Why I hate DC and why Marvel is God

Ok, with all the comic-book-based movies coming out this year, I just thought that I should post here why I think DC is about as good as eating your own vomit, while Marvel is the King of Comics. The first reason is Superman. The first superhero comic and you couldn't even do it right. "Oh look, all I've got to wear are fake glasses and I've got a disguise!" So what, are all the people around him as smart as George Bush or something? Glasses on = Clark Kent, glasses off = Superman. Morons. Another thing about Superman I hate is this "let's cram as many superpowers into one dude as we can" mentality. Let's see, he's got cold breath, heat vision, super speed, the ability to fly, super strength, invulnerability...it's like his body is a clown car for superpowers. It's pretty damn boring when your superhero can just fart on the bad guy and said bad guy falls over dead.
Then we get to Batman. The second superhero I despise. What billionaire in his right mind is gonna put his life on the line night in and night out to keep a city safe? Really? And just out of the goodness of his heart? Another thing that I hate is that Bruce Wayne always fights crime at night. Damn, these supervillains he goes up against are about as smart as those civilians around Superman. Here's an idea: take over Gotham City during the DAYTIME! Bruce ain't gonna come after you unless it's pitch-black outside.
There's more, but I wanna get on to why Marvel is the King of Comics. First off, most of Marvel's superheroes have this other thing called Life to worry about. Spider-Man has to worry about an actual job, a girlfriend, bills, and everything else we have to worry about in our lives. Then you have the X-Men. If Superman had to put up with a tenth of the **** that the X-Men have to go through every ****ing day, he would turn into an emo ***** (well, an even worse one than he is already). Superman is a hero to the whole world. The X-Men? Even when they save a human's life, that human still wants to lynch the mutant.
In the interest of fairness, I'm gonna end it here with 2 examples on why DC sucks donkey balls and 2 examples why, if I was gay and Marvel was a dude, I would totally suck Marvel off. Hell, I would do that anyway, that's how cool Marvel is.
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