I was in the store the other day, getting some strawberry milk because it’s tasty. Walking to the counter, I noticed something interesting on a bag of organic Cheetos. No, it wasn’t the fact that they were organic Cheetos, which was pretty funny in itself, but there was something on the package.
Inscribed in bold red letters, it read “NOW EVEN CHEESIER!!” At first I thought nothing of it. Then I put some more thought into it and realized that every time I had seen a bag of Cheetos, ever, in my life, they had said “NOW EVEN CHEESIER!!” Is this possible? For the entirety of my life at least, Cheetos have been saying that they’re “NOW EVEN CHEESIER!!” Does this mean that the amount of cheese in a Cheeto has been steadily increasing over time?
Where in 1978, say, I might reach into a bag of Cheetos and find no cheese whatsoever, they soon became “EVEN CHEESIER!!” By 2010, I’ll reach into a bag of Cheetos and simply pull out a hunk of Gouda. Soon afterwards, if they keep this up, they’ll need to increase bag sizes so they can add more cheese to be “EVEN CHEESIER!!”
Eventually, the bags will be the size of California, people will be fatter than ever, and the cows will slump over from exhaustion.
I bet they never say "now with more cheese" because I don't think there's any cheese in them, actually. Kind of like how a lot of products use "chocolatey chips". They're not chocolate, they're brown candy.
Kind of like how nasty coke must be if they have to tell you to enjoy it. Maybe someday there will be a little "or else" under it. Good times. Anyway I enjoyed this Goblinboy thanks for th elaugh. Now what to do about those poor people locked up and beaten till they drink coke. I'm comming for you! Eh my knee hurts maybe some other day.
What you don't see is the 1 bag they produce every year that says "Now with no cheese!" Thus they are able to truthfully say "now even cheesier!" for each bag produced after that, knowing that in a year they'll be able to repeat the process.
OMG a chart!
January 1: night of the tos
January 2: Sacred burning of the tos, followed by the Era of the Cheetos we know and love. <- (This is actually the only time they are 'Dangerously Cheesy', but thanks to the 'WARNING: THIS COFFEE IS FRIGGIN HOT!' laws, they have to say that on all the bags)
December 31: Production is halted before Critical Cheese is reached, and Chester begins the secret Ritual of the tos.
You didn't hear this from me
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Mucho thx to Erasmus of Erad's Sig Shop for my gosu 'Tog-eatin VICIOUS KAVU !!!
Quote from Sir Blakely »
turbo...my god. you have reached Uber-Nerd-Dom (TM).
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
Inscribed in bold red letters, it read “NOW EVEN CHEESIER!!” At first I thought nothing of it. Then I put some more thought into it and realized that every time I had seen a bag of Cheetos, ever, in my life, they had said “NOW EVEN CHEESIER!!” Is this possible? For the entirety of my life at least, Cheetos have been saying that they’re “NOW EVEN CHEESIER!!” Does this mean that the amount of cheese in a Cheeto has been steadily increasing over time?
Where in 1978, say, I might reach into a bag of Cheetos and find no cheese whatsoever, they soon became “EVEN CHEESIER!!” By 2010, I’ll reach into a bag of Cheetos and simply pull out a hunk of Gouda. Soon afterwards, if they keep this up, they’ll need to increase bag sizes so they can add more cheese to be “EVEN CHEESIER!!”
Eventually, the bags will be the size of California, people will be fatter than ever, and the cows will slump over from exhaustion.
Poor cows.
Don't worry, cow's will rebel. Ever play Diablo 2? If not, this picture will help.
Damn that Chester Cheetah...the archfiend, what a trickster...He's like a cheesy Iago...
Owner of Senori's Soul
Friend of RBS, FFFB, 499, Mythos, House Dimir, Rakdos, and Hyrule.
Dictator of
No, just kidding. That was pretty funny, especially the prediction that future Cheetos will be just a large hunk of Gouda.
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showpost.php?p=4557651&postcount=1
TheWarden's Creative Commons Music Pick Project (Retired):
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showthread.php?t=336498
OMG a chart!
January 1: night of the tos
January 2: Sacred burning of the tos, followed by the Era of the Cheetos we know and love.
December 31: Production is halted before Critical Cheese is reached, and Chester begins the secret Ritual of the tos.
You didn't hear this from me