Wait I've been everywhere in Legend of Zelda, Adventures of Link, Link to the Past, Link's Awakening, and the blue/red gameboy color games. I've seen someone play Ocarina of time... which one is Tingle in O_o.
Oh wait. Unless he's in that Mask game or that cellshaded game.
And btw omg I've never been so tired in my life. I was working out at the gym and have been for the past long time period. Well recently I started working out twice a day and I thought I was getting tired but then this trainer came up to me yesterday and taught me how to correctly do this exercize I've been doing wrong. What a difference! I could still do it but had to lower the weight on it. And now my body is sore and tired like never before. It's such a good feeling!
In other news So You Think You Can Dance now has 3 amazingly attractive guys left and I don't really care who wins. Well... except for Travis. I don't want him to win. But Benji and Ivan *drool... Ivan* can win if they want
Kraj: Next week is the finals.
Is anyone going to see the movie Scoop? I watched and liked Match Point a lot so I'm hoping this is just as good.
Any thoughts on long distance relationships? My friend's girlfriend is coming in from Canada tomorrow. They've never met. They first started talking becaue of World of Warcraft *shudder*. And now they're moving in together. I am hoping the best. How far would any of you go to meet someone you love and what would your hopes be when you got there? Then realistically what would your hopes be.
In other news So You Think You Can Dance now has 3 amazingly attractive guys left and I don't really care who wins. Well... except for Travis. I don't want him to win. But Benji and Ivan *drool... Ivan* can win if they want
Kraj: Next week is the finals.
My tv signal went out during Travis' solo due to thunderstorms last night. I haven't seen the show. I don't know if any salvagable pieces are recorded. I forget, do they replay it before tonight's results?
Personally, I think Benji is the best of the guys. I like Travis but I have to admit he started out excellent but tended to fall flat on ballroom and he really didn't change much over the show. While I still think he's better than Ivan overall, Ivan has shown the potential to surpass Travis.
Of the girls, I like Donielle the best. I don't see in Natalie what everyone else apparently sees. I like Heidi; she's had some amazing performances. But she's also struggled with hip hop and other less-structured styles. Donielle has been fantastic at everything. But then again, so was Allison and look where it got her. She was the best of the four remaining girls and she got voted off. I'm honestly less interested in the show because of that. Not that it's the show's fault, but if the American people are going to vote the best dancer off, then I'm not particularly interested in finding out what they do next.
True story. I hated it when Allison left she was my favorite girl. Donyelle didn't do a great job last night. Actually Ivan and Natalie seem to have less chemistry on stage than they do off stage.
Mary Murphy, while necessary to the show, can be grating. Though I wouldn't have it any other way because there's not much other banter going on anyways and it would be less entertaining if we didn't have someone to make fun of. I like Donyelle of course but after last night's performance I'd like to see Heidi and Benji in the finals. So what if they're cousins heh.
You had rain last night?! Holy crap! We had heat. go figure.
Go go Texas! It's the only place I've been where I've actually gone INTO a sauna to cool down!
I don't think I can fall in love over the internet. If anyone honestly can, good for them. I can still read in the car
Lol. My mom can't. She gets motion sick. I usually can't because I fall asleep when no one is talking.
I dunno if you can fall in love over the internet. To me being in love is a very physical thing. Physical attraction is important. Having feelings for someone in that you care for them a lot is possible. I worry about my friends in Ireland and the Netherlands and Belgium and Canada and non texas states even though I've never met them. I want them to be happy and I can say I have a kind of love for them. But without seeing any of them and interacting with them I don't think love could develop. Well...except with that one guy in Ireland. *swoon*
I won't say it's impossible. I guess it could happen if you spent a LOT of time talking to each other, texting, and talking over the phone/webcam or whatever.
My friend, let's call him S, and his girlfriend, M, seem to be in love so far. I guess we'll have to wait and see how far S&M make it.
You had rain last night?! Holy crap! We had heat. go figure.
Oh no, we had plenty of heat and still do. We got a break of a few degrees for today, and it's supposed to bounce right back to as hot as it was tommorrow.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
The Golden Rule of forums: If you're going to be rude, be right. If you might be wrong, be polite.
Well, if you've already met in person [like Mikey and I], a long-distance relationship would be easier, I would think. I dunno. I'm just praying like crazy that we'll make it and get married one day. Probably a silly thought, but I know for sure that I wouldn't be happy with anyone else, much less alone. He's the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I'll do anything to make it happen.
* Leilani stops babbling
In other news, I've been reading the Redwall series again. I'm halfway through Mossflower right now....I figure I can read like crazy for the next week and a half until I visit Mikey. It'll distract me enough that I won't hurt quite so bad.
Back to my book, laters.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I know it seems that I don't care, but something in me does I swear.
[gaymers]
founder of the MTGS Forum Pirates
'tar/banner by R&Doom.
Oh no, we had plenty of heat and still do. We got a break of a few degrees for today, and it's supposed to bounce right back to as hot as it was tommorrow.
More soccer eh? Well get on tonight! SYTYCD Woowoo! Only one week left makes me sad
It's still hella hot here. At least you guys get a winter. We rarely have one. Usually it's just Summer Summer Summer Spring repeat.
The other reason I disliked WW is because of all that damn sailing. Epona > the dragon boat. I never got around to beating WW.
So, I'm going to the Allentown DCI show on saturday, I think. Maybe it's tomorrow. I dunno. Either way, it's with this kid I don't really like because he said a lot of other people were going, and they are not. People who lie suck His Xanga is entertaining, though, but for all the wrong reasons
Micah probably knows Eric Close from Without a Trace. I know him as "Hey, it's that guy from Dark Skies, Now and Again and that cowboy show that isn't Deadwood or Dr Quinn!". Man, he made some crappy stuff. *shrug*
Micah probably knows Eric Close from Without a Trace. I know him as "Hey, it's that guy from Dark Skies, Now and Again and that cowboy show that isn't Deadwood or Dr Quinn!". Man, he made some crappy stuff. *shrug*
Eric Close!
Ha actually no. I didn't know he was still making stuff.... I kinda was watching Lifetime (I'm working on my gay license and all). He's in this made for TV movie with Tiffany Thiesson called "The Stranger Beside Me"
I watched enough of it to figure out he's hot regardless of my suspisions that he's a serial rapist lol.
It's been a while, so I hope you are all okay. I decided to abstain from the suicide discussion.
I am going to a debate camp for a week, which I think will be fun. We are debating a resolution in which the US increases the number of persons in the Armed Forces or certain select civilian community service organizations. I am trying, naturally, to argue that we should end the ban on "gays" in the military. Others are calling for the draft, etc. The War on Terror will be debated, which is a very good thing, and I hope it will be criticized. I intend to criticize it.
Help has come in the form of a bit of basic algebra. I feel that it'll shed some light on your problem here.
Basically:
S + T = W
...S in this case stands for 'spam' and the T stands for 'light trolling'. And the W? That stands for 'Warning'. I love math. -- {mikeyG}
Ha actually no. I didn't know he was still making stuff.... I kinda was watching Lifetime (I'm working on my gay license and all). He's in this made for TV movie with Tiffany Thiesson called "The Stranger Beside Me"
I'm seriously at a loss. I ..... yeah .....
Quote from Erasmus »
I like that last picture of him...That's about it, though.
I'm not really a fan at all. He doesn't do a whole lot for me. Luckily, HGOtW is going to be a bit more frequent starting this week. Something for everyone a bit more often.
Soooo I didn't mean to start a huge discussion about suicide ._.
Just for clarification:
I didn't mean for it to sound like I was adamant on doing it. I don't think I could ever do it - It was just the fact that I actually considered it what scared me.
I don't want to have come across as one of the scenester kids from years before who joked about suicide and cut themselves and essentially passed it off as something small. I know several people who have killed themselves. I know the effects it has on people. One of them was a best friend of mine and it ****ed me up quite a bit.
I wasn't trying to cry for attention, I was just hoping someone could point me in the direction of who to talk to. I'm been depressed like I was that night for a long time now, but that just happened to be one of my low nights.
I do consider myself to be bisexual but that's never been one of the contributing reasons to why I feel like crap all the time. I get a little offended by the things I hear people say about homosexuals (Living in South Dakota there's an awful lot of hostility towards them/us). I've told a few people and it didn't bother them (though I probably did choose the correct people to tell), and a couple years ago (when I had just realized it about myself) one of my friends at the time found out, pointed it out once, and didn't say anything about it after that.
That's all I really want to say right now. I'm sorry I started such a touchy debate.
Soooo I didn't mean to start a huge discussion about suicide ._.
Just for clarification:
I didn't mean for it to sound like I was adamant on doing it. I don't think I could ever do it - It was just the fact that I actually considered it what scared me.
I don't want to have come across as one of the scenester kids from years before who joked about suicide and cut themselves and essentially passed it off as something small. I know several people who have killed themselves. I know the effects it has on people. One of them was a best friend of mine and it ****ed me up quite a bit.
I wasn't trying to cry for attention, I was just hoping someone could point me in the direction of who to talk to. I'm been depressed like I was that night for a long time now, but that just happened to be one of my low nights.
I do consider myself to be bisexual but that's never been one of the contributing reasons to why I feel like crap all the time. I get a little offended by the things I hear people say about homosexuals (Living in South Dakota there's an awful lot of hostility towards them/us). I've told a few people and it didn't bother them (though I probably did choose the correct people to tell), and a couple years ago (when I had just realized it about myself) one of my friends at the time found out, pointed it out once, and didn't say anything about it after that.
That's all I really want to say right now. I'm sorry I started such a touchy debate.
The only thing to be sorry about is if you don't finish the debate since you were ultimately the center of the conversation. Being depressed is a difficult thing to get out of. A funk in which you seem to have no escape always looks worst from inside the funk itself. It's like you're stuck in a room with no doors or windows. You have no concept of what it's like outside the room because you have no light. You want to get out but you seriously don't know how.
Depression is tricky because if you're in the right situation you can ignore it for a while. That's when you have to focus on it the most. Once you get a lighter day that's when you need to talk to someone. When you're in your darkest days there's no helping. People can try but you'll hear them as if you're in a tunnel. You'll keep going down the tunnel and all you'll hear is a faint echo.
You aren't low now so why don't you talk to one of us. You can do it on Instant messenger or private message if you'd like.
We've all dealt with some sadness and some have dealt with depression. I was wrong to have judged your posts and I won't requalify that.
And, while this won't help, you don't seem like the depressed type. You seem too strong for that, as is shown by your coming back and writing what you wrote.
But talk while you're not in a slump! It will help!
I didn't mean for it to sound like I was adamant on doing it. I don't think I could ever do it - It was just the fact that I actually considered it what scared me.
I'm not sure anyone got the impression you were adamant, just that you were seriously considering. If you had already made up your mind, there's little anyone can/could do for you. If you're seriously considering, then you should seriously consider getting some help first.
I underlined "seriously" because there is a huge difference between feeling like you wish you were dead sometimes and feeling like that all the time, or making plans to do it, etc. Regardless of some people's opinions here, it is not uncommon or even (dare I say) abnormal for a person to consider suicide as a fleeting thought; especially teenagers. If it's more of a passing thought for you, there's no reason to get freaked out. Just acknowledge it, discard it as a valid solution, and then turn your energy towards dealing with your problems instead of dwelling on them. If you get to a place where you find yourself seriously thinking about suicide a lot, then you need to seek help.
Quote from iamnotjohn »
I wasn't trying to cry for attention, I was just hoping someone could point me in the direction of who to talk to. I'm been depressed like I was that night for a long time now, but that just happened to be one of my low nights.
May I ask... did you call the hotline? If not, why not? Hopefully (and it's starting to sound to me like this is the case) you're not suicidal to the point where you're in immediate danger of harming yourself. That's good. But that's not all the hotline is for. They should be able to help you with depression as well.
Quote from iamnotjohn »
That's all I really want to say right now. I'm sorry I started such a touchy debate.
I'm not. This isn't a subject I ever want to talk about again but if it happens I think we, as a group, are more likely to handle it better. Besides, we wouldn't be a very tight group if we couldn't handle a tough subject and some disagreement now and again. It's not like life is all rainbows for us gays.
Quote from blue »
...you don't seem like the depressed type. You seem too strong for that...
*Sigh* Why do you insist on equating depression with weakness? Seriously.
*Sigh* Why do you insist on equating depression with weakness? Seriously.
I don't know. I guess I feel like the stronger the person the easier it is to overcome depression. Stronger willed or strength of character I dunno. would you not say that overcoming depression makes you a stronger person? And if so wouldn't that mean that before hand you were weaker? It doesn't necessarily make them weak before but they weren't as strong as they are now. What else can I say about someone that overcomes adversity? You say it's not weakness but I mean the depression itself isn't weakness. How the person copes with it determines how strong they are. I don't know how you made a compliment look like an insult O-o.
I think that you're right, Micah. Depression can strike even the strongest of individuals, but how one deals with it shows how strong they can be. Depression is not weakness by any means, but failing to seek help to overcome it is.
I hope you find the help you need, iamnotjohn. If not here, then somewhere with people you can feel safe confiding in. Despite how things may look sometimes, Gaymers is a place filled with people who will listen and try to help. Myself (to the shock and dismay of some) included. You wouldn't be the first to look to us for guidance and you likely won't be the last. I hope you find the guidance you need. Good luck.
I don't know. I guess I feel like the stronger the person the easier it is to overcome depression. Stronger willed or strength of character I dunno. would you not say that overcoming depression makes you a stronger person? And if so wouldn't that mean that before hand you were weaker? It doesn't necessarily make them weak before but they weren't as strong as they are now. What else can I say about someone that overcomes adversity? You say it's not weakness but I mean the depression itself isn't weakness. How the person copes with it determines how strong they are.
The problem with discussing someone's "strength" is that it's subjective. Everyone experiences and copes with pain in different ways. Depression, and in turn suicidal thoughts, are generally the result of a simple equation: pain and/or stress > ability to cope. You are qualifying that equation as "weakness" regardless of the values on either side. Maybe it will be clearer if we plug numbers in.
Doctors often ask you to rate your pain on a scale of 1-10, 1 being "discomfort" and 10 being "the worst pain you've ever experienced". So let's say we can also rate our ability to cope with that pain on a 1-10 scale, 1 being basically no ability to cope and 10 being able to cope with anything you've experienced so far.
Let's say my ability to cope with pain is a 6, and my general experience of pain is a 3. Since, 6 > 3 you would say I am a strong person based on the fact that I can cope with more pain than I normally deal with. Let's say my brother's ability to cope with pain is a 9, but his general experience of pain is a 10. You would say my brother is weak because his ability to cope with pain is less than what he normally deals with, even though his ability to cope is greater than mine. That does not make sense to me.
Obviously, pain and depression is not as simple as all that but do you see what I'm getting at?
Quote from blue »
I don't know how you made a compliment look like an insult O-o.
Yeah, I get that a lot. The thing is, language is very important to me and I'm very aware of semantics and implications. And I am highly critical of statements that pack a lot of such bagage on and I do my best to avoid such things. Especially in a forum format where one is not readily available to clarify his or her statements. You may have intended the statement as a compliment by saying you think he is strong. But the implication is that anyone who is depressed is weak. Therefore, if he accepts both your compliment and that he is, in fact, depressed then he must be weak.
Quote from {mikeyG} »
Depression is not weakness by any means, but failing to seek help to overcome it is.
This I will go along with. I find it interesting, though, that so many of the reactions to his initial statement were accusations of weakness and assumptions that he didn't really want help.
I also agree with Micah. We came up with this comparison in health class: depression is similar to abuse in the fact that it can happen to anyone, anywhere, at any time. What separates the "strong" from the "weak" is how they deal with depression, and if they overcome it.
Today's a lot easier going than yesterday was...I'm not ready to sit and cry at the drop of a hat like yesterday....I went and looked for Mikey's hat [since he lost it the other day], seems like it's long gone.
I've talked to him twice already today...his little brother, Tyler, is adjusting pretty well from what i understand [and from his happy screaming/shouting/whatever in the background, haha]....he has a trundle bed instead of a crib now, because they returned the crib to his mom's work friend.
I keep looking at the pictures of their house from the link Mikey gave me when they bought it....Imagining it how it's turning out to be--rooms being painted different, new furniture, and all that. Two weeks, and then I get to see all of them for a week. I can't wait.
I'm like..addicted to Pink Floyd's "Learning to Fly". Probably because it's Mikey's favorite song of all time, or maybe it's just a song to get addicted to. I got kind of bored last night, so I made a desktop of all the pictures of us. I'll attach it, see what you kids think of it.
I'm gonna go back to reading the Redwall series now...I'm a quarter of the way through Legend of Luke.
ATTACHMENTS
us2
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I know it seems that I don't care, but something in me does I swear.
[gaymers]
founder of the MTGS Forum Pirates
'tar/banner by R&Doom.
I went to the DCI show in Allentown last night with a friend, and that was cool. The directions completely sucked, but apparently it's impossible to not get to where you want to go n Allentown. The directions led us into this real shady part of the city, and so we turned around and turned some streets and ended up at the stadium somehow. And basically did the same thing to get home. The Crusaders, Cadets, and Phantom Regiment were the best...And I got to meet up with a friend randomly who was up from Maryland. *shrug* It was a fun time.
Now I get to do it all over again tonight, but with people that aren't nearly as much fun
Mikey just left. All I've done for the last twenty minutes is wander around the house. I don't know what to do with myself, and I can't stop crying.
i'm out for a while.
I know it seems that I don't care,
but something in me does I swear.
[gaymers]
founder of the MTGS Forum Pirates
'tar/banner by R&Doom.
Oh wait. Unless he's in that Mask game or that cellshaded game.
And btw omg I've never been so tired in my life. I was working out at the gym and have been for the past long time period. Well recently I started working out twice a day and I thought I was getting tired but then this trainer came up to me yesterday and taught me how to correctly do this exercize I've been doing wrong. What a difference! I could still do it but had to lower the weight on it. And now my body is sore and tired like never before. It's such a good feeling!
In other news So You Think You Can Dance now has 3 amazingly attractive guys left and I don't really care who wins. Well... except for Travis. I don't want him to win. But Benji and Ivan *drool... Ivan* can win if they want
Kraj: Next week is the finals.
Is anyone going to see the movie Scoop? I watched and liked Match Point a lot so I'm hoping this is just as good.
Any thoughts on long distance relationships? My friend's girlfriend is coming in from Canada tomorrow. They've never met. They first started talking becaue of World of Warcraft *shudder*. And now they're moving in together. I am hoping the best. How far would any of you go to meet someone you love and what would your hopes be when you got there? Then realistically what would your hopes be.
My tv signal went out during Travis' solo due to thunderstorms last night. I haven't seen the show. I don't know if any salvagable pieces are recorded. I forget, do they replay it before tonight's results?
Personally, I think Benji is the best of the guys. I like Travis but I have to admit he started out excellent but tended to fall flat on ballroom and he really didn't change much over the show. While I still think he's better than Ivan overall, Ivan has shown the potential to surpass Travis.
Of the girls, I like Donielle the best. I don't see in Natalie what everyone else apparently sees. I like Heidi; she's had some amazing performances. But she's also struggled with hip hop and other less-structured styles. Donielle has been fantastic at everything. But then again, so was Allison and look where it got her. She was the best of the four remaining girls and she got voted off. I'm honestly less interested in the show because of that. Not that it's the show's fault, but if the American people are going to vote the best dancer off, then I'm not particularly interested in finding out what they do next.
Current New Favorite Person™: Mallory Archer
She knows why.
Mary Murphy, while necessary to the show, can be grating. Though I wouldn't have it any other way because there's not much other banter going on anyways and it would be less entertaining if we didn't have someone to make fun of. I like Donyelle of course but after last night's performance I'd like to see Heidi and Benji in the finals. So what if they're cousins heh.
You had rain last night?! Holy crap! We had heat. go figure.
Go go Texas! It's the only place I've been where I've actually gone INTO a sauna to cool down!
Lol. My mom can't. She gets motion sick. I usually can't because I fall asleep when no one is talking.
I dunno if you can fall in love over the internet. To me being in love is a very physical thing. Physical attraction is important. Having feelings for someone in that you care for them a lot is possible. I worry about my friends in Ireland and the Netherlands and Belgium and Canada and non texas states even though I've never met them. I want them to be happy and I can say I have a kind of love for them. But without seeing any of them and interacting with them I don't think love could develop. Well...except with that one guy in Ireland. *swoon*
I won't say it's impossible. I guess it could happen if you spent a LOT of time talking to each other, texting, and talking over the phone/webcam or whatever.
My friend, let's call him S, and his girlfriend, M, seem to be in love so far. I guess we'll have to wait and see how far S&M make it.
Oh no, we had plenty of heat and still do. We got a break of a few degrees for today, and it's supposed to bounce right back to as hot as it was tommorrow.
Current New Favorite Person™: Mallory Archer
She knows why.
* Leilani stops babbling
In other news, I've been reading the Redwall series again. I'm halfway through Mossflower right now....I figure I can read like crazy for the next week and a half until I visit Mikey. It'll distract me enough that I won't hurt quite so bad.
Back to my book, laters.
I know it seems that I don't care,
but something in me does I swear.
[gaymers]
founder of the MTGS Forum Pirates
'tar/banner by R&Doom.
More soccer eh? Well get on tonight! SYTYCD Woowoo! Only one week left makes me sad
It's still hella hot here. At least you guys get a winter. We rarely have one. Usually it's just Summer Summer Summer Spring repeat.
So, I'm going to the Allentown DCI show on saturday, I think. Maybe it's tomorrow. I dunno. Either way, it's with this kid I don't really like because he said a lot of other people were going, and they are not. People who lie suck His Xanga is entertaining, though, but for all the wrong reasons
Granted.
Micah probably knows Eric Close from Without a Trace. I know him as "Hey, it's that guy from Dark Skies, Now and Again and that cowboy show that isn't Deadwood or Dr Quinn!". Man, he made some crappy stuff. *shrug*
Eric Close!
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
Ha actually no. I didn't know he was still making stuff.... I kinda was watching Lifetime (I'm working on my gay license and all). He's in this made for TV movie with Tiffany Thiesson called "The Stranger Beside Me"
I watched enough of it to figure out he's hot regardless of my suspisions that he's a serial rapist lol.
Go go Eric Close!
It's been a while, so I hope you are all okay. I decided to abstain from the suicide discussion.
I am going to a debate camp for a week, which I think will be fun. We are debating a resolution in which the US increases the number of persons in the Armed Forces or certain select civilian community service organizations. I am trying, naturally, to argue that we should end the ban on "gays" in the military. Others are calling for the draft, etc. The War on Terror will be debated, which is a very good thing, and I hope it will be criticized. I intend to criticize it.
Help has come in the form of a bit of basic algebra. I feel that it'll shed some light on your problem here.
Basically:
S + T = W
...S in this case stands for 'spam' and the T stands for 'light trolling'. And the W? That stands for 'Warning'. I love math. -- {mikeyG}
I'm seriously at a loss. I ..... yeah .....
I'm not really a fan at all. He doesn't do a whole lot for me. Luckily, HGOtW is going to be a bit more frequent starting this week. Something for everyone a bit more often.
I wished I hadn't, but now I'm kinda glad I did.
Good luck at debate camp.
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
Just for clarification:
The only thing to be sorry about is if you don't finish the debate since you were ultimately the center of the conversation. Being depressed is a difficult thing to get out of. A funk in which you seem to have no escape always looks worst from inside the funk itself. It's like you're stuck in a room with no doors or windows. You have no concept of what it's like outside the room because you have no light. You want to get out but you seriously don't know how.
Depression is tricky because if you're in the right situation you can ignore it for a while. That's when you have to focus on it the most. Once you get a lighter day that's when you need to talk to someone. When you're in your darkest days there's no helping. People can try but you'll hear them as if you're in a tunnel. You'll keep going down the tunnel and all you'll hear is a faint echo.
You aren't low now so why don't you talk to one of us. You can do it on Instant messenger or private message if you'd like.
We've all dealt with some sadness and some have dealt with depression. I was wrong to have judged your posts and I won't requalify that.
And, while this won't help, you don't seem like the depressed type. You seem too strong for that, as is shown by your coming back and writing what you wrote.
But talk while you're not in a slump! It will help!
I'm not sure anyone got the impression you were adamant, just that you were seriously considering. If you had already made up your mind, there's little anyone can/could do for you. If you're seriously considering, then you should seriously consider getting some help first.
I underlined "seriously" because there is a huge difference between feeling like you wish you were dead sometimes and feeling like that all the time, or making plans to do it, etc. Regardless of some people's opinions here, it is not uncommon or even (dare I say) abnormal for a person to consider suicide as a fleeting thought; especially teenagers. If it's more of a passing thought for you, there's no reason to get freaked out. Just acknowledge it, discard it as a valid solution, and then turn your energy towards dealing with your problems instead of dwelling on them. If you get to a place where you find yourself seriously thinking about suicide a lot, then you need to seek help.
May I ask... did you call the hotline? If not, why not? Hopefully (and it's starting to sound to me like this is the case) you're not suicidal to the point where you're in immediate danger of harming yourself. That's good. But that's not all the hotline is for. They should be able to help you with depression as well.
I'm not. This isn't a subject I ever want to talk about again but if it happens I think we, as a group, are more likely to handle it better. Besides, we wouldn't be a very tight group if we couldn't handle a tough subject and some disagreement now and again. It's not like life is all rainbows for us gays.
*Sigh* Why do you insist on equating depression with weakness? Seriously.
Current New Favorite Person™: Mallory Archer
She knows why.
I don't know. I guess I feel like the stronger the person the easier it is to overcome depression. Stronger willed or strength of character I dunno. would you not say that overcoming depression makes you a stronger person? And if so wouldn't that mean that before hand you were weaker? It doesn't necessarily make them weak before but they weren't as strong as they are now. What else can I say about someone that overcomes adversity? You say it's not weakness but I mean the depression itself isn't weakness. How the person copes with it determines how strong they are. I don't know how you made a compliment look like an insult O-o.
I hope you find the help you need, iamnotjohn. If not here, then somewhere with people you can feel safe confiding in. Despite how things may look sometimes, Gaymers is a place filled with people who will listen and try to help. Myself (to the shock and dismay of some) included. You wouldn't be the first to look to us for guidance and you likely won't be the last. I hope you find the guidance you need. Good luck.
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
The problem with discussing someone's "strength" is that it's subjective. Everyone experiences and copes with pain in different ways. Depression, and in turn suicidal thoughts, are generally the result of a simple equation: pain and/or stress > ability to cope. You are qualifying that equation as "weakness" regardless of the values on either side. Maybe it will be clearer if we plug numbers in.
Doctors often ask you to rate your pain on a scale of 1-10, 1 being "discomfort" and 10 being "the worst pain you've ever experienced". So let's say we can also rate our ability to cope with that pain on a 1-10 scale, 1 being basically no ability to cope and 10 being able to cope with anything you've experienced so far.
Let's say my ability to cope with pain is a 6, and my general experience of pain is a 3. Since, 6 > 3 you would say I am a strong person based on the fact that I can cope with more pain than I normally deal with. Let's say my brother's ability to cope with pain is a 9, but his general experience of pain is a 10. You would say my brother is weak because his ability to cope with pain is less than what he normally deals with, even though his ability to cope is greater than mine. That does not make sense to me.
Obviously, pain and depression is not as simple as all that but do you see what I'm getting at?
Yeah, I get that a lot. The thing is, language is very important to me and I'm very aware of semantics and implications. And I am highly critical of statements that pack a lot of such bagage on and I do my best to avoid such things. Especially in a forum format where one is not readily available to clarify his or her statements. You may have intended the statement as a compliment by saying you think he is strong. But the implication is that anyone who is depressed is weak. Therefore, if he accepts both your compliment and that he is, in fact, depressed then he must be weak.
This I will go along with. I find it interesting, though, that so many of the reactions to his initial statement were accusations of weakness and assumptions that he didn't really want help.
Current New Favorite Person™: Mallory Archer
She knows why.
Today's a lot easier going than yesterday was...I'm not ready to sit and cry at the drop of a hat like yesterday....I went and looked for Mikey's hat [since he lost it the other day], seems like it's long gone.
I've talked to him twice already today...his little brother, Tyler, is adjusting pretty well from what i understand [and from his happy screaming/shouting/whatever in the background, haha]....he has a trundle bed instead of a crib now, because they returned the crib to his mom's work friend.
I keep looking at the pictures of their house from the link Mikey gave me when they bought it....Imagining it how it's turning out to be--rooms being painted different, new furniture, and all that. Two weeks, and then I get to see all of them for a week. I can't wait.
I'm like..addicted to Pink Floyd's "Learning to Fly". Probably because it's Mikey's favorite song of all time, or maybe it's just a song to get addicted to. I got kind of bored last night, so I made a desktop of all the pictures of us. I'll attach it, see what you kids think of it.
I'm gonna go back to reading the Redwall series now...I'm a quarter of the way through Legend of Luke.
I know it seems that I don't care,
but something in me does I swear.
[gaymers]
founder of the MTGS Forum Pirates
'tar/banner by R&Doom.
Now I get to do it all over again tonight, but with people that aren't nearly as much fun
Mmm...marching band.
I know it seems that I don't care,
but something in me does I swear.
[gaymers]
founder of the MTGS Forum Pirates
'tar/banner by R&Doom.