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The World of Kamigawa
  • posted a message on MTGNews April Fool's Day Unglued II - Beebles Expansion
    So back in 2001, back before the site split that created MTGSalvation, MTGNews had an April Fool's Day joke in which they posted the spoiler for Unglued II. Of course, this was not Unhinged, but a joke expansion composed entirely of Beeble-related cards.

    Now that MTGNews collapsed and all record of this has been expunged, I wanted to take the liberty of posting this expansion, that it may be enjoyed.

    Unfortunately, I don't know who created this joke. I would love to give them credit, as I think it's amazing. If anyone does know, please share.

    Here it goes:


    WHITE

    Beeble Balance - 2WW
    Sorcery
    Each player chooses a number of permanents equal to the number of Beebles they
    control and sacrifices the rest.
    In the event of a war, it's thought that only Beebles would remain. Maybe
    that's way they started one.

    Beeblegeddon - 1W
    Sorcery
    Destroy all lands. At end of turn, each opponent may put an artifact,
    enchantment, creature or land into play.
    "It's not the best plan, but it's the best we've got." - Falz, Wizard Commander,
    Benalish Infantry.

    Beeble Mascot - 1W
    Creature - Equine Beeble
    1/1
    First Strike
    Not recommended for children under 3.

    Beeble of Runes - 2W
    Creature - Beeble Cleric
    1/1
    When Beeble of Runes comes into play, choose a color. Beeble of Runes gains
    protection from that color permanently.

    Beebles who need Beebles - 2WWW
    Enchantment
    When a beeble goes to the graveyard when another beeble is in play, return that
    beeble to play at the end of turn.
    "They're the luckiest Beebles..." - last words of a Benalish Infantryman before
    being killed by friendly fire.

    Beeblicorn - 2W
    Creature - Equine Beeble
    2/2
    First Strike
    "Mmmm. Pointy."

    Bible Beebles - 3W
    Creature - Beebles
    1/1
    T: Gain control of target creature. Sacrifice that creature and Bible Beebles
    at end of turn.
    "I think I've found my first target." - Gorad the Thunderer.

    Bipedal Beeble - 3W
    Creature - Human Beeble
    3/3
    Trample
    "For the last time, I am not a freaking beeble!"

    Blinding Beebles - 2W
    Creature - Beebles
    2/2
    When Blinding Beebles attack, you may tap target creature.
    They're a source of humiliation, frustration and illumination.

    Blinking Beebles - 3WW
    Creature - Beebles
    2/2
    1: Return Blinking Beebles to its owner's hand
    "The only way to make Beebles more annoying is to improve on nature." - Lyon,
    Student of the Academy.

    Discussabeeble - 2W
    Creature - Beeble
    2/2
    T: Target attacking creature is considered blocked.
    "If I'd known they had a language, I wouldn't have eaten so many." - Gorad the
    Thunderer.

    Excusabeeble - 1W
    Creature - Beeble
    1/1
    Remove Excusabeeble from the game: Tap all beebles.
    "This one seems to have the most influence." - Falz, Wizard Commander, Benalish
    Infantry.

    Helpful Beebles - 3W
    Creature - Beebles
    2/2
    Gain 1 life for each damage dealt by Helpful Beebles
    "I thought I saw this one smile!" - Theal, Student of the Academy.

    Indestructabeeble - 2WW
    Creature - Beeble
    1/1
    Prevent all damage dealt to Indestructabeeble.
    1: Regenerate
    1: Indestructabeeble may not be the target of spells or effects
    "Guns don't kill Beebles..."

    Ordinary Beebles - WW
    Creature - Beebles
    1/1
    T: Prevent all damage dealt to Ordinary Beebles from any one source. Treat any
    further damage from that source normally.
    "They have adapted to our weapons. We will be assimilated!" - Benalish
    Infantryman.

    Reprisabeeble - 1W
    Instant
    Sacrifice a beeble: Remove target attacking creature from the game. Gain life
    equal to that creature's toughness. That creature's controller gains life equal
    to the toughness of the sacrificed beeble.
    "The most heroic ball of fluff I've ever seen." - Lyon, Student of the Academy.

    Removabeeble - 2W
    Enchantment
    When Removabeeble comes into play, remove target creature from the game. When
    Removabeeble leaves play, return all creatures removed in this way.
    "It's only a temporary measure." - Lyon, Student of the Academy.

    Vanilla Beebles - 1W
    Creature - Beebles
    2/2
    "Why are they called 'vanilla' when there's nothing but flavor text written
    here?" - Bill Rose, WotC Research & Development.

    Vil Maino, Beeblutionary - 2WW
    Creature - Beeble Legend
    As long as Vil Maino, Beeblutionary is untapped and not attacking, all attacking
    Beebles you control get +1/+1 until end of turn
    "I want to be remembered as a Beeble." - Matthew Villamaino.

    Weeping Beebles - 1W
    Creature - Beebles
    1/1
    Creatures blocking Weeping Beebles get -1/-0 until end of turn.
    "Wait! Don't cry! I didn't mean it...I'll put my sword away..." - Gorad the
    Thunderer, in a weaker moment.

    Wuvabeeble - WW
    Creature - Beeble
    1/1
    If Wuvabeeble is the target of a spell or effect controlled by an opponent, gain
    3 life.
    Gorad raised his bloodied hammer one last time before his resolve left him.


    BLUE

    ASPCB - 2U
    Enchantment
    If a beeble is dealt damage, the controller of the source of that damage removes
    the top card of his library from the game for each point of damage dealt.
    "They don't deserve this! They're just trying to find a place to live!" - Falz,
    Wizard Commander, Benalish Infantry.

    Beeble Gum - 2U
    Enchantment
    Beebles don't untap during their controllers' untap step
    "It was meant to be a dental adhesive, but it was toxic to humans. Now I'm glad
    I made 400 barrels of the stuff." - Lyon - Student of the Academy.

    Beeblemorph - 3U
    Enchantment
    Sacrifice a Beeble: Reveal cards from your library until you reveal a Beeble
    card. Put that card into play and remove the rest from the game.
    "Swat one, and another one takes its place." - Gorad the Thunderer.

    Beebles Beyond the Stars - 2U
    Enchantment
    All Beebles gain flying
    If only they had looked up...

    Beeblor - 3UU
    Creature - Beeble Legend
    2/2
    All non-legend creatures in your hand, library and graveyard become Beebles.
    2: Target beeble gets +1/+1 until end of turn
    "Be a Beeble."

    Binding Beebles - 3UU
    Creature - Beebles
    0/1
    Binding Beebles cannot leave play
    The Headmaster watched the Beeble shrug off his most powerful spells. His
    students deserved both an 'A', and a good ass-kicking.

    Blowing Beebles - U
    Creature - Beebles
    1/1
    Flying
    Sacrifice Blowing Beebles: Target creature gains flying until end of tun.
    Hours of fun for children 4-12.

    Buyback Beebles - 3U
    Enchantment
    Return Buyback Beebles to its owner's hand: Put a 1/1 blue Beeble token into
    play under your control.
    "We have to find out where they're coming from!" - Roegar, Shrubmaster.

    Doubtabeeble - 1UU
    Creature - Beeble
    1/1
    Sacrifice Doubtabeeble: Counter target spell or effect that targets a permanent
    you control.
    They destroy what they don't understand, and they don't understand much.

    Evacubeeble - 2UU
    Sorcery
    Return all Beebles to their owners' hands.
    "I think these belong to you." - Academy Headmaster.

    Force of Beebles - 3U
    Instant
    You may reveal three Beeble cards from your hand instead of paying Force of
    Beebles' mana cost
    Counter target spell
    "The hand that contains the Beebles is the hand that controls the world." -
    Theal, Student of the Academy.

    Incredabeeble - 3UU
    Creature - Beeble
    2/2
    U: Incredabeeble is unblockable until end of turn
    U: Incredabeeble may not be the target of spells or effects until end of turn.
    U: Return Incredabeeble to its owners' hand.
    "Leave it for me!" snarled Gorad, as he readied his Beeble hammer.

    Invisibeeble - UU
    Creature - Beeble
    1/1
    Invisibeeble may only be blocked by walls.
    "I think I heard something." - Bela, Elvish Gnomist.

    Irritabeeble - 2UU
    Enchantment
    All spells cost an additional X to play, where X is the number of Beebles in
    play.
    "How can you concentrate on your studies? That's why you're not allowed pets at
    the Academy." - Academy Headmaster.

    Phantom Beebles - 1U
    Creature - Undead Beebles
    2/2
    Phantom Beebles are unblockable.
    "I thought I saw something." - Bela, Elvish Gnomist.

    Prebeeble - 1U
    Creature - Baby Beeble
    0/1
    When Prebeeble comes into play, put 3 evolution counters on it. During your
    upkeep, remove an evolution counter. When there are no more evolution counters
    on Prebeeble, it gains flying, +3/+2, and is unblockable as long as your
    opponent controls an artifact.
    "See? On the end of my thumb. That's what they look like in the early stages."
    - Falz, Wizard Commander, Benalish Infantry.

    Prismatic Beeble - 2U
    Creature - Beeble
    2/2
    0: Prismatic Beeble becomes the color of your choice permanently.
    Sacrifice Prismatic Beeble: Target permanent becomes the color of your choice
    permanently.
    All the colors of the rainbow.

    Prodigal Beebler - 2UU
    Creature - Beeble Wizard
    1/1
    Haste
    T: Prodigal Beebler deals 1 damage to target creature of player. Return
    Prodigal Beebler to its owner's hand.
    Hit and run tactics used by the humans were quickly assimilated by the Beebles.

    Purple Beeble Eater - 2UU
    Creature - Beeble Eater
    1/1
    T: Destroy target Beeble. Put a +1/+1 counter on Purple Beeble Eater. Target
    opponent gains control of Purple Beeble Eater.
    "It's not just Beebles that came through the portal." - Lyon, Student of the
    Academy.

    Rosewater Hunter - 2U
    Creature - Horror
    1/1
    When Rosewater Hunter damages a player, you may pay 2. If you do, look through
    that players library and remove a Beeble card from the game.
    T: Destroy all cards from the Urza's Destiny expansion.
    "We have to go back in time and destroy their creator." - Academy Headmaster.

    Questionable Beeblage - U
    Enchant Creature
    Play only on a Beeble
    Enchanted creature is no longer considered a Beeble
    "A beeble half-breed? It makes me sick just to think about it!" - Roegar,
    Shrubmaster.

    Tradabeeble - 1U
    Creature - Beeble
    4/4
    When Tradabeeble comes into play, exchange control of it with target permanent
    your opponent controls. If Tradabeeble leaves play, remove it from the game.
    "It's big, it's bad, and it's a little too friendly." - Lyon, Student of the
    Academy.

    Unbelievabeeble - 1U
    Instant
    Counter target spell unless its controller pays X, where X is the number of
    Beebles you control.
    "How can I concentrate with all that Beebling?" - Academy Headmaster.


    BLACK

    Beeblic Horror - 3BBB
    Creature - Beeble Horror
    4/4
    Flying, First Strike. During your upkeep, pay BBB and sacrifice a swamp, or tap
    Beeblic Horror and sacrifice all lands.
    "I've discovered a particularly disturbing mutation. This requires more study."
    - Dreel, Zombie Master.

    Beeblicious - 1B
    Instant
    Remove all Beebles in all graveyards from the game.
    They keep the zombies quiet.

    Beebular Degradation - 2BB
    Enchantment
    During each players upkeep, that player puts X -1/-1 counters on creatures they
    control, where X is equal to the number of Beebles in play.
    "I grow tired of these Beebles. Fetch me some puppies." - Dreel, Zombie Master.

    Bellowing Beebles - 3BB
    Creature - Beebles
    2/2
    When Bellowing Beebles comes into play, all other creatures get -2/-1
    "Nothing living can make a noise like that." - Falz, Wizard Commander, Benalish
    Infantry.

    Breakfast of Beebles - 3BB
    Instant
    If you control a swamp, you may sacrifice a Beeble instead of paying Breakfast
    of Beeble's mana cost.
    All creatures you control get +2/+1 until end of turn
    "You need to cut off their legs, or they'll walk right off the grill." - Gorad
    the Thunderer.

    Carrion Beebles - B
    Creature - Beebles
    1/1
    T: Sacrifice Carrion Beebles: Remove a card in any graveyard from the game.
    They feed off the death, misery and inconvenience of others.

    Decombeeble - B
    Enchant Creature
    Whenever enchanted Creature taps, put a -0/-1 counter on it.
    Elder Beebles would grow weak and die within a few days, but not before siring a
    hundred more.

    Disembeeble - BB
    Sorcery
    Destroy target Beeble. Gain 3 Life
    "Turn them inside out and they make great pouches." - Dreel, Zombie Master.

    Death Beebles - B
    Creature - Beebles
    1/1
    Protection from White
    "I like these ones. Something about them..." - Dreel, Zombie Master.

    False Beeble - 2BB
    Creature - Beeble
    2/2
    When False Beeble goes to the graveyard, remove it from the game. If you do,
    return all creatures from all graveyards into play.
    "Don't touch that! It's not a Beeble!" - Lyon, Student of the Academy.

    Feast of the Beeblicorn - 2B
    Enchant Creature
    Enchanted Creature gains +1/+0 and First Strike
    It makes you horny.

    Frothing Beebles - 2B
    Creature - Beebles
    1/1
    If Frothing Beebles is blocked, it deals 1 damage to all creature blocking it.
    Fortunately for him, Gorad wore his stompin' boots that day.

    Hungry, Hungry Beebles - 2BB
    Creature - Beebles
    3/3
    During your upkeep, sacrifice another creature and put a +1/+1 counter on
    Hungry, Hungry Beebles, or tap Hungry, Hungry Beebles and lose 3 life.
    "If Beebles have an evolved intelligence, these ones must be the missing link."
    - Falz, Wizard Commander, Benalish Infantry.

    Plague Beebles - B
    Creature - Beebles
    1/1
    Plague Beebles is unblockable as long as any player controls a white permanent.
    "I think they're attracted to our armor." - Benalish Infantryman.

    Reconstructabeeble - 1B
    Creature - Undead Beeble
    1/1
    1B: Regenerate Reconstructabeeble.
    During your upkeep, if Reconstructabeeble is in your graveyard you may pay 1
    life and return it to your hand.
    "I could've sworn I killed that one." - Gorad the Thunderer.

    Skulking Beebles - 1B
    Creature - Undead Beebles
    2/1
    Flying
    If Skulking Beebles is the target of a spell or effect by an opponent, that
    opponent gains control of Skulking Beebles.
    They're not just frightening children any more...

    Stinking Beebles - B
    Creature - Beebles
    1/1
    If Stinking Beebles becomes blocked, destroy all creatures blocking it.
    The army that had stood against dragons scattered like frightened children.

    Terrobeeble - 1B
    Instant
    Sacrifice a Beeble: Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated.
    Once cornered, the Beebles could be expected to do almost anything.

    Vampiric Beebles - BBB
    Creature - Beebles
    1/1
    Pay half your life rounded up: Search your library for a card and put it in your
    hand. Shuffle your library. Draw a card.
    "I taught them to fetch, but..." - Theal, Student of the Academy.

    Zombeebles - 2B
    Creature - Undead Beebles
    2/2
    Swampwalk
    If you go down to the swamp today, you're in for a big surprise...

    RED

    Beeblebind - 2RR
    Enchantment
    3, Discard a card: If the discarded card was a Beeble card, Beeblebind deals 4
    damage to target creature or player.
    "Perhaps we can use this Beeble horde to our advantage." - Soag, Goblin
    Scientist.

    Beeble Bomb - 1RR
    Enchantment
    During your upkeep, sacrifice all permanents. Put two 1/1 red Beeble tokens
    into play for each permanent sacrificed in this way.
    The Headmaster failed to see the humor.

    Beeble Hammer - R
    Instant
    Beeble Hammer deals 1 damage to target creature or player. If a beeble is
    damaged this way, return Beeble Hammer to its owners hand instead of putting it
    in the graveyard.
    A master of the sword, pike, morningstar and countless other weapons, Gorad put
    all of his faith into a simple carpenters hammer. Soon it would be stained with
    the blood of a thousand Beebles.

    Beebleslinger - 2R
    Creature - Beeble
    1/1
    T, Sacrifice a Beeble: Beebleslinger deals X damage to target creature of
    player, where X is the power of the Beeble sacrificed.
    He'll have someone's eye out.

    Beeble Spark - 1R
    Instant
    Beeble Spark deals 1 damage to target creature or player and 1 damage to all
    Beebles.
    "This might shake them up a bit." - Lyon, Student of the Academy.

    Beebling Mass - RR
    Creature - Beebles
    0/0
    As Beebling Mass would come into play, sacrifice all beebles. Beebling mass
    comes into play with +1/+0 counters equal to the sacrificed Beebles' total
    power, and +0/+1 counters equal to the sacrificed Beebles total toughness.
    The eerie silence didn't last long.

    Beeble Sea - 1RR
    Enchantment
    Creatures must attack if able.
    All Beebles gain Islandwalk
    "Typical Beeble Sea. Four channels and nothing's on." - Ham, Trainee
    Shrubmaster.

    Biting Beebles - 2R
    Creature - Beebles
    3/3
    When Biting Beebles taps, it deals 2 damage to a creature you control
    Don't try and take their food away either...

    Blathering Beebles - R
    Creature - Beebles
    3/3
    Blathering Beebles cannot block
    If Blathering Beebles attacks, toss a coin. If you lose the toss, Blathering
    Beebles deals no combat damage this turn.
    "I think they're trying to communicate." - Falz, Wizard Commander, Benalish
    Infantry.

    Burning Beebles - 2R
    Creature - Beebles
    2/2
    Sacrifice Burning Beebles: Burning Beebles deals 2 damage to target creature
    "My Shock Troops could learn a thing or two from them." - Gorad the Thunderer.

    Chaotic Beebles - R
    Creature - Beebles
    2/2
    At the end of your turn, if you dealt no damage to an opponent this turn, target
    opponent gains control of Chaotic Beebles.
    "If they worked for money, I'd call them mercenaries. I think they work for
    fun." - Falz, Wizard Commander, Benalish Infantry.

    Flow of Beebles - 2R
    Instant
    Sacrifice X Beebles: All Beebles you control get +X/+0.
    "They're pelting us with their dead!" - Benalish Infantryman.

    Forking Beebles - 2RR
    Creature - Beebles
    1/1
    T, RR, Sacrifice Forking Beebles: Forking Beebles' effect becomes a copy of
    target Instant or Sorcery spell, except it remains red and you choose the new
    target if any.
    "Not again!" shouted the Headmaster. "We have to find a way to get rid of these
    Forking Beebles!"

    Once More with Beebling - 3RRR
    Sorcery
    If you control a Beeble, you may play Once More with Beebling without paying the
    mana cost.
    All players shuffle their permanents, hand and graveyard into their owner's
    libraries. Players then reveal the top 15 cards of their library. Put all
    permanents into play and shuffle the rest back into the library. All players
    draw 7 cards

    Overbeeble - 2RR
    Creature - Beeble Legend
    2/2
    R: Target attacking Beeble gains +1/+0 until end of turn. That Beeble is
    unblockable if defending player controls a blue permanent.
    Gorad respected the Overbeeble, as he merrily bludgeoned it into a bloody mass.

    Progressive Beebles - 1R
    Creature - Beebles
    3/3
    All basic lands you control are considered non-basic lands.
    "They're feeding off the mana, and now they've poisoned the land!" - Academy
    Headmaster.

    Seething Beebles - 1R
    Creature - Beebles
    2/1
    First Strike
    "That's not a snake." - Ham, Trainee Shrubmaster.

    Thunderbeeble - R
    Creature - Beeble
    1/1
    When Thunderbeeble comes into play, tap all creatures. Sacrifice Thunderbeeble
    at the end of turn.
    "How can something the size of my thumb have a set of lungs more powerful than a
    Juzam Djinn?" - Gorad the Thunderer.

    Unblockabeeble - RRR
    Creature - Beeble
    2/2
    If Unblockabeeble becomes blocked, it deals 20 damage to all creatures blocking
    it. Those creatures cannot regenerate this turn.
    "Yes, well, TECHNICALLY you can block it, but..." - Lyon, Student of the
    Academy.

    United Beebles - 2R
    Creature - Beebles
    3/3
    If United Beebles attacks, all creatures you control must attack.
    United Beebles cannot block.
    "If I thought they were organized in any way, my tactics might be different." -
    Falz, Wizard Commander, Benalish Infantry.

    Vandabeebles - 3R
    Creature - Beebles
    3/3
    When Vandabeebles comes into play, destroy target artifact. Vandabeebles deals
    damage to you equal to the destroyed artifact's converted mana cost.
    The Beebles didn't know what it was, and afterwards, nobody else could tell what
    it used to be.


    GREEN

    Baby Beebles - G
    Creature - Baby Beebles
    1/1
    If Baby Beebles goes to the graveyard, each opponent sacrifices a land.
    "They don't make good fertilizer either." - Dreel, Zombie Master.

    Beeblebane - 1G
    Enchant Land
    Plays only on a land you control
    Beebles may not attack you unless their controller pays an additional 3 for each
    attacking Beeble.
    If a beeble deals combat damage to you, the controller of that damage may move
    Beeblebane to a land he or she controls and gains control of Beeblebane.

    Beeble Bones - 1G
    Sorcery
    Gain 1 life for each Beeble in all graveyards.
    The hair on Bela's neck stood up. She had found the legendary Beebles'
    Graveyard, and it smelled like chicken...

    Beebler Elves - 2G
    Creature - Beeble Elves
    1/1
    Each Beeble you control gains "T: add G to your mana pool."
    Some of the elves took them as pets, despite the warnings of the shrubmasters.

    Beeble Trap - 1GG
    Enchantment
    Sacrifice a Beeble: Beeble Trap deals 1 damage to all attacking creatures.
    By the time they were noticed, the Beebles had themselves an almost indefensible
    location deep inside the forest.

    Beebletree - 2G
    Enchantment
    Sacrifice a nontoken Beeble: Put two 1/1 Green Beeble tokens into play
    For the first time in history, elves seriously considered burning the forest to
    the ground.

    Beebling Brook - 2G
    Enchantment
    1, Tap an untapped Beeble you control: Gain 3 life. Use this ability only if
    you could play a Sorcery.
    The more docile of the Beebles just came to drink and swim. The elves knew well
    enough to leave them alone.

    Beebling Charm - G
    Instant
    Choose one. Move target creature enchantment to a Beeble you control, or target
    blocking Beeble gets +1/+1, or destroy target artifact and sacrifice a Beeble.

    Beefy Beebles - 3G
    Creature - Beebles
    4/4
    If Beefy Beebles is blocked by more than two creatures, destroy it.
    "They puff up to look more scary, but it just makes 'em smell like popcorn." -
    Gorad the Thunderer.

    Bristling Beebles - 1G
    Creature - Beebles
    1/1
    Bristling Beebles gains +2/+2 until end of turn for each creature blocking it.
    Nature's way of saying "Don't touch!"

    Bulbous Beebles - 2G
    Creature - Beebles
    2/2
    1G: Bulbous Beebles get +2/+2 until end of turn. Use this ability only once per
    turn.
    The Beebles managed to do such an uncanny impression of a Rootwalla, the elves
    didn't even glance twice.

    Bumping Beebles - 3GG
    Creature - Beebles
    5/5
    Bumping Beebles cannot attack unless you tap two untapped creatures you control.
    Delightfully uncoordinated, gleefully resilient, and happy to stomp your head
    into the ground.

    Busking Beebles - G
    Creature - Beebles
    1/1
    G: Sacrifice Busking Beebles. Destroy target Enchantment or Artifact. That
    permanent's controller may pay G or 3 life to counter this effect.
    The Beebles' song lasted well into the night, lulling to sleep only those who
    chose to hear it.

    Commendabeeble - 2G
    Instant
    Target blocking Beeble gets +3/+3 until end of turn and can block up to three
    creatures this turn.
    "You have to admire their bravery, but I don't want this death written on my
    tombstone." - Ham, Trainee Shrubmaster.

    Friend to all Beebles - 2G
    Sorcery
    Draw a card for each Beeble you control. Lose 1 life for each Beeble in your
    graveyard.
    "They either want an alliance, or some berries. We can give them both." Roegar,
    Shrubmaster.

    Inflatabeeble - 2G
    Creature - Beeble
    GG: Inflatabeeble gains +1/+1 until end of turn. Sacrifice Inflatabeeble at the
    end of turn.
    Sacrifice a Forest: Inflatabeeble gains +1/+1 until end of turn. Sacrifice
    Inflatabeeble at the end of turn.
    "That's no moon. That's a Beeble." - Roegar, Shrubmaster.

    One Angry Beeble - 1G
    Creature - Beeble
    1/1
    Sacrifice One Angry Beeble: Put a -0/-1 counter on target Blue or Black
    creature. At the beginning of that creature's controller's upkeep, put a -0/-1
    counter on that creature.
    "Cover your ears or they'll get in. It's true! It happened to a friend of my
    cousin..." - Hole-in-head, Zombie drone.

    Psychobeeble - 1GG
    Creature - Beeble
    1/1
    T, Sacrifice Psychobeeble. Untap all Permanents you control. Use this ability
    only during an opponent's turn.
    "I think they were ready for us, sir." - Lone survivor of the Benalish Infantry
    Massacre.

    Rashida Beeblebane - 3GG
    Creature - Warrior Legend
    3/4
    Unblockable Beebles may be blocked as though they were not unblockable.
    If assigned to block a Beeble, Rashida Beeblebane gets +1/-3 and First Strike.
    "Beebles killed my father, or at least that what mother told me."

    Taunting Beeble - G
    Creature - Beeble
    1/1
    T: Target creature your opponent controls attacks this turn if able.
    "Pay no attention! I think they're getting bored and want to fight." - Roegar,
    Shrubmaster.

    Tunneling Beebles - G
    Enchantment
    All Beebles are unblockable as long as defending player controls a wall.
    If only they had looked down...

    Worker Beebles - G
    Creature - Beebles
    1/1
    Worker Beebles are unblockable as long as you control an untapped Beeble with
    power greater than that of Worker Beebles.
    To climb the ladder of success, you have to step on a few Beebles.


    ARTIFACTS

    Barrel o' Beebles - 5
    Artifact
    When a non-Beeble creature comes into play, sacrifice Barrel o' Beebles to put
    all Beeble creature cards from your hand into play.
    The biggest mistake Gorad ever made was ignoring the contents of that barrel.

    Beebleball - 3
    Artifact
    2,T: Remove target Beeble you control from the game.
    T, Sacrifice Beebleball: Return all Beebles to play that were removed with
    Beebleball.
    "I don't see how they can fit in there." said Lyon. He grimaced as Theal showed
    him.

    Beebleboost - 4
    Artifact
    Sacrifice Beebleboost: All Beebles gain +1/+1, Flying, Haste, First Strike and
    Trample until end of turn.
    "I don't know what they see in it, but it sure does get them excited..." -
    Theal, Student of the Academy.

    Beeblepult - 2
    Artifact
    1,T: Target Beeble gains Flying and Haste until end of turn. At end of turn,
    sacrifice that Beeble.
    "I knew this had to have a use." - Theal, Student of the Academy.

    Beebles White Album - 4
    Legendary Artifact
    If you control no Beebles, sacrifice Beebles White Album
    T, Tap three Beebles you control: Draw a card.
    Suddenly the Headmaster remembered a book. A book that would help him harness
    the power of the Beebles. If only they hadn't eaten the key to the library...

    Beeblicore - 4
    Artifact Creature - Golem
    2/2
    Beeblicore is unblockable as long as defending player controls a creature with a
    toughness of 2 or less.
    4: Target creature gains -2/-0 until end of turn
    Gorad stopped in his tracks. This was too shiny to be a Beeble. Maybe it could
    be used as a weapon...

    Beebling Automaton - 4
    Artifact Creature - Golem
    4/4
    During your upkeep, return a Beeble to its owner's hand or sacrifice Beebling
    Automaton
    With a little work, Lyon programmed his automaton to sweep up all the Beebles.
    One at a time. Like that's gonna help.

    Technobeeble - 3
    Artifact Creature - Beeble
    2/2
    Technobeeble is unblockable as long as defending player controls a non-basic
    land
    "You think someone made this?" - Theal, Student of the Academy.


    LAND

    Beebled Landscape
    Land
    At end of turn, if you control no Beebles, sacrifice Beebled Landscape
    T: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool. You cannot choose a color not
    shared by a Beeble in play.
    Better the Beeble you know.

    Beeblehaven
    Legendary Land
    If you play a card that doesn't mention Beebles, sacrifice Beeblehaven.
    T: Add one colorless mana to your mana pool
    T: Add 3 mana of any color to your mana pool. This mana may only be used to
    play Beebles.
    "But why did they leave?" - Bela, Elvish Gnomist.

    Posted in: Magic General
  • posted a message on Mayweather vs. McGregor
    Quote from DisDamGame »
    I think McGregor has a chance if he can come out swinging and actually land some hits on Mayweather. Mayweather is known as a counter puncher and dodge artist so it is going to be difficult for McGregor to even land punches let alone punches that will have an actual effect on Mayweather.
    My one concern is that Mayweather said he wanted to give fans more of a show, so he might adjust his strategy to be more aggressive than defensive, and thereby changing his winning routine. And why would you change a winning routine?

    That said, he's the greatest boxer of his generation, one of the greatest of any generation, and he's up against McGregor. I don't think McGregor's going to last a round, in all honesty. I'll be truly astounded if he lasts three.

    Personally I think the whole thing is just a money grab by both fighters. I am still rooting for McGregor but all the hype videos and trash talk from both fighters has almost spoiled me on the whole fight.
    For Floyd I think it's a money grab. For McGregor, I think it's a case of him buying too much into his own hype. I really do think he believes he's going to win.
    Posted in: Sports
  • posted a message on Mayweather vs. McGregor
    I'm surprised no one's made a thread on this.

    Anyone else excited for this? I believe McGregor is going to be beat badly. Who are you all rooting for?
    Posted in: Sports
  • posted a message on [RELATIONSHIP]
    Quote from StClaus »
    The reason behind we split in the past was either my reaction to my family fighting me against this relationship, or this girl fearing that I will have that same reaction again, which I actually think is quite reasonable. I feel this may have spoiled our relationship but I know that, should we go on, I'd make sure she never thinks this could happen again; furthermore, I'd make sure this never happens again.
    Well, except, the relationship has to be working and healthy and uplifting for both people involved in it. If it isn't, then you should break up. The goal isn't to stay in the relationship and make sure it keeps going. The goal is to find a working relationship, and make sure it keeps going.

    If you can build that with this girl, that's fine. However, I would really think long and hard about whether or not you can. Remember that you've broken up with her many times before, and remember that you seem to have very different ideas about what you want your future to hold. Those aren't trivial concerns.

    Once again, these were your trepidations:

    I try to make sense if I can keep with her a serious relationship or not. Right now, I’m considering I can’t, because she’ll need to get married to stay in Spain, and I’m not ready for that. Also, I don’t think that she, with her past, can be a good influence to any child I’d like to have in the future. I also fear she decides to go back to Bolivia.
    All of these are major issues that will cause friction in the future.

    Now, let's look at the other side:

    On the other side, the fact that she’s a mother already makes me feel that her priorities have totally changed. Also, sex with her is even better than the best thing I ever imagined. I always thought I’d end up finding a boring girl in this sense, but she’s exactly the opposite. She’s also very romantic, and I feel really good next to her, going in a date, watching TV at home, cooking, travelling, helping her with her daily problems (and even with cell phone issue)… I fear I can’t find someone like her. I even met the baby girl one weekend, played with her, I like kids and I had lots of fun with her.
    Let's break each item on this list down:

    1. She's a mother, and therefore she might have changed (except I feel this needs to be called into question, as she's been a mother for a while now, and so if motherhood were something that could change her, it would have already. Moreover, relying on the other person to change is not healthy for a relationship. People seldom change, and moreover if you can't accept being in a relationship with the person as they are, then you shouldn't be.)
    2. The sex is great.
    3. There's chemistry and heat between you two.
    4. The baby is fun to play with.

    All of this makes this girl seem like she's really cool to date, but there's nothing about this that makes me think that you've thought at all about the long-term, whereas all of your worries seem to be about where she wants to take her life and how it doesn't match up with your vision of the future, and also that you don't feel ready for marriage. That second one is a big one. This girl is looking for both marriage and someone to be a dad to her kid. If you're not ready for the former, are you really ready for the latter?

    I do care for her and will probably still care for her even if we split.
    Yes, but relationships aren't just about caring for the other person. They're about caring for each other and also being two people who work together, and a long term relationship adds on the necessity that you both are moving in the same direction with your lives.

    I feel like helping her raising her child would be one of the most wonderful things anyone (I) can do.
    The thing is, there's a difference between helping her raise her child, which you can do as a friend, and being that child's dad. If you're going to be the kid's dad, you need to have more in mind than just the kid, because you're also going to need to have her mother in mind as well. I'm sure her daughter's great, but you're talking about becoming her father, which means marrying her mother. If you cannot see yourself living forever with her mother, you should not seek to become this child's father.


    To clarify, I'm not trying to tell you to do one thing or another, I don't know you and only know what you told me, but these are all concerns I feel need to be raised based on your description of the situation.
    Posted in: Real-Life Advice
  • posted a message on [RELATIONSHIP]
    Quote from StClaus »
    We live in different cities but we’ve seen each other several times, and already split several times too.
    So, this is an important sentence.

    Right now we talk but we don’t meet each other, because I can’t afford to hurt her any more, and worse, I don’t want to hurt her daughter.
    This is an important sentence.

    I try to make sense if I can keep with her a serious relationship or not.
    Well, if you could, why hasn't it happened already? It seems like you two keep getting back together and then breaking up, and there's probably a reason behind that.

    Right now, I’m considering I can’t, because she’ll need to get married to stay in Spain, and I’m not ready for that. Also, I don’t think that she, with her past, can be a good influence to any child I’d like to have in the future. I also fear she decides to go back to Bolivia.
    All of those are very good concerns to have.

    On the other side, the fact that she’s a mother already makes me feel that her priorities have totally changed.
    Nope. She's been a mother for a while, from what you've told me, and even if she just became one, "Well, I think this person could change!" is not a solid foundation upon which to build a relationship.

    Also, sex with her is even better than the best thing I ever imagined. I always thought I’d end up finding a boring girl in this sense, but she’s exactly the opposite.
    Yeah. Exactly. Right now you're lonely and bored, and being with this girl would mean you wouldn't be lonely and it would be exciting. Would I be correct in saying that is what you want to go back to, the excitement of being in a new relationship?

    The thing is, that thrill of a new relationship doesn't last for long, and it seems that you two keep breaking up, which indicates there probably isn't anything sustaining your relationship beyond just the rush you get when the relationship is new.


    I can't speak about the situation with your mother, because I don't know either of you or the conversations you've had, so I don't know how who was being disrespectful or to what degree. However, it is really obvious to me that getting back together with this girl would be a mistake. I think you understand this as well.

    It sucks to be lonely. Nobody likes it. But the thing is, if the alternative to being lonely is being with someone who is clearly wrong for you, and with whom a relationship would be destructive, then we must be willing to accept loneliness.

    It might take you a while to find someone else, but hang in there, and in the meantime focus on being the best person you can be, and on the other relationships in your life.
    Posted in: Real-Life Advice
  • posted a message on Debate Forum alums: Where do you debate?
    Quote from Wildfire393 »
    Of note, the Admins have discussed this and we would not be in favor of this.
    Why not?
    Posted in: Talk and Entertainment
  • posted a message on "I Don't Like You" game.
    Blessed Are The Meek white mana white mana white mana white mana white mana
    Sorcery
    Play Blessed Are The Meek only if you control no creatures with power greater than 0 or toughness greater than 1.

    If you control ten or more creatures of power and toughness 0/1, you win the game.
    Posted in: Custom Card Contests and Games
  • posted a message on Debate Forum alums: Where do you debate?
    Which is why I'd like to gauge interest for a clan thread for debate forum alums. Allows us to keep the debating going, does so in a more conducive manner.
    Posted in: Talk and Entertainment
  • posted a message on Debate Forum alums: Where do you debate?
    Quote from TomCat26 »
    What happened to the debate forum? I haven't posted in years.
    It was retired. Took up more moderator resources than the staff felt was justified.
    Posted in: Talk and Entertainment
  • posted a message on Debate Forum alums: Where do you debate?
    Hrm... That doesn't have the same appeal to me as an actual thread.

    So just to gauge interest: how many would be interested in such a clan thread for debate purposes?
    Posted in: Talk and Entertainment
  • posted a message on Debate Forum alums: Where do you debate?
    I don't actually know what a Discord chat is. Can someone fill me in?
    Posted in: Talk and Entertainment
  • posted a message on Debate Forum alums: Where do you debate?
    A thought I had: would anyone be up for forming a clan with debate alums and then continuing discussion within the clan thread?
    Posted in: Talk and Entertainment
  • posted a message on Debate Forum alums: Where do you debate?
    Ok, it's been five days and I'm already going nuts.

    Now that we've no debate forum here, where have you all gone to yell at people on the internet engage in intellectual discussion?
    Posted in: Talk and Entertainment
  • posted a message on The Beer Thread!
    Quilt's here! Grin

    Quote from Quilt »

    Afterwards I switched to aged Orval (also a little too cold).
    Oooh, how aged?

    I need to do more aging of the Trappist beers. Gonna go on a Rochefort 10 run soon.
    Posted in: Talk and Entertainment
  • posted a message on Some final thoughts
    Blinking, for being the gold standard of a moderator and a debater, for giving us one of the best places to debate on the planet, and for being so damn smart and capable of saying in a single sentence what I couldn't say in seven pages, thank you. It was great to learn from you.
    Posted in: Debate
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