Recently, it has come to my attention that there have been girls showing up on this site, particularly in Introduce Yourself. So, in order to make sure we are all clear on the proper etiquette, may I present to you...
Photon Eater's Rules for Greeting Girls on MTGS!
1. If you meet a girl online, being friendly with her does NOT mean she'll date you.
2. If you meet a girl online, being friendly with her does NOT mean she'll date you.
3. If you meet a girl online, being friendly with her does NOT mean she'll date you.
4. A girl is basically just like a guy, only with boobs. Some believe that they may, in fact, be full of magic, or at least rainbow colored light that grants all your wishes. This is, in fact, a load of crap. Girls are not that special. They are not like walking Moxen. In fact, they have more in common with your average Grizzly Bear in that they are quite common, pretty ordinary, and have been so forever. They make up exactly HALF the world's population, and have been around since the dawn of time. In fact, your own mother may very well be one.
5. If you meet a girl online, being friendly with her does NOT mean she'll date you.
6. There are, in fact, OTHER girls on this site. A lot of them. So when some new girl shows up, do not act surprised. This has happened before.
7. Don't be that guy who says "we need more girls on this site." Why? Refer to Rule 1. It will not get you laid. It will just make you seem like that one lonely loser who plays D&D in his mom's basement every Saturday and always has orange fingers from eating cheet-ohs.
8. If you meet a girl online, being friendly with her does NOT mean she'll date you.
9. Please... whatever you do... refrain from the standard "Oh my God, I wish I knew a girl who played MTG!" line. It's old. We get it, you wanna bag a geeky one. But saying it out loud just makes you the guy from rule 7.
10. Finally, think of it this way- for every new girl who shows up and gets a tickertape parade of welcomes and proposals to date, I will spam up your PM box with creepy come-ons and propositions for anonymous sex. After all, if you straight guys are going to act that way towards your preferred gender on this site, then why shouldn't I?
I declare Photon to be the patron deity of Salvation service announcements
HILARIOUS! Particularily the last one. That was soo funny. And the one in the basement eating cheetos. ROFL!
I figured it was my civic duty, considering that I was one of the ones who created the first IYS thread explosion, which set the precedent for all the further ones, which will ultimately become an annoying part of the MTGS landscape over the years.
Edit: Yes, Run-ons. Deal.
I declare Photon to be the patron deity of Salvation service announcements
Oh hell. It looks like I'm gonna get worshipped again.
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[16:23] Alacar Leoricar: maybe if you do it'll make the porn more meaningful
That list amuses me greatly. It's all true, I'm afraid. Yes, even I would like to find a girl that already plays magic, but I have no intention of dating girls over the internet.
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Banner and avatar by me.
Official Character Sheet Shredder of DAMNIT
DAMNIT: I should never have to shred my own character sheet in frustration.
A lot more fun then it is to wake up to find a zombie assasin over your bed ready to kill you. I can't believe all that nonsense. I couldn't even get a good nights sleep with that thing around.
Recently, it has come to my attention that there have been girls showing up on this site, particularly in Introduce Yourself. So, in order to make sure we are all clear on the proper etiquette, may I present to you...
Photon Eater's Rules for Greeting Girls on MTGS!
1. If you meet a girl online, being friendly with her does NOT mean she'll date you.
2. If you meet a girl online, being friendly with her does NOT mean she'll date you.
3. If you meet a girl online, being friendly with her does NOT mean she'll date you.
4. A girl is basically just like a guy, only with boobs. Some believe that they may, in fact, be full of magic, or at least rainbow colored light that grants all your wishes. This is, in fact, a load of crap. Girls are not that special. They are not like walking Moxen. In fact, they have more in common with your average Grizzly Bear in that they are quite common, pretty ordinary, and have been so forever. They make up exactly HALF the world's population, and have been around since the dawn of time. In fact, your own mother may very well be one.
5. If you meet a girl online, being friendly with her does NOT mean she'll date you.
6. There are, in fact, OTHER girls on this site. A lot of them. So when some new girl shows up, do not act surprised. This has happened before.
7. Don't be that guy who says "we need more girls on this site." Why? Refer to Rule 1. It will not get you laid. It will just make you seem like that one lonely loser who plays D&D in his mom's basement every Saturday and always has orange fingers from eating cheet-ohs.
8. If you meet a girl online, being friendly with her does NOT mean she'll date you.
9. Please... whatever you do... refrain from the standard "Oh my God, I wish I knew a girl who played MTG!" line. It's old. We get it, you wanna bag a geeky one. But saying it out loud just makes you the guy from rule 7.
10. Finally, think of it this way- for every new girl who shows up and gets a tickertape parade of welcomes and proposals to date, I will spam up your PM box with creepy come-ons and propositions for anonymous sex. After all, if you straight guys are going to act that way towards your preferred gender on this site, then why shouldn't I?
Absolutely hilarious. Extendoed.
Oh hell. It looks like I'm gonna get worshipped again.
Oh hell? People worship me all the time and its awesome.
@Photon: How true. And yet, it seems putting it here is like preaching to the choir - there are several girls on this thread already. It should be like stickied over in a certain other forum though. Though, the kind of people that post stuff like that probably wouldn't read the stickies anyway. Damn hormones.
One day left 'till my new anime club is supposed to meet. From past experience, I'm hoping to have even one or two other people there. I won't really care that much if I don't get anybody though, since I'll just have an excuse to watch more 12 Kingdoms on the big screen.
It's hard to convince people to worship you. I personally don't care. Having friends is more important unless your goal is to become some mighty being. Then people are bound to worship you.
I think rule 10 is a bit harsh. Most of the people who spam those threads up are too baffled by the presence of someone of the opposite gender to manage creepy come-ons and propositions of anonymous sex, instead starting to gibber as they realise their world is collapsing around them.
Plus, the last person who pushed things too far in an IYS thread got *****-slapped all the way off MTGS. But anyone doing that sort of thing does indeed deserve their PM inbox filled with demands for anonymous gay sex. Hell, I'd happily join in that crusade, and I'm not even gay.
Actually, ten to one, they would just assume I was female and starting hitting on me in return, with my luck.
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[16:23] Alacar Leoricar: maybe if you do it'll make the porn more meaningful
Of course, Photon. Think about it. The idea of a girl playing magic is almost unheard of, the idea of a gay guy playing magic is almost beyond their comprehension.
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Banner and avatar by me.
Official Character Sheet Shredder of DAMNIT
DAMNIT: I should never have to shred my own character sheet in frustration.
It's hard to convince people to worship you. I personally don't care. Having friends is more important unless your goal is to become some mighty being. Then people are bound to worship you.
It's not that hard. I declared Photon a deity, therefore he is.
For me, going crazy is a short trip. I tend to go there a lot but I have to come back because it's not always fun there either. So, I tend to deal with my problems and move on.
Being worshipped is overrated. You have to keep up some standards of behaviour, or people drift off to different causes, like Mormonism, or the Lesser Church Of Martin And Charlie Sheen (But Not Emilio Estevez, Because He Sucks).
At least he had the balls to keep his name. And he never ended up on a crappy sitcom opposite John freakin' Cryer or on a good sitcom where everyone kept looking at him thinking, "I wish Michael J. Fox was still on the show."
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The Golden Rule of forums: If you're going to be rude, be right. If you might be wrong, be polite.
Damn, I missed like 50 pages. You guys just post like a gattling gun.
Anyway, got back to Boston the other day. It's a lot better than Delaware. All my friends are here. I was pissed at my dad though, cause he was being a dick while I was down there, so I stole his N64. I'm psyched, I never had one. He probly won't even care, he only plays his XBOX now, but it'll piss him off a little. I wish I could see his face when he realizes I made off with a whole game system.
Its not a girlish approach or a gay approach. As nobody knows, my favourite colours are pink and purple so im just showing it out loud. I hope you like it coz if you dont, i really dont care
I like it, I was just wondering. Purple Happens to be my second favourite colour (other than orange) and that's why my theme is Purple... not to mention that it goes well with my name.
I could send you a Dimir Doppleganger with a blanket on...or a Russian Gruul War Plow...or any of a wide assortment of commons and uncommons from Legacy and Extended-legal sets.
Haha, Really, I'td be my pleasure to send you a Haakon. I only want a signed land or something like that. You know... pictures, evil plans... The usual
Seriously though, I'd love a signed land from you (and everyone).
PM me for a chat.
I'm going off to class in a little bit, but before I go I might as well talk about what's been going on with me. I asked the dream girl if she was doing anything Saturday, and she said she didn't know, so I'll be back on Friday and ask her then. I also registered to vote in Pennsylvania. I'm excited for that because that means I get to vote for the Senate race going on there, and I hate the Republican guy to no end (his name is Rick Santorum), so I'll vote Democratic. In addition, a girl invited me to come with her to this concert over Facebook. I can't wait!
I like it, I was just wondering. Purple Happens to be my second favourite colour (other than orange) and that's why my theme is Purple... not to mention that it goes well with my name.
That's cool though. I like the look
Haha, Really, I'td be my pleasure to send you a Haakon. I only want a signed land or something like that. You know... pictures, evil plans... The usual
Seriously though, I'd love a signed land from you (and everyone).
PM me for a chat.
* PurpleD bows down in front of psycho
@Signed lands: I intenf to make one for you next time I go to the shooting range. (I'll send you one w/o a bullet hole too. :))
The other day while I was worshipping PotN I was wondering why I never get mistaken for a girl on MTGS when it happens all of the time on other sites. (Even though I have a female avatar here and nowhere else.) It's possible that on a site like this the default assumption is that a person is male, whereas on a forum devoted to say, a band, there's a bit more gender parity.
Really, though, I salute PE for that list. It's astonishing how differently girls or those who are pecieved as being girls are treated on the net. One of the most powerful ways to experience this is, if you play an MMO, roll a new character of the opposite gender of your main character. It's almost baffling how differently female characters are treated. The effect is most dramatic in games like Runescape, where the average player is a painfully desperate loser.
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I figured it was my civic duty, considering that I was one of the ones who created the first IYS thread explosion, which set the precedent for all the further ones, which will ultimately become an annoying part of the MTGS landscape over the years.
Edit: Yes, Run-ons. Deal.
Oh hell. It looks like I'm gonna get worshipped again.
Absolutely hilarious. Extendoed.
Oh hell? People worship me all the time and its awesome.
[Photoshoppers] ◊ [NPI] ◊ Solar Flare Studios ◊ deviantART
Winner of Avatar & Sig Contest Week 72
Like freeform roleplaying? Try Darkness Befalls Us
Ryttare Kelasin Luna Orelinalei
One day left 'till my new anime club is supposed to meet. From past experience, I'm hoping to have even one or two other people there. I won't really care that much if I don't get anybody though, since I'll just have an excuse to watch more 12 Kingdoms on the big screen.
EDIT: Mr. Stuff, my high school ran a very successful anime club when I was there. I'm not sure if it continued after my class graduated, though...
Um, yeah. He's huge in Western Africa!
Actually, ten to one, they would just assume I was female and starting hitting on me in return, with my luck.
It's not that hard. I declared Photon a deity, therefore he is.
Go on Photon, say I AM.
"I Am!"
And then, there was spam.
I was about to point that out, and I must admit, I was tempted to break rule ten just to see what those PMs would look like.
Also, three people don't have to quote what Photon Eater said, it's right on the page.
I have a bible! Links in my sig.
See above comment!
(I also have a cult-like following in eastern pennsylvania.)
[Photoshoppers] ◊ [NPI] ◊ Solar Flare Studios ◊ deviantART
Winner of Avatar & Sig Contest Week 72
At least he had the balls to keep his name. And he never ended up on a crappy sitcom opposite John freakin' Cryer or on a good sitcom where everyone kept looking at him thinking, "I wish Michael J. Fox was still on the show."
Current New Favorite Person™: Mallory Archer
She knows why.
Anyway, got back to Boston the other day. It's a lot better than Delaware. All my friends are here. I was pissed at my dad though, cause he was being a dick while I was down there, so I stole his N64. I'm psyched, I never had one. He probly won't even care, he only plays his XBOX now, but it'll piss him off a little. I wish I could see his face when he realizes I made off with a whole game system.
I like it, I was just wondering. Purple Happens to be my second favourite colour (other than orange) and that's why my theme is Purple... not to mention that it goes well with my name.
That's cool though. I like the look
Haha, Really, I'td be my pleasure to send you a Haakon. I only want a signed land or something like that. You know... pictures, evil plans... The usual
Seriously though, I'd love a signed land from you (and everyone).
PM me for a chat.
* PurpleD bows down in front of psycho
[Left Play Designs][Coffeehouse][DeviantArt]
Winner MTGS Weekly Sig/Banner Contest
Weeks: 37/85/87/94/135/159/160/226
I'm going off to class in a little bit, but before I go I might as well talk about what's been going on with me. I asked the dream girl if she was doing anything Saturday, and she said she didn't know, so I'll be back on Friday and ask her then. I also registered to vote in Pennsylvania. I'm excited for that because that means I get to vote for the Senate race going on there, and I hate the Republican guy to no end (his name is Rick Santorum), so I'll vote Democratic. In addition, a girl invited me to come with her to this concert over Facebook. I can't wait!
@Signed lands: I intenf to make one for you next time I go to the shooting range. (I'll send you one w/o a bullet hole too. :))
[Photoshoppers] ◊ [NPI] ◊ Solar Flare Studios ◊ deviantART
Winner of Avatar & Sig Contest Week 72
Really, though, I salute PE for that list. It's astonishing how differently girls or those who are pecieved as being girls are treated on the net. One of the most powerful ways to experience this is, if you play an MMO, roll a new character of the opposite gender of your main character. It's almost baffling how differently female characters are treated. The effect is most dramatic in games like Runescape, where the average player is a painfully desperate loser.