As a 17 year old, the youngest aged girl I would date is 15 (And I frequently do this).
I dunno, something about dating a 14 year old just seems kind of freakish to me..
But then again (Now that I think of it), I was dating a 17 year old while I was 14, and didnt see anything wrong with it. I still don't regret doing it, and I don't think there was anything wrong with it happening.
So whats my answer to your question? HELL NO. Why? Because men think with their *****. I obviously don't know what its like to be a woman, but I'm pretty sure they arent as bad as we are in that matter.
Imma go ahead and say no. 14-17 is just a massive disparity in maturity regardless of how you cut it, not taking into consideration one of the two being socially retarded (and then they really shouldn't be dating, eh?)
Now ask me if a 21 year old and an 18 year old could date? No Problemo!
If one can be socially retarded, it is likely one could be socially advanced.
It is known that women mature faster than men. As adults its not so big of a jump, but as teenagers the typical boy is about two years behind in development. That alone shows why a 17 year old boy and a 14 year old girl are likely to find a common ground.
I don't have any hard numbers on this, but I'm targeted more often than a black guy driving a beat-up sedan with a broken tail-light and no license plate, and Cy's well aware of that.
How would you relate this to a 13 year old in grade 10, schooling by correspondace at home who works full time?
Ill re-edit your post so it is more accurate
How would you relate this to a 13 year old in grade 10, schooling by correspondace at home who works full time? She could not relate to anyone her own age, never could. That was why she asked to do her schooling at home, and on her own was finishing it alot faster. All of her friends were 17-25. In many ways she was more mature than most of the 30 year olds I know now, and the reason it never worked out is because at 17 she just was way to ahead of me. For some reason I think this is anything close to normal or average, and thus can be used to justify every similar situation ever.
It depends on the guy. I don't care how mature my fictitious daughter may be (e.g. how mature she believes she is versus the reality of the world), if she wants to date the Fonz, then she can sit on it.:smiledown:
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I just think that people who are in different age groups have less or more life experiences to relate to eachother. They are at different stages of maturity.
Your age should be the determining factor when it comes to your maturity and experience. If some one is your 'mental age' by being equally experienced and equally mature as you, then hopefully it will end up all right, and you have my blessings.
I just want my friends to be my level, experiences and maturity. Physical age is last place.
But, for my 14 year old daughter, I would want her to date some one of similar mental age, and hopefully they would both be the same physical age.
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"Wizards could put $100 bills in packs and people would complain about how they were folded."
Why not? She's in high school and she's becoming an adult. You're just taking an experience away from her which helps her learn who she is.
What reason is there to rush into dating? What positive experience is there to really be gained?
She'll have plenty of years to date, I don't see the reason to rush into it at age 14 and have her date a bunch of guys who are barely through puberty.
I think a lot of people in this thread are vastly overestimating the intelligence of the average 14 year-old girl.
What reason is there to rush into dating? What positive experience is there to really be gained?
She'll have plenty of years to date, I don't see the reason to rush into it at age 14 and have her date a bunch of guys who are barely through puberty.
I think a lot of people in this thread are vastly overestimating the intelligence of the average 14 year-old girl.
First, a 14 year old girl should never see a 17 year old boy. The maturity level is light years apart.
OK, there is no rush. Nature gives boys and girls feelings for each other and 14 is an appropriate age for them. If the girl feel's she is ready to have a boyfriend than she should have one.
And besides, you cant stop a 14 year old girl from seeing a boy she likes. Unless of course you want your daughter to sit at home on weekend nights and be a social outcast. I guess that's fun too.
As has already been said, it depends on both the girl and on the boy. There's no clear-cut answer, in my opinion, because there's so many things that would have to be considered.
To be honest, I've found the girls I have known in my life generally more perverse than most of the boys.
Most just hide it well (not nikki)
Really tho, I still think its a bit much at that time - hell, even 16 and 19 is better, but 14... is still just barely a child, not an adult. I second all the rational posts above about how theres plenty of time later. I like the whole 18-21 bit as a bottom line for 3 years apart.
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To be honest, I've found the girls I have known in my life generally more perverse than most of the boys.
I have found the opposite, FWIW. Perhaps a poll is in order!
I've rethought my initial answer a little. I said it would depend on the individuals and not on their ages. But I imagine that when the situation arises IRL, the 17-year-old is not necessarily going to be someone that the parents are familiar with. If my 14-year-old daughter said "Hey, I want to go to a rave with Zeke on Saturday - and BTW you don't know him and he's 17," I think I would probably say no. But if he was a neighbor kid or someone I knew, I'd be more likely to say yes.
My niece is 14, and if I found out she was dating a 17 year old I'd have some questions. Each year of development mentally, emotionally, and physically is REALLY vast in younger years. Sure when you're in the middle of it as a 16 year old, it seems like no big deal... and dating someone with the same age difference when you're 30 is nothing... but when every DAY a 14 year old is creating their personality, emotions, reactions, and adjustments... it's just unfair to have someone who's 4 years ahead have such an important pull in your life. It has nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with maturity. As much as we all thought we knew it all when we were in high school, we sure as hell found out by the time we turned 21 that we had a heck of a lot more lessons to learn.
My niece is 14, and if I found out she was dating a 17 year old I'd have some questions. Each year of development mentally, emotionally, and physically is REALLY vast in younger years. [...] As much as we all thought we knew it all when we were in high school, we sure as hell found out by the time we turned 21 that we had a heck of a lot more lessons to learn.
But every person is different. At 14, I was spending what seems like more of my time with 16-18 year olds, most of them girls, than with people my own age because I couldn't connect to people my own age on a mental/emotional level. The reverse could easily be true.
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My anecdotal evidence disagrees with yours! EXPLAIN THAT!
I'd punch the guy in the mouth, then curbstomp him for getting near my daughter when he's 3 years older. That would make him a senior dating a freshman. There are some lines that cannot be crossed.
However, it does depend on the maturity of the guy. Most likely no however. I wouldn't even want the possibility of my daughter being manipulated.
I'd hate to prevent my daughter from dating anyone, although of course if the other person was grossly immature, dangerous, or I had other reasons (beside personal prejudice), I'd have to step in and take steps to prevent her dating them. I'd also hope to think that any daughter that I'd raise would be quite mature about dating, etc, and is educated about things like safe sex and choosing the right partner, so there wouldn't be any chance of the person in question taking advantage of her or otherwise putting her in danger.
To answer the question though, of course I would let her. Three years is just simply not that much of an age difference, and age is not an infallible way to measure maturity. I know a lot of couples consisting of a seventeen-year-old and a fourteen-year-old (or thereabouts) who are happy and in a loving relationship.
"Hello! I've come to serenade you. I can't play guitar. I can't play this accordion either, but I thought it'd be less obvious."
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i want to answer your question with another question. Why is a 17 year old wanting to date a 14 year old?
Let me answer your question with yet another question! Why do people date?
.
..
...
Umm, because they like each other. Seriously people....
Being a 17 year old guy who dated a 14 year old girl, I will say it depends on the couple. We are both responsible people, and she was basically more mature than the average 14 year old anyways. As for the main reason you'd be worried (sex), there wasn't any hanky panky for a long time, both out of respect for each other and the laws.
But I do know ****ty 13 year olds, who know nothing about what sex actually means and basically just want to be Tila Tequila, and I know 17 year old guys who poach young girls, and for either of them, I'd say they weren't ready to go out in anything other than a chaperoned/group date. Mostly on the girl's part... once they are 17, they have to start making their own choices.
So in this situation, I'd say "Why not?", as long as the necessary variables are in place.
"Dating" and "having sex with" are two rather different things - and the former is perfectly legal.
Basically this. If it's the former, then this could be a great experience for both of them, but if it's "having sex", for either of them, then no, I don't think it's healthy, and one or the other needs to mature.
EDIT: Spanglegluppet had a good point- You can only control it so much. Education is tech. If you feel that you've taught her well enough to know a bad egg when she sees one, to look after herself both in safety and sexually, and to let her know that in real life, the pressure to "get laid" doesn't mean squat, she should be better of. Controlling who she dates will almost always lead to the opposite of what you want, especially a teenage girl/boy. -_-
I'd punch the guy in the mouth, then curbstomp him for getting near my daughter when he's 3 years older. That would make him a senior dating a freshman. There are some lines that cannot be crossed.
However, it does depend on the maturity of the guy. Most likely no however. I wouldn't even want the possibility of my daughter being manipulated.
I hope you aren't serious. Beating up a kid? What about maturity? And your second point rings true- Even if one is more mature (which, women mature before guys do remember everyone...), its just a responsibility on their part to work through it. I know I was probably (still am) the immature one in my relationship. (still healthy and strong, and now we are 18 and 21) <3
Not that it's really important, when my opinion is essentially the same as the average opinion (from what I saw), but...
It depends.
That's an absurdly oversimplified scenario. I know nothing about my hypothetical daughter, her hypothetical suitor, whether this would be occurring now (as opposed to in the near future, the more distant future, the mid-1800s...essentially for the purpose of understanding cultural & social standards.), etc. There's just so much information that you need to have to realistically answer this question that you really can't say 'yes' or 'no' without knowing more. Well, unless you're willing to take an uncompromising position that takes nothing into account beyond age, gender, and stereotypical behavior patterns (that may or may not hold true a plurality of the time, I'll grant you, but...), which I don't really want to do, because it seems sort of stupid to me.
I have no problems with cursing. I always feel like the sort of people who buy that cliche are the same ones who think that every bully is secretly insecure. Life isn't as simple as our kindergarten teachers taught us.
Couldn't say without knowing something about the personality and moral sensibility of the boy.
When I was seventeen, I was dating a fourteen year-old girl for a while; and it was perfectly innocent and nice and all, and her parents approved. But given who I was back then, it really never would've even occurred to me to try to get in her pants. But obviously there are seventeen year-old boys who think they're porn stars and all so...
...yeah, it would depend on the boy.
Same answer. It would be unfair and unreasonable to just say "No" based on age.
But if I were the parent, I'd make sure to also talk to my daugher about it. I'd set rules for where the date can take place, what time it takes place, etc.
To be completely honest, I might even follow in secret and risk embarrassing my own daugher just to be sure they're having a good, clean time.
The sad and scary thing about it all is that even with such precautions, horrible things can still happen... You see it on the news and hear it from friends and family all the time.
Well, personally, I see nothing wrong with the differences in age. I believe it's the norm for older boys to date younger girls and 14 and 17 isn't a huge gap. My parents are 6 years apart and my grandparents are more than 10 years apart! It goes to show that age should never get in the way of true love.
Now if your major objection is that a 14 year old girl shouldn't be going out and having sex, then I wouldn't see why you would even bother mentioning the 17 year old boy. If this was the case, your question should really be, "Should a 14 year old go dating?" In this case, I would still answer "yes". Dating doesn't necessarily equal sex. Anyways, I find these age sex laws to be silly. They almost never come to action unless in cases of rape. Frankly, I don't believe the government seriously cares if a 14 year old consents to sex. What they want is easy conviction of rapists and child molesters.
Well, personally, I see nothing wrong with the differences in age. I believe it's the norm for older boys to date younger girls and 14 and 17 isn't a huge gap. My parents are 6 years apart and my grandparents are more than 10 years apart! It goes to show that age should never get in the way of true love.
Because we all know true love comes only once in your life. I think I've found true love about 6-7 times in my 35 years! I am 4 years apart from my wife. But we're also in our 30's and that line blurs. Heck there are guys in my gaming group who are within 10 years of my age and you wouldn't know it. The older you get, the less those lines matter. But the younger you get, the less you've experienced and the less mature your brain is in it's physiology. While it takes longer for men to mature (which is why younger girls date them... they can't get boys their own age)... there are plenty of factors that make things difficult, esp as the boy gets older and she suddenly gets wrapped up in high school stuff. It may not be about sex here... but it's a factor that can lead to the most problems.
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I dunno, something about dating a 14 year old just seems kind of freakish to me..
But then again (Now that I think of it), I was dating a 17 year old while I was 14, and didnt see anything wrong with it. I still don't regret doing it, and I don't think there was anything wrong with it happening.
So whats my answer to your question? HELL NO. Why? Because men think with their *****. I obviously don't know what its like to be a woman, but I'm pretty sure they arent as bad as we are in that matter.
If one can be socially retarded, it is likely one could be socially advanced.
It is known that women mature faster than men. As adults its not so big of a jump, but as teenagers the typical boy is about two years behind in development. That alone shows why a 17 year old boy and a 14 year old girl are likely to find a common ground.
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It depends on the guy. I don't care how mature my fictitious daughter may be (e.g. how mature she believes she is versus the reality of the world), if she wants to date the Fonz, then she can sit on it.:smiledown:
Though I'll put it in a small font.
Please stop hijacking my reply box.
Why not? She's in high school and she's becoming an adult. You're just taking an experience away from her which helps her learn who she is.
Your age should be the determining factor when it comes to your maturity and experience. If some one is your 'mental age' by being equally experienced and equally mature as you, then hopefully it will end up all right, and you have my blessings.
I just want my friends to be my level, experiences and maturity. Physical age is last place.
But, for my 14 year old daughter, I would want her to date some one of similar mental age, and hopefully they would both be the same physical age.
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When she's 20, she can date as many 23 year olds she wants.
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What reason is there to rush into dating? What positive experience is there to really be gained?
She'll have plenty of years to date, I don't see the reason to rush into it at age 14 and have her date a bunch of guys who are barely through puberty.
I think a lot of people in this thread are vastly overestimating the intelligence of the average 14 year-old girl.
First, a 14 year old girl should never see a 17 year old boy. The maturity level is light years apart.
OK, there is no rush. Nature gives boys and girls feelings for each other and 14 is an appropriate age for them. If the girl feel's she is ready to have a boyfriend than she should have one.
And besides, you cant stop a 14 year old girl from seeing a boy she likes. Unless of course you want your daughter to sit at home on weekend nights and be a social outcast. I guess that's fun too.
Because I know what sick things men can do, being a man myself.
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A truly great petition
Most just hide it well (not nikki)
Really tho, I still think its a bit much at that time - hell, even 16 and 19 is better, but 14... is still just barely a child, not an adult. I second all the rational posts above about how theres plenty of time later. I like the whole 18-21 bit as a bottom line for 3 years apart.
I've rethought my initial answer a little. I said it would depend on the individuals and not on their ages. But I imagine that when the situation arises IRL, the 17-year-old is not necessarily going to be someone that the parents are familiar with. If my 14-year-old daughter said "Hey, I want to go to a rave with Zeke on Saturday - and BTW you don't know him and he's 17," I think I would probably say no. But if he was a neighbor kid or someone I knew, I'd be more likely to say yes.
However, it does depend on the maturity of the guy. Most likely no however. I wouldn't even want the possibility of my daughter being manipulated.
To answer the question though, of course I would let her. Three years is just simply not that much of an age difference, and age is not an infallible way to measure maturity. I know a lot of couples consisting of a seventeen-year-old and a fourteen-year-old (or thereabouts) who are happy and in a loving relationship.
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"Hello! I've come to serenade you. I can't play guitar. I can't play this accordion either, but I thought it'd be less obvious."
Dylan Moran, Black Books
Let me answer your question with yet another question! Why do people date?
.
..
...
Umm, because they like each other. Seriously people....
Being a 17 year old guy who dated a 14 year old girl, I will say it depends on the couple. We are both responsible people, and she was basically more mature than the average 14 year old anyways. As for the main reason you'd be worried (sex), there wasn't any hanky panky for a long time, both out of respect for each other and the laws.
But I do know ****ty 13 year olds, who know nothing about what sex actually means and basically just want to be Tila Tequila, and I know 17 year old guys who poach young girls, and for either of them, I'd say they weren't ready to go out in anything other than a chaperoned/group date. Mostly on the girl's part... once they are 17, they have to start making their own choices.
So in this situation, I'd say "Why not?", as long as the necessary variables are in place.
Basically this. If it's the former, then this could be a great experience for both of them, but if it's "having sex", for either of them, then no, I don't think it's healthy, and one or the other needs to mature.
EDIT: Spanglegluppet had a good point- You can only control it so much. Education is tech. If you feel that you've taught her well enough to know a bad egg when she sees one, to look after herself both in safety and sexually, and to let her know that in real life, the pressure to "get laid" doesn't mean squat, she should be better of. Controlling who she dates will almost always lead to the opposite of what you want, especially a teenage girl/boy. -_-
I hope you aren't serious. Beating up a kid? What about maturity? And your second point rings true- Even if one is more mature (which, women mature before guys do remember everyone...), its just a responsibility on their part to work through it. I know I was probably (still am) the immature one in my relationship. (still healthy and strong, and now we are 18 and 21) <3
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It depends.
That's an absurdly oversimplified scenario. I know nothing about my hypothetical daughter, her hypothetical suitor, whether this would be occurring now (as opposed to in the near future, the more distant future, the mid-1800s...essentially for the purpose of understanding cultural & social standards.), etc. There's just so much information that you need to have to realistically answer this question that you really can't say 'yes' or 'no' without knowing more. Well, unless you're willing to take an uncompromising position that takes nothing into account beyond age, gender, and stereotypical behavior patterns (that may or may not hold true a plurality of the time, I'll grant you, but...), which I don't really want to do, because it seems sort of stupid to me.
Same answer. It would be unfair and unreasonable to just say "No" based on age.
But if I were the parent, I'd make sure to also talk to my daugher about it. I'd set rules for where the date can take place, what time it takes place, etc.
To be completely honest, I might even follow in secret and risk embarrassing my own daugher just to be sure they're having a good, clean time.
The sad and scary thing about it all is that even with such precautions, horrible things can still happen... You see it on the news and hear it from friends and family all the time.
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Now if your major objection is that a 14 year old girl shouldn't be going out and having sex, then I wouldn't see why you would even bother mentioning the 17 year old boy. If this was the case, your question should really be, "Should a 14 year old go dating?" In this case, I would still answer "yes". Dating doesn't necessarily equal sex. Anyways, I find these age sex laws to be silly. They almost never come to action unless in cases of rape. Frankly, I don't believe the government seriously cares if a 14 year old consents to sex. What they want is easy conviction of rapists and child molesters.
Because we all know true love comes only once in your life. I think I've found true love about 6-7 times in my 35 years! I am 4 years apart from my wife. But we're also in our 30's and that line blurs. Heck there are guys in my gaming group who are within 10 years of my age and you wouldn't know it. The older you get, the less those lines matter. But the younger you get, the less you've experienced and the less mature your brain is in it's physiology. While it takes longer for men to mature (which is why younger girls date them... they can't get boys their own age)... there are plenty of factors that make things difficult, esp as the boy gets older and she suddenly gets wrapped up in high school stuff. It may not be about sex here... but it's a factor that can lead to the most problems.
"If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans, and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say 'I love you' the same way I do today?" Ichimaru Gin
...? So now they are both a year more mature, it's not cool anymore? Please explain, that makes absolutely no sense to me. x_x
lolz... That's scary.
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