I wanted some feedback on if I am out of line on something.
1) After his cards were stolen while in my possession, I told Doug I would give him my collection as compensation.
2) He was helping Jen move on Saturday and had asked me to have the cards ready for him when he showed up. I ran out of card boxes half way through packing and when he showed up I told him this. He was completely fine with me giving him the rest after I bought some more card bozes.
3) I left for work, leavig him to help Jen.
4) I get home and he has gone through all my drawers and taken the cards himself.
Whoa, that was copletely uncalled for, especially since you were doing the right thing about it anyway. Sorry, but Doug seems like a jerk for acting like this rather than wait a bit more to fulfill a friendly settlement.
Do you plan to do something about it? I think I wouldn't go very far with this, but I definitely wouldn't trust him in the future.
@Sakura: Yeah that's pretty heinous... I think he's in need of face smashing... tho light.
To be honest, I had a similar problem a few years back involving a computer I lent one of my friends as he was installing a new part onto it. When it was finished, he kept telling me he was going to get it to me so I waited... and waited... and waited. Waited two full weeks before going to his place while he was gone and having his brother let me in to get it. But there are underlying circumstances that change that whole thing.
Whoa, that was copletely uncalled for, especially since you were doing the right thing about it anyway. Sorry, but Doug seems like a jerk for acting like this rather than wait a bit more to fulfill a friendly settlement.
Do you plan to do something about it? I think I wouldn't go very far with this, but I definitely wouldn't trust him in the future.
Yeah I agree.
@sakura: You probably should talk to him about it if you can get a hold of him. I really hope you and him can get things straighten out and im sorry that your under so much tension at times but i just wanted to let you know we will all be here for you and yes including me. I also wish you very well in your transition completion and i just want you to be happy just like the rest of us in the house.
@crimson: oh yeah i remember you telling me about your computer story thats pretty horrible as well.
*hugs and blows kisses*
Love,
Cecilia
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I thank Mr. stuff for my banner and avatar.
I thank Sakura for the animation of my avatar.
"Miracles are only worth happening if you make them happen."
--Cecilia
Yoda of Legacy since 2006. Member of the 2005 and 2007 MTGS Magic Team. Also known as kevinliu2333. Current favorite Magic card is Time Elemental
That is a completely different situation Crims. It was your computer to begin with, he had it to install a part and then didn't return it for a long time.
Still. That boy doesn't need a talking to, he needs a slap upside the head. Even if the cards were rightfully his (and in my opinion they weren't, since at any point you could have decided to given him cash instead and that would be perfectly fair) that gave him no right to invade your privacy.
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The Golden Rule of forums: If you're going to be rude, be right. If you might be wrong, be polite.
Greetings, Coffeehouse.:) After wading through the clan threads, I think the legendary 'House suits my tastes.;) I'm having trouble typing one-handed since I've got my freshly-brewed baby boy Brandon in the other.:D Mind if I join the wonderful world o' Coffeehouse?:suckup:
Of course you can join us. You've beena joy to post with on other areas of the forums, and I'd be happy to see you here as well.
I can understand your approach, Yukora And may I add, that I greatly appreciate your still being a part of our humble group despite the fact that you are now a mod? Too often I see mods just appear in a thread to review the content and then leave.. I really really appreciate your willingness to participate, as you always have! Kudos to you, and Kraj is the same in that regard as well! Very proud to have two moderators in the 'House!
Oh, come on now. I'm not going to change who I am because I have a tag under my name. I enjoy this place, and I'm glad you guys put up with me :p.
Thanks everyone. I wanted to see if I was overeacting to this. Doug has otherwise been an amazing person in my life.
I confronted him on this and he is no longer a friend of mine. I would have accepted some sort of apology or something, but no. He had a fit over me asking you guys for support on this.
If it weren't for how amazing Jay and Elisha were I would just up and leave this town. There is nothing for me here.
Part of me wonders if Doug stole his own cards and not the computer tech or whoever. He was the only one who knew it was there. This is silly paranoia though.
And now, a special preview from set 1 of my next block. I need to confirm with Lilly on the name of the set, since they're both in the same world--mine comes before hers chronologically, so it's only proper I have the first set be named Soltera.
He might jump to :1mana::symw::symw:, but we'll see. Flavor text to come, as soon as Nai thinks of something (though it's not required)
Ethersphere, I need yer character I already have one confirmed from KoolKoal, but I have yet to design him.
@alacar - commisserations - hope you get over it soon
@Shaha - sorry for some raeson I thought you were from the UK - really easy to get practically any cooking ingredient you can think of here, and yes your right, 'Indian' food can be terribly complicated to make but some of the best are really simple - I will give you a recipe for some pickles and a banana dosa later on if you want
Today I am mainly making two-nut chocolate brownies as Shanna has decided to stay in bed all day as it is an extra off for her and she wants treated
Am finally at the end of this bloody NVQ tha tthe school forced onto us as a minimum standard what a waste of my flipping time - I hate my manager even more than usual now
Ugh, nuts. I'd love the non-nut brownies. And hooray for men pampering their loves!
You know, saccharine has been shown to cause cancer in rats...
Well, today I was supposed to be going to an agency-wide class on agency medication record procedure, which pissed me off for three reasons- 1) I just had the same damn class three months ago, and my supervisor keeps swearing I'm due again (explanation: we are required by state law to do this once yearly), 2) I have like, an eighth of a tank of gas left until I get paid on Wednesday, and I still have to take Mamelon to and from work and make it to work tomorrow, and having to drive there is just a waste of much needed gas, and 3) today is my day off, and the class would totally break my day up and make it feel rushed.
However, my supervisor called and admitted I was right about not needing the class (shock and amaze), and I don't have to go now, so I'm pretty pleased.
Last night, Mike (SapphireTri) and I were talking about possibly starting a Pokemon DP tournament among those of us who are playing in the 'House. Anyone interested?
I'm in for the tournament. I want rules, though. I DON'T want to see your Darkrei involved.
Not having internet sux monkey junk. I miss you all
I now officially have no Magic cards. Jen is now moved out and my home feels so lonely. The only blanket I have left is one our cat had been peeing on.
Managed to see Spiderman on Sunday and was awesome. Borrowed a friends Welder deck and played in Vintage on Sunday. Was actually a decent weekend overall.
Anyways, I really miss you guys.
Yeesh, I feel for you Sakura. I hope you get your stuff soon, and can't wait to see you back for good.
Greetings, Coffeehouse.:) After wading through the clan threads, I think the legendary 'House suits my tastes.;) I'm having trouble typing one-handed since I've got my freshly-brewed baby boy Brandon in the other.:D Mind if I join the wonderful world o' Coffeehouse?:suckup:
Welcome Shink! Glad to see another member in the 'House. And congrats on the boy!
I wanted some feedback on if I am out of line on something.
1) After his cards were stolen while in my possession, I told Doug I would give him my collection as compensation.
2) He was helping Jen move on Saturday and had asked me to have the cards ready for him when he showed up. I ran out of card boxes half way through packing and when he showed up I told him this. He was completely fine with me giving him the rest after I bought some more card bozes.
3) I left for work, leavig him to help Jen.
4) I get home and he has gone through all my drawers and taken the cards himself.
As far as I am concerned, he is a thief. He had no right to go through my personal belongings without permission. Had he asked, I would have said yes, but he just did it. If someone owes you $20 and you take it from their wallet, you are a thief.
I'd call him a thief, definitely. It wasn't his until you officially handed it to him.
@Sakura: Yeah that's pretty heinous... I think he's in need of face smashing... tho light.
To be honest, I had a similar problem a few years back involving a computer I lent one of my friends as he was installing a new part onto it. When it was finished, he kept telling me he was going to get it to me so I waited... and waited... and waited. Waited two full weeks before going to his place while he was gone and having his brother let me in to get it. But there are underlying circumstances that change that whole thing.
Ugh. That's never fun. I've had issues like that too. Glad you got your computer back in the end, though.
And now, a special preview from set 1 of my next block. I need to confirm with Lilly on the name of the set, since they're both in the same world--mine comes before hers chronologically, so it's only proper I have the first set be named Soltera.
He might jump to :1mana::symw::symw:, but we'll see. Flavor text to come, as soon as Nai thinks of something (though it's not required)
Ethersphere, I need yer character I already have one confirmed from KoolKoal, but I have yet to design him.
Awesome, alacar. And yeah, if I think of an appropriate quote that he's already made, I'll give it to you.
So I'm listening to BT (from the .hack soundtrack. LOVE the violin in that soundtrack) and checking up on my forums. Getting ready to dive into Civ 3 again. This is the first of the last two weeks of school. Biology... Blegh. Going to have to retake it, which I hate. I'm just too good at it, I just hate going. So I fail for bad attendance. At least I'm getting good grades in my other classes.
I'm in for the tournament. I want rules, though. I DON'T want to see your Darkrei involved.
Why, it's no worse than if someone had taken a starter and EV maxed it. Most of the new legendaries aren't any worse than a well raised regular one, it's just some of the old ubers that are particularly nasty.
@Sakura- So let me get this straight- you were giving your collection to a friend, but you hadn't put them all in boxes. He came over to get them, but you weren't done, and then you left. When you came back, he had taken the cards- the cards you would have already given to him if you had just had a few spare boxes. And now, because of this, he is somehow a thief and you just divorce him from your life?
Seriously, what the hell? Were you maybe not planning on giving him the cards after all or something? Because otherwise, when you say you are giving something to someone, then how can you get mad when they take them? I could understand if the issue were over the fact that he dug them out and invaded your privacy, but I don't see how he is at fault for taking cards that you yourself gave to him.
So I guess I have to be the one voice of dissent here and say that, no, I don't think he is a thief, I think you are just feeling annoyed and overreacting for God knows whatever reason.
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[16:23] Alacar Leoricar: maybe if you do it'll make the porn more meaningful
I think it was an invasion of privacy here. Yes, she was going to give him the cards. But she hadn't gotten them ready yet. He has no right to go digging through her things to find the cards.
Good evening! Just stopping in to check whats on people's minds today...Sorry to hear about your predicament sakura, it seems like to some people, material things are more important than friendships. I think the best approach is to talk to them about it when you're over the initial feelings of betrayal and concern. I think he could come around to see your position on things if you had just waited a bit until things cooled down - Lord knows I'da been p'o'd but I know a friend who is so supportive can also do bonehaeded things.
@Photon: Sounds like you are in a real tight situation and things are pushing and pulling at you, if you can just hang in there, be polite but firm...you know the drill. You've met more than your fair share of challenges this week and I'm glad to see that you have kept a cool head on your shoulders through it all. Being a caretaker in any way can be a very stressful and unforgiving matter. People around you sometimes forget that and instead focus on how cool it is to be a nurse or doctor or counselor and to hell with the responsibility it carries.
@ night shift: *tacks smiley note to coffeehouse corkboard*
I think it was an invasion of privacy here. Yes, she was going to give him the cards. But she hadn't gotten them ready yet. He has no right to go digging through her things to find the cards.
Well, I'm sorry, I think effectively axing someone from your life for what, getting into the MTG card drawer when you aren't home is more than a little extreme.
It was an invasion of privacy, but it was a drawer of cards, not a lockbox full of diaries, tampons, and financial records.
I don't know, I'm a fiercely private person, but I wouldn't be too terribly upset if someone helped themselves to some cards I would have given them anyway if not for the lack of a couple of old shoeboxes to put them in.
@Photon: Sounds like you are in a real tight situation and things are pushing and pulling at you, if you can just hang in there, be polite but firm...you know the drill. You've met more than your fair share of challenges this week and I'm glad to see that you have kept a cool head on your shoulders through it all. Being a caretaker in any way can be a very stressful and unforgiving matter. People around you sometimes forget that and instead focus on how cool it is to be a nurse or doctor or counselor and to hell with the responsibility it carries.
The thing about this that makes me chuckle is that in online communities, everyone sort of expects me to be this impatient, belligerent lunatic most of the time, but most of the time I'm very patient and laidback. I mean, I get smacked by grown men and women with the mental capacities of four year olds, change bedpans, and put up with the administration from hell for little to no benefit 40 to 60 hours a week, so you would be surprised at how well I've learned to keep my cool and stay rational and objective about things.
Yeah, you are right, it is one of the weirdest fields in the world. It is at the same time one of the least glamorous, but also one of the most lauded. I sometimes feel like the best way to sum up the entire professional arena is with the expression "Healthcare! You get treated like ****, but at least you can take some small comfort in the fact that your job has some social merit! Of course, that won't make up for the double shifts and the soul crushing bureaucracy..."
@Sakura- So let me get this straight- you were giving your collection to a friend, but you hadn't put them all in boxes. He came over to get them, but you weren't done, and then you left. When you came back, he had taken the cards- the cards you would have already given to him if you had just had a few spare boxes. And now, because of this, he is somehow a thief and you just divorce him from your life?
Seriously, what the hell? Were you maybe not planning on giving him the cards after all or something? Because otherwise, when you say you are giving something to someone, then how can you get mad when they take them? I could understand if the issue were over the fact that he dug them out and invaded your privacy, but I don't see how he is at fault for taking cards that you yourself gave to him.
So I guess I have to be the one voice of dissent here and say that, no, I don't think he is a thief, I think you are just feeling annoyed and overreacting for God knows whatever reason.
Well, I'm sorry, I think effectively axing someone from your life for what, getting into the MTG card drawer when you aren't home is more than a little extreme.
It was an invasion of privacy, but it was a cards, not a box full of diaries, tampons, and financial records.
I don't know, I'm a fiercely private person, but I wouldn't be too terribly upset if someone helped themselves to some cards I would have given them anyway if not for the lack of a couple of old shoeboxes to put them in.
I would not have Axed him as a friend had he apologized for it, instead he got defensive. He is the one actually ending the relationship to be honest.
I would not have Axed him as a friend had he apologized for it, instead he got defensive. He is the one actually ending the relationship to be honest.
It is your life, but I honestly just think you are letting a moment of squeamishness and pride ruin a friendship when it doesn't need to be that way it goes. Of course he got defensive. He did do something wrong, but he also was told he could have the cards.
But whatever, apparently you have friendships enough that you can terminate them as you see fit. I suppose I just wish I could enjoy that luxury.
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[16:23] Alacar Leoricar: maybe if you do it'll make the porn more meaningful
Sakura: I have to say that I think you are taking it a bit more personally than, at least, Doug intended. IMO, you should just point out to him how you two aren't close enough to each other to dig through drawers and try to stay friends. I seriously doubt he was trying to do anything but save time when he took the cards. I don't know him, but I think calling him a thief will at best confuse and hurt him.
It really sounds like a misunderstanding of what you would tolerate, especially when you say he's been a great guy in the past. Please don't bite his head off.
I'll be able to go on trillian again... soonish. I'm missing talking to people. I know I wanted to ask Alacar about card formating 3 times in the last hour...
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I'll bet you wish you had a non-unglued/unhinged card that shared your first name.
Last night, Mike (SapphireTri) and I were talking about possibly starting a Pokemon DP tournament among those of us who are playing in the 'House. Anyone interested?
Just to also confirm this We did discusse this and I feel It be a great success. Hell I can easly provide a special Pokemon with special ITEM as prize. Special Event Legens would be forbidden due to CERTAIN people hacking the system to have an entire party of legends to crush everyone.
I have yet to think up a solid set of rules as I am unsure what way we can do this. Feel free to chime in on ideas... On I guess this says I am fully back from being sick now:)
It is your life, but I honestly just think you are letting a moment of squeamishness and pride ruin a friendship when it doesn't need to be that way it goes. Of course he got defensive. He did do something wrong, but he also was told he could have the cards.
But whatever, apparently you have friendships enough that you can terminate them as you see fit. I suppose I just wish I could enjoy that luxury.
Sakura: I have to say that I think you are taking it a bit more personally than, at least, Doug intended. IMO, you should just point out to him how you two aren't close enough to each other to dig through drawers and try to stay friends. I seriously doubt he was trying to do anything but save time when he took the cards. I don't know him, but I think calling him a thief will at best confuse and hurt him.
It really sounds like a misunderstanding of what you would tolerate, especially when you say he's been a great guy in the past. Please don't bite his head off.
I'll be able to go on trillian again... soonish. I'm missing talking to people. I know I wanted to ask Alacar about card formating 3 times in the last hour...
I would be fine keeping him as a friend. He terminated our friendship over it. Rather than try and discuss it, he ended it. You guys are missing this point.
I think there is another issue here. He was Jen's friend before mine, he helped Jen move, and now suddenly choses not to be friends with me.
Just to also confirm this We did discusse this and I feel It be a great success. Hell I can easly provide a special Pokemon with special ITEM as prize. Special Event Legens would be forbidden due to CERTAIN people hacking the system to have an entire party of legends to crush everyone.
I have yet to think up a solid set of rules as I am unsure what way we can do this. Feel free to chime in on ideas... On I guess this says I am fully back from being sick now:)
I think the fear of legendaries is a little unfounded- and I don't even like most legendaries. However, come on, Uxie is seriously not gonna swing the balance of power that much.
As I have been raising Darkrai, I have found he is powerful, but no more so than a starter. Keep in mind, I'm not gonna fight tooth and nail to use him, I'm just saying that I know many people are using legendaries that they just caught or traded, and they aren't that bad. Meanwhile, I know some people who are using some Pokemon that are not by nature dangerous, but are just crazy powerful due to EV maxing. An EV maxed Lucario, for example, is much more of a threat than say, Shayman or Celebi.
But, it would need to be an even playing field. The problem is, if you do it by level, that doesn't mean a lot. A Level 50 Alakazam with max EVs is much more of a threat than a freshly caught Dialga, and even two Pokemon of the same species on the same level can be two completely different beasts. Between stat raising, breeding tricks, held items, and access to rare TMs, there is just no way to mitigate power level based specifically on a single qualifying factor such as level or area of origin.
I think the best way to do it would be to allow powerful pokemon, but require that they be at least a certain level- between 70 and 100, but otherwise with no restrictions. It would be better to outline the rules by what can be done, rather than by what can't be used, in my opinion. It isn't like MTG, where a single card will generally always have the same power level in any given format.
Rather than try and discuss it, he ended it. You guys are missing this point.
You're the sort of person who asks for feedback and advice but then already knows exactly how they feel about the situation ahead of time, aren't you?
At any rate, it sounds as if it isn't a great loss for you, so I suppose that's good.
I wanted feedback to know if my feeling on the subjects were possibly out of line. If I was alone in thinking this way about his actions.
Right, and KK and I think they are out of line. If you were really wanting to know, you would have been open to our ideas, rather than just shooting us down with a "You guys are missing the point."
Because clearly, you already felt as if, regardless of what anyone had to say, that your reactions were appropriate, or else you wouldn't have A) gone ahead with your actions so decisively, and B) been so quick to dismiss anyone suggesting otherwise.
But again, it is your life and your decision, and thus your prerogative to choose how you act. I just don't see why you bothered asking for "feedback" since you clearly already had your mind made up. Unless, of course, you stated you were looking for feedback but were really just looking for commiseration, to which you would also be entitled.
To clarify, I don't mean to sound like I am busting your chops, but you DID ask for feedback, and that is exactly what we gave you. I personally think it is rash to react that way, but I'm also a different person with different ideas about personal space and different notions of what is worth ending a relationship over. I just think that if someone is a good enough friend to give hundreds (if not thousands, I don't know if you play Vintage or not) of dollars worth of Magic cards to, then they would probably be someone worth keeping in your life. Not all people have the same levels of attachment, or even have the same ideas of what friendship is, though, so clearly it is just a matter of us not seeing eye to eye on how we would handle situations such as this.
I meant you were missing the point that the situation is over, and not by my choice. I was willing to discuss this with Doug, he wasn't.
He was Jen's friend first, and while acting as one of my closest friends for so long...apparantly really wasn't. The day she moves out he chose take back things that were his (talking to him today I found out he took back a box of comic books he had lent me as well, didn't realize until he told me today) He had a spare key for emergencies, and threw them on my desk today.
I meant you were missing the point that the situation is over, and not by my choice. I was willing to discuss this with Doug, he wasn't.
He was Jen's friend first, and while acting as one of my closest friends for so long...apparantly really wasn't. The day she moves out he chose take back things that were his (talking to him today I found out he took back a box of comic books he had lent me as well, didn't realize until he told me today) He had a spare key for emergencies, and threw them on my desk today.
Okay, but most of this is information that wasn't shared when you described the initial situation. All we got was "he wouldn't apologize, so it's over", which speaks more of pride on your part than of anything else.
So if a point was missed, it's because it fell of the truck on the way here along with the rest of the details.
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[16:23] Alacar Leoricar: maybe if you do it'll make the porn more meaningful
Thanks everyone. I wanted to see if I was overeacting to this. Doug has otherwise been an amazing person in my life.
I confronted him on this and he is no longer a friend of mine. I would have accepted some sort of apology or something, but no. He had a fit over me asking you guys for support on this.
If it weren't for how amazing Jay and Elisha were I would just up and leave this town. There is nothing for me here.
Part of me wonders if Doug stole his own cards and not the computer tech or whoever. He was the only one who knew it was there. This is silly paranoia though.
Wait, wait, woah.
You axed a friend that you say has been a great guy for taking what you intended to give him?
I may be out of line here, but if he's such an amazing guy, maybe he was just trying to give you a hand, and save you a few bucks on card boxes.
How is that so bad? Yes, he went over the line with it, but I can't help but think your reaction was way over the top. I can also understand why he'd be angry over you putting the situation on the internet. Some people just don't like having their personal quarrels posted for the entire world to see.
Instead of giving the situation some time, and calmly discussing things with Doug, you completely end a friendship over something so trivial.
I'm sorry Sakura, but I think you went over the line.
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Do you plan to do something about it? I think I wouldn't go very far with this, but I definitely wouldn't trust him in the future.
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To be honest, I had a similar problem a few years back involving a computer I lent one of my friends as he was installing a new part onto it. When it was finished, he kept telling me he was going to get it to me so I waited... and waited... and waited. Waited two full weeks before going to his place while he was gone and having his brother let me in to get it. But there are underlying circumstances that change that whole thing.
Yeah I agree.
@sakura: You probably should talk to him about it if you can get a hold of him. I really hope you and him can get things straighten out and im sorry that your under so much tension at times but i just wanted to let you know we will all be here for you and yes including me. I also wish you very well in your transition completion and i just want you to be happy just like the rest of us in the house.
@crimson: oh yeah i remember you telling me about your computer story thats pretty horrible as well.
*hugs and blows kisses*
Love,
Cecilia
I thank Mr. stuff for my banner and avatar.
I thank Sakura for the animation of my avatar.
"Miracles are only worth happening if you make them happen."
--Cecilia
Yoda of Legacy since 2006.
Member of the 2005 and 2007 MTGS Magic Team.
Also known as kevinliu2333.
Current favorite Magic card is Time Elemental
Current New Favorite Person™: Mallory Archer
She knows why.
Oh, come on now. I'm not going to change who I am because I have a tag under my name. I enjoy this place, and I'm glad you guys put up with me :p.
I confronted him on this and he is no longer a friend of mine. I would have accepted some sort of apology or something, but no. He had a fit over me asking you guys for support on this.
If it weren't for how amazing Jay and Elisha were I would just up and leave this town. There is nothing for me here.
Part of me wonders if Doug stole his own cards and not the computer tech or whoever. He was the only one who knew it was there. This is silly paranoia though.
He might jump to :1mana::symw::symw:, but we'll see. Flavor text to come, as soon as Nai thinks of something (though it's not required)
Ethersphere, I need yer character
Like freeform roleplaying? Try Darkness Befalls Us
Ryttare Kelasin Luna Orelinalei
Ugh, nuts. I'd love the non-nut brownies. And hooray for men pampering their loves!
Try to put more content in your posts, please. No one wants a warning for spam, eh?
I'm in for the tournament. I want rules, though. I DON'T want to see your Darkrei involved.
Oh yeah, we're really friendly. So you're Finnish? I have to ask: Like Nightwish?
Yeesh, I feel for you Sakura. I hope you get your stuff soon, and can't wait to see you back for good.
Welcome Shink! Glad to see another member in the 'House. And congrats on the boy!
I'd call him a thief, definitely. It wasn't his until you officially handed it to him.
Ugh. That's never fun. I've had issues like that too. Glad you got your computer back in the end, though.
Awesome, alacar. And yeah, if I think of an appropriate quote that he's already made, I'll give it to you.
So I'm listening to BT (from the .hack soundtrack. LOVE the violin in that soundtrack) and checking up on my forums. Getting ready to dive into Civ 3 again. This is the first of the last two weeks of school. Biology... Blegh. Going to have to retake it, which I hate. I'm just too good at it, I just hate going. So I fail for bad attendance. At least I'm getting good grades in my other classes.
My helpdesk should you need me.
Why, it's no worse than if someone had taken a starter and EV maxed it. Most of the new legendaries aren't any worse than a well raised regular one, it's just some of the old ubers that are particularly nasty.
@Sakura- So let me get this straight- you were giving your collection to a friend, but you hadn't put them all in boxes. He came over to get them, but you weren't done, and then you left. When you came back, he had taken the cards- the cards you would have already given to him if you had just had a few spare boxes. And now, because of this, he is somehow a thief and you just divorce him from your life?
Seriously, what the hell? Were you maybe not planning on giving him the cards after all or something? Because otherwise, when you say you are giving something to someone, then how can you get mad when they take them? I could understand if the issue were over the fact that he dug them out and invaded your privacy, but I don't see how he is at fault for taking cards that you yourself gave to him.
So I guess I have to be the one voice of dissent here and say that, no, I don't think he is a thief, I think you are just feeling annoyed and overreacting for God knows whatever reason.
My helpdesk should you need me.
I just spent the weekend with my friend. It was fun, relaxing, and all around enjoyaboe. I see a few pages that I'm going to go back and read.
I'm in good spirits after such a great weekend.
@Photon: Sounds like you are in a real tight situation and things are pushing and pulling at you, if you can just hang in there, be polite but firm...you know the drill. You've met more than your fair share of challenges this week and I'm glad to see that you have kept a cool head on your shoulders through it all. Being a caretaker in any way can be a very stressful and unforgiving matter. People around you sometimes forget that and instead focus on how cool it is to be a nurse or doctor or counselor and to hell with the responsibility it carries.
@ night shift: *tacks smiley note to coffeehouse corkboard*
Well, I'm sorry, I think effectively axing someone from your life for what, getting into the MTG card drawer when you aren't home is more than a little extreme.
It was an invasion of privacy, but it was a drawer of cards, not a lockbox full of diaries, tampons, and financial records.
I don't know, I'm a fiercely private person, but I wouldn't be too terribly upset if someone helped themselves to some cards I would have given them anyway if not for the lack of a couple of old shoeboxes to put them in.
The thing about this that makes me chuckle is that in online communities, everyone sort of expects me to be this impatient, belligerent lunatic most of the time, but most of the time I'm very patient and laidback. I mean, I get smacked by grown men and women with the mental capacities of four year olds, change bedpans, and put up with the administration from hell for little to no benefit 40 to 60 hours a week, so you would be surprised at how well I've learned to keep my cool and stay rational and objective about things.
Yeah, you are right, it is one of the weirdest fields in the world. It is at the same time one of the least glamorous, but also one of the most lauded. I sometimes feel like the best way to sum up the entire professional arena is with the expression "Healthcare! You get treated like ****, but at least you can take some small comfort in the fact that your job has some social merit! Of course, that won't make up for the double shifts and the soul crushing bureaucracy..."
It is completely about an invasion of privacy.
I would not have Axed him as a friend had he apologized for it, instead he got defensive. He is the one actually ending the relationship to be honest.
It is your life, but I honestly just think you are letting a moment of squeamishness and pride ruin a friendship when it doesn't need to be that way it goes. Of course he got defensive. He did do something wrong, but he also was told he could have the cards.
But whatever, apparently you have friendships enough that you can terminate them as you see fit. I suppose I just wish I could enjoy that luxury.
It really sounds like a misunderstanding of what you would tolerate, especially when you say he's been a great guy in the past. Please don't bite his head off.
I'll be able to go on trillian again... soonish. I'm missing talking to people. I know I wanted to ask Alacar about card formating 3 times in the last hour...
Just to also confirm this We did discusse this and I feel It be a great success. Hell I can easly provide a special Pokemon with special ITEM as prize. Special Event Legens would be forbidden due to CERTAIN people hacking the system to have an entire party of legends to crush everyone.
I have yet to think up a solid set of rules as I am unsure what way we can do this. Feel free to chime in on ideas... On I guess this says I am fully back from being sick now:)
I would be fine keeping him as a friend. He terminated our friendship over it. Rather than try and discuss it, he ended it. You guys are missing this point.
I think there is another issue here. He was Jen's friend before mine, he helped Jen move, and now suddenly choses not to be friends with me.
I think the fear of legendaries is a little unfounded- and I don't even like most legendaries. However, come on, Uxie is seriously not gonna swing the balance of power that much.
As I have been raising Darkrai, I have found he is powerful, but no more so than a starter. Keep in mind, I'm not gonna fight tooth and nail to use him, I'm just saying that I know many people are using legendaries that they just caught or traded, and they aren't that bad. Meanwhile, I know some people who are using some Pokemon that are not by nature dangerous, but are just crazy powerful due to EV maxing. An EV maxed Lucario, for example, is much more of a threat than say, Shayman or Celebi.
But, it would need to be an even playing field. The problem is, if you do it by level, that doesn't mean a lot. A Level 50 Alakazam with max EVs is much more of a threat than a freshly caught Dialga, and even two Pokemon of the same species on the same level can be two completely different beasts. Between stat raising, breeding tricks, held items, and access to rare TMs, there is just no way to mitigate power level based specifically on a single qualifying factor such as level or area of origin.
I think the best way to do it would be to allow powerful pokemon, but require that they be at least a certain level- between 70 and 100, but otherwise with no restrictions. It would be better to outline the rules by what can be done, rather than by what can't be used, in my opinion. It isn't like MTG, where a single card will generally always have the same power level in any given format.
You're the sort of person who asks for feedback and advice but then already knows exactly how they feel about the situation ahead of time, aren't you?
At any rate, it sounds as if it isn't a great loss for you, so I suppose that's good.
Right, and KK and I think they are out of line. If you were really wanting to know, you would have been open to our ideas, rather than just shooting us down with a "You guys are missing the point."
Because clearly, you already felt as if, regardless of what anyone had to say, that your reactions were appropriate, or else you wouldn't have A) gone ahead with your actions so decisively, and B) been so quick to dismiss anyone suggesting otherwise.
But again, it is your life and your decision, and thus your prerogative to choose how you act. I just don't see why you bothered asking for "feedback" since you clearly already had your mind made up. Unless, of course, you stated you were looking for feedback but were really just looking for commiseration, to which you would also be entitled.
To clarify, I don't mean to sound like I am busting your chops, but you DID ask for feedback, and that is exactly what we gave you. I personally think it is rash to react that way, but I'm also a different person with different ideas about personal space and different notions of what is worth ending a relationship over. I just think that if someone is a good enough friend to give hundreds (if not thousands, I don't know if you play Vintage or not) of dollars worth of Magic cards to, then they would probably be someone worth keeping in your life. Not all people have the same levels of attachment, or even have the same ideas of what friendship is, though, so clearly it is just a matter of us not seeing eye to eye on how we would handle situations such as this.
He was Jen's friend first, and while acting as one of my closest friends for so long...apparantly really wasn't. The day she moves out he chose take back things that were his (talking to him today I found out he took back a box of comic books he had lent me as well, didn't realize until he told me today) He had a spare key for emergencies, and threw them on my desk today.
Okay, but most of this is information that wasn't shared when you described the initial situation. All we got was "he wouldn't apologize, so it's over", which speaks more of pride on your part than of anything else.
So if a point was missed, it's because it fell of the truck on the way here along with the rest of the details.
You axed a friend that you say has been a great guy for taking what you intended to give him?
I may be out of line here, but if he's such an amazing guy, maybe he was just trying to give you a hand, and save you a few bucks on card boxes.
How is that so bad? Yes, he went over the line with it, but I can't help but think your reaction was way over the top. I can also understand why he'd be angry over you putting the situation on the internet. Some people just don't like having their personal quarrels posted for the entire world to see.
Instead of giving the situation some time, and calmly discussing things with Doug, you completely end a friendship over something so trivial.
I'm sorry Sakura, but I think you went over the line.