A friend of mine, a very good friend, passed away yesterday morning. After changing schools I had only had online/phone contact with him for about two months. It was really rough, but we were always good friends. I don't really know how to handle this. It's incredibly rough, I really don't know what to do, say to his family, or how to cope. Anyone, and I mean anyone, that has some advice, I'd love to hear it. If you don't want to post to this blog, then a PM would make my day. Please, I just need some help.
I'd recommend not avoiding thinking about him, if doing so brings a smile to your face regardless of the present. Over time it may feel like he never left, and thinking about the good times spent with the ones who've left us makes me feel like we're leaving them to rest in peace while giving peace to ourselves in exchange...
...I think that's how it should be. It's awfully tough and awful to lose someone, but in the big picture, the departed wouldn't want us to live in sadness because of them. Honor your friend by doing things you two liked to do together. It may even come to feel like he never left at all...
One day at a time. That's all I know how to do when it comes to losing someone. If you must think about him, which you will, try to remember the good times.
Grief manifests itself differently for everyone and people react very differently to loss like this. I'm not sure anyone knows what to do or say, which is probably why you so often hear the same lines said at every wake and funeral.
My advice to you would be to just take everything one step at a time, deal with things as they come. Talk to people, especially about what you're thinking. It won't do you much good to shut down and stew in your grief unless you're incredibly adept at compartmentalizing and dealing with things on your own. Most people need to express their grief, whether through breaking down, shows of anger or tirelessly doting on others. It's best to just go with it, express what you're feeling in whatever way you need to.
If you're looking for more advice, Salvation has a subforum dedicated to asking for and offering advice.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
-
View User Profile
-
Send Message
Posted Dec 22, 2008I'd recommend not avoiding thinking about him, if doing so brings a smile to your face regardless of the present. Over time it may feel like he never left, and thinking about the good times spent with the ones who've left us makes me feel like we're leaving them to rest in peace while giving peace to ourselves in exchange...
...I think that's how it should be. It's awfully tough and awful to lose someone, but in the big picture, the departed wouldn't want us to live in sadness because of them. Honor your friend by doing things you two liked to do together. It may even come to feel like he never left at all...
My condolences and best wishes to you.
-
View User Profile
-
Send Message
Posted Dec 21, 2008I'm sorry for your lost.
-
View User Profile
-
Send Message
Posted Dec 20, 2008Grief manifests itself differently for everyone and people react very differently to loss like this. I'm not sure anyone knows what to do or say, which is probably why you so often hear the same lines said at every wake and funeral.
My advice to you would be to just take everything one step at a time, deal with things as they come. Talk to people, especially about what you're thinking. It won't do you much good to shut down and stew in your grief unless you're incredibly adept at compartmentalizing and dealing with things on your own. Most people need to express their grief, whether through breaking down, shows of anger or tirelessly doting on others. It's best to just go with it, express what you're feeling in whatever way you need to.
If you're looking for more advice, Salvation has a subforum dedicated to asking for and offering advice.