Hello once again, I have updated the set with new cards. I have also updated the first post and added an image gallery for the cards alongside the MtgCardsmith link.
I really like what you guys have come up with in terms of story.
Having some sort of "civil war" with Sarkhan representing the Dragons and Narset the old clans is great, and it would be very intresting to see what Sarkhan would do, considering his feelings for Narset (if I remember correctly).
DJK3654's philosophies ideas are pretty much spot on imho, and for the planeswalker, instead of making a new one you guys might be able to use Ob Nixilis instead?
"Add one mana of any color among the colors of cards in your graveyard to your mana pool."
Thanks a lot Void, Once I am done with the set, I'll fix all this type of wording and mistakes on my cards (like in one of my latest, where I wrote attack instead of power).
Also, I updated the set with about ten new cards, but I would really like some feedback on Forgotten Kingdom, I have a feeling it might be too strong.
Oath of Nissa seems useful if you really want to play the Avengers planeswalkers deck. I am interested in the fact that they mentioned Tibalt in the article of all planeswalkers. Foreshadowing much?
Not a big fan of the fumarole but maybe I am missing something.
"I reached this plane seeking a worthy prey, and what I found pleased me. Beyond the facade of honor and knighthood, the people of this world are vicious predators that can't avoid to battle each other. They all want to be the apex kingdom. The kingdom of Emethria, home of formidable knights and angels are led by the enfeebled King Arvald, and ripe for the hunt. Farlan, the city of secrets is led by a foul spirit, but their conspiracies for power and luxurious lives make them weak in my eyes. The stoic dwarfs of Rel-Garun recently hunted down the infamous Buried King, whom once conquered them all. Fierce fighters, they are worthy of my attention. The golems of Varzull, a memory of powerful mages now extinct, yet a very powerful memory. And now that I have completed my hunt for this whelp of a planeswalker, his kingdom belongs to me. The kingdom of Rovina is the decadent home of those who where once thought defeated, but not destroyed. While their practice of necromancy displeases me, they are fierce hunters. And perhaps under my rule I can turn this world into a trap for my true preys. This is Lathrios, and soon it will be mine."
- Garruk, the Usurper.
Theme: Medival knights and warfare, +1/+1 counters.
Mechanics:
- Renown (From Magic Origins): When this creature deals combat damage to a player, if it isn't renowned, put a +1/+1 counter on it and it becomes renowned.
- Infiltrate (New): At the beginning of your combat step, you may tap this creature.
If you do, another target creature with power lower than this creature without a +1/+1 counter is unblockable until the end of turn. Put a +1/+1 counter on it.)
- Impress (New): Whenever this creature attacks, put a +1/+1 counter on another target creature.
- Deathbond (New): When this creature dies, you may exile it. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature and attach this creature to it.
- Modular (From Darksteel): This enters the battlefield with X +1/+1 counters on it. When it dies, you may put its +1/+1 counters on target artifact creature.
In the plane of Lathrios, the dragon Zarun is a seeker of ancient relics, who's being tracking a treasure that it is said was used by the Buried King, an ancient ruler of a great part of the land.
Zarun always had an affinity with relics and such. After a long time, he finally tracked down the location of the vault of the Buried King. He carved a passage on the mountain that hid the Vault, and found the relic.
The walls were inscribed with the purpose of this forge. The Buried King, in his folly and greed, threw friends and foes alike into the forge to gain endless amounts of gold.
Zarun was no fool, and knew that such a terrible thing had to be destroyed. He struck the forge with all his might, but as soon as he touched it, it began to pull the dragon's soul from him.
In a last moment of clarity, he cast his most powerful breath of fire into the forge. The forge exploded in a blast that collapsed the whole mountain. But the dragon didn't find himself dead, buried beneath the mountain. Instead he was outside the mountain. And he felt that something had changed. He felt a great power boiling deep within himself.
With this power, he could now seek the relics of all the worlds, not just on Lathrios. He took flight and blazed across the skies of the land, before disappearing.
Well, I can see that you played Hearthstone recently, ahaha!
There are some wording issues, for example, when you want to say "summon 2 1/1 creatures into play" it's actually "Put two1/1 blue merfolk creature token into play."
Stuff like that, if you are in doubt you can go check how to write it the right way on similar cards. (http://magiccards.info/) Also the legendary dragon and other creatures have no power and toughness.
Effects like -4/-0 are usually until end of turn, and if you want that to be permanent you have to specify it, maybe with -1/-1 counters or other things.
Of all the cards you made I really like Time-Worn Nomad, it's really nice. If you want to make a set, you could start from this guy to build your location and work other mechanics around this theme (Desert, sand, "time magic", ecc.)
Choose target creature you control and pair it with another target creature you don't control.
You control that creature as long as you control your own creature.
If one of those creatures would die, sacrifice the other.
Love is like poison. It can affect you in many ways, and it can be deadly.
Crown of the Winter King
Preacher of the Old One
Assemble the army
Illusory Legion2UU
Creature - Illusion
Illusory Legion power and toughness are equal to the number of creatures you control.
If you control a creature card with flying, Illusory Legion has flying. The same is true for first strike, double strike, deathtouch, haste, hexproof, indestructible, lifelink, reach, trample, and vigilance.
If a spell or an ability targets Illusory Legion, sacrifice it.
*/*
I don't like how conquer gets worse the greater the numerical parameter is attached to it. It's much harder for conquer 3 to be satisfied than conquer 1, for example. Conquer 3 should be easier to trigger than conquer 1.
The Keep subtype seems pretty good, though, especially with the design decisions you've explained that will go into their creation.
Well the idea was simply that an harder conquest will trigger better benefits. Conquer 3, which is harder to accomplish, steals a creature in this case. So something like conquer 1, which is easier would give a lesser reward (because you are "conquering" less), something like, draw a card or destroy an artifact, stuff like that. But I see your points, thanks!
Where'd you get the art for Sengiri Border Post? It looks very Ulgrotha.
If you're keeping this set as draftable, for future printing out, the Keep is really cool, but keep (hah) (well done) in mind that Wizards would be pretty hesitant to actually make a new type because of goyf powerup.
I really like the Ulgrotha Borderpost ability, pay 1, then maybe get 2 life back. I'd break it up a bit, too many may/if clauses in there on a run-on sentence, it's a bit cluttered. Maybe, "At the beginning of your upkeep, you may reveal the top card of your library. If you do, you may pay 1 life and put it on the bottom of your library. If that card was a creature card, you gain 2 life."
I like the warfare flavor tho, on Keeps, as long as you control the Keep you get a benefit, but if your opponent conquers your keep, you lose ground. Very neato.
Hey man, I think I just googled imaged "keeps" or "dark castles", then found the art made by guano and used it, it really seemed very Sengir-like.
Well, it is true that I could just make it an "Artifact-keep", but I dislike the idea of someone being able to use a " destroy target artifact" to deal with something like this. That's pretty much the main reason I wanted to make it a new type of permanent. Although i'll make some cards regarding keep destruction and similar things.
Also thanks for giving me a better sentence for the keep to use, sometimes I make them too long and end up like that ahah, thanks!
And yes, the warfare flavor is pretty much my objective for this set, and I thought that something like "bases" would help make that concept a bit better.
Common mistake here: no design goal. Sets need design goals and a design goal should be included as part of the set information as it is very relevant.
Just outline what the basis, the core idea, of the set is and a general outline of how that concept will be implemented including the kind of emotional experience the set uses. For example, my set Runin has the design goal of "The set should have a variety of cards, mechanics and flavour that represent Norse mythological themes and characters. The set environment should emulate the feeling of epic conflict, that things are building up and leading toward some sort of inevitable conclusion. As opposed to Theros, this is more about being ominous than 'building your champion', meaning that it's more about waiting rather than actively building, so the design should reflect that". It doesn't even have to be that long.
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Mechanics review:
Conquest: This is a lot like Raid, and seeing as Raid is a mechanic we can expect to see again, this doesn't stand up well. It needs something to differentiate it from raid and other mechanics like Prowl, Ninjutsu and Renown.
Tenacity: Has the same problem as Conquest, it's quite similar to Fateful hour, and not only does this make it significantly less interesting but Fateful Hour ended up failing. This probably won't fare any better, if not much worse due to it's reduction in novelty.
Camouflage: Interesting and workable, but I doubt it has much design space or development room, that is, you probably won't be able to make more than a few cards with this, which is too little for a mechanic (except for special cases like the Ravnica Guild mechanics).
Scout: Unfortunately, this also has obvious problems, being the 'caring about opponents' problem in this case. This problem occurs when a mechanic cares about something that the opponent typically has more control of than the player using the mechanic. Things like life totals and cards in their graveyard are doable, but things like how many/what type of permanents they play are too difficult for the player using the mechanic to control. This is a problem because it creates unfun level of variation, where the only reason a player lost was because their opponent played their cards in a way that made your cards with the mechanic worse. Similar situations already occur in the game with mana screw/mana flood and simple top decks, so mechanics should strongly avoid increasing the frequency of gameplay of this manner. The Intimidate and Landwalk mechanics are being phases out for this exact reason.
Reckless: The fact that this doesn't work when the opponent has no creatures isn't quite as bad as Scout, but it has the same base problem, so I would avoid doing it in this way. Maybe change it to "When this creature deals combat damage to a player".
Keeps: Creating a whole new cardtype (excluding supplemental set types like planes, schemes and conspiracies) should not be done lightly. In fact, planeswalkers are the sole cardtype which has been added to normal formats and expansions since the beginning of the game. In this case, as in almost any case where a new cardtype is suggested, the most obvious decision is not to do it at all. Making a new cardtype in a normal set immediately suggests to players that it will be used frequently, in every set even. If it is not intended to be so, why was the idea not done in another way? This idea could probably be accomplished using some variation on other permanent types, perhaps using a subtype. This way you don't bring in any expectations of it being used a lot, and even some design/development problems of making the cardtype relevant and balanced.
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Sorry that this review is so negative, but it's my honest feedback on your idea. Most peoples first sets are kind of bad to start with anyway, so don't worry about it. There are plenty of problems, but that doesn't mean there aren't good solutions, think of it as a learning experience .
Hey man, don't worry about negativity, feedback is always good!
For the design goal, the idea was to give a "warfare" feeling to it, making a strategic war against the enemy. That's why many of the mechanics I made are combat centered, and I also made keeps for that reason. Having a base that provides a benefit is good, but you need to defend it or you will lose ground. Not sure if this is enough to give the idea tho.
For the mechanics:
Conquest: I see what you mean, it is not something particularly special, but I wanted to make it a simple one. Initially it was supposed to be "when you deal damage to a keep" or something along those lines, but making that type of mechanic seems a bit dangerous since keeps are a new thing and it would make this mechanic possibly obsolete pretty soon.
Tenacity: I initially wanted to make this something completely different, and maybe i'll actually do it. The idea was something like this: "Tenacity X: This creature can block X number of creatures. If this creature blocks exactly X creatures, effect". I wanted this to be a "counter" to conquest, so that a conquering player would have to calculate when to strike the opponent. And this should give the idea that the good guys are trying to defend themselves the best they can. What do you think?
Camouflage: I have some ideas for this mechanic, things like: Whenever you camouflage a creature, something. and others, i'll try to make something out of it. Glad you kinda like it!
Scout: Now that you put that way, it does seems like a faulty mechanic. A "reverse" landfall is not going to be much fun. I wanted to make something related to lands, since a scout explores enemies places, but i'll have to think at something better. Thanks for the advice!
Reckless: That's true, but the idea for reckless is that a lot of those cards will benefit from damaging an opponent, i'll post an example below to show you what I mean. But I can still tweak it a bit should it be needed to.
Keeps: I understand what you say, but I wanted to try something new and also as I said above I wanted to avoid having "destroy target artifact/enchantment/ecc." type of cards targeting them. For now I would like to try and stick to this, but i'll keep (hah!X 2) in mind what you said, I might eventually turn it into a sub-type if it will make more sense.
Thanks a lot for the review, at least I kind of know where to go now.
And here is the reckless card example I mentioned:
Having some sort of "civil war" with Sarkhan representing the Dragons and Narset the old clans is great, and it would be very intresting to see what Sarkhan would do, considering his feelings for Narset (if I remember correctly).
DJK3654's philosophies ideas are pretty much spot on imho, and for the
Thanks a lot Void, Once I am done with the set, I'll fix all this type of wording and mistakes on my cards (like in one of my latest, where I wrote attack instead of power).
Also, I updated the set with about ten new cards, but I would really like some feedback on Forgotten Kingdom, I have a feeling it might be too strong.
I could also use some help on how to properly word Mana Tombstones, not sure it is worded correctly right now.
Thanks!
Avengersplaneswalkers deck. I am interested in the fact that they mentioned Tibalt in the article of all planeswalkers. Foreshadowing much?Not a big fan of the fumarole but maybe I am missing something.
"I reached this plane seeking a worthy prey, and what I found pleased me. Beyond the facade of honor and knighthood, the people of this world are vicious predators that can't avoid to battle each other. They all want to be the apex kingdom. The kingdom of Emethria, home of formidable knights and angels are led by the enfeebled King Arvald, and ripe for the hunt. Farlan, the city of secrets is led by a foul spirit, but their conspiracies for power and luxurious lives make them weak in my eyes. The stoic dwarfs of Rel-Garun recently hunted down the infamous Buried King, whom once conquered them all. Fierce fighters, they are worthy of my attention. The golems of Varzull, a memory of powerful mages now extinct, yet a very powerful memory. And now that I have completed my hunt for this whelp of a planeswalker, his kingdom belongs to me. The kingdom of Rovina is the decadent home of those who where once thought defeated, but not destroyed. While their practice of necromancy displeases me, they are fierce hunters. And perhaps under my rule I can turn this world into a trap for my true preys. This is Lathrios, and soon it will be mine."
- Garruk, the Usurper.
Theme: Medival knights and warfare, +1/+1 counters.
Mechanics:
- Renown
- Infiltrate
If you do, another target creature with power lower than this creature without a +1/+1 counter is unblockable until the end of turn. Put a +1/+1 counter on it.)
- Impress
- Deathbond
- Modular
Here is the gallery of the current cards.
I am also updating the set on Mtgcardsmith (although not properly organized), you can see the Updates here.
Zarun always had an affinity with relics and such. After a long time, he finally tracked down the location of the vault of the Buried King. He carved a passage on the mountain that hid the Vault, and found the relic.
The walls were inscribed with the purpose of this forge. The Buried King, in his folly and greed, threw friends and foes alike into the forge to gain endless amounts of gold.
Zarun was no fool, and knew that such a terrible thing had to be destroyed. He struck the forge with all his might, but as soon as he touched it, it began to pull the dragon's soul from him.
In a last moment of clarity, he cast his most powerful breath of fire into the forge. The forge exploded in a blast that collapsed the whole mountain. But the dragon didn't find himself dead, buried beneath the mountain. Instead he was outside the mountain. And he felt that something had changed. He felt a great power boiling deep within himself.
With this power, he could now seek the relics of all the worlds, not just on Lathrios. He took flight and blazed across the skies of the land, before disappearing.
http://imgur.com/a/GUxIo
There are some wording issues, for example, when you want to say "summon 2 1/1 creatures into play" it's actually "Put two1/1 blue merfolk creature token into play."
Stuff like that, if you are in doubt you can go check how to write it the right way on similar cards. (http://magiccards.info/) Also the legendary dragon and other creatures have no power and toughness.
Effects like -4/-0 are usually until end of turn, and if you want that to be permanent you have to specify it, maybe with -1/-1 counters or other things.
Of all the cards you made I really like Time-Worn Nomad, it's really nice. If you want to make a set, you could start from this guy to build your location and work other mechanics around this theme (Desert, sand, "time magic", ecc.)
Keep going!
I would love any type of feedback you guys have tho! (Click for better resolution.)
Sorcery
Choose target creature you control and pair it with another target creature you don't control.
You control that creature as long as you control your own creature.
If one of those creatures would die, sacrifice the other.
Love is like poison. It can affect you in many ways, and it can be deadly.
Crown of the Winter King
Preacher of the Old One
Assemble the army
Creature - Illusion
Illusory Legion power and toughness are equal to the number of creatures you control.
If you control a creature card with flying, Illusory Legion has flying. The same is true for first strike, double strike, deathtouch, haste, hexproof, indestructible, lifelink, reach, trample, and vigilance.
If a spell or an ability targets Illusory Legion, sacrifice it.
*/*
Next
Yearning Despair
Cloud Knight
Artharius's Keyring
What do you guys think?
Well the idea was simply that an harder conquest will trigger better benefits. Conquer 3, which is harder to accomplish, steals a creature in this case. So something like conquer 1, which is easier would give a lesser reward (because you are "conquering" less), something like, draw a card or destroy an artifact, stuff like that. But I see your points, thanks!
Hey man, I think I just googled imaged "keeps" or "dark castles", then found the art made by guano and used it, it really seemed very Sengir-like.
Well, it is true that I could just make it an "Artifact-keep", but I dislike the idea of someone being able to use a " destroy target artifact" to deal with something like this. That's pretty much the main reason I wanted to make it a new type of permanent. Although i'll make some cards regarding keep destruction and similar things.
Also thanks for giving me a better sentence for the keep to use, sometimes I make them too long and end up like that ahah, thanks!
And yes, the warfare flavor is pretty much my objective for this set, and I thought that something like "bases" would help make that concept a bit better.
Hey man, don't worry about negativity, feedback is always good!
For the design goal, the idea was to give a "warfare" feeling to it, making a strategic war against the enemy. That's why many of the mechanics I made are combat centered, and I also made keeps for that reason. Having a base that provides a benefit is good, but you need to defend it or you will lose ground. Not sure if this is enough to give the idea tho.
For the mechanics:
Conquest: I see what you mean, it is not something particularly special, but I wanted to make it a simple one. Initially it was supposed to be "when you deal damage to a keep" or something along those lines, but making that type of mechanic seems a bit dangerous since keeps are a new thing and it would make this mechanic possibly obsolete pretty soon.
Tenacity: I initially wanted to make this something completely different, and maybe i'll actually do it. The idea was something like this: "Tenacity X: This creature can block X number of creatures. If this creature blocks exactly X creatures, effect". I wanted this to be a "counter" to conquest, so that a conquering player would have to calculate when to strike the opponent. And this should give the idea that the good guys are trying to defend themselves the best they can. What do you think?
Camouflage: I have some ideas for this mechanic, things like: Whenever you camouflage a creature, something. and others, i'll try to make something out of it. Glad you kinda like it!
Scout: Now that you put that way, it does seems like a faulty mechanic. A "reverse" landfall is not going to be much fun. I wanted to make something related to lands, since a scout explores enemies places, but i'll have to think at something better. Thanks for the advice!
Reckless: That's true, but the idea for reckless is that a lot of those cards will benefit from damaging an opponent, i'll post an example below to show you what I mean. But I can still tweak it a bit should it be needed to.
Keeps: I understand what you say, but I wanted to try something new and also as I said above I wanted to avoid having "destroy target artifact/enchantment/ecc." type of cards targeting them. For now I would like to try and stick to this, but i'll keep (hah!X 2) in mind what you said, I might eventually turn it into a sub-type if it will make more sense.
Thanks a lot for the review, at least I kind of know where to go now.
And here is the reckless card example I mentioned: