Emotional rollercoaster
Year7 i was bullied,Strangled the bully then got internal suspension.
Year 8 i had 3 trips to hospital in 1 1/2 months.
This year(year9) i tried to kill my self. A friend tried to kill himself and just at the top i go to japan.
Through out the entire time i had only one thing to hold onto: Philosophy.
It's been the worst and best thing in my life. I literaly can't stop thinking about it. It's driving me crazy. I jus wan't to forget it. But i can't it's always there. I can't word what i say corectly meaning no one understands what i am talking about. my friends don't know what to do and neither do I. The physcatrist recomended book and said my brain was starved of other opinions.
I don't know what do. Should i end it all?:confused:
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Posted Jun 9, 2009As a former suicidal thinker, I can tell you it all depends on how you view life. It happened to me 2 years before you (when I was 12): I strongly contemplated death, but as I was going to kill myself, I realized how actually useless it'd be to stop living. It's like cheating and going to the end of the riddle of life where knowing the answer beforehand ruins everything. I felt like I was being too self-important, and starving children mattered less that my life. I was a total emo, so I couldn't bear draw that much importance to me. I could live and help those starving children.
Ending your life is never an answer. Keeping it to make the world a better place... now, that's a duty we all have.
I truly believe seeing emptiness is immaturity. Once you mature, you see light in everything.
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Posted Jun 8, 2009-
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Posted Jun 8, 2009Let me relate your personal life to mine:
I was bullied from my pre-teen years until I graduated because I was gay, I became depressed and went from 150lbs. to 215lbs in a matter of a year and a half before graduating. I finally got accepted to a good college, got in a bad relationship, shot up to 250 lbs., and failed out of college and got terminated. Now, things like a suspension from school or the illnesses I've had seem like nothing compared to the $30,000 of debt over my head.
That is a lot to deal with. But you know why I don't kill myself? Because I'm only human, and I can endure it. We all make mistakes, we go through bad times, but we can learn from our mistakes and endure our tough times and be stronger people for it. I have family and friends that love me, and you probably do too. You haven't even begun your life yet, you're still in school - you have many years ahead of you for things to get better, to be happy and shape your life as you see fit.
Life is a gift, don't throw it away. Taking your own life is only running away from your problems, and should there be a God in the afterlife your karma will follow you. You can endure, and see that maybe things really aren't that bad, and that there's more to life than the negative side of things.