Dr. Seuss meets Ray Comfort
Horton Hears an Evangelical
In a place known as Whoville the folks got distraught
When Horton the elephant said what he thought.
“The oddest of oddities isn’t as odd
As people believing that there is a god.”
The Who Jews and Muslims and Hindus and Buddhists
The Who Vegetarians, Wiccans, and Nudists,
The Who Presbyterians, Baptists, New Agers:
All spread the sad news on their cell phones and pagers.
A Who Evangelical fell to his knees
And he said, “Oh no, Horton! I beg of you, please!
We always have liked you. We all think you’re swell,
And we can’t stand the thought that you’re headed to hell!”
But Horton just laughed and he wiggled his trunk.
The bible to him was a big bunch of bunk.
He meant what he said and he said what he meant,
“Religion is silly a hundred percent.”
The Who Evangelical let out a snort in
A very snide way most insulting to Horton.
“You say you’re an atheist? Here’s what we’ll do —
We all know that atheists are anti-Who —
We’ll drive you from Whoville; we’ll send you away.
Or else we will force you to worship and pray.
A person’s a person, no matter how small
But an atheist isn’t a person at all!”
But Horton just laughed once again even louder
And told all the Whos he would not take a powder,
Nor worship some stupid nonsensical being
That no one was hearing and no one was seeing.
“I will not be threatened,” he said. “It’s not funny.
I won't trust your god with my flag or my money!
I will not allow him to influence science.
An elephant thrives on his own self-reliance!”
The Who Evangelical said, “My dear chap, sure
You think you’re so smart, but just wait till the rapture.”
The anti-Christ’s coming and then you will find,
That your friends are in heaven but you’re left behind.
“We cannot allow that to happen to you,
Because, after all, Jesus loves ev’ry Who.
You must accept God for the good of us all.
A person’s a person no matter how small.
“And though you’re no Who (you are just a big elephant),
God loves you, too. What you are is irrelevant.
He can destroy us if someone’s defiant.
A sinner’s a sinner no matter how giant!”
The Whos approached Horton, began to surround him.
If some of the Whos had their way, they’d have drowned him.
Some others thought maybe they might build a fire.
And stoning was mentioned among the Who choir.
But Horton was huge and avoided the crunch of them,
Picked up his foot, and he stepped on a bunch of them,
Hoped the survivors would give up their mission,
So here’s what he told them about superstition:
“The oddest of oddities isn’t as odd
As people believing that there is a god.
There isn’t a heaven, or hell you should dread.
A person’s a person — unless he is dead.”
Either way you look at it, my comments run the gamut from moderates to extremists. They're all stone cold **** nuts as far as I'm concerned. It's all a matter of the degree of nuts.
If I believe that sacrificing virgins appeasing my sky-god, would you not find that laughable?
We're not talking about isolated tribal religions that have an excuse of strange beliefs since they're cut-off from the beauty of science and the many explanations for incredible phenomena it offers.
What excuse does a modern evangelical have? One that uses their cell phone ignorantly unaware of electromagnetics, signal processing and whatnot going on in the background? What about the cancer treatment they receive? Or the simply antibiotics that makes a joke of what was once a fatal infection? And they have the nerve to deny evolution, developed using the same principles!
All of these things have been constructed via the scientific method. The scientific method has made religion a purely faith based system. There is no evidence for anything metaphysical, so you MUST have faith to believe in these things.
So what possible does ANYONE have to force their BELIEFS on the system in any way, shape or form? From stem cell research, to assisted suicide, to the fanatical muslims and their virgin reward... there's no better time to mock what complete idiots religious people are! If we tolerate stupidity and mediocrity society is going to go to hell in a handbasket (pun intended).