I've never liked how often gay men seem to classify themselves as top and bottom like it's part of their identity. Wouldn't it be better to be both, depending on situation?
Sometimes it just seems to be a gay men specific form of the sexual politics that occurs between straight men and straight women. Seeking to identify specific people as bottoms seems really . . . predatory.
As I understand it, changing top/bottom preferences would be about as difficult as changing someone's sexual orientation. There may well be gay men who don't mind being either top or bottom to accommodate their partner's preferences, but I'd bet you'll find far more who just don't perform well outside what they prefer. You wouldn't ask a top to act like a bottom any more than you'd ask a straight man to be gay, would you?
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I've never liked how often gay men seem to classify themselves as top and bottom like it's part of their identity. Wouldn't it be better to be both, depending on situation?
Sure, if you liked both. But many out there prefer one to the other (which Annorax hit upon), so it is a part of their sexual identity as much as any other sexual preferences are. I wouldn't say being a top is a significant part of my overall identity (since I consider my sexuality itself to be a rather slight piece of the pie), but in terms of my sexual identity, it's a mammoth aspect.
I think gay men only use that preference as a means of classifying because it greatly affects choices in partners. Tops and bottoms generally seek out their complement, so in a lot of ways, identifying as one or the other speeds up the process of finding what you're looking for.
Sometimes it just seems to be a gay men specific form of the sexual politics that occurs between straight men and straight women. Seeking to identify specific people as bottoms seems really . . . predatory.
Well that's because it is, on both counts, actually.
Sexual politics are a fact of human nature. I think it's naive to think that non-heterosexuals would be exempt from that. Establishing dominance, control, being the hunter. These desires are ingrained in our psyches, from both real evolutionary processes and constructed sociological gender roles over the course of human history. Homosexuality only puts a new spin on the old behaviours.
Quote from Annorax »
As I understand it, changing top/bottom preferences would be about as difficult as changing someone's sexual orientation. There may well be gay men who don't mind being either top or bottom to accommodate their partner's preferences, but I'd bet you'll find far more who just don't perform well outside what they prefer. You wouldn't ask a top to act like a bottom any more than you'd ask a straight man to be gay, would you?
In my experience, top/bottom preferences are about as fluid as sexual orientation tends to be. Some prefer one or the other, others have a strong preference for one but dabble in the other and there are some who enjoy both.
Uh...hallo; I haven't been here for a while, but I have been reading.:muh:
Quote from Mamelon »
I've never liked how often gay men seem to classify themselves as top and bottom like it's part of their identity. Wouldn't it be better to be both, depending on situation?
Isn't that quite like gay people classifying themselves as subs and doms, then?
I really don't see why men, G/B or not, should consider themselves to be
tops or bottoms; identity, it's what you make of it, and I don't see why it is the case that some men see themselves, or, rather, are seen as tops or bottoms.
Then again, I can't really relate to this issue, from experience; no surprise, I guess, that I don't understand this.
Although, I find it cute when two people of the same gender...make out. Somewhat perverted? Yes, I am...
Wait, no; I don't really find it cute, nor am I repulsed by that.:p
Anyhow, I must say, the American/Canadian television series Queer as Folk, which some of you may be familiar with, for you might have access to the television, is quite a show. I do not quite understand the dynamics of the characters.:( I wish I knew.
Oh, I'm appalled at how gay people are described in that show; it appears that gays are, to quote, "in the dark", "do unjust to God", and are awfully promiscuous and uncondignly peripheral. Well, maybe that is the case - only for a minority.
If events are depicted somewhat correctly, I have slightly more insight about the LGBT community. If any of you can inform me, please do. Thanks.
Quote from {mikeyG} »
Sure, if you liked both. But many out there prefer one to the other (which Annorax hit upon), so it is a part of their sexual identity as much as any other sexual preferences are. I wouldn't say being a top is a significant part of my overall identity (since I consider my sexuality itself to be a rather slight piece of the pie), but in terms of my sexual identity, it's a mammoth aspect.
Isn't that quite like gay people classifying themselves as subs and doms, then?
Not necessarily. That's a common misconception, though. A bottom is no more a submissive than a woman is in a straight pairing. They might be, but the two don't go hand in hand.
Anyhow, I must say, the American/Canadian television series Queer as Folk, which some of you may be familiar with, for you might have access to the television, is quite a show. I do not quite understand the dynamics of the characters.:( I wish I knew.
Ahhh, QAF. My beloved guilty pleasure. But only for seasons 3-5, the early stuff was crap. The later stuff wasn't much better, but I had a lot of love for the cinematography (and no, that's not a euphemism),
Oh, I'm appalled at how gay people are described in that show; it appears that gays are, to quote, "in the dark", "do unjust to God", and are awfully promiscuous and uncondignly peripheral. Well, maybe that is the case - only for a minority.
Yeah the show doesn't really paint an all-inclusive view of gay people. The characters and situations are all over the top takes on real stereotypes.
If events are depicted somewhat correctly, I have slightly more insight about the LGBT community. If any of you can inform me, please do. Thanks.
QAF offers true insight into the LGBT community as Scrubs does into life in a hospital. Not very. There are nuggets of reality in there, but the show is still an unrealistic soap opera with copious amounts of hot gay sex thrown in. It's about as reliable a source on reality as a newspaper horoscope.
And so help me Bob, I will murder each and every one of you with strange, big, purple, whirring objects if anyone tells someone else I'm in fact capable of missing someone. I want people to believe I had my feelings surgically removed at the age of two.
You, too?
Good! Now it isn't really spam anymore
Even if it were... Don't believe the mods ever show up here
Oh, they do, but Erasmus and I cut deals with them in the mod cave to cut us extra slack.
Damn, I don't think I'm supposed to tell you guys that.
Alright, sorry for the sabbatical (again) but I really havent been around the site very much. I've got some cool news, but it can wait.
As for the topic at hand, I'm going to summarize it; In Sex, no matter straight, gay or anything in between, people have preferences. some people's preferences are very prominent, others are simply a slight preference. Those who are steadfast will only accept it one way, while others may be a bit more accommodating (just to get some)
And Jake is clearly a bottom. There's no way he could be a top unless he's with a tiny but hot piece
Anyways, ont my news; PurpleD is no longer single! Not to get your hopes up, but I am in fact dating a girl and she's awesome. I'll spare you the details, but I just thought I'd let y'all know.
Other than that, not a whole lot going on in my life. You know, school, work and the occasional game of strip madden (fun game!).
Anyways, ont my news; PurpleD is no longer single! Not to get your hopes up, but I am in fact dating a girl and she's awesome. I'll spare you the details, but I just thought I'd let y'all know.
Welcome back, and congrats. The number of single people I know dwindles ever smaller ....
And I kind of hate you for putting the words 'strip' and 'Madden' together in my head. It's leading to disgusting images of John Madden.
And I kind of hate you for putting the words 'strip' and 'Madden' together in my head. It's leading to disgusting images of John Madden.
Hmmm.... top or bottom?
Oh, and speaking of stripping games, some people hate them and some people love them. So, I ask a question of the gaymers: Lights on or lights off?
Personally I'm a lights off person. I'm skinny and I have a gross scar, but aside from that I think it's just a lot more sensual if you have to feel rather than it just being kind of "out there". Lights on makes it feel like a porno IMO, but then again, some people are into that kind of thing. hey, whatever floats your boat
Oh dearie...um, guys and gals, would you be able to help expand your overclan wiki entry, please? It's here.
Also, {mikeyG}, and Erasmus, care to share more about yourselves? Pwease?
Anyhow, I guess I'll be spending quite a bit of time fixing up stuff hither and thither.:(
Quote from {mikeyG} »
Not necessarily. That's a common misconception, though. A bottom is no more a submissive than a woman is in a straight pairing. They might be, but the two don't go hand in hand.
Well, I suppose that may be the case for many couples...
Ahhh, QAF. My beloved guilty pleasure. But only for seasons 3-5, the early stuff was crap. The later stuff wasn't much better, but I had a lot of love for the cinematography (and no, that's not a euphemism),
Oh, okay then. From what I've seen of QaF, I can't say I enjoy it, nor can I say that I absolutely loathe the entire series with a passion; I can only say that I am intrigued by those two or so episodes that I've seen.
Yeah the show doesn't really paint an all-inclusive view of gay people. The characters and situations are all over the top takes on real stereotypes.
Indeed! It's not as though every gay person has no occupation other than a bodybuilder; nor is it true that every single gay person goes to (rave) clubs and seeks out the company of another man/woman, so as to seek a good night.
QAF offers true insight into the LGBT community as Scrubs does into life in a hospital. Not very. There are nuggets of reality in there, but the show is still an unrealistic soap opera with copious amounts of hot gay sex thrown in. It's about as reliable a source on reality as a newspaper horoscope.
So, this matches my thoughts prior to confirmation exactly.
Thanks Mikey, again.:)
Oh, they do, but Erasmus and I cut deals with them in the mod cave to cut us extra slack.
Damn, I don't think I'm supposed to tell you guys that.
Meh.
Apparently there's yet another scandal brewing, apropos kcw.:o
Meh.
Well, thanks for sharing, anyway.
Quote from PurpleD »
Oh, and speaking of stripping games, some people hate them and some people love them. So, I ask a question of the gaymers: Lights on or lights off?
Personally I'm a lights off person. I'm skinny and I have a gross scar, but aside from that I think it's just a lot more sensual if you have to feel rather than it just being kind of "out there". Lights on makes it feel like a porno IMO, but then again, some people are into that kind of thing. hey, whatever floats your boat
Oooh, interesting question that you've proposed there; I would say that if I were to ahem, I'd be lights off, for reasons not too different to those you've aforementioned.
Although I'm legal here, I have yet to ahem, and do not plan on ahemming any time soon.
I really don't know...
Well, some stuff is going to go on here soon - namely, that altern glam band, Scissor Sisters playing live. What are the reactions of the Gaymers to this? (Merely for contrast, I guess; I mean not to offend any Gaymers, in any mode.) Are they capitalizing on this image, in you opinion?
As I understand it, changing top/bottom preferences would be about as difficult as changing someone's sexual orientation. There may well be gay men who don't mind being either top or bottom to accommodate their partner's preferences, but I'd bet you'll find far more who just don't perform well outside what they prefer. You wouldn't ask a top to act like a bottom any more than you'd ask a straight man to be gay, would you?
Well, I'm not necessarily suggesting that people ought to do both, rather, that it seems more likely that most people would prefer both. I can understand why some people would have a strong preference for one over the other, for instance, I had a friend who almost never liked to be on top, ever, according to him.
Quote from {mikeyG} »
Sure, if you liked both. But many out there prefer one to the other (which Annorax hit upon), so it is a part of their sexual identity as much as any other sexual preferences are. I wouldn't say being a top is a significant part of my overall identity (since I consider my sexuality itself to be a rather slight piece of the pie), but in terms of my sexual identity, it's a mammoth aspect.
I think gay men only use that preference as a means of classifying because it greatly affects choices in partners. Tops and bottoms generally seek out their complement, so in a lot of ways, identifying as one or the other speeds up the process of finding what you're looking for.
I guess my experience is just unusual, again, but the majority if gay guys I know, though they may have some general preference, like to alternate. It seems intuitive to me that sexual position would be far less likely to be as ingrained as sexual attraction . . . some preferences (like over thought vs. feeling) may be difficult to adapt, but others seem like they'd be especially changeable. I've known people who only liked to be on the bottom, but most of the "tops" I know have said that they occasionally like to be on the bottom, too. I've also heard some bad things about men who simply refuse to bottom, that is, that it's a selfish and inflexible way of approaching sex.
It seemed to me that it'd be more likely that the number of people who had a strict, one-sided preference would be far less common than those who alternated.
Well that's because it is, on both counts, actually.
Sexual politics are a fact of human nature. I think it's naive to think that non-heterosexuals would be exempt from that. Establishing dominance, control, being the hunter. These desires are ingrained in our psyches, from both real evolutionary processes and constructed sociological gender roles over the course of human history. Homosexuality only puts a new spin on the old behaviours.
True, I don't expect homosexuals to be any different, just observing that this appears to be the form it takes. I suppose it all depends on how you view sex.
For example, having sex could amount to, for someone:
Satisfying an urge
A recreational activity
A personal exploration
Interpersonal exchange
Or any combination thereof. People who tend to view it more one way than another will probably have a different level of tendency to experiment with sexual practices.
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All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to be the light that you see. All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to be the peace that you feel. All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to fill your heart on my own.
But the rainbow is an image of hope for many reasons, as it is a brilliant sight coming out of oftimes dismal weather.
Well, thanks for sharing, anyway.
Oooh, interesting question that you've proposed there; I would say that if I were to ahem, I'd be lights off, for reasons not too different to those you've aforementioned.
Although I'm legal here, I have yet to ahem, and do not plan on ahemming any time soon.
I really don't know...
Ahem? I think Micah needs to teach you the art of euphemisms. You can't survive in the Gaymers unless you use them... and the gaymer secret 'hand'shake
Oh, and define "not Ahemming any time soon". I dont plan on having sex within the next... month, but I have done a lot of other stuff, so I dont know what your definition of "ahemming" is.
Regarding the interesting question: Anything goes! Lights off, cool! They won't see me doing my American Psycho skit. Lights on, cool! I'm pretty damn sure they won't do an American Psycho skit. Seriously, there's benefits to both and the only downside to both is that you don't get the benefits of the other without closing your eyes continuously or wearing nightvision goggles
Notice how I said they and not him... Casual sex is your friend :D!
Okay, so you just earned yourself a spot in my extendo
More importantly, What is this american psycho thing? I know, it's a movie... but you do a skit... while (as Magic Mage would put it) ahemming?
On the Scissor Sisters: I like their music a lot and that's it. I couldn't care less about their image. I could care even less then that as to why they project this image. Live and let live, I say.
I'll expand more later but I just wanted to toss a bit about QaF in here... of course the show is over the top. It's supposed to be entertaining. No show on television is true to real life; if it was people wouldn't watch it. So yeah, the characters are overblown and play into sterotypes.... but like all things there is a nugget of truth to the stereotypes. Some gays are geeky comic book nerds. Some gays are flamboyant. Some gays are narcissistic and sel-centered. Some gays are sensitive and committed. And so on and so on. Generally people aren't going to neatly fit into these tidy little categories, but characters on television aren't meant to encompass you, they're meant to relate to you. And a gay person who claims they don't know anyone like one of the characters or can't relate at all to any of the characters or plots is a liar.
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Can't say as I have a preference one way or the other. *shrug*
Quote from Magic Mage »
Also, {mikeyG}, and Erasmus, care to share more about yourselves? Pwease?
Not really, no.
What sort of information are you looking for?
Quote from Mamelon »
Well, I'm not necessarily suggesting that people ought to do both, rather, that it seems more likely that most people would prefer both.
This might actually be the case and my experiences could be anomalous. I don't really know. Personally, I don't prefer both and I haven't known too many who claimed to. But to be fair, it really hasn't come up in a large segment of my experience with various gay individuals.
It seems intuitive to me that sexual position would be far less likely to be as ingrained as sexual attraction . . . some preferences (like over thought vs. feeling) may be difficult to adapt, but others seem like they'd be especially changeable.
I think it's barely ingrained at all. I think the preference of sexual position is more or less based upon personal choice. Whenever I think about why I prefer to top much more than bottom, I find that the reasons are exclusively psychological and sociological, which indicates to me that the choice is in our hands. At least more than, say, sexual orientation is.
A person's preference in top or bottom is certainly more adaptable to change, but in my experience, people don't instigate such changes often. People get set in their patterns. I recognize that I could very much decide one day to bottom much more often, but I can't fathom the circumstances necessary for me to change my ways materializing at any point in the forseeable future.
I've also heard some bad things about men who simply refuse to bottom, that is, that it's a selfish and inflexible way of approaching sex.
It is. Luckily, some of us out there don't mind being selfish and inflexible. Especially when the alternative means doing something we'd really rather not.
Truthfully, I don't think the people who prefer only one and never the other are a vast majority. I think we'd find the greatest bulk do prefer one, but have no qualms about dabbling in the other.
Quote from Paranoid »
Heh, just noticed you guys are mods nowadays! I know it's late but I suppose congratulations are in order!
Congratulations!!!
Thank you. I didn't even have to provide sexual favors for this promotion. I got it based on my "merit" and "personality".
Quote from Kraj »
I'll expand more later but I just wanted to toss a bit about QaF in here... of course the show is over the top. It's supposed to be entertaining. No show on television is true to real life; if it was people wouldn't watch it. So yeah, the characters are overblown and play into sterotypes.... but like all things there is a nugget of truth to the stereotypes. Some gays are geeky comic book nerds. Some gays are flamboyant. Some gays are narcissistic and sel-centered. Some gays are sensitive and committed. And so on and so on. Generally people aren't going to neatly fit into these tidy little categories, but characters on television aren't meant to encompass you, they're meant to relate to you. And a gay person who claims they don't know anyone like one of the characters or can't relate at all to any of the characters or plots is a liar.
Oh definately. And I wouldn't ever deny that since I'm a 70-30 blend of Brian and Michael (though as I get older, my Michael side is definately losing out). I was just advising MM that QAF isn't really representative of real life, even if it resembles parts of it from time to time.
Ahem? I think Micah needs to teach you the art of euphemisms. You can't survive in the Gaymers unless you use them... and the gaymer secret 'hand'shake
Oh, and define "not Ahemming any time soon". I dont plan on having sex within the next... month, but I have done a lot of other stuff, so I dont know what your definition of "ahemming" is.
Lol ACTUALLY Ahem is a well known gaymer euphemism that even spawned its own thread title (if you check the first page you can get a link to that thread title.
So Welcome back to Trenton and Faber (Since you hate your first name :-P) and Magic Mage and Mamelon and... Sheesh did you guys get a memo that we're having some sort of lewd clan party involving John Madden and Strip DDR? Cuz we're totally not. Wink.
Whaaaatever. Jake can top. *nod* you guys are silly.
So much to say to catch up on and so little time.
QAF was fun for the first few episodes I saw but lack of that channel inhibited my addiction so I guess I was stymied before I had a chance to really get into it.
Scrubs is one of those shows I love but never watch :(. Kinda the same way I was with The Office and Star Trek Enterprise (and that got cancelled after 4 seasons)
Noid: answer your emails once in a while and you wouldn't miss so much :-P
Trenton: You never did explain much about why you were gone so long and why you got kicked out of your house. I expect a full report in my PM Box when I get back!
If Cameron were here he'd probably say "Strip EVERYTHING lights ON." Or something without "caps". I hear tell he's quite fond of Strip Monopoly and Strip DDR and Strip Twister and what ever you have. I think he'd play strip "watching paint dry" if it was competitive enough.
But it's not for me hehe. Sounds fun in theory. But you guys make it sound like stripping leads to lewdness or is in itself lewd. I'm pretty sure you can play strip games and keep it platonic.
This top and bottom conversation has gotten me all turned around. I have no clue what I'll want when the situation arises.
(See trenton, I'm capable of subtle euphemisms ;))
Well, I'm quite lost seeing as I barely know anyone here. Except maybe Micah who's been keeping me entertained in a non-euphemistic way (non-euphemistic is SO a word).
I say put Jake in a room with a guy and tell him they need to have sex to get out alive. Don't stipulate specifics. And let him go for whatever he chooses. >_>
Never seen QAF so I can't quite comment on it. =/
Lights... OFF!
And I've never played a strip game... but now I wanna. =(
How do you play Strip DDR anyways?
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Quote from {mikeyG} »
Also, I'm real drunk right now. Might not want to listen to me. Though I did tell my coworkers I was bi tonight (in the words of an equally drunk coworker: "In a 'pit stop to gay town' way or a 'likes guys and girls more or less equally' way? "The second one, Rob." "Oh, ****ing good for you, man."). I'm going to bed now.
Gerg: Oh don't get them started on how attractive they find him. There's no point really. It's a matter of preference. The point is not if he's attractive or not (to some that's not even a question) but whether he's a top or bottom. He's a celebrity with questionable interests in men. That's reason enough :-P
Well, I'm quite lost seeing as I barely know anyone here. Except maybe Micah who's been keeping me entertained in a non-euphemistic way (non-euphemistic is SO a word).
I say put Jake in a room with a guy and tell him they need to have sex to get out alive. Don't stipulate specifics. And let him go for whatever he chooses. >_>
Never seen QAF so I can't quite comment on it. =/
Lights... OFF!
And I've never played a strip game... but now I wanna. =(
How do you play Strip DDR anyways?
Strip DDR, from what I can tell, works like this.
In a marathon go of DDR each player dances. They play against each other and the loser takes off clothing and sits down. The winner takes on a new challenger. Repeat til everyone is naked.
Personally I'm a lights off person. I'm skinny and I have a gross scar, but aside from that I think it's just a lot more sensual if you have to feel rather than it just being kind of "out there". Lights on makes it feel like a porno IMO, but then again, some people are into that kind of thing. hey, whatever floats your boat
I'm going to take a guess and say lights off, because it would feel more intimate.
Quote from {mikeyG} »
This might actually be the case and my experiences could be anomalous. I don't really know. Personally, I don't prefer both and I haven't known too many who claimed to. But to be fair, it really hasn't come up in a large segment of my experience with various gay individuals.
Yeah. With me, one of my brothers and some of closer friends have always been very open about telling sexual stories and sharing bits of sexual preference. I only know one guy who only liked to be on the bottom, everyone else has told me that they like to alternate . . . although I remember one friend swore to me he'd never be a bottom at all in his life, until he actually did it, then he decided it wasn't so bad. *shrug*
Why they all saw fit to share this with me, I don't know.
I think it's barely ingrained at all. I think the preference of sexual position is more or less based upon personal choice. Whenever I think about why I prefer to top much more than bottom, I find that the reasons are exclusively psychological and sociological, which indicates to me that the choice is in our hands. At least more than, say, sexual orientation is.
A person's preference in top or bottom is certainly more adaptable to change, but in my experience, people don't instigate such changes often. People get set in their patterns. I recognize that I could very much decide one day to bottom much more often, but I can't fathom the circumstances necessary for me to change my ways materializing at any point in the forseeable future.
That's what I think, too. I imagine part of it is anatomical (i.e. how good or bad it feels to penetrate or be penetrated), but much of it is based in psychology.
It is. Luckily, some of us out there don't mind being selfish and inflexible. Especially when the alternative means doing something we'd really rather not.
I imagine many guys don't like the idea of being penetrated because anal penetration can be painful. I wouldn't really know from experience, but all I've heard tell is that it doesn't really hurt almost at all if you've done it a couple of times.
And some guys, I'm sure, wouldn't want to be on the bottom because they don't like giving up the feeling of dominance that typically is associated with being the one doing the penetrating (or simply physically on top, as the case may be) - or being the "man". Alternately, it appears that some "dedicated bottoms" actually get kind of a feeling of control out of it. I can sort of understand that, in an oblique way. "Power bottoms" or whatever one would call it.
I'm sure it varies from person to person, though. Like you say, most people probably have a preference but don't always mind alternating. I guess a lot of guys would like to be on top at least sometimes because it's stimulating for the *****, whereas being on the bottom isn't as directly satisfying, I'd imagine.
Quote from blue »
Whaaaatever. Jake can top. *nod* you guys are silly.
So, uh, isn't he actually straight, anyway? Or did I miss something?
Quote from gerg »
But what it is with you guys and Jake? He isn't even that attractive!
I bet a lot of people like him because he has an appearance that is sort of youthful and he looks like he'd be sweet and cute.
Quote from blue »
This top and bottom conversation has gotten me all turned around. I have no clue what I'll want when the situation arises.
Well . . . I realize I'm not a good person to be acting like I know much about sexual experience, but . . . anal intercourse isn't necessarily required. Some gay male couples never have it. Some people only use other means to stimulate each other. So, it'll all sort of depend on what you (and your mate) would be comfortable with. May I ask if you are a virgin, so I can see your comment in better context? I don't recall if you have said.
@QaF: I watched like half a season of that show once . . . it seemed like it was trying to be at least partially comical. No offense to those who like it, but it seemed kind of boring. Actually, I did like some of the characters, but not all of them. I didn't much like that Justin kid, for some reason.
All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to be the light that you see. All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to be the peace that you feel. All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to fill your heart on my own.
But the rainbow is an image of hope for many reasons, as it is a brilliant sight coming out of oftimes dismal weather.
I'm going to take a guess and say lights off, because it would feel more intimate.
Again I think it's possible to do this Strip game without being intimate. Just cuz everyone is getting naked doesn't mean everyone's getting intimate. I guess in my head it seemed more like a "Having fun with a group of platonic friends that just happen to not mind getting naked as punishment for doing badly in a game...lol..."
So, uh, isn't he actually straight, anyway? Or did I miss something?
PSh. That hardly matters :-P
Well . . . I realize I'm not a good person to be acting like I know much about sexual experience, but . . . anal intercourse isn't necessarily required. Some gay male couples never have it. Some people only use other means to stimulate each other. So, it'll all sort of depend on what you (and your mate) would be comfortable with. May I ask if you are a virgin, so I can see your comment in better context? I don't recall if you have said.
Hrm... How to say this. In SOME people's eyes I'm not a virgin. And in other camps I'd be considered a virgin.
I've never kissed anyone and been only on 4 dates and never had a boyfriend or a real relationship. But I have.... hmmmm... "been an intern for Bill Clinton" so to speak ... 3 times. (And that's only in the past 6 months or so. Meh. I got a late start.)
Again I think it's possible to do this Strip game without being intimate. Just cuz everyone is getting naked doesn't mean everyone's getting intimate. I guess in my head it seemed more like a "Having fun with a group of platonic friends that just happen to not mind getting naked as punishment for doing badly in a game...lol..."
Ah, true, I guess I thought PurpleD meant lights on or off for just getting unclothed in general (I presumed he meant to include having sex).
Hrm... How to say this. In SOME people's eyes I'm not a virgin. And in other camps I'd be considered a virgin.
I've never kissed anyone and been only on 4 dates and never had a boyfriend or a real relationship. But I have.... hmmmm... "been an intern for Bill Clinton" so to speak ... 3 times. (And that's only in the past 6 months or so. Meh. I got a late start.)
Loud and clear.
Can I ask, did early sexual experiences change anything about how you viewed sex?
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All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to be the light that you see. All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to be the peace that you feel. All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to fill your heart on my own.
But the rainbow is an image of hope for many reasons, as it is a brilliant sight coming out of oftimes dismal weather.
Can I ask, did early sexual experiences change anything about how you viewed sex?
You'll have to define what you mean about early sexual experiences.... I'm not quite sure what you're talking about since the first thing I did was when I was 22.
That doesn't sound like much fun! The thrill is in the fact that everyone is slowly losing clothing instead of take it all off at once. Also, it isn't fair to make some people wait and other people start right off. Even worse, when naked, you make them sit? Owh, come on!
Oh everyone will slowly lose clothing. I mean how long can one person keep winning at DDR before getting tired while everyone is resting? And who says they have to start stripping by taking off their shirts? They could just as easily de-pant and de-underwear (assuming they are wearing underwear) And who wouldn't love to see John Madden dancing DDR after two losses like that? I'm sure you can bid clothing versus clothing based on difficulty compared to value of clothing and experience of the opponent.
This is obviously a multi-faceted game that shall be patented asap.
You'll have to define what you mean about early sexual experiences.... I'm not quite sure what you're talking about since the first thing I did was when I was 22.
Oh, I meant the first few ones you had, not necessarily ones that happened when you were younger.
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All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to be the light that you see. All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to be the peace that you feel. All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to fill your heart on my own.
But the rainbow is an image of hope for many reasons, as it is a brilliant sight coming out of oftimes dismal weather.
Lights: My personal preference is low light. Total darknes can be fun, but in my opinion to do a good job you need to pay attention to your partner's response, and unless s/he's very vocal you need to be able to see body language. Feel free to ask Pappa Greg for more sex advice.
On top v bottom: the majority of people I know have a strong perference for one while some consider themselves versatile. Among those who have a strong preference, I'd say a good chunk of them like to try the other position on occasion. There is definitely a very large group who strictly prefer one and never try the other. Honestly, I just don't think I know enough to say which group is in the majority. If we're all really, really curious as to the answer, I could do a bit of research. No, not that kind of research ya bunch of hornballs!
But it's not for me hehe. Sounds fun in theory. But you guys make it sound like stripping leads to lewdness or is in itself lewd. I'm pretty sure you can play strip games and keep it platonic.
Pfff! Maybe other people can, but none of us are gullible enough to think you could get naked with a bunch of guys and be platonic about it.
I imagine many guys don't like the idea of being penetrated because anal penetration can be painful. I wouldn't really know from experience, but all I've heard tell is that it doesn't really hurt almost at all if you've done it a couple of times.
Well that's part of it. But it's also a very different sexual experience; some people just don't enjoy one as much as the other. And if all is well it generally doesn't hurt, but a lot can make it not go well: a top who doesn't know what he's doing or is intentionally rough, a very large top, hemmorhoids, fissures, etc.
The skit basically means I'm satisfying my lust for sex and manslaughter at roughly the same time. afterwards I hide the various bodyparts in an assortment of cupboards, closets and fridges.
If nothing else, you sure sound like an exciting date!
On top v bottom: the majority of people I know have a strong perference for one while some consider themselves versatile. Among those who have a strong preference, I'd say a good chunk of them like to try the other position on occasion. There is definitely a very large group who strictly prefer one and never try the other. Honestly, I just don't think I know enough to say which group is in the majority. If we're all really, really curious as to the answer, I could do a bit of research. No, not that kind of research ya bunch of hornballs!
I think I should rephrase my original comment about this phenomenon. Of course there is nothing weird of wrong about people having a specific preference. Really, it's more the way the preference is dichotomized subculturally and there are social norms built up around it. Those feel very political, and what politics basically amount to is power struggle. I guess I just feel that fighting for dominance should ideally become less and less important in sexual relationships, rather than more and more.
It's generalized, though. Patterns and tendencies that apply to large groups of people break down rapidly the further away you get from group and the closer you get to individual. I'm sure you could easily have someone who absolutely never bottomed, and yet it could have nothing to do with sexual conquest or finding juicy bottoms as "prey" ("Oh, I bet he'd let me penetrate him!")
Quote from Kraj »
Well that's part of it. But it's also a very different sexual experience; some people just don't enjoy one as much as the other. And if all is well it generally doesn't hurt, but a lot can make it not go well: a top who doesn't know what he's doing or is intentionally rough, a very large top, hemmorhoids, fissures, etc.
Yeah, I can imagine. I'm basically getting this from hearsay and my own readings, but I'd wager there is even more experience involved with being on the top, and still being a "good" lover (especially if he has a large *****).
Quote from Kraj »
Maybe it was the whinniness and stupidity? Just a guess...
Those were factors.
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All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to be the light that you see. All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to be the peace that you feel. All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to fill your heart on my own.
But the rainbow is an image of hope for many reasons, as it is a brilliant sight coming out of oftimes dismal weather.
On top v bottom: the majority of people I know have a strong perference for one while some consider themselves versatile. Among those who have a strong preference, I'd say a good chunk of them like to try the other position on occasion. There is definitely a very large group who strictly prefer one and never try the other. Honestly, I just don't think I know enough to say which group is in the majority. If we're all really, really curious as to the answer, I could do a bit of research. No, not that kind of research ya bunch of hornballs!
Not strictly scientific, but it at least gives us a point of reverence. Not unexpected findings, honestly.
And Mamelon, I think your right about the sexual politics of it all. Again, I think it all comes back to gays subconsciously finding an equivalent to society's general gender roles for straight relationships (even if those roles are often inaccurate).
As I understand it, changing top/bottom preferences would be about as difficult as changing someone's sexual orientation. There may well be gay men who don't mind being either top or bottom to accommodate their partner's preferences, but I'd bet you'll find far more who just don't perform well outside what they prefer. You wouldn't ask a top to act like a bottom any more than you'd ask a straight man to be gay, would you?
https://twitch.tv/annorax10 (classic retro speedruns & occasional MTGO/MTGA screwaround streams)
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Sure, if you liked both. But many out there prefer one to the other (which Annorax hit upon), so it is a part of their sexual identity as much as any other sexual preferences are. I wouldn't say being a top is a significant part of my overall identity (since I consider my sexuality itself to be a rather slight piece of the pie), but in terms of my sexual identity, it's a mammoth aspect.
I think gay men only use that preference as a means of classifying because it greatly affects choices in partners. Tops and bottoms generally seek out their complement, so in a lot of ways, identifying as one or the other speeds up the process of finding what you're looking for.
Well that's because it is, on both counts, actually.
Sexual politics are a fact of human nature. I think it's naive to think that non-heterosexuals would be exempt from that. Establishing dominance, control, being the hunter. These desires are ingrained in our psyches, from both real evolutionary processes and constructed sociological gender roles over the course of human history. Homosexuality only puts a new spin on the old behaviours.
In my experience, top/bottom preferences are about as fluid as sexual orientation tends to be. Some prefer one or the other, others have a strong preference for one but dabble in the other and there are some who enjoy both.
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Katingal: Plane of Chains
Isn't that quite like gay people classifying themselves as subs and doms, then?
I really don't see why men, G/B or not, should consider themselves to be
tops or bottoms; identity, it's what you make of it, and I don't see why it is the case that some men see themselves, or, rather, are seen as tops or bottoms.
Then again, I can't really relate to this issue, from experience; no surprise, I guess, that I don't understand this.
Although, I find it cute when two people of the same gender...make out. Somewhat perverted? Yes, I am...
Wait, no; I don't really find it cute, nor am I repulsed by that.:p
Anyhow, I must say, the American/Canadian television series Queer as Folk, which some of you may be familiar with, for you might have access to the television, is quite a show. I do not quite understand the dynamics of the characters.:( I wish I knew.
Oh, I'm appalled at how gay people are described in that show; it appears that gays are, to quote, "in the dark", "do unjust to God", and are awfully promiscuous and uncondignly peripheral. Well, maybe that is the case - only for a minority.
If events are depicted somewhat correctly, I have slightly more insight about the LGBT community. If any of you can inform me, please do. Thanks.
Well, thanks for explaining this, Mikey.
Not necessarily. That's a common misconception, though. A bottom is no more a submissive than a woman is in a straight pairing. They might be, but the two don't go hand in hand.
Ahhh, QAF. My beloved guilty pleasure. But only for seasons 3-5, the early stuff was crap. The later stuff wasn't much better, but I had a lot of love for the cinematography (and no, that's not a euphemism),
Yeah the show doesn't really paint an all-inclusive view of gay people. The characters and situations are all over the top takes on real stereotypes.
QAF offers true insight into the LGBT community as Scrubs does into life in a hospital. Not very. There are nuggets of reality in there, but the show is still an unrealistic soap opera with copious amounts of hot gay sex thrown in. It's about as reliable a source on reality as a newspaper horoscope.
No prob.
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Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
You, too?
Oh, they do, but Erasmus and I cut deals with them in the mod cave to cut us extra slack.
Damn, I don't think I'm supposed to tell you guys that.
Meh.
Welcome back, wayward son. What's new with you?
Archatmos
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Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
Alright, sorry for the sabbatical (again) but I really havent been around the site very much. I've got some cool news, but it can wait.
As for the topic at hand, I'm going to summarize it; In Sex, no matter straight, gay or anything in between, people have preferences. some people's preferences are very prominent, others are simply a slight preference. Those who are steadfast will only accept it one way, while others may be a bit more accommodating (just to get some)
And Jake is clearly a bottom. There's no way he could be a top unless he's with a tiny but hot piece
Anyways, ont my news; PurpleD is no longer single! Not to get your hopes up, but I am in fact dating a girl and she's awesome. I'll spare you the details, but I just thought I'd let y'all know.
Other than that, not a whole lot going on in my life. You know, school, work and the occasional game of strip madden (fun game!).
[Left Play Designs][Coffeehouse][DeviantArt]
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Welcome back, and congrats. The number of single people I know dwindles ever smaller ....
And I kind of hate you for putting the words 'strip' and 'Madden' together in my head. It's leading to disgusting images of John Madden.
Archatmos
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Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
Hmmm.... top or bottom?
Oh, and speaking of stripping games, some people hate them and some people love them. So, I ask a question of the gaymers: Lights on or lights off?
Personally I'm a lights off person. I'm skinny and I have a gross scar, but aside from that I think it's just a lot more sensual if you have to feel rather than it just being kind of "out there". Lights on makes it feel like a porno IMO, but then again, some people are into that kind of thing. hey, whatever floats your boat
[Left Play Designs][Coffeehouse][DeviantArt]
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Oh dearie...um, guys and gals, would you be able to help expand your overclan wiki entry, please? It's here.
Also, {mikeyG}, and Erasmus, care to share more about yourselves? Pwease?
Anyhow, I guess I'll be spending quite a bit of time fixing up stuff hither and thither.:(
Well, I suppose that may be the case for many couples...
Oh, okay then. From what I've seen of QaF, I can't say I enjoy it, nor can I say that I absolutely loathe the entire series with a passion; I can only say that I am intrigued by those two or so episodes that I've seen.
Indeed! It's not as though every gay person has no occupation other than a bodybuilder; nor is it true that every single gay person goes to (rave) clubs and seeks out the company of another man/woman, so as to seek a good night.
So, this matches my thoughts prior to confirmation exactly.
Thanks Mikey, again.:)
Apparently there's yet another scandal brewing, apropos kcw.:o
Meh.
Well, thanks for sharing, anyway.
Oooh, interesting question that you've proposed there; I would say that if I were to ahem, I'd be lights off, for reasons not too different to those you've aforementioned.
Although I'm legal here, I have yet to ahem, and do not plan on ahemming any time soon.
I really don't know...
Well, some stuff is going to go on here soon - namely, that altern glam band, Scissor Sisters playing live. What are the reactions of the Gaymers to this? (Merely for contrast, I guess; I mean not to offend any Gaymers, in any mode.) Are they capitalizing on this image, in you opinion?
Euh...
I hate déjà vu.
Well, I'm not necessarily suggesting that people ought to do both, rather, that it seems more likely that most people would prefer both. I can understand why some people would have a strong preference for one over the other, for instance, I had a friend who almost never liked to be on top, ever, according to him.
I guess my experience is just unusual, again, but the majority if gay guys I know, though they may have some general preference, like to alternate. It seems intuitive to me that sexual position would be far less likely to be as ingrained as sexual attraction . . . some preferences (like over thought vs. feeling) may be difficult to adapt, but others seem like they'd be especially changeable. I've known people who only liked to be on the bottom, but most of the "tops" I know have said that they occasionally like to be on the bottom, too. I've also heard some bad things about men who simply refuse to bottom, that is, that it's a selfish and inflexible way of approaching sex.
It seemed to me that it'd be more likely that the number of people who had a strict, one-sided preference would be far less common than those who alternated.
True, I don't expect homosexuals to be any different, just observing that this appears to be the form it takes. I suppose it all depends on how you view sex.
For example, having sex could amount to, for someone:
Satisfying an urge
A recreational activity
A personal exploration
Interpersonal exchange
Or any combination thereof. People who tend to view it more one way than another will probably have a different level of tendency to experiment with sexual practices.
All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to be the peace that you feel.
All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to fill your heart on my own.
Gaymers | Magic Coffeehouse | Little Jar of Mamelon | Natural 20
Ahem? I think Micah needs to teach you the art of euphemisms. You can't survive in the Gaymers unless you use them... and the gaymer secret 'hand'shake
Oh, and define "not Ahemming any time soon". I dont plan on having sex within the next... month, but I have done a lot of other stuff, so I dont know what your definition of "ahemming" is.
Okay, so you just earned yourself a spot in my extendo
More importantly, What is this american psycho thing? I know, it's a movie... but you do a skit... while (as Magic Mage would put it) ahemming?
QFT!
[Left Play Designs][Coffeehouse][DeviantArt]
Winner MTGS Weekly Sig/Banner Contest
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Current New Favorite Person™: Mallory Archer
She knows why.
Can't say as I have a preference one way or the other. *shrug*
Not really, no.
What sort of information are you looking for?
This might actually be the case and my experiences could be anomalous. I don't really know. Personally, I don't prefer both and I haven't known too many who claimed to. But to be fair, it really hasn't come up in a large segment of my experience with various gay individuals.
I think it's barely ingrained at all. I think the preference of sexual position is more or less based upon personal choice. Whenever I think about why I prefer to top much more than bottom, I find that the reasons are exclusively psychological and sociological, which indicates to me that the choice is in our hands. At least more than, say, sexual orientation is.
A person's preference in top or bottom is certainly more adaptable to change, but in my experience, people don't instigate such changes often. People get set in their patterns. I recognize that I could very much decide one day to bottom much more often, but I can't fathom the circumstances necessary for me to change my ways materializing at any point in the forseeable future.
It is. Luckily, some of us out there don't mind being selfish and inflexible. Especially when the alternative means doing something we'd really rather not.
Truthfully, I don't think the people who prefer only one and never the other are a vast majority. I think we'd find the greatest bulk do prefer one, but have no qualms about dabbling in the other.
Thank you. I didn't even have to provide sexual favors for this promotion. I got it based on my "merit" and "personality".
Oh definately. And I wouldn't ever deny that since I'm a 70-30 blend of Brian and Michael (though as I get older, my Michael side is definately losing out). I was just advising MM that QAF isn't really representative of real life, even if it resembles parts of it from time to time.
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
Lol ACTUALLY Ahem is a well known gaymer euphemism that even spawned its own thread title (if you check the first page you can get a link to that thread title.
So Welcome back to Trenton and Faber (Since you hate your first name :-P) and Magic Mage and Mamelon and... Sheesh did you guys get a memo that we're having some sort of lewd clan party involving John Madden and Strip DDR? Cuz we're totally not. Wink.
Whaaaatever. Jake can top. *nod* you guys are silly.
So much to say to catch up on and so little time.
QAF was fun for the first few episodes I saw but lack of that channel inhibited my addiction so I guess I was stymied before I had a chance to really get into it.
Scrubs is one of those shows I love but never watch :(. Kinda the same way I was with The Office and Star Trek Enterprise (and that got cancelled after 4 seasons)
Noid: answer your emails once in a while and you wouldn't miss so much :-P
Trenton: You never did explain much about why you were gone so long and why you got kicked out of your house. I expect a full report in my PM Box when I get back!
If Cameron were here he'd probably say "Strip EVERYTHING lights ON." Or something without "caps". I hear tell he's quite fond of Strip Monopoly and Strip DDR and Strip Twister and what ever you have. I think he'd play strip "watching paint dry" if it was competitive enough.
But it's not for me hehe. Sounds fun in theory. But you guys make it sound like stripping leads to lewdness or is in itself lewd. I'm pretty sure you can play strip games and keep it platonic.
This top and bottom conversation has gotten me all turned around. I have no clue what I'll want when the situation arises.
(See trenton, I'm capable of subtle euphemisms ;))
And for the lazy asses:
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showthread.php?t=10777
I say put Jake in a room with a guy and tell him they need to have sex to get out alive. Don't stipulate specifics. And let him go for whatever he chooses. >_>
Never seen QAF so I can't quite comment on it. =/
Lights... OFF!
And I've never played a strip game... but now I wanna. =(
How do you play Strip DDR anyways?
Strip DDR, from what I can tell, works like this.
In a marathon go of DDR each player dances. They play against each other and the loser takes off clothing and sits down. The winner takes on a new challenger. Repeat til everyone is naked.
You, sir, are one step away from being added to my ignore list for that comment
Lights on/off: Off, typically *shrug* I'm not so bind that I can't see what's going on, numsayn?
Magic Mage: In what regards?
I'm going to take a guess and say lights off, because it would feel more intimate.
Yeah. With me, one of my brothers and some of closer friends have always been very open about telling sexual stories and sharing bits of sexual preference. I only know one guy who only liked to be on the bottom, everyone else has told me that they like to alternate . . . although I remember one friend swore to me he'd never be a bottom at all in his life, until he actually did it, then he decided it wasn't so bad. *shrug*
Why they all saw fit to share this with me, I don't know.
That's what I think, too. I imagine part of it is anatomical (i.e. how good or bad it feels to penetrate or be penetrated), but much of it is based in psychology.
I imagine many guys don't like the idea of being penetrated because anal penetration can be painful. I wouldn't really know from experience, but all I've heard tell is that it doesn't really hurt almost at all if you've done it a couple of times.
And some guys, I'm sure, wouldn't want to be on the bottom because they don't like giving up the feeling of dominance that typically is associated with being the one doing the penetrating (or simply physically on top, as the case may be) - or being the "man". Alternately, it appears that some "dedicated bottoms" actually get kind of a feeling of control out of it. I can sort of understand that, in an oblique way. "Power bottoms" or whatever one would call it.
I'm sure it varies from person to person, though. Like you say, most people probably have a preference but don't always mind alternating. I guess a lot of guys would like to be on top at least sometimes because it's stimulating for the *****, whereas being on the bottom isn't as directly satisfying, I'd imagine.
So, uh, isn't he actually straight, anyway? Or did I miss something?
I bet a lot of people like him because he has an appearance that is sort of youthful and he looks like he'd be sweet and cute.
Well . . . I realize I'm not a good person to be acting like I know much about sexual experience, but . . . anal intercourse isn't necessarily required. Some gay male couples never have it. Some people only use other means to stimulate each other. So, it'll all sort of depend on what you (and your mate) would be comfortable with. May I ask if you are a virgin, so I can see your comment in better context? I don't recall if you have said.
@QaF: I watched like half a season of that show once . . . it seemed like it was trying to be at least partially comical. No offense to those who like it, but it seemed kind of boring. Actually, I did like some of the characters, but not all of them. I didn't much like that Justin kid, for some reason.
All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to be the peace that you feel.
All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to fill your heart on my own.
Gaymers | Magic Coffeehouse | Little Jar of Mamelon | Natural 20
Again I think it's possible to do this Strip game without being intimate. Just cuz everyone is getting naked doesn't mean everyone's getting intimate. I guess in my head it seemed more like a "Having fun with a group of platonic friends that just happen to not mind getting naked as punishment for doing badly in a game...lol..."
PSh. That hardly matters :-P
Hrm... How to say this. In SOME people's eyes I'm not a virgin. And in other camps I'd be considered a virgin.
I've never kissed anyone and been only on 4 dates and never had a boyfriend or a real relationship. But I have.... hmmmm... "been an intern for Bill Clinton" so to speak ... 3 times. (And that's only in the past 6 months or so. Meh. I got a late start.)
Ah, true, I guess I thought PurpleD meant lights on or off for just getting unclothed in general (I presumed he meant to include having sex).
Loud and clear.
Can I ask, did early sexual experiences change anything about how you viewed sex?
All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to be the peace that you feel.
All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to fill your heart on my own.
Gaymers | Magic Coffeehouse | Little Jar of Mamelon | Natural 20
You'll have to define what you mean about early sexual experiences.... I'm not quite sure what you're talking about since the first thing I did was when I was 22.
He was being sarcastic of course.
Oh everyone will slowly lose clothing. I mean how long can one person keep winning at DDR before getting tired while everyone is resting? And who says they have to start stripping by taking off their shirts? They could just as easily de-pant and de-underwear (assuming they are wearing underwear) And who wouldn't love to see John Madden dancing DDR after two losses like that? I'm sure you can bid clothing versus clothing based on difficulty compared to value of clothing and experience of the opponent.
This is obviously a multi-faceted game that shall be patented asap.
Oh, I meant the first few ones you had, not necessarily ones that happened when you were younger.
All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to be the peace that you feel.
All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to fill your heart on my own.
Gaymers | Magic Coffeehouse | Little Jar of Mamelon | Natural 20
Lights: My personal preference is low light. Total darknes can be fun, but in my opinion to do a good job you need to pay attention to your partner's response, and unless s/he's very vocal you need to be able to see body language. Feel free to ask Pappa Greg for more sex advice.
On top v bottom: the majority of people I know have a strong perference for one while some consider themselves versatile. Among those who have a strong preference, I'd say a good chunk of them like to try the other position on occasion. There is definitely a very large group who strictly prefer one and never try the other. Honestly, I just don't think I know enough to say which group is in the majority. If we're all really, really curious as to the answer, I could do a bit of research. No, not that kind of research ya bunch of hornballs!
I have Madonna holding for you on line 2....
Pfff! Maybe other people can, but none of us are gullible enough to think you could get naked with a bunch of guys and be platonic about it.
Hey, that works too....
Well that's part of it. But it's also a very different sexual experience; some people just don't enjoy one as much as the other. And if all is well it generally doesn't hurt, but a lot can make it not go well: a top who doesn't know what he's doing or is intentionally rough, a very large top, hemmorhoids, fissures, etc.
Maybe it was the whinniness and stupidity? Just a guess...
If nothing else, you sure sound like an exciting date!
Um... me? Unless maybe you could guarantee a fatal heart attack would follow.
...have I mentioned lately how much I despise John Madden?
(We are talking about the evil football announcer who is the bane of all that's good about the game, not another John Madden, right?)
Current New Favorite Person™: Mallory Archer
She knows why.
I think I should rephrase my original comment about this phenomenon. Of course there is nothing weird of wrong about people having a specific preference. Really, it's more the way the preference is dichotomized subculturally and there are social norms built up around it. Those feel very political, and what politics basically amount to is power struggle. I guess I just feel that fighting for dominance should ideally become less and less important in sexual relationships, rather than more and more.
It's generalized, though. Patterns and tendencies that apply to large groups of people break down rapidly the further away you get from group and the closer you get to individual. I'm sure you could easily have someone who absolutely never bottomed, and yet it could have nothing to do with sexual conquest or finding juicy bottoms as "prey" ("Oh, I bet he'd let me penetrate him!")
Yeah, I can imagine. I'm basically getting this from hearsay and my own readings, but I'd wager there is even more experience involved with being on the top, and still being a "good" lover (especially if he has a large *****).
Those were factors.
All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to be the peace that you feel.
All that I yearn for, for richer or poorer, is to fill your heart on my own.
Gaymers | Magic Coffeehouse | Little Jar of Mamelon | Natural 20
Tada!
Not strictly scientific, but it at least gives us a point of reverence. Not unexpected findings, honestly.
And Mamelon, I think your right about the sexual politics of it all. Again, I think it all comes back to gays subconsciously finding an equivalent to society's general gender roles for straight relationships (even if those roles are often inaccurate).
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains