MTG Salvation

Quote from Killane

Bearing in mind that I am in my late 20's, was raised by a writer, and have been writing in the course of my profession for many years, I have a few points I'd like to raise. I ask you to bear in mind the perspective from which I am writing because I can come across as unintentionall critical at times. This is not my intention.

The core structure of your letter is good. You present a good introduction in which you make a case for your qualification for the job (consistent attendance at the camp), and then you mvoe on to the primary reasons you are interested in the position, also a good idea. You conclude by highlighting personality traits that you believe would be assets for the position. I find this to be a good structure for this kind of letter, which is essentially a job application.

The areas that could use improvement are in the style of the writing. Mondu has pointed out some gramatical areas for improvement, which are all 100% correct. (His?) point regarding the use fo the word "compromise" is also key. While your intent with this section is clear to me, it may not be to all readers, and the word has enough potentially negitive connotations that it should be avoided here.

In the opening paragraph, you have used the word "year" (in its singular and plural form) four times in the course of two sentances. I would try to avoid that level of repetition, as it interferes with the natual "flow" of the writing, and makes it less attractive to the reader. The second sentance of that paragraph is also much too long, and casual in tone. The phrase "and everything" should be avoided - it's gramtically problematic and vague in its meaning. I'd attempt to edit that paragraph into a few smaller sentances, and avoid the casual tone.

The second sentance in the second paragraph is actually two sentances, as the ideas are not directly linked. I'd rework that.

As far as your final paragraph is concerned, I like your focus on being able to come to a compromise on disagreements. When applying for a job, it's usually better to use statements like "I strive to know as much about the topic at hand as possible" and "I make every effort to compromise on solutions to disagreements, so that everyone ends up happy". These are statements about your personal values and behaviours, rather than factual statements. They come across as less aggressive and more confident, rather than cocky.

Again, given that you are in 8th grade your letter is fine, especially for a first draft. I just thought I'd critique it just as I would a letter from a colleague at work, and let you take from it what you will. It certainly shows something that you even bothered to post it, ask the question, and maintain confidentiality. Most 8th graders, indeed most people I know who have not yet graduated highschool, would not have gone that far.

Quote from dcartist

Maslow's hierarchy of poop hygeine:

I: oral phase: puts poop in mouth.
II: plays with poop, throws poop.
II: understands poop is dirty, will poop when placed on potty, but parents clean up.
III: goes to potty to poop, cleans self up, but doesn't wash hands after doing #2.
IV: self actualization: Sits on potty, uses TP, and washes hands with soap and water afterward.


Which one of these stages of development would you look for in a roommate?

I would choose "IV". Call me a germaphobe if you must.

-

I wash my hands multiple times a day and wear multiple pairs of gloves because of work only. I scored just 11% on the germaphobe test.

Quote from dcartist

I've read that post and this post, and it's clear you don't know what the heck you're talking about. You're suggesting that people dont need to wash their hands after they take a ****. Your average 6 year old knows better.

It's people like you, who THINK you know better than basic rules of hygeine, who are the problem. You learned a little bit of biology and you think you're clever enough to RATIONALIZE your laziness in not wanting to wash your damn hands thoroughly.

Your ******* squirts out fecal matter when you crap. Whether you see it or not, it is spit out all over your butt cheeks every time you fart, and in the warm, moist environment in that crack, FECAL bacteria proliferate in generous numbers. When you put toilet paper down there, no matter how you bunch it up, there is a high probability that invisible quantities of fecal material (poop) will get on your hand, either penetrating the porous TP, or through incidental contact with your butt cheek or underwear. There are large colonies of fecal bacteria all over your ass and all over the toilet seat (unless you bleached it before you sat down). The toilet handle is covered with fecal bacteria as well.

you seriously know even less than I gave you credit for. You seem to have a bizarre concept of what the colon is. There can be more bacteria in your colon than actual human cells in your body. They live off the waste products of your digestion and do not usually cause disease when they stay in the colon. They live in stool, and most of the bacteria don't even interact with human cells. Just because they are "inside" the body doesnt mean they are inside your TISSUES to cause disease. E.coli in your colon usually is no more dangerous to you than bacteria between your TOES.

Your stomach however is largely sterile except for bacteria that can thrive in acid heavy environments (e.g. Helicobacter) and your small intestine is mostly STERILE. They stay sterile because normal oral bacteria mostly die when you swallow them and dip them in stomach acid.

Upper small intestine stays sterile mostly because what you dump there is virtually sterile and one way transit through the small intestine keeps it that way.

Large instestine (colon) is a giant bag of Filthy **** that will cause you disease if it gets into almost any part of your body.

If you introduce E.coli from your OWN colon, into your stomach, there is a good chance you will get really sick.

I frankly couldn't care less about that part.

But more important to the rest of US, when people like YOU take a dump, and don't wash your hands, you spread e.coli and other fecal bugs on table surfaces, on escalator railings, on the hands of people you shake hands with.

And I am explaining to you why you don't know what you're talking about.

When you did those skin swab bacterial culture experiments, you took away te wrong take home message. Yes, you will always have bacteria on your hand surface, but most of your skin bugs are going to be gram positives and actually the number of bacteria is important to causing disease. The TYPE of bacteria is critical as well. Also many disease causing organisms (especially the kind you cough out) don't have a long life on your skin surface and can be killed and/or washed off with soap and water (e.g. Flu virus). There's a reason that people died at such a high rate when they got shot through the colon. There's a reason they do a bowel prep (where they clean out your whole colon with liquid laxatives and antibiotics) before attempting many abdominal surgeries. Please learn and remember that fecal bacteria are ****ing dangerous.

Quit perpetuating ideas that are both dead wrong and dangerous for other people to follow.

Quote from Spike the Nonspike

Wash your hands carefully when you're in a hospital or visiting someone there. Seriously, this is the only occurrence I can think of when taking a lot of care is appropriate.

Quote from Eberbacher

Festival= place where for a certain amount of time, people meet to see and hear a certain kind of performance

metal= a kind of music that originated from rock

Come on, nobody can be that ignorant, not to know what metal is.

Do you never go to concerts? If you have a goood spot, you´ll defend it with your life, and you will stay there.
Cosiidering the drinking, on a festival we drink also a gallon a day.
Beer.


Water is for washing.