MTG Salvation

Whenever Red-Hot Hottie deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It gains "At the beginning of each end step, sacrifice this creature unless you scream ‘Aaah' at the top of your lungs."

If you control two or more green permanents that share an artist, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.

Exile target artifact.

You may play cards as though they were other cards of your choice with the same mana cost. You can't choose the same card twice. (Mana cost includes color.)

Super haste (This may attack the turn before you cast it. (You may put this card from your hand onto the battlefield tapped and attacking during your declare attackers step. If you do, you lose the game at the beginning of your next turn's end step unless you pay this card's mana cost during that turn.))

2, T: Rod of Spanking deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap Rod of Spanking unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

You may have S.N.O.T. enter the battlefield stuck to another creature named S.N.O.T. If you do, all those creatures form a single creature.

S.N.O.T.'s power and toughness are each equal to the square of the number of cards named S.N.O.T. stuck together to form it. (One is a 1/1, two are a 4/4, three are a 9/9, and four are a 16/16. If you manage to get -1 S.N.O.T.s stuck together, it's a 1/1.)

Sauté deals 3½ damage to any target.

Choose one —

• Target player gains 2½ life.

• Prevent the next 2½ damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn.

Gotcha — If an opponent says "save" or "life," you may say "Gotcha" When you do, return Save Life from your graveyard to your hand.

Shoe Tree enters the battlefield with up to two shoe counters on it. Use your shoes as counters.

Shoe Tree gets +1/+1 for each shoe counter on it.

You and target opponent arm-wrestle. If you win, create a 3/3 green Ape creature token.

As Six-y Beast enters the battlefield, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that player guesses right, sacrifice Six-y Beast after it enters the battlefield.

Whenever Smart Ass attacks, choose a card name. If defending player has no cards with the chosen name in their hand, they may reveal their hand. If they don't reveal their hand, Smart Ass can't be blocked this turn.

Counter target spell.

Gotcha — If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

As long as you're standing, Standing Army has vigilance.

"Until end of turn" and "this turn" effects don't end.

Whenever Stone-Cold Basilisk blocks or becomes blocked by a creature with fewer letters in its name, destroy that creature at end of combat. (Punctuation and spaces aren't letters.)

Whenever an opponent reads Stone-Cold Basilisk, that player is turned to stone until end of turn. Stoned players can't attack, block, cast spells, or activate abilities.

Target player discards a card.

Gotcha — If an opponent audibly flicks the cards in their hand, you may say "Gotcha" When you do, return Stop That from your graveyard to your hand.

Premium spells cost 1 less to cast.

Premium creatures get +1/+1.

Target creature gets +3½/+3½ until end of turn.

Create a 1/1 colorless Expansion-Symbol creature token for each different expansion symbol among permanents you control.

T: Choose a word. Target player puts the top card of their library into their graveyard. If that card has the chosen word in its text box, that player loses 3 life.

The Fallen Apart enters the battlefield with two arms and two legs.

Whenever damage is dealt to The Fallen Apart, remove an arm or a leg from it.

The Fallen Apart can't attack if it has no legs and can't block if it has no arms.

T: Exile Time Machine and target nontoken creature you own. Return them to the battlefield at the beginning of your upkeep on your turn X in the next game you play with one of your opponents in this game, where X is the converted mana cost of the exiled creature.

Togglodyte enters the battlefield turned on.

Whenever a player casts a spell, toggle Togglodyte's ON/OFF switch.

As long as Togglodyte is turned off, it can't attack or block, and prevent all damage it would deal.

The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, ending, postcombat main, combat, precombat main, and beginning.)

As long as there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed.

Destroy target land.

Gotcha — If an opponent touches their face, you may say "Gotcha" When you do, return Touch and Go from your graveyard to your hand.

Cumulative upkeep—Say "Toy Boat" quickly. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on Toy Boat, then sacrifice it unless you say "Toy Boat" once for each age counter on it—without pausing between or fumbling it.)

Trample

When Uktabi Kong enters the battlefield, destroy all artifacts.

Tap two untapped Apes you control: Create a 1/1 green Ape creature token.

2, Discard a card: Search your library for a card that shares a complete word in its name with the discarded card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle your library.

Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches Vile Bile, that player loses 2 life.

As Water Gun Balloon Game enters the battlefield, each player puts a pop counter on a 0.

Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop counter up 1.

Whenever a player's pop counter hits 5, that player creates a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token and resets all pop counters to 0.

Wet Willie of the Damned deals 2½ damage to any target and you gain 2½ life.

Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of times the letter of your choice appears in that creature's name.

Who

XW

Target player gains X life.

//

What

2R

Destroy target artifact.

//

When

2U

Counter target creature spell.

//

Where

3B

Destroy target land.

//

Why

1G

Destroy target enchantment.

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

As Working Stiff enters the battlefield, straighten your arms.

When you bend an elbow, sacrifice Working Stiff.

5, Sacrifice World-Bottling Kit: Choose a Magic set. Exile all permanents with that set's expansion symbol except for basic lands.

All creatures have haste.

Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.

Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

As Zombie Fanboy enters the battlefield, choose an artist.

Whenever a permanent with art by the chosen artist is put into a graveyard, put two +1/+1 counters on Zombie Fanboy.

At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy all nonland permanents with the first name alphabetically among nonland permanents.