Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as they say, but the aphorism is not usually understood as it ought to be: how miraculous must be this eye of the beholder, to serve as source for all the beauty in the universe! Beauty is not a physical phenomenon. No "beauty particle" flies through space to strike the retina. A goldfish or a GoPro could look up at the stars, process the visual image just as well as we, and yet remain unmoved by the sight. Only human beings wonder what they are -- and that wonder is such a deep part of our nature that our youngest children sing about it in nursery rhymes. Immeasurably tiny as we are beneath the cosmos, we have the ultimate power over it, that of appreciation. The laws of physics wrought the stars as blind, dead things hanging in emptiness; it is only in our eyes that they become sublime.
And it gets better. We are not merely beholders of stars. When we turn to behold each other, then the magic really begins. Every single human being has their own vision of the universe reflected in their eyes. We all see the same universe, but we all see it differently. Seven billion universes, each one similar enough to our own that communication is possible between them, but utterly unique in its majesty. As if one cosmos were not vast enough to give us endless marvels, we will never run out of new ones to explore. With friends!
We have got to be the luckiest damn creatures in existence.
So don't waste these opportunities. Don't waste this power of appreciation. If you don't see the beauty in stars and rocks and beetles and humans, then nothing else in the universe will.
Don't be so proud as to think that you have nothing to gain from listening to other perspectives. You're missing out on entire universes. And the craziest ones are often the most fascinating.
And don't be so humble as to think that you have nothing to offer others in your perspective. You, too, contain an entire universe, and nobody else can see it unless you let them.
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- Highroller
- Registered User
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Member for 19 years, 3 months, and 14 days
Last active Wed, Mar, 16 2022 22:05:46
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3
We have a pandemic. A LITERAL PLAGUE is going on. It’s killed millions of people and continues to rage on.
So sensible people have seen this and realized that we can’t just live out our lives the way we used to when there’s a highly infectious, deadly disease running rampant, because that would be irresponsible and kill a ton of people. What we need to do is take necessary precautions to combat the spread of Covid-19. Thus, we have public health and safety measures.
Now, let’s be very clear: no one particularly likes these safety measures. But the prudent among us understand that these measures are necessary to get the virus under control, and if we do that, we can then safely go back to our regular lives. These people recognize that public safety measures are the solution to the problem. Adhering to them is the path to getting to a point in which we no longer have to.
We have seen it demonstrated across multiple countries that adherence to safety protocols such as social distancing, testing, masking, and vaccination help to get the virus under control and facilitate a return to relative normalcy. The coronavirus is a problem, but it’s a problem with a known solution.
The issue has been the significant percentage of people who refuse to adhere to safety protocols, either out of ignorance of the facts surrounding the threat of the coronavirus and the efficacy of public safety measures, or out of not caring whether or not people die as long as a person is not inconvenienced by them. These people have actively undermined attempts to control the virus in many countries - including the United States, in which hundreds of thousands of otherwise preventable deaths have occurred.
And this is what makes the Covid-19 situation such a uniquely infuriating one: there is absolutely no reason for the problem to have ever gotten this bad, and wouldn’t have had people acted sensibly by adhering to public safety precautions. Yet many consistently did not, which has subverted the responsible majority at every turn.
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We originally attempted a lockdown to try to get the virus under control. This would have worked, as evidenced by countries who did so successfully, but while it did get the numbers down, it failed to do enough because not enough people locked down.
We eventually opened the country back up, and then prescribed a regimen of social distancing and rigorous testing for the virus. This would have worked, as evidenced by countries who did so successfully, but while it did get the numbers down, it failed to do enough because not enough people got tested nor adhered to social distancing protocols, nor quarantined when they got it.
Amazingly, we ended up getting a vaccine for Covid that was over 90% effective against the major strain in record time, and the US accumulated enough of the vaccine to be able to vaccinate every American. The plan was to get enough people vaccinated to get the numbers for Covid down. This would have worked, as evidenced by countries who did so successfully, but while it did get the numbers down, it failed to do enough because not enough people got vaccinated.
Once again, public health measures would have not only combated the coronavirus’ spread, thus saving hundreds of thousands of lives, but would have also reduced the numbers to the point that we would have been able to relax said public health measures, thereby allowing us to live more freely.
Yet, at every turn, America seen vociferous opposition to health measures that would have protected lives and allowed us a return to relative normalcy. And a major contributing factor to this has been the sheer volume of speakers on the internet spreading misinformation and maligning both scientists and healthcare workers, and the safety measures they have recommended. We’re in the mess we’re in because of these people.
So that’s why it’s so maddening to see you post something like this:
No, you’re not. You’re actively spreading misinformation about Covid-19, and you’re also calling for an end to masking for children - a safety measure that has saved countless lives, and the removal of which would kill countless numbers of children and leave still more immunocompromised for the rest of their lives - for ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD REASON AT ALL.
You’re part of the problem!
That’s why it’s so maddening to see you post something like this:
Great, SO GET ON BOARD THEN! Go do your part! You're the one who isn't doing what he's supposed to be doing! It’s people like you who are the holdouts that are subverting the work that the responsible people are doing.
The good news is you don’t have to be an obstacle. You can change.
Are you tired of this pandemic? Do you want to get back to regular life and not have to wear masks? Cool. SO DO WE. The difference is we understand that it’s not safe to do so right this moment and it will take some work to get there.
You want to help? First of all, get vaccinated. Second, socially distance, and wear a mask when unable to remain 6 feet apart from someone in a public setting. Third, keep an eye on your health, and get tested if you feel symptoms of Covid-19. If the test is positive, adhere to proper quarantining protocols until you are no longer infectious.
And fourth, encourage this behavior in others. Encourage people to get vaccinated, to wear masks, and to get tested. Rather than copy/pasting articles from anti-science radicals, or making posts about promoting measures that would cause countless children to die, instead do the opposite:
Share articles from experts in the field of virology and from reputable medical professionals.
Actively promote public health measures and share data about their demonstrated efficacy.
Try to promote plans that don’t involve countless children dying horrible deaths for no good reason.
These small actions can produce a lot of positive change, and can encourage others to take proactive steps to do so as well.
3
Because that is what we're wearing the masks for. Because otherwise children will die. Because, and again, I have no idea how you continue to not understand this: WE HAVE A PLAGUE GOING ON.
We're not making children wear masks for *****s and giggles, we're doing it because there's a plague going on. One which has killed over 5 million people in less than 2 years.
So I ask again, would you rather the children die?
Because if you were to say to me, "Yes, I would rather millions more die from a virus than to have to go through the minor inconvenience of wearing a mask," then at least you would be demonstrating self-awareness and honesty.
But you do not, DO NOT ever, ever, EVER get to post anti-science, anti-vaxxer, anti-medicine nonsense on the internet and then close it by saying you're choosing love.
You are perpetuating a problem that millions have died from, that people have given their lives to combat, that people are risking their lives now to stop, that people are laboring tirelessly to treat, that people are working around the clock to try to educate people that we can get this problem under control. How dare you say that you're choosing love by actively trying to undermine their efforts and their sacrifices? How dare you say you are choosing love by openly advocating for the death of innocent children? You might as well have just pissed on five million graves.
4
And here you are doing the same thing. You may have moved on from that person, but you've clearly gone from one anti-science social media person to another, because the statements you are making are still anti-science, still counter-factual, and still devoid of data.
Yes. Vaccines, masking, and social distancing. They work. The data proves it. When they're actually implemented, they work.
There clearly was. Social distancing saved lives.
It's not in a state of prolonged gridlock. We closed nonessential businesses because it was a necessary measure to get the virus under control. We did remote distance learning because it was a necessary measure to keep children safe. Both schools and businesses have since reopened.
Again, how are you still maintaining this stance after 1 1/2 years? We've seen what happens when the virus numbers drop: things reopen. We close them as a matter of public safety. We reopen them when the virus numbers drop below a certain point. The answer is no, we're not in perpetual lockdown, as demonstrated by us not being in lockdown anymore.
What are you talking about? Virtually no one is quitting their job over the vaccine mandates. The number is estimated at 1% of all workers in the US. 1%.
Who do you think is traumatizing the children more: the people who are adhering to public safety advice to benefit society in the face of a widespread global pandemic, or the people who refuse to listen to science and reason and pursue courses of action that would directly lead to the pandemic continuing and, in turn, causing greater threat and harm to said children?
Because doing a year of remote learning is not going to be anywhere near as debilitating as being immuno-compromised, to say nothing of dying from covid.
Really does feel like you are, dude, especially since those measures that you're railing against saved countless lives, and because you're spreading the very misinformation that no doubt cost many people their lives.
Once again, not actually happening, it's close to like 1% if that.
Which was preventable, and would have been prevented had people distanced, adhered to mask policy, and gotten vaccinated.
Wait, "thankfully?" Why are you spreading anti-vaccination nonsense like eating fruits and vegetables to combat covid if you're pro-vaccine?
Second, we are definitely not at 70% vaccination. Where are you getting your data? We're at about 60%. The goal is over 80%. And one of the biggest problems towards getting there has been rampant misinformation about healthcare measures such as the vaccine against Covid. Which you are participating in. If you want more people to get vaccinated, you should aspire to do your part by seeking to listen to the very experts you are deriding and actually propagating things grounded in fact, rather than misinformation.
Ok, Dr. Oz is a media personality, sure. Dr. Fauci, on the other hand, is the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases and the Chief Medical Advisor to the President. There is absolutely no comparison between the two.
And here we are with the conspiracy theories.
Again, specifics. What, SPECIFICALLY, about what Fauci has said do you take objection to?
Is it that he advised people to socially distance, wear masks, and get vaccinated - the measures that have been proven to work to combat covid?
What do you actually have about Fauci that's actually objectionable?
Which is really astounding coming from someone who admits himself he propagated conspiracy theories, and also is STILL DOING SO.
... How, exactly? By making a vaccine to the pandemic? The one you admit is a good thing?
Except you're still propagating anti-science nonsense. You've just switched from one source of misinformation to another.
Are you agreeing with me that the sources of misinformation are the ones who are really the ones spreading anxiety and fear, or are you agreeing with the post that has been explicitly proven to be nonsense, I'm confused.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Well, it's not a booster for Omicron. It's a booster. There's still research ongoing as to whether the vaccine/booster are effective against Omicron.
May I ask you something?
What is your actual argument, here, exactly?
Like, I'm genuinely trying to figure this out. What is even your stance at this point?
You accuse doctors and politicians who are advocating things like masks and vaccines as being wrong and bad and fearmongering, which shows you are clearly listening to anti-science, anti-vaccination people on the internet, and yet, you say that vaccines are good and not only do you concede that covid is not a hoax, but you personally know people who have gotten it.
So I don't understand your position at all.
3
The politicians who rail on about personal liberties are vaccinated. Fox News goes off on how wrong the Biden administration's vaccine and Covid-testing policies are when the ones that Fox News operates on are even more stringent. Donald Trump himself, who ran around talking about how all of this talk of Covid was going to go away after the election, (A) got covid, (B) received a variety of drugs to treat covid, and (C) got a covid vaccine.
Hell, we're now seeing an influx of natural cure bloggers and social media people getting the vaccine, and then advising followers take vinegar or silver or whatever dumb thing to remove the nonexistent harmful effects of the vaccine.
It's overwhelmingly just pandering to the crowd who believes this nonsense, as well as fomenting general ignorance to advance their own gain.
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Card Slinger J: Have you actually read the article you cited?
MILLIONS OF PEOPLE HAVE DIED.
I mean, come on, dude, it's been 1 1/2 years since the OP. We know how this all plays out, we know damn well that the coronavirus has killed millions. How are you still defending your position?
A. You are promoting conspiracy theories right now as we are talking.
B. Why did you put "experts" in quotes and then proceed to list actual experts? You even said "health experts" in the list of people you were contrasting with "experts." That makes no sense.
That's not what's happening. The only people who are trying to keep people in a state of irrational fear are the people who are trying to spread unfounded, baseless misinformation over the pandemic.
I will point out, once again, that the article you've based this thread around claimed that the coronavirus was a hoax and wasn't going to kill millions of people, when we know that's exactly what the hell it did.
Specifics. WHO is spreading a perpetual state of fear and anxiety, and HOW, exactly?
Keep in mind that the obviously wrong article that you started this thread around concluded with, "Governments will enthusiastically promote social distancing as the only way to keep us safe but unless we stand up and fight and tell the truth, social distancing will be with us for years possibly forever and as a result our lives will be ruined in every conceivable way."
This is completely false. The majority of people who have been hospiralized with Covid-19 are unvaccinated. Vaccines are proven to prevent hospitalization of Covid-19.
Unless... Are you saying that you find it crazy that people who severe cases with Covid-19 are sent to the ICU? Because of course they're sent to the Intensive Care Unit, dude. The Intensive Care Unit is where you send people who have a medical emergency and therefore need intensive care. That's why it's called the Intensive Care Unit. Where else would you send them?
Fruits and vegetables have nothing to do with preventing Covid.
Furthermore, the entire idea of a strong immune response preventing Covid hospitalization is nonsense. A lot of the deaths of Covid are because of complications resulting from inflammation, which is the result of the body's immune system reacting too strongly to Covid.
Again, why are you quoting "experts" when you've already said that the people who are informed are the ones who talked to health experts?
They were talking about a third dose before Omicron. Further, the vaccine is still proven to be effective against Delta.
Nobody likes socially distancing or masking. We do it because it is the responsible thing to do during a major health crisis. There's a global pandemic going on and the path to combating said pandemic is to socially distance, wear masks, and above all get vaccinated.
Because so much of the country did not actually do so. Largely because of rhetoric like what you are parroting.
Contrast the US with New Zealand, a country that actually did pursue aggressive lockdown measures. Indeed, compare our covid numbers with South Korea, who got it at the same time we did, or, hell, China, who was ground zero for the virus. These preventative measures work when they're actually followed.
Sadly, we have people who refuse to do what is responsible and who continue to refuse to get a vaccine - A VACCINE DEVELOPED DURING THE TRUMP PRESIDENCY AND WHOM TRUMP HIMSELF HAS OPENLY ADMITTED TO HAVING TAKEN - who refuse to mask up, who refuse to socially distance, and who propagate misinformation when a highly-contagious disease continues to kill over a thousand people each day in America.
1
I wish you all the best wherever you may go from here.
1
Instead, you can spend your time working on being a better person.
1
1
Now that MTGNews collapsed and all record of this has been expunged, I wanted to take the liberty of posting this expansion, that it may be enjoyed.
Unfortunately, I don't know who created this joke. I would love to give them credit, as I think it's amazing. If anyone does know, please share.
Here it goes:
WHITE
Beeble Balance - 2WW
Sorcery
Each player chooses a number of permanents equal to the number of Beebles they
control and sacrifices the rest.
In the event of a war, it's thought that only Beebles would remain. Maybe
that's way they started one.
Beeblegeddon - 1W
Sorcery
Destroy all lands. At end of turn, each opponent may put an artifact,
enchantment, creature or land into play.
"It's not the best plan, but it's the best we've got." - Falz, Wizard Commander,
Benalish Infantry.
Beeble Mascot - 1W
Creature - Equine Beeble
1/1
First Strike
Not recommended for children under 3.
Beeble of Runes - 2W
Creature - Beeble Cleric
1/1
When Beeble of Runes comes into play, choose a color. Beeble of Runes gains
protection from that color permanently.
Beebles who need Beebles - 2WWW
Enchantment
When a beeble goes to the graveyard when another beeble is in play, return that
beeble to play at the end of turn.
"They're the luckiest Beebles..." - last words of a Benalish Infantryman before
being killed by friendly fire.
Beeblicorn - 2W
Creature - Equine Beeble
2/2
First Strike
"Mmmm. Pointy."
Bible Beebles - 3W
Creature - Beebles
1/1
T: Gain control of target creature. Sacrifice that creature and Bible Beebles
at end of turn.
"I think I've found my first target." - Gorad the Thunderer.
Bipedal Beeble - 3W
Creature - Human Beeble
3/3
Trample
"For the last time, I am not a freaking beeble!"
Blinding Beebles - 2W
Creature - Beebles
2/2
When Blinding Beebles attack, you may tap target creature.
They're a source of humiliation, frustration and illumination.
Blinking Beebles - 3WW
Creature - Beebles
2/2
1: Return Blinking Beebles to its owner's hand
"The only way to make Beebles more annoying is to improve on nature." - Lyon,
Student of the Academy.
Discussabeeble - 2W
Creature - Beeble
2/2
T: Target attacking creature is considered blocked.
"If I'd known they had a language, I wouldn't have eaten so many." - Gorad the
Thunderer.
Excusabeeble - 1W
Creature - Beeble
1/1
Remove Excusabeeble from the game: Tap all beebles.
"This one seems to have the most influence." - Falz, Wizard Commander, Benalish
Infantry.
Helpful Beebles - 3W
Creature - Beebles
2/2
Gain 1 life for each damage dealt by Helpful Beebles
"I thought I saw this one smile!" - Theal, Student of the Academy.
Indestructabeeble - 2WW
Creature - Beeble
1/1
Prevent all damage dealt to Indestructabeeble.
1: Regenerate
1: Indestructabeeble may not be the target of spells or effects
"Guns don't kill Beebles..."
Ordinary Beebles - WW
Creature - Beebles
1/1
T: Prevent all damage dealt to Ordinary Beebles from any one source. Treat any
further damage from that source normally.
"They have adapted to our weapons. We will be assimilated!" - Benalish
Infantryman.
Reprisabeeble - 1W
Instant
Sacrifice a beeble: Remove target attacking creature from the game. Gain life
equal to that creature's toughness. That creature's controller gains life equal
to the toughness of the sacrificed beeble.
"The most heroic ball of fluff I've ever seen." - Lyon, Student of the Academy.
Removabeeble - 2W
Enchantment
When Removabeeble comes into play, remove target creature from the game. When
Removabeeble leaves play, return all creatures removed in this way.
"It's only a temporary measure." - Lyon, Student of the Academy.
Vanilla Beebles - 1W
Creature - Beebles
2/2
"Why are they called 'vanilla' when there's nothing but flavor text written
here?" - Bill Rose, WotC Research & Development.
Vil Maino, Beeblutionary - 2WW
Creature - Beeble Legend
As long as Vil Maino, Beeblutionary is untapped and not attacking, all attacking
Beebles you control get +1/+1 until end of turn
"I want to be remembered as a Beeble." - Matthew Villamaino.
Weeping Beebles - 1W
Creature - Beebles
1/1
Creatures blocking Weeping Beebles get -1/-0 until end of turn.
"Wait! Don't cry! I didn't mean it...I'll put my sword away..." - Gorad the
Thunderer, in a weaker moment.
Wuvabeeble - WW
Creature - Beeble
1/1
If Wuvabeeble is the target of a spell or effect controlled by an opponent, gain
3 life.
Gorad raised his bloodied hammer one last time before his resolve left him.
BLUE
ASPCB - 2U
Enchantment
If a beeble is dealt damage, the controller of the source of that damage removes
the top card of his library from the game for each point of damage dealt.
"They don't deserve this! They're just trying to find a place to live!" - Falz,
Wizard Commander, Benalish Infantry.
Beeble Gum - 2U
Enchantment
Beebles don't untap during their controllers' untap step
"It was meant to be a dental adhesive, but it was toxic to humans. Now I'm glad
I made 400 barrels of the stuff." - Lyon - Student of the Academy.
Beeblemorph - 3U
Enchantment
Sacrifice a Beeble: Reveal cards from your library until you reveal a Beeble
card. Put that card into play and remove the rest from the game.
"Swat one, and another one takes its place." - Gorad the Thunderer.
Beebles Beyond the Stars - 2U
Enchantment
All Beebles gain flying
If only they had looked up...
Beeblor - 3UU
Creature - Beeble Legend
2/2
All non-legend creatures in your hand, library and graveyard become Beebles.
2: Target beeble gets +1/+1 until end of turn
"Be a Beeble."
Binding Beebles - 3UU
Creature - Beebles
0/1
Binding Beebles cannot leave play
The Headmaster watched the Beeble shrug off his most powerful spells. His
students deserved both an 'A', and a good ass-kicking.
Blowing Beebles - U
Creature - Beebles
1/1
Flying
Sacrifice Blowing Beebles: Target creature gains flying until end of tun.
Hours of fun for children 4-12.
Buyback Beebles - 3U
Enchantment
Return Buyback Beebles to its owner's hand: Put a 1/1 blue Beeble token into
play under your control.
"We have to find out where they're coming from!" - Roegar, Shrubmaster.
Doubtabeeble - 1UU
Creature - Beeble
1/1
Sacrifice Doubtabeeble: Counter target spell or effect that targets a permanent
you control.
They destroy what they don't understand, and they don't understand much.
Evacubeeble - 2UU
Sorcery
Return all Beebles to their owners' hands.
"I think these belong to you." - Academy Headmaster.
Force of Beebles - 3U
Instant
You may reveal three Beeble cards from your hand instead of paying Force of
Beebles' mana cost
Counter target spell
"The hand that contains the Beebles is the hand that controls the world." -
Theal, Student of the Academy.
Incredabeeble - 3UU
Creature - Beeble
2/2
U: Incredabeeble is unblockable until end of turn
U: Incredabeeble may not be the target of spells or effects until end of turn.
U: Return Incredabeeble to its owners' hand.
"Leave it for me!" snarled Gorad, as he readied his Beeble hammer.
Invisibeeble - UU
Creature - Beeble
1/1
Invisibeeble may only be blocked by walls.
"I think I heard something." - Bela, Elvish Gnomist.
Irritabeeble - 2UU
Enchantment
All spells cost an additional X to play, where X is the number of Beebles in
play.
"How can you concentrate on your studies? That's why you're not allowed pets at
the Academy." - Academy Headmaster.
Phantom Beebles - 1U
Creature - Undead Beebles
2/2
Phantom Beebles are unblockable.
"I thought I saw something." - Bela, Elvish Gnomist.
Prebeeble - 1U
Creature - Baby Beeble
0/1
When Prebeeble comes into play, put 3 evolution counters on it. During your
upkeep, remove an evolution counter. When there are no more evolution counters
on Prebeeble, it gains flying, +3/+2, and is unblockable as long as your
opponent controls an artifact.
"See? On the end of my thumb. That's what they look like in the early stages."
- Falz, Wizard Commander, Benalish Infantry.
Prismatic Beeble - 2U
Creature - Beeble
2/2
0: Prismatic Beeble becomes the color of your choice permanently.
Sacrifice Prismatic Beeble: Target permanent becomes the color of your choice
permanently.
All the colors of the rainbow.
Prodigal Beebler - 2UU
Creature - Beeble Wizard
1/1
Haste
T: Prodigal Beebler deals 1 damage to target creature of player. Return
Prodigal Beebler to its owner's hand.
Hit and run tactics used by the humans were quickly assimilated by the Beebles.
Purple Beeble Eater - 2UU
Creature - Beeble Eater
1/1
T: Destroy target Beeble. Put a +1/+1 counter on Purple Beeble Eater. Target
opponent gains control of Purple Beeble Eater.
"It's not just Beebles that came through the portal." - Lyon, Student of the
Academy.
Rosewater Hunter - 2U
Creature - Horror
1/1
When Rosewater Hunter damages a player, you may pay 2. If you do, look through
that players library and remove a Beeble card from the game.
T: Destroy all cards from the Urza's Destiny expansion.
"We have to go back in time and destroy their creator." - Academy Headmaster.
Questionable Beeblage - U
Enchant Creature
Play only on a Beeble
Enchanted creature is no longer considered a Beeble
"A beeble half-breed? It makes me sick just to think about it!" - Roegar,
Shrubmaster.
Tradabeeble - 1U
Creature - Beeble
4/4
When Tradabeeble comes into play, exchange control of it with target permanent
your opponent controls. If Tradabeeble leaves play, remove it from the game.
"It's big, it's bad, and it's a little too friendly." - Lyon, Student of the
Academy.
Unbelievabeeble - 1U
Instant
Counter target spell unless its controller pays X, where X is the number of
Beebles you control.
"How can I concentrate with all that Beebling?" - Academy Headmaster.
BLACK
Beeblic Horror - 3BBB
Creature - Beeble Horror
4/4
Flying, First Strike. During your upkeep, pay BBB and sacrifice a swamp, or tap
Beeblic Horror and sacrifice all lands.
"I've discovered a particularly disturbing mutation. This requires more study."
- Dreel, Zombie Master.
Beeblicious - 1B
Instant
Remove all Beebles in all graveyards from the game.
They keep the zombies quiet.
Beebular Degradation - 2BB
Enchantment
During each players upkeep, that player puts X -1/-1 counters on creatures they
control, where X is equal to the number of Beebles in play.
"I grow tired of these Beebles. Fetch me some puppies." - Dreel, Zombie Master.
Bellowing Beebles - 3BB
Creature - Beebles
2/2
When Bellowing Beebles comes into play, all other creatures get -2/-1
"Nothing living can make a noise like that." - Falz, Wizard Commander, Benalish
Infantry.
Breakfast of Beebles - 3BB
Instant
If you control a swamp, you may sacrifice a Beeble instead of paying Breakfast
of Beeble's mana cost.
All creatures you control get +2/+1 until end of turn
"You need to cut off their legs, or they'll walk right off the grill." - Gorad
the Thunderer.
Carrion Beebles - B
Creature - Beebles
1/1
T: Sacrifice Carrion Beebles: Remove a card in any graveyard from the game.
They feed off the death, misery and inconvenience of others.
Decombeeble - B
Enchant Creature
Whenever enchanted Creature taps, put a -0/-1 counter on it.
Elder Beebles would grow weak and die within a few days, but not before siring a
hundred more.
Disembeeble - BB
Sorcery
Destroy target Beeble. Gain 3 Life
"Turn them inside out and they make great pouches." - Dreel, Zombie Master.
Death Beebles - B
Creature - Beebles
1/1
Protection from White
"I like these ones. Something about them..." - Dreel, Zombie Master.
False Beeble - 2BB
Creature - Beeble
2/2
When False Beeble goes to the graveyard, remove it from the game. If you do,
return all creatures from all graveyards into play.
"Don't touch that! It's not a Beeble!" - Lyon, Student of the Academy.
Feast of the Beeblicorn - 2B
Enchant Creature
Enchanted Creature gains +1/+0 and First Strike
It makes you horny.
Frothing Beebles - 2B
Creature - Beebles
1/1
If Frothing Beebles is blocked, it deals 1 damage to all creature blocking it.
Fortunately for him, Gorad wore his stompin' boots that day.
Hungry, Hungry Beebles - 2BB
Creature - Beebles
3/3
During your upkeep, sacrifice another creature and put a +1/+1 counter on
Hungry, Hungry Beebles, or tap Hungry, Hungry Beebles and lose 3 life.
"If Beebles have an evolved intelligence, these ones must be the missing link."
- Falz, Wizard Commander, Benalish Infantry.
Plague Beebles - B
Creature - Beebles
1/1
Plague Beebles is unblockable as long as any player controls a white permanent.
"I think they're attracted to our armor." - Benalish Infantryman.
Reconstructabeeble - 1B
Creature - Undead Beeble
1/1
1B: Regenerate Reconstructabeeble.
During your upkeep, if Reconstructabeeble is in your graveyard you may pay 1
life and return it to your hand.
"I could've sworn I killed that one." - Gorad the Thunderer.
Skulking Beebles - 1B
Creature - Undead Beebles
2/1
Flying
If Skulking Beebles is the target of a spell or effect by an opponent, that
opponent gains control of Skulking Beebles.
They're not just frightening children any more...
Stinking Beebles - B
Creature - Beebles
1/1
If Stinking Beebles becomes blocked, destroy all creatures blocking it.
The army that had stood against dragons scattered like frightened children.
Terrobeeble - 1B
Instant
Sacrifice a Beeble: Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated.
Once cornered, the Beebles could be expected to do almost anything.
Vampiric Beebles - BBB
Creature - Beebles
1/1
Pay half your life rounded up: Search your library for a card and put it in your
hand. Shuffle your library. Draw a card.
"I taught them to fetch, but..." - Theal, Student of the Academy.
Zombeebles - 2B
Creature - Undead Beebles
2/2
Swampwalk
If you go down to the swamp today, you're in for a big surprise...
RED
Beeblebind - 2RR
Enchantment
3, Discard a card: If the discarded card was a Beeble card, Beeblebind deals 4
damage to target creature or player.
"Perhaps we can use this Beeble horde to our advantage." - Soag, Goblin
Scientist.
Beeble Bomb - 1RR
Enchantment
During your upkeep, sacrifice all permanents. Put two 1/1 red Beeble tokens
into play for each permanent sacrificed in this way.
The Headmaster failed to see the humor.
Beeble Hammer - R
Instant
Beeble Hammer deals 1 damage to target creature or player. If a beeble is
damaged this way, return Beeble Hammer to its owners hand instead of putting it
in the graveyard.
A master of the sword, pike, morningstar and countless other weapons, Gorad put
all of his faith into a simple carpenters hammer. Soon it would be stained with
the blood of a thousand Beebles.
Beebleslinger - 2R
Creature - Beeble
1/1
T, Sacrifice a Beeble: Beebleslinger deals X damage to target creature of
player, where X is the power of the Beeble sacrificed.
He'll have someone's eye out.
Beeble Spark - 1R
Instant
Beeble Spark deals 1 damage to target creature or player and 1 damage to all
Beebles.
"This might shake them up a bit." - Lyon, Student of the Academy.
Beebling Mass - RR
Creature - Beebles
0/0
As Beebling Mass would come into play, sacrifice all beebles. Beebling mass
comes into play with +1/+0 counters equal to the sacrificed Beebles' total
power, and +0/+1 counters equal to the sacrificed Beebles total toughness.
The eerie silence didn't last long.
Beeble Sea - 1RR
Enchantment
Creatures must attack if able.
All Beebles gain Islandwalk
"Typical Beeble Sea. Four channels and nothing's on." - Ham, Trainee
Shrubmaster.
Biting Beebles - 2R
Creature - Beebles
3/3
When Biting Beebles taps, it deals 2 damage to a creature you control
Don't try and take their food away either...
Blathering Beebles - R
Creature - Beebles
3/3
Blathering Beebles cannot block
If Blathering Beebles attacks, toss a coin. If you lose the toss, Blathering
Beebles deals no combat damage this turn.
"I think they're trying to communicate." - Falz, Wizard Commander, Benalish
Infantry.
Burning Beebles - 2R
Creature - Beebles
2/2
Sacrifice Burning Beebles: Burning Beebles deals 2 damage to target creature
"My Shock Troops could learn a thing or two from them." - Gorad the Thunderer.
Chaotic Beebles - R
Creature - Beebles
2/2
At the end of your turn, if you dealt no damage to an opponent this turn, target
opponent gains control of Chaotic Beebles.
"If they worked for money, I'd call them mercenaries. I think they work for
fun." - Falz, Wizard Commander, Benalish Infantry.
Flow of Beebles - 2R
Instant
Sacrifice X Beebles: All Beebles you control get +X/+0.
"They're pelting us with their dead!" - Benalish Infantryman.
Forking Beebles - 2RR
Creature - Beebles
1/1
T, RR, Sacrifice Forking Beebles: Forking Beebles' effect becomes a copy of
target Instant or Sorcery spell, except it remains red and you choose the new
target if any.
"Not again!" shouted the Headmaster. "We have to find a way to get rid of these
Forking Beebles!"
Once More with Beebling - 3RRR
Sorcery
If you control a Beeble, you may play Once More with Beebling without paying the
mana cost.
All players shuffle their permanents, hand and graveyard into their owner's
libraries. Players then reveal the top 15 cards of their library. Put all
permanents into play and shuffle the rest back into the library. All players
draw 7 cards
Overbeeble - 2RR
Creature - Beeble Legend
2/2
R: Target attacking Beeble gains +1/+0 until end of turn. That Beeble is
unblockable if defending player controls a blue permanent.
Gorad respected the Overbeeble, as he merrily bludgeoned it into a bloody mass.
Progressive Beebles - 1R
Creature - Beebles
3/3
All basic lands you control are considered non-basic lands.
"They're feeding off the mana, and now they've poisoned the land!" - Academy
Headmaster.
Seething Beebles - 1R
Creature - Beebles
2/1
First Strike
"That's not a snake." - Ham, Trainee Shrubmaster.
Thunderbeeble - R
Creature - Beeble
1/1
When Thunderbeeble comes into play, tap all creatures. Sacrifice Thunderbeeble
at the end of turn.
"How can something the size of my thumb have a set of lungs more powerful than a
Juzam Djinn?" - Gorad the Thunderer.
Unblockabeeble - RRR
Creature - Beeble
2/2
If Unblockabeeble becomes blocked, it deals 20 damage to all creatures blocking
it. Those creatures cannot regenerate this turn.
"Yes, well, TECHNICALLY you can block it, but..." - Lyon, Student of the
Academy.
United Beebles - 2R
Creature - Beebles
3/3
If United Beebles attacks, all creatures you control must attack.
United Beebles cannot block.
"If I thought they were organized in any way, my tactics might be different." -
Falz, Wizard Commander, Benalish Infantry.
Vandabeebles - 3R
Creature - Beebles
3/3
When Vandabeebles comes into play, destroy target artifact. Vandabeebles deals
damage to you equal to the destroyed artifact's converted mana cost.
The Beebles didn't know what it was, and afterwards, nobody else could tell what
it used to be.
GREEN
Baby Beebles - G
Creature - Baby Beebles
1/1
If Baby Beebles goes to the graveyard, each opponent sacrifices a land.
"They don't make good fertilizer either." - Dreel, Zombie Master.
Beeblebane - 1G
Enchant Land
Plays only on a land you control
Beebles may not attack you unless their controller pays an additional 3 for each
attacking Beeble.
If a beeble deals combat damage to you, the controller of that damage may move
Beeblebane to a land he or she controls and gains control of Beeblebane.
Beeble Bones - 1G
Sorcery
Gain 1 life for each Beeble in all graveyards.
The hair on Bela's neck stood up. She had found the legendary Beebles'
Graveyard, and it smelled like chicken...
Beebler Elves - 2G
Creature - Beeble Elves
1/1
Each Beeble you control gains "T: add G to your mana pool."
Some of the elves took them as pets, despite the warnings of the shrubmasters.
Beeble Trap - 1GG
Enchantment
Sacrifice a Beeble: Beeble Trap deals 1 damage to all attacking creatures.
By the time they were noticed, the Beebles had themselves an almost indefensible
location deep inside the forest.
Beebletree - 2G
Enchantment
Sacrifice a nontoken Beeble: Put two 1/1 Green Beeble tokens into play
For the first time in history, elves seriously considered burning the forest to
the ground.
Beebling Brook - 2G
Enchantment
1, Tap an untapped Beeble you control: Gain 3 life. Use this ability only if
you could play a Sorcery.
The more docile of the Beebles just came to drink and swim. The elves knew well
enough to leave them alone.
Beebling Charm - G
Instant
Choose one. Move target creature enchantment to a Beeble you control, or target
blocking Beeble gets +1/+1, or destroy target artifact and sacrifice a Beeble.
Beefy Beebles - 3G
Creature - Beebles
4/4
If Beefy Beebles is blocked by more than two creatures, destroy it.
"They puff up to look more scary, but it just makes 'em smell like popcorn." -
Gorad the Thunderer.
Bristling Beebles - 1G
Creature - Beebles
1/1
Bristling Beebles gains +2/+2 until end of turn for each creature blocking it.
Nature's way of saying "Don't touch!"
Bulbous Beebles - 2G
Creature - Beebles
2/2
1G: Bulbous Beebles get +2/+2 until end of turn. Use this ability only once per
turn.
The Beebles managed to do such an uncanny impression of a Rootwalla, the elves
didn't even glance twice.
Bumping Beebles - 3GG
Creature - Beebles
5/5
Bumping Beebles cannot attack unless you tap two untapped creatures you control.
Delightfully uncoordinated, gleefully resilient, and happy to stomp your head
into the ground.
Busking Beebles - G
Creature - Beebles
1/1
G: Sacrifice Busking Beebles. Destroy target Enchantment or Artifact. That
permanent's controller may pay G or 3 life to counter this effect.
The Beebles' song lasted well into the night, lulling to sleep only those who
chose to hear it.
Commendabeeble - 2G
Instant
Target blocking Beeble gets +3/+3 until end of turn and can block up to three
creatures this turn.
"You have to admire their bravery, but I don't want this death written on my
tombstone." - Ham, Trainee Shrubmaster.
Friend to all Beebles - 2G
Sorcery
Draw a card for each Beeble you control. Lose 1 life for each Beeble in your
graveyard.
"They either want an alliance, or some berries. We can give them both." Roegar,
Shrubmaster.
Inflatabeeble - 2G
Creature - Beeble
GG: Inflatabeeble gains +1/+1 until end of turn. Sacrifice Inflatabeeble at the
end of turn.
Sacrifice a Forest: Inflatabeeble gains +1/+1 until end of turn. Sacrifice
Inflatabeeble at the end of turn.
"That's no moon. That's a Beeble." - Roegar, Shrubmaster.
One Angry Beeble - 1G
Creature - Beeble
1/1
Sacrifice One Angry Beeble: Put a -0/-1 counter on target Blue or Black
creature. At the beginning of that creature's controller's upkeep, put a -0/-1
counter on that creature.
"Cover your ears or they'll get in. It's true! It happened to a friend of my
cousin..." - Hole-in-head, Zombie drone.
Psychobeeble - 1GG
Creature - Beeble
1/1
T, Sacrifice Psychobeeble. Untap all Permanents you control. Use this ability
only during an opponent's turn.
"I think they were ready for us, sir." - Lone survivor of the Benalish Infantry
Massacre.
Rashida Beeblebane - 3GG
Creature - Warrior Legend
3/4
Unblockable Beebles may be blocked as though they were not unblockable.
If assigned to block a Beeble, Rashida Beeblebane gets +1/-3 and First Strike.
"Beebles killed my father, or at least that what mother told me."
Taunting Beeble - G
Creature - Beeble
1/1
T: Target creature your opponent controls attacks this turn if able.
"Pay no attention! I think they're getting bored and want to fight." - Roegar,
Shrubmaster.
Tunneling Beebles - G
Enchantment
All Beebles are unblockable as long as defending player controls a wall.
If only they had looked down...
Worker Beebles - G
Creature - Beebles
1/1
Worker Beebles are unblockable as long as you control an untapped Beeble with
power greater than that of Worker Beebles.
To climb the ladder of success, you have to step on a few Beebles.
ARTIFACTS
Barrel o' Beebles - 5
Artifact
When a non-Beeble creature comes into play, sacrifice Barrel o' Beebles to put
all Beeble creature cards from your hand into play.
The biggest mistake Gorad ever made was ignoring the contents of that barrel.
Beebleball - 3
Artifact
2,T: Remove target Beeble you control from the game.
T, Sacrifice Beebleball: Return all Beebles to play that were removed with
Beebleball.
"I don't see how they can fit in there." said Lyon. He grimaced as Theal showed
him.
Beebleboost - 4
Artifact
Sacrifice Beebleboost: All Beebles gain +1/+1, Flying, Haste, First Strike and
Trample until end of turn.
"I don't know what they see in it, but it sure does get them excited..." -
Theal, Student of the Academy.
Beeblepult - 2
Artifact
1,T: Target Beeble gains Flying and Haste until end of turn. At end of turn,
sacrifice that Beeble.
"I knew this had to have a use." - Theal, Student of the Academy.
Beebles White Album - 4
Legendary Artifact
If you control no Beebles, sacrifice Beebles White Album
T, Tap three Beebles you control: Draw a card.
Suddenly the Headmaster remembered a book. A book that would help him harness
the power of the Beebles. If only they hadn't eaten the key to the library...
Beeblicore - 4
Artifact Creature - Golem
2/2
Beeblicore is unblockable as long as defending player controls a creature with a
toughness of 2 or less.
4: Target creature gains -2/-0 until end of turn
Gorad stopped in his tracks. This was too shiny to be a Beeble. Maybe it could
be used as a weapon...
Beebling Automaton - 4
Artifact Creature - Golem
4/4
During your upkeep, return a Beeble to its owner's hand or sacrifice Beebling
Automaton
With a little work, Lyon programmed his automaton to sweep up all the Beebles.
One at a time. Like that's gonna help.
Technobeeble - 3
Artifact Creature - Beeble
2/2
Technobeeble is unblockable as long as defending player controls a non-basic
land
"You think someone made this?" - Theal, Student of the Academy.
LAND
Beebled Landscape
Land
At end of turn, if you control no Beebles, sacrifice Beebled Landscape
T: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool. You cannot choose a color not
shared by a Beeble in play.
Better the Beeble you know.
Beeblehaven
Legendary Land
If you play a card that doesn't mention Beebles, sacrifice Beeblehaven.
T: Add one colorless mana to your mana pool
T: Add 3 mana of any color to your mana pool. This mana may only be used to
play Beebles.
"But why did they leave?" - Bela, Elvish Gnomist.
1
Now that we've no debate forum here, where have you all gone to
yell at people on the internetengage in intellectual discussion?3
The thing I want to instill in people is the importance of thinking. Thinking is important. We must think critically.
It is also important we find environments in which other people think critically, people who are willing to challenge our opinions and our rationale behind them, in order that we may learn, and in order that we may examine ourselves and the ideas we hold. It is through the crucible of critical thought that we must submit the ideas we hold, in order to see if they hold firm.
And it is important to remember that this is not just some abstract, esoteric philosophical practice. The benefits of intellectual discourse and philosophy are not detached from reality, not some vague, metaphysical matter that holds nothing concrete. No, the benefits are very real, very tangible, because what we believe has a profound influence upon the world. How we think governs how we act. The ideas we have govern how we behave. This is why it is very important to make sure our ideas hold up to scrutiny, that they are rooted in fact and reason and logic, that they make sense and stand up to examination, because they will inform the decisions we make, and the decisions we make had consequences.
We cannot avoid talking about the political situation in the world right now, because when people look back on this, they will do so from the perspective of someone who has already witnessed what has come to pass because of our actions, from the vantage point of someone who is living with the consequences – be they good or ill – of the decisions we made.
During the election discussion for the 2016 election, I said that elections matter, that this is the time in which you participate in a decision upon which the fate of the world depends, upon which lives hang in the balance, upon which wars may be won or lost, lives may be saved or extinguished. We will spend a long time talking about the decisions we make politically during this era, not just the United States but globally. But I want to impress one point, which is that the importance for informed decisions has never been greater, because we are in an increasingly connected world, and we can no longer pretend that the affairs of one group of people will not have an effect on us.
It is a tragedy, then, that so many people choose echo chambers. So many would rather stick to places where their own opinions are repeated back to us, instead of choosing to challenge their own opinions in intellectual discourse. Imagine, in light of this, how much different the world would be if everyone had the debate environment we had. I can say right now, we damn sure had better moderators than the presidential debates of 2016.
But that being said, this forum is also an exhortation to never be cynical. People tend to say with regards to online debates: why bother? You'll never change anyone's opinion anyway. Why even bother?
But it's not true, is it?
I looked back to try to find my first post on this forum. It was January 5, 2005. That was twelve years ago. How much have I changed? How much have my opinions and worldview changed since that day?
How many times have each of us been in a debate on this forum with someone who held a contrary view, and that person said something that changed our worldview. Maybe it was only slightly, maybe it was begrudgingly, maybe we didn’t realize it at first and it hit us by surprise only later, in a conversation with someone else. But we were changed. However slightly, our eyes were opened to a truth we hadn’t considered before. Maybe one we would have never considered otherwise. We became wiser.
You never know whose mind you’ll change. You never know how your words will make an impact. How many of us have been changed as a result of reading a conversation between two people, neither of whom were us? How many of us realized it at the time? You never know how much of an impact your words will have, nor will you always realize the impact of the words of others. This is especially true for us. We're faceless people on the internet. I've never met anyone here, or maybe I have, I don't know. But I have been changed by the people here.
You will not always change everyone's worldview. You will not always change someone else's opinion. This is true. You cannot change the mind of the other person.
But your mind might change. And that can mean all the difference in the world.
Your thoughts matter. Your words matter. You matter. Let yourself be challenged, because that is how you grow, that is how you become better and more sure of yourself, and you owe it to yourself to be the best person that you can be.