I find intelligence really overrated when it comes to attractiveness.
Imo, what people mean with intelligence tends to be someone who is a combination of-
-Well read
-Articulate
-Witty
-Insightful
-Innovative
And a couple others that I cannot think of off the top of my head. None of those actually require intelligence to achieve though.
Personally, I find complete and utter confidence, curvy body, and red hair to be most attractive for me.
But really I find confidence to be so sexy that any woman who shows self-confidence instantly attractive. Conversely, any woman who shows themselves to be insecure actually annoy me, to the point that they can be freaking Venus reincarnated and I won't care if they're insecure.
First thing I look for - at least as crazy as me but in a compatible way. Don't often find that, I can settle for less.
Second - someone that can stand up for themself, and will say so if I'm irritating them.
From bad past experiences, I stay away from the very good looking people unless they are already friends. The last time I dated a model it was a disaster (although a very funny story that won't be told here). She was crazy, just not in a compatible way.
If she laughs at my jokes long enough I will eventually ask for her hand in marriage.
Yeah, basically. My wife still finds my Chewbacca impression funny after 10 years together (although we've only been married a few months). She was definitely a keeper.
So you're basically using most of your time and effort to be able to attract girls. I don't know about you - getting laid is good sport and all - but there ARE actually greater things in life than that.
Certainly there are greater things. But that's not what the OP inquired about. The method one used to hook up a lot is not the same as one might use to building a meaningful and lasting relationship, clearly.
What I was doing was simply to see if I could. It didn't last long because within a couple months I found a girl that made me want all those "greater things" again.
Furthermore, you make some good points guys can work on to 'sell' themselves better to the females, but you're pretty much suggesting changing EVERYTHING about yourself just to maybe be able to pick up girls.
I didn't change EVERYTHING. I changed how I look, sure. But I'm pretty happy with that change, and I'm planning to keep it. I'm not suggesting someone has to do ALL that stuff if they want to increase their chances of hooking up. I changed how I talk to people and how often I say "yes" instead of "no". I might be a more outgoing person, but I changed very little as a person (I think....)
What if you're not the most engaging person, you like having a beard, you don't have any ambitions to work out every day and you're passionately into extreme metal?
That's cool. One, chicks dig well groomed beards. Two, don't want to work out and eat right? Then don't complain when you get zero play from the opposite sex (not that you were/are, just making the general point). They respond to physical attractiveness the same way we do. Three, you can choose to be more engaging. It might a little uncomfortable at first, but you get used to it.
As for heavy metal: Nothing wrong with metal. I love metal as well, but I don't close myself off to other forms of music. Just be open minded.
Are you suggesting that person cannot find a woman? Absolute nonsense; just be yourself and **** will work out.
They OP wasn't asking how to be himself and let stuff work it's way out. He seemed to be interested in what CHANGES he could make that would give him tools to be more effective at picking up chicks.
No one is saying there is any particular thing that will work for everyone. I have a friend that covered in tats, 2+inch gaged ears, piercings ect and he can't keep the girls off his back. Anyone CAN find a woman, but there are things you can do increase the pool of people that will date you. If someone wants to say "**** this, I'm not changing anything to make myself more attractive" they can, and that's perfectly fine. But, again, that is not what the OP wanted.
Surely, you have to go out and meet people to be able to meet girls, and not be UNATTRACTIVE, but that's a world away from what you're suggesting.
Again, look at what the OP asked for. What I did was a metamorphosis, not everyone is going to want to do that, understandably. That's the stuff that worked for me. Most of it is cosmetic.
Honestly, I never gave a damn about what girls (and people in general) thought about me, and it worked out fine. I have a stable relationship for over three years with the most fantastic woman ever and have had other flings and relationships before. And I never had to lie about playing Magic, listening to death metal, or shave my beard or use moisturizer and ****. I am active in sports but that's because I like to do it; I don't work out obsessively because I want to look different than I am.
It's cool that everything worked out for you, but you're looking for something different than what the OP asked for.
So my advice: be yourself, BUT if you're shy challenge yourself to go out and talk to people - don't always choose safety and comfort over something new. And if you're too heavy, lose some weight (changing your diet is MUCH more effective than working out; though doing both is best), many girls think 6-packs are gross and most don't mind you being big, but if your BMI is over 30 that's a little too much.
Lol, no girls don't think 6-packs are gross (I have never heard a woman express that opinon). Even if they tell you they think that. The second you're standing in front of them without a shirt on, well, in my experience they exhibit everything except disgust.
I get you're points. No everyone wants to change everything, or anything about themselves so meeting girls is easier. The OP wasn't looking at ways to stay the same.
All the stuff I listed in my first post has nothing to do with finding a long term partner. It's about hooking up, which is a completely different animal.
PS. BMI is stupid. My BMI tells me I need to lose 30 pounds...
Our belief is not a belief. Our principles are not a faith. We do not rely solely upon science and reason, because these are necessary rather than sufficient factors, but we distrust anything that contradicts science or outrages reason. We may differ on many things, but what we respect is free inquiry, openmindedness, and the pursuit of ideas for their own sake.
― Christopher Hitchens, God Is Not Great
It's very difficult to distil this down to anything in particular or a top N list, but one would be foolish not to value honesty, in all its facets, such as openness, integrity, and sincerity of speech and actions; kindness and, broader, charity; some intellect; stability; and going in a similar direction, but not necessarily in the same career pathway or something.
I can't leave any of these out, and I'm sure I have left out some other important and, to me, attractive traits.
Physical attractiveness is up to the eye of the beholder. If thought of too highly, reflects, of the lessness, more on the beholder.
Imo, what people mean with intelligence tends to be someone who is a combination of-
-Well read
-Articulate
-Witty
-Insightful
-Innovative
And a couple others that I cannot think of off the top of my head. None of those actually require intelligence to achieve though.
Personally, I find complete and utter confidence, curvy body, and red hair to be most attractive for me.
But really I find confidence to be so sexy that any woman who shows self-confidence instantly attractive. Conversely, any woman who shows themselves to be insecure actually annoy me, to the point that they can be freaking Venus reincarnated and I won't care if they're insecure.
-Kind
-Reasonable
-Nice ass
-Confident
In men:
-Intelligent
-Funny
-Kind
-Nice eyes
Just look at the rich old geezers with supermodels hanging on their flabby arms.
Second - someone that can stand up for themself, and will say so if I'm irritating them.
From bad past experiences, I stay away from the very good looking people unless they are already friends. The last time I dated a model it was a disaster (although a very funny story that won't be told here). She was crazy, just not in a compatible way.
Good point. This is exactly what I meant when I say 'intelligent'.
Yeah, basically. My wife still finds my Chewbacca impression funny after 10 years together (although we've only been married a few months). She was definitely a keeper.
Sexist. Guys can have nice assess, too.
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Certainly there are greater things. But that's not what the OP inquired about. The method one used to hook up a lot is not the same as one might use to building a meaningful and lasting relationship, clearly.
What I was doing was simply to see if I could. It didn't last long because within a couple months I found a girl that made me want all those "greater things" again.
I didn't change EVERYTHING. I changed how I look, sure. But I'm pretty happy with that change, and I'm planning to keep it. I'm not suggesting someone has to do ALL that stuff if they want to increase their chances of hooking up. I changed how I talk to people and how often I say "yes" instead of "no". I might be a more outgoing person, but I changed very little as a person (I think....)
That's cool. One, chicks dig well groomed beards. Two, don't want to work out and eat right? Then don't complain when you get zero play from the opposite sex (not that you were/are, just making the general point). They respond to physical attractiveness the same way we do. Three, you can choose to be more engaging. It might a little uncomfortable at first, but you get used to it.
As for heavy metal: Nothing wrong with metal. I love metal as well, but I don't close myself off to other forms of music. Just be open minded.
They OP wasn't asking how to be himself and let stuff work it's way out. He seemed to be interested in what CHANGES he could make that would give him tools to be more effective at picking up chicks.
No one is saying there is any particular thing that will work for everyone. I have a friend that covered in tats, 2+inch gaged ears, piercings ect and he can't keep the girls off his back. Anyone CAN find a woman, but there are things you can do increase the pool of people that will date you. If someone wants to say "**** this, I'm not changing anything to make myself more attractive" they can, and that's perfectly fine. But, again, that is not what the OP wanted.
Again, look at what the OP asked for. What I did was a metamorphosis, not everyone is going to want to do that, understandably. That's the stuff that worked for me. Most of it is cosmetic.
It's cool that everything worked out for you, but you're looking for something different than what the OP asked for.
Lol, no girls don't think 6-packs are gross (I have never heard a woman express that opinon). Even if they tell you they think that. The second you're standing in front of them without a shirt on, well, in my experience they exhibit everything except disgust.
I get you're points. No everyone wants to change everything, or anything about themselves so meeting girls is easier. The OP wasn't looking at ways to stay the same.
All the stuff I listed in my first post has nothing to do with finding a long term partner. It's about hooking up, which is a completely different animal.
PS. BMI is stupid. My BMI tells me I need to lose 30 pounds...
― Christopher Hitchens, God Is Not Great
I can't leave any of these out, and I'm sure I have left out some other important and, to me, attractive traits.
Physical attractiveness is up to the eye of the beholder. If thought of too highly, reflects, of the lessness, more on the beholder.
SO she has to have a lot of junk in her trunk