Bontu the Glorified

Oracle Text
Menace, indestructible
Bontu the Glorified can't attack or block unless a creature died under your control this turn.
, Sacrifice another creature: Scry 1. Each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
Card Rulings
4/18/2017 The creature that died doesn’t have to still be in its owner’s graveyard to satisfy Bontu’s combat restriction.
4/18/2017 Creature tokens that die are put into your graveyard as normal (and cease to exist soon after). If one died this turn, it satisfies Bontu’s combat restriction.
4/18/2017 All attackers are chosen at once. You can’t attack with one, sacrifice it to satisfy Bontu’s combat restriction, and then attack with Bontu.
4/18/2017 In a Two-Headed Giant game, Bontu’s activated ability causes the opposing team to lose 2 life and you gain 1 life.
EDIT: Green God still the best
I think this is the only one of the five whose ability is guaranteed to allow it to attack and block. Each one makes progress towards their trigger, but there are situations where each one won't turn on, except this one.
And you're in black? How many turns is something not going to die under your control?
Now if we are talking in standard's perspective, I think he is great. He is really cheap to play, fills multiple slots in an aristocrats esq deck (sac outlet, big beater), and can be pretty hard to remove. The fact that his sacrifice effect costs 2 mana I do think is a drawback, but in standard if your playing a deck that doesn't have a lot of card advantage then his ability to scry 1 becomes very relevant because once you get empty handed you want to be hitting live draws. Also once you get empty handed you're not as much mana per turn so you will still have mana left open to use his sac effect.
In my opinion I think he provides something that not a lot of aristocrats decks have had for a while. A really big beefy creature that is hard to remove to where as you don't need a big set up to get it big (last one I remember was Falkenrath Aristocrat). All it needs is one of your own creature's death to become activated. Then you can beat in for 4 damage. The requirements for activating him are very low when all it is, is having another creature. This with Hidden Stockpile, Liliana, Death's Majesty, and Nissa, Voice of Zendikar are just a few cards to name that will give him sac fodder every turn.
Another thing I think that needs to be noted is that you focus heavily around the fact that it does nothing immediately. I disagree I think that when he lands he gives you a sac outlet(albeit 2 mana sac outlet on top of the 3 mana casting cost is a lot), and he gives you an incredible blocker(it shouldn't be hard to activate if you have either stockpile or yahenni out). Also I feel that for a 3 drop big beater in standard that acts as a piece of the aristocrats engine he shouldn't be doing much the turn he drops. He should be providing more than enough value through the turns after he drops to be worth while.
Personally this card lines up pretty well with how I like to play magic, which is grinding out as much value I can from cards. I love playing cards that let me abuse their abilities throughout the game multiple times. Cards that excite me are like The Gitrog Monster, Crawling Sensations, Sage of Hours to name a few. When you see what I like you are probably thinking " slow, janky and inconsistent", but I see fun, and potentially super strong. I as a fellow marchesa edh player love that deck because you can reuse cards a potentially endless amount and just grind your opponents out of the game because of the crazy amount of value, and I see this being a component in a standard deck that kinda does the same thing of grinding out value till your opponent is dead.
If you guys can show me a list that wants to use him where he is genuinely ideal then I will concede.
Seems like you're thinking of trying to force it into a deck that isn't built around saccing stuff.
If saccing something only triggers a single card effect, you're not using Bontu correctly as he seems to be built around being the catalyst, not the threat himself.
tl;dr Synergy is important in Magic.
1. This card is dependent on another card to do ANYTHING. It can't do a single thing on its own.
2. Even if you have something like a Bloodghast to sac do you really want to destroy your tempo by spending 2 mana on this terrible activated ability every turn? Probably not. Now you need a better sac outlet, preferably a free one.
3. The card does nothing relevant the turn it's played
4. Once you sac your creature your opponent now has the ability to essentially 2 for 1 you by exiling Bontu.
Any deck that tries to make this God work is going to be slow, janky and inconsistent.
I truly hope I'm proven wrong but I can't imagine a single format that will want to use this.