Through conversations I have had with various people over the course of a few months, I have noticed a sharp increase in risky sex behavior among people with an active casual sex life, such as unprotected sex with multiple partners in the same night.
I found this odd, because since the mid 90's there had been a very strong embrace of a safe sex culture, where being safe was considered extremely respectful, not to mention smart, given the rates of STDs.
I live in Southern California. Is this perhaps a regional occurance or is there a wider loosening of safe sex practices? What could cause this decline when we had been on such a steady safe sex road?
I feel it is about how you were taught and your surroundings. Surroundings as in peer pressure in schools, availability of products, and your understanding.
Sometimes people don't care until there is a negative side effect.
Just like what the ideal women should look like, image and expectations change from decade to decade.
Sadly, this isnt anything new. "You can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink". Young people are irresponsible, especially where alcohol is concerned. Teens are usually too embarrassed to purchase contraception and young twenty somethings often have their judgment impaired by a night out at the bar. The onus is often put on women as well in the form of birth control (which Id say is often the #1 worry as opposed to contracting a disease)
Happens a lot here in Colorado as well. I can't tell you the number of times I've barged into a room where my friend was getting laid and handed him/her a condom. **** the insecurity or the embarrassment, man. If I get you to use a condom, we're golden. If you still won't use it, I hope the other person is embarrassed enough to leave.
I think it has a lot to do with people my age feeling immortal.
I remember my mom forcing me to put a condom in my wallet when I was 15/16. I know now that they can be damaged or wear; however, it did keep me save during that random moment.
I remember my mom forcing me to put a condom in my wallet when I was 15/16. I know now that they can be damaged or wear; however, it did keep me save during that random moment.
Your mother sounds great!
Well, since I am bisexual with a heavy tendency to gay partners, that's an absolute no-go. Never met a guy who tried to go "bare", though some girls were like "But I only ever did it save with other guys and I'm clean and blah"... sorry hon, I am pretty sure I'm not the first you're spinning that line to.
You don't even have to get HIV-infected, having painful intimate warts is bad enough. Though even the threat of HIV should be bad enough to prevent any BBB
If you ever saw pictures of what happens to your junk when you are in the advance stages of syphilis you be sure to not have that attitude. The same thing with HIV / AIDS it is a absolutely terrible way to die. You can with diet and anti retrovirals (?) live reasonably for a couple of years but seeing how your body destroys itself from the inside is really shocking.
If you ever saw pictures of what happens to your junk when you are in the advance stages of syphilis you be sure to not have that attitude. The same thing with HIV / AIDS it is a absolutely terrible way to die. You can with diet and anti retrovirals (?) live reasonably for a couple of years but seeing how your body destroys itself from the inside is really shocking.
It sure did scare me into celibacy.
In high school, we had to take a 'sex education' class. But it wasn't your ordinary class. It wasn't until college that I realized most schools only taught abstinence. Here, you were taught all the ways to protect yourself with abstinence as your last resort. Diaphragms were thrown around the room like freesbies (they had a whole in them so no one could take/try them out) to make things light hearted. But yes, there were huge 3 feet by 3 feet photos of califlower ***** pictures and bright green oozing vaginas. Stare at it! Stare at it long and hard! HARDER!
This thread just reminds me that I'm in my late 20's and that I have no idea what teens do or how they do it. Every single (that is, not in a relationship) person I know goes to Planned Parenthood regularly to get free condoms and would never consider not using them on a stranger. I think it depends on who you know and how young you are what the pictures appears to be. Protect yourself and know that people do get smarter as they get older.
This thread just reminds me that I'm in my late 20's and that I have no idea what teens do or how they do it. Every single (that is, not in a relationship) person I know goes to Planned Parenthood regularly to get free condoms and would never consider not using them on a stranger. I think it depends on who you know and how young you are what the pictures appears to be. Protect yourself and know that people do get smarter as they get older.
Not quite sure what your age matters here. Im nearly 32 and its the same now as it was when I was young. You dont have to be 16-20 to see how 16-20 year olds behave. Its great that your circle of friends act like responsible adults but its fair to say that tends to be closer to the exception than the rule, at least where the younger generation is concerned
Well, I was wondering how this was different from other forms of health hygiene, like, for example, once it caught on that brushing your teeth kept them from falling out, the majority of people switched over, the same for wiping your butt after crapping.
Well, I was wondering how this was different from other forms of health hygiene, like, for example, once it caught on that brushing your teeth kept them from falling out, the majority of people switched over, the same for wiping your butt after crapping.
A good question that lacks a logical answer. All I can really come up with is that the two you mentioned are instilled from the time you can walk where as the matter at hand is done right around the time the acts in question take place.......and thats assuming a discussion between child and parent take place at all.
Not quite sure what your age matters here. Im nearly 32 and its the same now as it was when I was young. You dont have to be 16-20 to see how 16-20 year olds behave. Its great that your circle of friends act like responsible adults but its fair to say that tends to be closer to the exception than the rule, at least where the younger generation is concerned
TBH, I'm trying to figure out when the definition of responsible adult behavior shifted from not making a habit of having casual sex to engaging in casual sex, but doing so with birth control. I'm envisioning a future in which responsible eating is defined as gorging yourself on as much junk food as you want while keeping up with a quarterly schedule of detoxification and weight loss surgeries.
TBH, I'm trying to figure out when the definition of responsible adult behavior shifted from not making a habit of having casual sex to engaging in casual sex, but doing so with birth control. I'm envisioning a future in which responsible eating is defined as gorging yourself on as much junk food as you want while keeping up with a quarterly schedule of detoxification and weight loss surgeries.
Um, what? There's nothing wrong with casual sex. There's nothing wrong with the occasional pizza or candy bar either. We live in a sexually awakened society. People should be allowed to indulge at their discretion in a safe manner.
TBH, I'm trying to figure out when the definition of responsible adult behavior shifted from not making a habit of having casual sex to engaging in casual sex, but doing so with birth control. I'm envisioning a future in which responsible eating is defined as gorging yourself on as much junk food as you want while keeping up with a quarterly schedule of detoxification and weight loss surgeries.
Sad thing is, im 99% sure this will be a thing in the future. :/
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Through conversations I have had with various people over the course of a few months, I have noticed a sharp increase in risky sex behavior among people with an active casual sex life, such as unprotected sex with multiple partners in the same night.
I found this odd, because since the mid 90's there had been a very strong embrace of a safe sex culture, where being safe was considered extremely respectful, not to mention smart, given the rates of STDs.
I live in Southern California. Is this perhaps a regional occurance or is there a wider loosening of safe sex practices? What could cause this decline when we had been on such a steady safe sex road?
sex today is a real "turn and burn" experience for a lot of people. (in the sense that they quickly move from one partner to the next) Practicing sex like that really doesn't give "safe sex" or "sexual moral values" a base to stand on.
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There are two major contributing factors at work here: technology making casual sex much, much easier; and advancing medical treatments giving some the impression that STIs are no longer a thing to be concerned about and that anything caught can be dealt with.
One makes encounters easy to obtain and thus more likely to be frequent, the other makes recklessness easier to see as having no consequences. The media isn't nearly as vigilant and active in promoting safe-sex now as it was 20 years ago, younger generations don't have the big awareness push of STDs in the 80's and flowing into the 90's like many of us had. These days, it's scandal and recklessness that's being promoted, more often than not. The last decade or so has really undone the work done in the 90's to promote safe sex practices, so I'm not surprised that risky behavior is more common these days.
There are two major contributing factors at work here: technology making casual sex much, much easier; and advancing medical treatments giving some the impression that STIs are no longer a thing to be concerned about and that anything caught can be dealt with.
One makes encounters easy to obtain and thus more likely to be frequent, the other makes recklessness easier to see as having no consequences. The media isn't nearly as vigilant and active in promoting safe-sex now as it was 20 years ago, younger generations don't have the big awareness push of STDs in the 80's and flowing into the 90's like many of us had. These days, it's scandal and recklessness that's being promoted, more often than not. The last decade or so has really undone the work done in the 90's to promote safe sex practices, so I'm not surprised that risky behavior is more common these days.
I think a 3rd contributing factor is the now accepted (or mostly) sexual awakening of women. Its seen as far less taboo and far more common than it used to be. Women are allowed to be the sexual aggressor now.
As a gay man, I'm absolutely terrified of HIV. This does not mean I shy away from sex, far from it, it just means I'm extremely vigilant in my practices and partners and get tested every opportunity I get. I just got tested yesterday actually (for all STI's, Hepatitises, and HIV) and it is nice knowing that I'm clean. Granted, the risk factors really weren't there but I am fairly sexually active.
The only reason I'm so vigilant today is because I was one of those teenagers in my youth. I always had sex bare, met people anonymously in bathrooms and bathhouses, and had five or six times the number of partners I have today. I'm bipolar and the hyper sexuality of not being medicated plus the lowered inhibition of self medicating on alcohol and various street drugs lead me to practice this lifestyle. I did get an STI once but it was treatable with antibiotics. Still, that didn't stop me. Neither did finding out ex post facto that a partner or partners were poz.
In essence, I lucked out. I have a ton of friends with similar stories who are now poz or have Hepatitis. I don't know why I was spared, but these life events have reinforced my notion in some form of higher being. (And please don't get me wrong, I am not associating immorality with disease nor disease as any sort of "punishment" for others.). It's just one of those life events that has lead me to that conclusion for myself.
I think the most important thing I'm safe today (besides being on medication an being clean and sober for almost five years) is because I don't give a flying **** what the consequences are when I say "no". You want sex without proof that you're clean? No. You want sex even though you forgot protection this once even though you have proof you are clean? No. You want risky sexual behavior without commitment into monogamy and trust? Hell no. Back in my youth, I was terrified of what people would think if I said "no" (ironically, even if I never were to meet them again) and I was willfully pliable to saying "yes" too many times.
Frequent sexual practice in youth can (but not always) stem from personal insecurities. And those with personal insecurities are less likely to think of their own well being and say "no" when they ought to. I don't think this is the only reason we are seeing this, but it was true for me then.
I think a 3rd contributing factor is the now accepted (or mostly) sexual awakening of women. Its seen as far less taboo and far more common than it used to be. Women are allowed to be the sexual aggressor now.
For sure, but I think that was also true of the 90's for all but the most conservative of people. You'll recall that the strength, freedom and independence of women was an incredibly prevalent theme throughout the decade. If anything, I think female sexuality is weakened these days because of how heavily commodified it is, but that's probably a discussion for another thread.
For sure, but I think that was also true of the 90's for all but the most conservative of people. You'll recall that the strength, freedom and independence of women was an incredibly prevalent theme throughout the decade. If anything, I think female sexuality is weakened these days because of how heavily commodified it is, but that's probably a discussion for another thread.
It was in certain societal aspects but promiscuity among women was still frowned upon during the 90's as best I can recall. Terms like "****" & "whore" were still thrown about pretty freely where as now we dont really see that so much. Was there a sexual awakening that took place, absolutely, but women having casual sex at the rate they do today was still frowned upon
It was in certain societal aspects but promiscuity among women was still frowned upon during the 90's as best I can recall. Terms like "****" & "whore" were still thrown about pretty freely where as now we dont really see that so much. Was there a sexual awakening that took place, absolutely, but women having casual sex at the rate they do today was still frowned upon
I'm sorry, but no. Female promiscuity is still regarded the same now as it was then. **** and whore are still insults that fly freely today, and the same tropes about female sexuality are reinforced in pop culture in 2014 as they were in 1994. The only real shift I see is the readiness of women to admit their promiscuity because for some being ****ty is a badge of honor. There's still a stigma towards their behavior, but women are much less ashamed of it, generally speaking.
I'm sorry, but no. Female promiscuity is still regarded the same now as it was then. **** and whore are still insults that fly freely today, and the same tropes about female sexuality are reinforced in pop culture in 2014 as they were in 1994. The only real shift I see is the readiness of women to admit their promiscuity because for some being ****ty is a badge of honor. There's still a stigma towards their behavior, but women are much less ashamed of it, generally speaking.
Then we've had very different experiences because its nowhere near as prevalent in my day to day social circles
Then we've had very different experiences because its nowhere near as prevalent in my day to day social circles
I'm not talking from my personal experiences. I'm speaking in a cultural sense. Miley Cyrus being martyred for twerking on Robin Thicke is an amazing example of the level of ****-shaming our culture still deals in.
@OP. Depending on where you live, it's often a symptom of the conservative agenda. Conservatives think they can control the bedroom - or at least they want to - and preach incredibly outdated morals that don't appeal to youth. This evil has seeped into the school systems to such a degree that many districts only teach abstinence and don't inform young people how to stay safe and the risks of not doing so. By and large parents fail here as well. The biggest problem with this line of thought is that you can't force abstinence on young people. They WILL fool around, no matter what. So if they're not educated about how to do so safely, your conservative, controlling agenda has just put many people at risk.
Yes, people can make their own choices. But having an agenda that actively removes critical information is tantamount to a criminal act of negligence.
@OP. Depending on where you live, it's often a symptom of the conservative agenda. Conservatives think they can control the bedroom - or at least they want to - and preach incredibly outdated morals that don't appeal to youth. This evil has seeped into the school systems to such a degree that many districts only teach abstinence and don't inform young people how to stay safe and the risks of not doing so. By and large parents fail here as well. The biggest problem with this line of thought is that you can't force abstinence on young people. They WILL fool around, no matter what. So if they're not educated about how to do so safely, your conservative, controlling agenda has just put many people at risk.
Yes, people can make their own choices. But having an agenda that actively removes critical information is tantamount to a criminal act of negligence.
I think you're coming at this from the wrong angle. While the lack of quality sex education is a product of conservative politics, it's not because they want to 'control' the bedroom, at least not quite in the way you mean. It's because they think that by teaching kids how to have sex safely (I.E. without serious repercussions) and providing resources for those kids, that you encourage kids to perform those actions. This is obviously false, but that's where a large part of the opposition comes from.
The teen pregnancy rate of much of Texas and their staunch abstinence only education and lack of access to women's health services is a good example of why this is a bad policy.
I found this odd, because since the mid 90's there had been a very strong embrace of a safe sex culture, where being safe was considered extremely respectful, not to mention smart, given the rates of STDs.
I live in Southern California. Is this perhaps a regional occurance or is there a wider loosening of safe sex practices? What could cause this decline when we had been on such a steady safe sex road?
[Clan Flamingo]
Sometimes people don't care until there is a negative side effect.
Just like what the ideal women should look like, image and expectations change from decade to decade.
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I think it has a lot to do with people my age feeling immortal.
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Your mother sounds great!
If you ever saw pictures of what happens to your junk when you are in the advance stages of syphilis you be sure to not have that attitude. The same thing with HIV / AIDS it is a absolutely terrible way to die. You can with diet and anti retrovirals (?) live reasonably for a couple of years but seeing how your body destroys itself from the inside is really shocking.
It sure did scare me into celibacy.
In high school, we had to take a 'sex education' class. But it wasn't your ordinary class. It wasn't until college that I realized most schools only taught abstinence. Here, you were taught all the ways to protect yourself with abstinence as your last resort. Diaphragms were thrown around the room like freesbies (they had a whole in them so no one could take/try them out) to make things light hearted. But yes, there were huge 3 feet by 3 feet photos of califlower ***** pictures and bright green oozing vaginas. Stare at it! Stare at it long and hard! HARDER!
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Purphoros, God of the Forge: Global Punishment
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Not quite sure what your age matters here. Im nearly 32 and its the same now as it was when I was young. You dont have to be 16-20 to see how 16-20 year olds behave. Its great that your circle of friends act like responsible adults but its fair to say that tends to be closer to the exception than the rule, at least where the younger generation is concerned
[Clan Flamingo]
A good question that lacks a logical answer. All I can really come up with is that the two you mentioned are instilled from the time you can walk where as the matter at hand is done right around the time the acts in question take place.......and thats assuming a discussion between child and parent take place at all.
TBH, I'm trying to figure out when the definition of responsible adult behavior shifted from not making a habit of having casual sex to engaging in casual sex, but doing so with birth control. I'm envisioning a future in which responsible eating is defined as gorging yourself on as much junk food as you want while keeping up with a quarterly schedule of detoxification and weight loss surgeries.
Um, what? There's nothing wrong with casual sex. There's nothing wrong with the occasional pizza or candy bar either. We live in a sexually awakened society. People should be allowed to indulge at their discretion in a safe manner.
Sad thing is, im 99% sure this will be a thing in the future. :/
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sex today is a real "turn and burn" experience for a lot of people. (in the sense that they quickly move from one partner to the next) Practicing sex like that really doesn't give "safe sex" or "sexual moral values" a base to stand on.
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One makes encounters easy to obtain and thus more likely to be frequent, the other makes recklessness easier to see as having no consequences. The media isn't nearly as vigilant and active in promoting safe-sex now as it was 20 years ago, younger generations don't have the big awareness push of STDs in the 80's and flowing into the 90's like many of us had. These days, it's scandal and recklessness that's being promoted, more often than not. The last decade or so has really undone the work done in the 90's to promote safe sex practices, so I'm not surprised that risky behavior is more common these days.
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I think a 3rd contributing factor is the now accepted (or mostly) sexual awakening of women. Its seen as far less taboo and far more common than it used to be. Women are allowed to be the sexual aggressor now.
The only reason I'm so vigilant today is because I was one of those teenagers in my youth. I always had sex bare, met people anonymously in bathrooms and bathhouses, and had five or six times the number of partners I have today. I'm bipolar and the hyper sexuality of not being medicated plus the lowered inhibition of self medicating on alcohol and various street drugs lead me to practice this lifestyle. I did get an STI once but it was treatable with antibiotics. Still, that didn't stop me. Neither did finding out ex post facto that a partner or partners were poz.
In essence, I lucked out. I have a ton of friends with similar stories who are now poz or have Hepatitis. I don't know why I was spared, but these life events have reinforced my notion in some form of higher being. (And please don't get me wrong, I am not associating immorality with disease nor disease as any sort of "punishment" for others.). It's just one of those life events that has lead me to that conclusion for myself.
I think the most important thing I'm safe today (besides being on medication an being clean and sober for almost five years) is because I don't give a flying **** what the consequences are when I say "no". You want sex without proof that you're clean? No. You want sex even though you forgot protection this once even though you have proof you are clean? No. You want risky sexual behavior without commitment into monogamy and trust? Hell no. Back in my youth, I was terrified of what people would think if I said "no" (ironically, even if I never were to meet them again) and I was willfully pliable to saying "yes" too many times.
Frequent sexual practice in youth can (but not always) stem from personal insecurities. And those with personal insecurities are less likely to think of their own well being and say "no" when they ought to. I don't think this is the only reason we are seeing this, but it was true for me then.
For sure, but I think that was also true of the 90's for all but the most conservative of people. You'll recall that the strength, freedom and independence of women was an incredibly prevalent theme throughout the decade. If anything, I think female sexuality is weakened these days because of how heavily commodified it is, but that's probably a discussion for another thread.
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Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
It was in certain societal aspects but promiscuity among women was still frowned upon during the 90's as best I can recall. Terms like "****" & "whore" were still thrown about pretty freely where as now we dont really see that so much. Was there a sexual awakening that took place, absolutely, but women having casual sex at the rate they do today was still frowned upon
I'm sorry, but no. Female promiscuity is still regarded the same now as it was then. **** and whore are still insults that fly freely today, and the same tropes about female sexuality are reinforced in pop culture in 2014 as they were in 1994. The only real shift I see is the readiness of women to admit their promiscuity because for some being ****ty is a badge of honor. There's still a stigma towards their behavior, but women are much less ashamed of it, generally speaking.
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
Then we've had very different experiences because its nowhere near as prevalent in my day to day social circles
I'm not talking from my personal experiences. I'm speaking in a cultural sense. Miley Cyrus being martyred for twerking on Robin Thicke is an amazing example of the level of ****-shaming our culture still deals in.
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Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
Yes, people can make their own choices. But having an agenda that actively removes critical information is tantamount to a criminal act of negligence.
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I think you're coming at this from the wrong angle. While the lack of quality sex education is a product of conservative politics, it's not because they want to 'control' the bedroom, at least not quite in the way you mean. It's because they think that by teaching kids how to have sex safely (I.E. without serious repercussions) and providing resources for those kids, that you encourage kids to perform those actions. This is obviously false, but that's where a large part of the opposition comes from.
The teen pregnancy rate of much of Texas and their staunch abstinence only education and lack of access to women's health services is a good example of why this is a bad policy.
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