Why do they need a clone of Joan to plant something in the hay the real Joan was burned in?
Why would Joan want to return to this alien future, rather than remaining in her France to continue the war?
You have Joan, but other than her name and a brief fit about being an abomination to God (which seemed a little too forced as it is), there’s not much to make you think of her AS Joan of Arc.
twins existed back then, too, after all.
How did they get a space station/time travel abilities in the first place
the course of WWII?
If you couldn’t tell, I am quite confounded here.
Quote from you »That is irrelevent in my eyes. The reader only needs to know that they have the ability. That's the same as asking why Hannibal Lecter is able to bypass psychological tests. Theres a reason, but the reader shouldn't be focusing on this because the writer hasn't given theme reason to. Personal belife here.
Adherence to Prompt: 4 - An interesting use of Joan.
Characterization: 7 - I like these guys. You do a good job of making every character distinct. Your biggest weakness is Angela, who never really gets described. I get the feeling that you did this so as not to tip your hand that she's Joan, but it just makes her character confusing and blank.
Plot/Structure: 6 - Confusing! You have a good idea, but this story needs 2-3 rewrites so you can get a handle on a squirming plot. Your timeline is inconsistant even for a time travel story... didn't they return to just before midnight, December 31st, 1999? If so, then why did it never hit 2000?
Style: 5 - There are a few stylistic problems. Nothing is really described. Also, blades in the air don't sound like anything in particular to me. A lack of description just makes your confusing plot all the more confusing.
Creativity: 6 - Very interesting, but it needs development. A few rewrites would make this story much stronger.
It is creative, I'll give you that. But creative isn't compelling unless you justify why things are happening.
Take a hard look at the story yourself, with a copy of Strunk and White handy, and your style will become clearer.
This story bristles with creative ideas not realized, and feels like it was rushed without much attention to format, editing, and general polish. As seems to have happened with many of the entries, I think the story you wanted to tell was far bigger than the short story format – there are a lot of tantalizing pieces of the freaky, clone-ridden future' the WWII setting, and Joan's own time, but the connections, more importantly the need for these periods to connect and affect each other, started shaky and only got more confusing.
I really admire how well-developed your original creations and the real protagonists (Joan only seems a supporting character) are for you, and there's nothing more tiresome than exposition that overly explains the strange elements of this kind of story – but if you don't let the reader in on some of the specifics, they'll get as lost as I got. You clearly know your way around the future you've built, let us in on it more.