I for one, normally don't like too much small talk while I'm let a tourney. It normally gets on my nerves when people just keep talking about stuff other than the game. But last Friday at FNM I was sitting next to a couple of guys that cracked me up. One of them was like me, a control player who really was trying to concentrate. The other, an Asian Jund player with a heavy accent who kept spewing out some of the funniest one liners I've ever heard.
My favorite was when he was playing with 3 lands in play, none of them sources of green, and every turn he'd draw hoping for his full-art Unhinged forest. He would say: "Show me the green card! Show me my green card so I can stay in this country!"
Finally, after about 5 one liners, about 4 of us nearby just burst out laughing.
Any stories of awesomely hilarious one liners while playing??
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:symg::symw:Green White Eldrazi Ramp/Control:symw::symg:
:symu::symw::symb:Esper Control:symb::symw::symu:
MTGO:
:symr::symg:Titan Valakut Ramp:symg::symr:
This one guy at our shop was just cracking me up with jace one liners. It's a bit hard to explain and you'd probably have to be there but he was saying stuff like "oh fateseal me yeah hhhmmm" in a sexy voice and saying "exile me".
I was playing a draft match, and I had a Serra Angel out. I went to swing with it, and by accident made the motion to tap it. The other player untapped it and said:
"I know you want to tap that, but she's a respectable gal with vigilance."
Good times...
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Check out the thread for my cube if you have the time, and tell me how terrible it is.
Generals meant to be drafted first in a single pack of 6 cards.
And here is the actual cube, meant to be drafted in 4 regular sized packs. (60 card decks)
During an FNM ROE draft, I had drafted Eldrazi ramp and had a game with 2 Artisans and an Ulamog's Crusher in play. I attacked with all 3, and while trying to do combat math, my opponent said, "So...how much annihilation are we talking about here?"
My college hosts Friday night standards and drafts with help of a store the next town over. First night we're playing a standard tourney, it's the top 8. One of the matches ends, loser gets up, winner reaches out his hand and says Good Game. The loser, being sore, responds "Well you might have beat me, but I'm gonna go make out with my girlfriend now, so I guess I really win!" The winner quickly responds "Not if I get there first!" and bolts out the door ahead of him.
There are plenty of things that happen at me lgs, but at the moment I can't think of anything good thats not an inside joke or one that you would have to know the person to get it.
This little kid (10 or 12-ish) and his friend walk over to the draft table, observe that we're playing MTG, and the first one says, "This game is soooooooooooooooo gay." Then he turns to his friend and says, "Let's get some yu-gi-oh cards."
We were drafting Un-sets for fun and one guy dropped two Little Girls turn 1. Turn two he swung with them and I heard his opponent whisper "You sick bastard... tapping little girls. And two at once, no less!" He got to be Pedophile Man the rest of the night.
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DCI Level 2 Judge
Modern: GRB Jund BRG RBU Grixis Delver UBR Legacy: W Death & Taxes W GRB Punishing Jund BRG GUR Canadian Threshold RUG Commander: RUG Maelstrom Wanderer GUR
This isn't really a oneliner but I thought I'd post it anyways. There is this major ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺, here by referred to as Douche, who plays at the store me and my friends go to and no one there likes him but he always goes either 4-0 or 3-1. So one night he was playing one of the nicest guys in our location, here by referred to as Guy, and in the first game Douche won quickly and started being a ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺, saying Guy's deck sucked and he was bad. Then game two Guy destroyed him with optimal conditioning and was a nice guy about it. Then game 3 Douche got total land screw and lost completely. Than Guy put out his hand and said good game. Douche refused and walked away. Then this other person who HATES Douche stood up and yelled "Guy! Did you just play Douche? Did you Just beat Douche? You Just beat Douche?!? You just beat the best! That means you're now the best! Hey, Douche. Better luck next time." The whole time he was yelling everyone in the store was stifling there laughter and Douche just sat there and silently cried.
I run B/W Abyssal Persecutor in Standard, which runs a full playset of Zealous Persecution. I LOVE announcing my Zealous Persecution by saying "My persecutor wishes to persecute zealously now" when I play it with The Persecutor on board.
When I get bored in a game that is not a tourny, I goof around. When someone ends their turn and says, "Go." I follow with "nads." Yeah, I know, I'm a big child, but I have fun when the opportune moment presents itself.
In the past, when I would play w/ a friend and I would say "Go ahead." He would follow it up with "Why did you just call me a goat head?"
Not that funny in type/written words, but when you hear it on a weekly basis, the redundency gets to you & it actually starts to get funny.
I was at an FNM doing standard, and about halfway thorugh the match it just so happened to get pretty quiet for whatever reason (everyone was concentrating ect.). Out of the blue, someone loudly announces "I lightning bolt you.....three times." to which someone next him responds "That is something you NEVER want to hear!" Everybody at the time got a kick out of it.
My favorite was when he was playing with 3 lands in play, none of them sources of green, and every turn he'd draw hoping for his full-art Unhinged forest. He would say: "Show me the green card! Show me my green card so I can stay in this country!"
Finally, after about 5 one liners, about 4 of us nearby just burst out laughing.
Any stories of awesomely hilarious one liners while playing??
:symu::symw::symb:Esper Control:symb::symw::symu:
MTGO:
:symr::symg:Titan Valakut Ramp:symg::symr:
"I know you want to tap that, but she's a respectable gal with vigilance."
Good times...
Generals meant to be drafted first in a single pack of 6 cards.
And here is the actual cube, meant to be drafted in 4 regular sized packs. (60 card decks)
his life's down to 3, my life's still 17, I had too many merfolk Lords, and it's my last turn.
he only had one Gatekeeper of Malakir on his side.
Me: What'd you need? It's over *laughs*
Stranger: (whispers) target player sacrifices himself.... please...
I chose work."
:D:D:D
Extended:
RGUWHypergensisNeed new a extended deckLegacy: RGBW Aggro Loam
Legacy: RGW Shamefully Unoriginal Zoo
There are plenty of things that happen at me lgs, but at the moment I can't think of anything good thats not an inside joke or one that you would have to know the person to get it.
WUBRGCommander Decklists - PaperWUBRG
CCCCCommander Decklists - TheorycraftCCCC
Sig Credit: Pegasus Bishop
I nearly pissed myself laughing.
Modern:
GRB Jund BRG
RBU Grixis Delver UBR
Legacy:
W Death & Taxes W
GRB Punishing Jund BRG
GUR Canadian Threshold RUG
Commander:
RUG Maelstrom Wanderer GUR
"Ach, NO! YUea fraed muh K'mpan'n! Yuear goonna pueay fur dat!"
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showthread.php?p=9203201#post9203201
In the past, when I would play w/ a friend and I would say "Go ahead." He would follow it up with "Why did you just call me a goat head?"
Not that funny in type/written words, but when you hear it on a weekly basis, the redundency gets to you & it actually starts to get funny.