This happened February of 2011. I still have the text conversations, my plane ticket receipt, and his phone number. I don't know if his number has changed since then. This is not my original MTGS name, but I can provide additional proof if the details below are somehow not enough. I'm not interested in pressing charges; I'm sharing publicly so I can move on with my life.
WARNING: This post contains unfiltered details about what was done to me and who did it to me. If we are to move forward as a society, we cannot keep these things a secret any more. We must speak up; silence only assents.
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I was visiting Texas for an event. I needed a place to sleep for one night because I accidentally booked my flight one night earlier than the hotel room was reserved for. I also needed a ride to the event the next morning, as I had no vehicle of my own. It was late when I arrived (11:15pm), and I had a friend pick me up. Her apartment had no room for me, but she had a friend named Micah who said he could house me on his living room futon for the night. That friend was the user Blue on MTGS.
So we went to Blue's apartment. I was introduced to Blue and a fourth person who is also on MTGS, but I will keep their name private. We talked and had a good time. I offered to cook a meal for the four of us. Blue even took me to the store to get food. When we got back to his place, I cooked a meal and Blue provided us with some wine. It was really late by the time we began eating. My friend and the fourth person ate and ran, leaving me with Blue.
After dinner, the need to sleep hit me hard, so I got ready to sleep on his futon. I laid down, but it was small and incredibly uncomfortable. I initially said I'd make it work. He had a king size bed in his bedroom though, so I took him up on his offer to sleep on it.
I told him I was exhausted and I needed a good night sleep, so I was thankful to share a comfortable bed with him. We chatted for a bit as I got ready for bed again, and I finally joined him in his bed and was ready to fall asleep.
Then he warned me that he was a cuddler. That seemed fine, so I said if I wanted to snuggle up, I would.
So, after what felt like a minute later, he started cuddling me. Okay, no big deal. I was in a daze of sleepiness anyway and a big warm body holding me close helped me deal with sleeping in a strange bed.
Then, without warning, he started feeling me up and grinding on me and moaning. So I told him, hey, I need to sleep, please stop. He whined and I pushed him away as best I could. He was much, much larger than me, and I was already exhausted. My body was desperately trying to make me sleep at this point, and I just did what I could to fend him off and find peaceful sleep.
I fell asleep.
I woke up in a weak daze an indeterminable amount of time later. Blue was on top of me and was initiating sex with me. I tried to will my body to move and push him off, but I couldn't. I was dizzy and my head ached, so I could only lay there helpless, enduring the rape, and let him finish. I don't know when I fell back asleep, but I woke up again at some point and he was asleep. I cried silently.
I slept some more.
I woke up in the early morning and felt terrible. I grabbed my things and considered calling a taxi, but he woke up before I could get out of there. He said he had to go to work early that day and could drive me right now, so I just accepted a ride to my event. In the car ride I tried to keep conversation to a minimum. The night before was never discussed, but he acted friendly towards me as if nothing was wrong. As if it was no big deal, as if he had no idea how much I was scared of him. He reminded me that he would be happy to pick me up when it was time for me to go to the airport, and suggested he pick me up early so I could spend more time with him. I told him I wasn't sure if I'd hsve time, and then I was dropped off without incident. I was relieved to be away from him.
After the event, he was supposed to drive me to the airport, but I took a taxi instead, avoiding him.
I never talked to him again.
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This is an experience that has haunted me for 7 years. It hurts me every time it plays out in my head. I'm only now comfortable coming out about it. I'm tired of this pain. It's exhausting. I'm ready to move on.
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WARNING: This post contains unfiltered details about what was done to me and who did it to me. If we are to move forward as a society, we cannot keep these things a secret any more. We must speak up; silence only assents.
---------------
I was visiting Texas for an event. I needed a place to sleep for one night because I accidentally booked my flight one night earlier than the hotel room was reserved for. I also needed a ride to the event the next morning, as I had no vehicle of my own. It was late when I arrived (11:15pm), and I had a friend pick me up. Her apartment had no room for me, but she had a friend named Micah who said he could house me on his living room futon for the night. That friend was the user Blue on MTGS.
So we went to Blue's apartment. I was introduced to Blue and a fourth person who is also on MTGS, but I will keep their name private. We talked and had a good time. I offered to cook a meal for the four of us. Blue even took me to the store to get food. When we got back to his place, I cooked a meal and Blue provided us with some wine. It was really late by the time we began eating. My friend and the fourth person ate and ran, leaving me with Blue.
After dinner, the need to sleep hit me hard, so I got ready to sleep on his futon. I laid down, but it was small and incredibly uncomfortable. I initially said I'd make it work. He had a king size bed in his bedroom though, so I took him up on his offer to sleep on it.
I told him I was exhausted and I needed a good night sleep, so I was thankful to share a comfortable bed with him. We chatted for a bit as I got ready for bed again, and I finally joined him in his bed and was ready to fall asleep.
Then he warned me that he was a cuddler. That seemed fine, so I said if I wanted to snuggle up, I would.
So, after what felt like a minute later, he started cuddling me. Okay, no big deal. I was in a daze of sleepiness anyway and a big warm body holding me close helped me deal with sleeping in a strange bed.
Then, without warning, he started feeling me up and grinding on me and moaning. So I told him, hey, I need to sleep, please stop. He whined and I pushed him away as best I could. He was much, much larger than me, and I was already exhausted. My body was desperately trying to make me sleep at this point, and I just did what I could to fend him off and find peaceful sleep.
I fell asleep.
I woke up in a weak daze an indeterminable amount of time later. Blue was on top of me and was initiating sex with me. I tried to will my body to move and push him off, but I couldn't. I was dizzy and my head ached, so I could only lay there helpless, enduring the rape, and let him finish. I don't know when I fell back asleep, but I woke up again at some point and he was asleep. I cried silently.
I slept some more.
I woke up in the early morning and felt terrible. I grabbed my things and considered calling a taxi, but he woke up before I could get out of there. He said he had to go to work early that day and could drive me right now, so I just accepted a ride to my event. In the car ride I tried to keep conversation to a minimum. The night before was never discussed, but he acted friendly towards me as if nothing was wrong. As if it was no big deal, as if he had no idea how much I was scared of him. He reminded me that he would be happy to pick me up when it was time for me to go to the airport, and suggested he pick me up early so I could spend more time with him. I told him I wasn't sure if I'd hsve time, and then I was dropped off without incident. I was relieved to be away from him.
After the event, he was supposed to drive me to the airport, but I took a taxi instead, avoiding him.
I never talked to him again.
---------------
This is an experience that has haunted me for 7 years. It hurts me every time it plays out in my head. I'm only now comfortable coming out about it. I'm tired of this pain. It's exhausting. I'm ready to move on.