Ok. So far I've finished the first chapter and it starts off with Terra as a very young girl (maybe 4 or 5) with her mother, Ronda.
I've just finished chapter one today and I need some oppinions and reviews to what you think. Does it leave you wanting to read on and on or not?
The clashing sound of dishes and silverware rang through the house.
Young Terra bawled into tears as her mom started ranting and cursing aloud.
"Quiet little one," Ronda said," it's ok".
She scooped Terra up into her arms and started running her fingers through Terra's silky chocolate curls.
"You look so much like your father," Ronda cooed.
Young Terra giggled and played with her mom's golden locks and looked up into her mom's icy blue eyes.
"Oh sugars," Ronda said," I need to pick up those broken plates."
As she set Terra down, Terra crawled like a little mouse hiding from a cat.
Terra crawled to a big sized room where her crib layed along with her mom's bed.
Pictures of flowers and roses flourished the room giving it a warm feeling
"Terra," Ronda called from the kitchen.
Ronda ran into the room to find that Terra was giggling and playing with jewelry on the drawer.
"You little runt," she chuckled while scooping up Terra.
With Terra in her arms, Ronda strolled over to a nightstand that contained a shining red rose in a glass container. Ronda removed the top and cautiously retrieved the red rose. She took a moment and examined it with a gracious smile and then nuzzled it against Terra's cheek. Terra held it close and tried to discern the scent. Terra gently pushed it against her baby cheeks and smiled happily.
Ronda took the rose from Terra and hugged her close.
"I love you so much," she whispered softly.
Terra wrapped her small arms around her mother's chest and rested her smooth head upon it. Terra was completely unaware of much that was going on, but she did know what a hug from her gentle mother was.
Her young heart lay upon her mother. Terra felt safe and protected while in the arms of her mom. She was the only person that Terra really knew. As young as Terra was, she had no memory or idea that she had a father. Terra thought that only her mother existed with her as a gentle soul to protect her.
Suddenly, there was a ringing sound coming from the living room. Ronda set Terra down and hurried to the door.Ronda opened the door to find that there were three people dressed in white. The three stepped through and entered the house; examining the whole place as if looking for something.
"Where is it?" the tall man with black shades asked.
"Wha...What are you talking about?" Ronda looked worried.
The man ran his fingers through his short, spikey hair. He carried a deep voice with a white tux and pants that clothed his strong body.
"The V.I.A.L., Ronda," the man sounded irritated," I know you betrayed us and planned to rid the V.I.A.L."
Ronda gulped and the man whistled to the two ladies dressed in white.
"Get the child," the man said with a smirk on his face.
In the blink of an eye the two women returned. A woman with short curly brown hair and with a gun in her belt strap around her waist strolled back beside the man with young Terra in her arms.
Tears came to Ronda's eyes as she spoke, "Don't hurt her".
"We won't if you give us what we're looking for," the man spoke.
Ronda's eyes filled with tears as she slowly started walking back further inot the kitchen where the bag of broken plate pieces were.
"Now give us the V.I.A.L.!" the man hollered at the top of his lungs.
Ronda suddenly hurled the shards of plates at all three. One in particular striked the woman holding Terra in her right eye. The woman screamed and immediently dropped the child as Ronda dived for her.
"Get her!" the man screamed in pain.
Ronda raced towards her room and shut and locked the door behind her.
"Keep quiet here," Ronda said hiding Terra under the bed, "Everything will be fi-," the door suddenly burst open and a loud gunshot rang through the house. Blood splattered all over the room and the rose in Ronda's hand showed darker blood spots. Ronda's eyes showed no emotion but an empty fear. Her body looked cold and she didn't budge a bit. Terra wailed and held the rose that fell from her mom's hand.
"Shut the kid up," the man said panting.
A sudden hand reached under the bed and grasped Terra's trembling little hands; pulling her out from the darkness and into the light.
Not bad. It starts out somewhat fast which caught my attention. Personally I would like to continue reading this story.
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I've just finished chapter one today and I need some oppinions and reviews to what you think. Does it leave you wanting to read on and on or not?
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