So, a general topic on having kids, in a lighthearted way. Is it a good idea, a moral idea, how many kids, is it enjoyable? I also am interested in how many people here have kids and how many, so say if you do when you post.
My daughter just turned 5 months today. Its pretty awesome. She's are only one right now, and I don't think we're going to have any more. Its an enjoyable, though stressful experience. Its something I really wouldn't want to deny to anyone, but we ourselves waited until we could afford to raise a child. I generally think having children is a good idea, but I am conflicted on the morality re: overpopulation, which isn't as much a problem in the U.S. as it is in other parts of the world, though I do feel pretty strongly that people should limit the number of children they have to five or less. I'm interest to see others' opinions on this, there are some pretty deep issues surrounding the act of having children, especially the number.
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The Meaning of Life: "M-hmm. Well, it's nothing very special. Uh, try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations"
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Whether its blue players countering your spells, red players burning you out, or combo, if you have a problem with an aspect of Magic's gameplay, you can fix it!
Step 1: Identify the problem. What aspect of Magic don't you like? Step 2: Find out how others deal with the problem. How do players deal with this aspect of the game when they run into it? Step 3: Do what those players do. Step 4: No more problem. Bonus: You are now better at Magic. Enjoy those extra wins!
Well if you believe that you yourself have added value to the world than you should likely strive to ethically add 2 children to this earth (one for yourself and one for your partner) Since you can likely raise both children to add atleast as much to the world as will be lost when you expire (die). If you believe your value is exceptionally high you should create additional offspring's, Morally however, You should ONLY have children when you can aford them. It isn't right to bring up a child unless you can provide them AT LEAST as much as you yourself had hopefully more. Its not fair to expect others tocover yourcosts, Its not fair to the child to expect to strive with less than optmial starting base. I belive the average cost of a child from 0-unviersity was quoted at 300K so save up that much money and than decide if you want the child.
my daughter is 2 (and a half!), and my son is 8 months. We will probably have 2 to 3 more kids, although we're not sure how many of those will be adopted vs. natural births yet.
The hardest part is cascading nightime crying. The two year old wakes up and is upset that her animal fell out of the bed which wakes up the 8 month old who is upset that he's awake and.... my wife and I lose 2 hours of sleep.
On the overpopulation front... I don't htink thats a big deal. From a rational perspective adding more people in a non-overcrowded country will have minimal, if any, affect on countires having problems feeding their population. Refraining form having a child because of "world overpopulation" is like eating all your food at dinner because "there are kids starving in Africa".
I have 4 children, 25,20,18,16. Girls bookend the boys in the middle. I personally love kids, I love what they represent, the future. I wanted a huge family, 6 or 7 kids, but stopped at 4. Or I should say, my wife stopped us at 4.
On the over population front. If you can take care of the kids you have (feeding, clothing..) I dont think that will be an issue. How many people/couples dont have any children? It would take a few generations of people breeding like rabbits to start pushing the resources.
Just remember, what is cute at 6 months old, isnt cute at 2 years old, and what is cute at 2 years old, isnt cute to their 4K/kindergarten teacher probably wont feel the same way. When kids reach 11 or 12 years old they know everything and their parents are the dumbest people in the world. As a parnet you just have to weather the storm, they come around.
I love him. But I have a mental disposition that causes me to act differently than most people.
I see people all the time with pictures of their wife and kids, in their wallet, on their desks, they talk about them, they swoon about their feats, etc. They celebrate being a father/mother and all the joys etc.
I however, refuse to have pictures, I don't celebrate, I don't swoon, I don't go gaga about it. I don't share it like it's some big accomplishment.
I am just one person in a giant sea of people, and my wife is just one wife in a sea of wives, and my kid just one kid in a sea of kids.
We may be unique, but we are not special. We are only unique in the same way each individual minnow is unique. We, like everyone else, are easily replaceable, and no great benefit or harm to the grand scheme of existence.
Having kids, procreating, is simply a biological choice on whether you feel you should extend your bloodline into the future.
Some people choose not to. Me and my wife chose to do so.
There is fun, good times, Zoo's, parks, building sand castles at the beach, etc. But there is also some serious stress and hardship. Bills, food, healthcare, etc.
My only concern is raising him to be GOOD, everything else is secondary.
I don't care if he is is gay, straight, a musician, a sports star, a nerd, a jock, or whatever. I just want him to be intelligent, honest, compassionate, generous, and brave.
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Thanks to Xenphire @ Inkfox for the amazing new sig
“Thus strangely are our souls constructed, and by slight ligaments
are we bound to prosperity and ruin.”
― Mary Shelley, Frankenstein
If you have the ability to raise your kids in a way that leaves them as intelligent and productive members of society, you have a DUTY to have as many kids as you can.
If you have the ability to raise your kids in a way that leaves them as intelligent and productive members of society, you have a DUTY to have as many kids as you can.
Otherwise the world will end up like "Idiocracy"
"You drink that toilet stuff??"
Idiocracy is a comedy written by screenwriters. It is very funny, and very unscientific.
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Vive, vale. Siquid novisti rectius istis,
candidus inperti; si nil, his utere mecum.
I do not, under any circumstances, want children. I think having one would ruin my life and derail any plans I have for my future.
Moreover, I think many people who have had children probably shouldn't have because they aren't financially, personally or emotionally equipped to give that child the best life possible. I feel those people should have reached the same conclusion as I did: that despite what you want to do, if you can't provide a child with a good life, you're intentionally creating a person and setting them up for failure. This is not an easy world to live in, and I think bringing a new life into it and then putting obstacles in its path to a decent life is the ultimate example of hubris. Some people are so caught up in wanting to have a child that they don't stop to think if they should, and at the end of the day it's that innocent new life that suffers for it. It's a vanity project for some people.
Chris-Chan and Nick Bate are evidence of Mikey's post.
I see children as something of a consumation of a husband and wife's love. A symbol of the strength of their relationship. Raising the kids takes both of you. Each can help the child succeed in an area where you or your spouse may've failed. What's more, I think one of the greatest things we can teach our kids is that nothing worthwhile in life is easy. Rise to the challenge and celebrate your victories and learn from your defeats. That is what makes life worth it. I can't help but think that IcecreamMan80 has a bit of residual One-Winged Angel Syndrome. My advice is don't worry about a scheme of existence, or other English-major tier concepts--worry about yourself, your goals, friends and family. What inspired your outlook and choices, IM80?
And no, he was not planned, nor do I have $300,000 saved up specifically to cover every little cost one could possibly imagine for child rearing. Nor would I imagine that anyone but the most upper middle class or rich could even save that much money in the first place solely for the rearing of a child.
So, I apologize ahead of time for apparently breeding a child that has no chance at ever living a happy life because I wasn't rich enough to be able to cater to his every need from Age 0 to 25 right off the bat. Forgive me.
Regardless of that, I believe it to be the most amazing experience in the world. And so long as you actually plan on raising them right and giving a damn about teaching them to be a good person in life than you should be free to experience it if you so choose.
There's too many parents nowadays that don't give a damn about their child and just let them do whatever, or want to be their "friend" more than their parent. And that just ruins kids. I hope to be apart of a generation of parents who will see the insanity of todays children and work towards making a better generation built on honesty, generosity, humility and courage.
Congratulations and good luck. You, sir, are in for some hard - though rewarding, if rumors are to be believed - days ahead.
And no, he was not planned, nor do I have $300,000 saved up specifically to cover every little cost one could possibly imagine for child rearing. Nor would I imagine that anyone but the most upper middle class or rich could even save that much money in the first place solely for the rearing of a child.
Well that cost is spread over the course of a child's first eighteen years, so I think you've got some time to come up with the skrillah. Kids don't require a lump sum investment upon birth.
So, I apologize ahead of time for apparently breeding a child that has no chance at ever living a happy life because I wasn't rich enough to be able to cater to his every need from Age 0 to 25 right off the bat. Forgive me.
I do not, under any circumstances, want children. I think having one would ruin my life and derail any plans I have for my future.
Moreover, I think many people who have had children probably shouldn't have because they aren't financially, personally or emotionally equipped to give that child the best life possible. I feel those people should have reached the same conclusion as I did: that despite what you want to do, if you can't provide a child with a good life, you're intentionally creating a person and setting them up for failure. This is not an easy world to live in, and I think bringing a new life into it and then putting obstacles in its path to a decent life is the ultimate example of hubris. Some people are so caught up in wanting to have a child that they don't stop to think if they should, and at the end of the day it's that innocent new life that suffers for it. It's a vanity project for some people.
Bold emphasis mine.
This tells me otherwise, but to each their own. I've chosen to initiate some self deprecating passive aggressiveness in order to keep this debate as light hearted as possible. Because my real feelings on the subject would probably get me infracted.
I do not, under any circumstances, want children. I think having one would ruin my life and derail any plans I have for my future.
Moreover, I think many people who have had children probably shouldn't have because they aren't financially, personally or emotionally equipped to give that child the best life possible. I feel those people should have reached the same conclusion as I did: that despite what you want to do, if you can't provide a child with a good life, you're intentionally creating a person and setting them up for failure. This is not an easy world to live in, and I think bringing a new life into it and then putting obstacles in its path to a decent life is the ultimate example of hubris. Some people are so caught up in wanting to have a child that they don't stop to think if they should, and at the end of the day it's that innocent new life that suffers for it. It's a vanity project for some people.
Bold emphasis mine.
This tells me otherwise, but to each their own.
Yes, obstacles. A child can potentially overcome those obstacles if they truly want to. Being financially overburdened, being emotionally unavailable, being a druggie or alcoholic, not providing proper nutrition or health options - these are all obstacles that parents can burden their children with in life (intentionally or unintentionally). All of them can affect that child's life in negative ways, but all of them can potentially be overcome by that child much like any setback.
No, not everyone's life is perfect, but clearly some people have steeper uphill battles than others and I don't think it's fair for parents to do that to their children. But that's not all parents, I don't even think it's most parents.
I've chosen to initiate some self deprecating passive aggressiveness in order to keep this debate as light hearted as possible. Because my real feelings on the subject would probably get me infracted.
Well that's unfortunate for you.
Just take solace in that I'm just some random childless stranger on the internet, what do I know, right?
I have a 3.5 year-old daughter and a 3 month-old son.
Regarding overpopulation: You can have 2 kids. Not every person will have kids so the birth-rate actually needs to be a bit higher than 2 kids to keep the population the same.
Thinking about trying to single-handedly reduce the population of the Earth? The best way to do that would be to become a missionary and educate women in areas where they aren't normally educated. Female education is strongly correlated with lower birth-rates.
Japan has had very low birth rates for many years and their population is becoming very old. We're moving in that direction as well. A shrinking and aging population is not a good thing.
Don't rely on anyone or anything to teach your kids. YOU teach your kids. Don't have kids if you're not willing to take on the responsibility.
Most important advice you'll ever get - teach your kids to be kind.
I can't help but think that IcecreamMan80 has a bit of residual One-Winged Angel Syndrome. My advice is don't worry about a scheme of existence, or other English-major tier concepts--worry about yourself, your goals, friends and family. What inspired your outlook and choices, IM80?
Not everyone is cut out to be a parent or to have kids. I wish there was a way to realize this prior to having children, but there is not. I am happy to see some of the younger generation understanding kids are not for them and not wanting to go down that path.
It's about the fact that "dumb" people have more kids than smart people.
I want 3 kids. TBH, I consider myself better than the average person and I feel I should be part of the ones that procreates more.
Now when you think of the Honey Boo-Boo family where the mom has 4-6 kids (I don't know how many really) I kinda weep for our future.
To be fair, Honey Boo-Boo could become a doctor or some other high brow good paying profession when she grows up. Just because her mother is making money off her child, doesnt mean the child will be like the mother.
It's about the fact that "dumb" people have more kids than smart people.
I want 3 kids. TBH, I consider myself better than the average person and I feel I should be part of the ones that procreates more.
Now when you think of the Honey Boo-Boo family where the mom has 4-6 kids (I don't know how many really) I kinda weep for our future.
To be fair, Honey Boo-Boo could become a doctor or some other high brow good paying profession when she grows up. Just because her mother is making money off her child, doesnt mean the child will be like the mother.
But you do understand that she will be similar to her mother due to genetics, yes? And if she is fortunate enough to possess enough intelligence, ambition and drive (perhaps a recessive trait inherited from a distant grandparent) to enter one of the professions you quoted it is still unlikely her siblings as a whole will differ greatly from their parents. This is what IWasteMoneyOnCB and others are trying to say that is escaping you.
To be fair, Honey Boo-Boo could become a doctor or some other high brow good paying profession when she grows up. Just because her mother is making money off her child, doesnt mean the child will be like the mother.
I thought you were strictly of the opinion that parents should be held fully accountable for the actions of their child. Would that not mean that you would condone the actions of boo-boo's mom if the child turned out better?
The point made by Idiocracy has been true since the industrial revolution. If there's a takeaway from it worth considering, it's simply that being poor and uneducated does not mean you're unintelligent, and that having the opportunity to get a first class education doesn't prove that you're intelligent. Being hard working and coming from a family that is at least middle class has a lot more to do with getting an education than being brilliant does.
People have been predicting moral and societal decay for hundreds of years, if not much longer ( http://xkcd.com/1227/ - particularly on point!). It's not happening, and oversimplifications like Idiocracy don't change that fact.
Not everyone is cut out to be a parent or to have kids. I wish there was a way to realize this prior to having children, but there is not. I am happy to see some of the younger generation understanding kids are not for them and not wanting to go down that path.
This is absolutely true. I have a number of friends who have absolutely declined to ever have children - they consider themselves rational in making this decision. But the decision simply can't be rational. It's impossible. Being rational means making decisions in your own interests, based on firm evidence. But you can't make a rational decision without a frame of reference. You can't make a rational decision if you don't understand the costs and benefits associated with it. And the simple truth is that being a parent isn't like anything else in ordinary experience. It's not for everyone, but there's no way to figure out if it's for you until you've tried it.
This is absolutely true. I have a number of friends who have absolutely declined to ever have children - they consider themselves rational in making this decision. But the decision simply can't be rational. It's impossible. Being rational means making decisions in your own interests, based on firm evidence. But you can't make a rational decision without a frame of reference. You can't make a rational decision if you don't understand the costs and benefits associated with it. And the simple truth is that being a parent isn't like anything else in ordinary experience. It's not for everyone, but there's no way to figure out if it's for you until you've tried it.
This is correct. I used to think that I didn't want kids because I wouldn't be able to relate to them. Then I met my wife-to-be and her two kids (aged 2 and 3 at the time) and after spending some time with them, I realized that their interior worlds were not only wonderful but accessible. Now I've been in their lives for almost a decade, formally "dad" since marrying their mom six years ago. When my nearly teenaged step-daughter gets into one of her combative, pubescent emotional states, my wife actually insists that I deal with it because I have a more patient temperament and can defuse the situation.
I've had numerous people over the years tell me how great I am with kids, how naturally I can operate on their level; and yet I'd never wanted anything to do with kids and had assumed that I'd never have any. But unfortunately the reverse is sometimes true as well: people romanticize parenting in their own minds when they have nothing of the patience, creativity, or emotional stability to do the job right. Everyone should find some way to take a "test run" before they jump in, I think; watching a friend's or relative's kids, volunteering at local school carnivals, etc. -- something to re-immerse oneself in the world of childhood and appreciate all the unique joys and difficulties it entails.
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Love. Forgive. Trust. Be willing to be broken that you may be remade.
I am 19 years old and quiver at the idea of having children any time within the next 5 years. If I were to have children, I would definitely wait until me and my spouse both had at least a bachelor's degree before we made that decision.
However, I have a fairly major case of OCD and believe that it would be passed onto my children should I have any of my own. I believe that it is unethical to bring a child into this world with my problems. Therefore, if I do decide to have children, I will probably adopt. I am just genetically unfit to procreate on my own, at least I believe so at this point in my life.
To be fair, Honey Boo-Boo could become a doctor or some other high brow good paying profession when she grows up. Just because her mother is making money off her child, doesnt mean the child will be like the mother.
I thought you were strictly of the opinion that parents should be held fully accountable for the actions of their child. Would that not mean that you would condone the actions of boo-boo's mom if the child turned out better?
I am a firm believer that parents are accountable for their kids actions. Just because the mom pimped out her daughter for pageants and a television show to support the family, does not mean the daughter will do the same for her family. If Boo-Boo becomes successful later in life, it may very well have to do with the decisions of her mother and in her case it would have been the correct decisions for that child.
There is no manual to raise children, and each child needs something different from their parents.
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My daughter just turned 5 months today. Its pretty awesome. She's are only one right now, and I don't think we're going to have any more. Its an enjoyable, though stressful experience. Its something I really wouldn't want to deny to anyone, but we ourselves waited until we could afford to raise a child. I generally think having children is a good idea, but I am conflicted on the morality re: overpopulation, which isn't as much a problem in the U.S. as it is in other parts of the world, though I do feel pretty strongly that people should limit the number of children they have to five or less. I'm interest to see others' opinions on this, there are some pretty deep issues surrounding the act of having children, especially the number.
Onering's 4 simple steps that let you solve any problem with Magic's gameplay
Step 1: Identify the problem. What aspect of Magic don't you like? Step 2: Find out how others deal with the problem. How do players deal with this aspect of the game when they run into it? Step 3: Do what those players do. Step 4: No more problem. Bonus: You are now better at Magic. Enjoy those extra wins!
Two if any.
For the most part yes.
I just work with them. None of my own.
Wait till she hits puberty. Then everything changes. Babies and toddlers are the better part.
The hardest part is cascading nightime crying. The two year old wakes up and is upset that her animal fell out of the bed which wakes up the 8 month old who is upset that he's awake and.... my wife and I lose 2 hours of sleep.
On the overpopulation front... I don't htink thats a big deal. From a rational perspective adding more people in a non-overcrowded country will have minimal, if any, affect on countires having problems feeding their population. Refraining form having a child because of "world overpopulation" is like eating all your food at dinner because "there are kids starving in Africa".
On the over population front. If you can take care of the kids you have (feeding, clothing..) I dont think that will be an issue. How many people/couples dont have any children? It would take a few generations of people breeding like rabbits to start pushing the resources.
Just remember, what is cute at 6 months old, isnt cute at 2 years old, and what is cute at 2 years old, isnt cute to their 4K/kindergarten teacher probably wont feel the same way. When kids reach 11 or 12 years old they know everything and their parents are the dumbest people in the world. As a parnet you just have to weather the storm, they come around.
I love him. But I have a mental disposition that causes me to act differently than most people.
I see people all the time with pictures of their wife and kids, in their wallet, on their desks, they talk about them, they swoon about their feats, etc. They celebrate being a father/mother and all the joys etc.
I however, refuse to have pictures, I don't celebrate, I don't swoon, I don't go gaga about it. I don't share it like it's some big accomplishment.
I am just one person in a giant sea of people, and my wife is just one wife in a sea of wives, and my kid just one kid in a sea of kids.
We may be unique, but we are not special. We are only unique in the same way each individual minnow is unique. We, like everyone else, are easily replaceable, and no great benefit or harm to the grand scheme of existence.
Having kids, procreating, is simply a biological choice on whether you feel you should extend your bloodline into the future.
Some people choose not to. Me and my wife chose to do so.
There is fun, good times, Zoo's, parks, building sand castles at the beach, etc. But there is also some serious stress and hardship. Bills, food, healthcare, etc.
My only concern is raising him to be GOOD, everything else is secondary.
I don't care if he is is gay, straight, a musician, a sports star, a nerd, a jock, or whatever. I just want him to be intelligent, honest, compassionate, generous, and brave.
Thanks to Xenphire @ Inkfox for the amazing new sig
“Thus strangely are our souls constructed, and by slight ligaments
are we bound to prosperity and ruin.”
― Mary Shelley, Frankenstein
Otherwise the world will end up like "Idiocracy"
"You drink that toilet stuff??"
Idiocracy is a comedy written by screenwriters. It is very funny, and very unscientific.
candidus inperti; si nil, his utere mecum.
Moreover, I think many people who have had children probably shouldn't have because they aren't financially, personally or emotionally equipped to give that child the best life possible. I feel those people should have reached the same conclusion as I did: that despite what you want to do, if you can't provide a child with a good life, you're intentionally creating a person and setting them up for failure. This is not an easy world to live in, and I think bringing a new life into it and then putting obstacles in its path to a decent life is the ultimate example of hubris. Some people are so caught up in wanting to have a child that they don't stop to think if they should, and at the end of the day it's that innocent new life that suffers for it. It's a vanity project for some people.
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
I see children as something of a consumation of a husband and wife's love. A symbol of the strength of their relationship. Raising the kids takes both of you. Each can help the child succeed in an area where you or your spouse may've failed. What's more, I think one of the greatest things we can teach our kids is that nothing worthwhile in life is easy. Rise to the challenge and celebrate your victories and learn from your defeats. That is what makes life worth it. I can't help but think that IcecreamMan80 has a bit of residual One-Winged Angel Syndrome. My advice is don't worry about a scheme of existence, or other English-major tier concepts--worry about yourself, your goals, friends and family. What inspired your outlook and choices, IM80?
And no, he was not planned, nor do I have $300,000 saved up specifically to cover every little cost one could possibly imagine for child rearing. Nor would I imagine that anyone but the most upper middle class or rich could even save that much money in the first place solely for the rearing of a child.
So, I apologize ahead of time for apparently breeding a child that has no chance at ever living a happy life because I wasn't rich enough to be able to cater to his every need from Age 0 to 25 right off the bat. Forgive me.
Regardless of that, I believe it to be the most amazing experience in the world. And so long as you actually plan on raising them right and giving a damn about teaching them to be a good person in life than you should be free to experience it if you so choose.
There's too many parents nowadays that don't give a damn about their child and just let them do whatever, or want to be their "friend" more than their parent. And that just ruins kids. I hope to be apart of a generation of parents who will see the insanity of todays children and work towards making a better generation built on honesty, generosity, humility and courage.
Congratulations and good luck. You, sir, are in for some hard - though rewarding, if rumors are to be believed - days ahead.
Well that cost is spread over the course of a child's first eighteen years, so I think you've got some time to come up with the skrillah. Kids don't require a lump sum investment upon birth.
I don't think anyone here at all said that.
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
Bold emphasis mine.
This tells me otherwise, but to each their own. I've chosen to initiate some self deprecating passive aggressiveness in order to keep this debate as light hearted as possible. Because my real feelings on the subject would probably get me infracted.
Yes, obstacles. A child can potentially overcome those obstacles if they truly want to. Being financially overburdened, being emotionally unavailable, being a druggie or alcoholic, not providing proper nutrition or health options - these are all obstacles that parents can burden their children with in life (intentionally or unintentionally). All of them can affect that child's life in negative ways, but all of them can potentially be overcome by that child much like any setback.
No, not everyone's life is perfect, but clearly some people have steeper uphill battles than others and I don't think it's fair for parents to do that to their children. But that's not all parents, I don't even think it's most parents.
Well that's unfortunate for you.
Just take solace in that I'm just some random childless stranger on the internet, what do I know, right?
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
Regarding overpopulation: You can have 2 kids. Not every person will have kids so the birth-rate actually needs to be a bit higher than 2 kids to keep the population the same.
Thinking about trying to single-handedly reduce the population of the Earth? The best way to do that would be to become a missionary and educate women in areas where they aren't normally educated. Female education is strongly correlated with lower birth-rates.
Japan has had very low birth rates for many years and their population is becoming very old. We're moving in that direction as well. A shrinking and aging population is not a good thing.
Don't rely on anyone or anything to teach your kids. YOU teach your kids. Don't have kids if you're not willing to take on the responsibility.
Most important advice you'll ever get - teach your kids to be kind.
Not sure I understand what you're saying.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OneWingedAngel
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=One%20Winged%20Angel
I am not an English-major
I would say that my outlook is not so much "inspired" as it is "uninspired".
Thanks to Xenphire @ Inkfox for the amazing new sig
“Thus strangely are our souls constructed, and by slight ligaments
are we bound to prosperity and ruin.”
― Mary Shelley, Frankenstein
It's about the fact that "dumb" people have more kids than smart people.
I want 3 kids. TBH, I consider myself better than the average person and I feel I should be part of the ones that procreates more.
Now when you think of the Honey Boo-Boo family where the mom has 4-6 kids (I don't know how many really) I kinda weep for our future.
To be fair, Honey Boo-Boo could become a doctor or some other high brow good paying profession when she grows up. Just because her mother is making money off her child, doesnt mean the child will be like the mother.
But you do understand that she will be similar to her mother due to genetics, yes? And if she is fortunate enough to possess enough intelligence, ambition and drive (perhaps a recessive trait inherited from a distant grandparent) to enter one of the professions you quoted it is still unlikely her siblings as a whole will differ greatly from their parents. This is what IWasteMoneyOnCB and others are trying to say that is escaping you.
I thought you were strictly of the opinion that parents should be held fully accountable for the actions of their child. Would that not mean that you would condone the actions of boo-boo's mom if the child turned out better?
People have been predicting moral and societal decay for hundreds of years, if not much longer ( http://xkcd.com/1227/ - particularly on point!). It's not happening, and oversimplifications like Idiocracy don't change that fact.
This is absolutely true. I have a number of friends who have absolutely declined to ever have children - they consider themselves rational in making this decision. But the decision simply can't be rational. It's impossible. Being rational means making decisions in your own interests, based on firm evidence. But you can't make a rational decision without a frame of reference. You can't make a rational decision if you don't understand the costs and benefits associated with it. And the simple truth is that being a parent isn't like anything else in ordinary experience. It's not for everyone, but there's no way to figure out if it's for you until you've tried it.
Mine's 3 years old, by the way
This is correct. I used to think that I didn't want kids because I wouldn't be able to relate to them. Then I met my wife-to-be and her two kids (aged 2 and 3 at the time) and after spending some time with them, I realized that their interior worlds were not only wonderful but accessible. Now I've been in their lives for almost a decade, formally "dad" since marrying their mom six years ago. When my nearly teenaged step-daughter gets into one of her combative, pubescent emotional states, my wife actually insists that I deal with it because I have a more patient temperament and can defuse the situation.
I've had numerous people over the years tell me how great I am with kids, how naturally I can operate on their level; and yet I'd never wanted anything to do with kids and had assumed that I'd never have any. But unfortunately the reverse is sometimes true as well: people romanticize parenting in their own minds when they have nothing of the patience, creativity, or emotional stability to do the job right. Everyone should find some way to take a "test run" before they jump in, I think; watching a friend's or relative's kids, volunteering at local school carnivals, etc. -- something to re-immerse oneself in the world of childhood and appreciate all the unique joys and difficulties it entails.
However, I have a fairly major case of OCD and believe that it would be passed onto my children should I have any of my own. I believe that it is unethical to bring a child into this world with my problems. Therefore, if I do decide to have children, I will probably adopt. I am just genetically unfit to procreate on my own, at least I believe so at this point in my life.
I am a firm believer that parents are accountable for their kids actions. Just because the mom pimped out her daughter for pageants and a television show to support the family, does not mean the daughter will do the same for her family. If Boo-Boo becomes successful later in life, it may very well have to do with the decisions of her mother and in her case it would have been the correct decisions for that child.
There is no manual to raise children, and each child needs something different from their parents.