it's niiice and quiet here this weekend. woo!
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I know it seems that I don't care, but something in me does I swear.
[gaymers]
founder of the MTGS Forum Pirates
'tar/banner by R&Doom.
It frustrates me because all of my other friends from HS have a major they're working towards, and then there's me. I know I have time, but it just bothers me.
You shouldn't let it. It's not a big deal, certainly not one that requires (or is helped by) stressing out over it.
Looking at what others are doing is hardly a great way to assess your own life and what paths you should take. Especially since it's not a given that they're on the right track. Several people I went to school with had majors picked out before even applying for university. And now, five years later, they're all failures. None of them ended up in careers they chose back then and four years spent in a major they'll never use was a complete waste.
Hot Guy of the Indeterminate Time Period *Ahem* Week
Tonight I bring you a very large installment of Hot Guy of the Week, but it's one that's long overdue. That's right, it's the Men of Desperate Housewives Edition! So let's get to it.
First of all, I've barely seen the show so if you're expecting character explanations or inside jokes, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed. I will say, though, that what strikes me about the cast of DH is the wide variety of tastes that are satisfied. There's even non-Caucasions! *gasp* Which brings me to my first victim, Mr. Ricardo Chavira. Not my type, but I can see the appeal. He's very masculine, has striking eyes, and actually looks better with a goatee. And for 46, he's rather doable.
(If I don't spoiler these the post will be enormous and there's way too many to just attach)
As are the two other over-40 fellas on the show, James Denton and Doug Savant. Denton is undeniably hot, and though it appears Savant is less-than photogenic, on TV he's just adorable. Really!
Next we have acting veteran Kyle MacLachlan, who made his acting debut as the lead in the epic Dune and went on to work in acclaimed televison shows and films such as Twin Peaks and Sex and City and.... Showgirls.
And now we have some boys who are right up my alley. First, the "almost too pretty" Jesse Metcalfe, best known as the home-wrecking gardener.
If you're brave, here's a scandalous photo of Metcalfe in a hot tub with costar Marcia Cross:
Now to really set the Gaydar buzzing, we have Shawn Pyfrom, who plays Marcia Cross' disgruntled bisexual son. So very "boy next door", so very tasty.
And while I'm at it, why not toss in some pics of his lover on the show, Ryan Carnes, who has been in a couple gay flicks and has about a billion hot pictures online:
To top it off, there's a really sweet video montage of them on YouTube. You might want to check it out.
Rounding things off we have Mehcad Brooks, a tasty specimine if you're not in the mood for vanilla, but who appearently doesn't go whoring around shirtless in front of the cameras... much to my dismay:
And last but not least I must give mention to Nicollette Sheridan, whose groundbreaking role as the first transexual character in prime time television has opened doors for tolerance and diversity... eh? What's that? ...Oh.... *blushes* ... Sorry, folks. Nevermind....
That's it! I hope you've enjoyed this very special edition of Hot Guy of the Week.
We can just distract him with something sparkly and pink. Or, if that fails, a picture of a half naked man.
I'm not that gay O-o.
You guys are mean.
I wish Marcia Cross would just come out of the closet already. Psh.
(And I guess you're little distraction worked. I didn't say anything about gerg practicing the secret handshake with a bunch of his youthful companions all over the synogogue. And I didn't even see the play on words you could do with the word Purple and the member "PurpleD" and how he really is a ***** with stains making you pay for the dry cleaning even though it was completely his fault. Etc. Ooh! Pink glitter!...
Nice work Kraj! Ryan is hot, although he hasn't appeared since the end of Season 2. Upon looking him up on Wikipedia, he's apparently straight...
Meh, so what? It's not like I'd have any better chance of hooking up with a mildly famous, perfect 10 of a gorgeous boy like that if he was gay, so our relationship is pure fantasy anyway.
Meh, so what? It's not like I'd have any better chance of hooking up with a mildly famous, perfect 10 of a gorgeous boy like that if he was gay, so our relationship is pure fantasy anyway.
Fantasy relationships are great. Until they fantasy cheat on you with your fictitious friends that are hotter and cooler than you because they smoke. *shakes fists at no one*
Huh. It works fine for me. Well I've got plenty of room for attachments, so that outta fix it...
I couldn't see it either. Not nearly naked enough.
Believe me, I worked hard to find pics or video from an episode where he's at a swim meet in a Speedo.
Good episode to be sure. Don't watch the show much anymore though cuz it's getting overly complicated and womanly for my tastes. I have much better things to do like watch basketball and scratch myself. And spit.
He flips out if I stop talking for like, 5 minutes. Excuse me for not having anything to say. He never used to care, he understood that sometimes I liked not talking just as much as I do like talking. But what gets me is that he flips out at me for it, and then hardly says a word. Conversation is a two-way street, buddy, and you're not participating much either.
The big issue i have with him right now, and what I really laid into him about, is him coming up here next month. I'll ask occasionally if he's booked a flight to Milwaukee, just to keep myself and my mom up-to-date, and he'll say "no, not yet". Okay, that's fine. But he always adds on to the end "I'll get to it." in this really...nonchalant tone that says to me "I don't really give a **** if i make it up there or not next month".
if he doesn't want to see me, fine, all he has to do is say so. I'm sick with putting up with his bull****, and I finally just snapped. He's changed since summer. I still love him, but I'm starting to think I don't love the same Mikey anymore.
Keep in mind, I know I'm not the same as I was during summer. I'm not trying to say I'm perfect and he's not. But if he doesn't change something soon, to be a little more like the Mikey I used to know, I think I might leave him. I won't sit here and let him blame me for every goddamn thing.
I might be shy, but I don't let myself get pushed around--by anyone. He probably doesn't like that I'm being so defensive and aggressive towards him, but that's just too damn bad.
I am so frustrated right now. And I'm going to get myself a bowl of cereal. All this frustration has made me hungry.
I know it seems that I don't care,
but something in me does I swear.
[gaymers]
founder of the MTGS Forum Pirates
'tar/banner by R&Doom.
Well you guys are "growing up" and that means you're changing. It's probably unfair for you both to expect this relationship to withstand college. I'm pretty optimistic but it doesn't mean I'm not also pragmatic. It sounds like you guys need to break up but in a way that allows you to still be friends. It doesn't sound like he has any interest in other girls but this feeling of being untethered and he's itching to do something about it. So if you're going to break up don't break up on a bad note. Be nice and feel relieved the entire time. Don't let him see how much it's hurting you inside. Explain to him that you feel like you guys have grown apart from each other and that's not terrible because it lets you both start exploring who you are apart from each other. But don't make the decision for him either. Let him have his say on how he thinks things are going at the moment and make sure the communication is there. Make sure that's really what he wants and then breaking up is for the best and a lot easier.
It shouldn't be hard to be friends after that. Sometimes things just run their course and both people know it and can see it but don't know if the other person can see it. Maybe you love Mikey but it's changed into this idealized version of him without his faults. Or perhaps he's developed more flaws in your eyes and you're lashing out at him instead of talking it over. The thing is, you're both allowed to change. If you didn't then you wouldn't be human. And part of a relationship is accepting those changes. And if you can't get past them then the relationship doesn't stand a chance. (that's where breaking up amicably comes in handy.)
So take a long look at the situation and figure out for yourself if you'd be happier separated romantically from him. (And you're shy but don't let that affect your decision. You can definately find someone else and so can he so it's not like it's the end of the world.)
Or something.
We seem to be okay now, though. It's just rough...we always have a week or two of fighting...it's the middle of our time apart, so we're kind of stressed about that, and other parts of life that stress us out get mixed in..we snap easier, and after a while everything calms down.
I have this uncanny knack for "ruining" things that I don't know are supposed to be a surprise. Like this morning, mikey was calling to leave a voicemail, and I answered the phone, thinking it was my alarm [the ringers for both are the same, haha]...and then he explained the whole trip up here to me, so that ruined that one too, haha. I suppose there's worse things i could be good at. [[shrugs]]
I only had one class today, so I have like, a 3.5 day weekend. No friday classes ROCKS. And I get taco bell tomorrow, with my friend Kyle! Yay!
in other news...anna nicole died, if you haven't heard. Last I read, they dunno how she died, she just collapsed in her hotel room, and they couldn't get her to come back. But it was kinda amusing how they said it on the radio.. "Anna Nicole died...and OMG WE HAVE GWEN STEFANI TICKETS!" haha.
off to do something else!
I know it seems that I don't care,
but something in me does I swear.
[gaymers]
founder of the MTGS Forum Pirates
'tar/banner by R&Doom.
I suppose the only real alternative would be a class studying gender in the context of queer theory, which probably wouldn't terribly different.
All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to be the peace that you feel.
All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to fill your heart on my own.
Gaymers | Magic Coffeehouse | Little Jar of Mamelon | Natural 20
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
I like Anna Nicole Smith. So good on ya. But really. Some people will take any opportunity to seem morally superior to someone else. I have a weird feeling about people like that (like they do it so they can convince themselves that they aren't going to hell.)
Newsflash, some people don't believe in hell or their god at all and basically they're just saying useless words at that point.
Dude... do you realize how many dirty ways that can be interpreted? I mean, just wait until blue sees this... the place will be up for grabs.
Current New Favorite Person™: Mallory Archer
She knows why.
We can just distract him with something sparkly and pink. Or, if that fails, a picture of a half naked man.
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
I still have no major, and Mikey *****ed at me for a while last night about going to the advising center here and blah blah blah.
I don't want to. Maybe if I just take a bunch of different gen ed classes, i'll find something i like.
yup. fighting, fighting, fighting.
i wish i had milk. I used the last of my half gallon the other day, and now i have to eat my cereal dry. I wanted milk with my cereal...the worst part is i can't even afford to get another half gallon of milk.
oh college, you silly *****.
I know it seems that I don't care,
but something in me does I swear.
[gaymers]
founder of the MTGS Forum Pirates
'tar/banner by R&Doom.
I just so happen to be working on just the thing!
Current New Favorite Person™: Mallory Archer
She knows why.
I didn't have a major until the end of sophmore year. It's not a big deal. Just tell him to get off your back. His concern is sweet but he should kindly stick it up his ass and let you figure things out on your own timetable.
That's basically what I told anyone who got on my case about my lack of a major.
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
Believe me, I know.
It frustrates me because all of my other friends from HS have a major they're working towards, and then there's me. I know I have time, but it just bothers me.
purples and blues have always been the colors that stain, in my experience..haha. red is borderline.
aaand yeah. i'm tired, and it's niiice and quiet here this weekend. woo!
I know it seems that I don't care,
but something in me does I swear.
[gaymers]
founder of the MTGS Forum Pirates
'tar/banner by R&Doom.
You shouldn't let it. It's not a big deal, certainly not one that requires (or is helped by) stressing out over it.
Looking at what others are doing is hardly a great way to assess your own life and what paths you should take. Especially since it's not a given that they're on the right track. Several people I went to school with had majors picked out before even applying for university. And now, five years later, they're all failures. None of them ended up in careers they chose back then and four years spent in a major they'll never use was a complete waste.
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
Hot Guy of the Indeterminate Time Period *Ahem* Week
Tonight I bring you a very large installment of Hot Guy of the Week, but it's one that's long overdue. That's right, it's the Men of Desperate Housewives Edition! So let's get to it.
First of all, I've barely seen the show so if you're expecting character explanations or inside jokes, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed. I will say, though, that what strikes me about the cast of DH is the wide variety of tastes that are satisfied. There's even non-Caucasions! *gasp* Which brings me to my first victim, Mr. Ricardo Chavira. Not my type, but I can see the appeal. He's very masculine, has striking eyes, and actually looks better with a goatee. And for 46, he's rather doable.
(If I don't spoiler these the post will be enormous and there's way too many to just attach)
If you're brave, here's a scandalous photo of Metcalfe in a hot tub with costar Marcia Cross:
Now to really set the Gaydar buzzing, we have Shawn Pyfrom, who plays Marcia Cross' disgruntled bisexual son. So very "boy next door", so very tasty.
And while I'm at it, why not toss in some pics of his lover on the show, Ryan Carnes, who has been in a couple gay flicks and has about a billion hot pictures online:
To top it off, there's a really sweet video montage of them on YouTube. You might want to check it out.
Rounding things off we have Mehcad Brooks, a tasty specimine if you're not in the mood for vanilla, but who appearently doesn't go whoring around shirtless in front of the cameras... much to my dismay:
And last but not least I must give mention to Nicollette Sheridan, whose groundbreaking role as the first transexual character in prime time television has opened doors for tolerance and diversity... eh? What's that? ...Oh.... *blushes* ... Sorry, folks. Nevermind....
That's it! I hope you've enjoyed this very special edition of Hot Guy of the Week.
Current New Favorite Person™: Mallory Archer
She knows why.
KraJ: Don't forget to update the first post with the HGOTW Additions.
I'm not that gay O-o.
You guys are mean.
I wish Marcia Cross would just come out of the closet already. Psh.
(And I guess you're little distraction worked. I didn't say anything about gerg practicing the secret handshake with a bunch of his youthful companions all over the synogogue. And I didn't even see the play on words you could do with the word Purple and the member "PurpleD" and how he really is a ***** with stains making you pay for the dry cleaning even though it was completely his fault. Etc. Ooh! Pink glitter!...
Meh, so what? It's not like I'd have any better chance of hooking up with a mildly famous, perfect 10 of a gorgeous boy like that if he was gay, so our relationship is pure fantasy anyway.
Huh. It works fine for me. Well I've got plenty of room for attachments, so that outta fix it...
Who do you think you're fooling?!
Current New Favorite Person™: Mallory Archer
She knows why.
Fantasy relationships are great. Until they fantasy cheat on you with your fictitious friends that are hotter and cooler than you because they smoke. *shakes fists at no one*
I couldn't see it either. Not nearly naked enough.
I'm not that gay!
Believe me, I worked hard to find pics or video from an episode where he's at a swim meet in a Speedo.
Current New Favorite Person™: Mallory Archer
She knows why.
Good episode to be sure. Don't watch the show much anymore though cuz it's getting overly complicated and womanly for my tastes. I have much better things to do like watch basketball and scratch myself. And spit.
You're not fooling anyone, buddy.
We all know you swallow.
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains