Roadside Trader2UU
Creature - Human Trader (R)
Whenever an opponent draws a card, you gain a value counter.
Remove 3 value counters: Target opponent reveals their hand. Play a creature card from their hand without paying its mana cost. "My deals are so good they're practically a steal. No, really...I steal 'em."
2/2
It is a flavorful card. It's just extremely generic flavor that doesn't harken to any specific plane or setting. That's not something wizards does much at all anymore.
The green part of the bow making it was kinda ties it to being more aimed at flying creatures. If you dig through the history of green magic cards that reference creatures with bows, they usually hit fliers and/or have reach. Its not required, but it's far more common.
I did miss the green mana = wood part as something clever, and I could see adding back a half point back based on such, but this card looks like it belongs in a core set (a now extinct concept) with flavor text that instantly fades from memory (yes we get it, a bowyer makes bows. That was the name of the card.) To me personally, it's not that interesting. Take a look at the recent Stone Haven Outfitter from gatewatch. Between it's name and creature types, it establishes a setting and it's flavor text adds to the character and story the card tells as opposed to restating it. It covers a lot more ground with its flavor and takes a standard concept (an armorer) and makes it more distinct. That's what your card is missing here. Distinction.
Thank you for the further explanation. I truly appreciate that. I can see what you're saying, and you clearly are much better at this and have a better understanding of MTG lore and concepts and mechanics than I do. I'm not actually a MTG player (never was at any more than a very, very basic level like ten years ago), but I took a liking for designing MTG cards based entirely on devising mechanical interactions and making "flavor cards". Thank you again for your honest insight.
(1/3) Flavor: Generic. Boring. Uninspired. This seems like the flavor of a card from 15+ years ago. That, and bows are often used to combat flying creatures, but here they just kill everything. Mostly, while the idea works, the flavor here is trite and uninteresting.
As much as I appreciate your honest feedback, I feel this was a bit of a harsh category. I think everything in the card design fits together flavor-wise, and while it might not be the most original concept a 1/3 seems harsh. The name, the creature type, the activated ability (I even gave it a mana cost of G, T to represent the use of time and wood to create the bows), and the name of the bow counters themselves, the ability the bow provides (while it might have been better to make it damage flying creatures, there really are no logical rules in the world that say bows can't or would never be used on ground targets that make this contrary to its flavor), the flavor text, the fact that it's a small creature that's main purpose is to supply the weapons for the real fighters. Honestly I felt like this card was almost pure flavor, and if it's playable that's incidental.
Again, I appreciate the feedback and will probably submit further ideas, because I do feel that this sort of analysis greatly aides me in becoming better at this.
Elven Bowyer1G
Creature - Elf (U) G, T: Put a Bow counter on target creature.
Creatures with a Bow counter gain "T: Deal damage to target creature equal to this creature's power." "Sometimes all a warrior needs is a really good bow."
1/2
I just wanted to come up with a sort of interesting design challenge and see what people would come up with. This idea is simple: You have to have a "Pick one:" clause with two exactly opposite effects and then find a way to make the overall card make some sort of sense. I'll give my example, which won't be the best but it'll illustrate anyway:
Foolish DilemmaBW
Sorcery
Pick one: You gain five life, or you lose five life. If you gain life this way, all creatures target opponent controls get a +1/+1 counter. If you lose life this way, all creatures you control get a +1/+1 counter. "A fool's dilemma can only be avoided by not being a fool. But sometimes, if you're lucky, fools win."
Is "another" in that second line referring to another besides the one destroyed by the first line, or is it referring to another as in besides the enchanted creature? If the latter, I think "Enchanted creature has flying" should come first for clarification purposes. If the former, I think that second like should go on the same line as the first.
I like it, both as a commander and as a card in a 99. As a commander, it's big creature that rewards you for building around him (ie, lots of fetches/tutors etc). In the 99, he seems dangerous since he really powers up some of the stronger experience point commanders for free (Like Mizzix for example). A lot has already been said about this, so I'm keeping my comments concise, but I think the card is interesting.
Kozilek's Mind Eater CCCC
Creature - Eldrazi
Creatures you control have Ingest (When a creature with injest deal combat damage to a player, that player exiles the top card of his or her library)
When a creature with Ingest would deal damage to a player, prevent that damage and instead exile that many cards from the top of that player's library. CC: Put two cards an opponent owns in exile into that player's graveyard. Draw a card.
5/5
I like this card. It's a nice effect. Giving all creatures you control Ingest could end up making the opponent have a really bad time though - especially if there are lots of tokens in play.
Zetakz, the Manaslayer1RRR
Legendary Creature - Goblin
3/4
First Strike
At the beginning of your upkeep, if any opponent controls more than land than you, you may pick a land card each opponent controls. Those lands are destroyed. If no land is destroyed this way, put a +1/+1 counter on Zetakz, the Manaslayer. "If I'm not the strongest, the fastest, and the richest then I cheat."
I decided to make a new version of this card since this one is essentially a card that already exists. Hopefully this isn't another card that exists already.
Castaway1RW
Sorcery
Name a card. All players exile all cards and creatures from the battlefield, their hand, their library, and their graveyard with that name. All opponents take one damage for each card exiled this way, and you gain one life for each card exiled this way. Cards exiled this way may not leave exile. "Be gone, and by God's will shall I never see you again!"
Castaway2W
Enchantment
When Castaway enters the battlefield, all players exile all cards in their graveyard.
Any time a card would enter a player's graveyard, exile it instead.
Cards exiled this way may not leave exile. "All things will cease to exist - to disappear and never be seen again."
As much as I like this idea, it would be sort of a pain to have to have all of the token cards to make this work. And the token cards would have to be very specific with regards to abilities like Vigilance and Flying. But it is a cool idea.
You've given this creature a */* P T, which is what's called a characteristic Power/Toughness, but no characteristic-defining abilitiy. Take a look at Sutured Ghoul for some templating ideas. But I'll try and give it my own interpretation
As ~ enters the battlefield, choose strength or armor.
~'s power is equal to the highest power among creatures your opponents control if strength is chosen.
~'s toughness is equal to the highest power among creatures your opponents control if armor is chosen.
1GG ability (see below)
4/4
Additionally, the activated ability you've given this card doesn't work for a couple of reasons. First and foremost because cards can only enter their owner's hands. If I cast Control Magic on your Behemoth, and then used the ability, it literally can't return to my hand because it isn't mine. Secondly, it doesn't work because the hand is a private zone, and there is no way to guarantee the card that was returned is the same one that was played. You'd have to do something like, "return this to its owner's hand. Reveal it. Then its owner's casts it without paying its mana cost." In the end though, I'm not sure why you are putting it back into hand at all. Why not just, "1GG: Exile this, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control?"
Monologue aside, I like the idea of the first ability. A creature that is always the biggest is probably something green would do and would probably do elegantly enough to see print one day. The last ability however is something that is not just a little, but extremely white or blue. In fact, it is an iconically white or blue effect to "flicker" things. See Ghostly Flicker, Deadeye Navigator, or Momentary Blink. Now green does have flavorful access to several other abilities that accomplish what you are going for. May I recommend something like Masked Admirers or Centaur Vinecrasher? The flavortext seems like an unfortunately lost opportunity for a "eat or be eaten" line.
Terune, Heartbeat of the Ocean12UUUU
Legendary Creature-Leviathan (Mythic)
Trample, indestructible, islandwalk
~ costs 1 less for each experience counter you have.
While searching your library, you may reveal ~. If you do, gain an experience counter.
If ~ would be put into a graveyard from anywhere, shuffle it into your library instead.
17/17
I like your phrasing a lot better, so thank you for the advice on the card idea. Just curious (because I'm not sure, honestly, and it was like 6:45 in the morning when I came up with this card): Would you need to add the word "always" to the first ability, or would that be implied by the way you've worded the ability? As for the second ability, I really just wanted to make a way to change your choice. I tried coming up with a way to do that without removing it from play at all, but then I started feeling like there would be problems with that (change to higher power, attack, change to higher toughness seemed exploitable)."1GG: Exile ~, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control" would definitely work better so thank you for the suggestion.
I like the idea of your card's mana-lowering ability, but the only thing that would sort of bug me if I was playing with this card would be the fact that by revealing the same card repeatedly, they know it's in your deck after the first time you've done it. Would it be any better if it was "While searching your library, you may reveal a card with a name not revealed this way. If you do, gain an experience counter."?
Edited to add card and then saw replies had been posted.
Communal RejuvenationXGW
Sorcery (U)
Support X
You gain 1 life for each creature you control with a +1/+1 counter on it.
Seems like a solid card. I don't have much to say about it. It could potentially even stand to be "You gain 1 life for each +1/+1 counter among creatures you control" or something similar.
Fireblade Strike1R Sorcery {C}
Overwhelm (This spell can deal excess damage to the controller of the creature that it dealt damage to.)
~ deals 3 damage to target creature.
Overwhelm is basically a spell version of trample. In addition, since it's noncombat damage, it can be redirected to a planeswalker controlled by that player if you wish.
I like this card quite a lot. The Overwhelm concept is nice, and it just seems like an all-around solid card from what I can tell.
Behemoth Monstrosity3GG
Creature - Beast
*/*
When Behemoth Monstrosity enters the battlefield, pick one:
This creature's power equals the highest toughness among creatures opponent controls and has 4 toughness
This creature's power is 4 and has toughness that equals the highest power among creatures opponent controls
1GG: Return this card to your hand and cast it without playing its mana cost. "All creatures are made to either destroy or be destroyed."
This card sounds a lot more black than red in my opinion. Either way though, I feel like the effects a little weak for what I'm use to at 1 mana. If this was bumped up to injure 2 I could see playing it in limited. I'm a little worried how you track what creatures are injured and what are not since you take all counters off the creature when it becomes a 1/1. That was part of the reason monstrosity was cool. Monstrous creatures got a counter to show their state, same with renown. I think from a board state management standpoint I'd rather the creature die normally.
Thank you for your feedback. Originally I had worded it a little differently, and the original wording felt a lot worse. Originally it was "At the beginning of your upkeep, put a -1/-1 counter on this creature. If it is sent to your graveyard this way, put a token copy of it into play that is a 1/1." That seemed extremely unwieldy, so I tried to cut as much fat away as possible. I can see your point though for sure, so I would have to consider better solutions.
Creature - Human Trader (R)
Whenever an opponent draws a card, you gain a value counter.
Remove 3 value counters: Target opponent reveals their hand. Play a creature card from their hand without paying its mana cost.
"My deals are so good they're practically a steal. No, really...I steal 'em."
2/2
Thank you for the further explanation. I truly appreciate that. I can see what you're saying, and you clearly are much better at this and have a better understanding of MTG lore and concepts and mechanics than I do. I'm not actually a MTG player (never was at any more than a very, very basic level like ten years ago), but I took a liking for designing MTG cards based entirely on devising mechanical interactions and making "flavor cards". Thank you again for your honest insight.
As much as I appreciate your honest feedback, I feel this was a bit of a harsh category. I think everything in the card design fits together flavor-wise, and while it might not be the most original concept a 1/3 seems harsh. The name, the creature type, the activated ability (I even gave it a mana cost of G, T to represent the use of time and wood to create the bows), and the name of the bow counters themselves, the ability the bow provides (while it might have been better to make it damage flying creatures, there really are no logical rules in the world that say bows can't or would never be used on ground targets that make this contrary to its flavor), the flavor text, the fact that it's a small creature that's main purpose is to supply the weapons for the real fighters. Honestly I felt like this card was almost pure flavor, and if it's playable that's incidental.
Again, I appreciate the feedback and will probably submit further ideas, because I do feel that this sort of analysis greatly aides me in becoming better at this.
Creature - Elf (U)
G, T: Put a Bow counter on target creature.
Creatures with a Bow counter gain "T: Deal damage to target creature equal to this creature's power."
"Sometimes all a warrior needs is a really good bow."
1/2
I thought that it would be RW based on the fact that it's a combination of burn damage and healing.
Foolish Dilemma BW
Sorcery
Pick one: You gain five life, or you lose five life. If you gain life this way, all creatures target opponent controls get a +1/+1 counter. If you lose life this way, all creatures you control get a +1/+1 counter.
"A fool's dilemma can only be avoided by not being a fool. But sometimes, if you're lucky, fools win."
I like this card. It's a nice effect. Giving all creatures you control Ingest could end up making the opponent have a really bad time though - especially if there are lots of tokens in play.
Zetakz, the Manaslayer 1RRR
Legendary Creature - Goblin
3/4
First Strike
At the beginning of your upkeep, if any opponent controls more than land than you, you may pick a land card each opponent controls. Those lands are destroyed. If no land is destroyed this way, put a +1/+1 counter on Zetakz, the Manaslayer.
"If I'm not the strongest, the fastest, and the richest then I cheat."
Castaway 1RW
Sorcery
Name a card. All players exile all cards and creatures from the battlefield, their hand, their library, and their graveyard with that name. All opponents take one damage for each card exiled this way, and you gain one life for each card exiled this way. Cards exiled this way may not leave exile.
"Be gone, and by God's will shall I never see you again!"
Did not realize this card existed. Wow.
Enchantment
When Castaway enters the battlefield, all players exile all cards in their graveyard.
Any time a card would enter a player's graveyard, exile it instead.
Cards exiled this way may not leave exile.
"All things will cease to exist - to disappear and never be seen again."
I like your phrasing a lot better, so thank you for the advice on the card idea. Just curious (because I'm not sure, honestly, and it was like 6:45 in the morning when I came up with this card): Would you need to add the word "always" to the first ability, or would that be implied by the way you've worded the ability? As for the second ability, I really just wanted to make a way to change your choice. I tried coming up with a way to do that without removing it from play at all, but then I started feeling like there would be problems with that (change to higher power, attack, change to higher toughness seemed exploitable)."1GG: Exile ~, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control" would definitely work better so thank you for the suggestion.
I like the idea of your card's mana-lowering ability, but the only thing that would sort of bug me if I was playing with this card would be the fact that by revealing the same card repeatedly, they know it's in your deck after the first time you've done it. Would it be any better if it was "While searching your library, you may reveal a card with a name not revealed this way. If you do, gain an experience counter."?
Edited to add card and then saw replies had been posted.
I like this card quite a lot. The Overwhelm concept is nice, and it just seems like an all-around solid card from what I can tell.
Behemoth Monstrosity 3GG
Creature - Beast
*/*
When Behemoth Monstrosity enters the battlefield, pick one:
- This creature's power equals the highest toughness among creatures opponent controls and has 4 toughness
- This creature's power is 4 and has toughness that equals the highest power among creatures opponent controls
1GG: Return this card to your hand and cast it without playing its mana cost."All creatures are made to either destroy or be destroyed."
Thank you for your feedback. Originally I had worded it a little differently, and the original wording felt a lot worse. Originally it was "At the beginning of your upkeep, put a -1/-1 counter on this creature. If it is sent to your graveyard this way, put a token copy of it into play that is a 1/1." That seemed extremely unwieldy, so I tried to cut as much fat away as possible. I can see your point though for sure, so I would have to consider better solutions.