Vote for the poem(s) you feel is the best (up to two). Remember to adhere to the "Honor Code" when voting.
While it is understood there is no absolute means to monitor the intent of a vote, we ask each PRC participant to exercise integrity when voting out of respect for the contest:
- Please give each poetry submission an equal opportunity in attaining your vote.
- Please read, or at least skim, all the entries before voting.
- Please do not vote for your friends just because they're your friends.
The Poetry Running Contest puts good faith in its participants to act in an honorable manner.
Contestants, remember, you are required required to vote (and you can't vote for yourself)!
Happy voting!
*Interested new participants should submit their poems here.
Gonna be honest, one of the best weeks I think I've ever seen.
Ultimately voted for Ilvaldi and Blippy.
Blips, I just love the damn poem. It doesn't say much and there's not much to be said about it but it just feels right, and my eyes can't get enough of it so that's that.
Voting for Ilvaldi because of how difficult and bold his poem was; he managed to write something his own using someone else's words. Marvelous structure, good work.
Really wanted to vote for Guilan, because his arrangement was immaculate (and that song he linked is the ****).
Lot of repetitive rhythm this week, not really a bad thing, just noting that a lot of people used similar structures.
@Arbitraryarmor: I dunno if I was supposed to, but I laughed my ass off at your poem. So ridiculously dark, but some of it was absurd to the point where I can't possibly doubt that it's based in reality. "She ****ed like ten dudes," "She through a PB&J at my face," etc. The way the lines are just apoetic facts, without a place in the rhyme or rhythm, I thought it was priceless. Good work dude. Maybe not the most artfully crafted poem (but I guess I'm a posterboy for "less than artful" around here), and I felt like it could have used some work in rhythm and focus, but a lot of great moments. I'd say your only real weaknesses as a writer are structure, and stringing together your lines into a coherent whole, which is something that pretty much everyone struggles with, no matter how good they are.
I'll be very surprised if Blippy doesn't win this one.
Incredible poem, really love the imagery that this one creates.
Honestly, this round is one of the best I've seen since I've written poetry on this forum. I have to give an HM to Zelderex for Albuquerque and Ilvaldi for his unique execution of his poem.
@Arbitraryarmor: I dunno if I was supposed to, but I laughed my ass off at your poem. So ridiculously dark, but some of it was absurd to the point where I can't possibly doubt that it's based in reality. "She ****ed like ten dudes," "She through a PB&J at my face," etc. The way the lines are just apoetic facts, without a place in the rhyme or rhythm, I thought it was priceless. Good work dude. Maybe not the most artfully crafted poem (but I guess I'm a posterboy for "less than artful" around here), and I felt like it could have used some work in rhythm and focus, but a lot of great moments. I'd say your only real weaknesses as a writer are structure, and stringing together your lines into a coherent whole, which is something that pretty much everyone struggles with, no matter how good they are.
The ironic thing is that the weaknesses that you described in this poem were all strong suits of my last poem (at least, in my opinion). I guess that I tried to correct them so hard that I ended up with the antonym of my last poem
Anyways, it wasn't my best work. I'm trying to get a feel for what kinds of poetry are well received here, and these first two weeks have been eye-opening. The feedback is great; keep it up if you don't mind
The ironic thing is that the weaknesses that you described in this poem were all strong suits of my last poem (at least, in my opinion). I guess that I tried to correct them so hard that I ended up with the antonym of my last poem
Anyways, it wasn't my best work. I'm trying to get a feel for what kinds of poetry are well received here, and these first two weeks have been eye-opening. The feedback is great; keep it up if you don't mind
Well as a matter of fact I do mind and I will never say another word to you ever again
well i liked my poem [screw you all!] but hey. i can kind of understand it after reading through the lists because there are four or five good ones that probably would've won in lesser contests. Some that probably wouldn't win but are just funny.
ilvaldi i loved your poem. the metaness of it. pascal is great. lol. it made me smile.
blippy your poem was definitely the most immediately enchanting. i think this is what i read poems for. the immediate connection and feelings and etc.
guilan ... dammit. can't i vote for three poems? maybe i'm too intellectual, sometimes.
queen gothica, rodemy, something i'm noticing is that you two are using the rhyming couplet thing but in poems with that sort of traditional nature i's essential to nail all of the basics, at least imho, definitely including syllable control and feel. e.g. for rodemy, these lines feel really far apart to me:
>He'll string you up and dress you, miss.
And when he's done, trap you with a kiss
the whole poem. this is going to sound harsh but it feels kind of like a lot of cliches that don't have vocal consistency, and the thematic parts need to be really strong to make it a strong poem here, esp. with the competition this week, and i didn't see it.
queen, this is supposed to be used, not use:
>You use to be my ocean's pearl
what can i say. i am pedantic. i liked the cuteness of the last lines though and feel the poem itself was kind of close, though a bit cloying [but that can be a strength!!!!]
>To find my love, my treasure awaits
With only a North Star, and a little fate.
zelderex, i get half of your poem. the other half is a bit of a mystery.
crusible, you have a gift for stating the plain plainly. i just like ornament sometimes.
lucknorris, i'll be honest. i read your poem, thought 'ah, that's good, i bet they felt very clever when they wrote that', and then moved on. it is good. it's pretty clever. i just wasn't really grabbed, personally.
arbitraryarmor, you'll find that different people like different things. write poetry for yourself. **** the critics. else you'll just write love poems and facebook dirges. i didn't vote for your piece because it did feel really ... well. for lack of a better word, kind of kiddish. i don't think the rap format helped and it all seems very ... macho posturing maybe. which i am not. a fan of. but perhaps others are.
you will never appease all the critics all the time.
my mouth is full of winsome lies -
and eyes are full of death besides
but luckily the soul is wise -
it sees beyond my blindness and
forced failure makes a better guise,
so as i come again alive,
it feels like life's a decent plan
so here is the result of my attempt to review all the poems:
iCwalzy: liked line "Skulls are just rubber walls". Ending could have been stronger, maybe if the two end lines had rhymed better it would be stronger.
Blippy: This is good, I am bad a comments.
queen: researched "use to" vs "used to" because of this. Not a fan of "porcelain enchantment", it's too frilly for my tastes. very well done though.
Guil: I really like the song you linked to, and your poem goes perfectly with that song.
LuckN: really liked this a lot. I want to take the "I'll" from the last line and make it an "I" in the middle of the line above, but the poem is great the way it is, voted for this!
arbarm: As you said the rhythm on this is pretty rough. the ending was too sweet and happy for my tastes. that said I did enjoy reading this a lot.
Prev: fun to read but I can't figure out what it means.
Ilvad: I was ultra confused by the formatting here until I figured out the erased words were in white. This just didn't do it for me though. Maybe I wasn't bringing enough to it.
Romy: This is really creepy and I like that! seems kind of long to me though, but that's just cause i'm ultra partial to shorter poems. awesome writing!
Zldrxeee: I like the way this poems flows. can't figure if it has a meaning I'm missing though. gets my second vote!
Ended up voting for LuckNorris and Zelderex. Shout out/consolation prizes to Blippy and Rodemy and queengothica13
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I make words using things
like pen pencil computer
sometimes prolific
sometimes a neuter
I was gonna try to explain my poem to you guys, because it's not worth wracking your brains over anyway, but uh...I really can't.
I'm from Albuquerque, New Mexico the drunk driving capitol of the world (also meth, but that's irrelevant). There was also some mockery of Libertarians who believe that Freedom and Liberty are the highest ideals that can be achieved. So I told it from the Randian point of view that the right to drive while wasted is a right, and that even the families of dead kids shouldn't be able to restrict that right- and as we all know from 1980s republicans, anybody opposed to FREEDOM(!!! ) is clearly a communist.
Hopefully that's all the convincing it should take to recant on any votes cast towards me this week.
I'll admit i understand the issues with my poem, however it's my fingers to blame, it was simply a typo the "USE" vs "USED" thing.. in addition there's another typo further into it. >.< guess i should have edited, but i was in a hurry and haven't been on since i posted it due to medical problems. I however will also admit most my poems will always be 80% rhyme time, and in that usage i actually mean to convey the "melody" of my poem as if it were spoken aloud. I've reasearched and no where does it say each measure has to be exact, many poems are off measured but still rhyme, even a few famous ones... i however will give a non-rhyming poem a shot next time... who knows maybe it's just audience,.. sometimes you got a make a few "radio hits" to get famous right?
I'll admit i understand the issues with my poem, however it's my fingers to blame, it was simply a typo the "USE" vs "USED" thing.. in addition there's another typo further into it. >.< guess i should have edited, but i was in a hurry and haven't been on since i posted it due to medical problems. I however will also admit most my poems will always be 80% rhyme time, and in that usage i actually mean to convey the "melody" of my poem as if it were spoken aloud. I've reasearched and no where does it say each measure has to be exact, many poems are off measured but still rhyme, even a few famous ones... i however will give a non-rhyming poem a shot next time... who knows maybe it's just audience,.. sometimes you got a make a few "radio hits" to get famous right?
Rules are for pussies and english teachers. Do what feels right. If you think it sounds good when a couple lines rhyme, cool. If you want to break scheme, cool. Try and keep it flowing if you can, don't let any predetermined ideas you have about poetry hold you back. Have fun with it, for real though. You can't make someone cry if you can't make them laugh.
EDIT: OH, I didn't realize that MTGS wouldn't censor "pussies." Apologies if that offended anyone, it just felt right.
I'll admit i understand the issues with my poem, however it's my fingers to blame, it was simply a typo the "USE" vs "USED" thing.. in addition there's another typo further into it. >.< guess i should have edited, but i was in a hurry and haven't been on since i posted it due to medical problems. I however will also admit most my poems will always be 80% rhyme time, and in that usage i actually mean to convey the "melody" of my poem as if it were spoken aloud. I've reasearched and no where does it say each measure has to be exact, many poems are off measured but still rhyme, even a few famous ones... i however will give a non-rhyming poem a shot next time... who knows maybe it's just audience,.. sometimes you got a make a few "radio hits" to get famous right?
obviously poems don't need to rhyme or anything. people have different tastes. i was just expressing mine.
pageboy is about viola with a different plot http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelfth_Night
which is why i directly stated the actual name of the play in the poem. in case people were wondering. but it probably could stand to lose half its length. i obscure my subjects on purpose because i don't really want to talk about them.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
my mouth is full of winsome lies -
and eyes are full of death besides
but luckily the soul is wise -
it sees beyond my blindness and
forced failure makes a better guise,
so as i come again alive,
it feels like life's a decent plan
Congratulations to Blippytheslug, the winner of PRC Round 211! I'll be updating the OP, and sending out overdue trophy requests (of which I believe there are only 1 or 2) tonight.
Here are the Poetry submissions for this week:
Pinball Machine by iCwalzy
Pocahontus Moderni by Blippytheslug
my pearl by Queengothica
Song to Osun by Guilan
Damaged Can by Lucknorris
Trapped by ArbitraryArmor
Pageboy by Preve
People Have Very Sound Opinions by Ilvaldi
The Puppet Master by Rodemy
Albuquerque by Zelderex
Lists are Lame by Crusible
Vote for the poem(s) you feel is the best (up to two). Remember to adhere to the "Honor Code" when voting.
While it is understood there is no absolute means to monitor the intent of a vote, we ask each PRC participant to exercise integrity when voting out of respect for the contest:
- Please give each poetry submission an equal opportunity in attaining your vote.
- Please read, or at least skim, all the entries before voting.
- Please do not vote for your friends just because they're your friends.
The Poetry Running Contest puts good faith in its participants to act in an honorable manner.
Contestants, remember, you are required required to vote (and you can't vote for yourself)!
Happy voting!
*Interested new participants should submit their poems here.
Join the Poetry Running Contest!
Ultimately voted for Ilvaldi and Blippy.
Blips, I just love the damn poem. It doesn't say much and there's not much to be said about it but it just feels right, and my eyes can't get enough of it so that's that.
Voting for Ilvaldi because of how difficult and bold his poem was; he managed to write something his own using someone else's words. Marvelous structure, good work.
Really wanted to vote for Guilan, because his arrangement was immaculate (and that song he linked is the ****).
Lot of repetitive rhythm this week, not really a bad thing, just noting that a lot of people used similar structures.
@Arbitraryarmor: I dunno if I was supposed to, but I laughed my ass off at your poem. So ridiculously dark, but some of it was absurd to the point where I can't possibly doubt that it's based in reality. "She ****ed like ten dudes," "She through a PB&J at my face," etc. The way the lines are just apoetic facts, without a place in the rhyme or rhythm, I thought it was priceless. Good work dude. Maybe not the most artfully crafted poem (but I guess I'm a posterboy for "less than artful" around here), and I felt like it could have used some work in rhythm and focus, but a lot of great moments. I'd say your only real weaknesses as a writer are structure, and stringing together your lines into a coherent whole, which is something that pretty much everyone struggles with, no matter how good they are.
Join the Poetry Running Contest!
Incredible poem, really love the imagery that this one creates.
Honestly, this round is one of the best I've seen since I've written poetry on this forum. I have to give an HM to Zelderex for Albuquerque and Ilvaldi for his unique execution of his poem.
Spectacular round.
My Mafia Stats - My Helpdesk
G Omnath, Locus of Mana U Arcum Dagsson BUG The Mimeoplasm GW Gaddock Teeg X Karn, Silver Golem
I guess, technically, your poem is disqualified. I don't much care though, so w/e. If it wins, whatevs.
Were you planning on using that second vote for another entry? I'll just count it there. (I'm a soft hearted man, what can I say)
Join the Poetry Running Contest!
The ironic thing is that the weaknesses that you described in this poem were all strong suits of my last poem (at least, in my opinion). I guess that I tried to correct them so hard that I ended up with the antonym of my last poem
Anyways, it wasn't my best work. I'm trying to get a feel for what kinds of poetry are well received here, and these first two weeks have been eye-opening. The feedback is great; keep it up if you don't mind
Well as a matter of fact I do mind and I will never say another word to you ever again
Join the Poetry Running Contest!
ilvaldi i loved your poem. the metaness of it. pascal is great. lol. it made me smile.
blippy your poem was definitely the most immediately enchanting. i think this is what i read poems for. the immediate connection and feelings and etc.
guilan ... dammit. can't i vote for three poems? maybe i'm too intellectual, sometimes.
queen gothica, rodemy, something i'm noticing is that you two are using the rhyming couplet thing but in poems with that sort of traditional nature i's essential to nail all of the basics, at least imho, definitely including syllable control and feel. e.g. for rodemy, these lines feel really far apart to me:
>He'll string you up and dress you, miss.
And when he's done, trap you with a kiss
the whole poem. this is going to sound harsh but it feels kind of like a lot of cliches that don't have vocal consistency, and the thematic parts need to be really strong to make it a strong poem here, esp. with the competition this week, and i didn't see it.
queen, this is supposed to be used, not use:
>You use to be my ocean's pearl
what can i say. i am pedantic. i liked the cuteness of the last lines though and feel the poem itself was kind of close, though a bit cloying [but that can be a strength!!!!]
>To find my love, my treasure awaits
With only a North Star, and a little fate.
zelderex, i get half of your poem. the other half is a bit of a mystery.
crusible, you have a gift for stating the plain plainly. i just like ornament sometimes.
lucknorris, i'll be honest. i read your poem, thought 'ah, that's good, i bet they felt very clever when they wrote that', and then moved on. it is good. it's pretty clever. i just wasn't really grabbed, personally.
arbitraryarmor, you'll find that different people like different things. write poetry for yourself. **** the critics. else you'll just write love poems and facebook dirges. i didn't vote for your piece because it did feel really ... well. for lack of a better word, kind of kiddish. i don't think the rap format helped and it all seems very ... macho posturing maybe. which i am not. a fan of. but perhaps others are.
you will never appease all the critics all the time.
and eyes are full of death besides
but luckily the soul is wise -
it sees beyond my blindness and
forced failure makes a better guise,
so as i come again alive,
it feels like life's a decent plan
iCwalzy: liked line "Skulls are just rubber walls". Ending could have been stronger, maybe if the two end lines had rhymed better it would be stronger.
Blippy: This is good, I am bad a comments.
queen: researched "use to" vs "used to" because of this. Not a fan of "porcelain enchantment", it's too frilly for my tastes. very well done though.
Guil: I really like the song you linked to, and your poem goes perfectly with that song.
LuckN: really liked this a lot. I want to take the "I'll" from the last line and make it an "I" in the middle of the line above, but the poem is great the way it is, voted for this!
arbarm: As you said the rhythm on this is pretty rough. the ending was too sweet and happy for my tastes. that said I did enjoy reading this a lot.
Prev: fun to read but I can't figure out what it means.
Ilvad: I was ultra confused by the formatting here until I figured out the erased words were in white. This just didn't do it for me though. Maybe I wasn't bringing enough to it.
Romy: This is really creepy and I like that! seems kind of long to me though, but that's just cause i'm ultra partial to shorter poems. awesome writing!
Zldrxeee: I like the way this poems flows. can't figure if it has a meaning I'm missing though. gets my second vote!
Ended up voting for LuckNorris and Zelderex. Shout out/consolation prizes to Blippy and Rodemy and queengothica13
like pen pencil computer
sometimes prolific
sometimes a neuter
I'm from Albuquerque, New Mexico the drunk driving capitol of the world (also meth, but that's irrelevant). There was also some mockery of Libertarians who believe that Freedom and Liberty are the highest ideals that can be achieved. So I told it from the Randian point of view that the right to drive while wasted is a right, and that even the families of dead kids shouldn't be able to restrict that right- and as we all know from 1980s republicans, anybody opposed to FREEDOM(!!! ) is clearly a communist.
Hopefully that's all the convincing it should take to recant on any votes cast towards me this week.
Join the Poetry Running Contest!
http://kersmtgalters.deviantart.com/
To buy some of my alters check out my ebay page and add me to your favorites here:http://myworld.ebay.com/queen_gothica13?_trksid=p2047675.l2559
Rules are for pussies and english teachers. Do what feels right. If you think it sounds good when a couple lines rhyme, cool. If you want to break scheme, cool. Try and keep it flowing if you can, don't let any predetermined ideas you have about poetry hold you back. Have fun with it, for real though. You can't make someone cry if you can't make them laugh.
EDIT: OH, I didn't realize that MTGS wouldn't censor "pussies." Apologies if that offended anyone, it just felt right.
Join the Poetry Running Contest!
obviously poems don't need to rhyme or anything. people have different tastes. i was just expressing mine.
pageboy is about viola with a different plot
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelfth_Night
which is why i directly stated the actual name of the play in the poem. in case people were wondering. but it probably could stand to lose half its length. i obscure my subjects on purpose because i don't really want to talk about them.
and eyes are full of death besides
but luckily the soul is wise -
it sees beyond my blindness and
forced failure makes a better guise,
so as i come again alive,
it feels like life's a decent plan
Join the Poetry Running Contest!