Commander/EDH is dominated by creatures with powerful or easily-abused abilities. What if we remove those silly abilities and just use beat sticks? Then you get something fun and very unexpected. Something like this.
A creature is considered "french vanilla" if it only has keyword abilities, a list of which can be found here. The only creature that violates this is Terra Stomper because "can't be countered" is not currently keyworded, but the ability is used often enough to be readily understood. It's also really hard to pass up an 8/8 trample for 6 when one of the alternatives is Brontotherium, although Primalcrux could work, too.
I've played some games with an earlier version of this and it's actually won a couple times. It's silly, really, how long this play style can fly under the radar of people. I realized how much it made an impact when a control player used Gather Specimens to steal my Kalonian Behemoth just so they could have a blocker. People expect mono-green to play flashy creatures like Vorinclex, Voice of Hunger and Avenger of Zendikar, so they plan accordingly by holding onto counterspells or removal. When your "flashy creatures" are Duskdale Wurm or Vorstclaw, people usually leave them alone...until they start getting bashed in the face with "just a 7/7 trample" and finally realize the stuff may not be flashy or cool, but they're still threats. Even then, they can be somewhat reluctant to use removal because another opponent may drop something that has immediate impact on the board.
Even the noncreature effects aren't stupidly powerful (no Tooth and Nail here!), but they work well with the other creatures.
I plan to make a list for each color using the same philosophy and post them to this same thread. Red is next as "Spicy French Vanilla", and it's looking interesting!
Blood Moon does absolutely nothing against the deck, but can totally screw over everyone else. And there's no risk of other people vastly benefiting off Gauntlet of Power because nobody will have more basic mountains than you! Gauntlet of Might would probably be better, but who wants to put something THAT expensive in a deck like this? Besides, the pump effect is universal and the mana doubling applies to any land with the Mountain subtype, which would be everything if Blood Moon is on the field.
The Kaldra pieces make all the little guys formidable, and give you a nice beat stick if you decide to form Megazord (aka Kaldra itself).
Lots of firebreathing effects to give your guys some punch, and some can even be returned back to hand to prevent 2-for-1s. The firebreathing also provides a mana sink to dump all excess mana into, and allows smaller guys to be equipped with O-Naginata.
I think the all-star of the deck will be Kusari-Gama. Equipped to a first strike firebreathing dude, you can effective wipe the opponent's board.
Tried to focus on Deathtouch and drain life effects, which is where Black excels. First strike and Deathtouch work really well together, so a few equipments are included to grant first strike. Intimidate is also very popular in Black, so some of that is included, too.
General's Regalia can help save me from a large attack by redirecting some of the damage to my smaller creatures. This would allow me to swing out at somebody, but still survive the back-swing by throwing smaller stuff under the bus in true Black fashion.
I never knew Phyrexian Splicer existed until now. I can see the flying being extremely relevant since the list has very few creatures with that ability. It can even become a political tool.
Black doesn't have very many beefy creatures, but it has some very synergistic equipments in Lashwrithe and Nightmare Lash to boost creatures with each Swamp you control.
Win-cons are Exsanguinate, Hecatomb, and regular combat damage. Morinfen, the general, can also go in for the beats.
i actually love me some vanilla edh. i have one for every elder dragon legend (i know the elder dragons break the rules, but they're the commanders. and have awesome style points. chromium is the bomb!) and like you said, they really fly below people's radars (especially chromium.. don't underestimate the metal esper-dragon that shoots lasers).
isn't part of vanilla edh rules that only 'french vanilla' abilities are allowed even on non-creatures? so damage, lose life, draw cards and so on are kosher, bubbling muck, general's regalia not so kosher (since they have rather unique effects). i think phyrexian splicer is cool since they deal with french vanilla abilities.
I didn't realize that "vanilla EDH" was an actual sub-format. I did blur the line a little by using non-vanilla noncreature stuff, but I needed a way to win in my meta.
1x Kodama of the North Tree
Creature (40)
1x Adaptive Snapjaw
1x Ambush Viper
1x Ayumi, the Last Visitor
1x Battering Krasis
1x Brushstrider
1x Carnage Wurm
1x Changeling Titan
1x Crash of Rhinos
1x Craw Giant
1x Craw Wurm
1x Dancing Scimitar
1x Deadbridge Goliath
1x Deadly Insect
1x Deadly Recluse
1x Duskdale Wurm
1x Garruk's Companion
1x Glistener Elf
1x Goliath Spider
1x Jungle Weaver
1x Kalonian Behemoth
1x Kindercatch
1x Korozda Monitor
1x Leatherback Baloth
1x Mirri, Cat Warrior
1x Moss Kami
1x Nightsoil Kami
1x Plated Slagwurm
1x Primal Huntbeast
1x Rhox Charger
1x Sedge Scorpion
1x Silverback Ape
1x Spiked Baloth
1x Stomper Cub
1x Strangleroot Geist
1x Terra Stomper
1x Vorapede
1x Vorstclaw
1x Vulpine Goliath
1x Warthog
1x Yavimaya Wurm
1x Harmonize
1x Overrun
1x Overwhelming Stampede
1x Predatory Focus
1x Predatory Rampage
1x Soul's Majesty
1x Triumph of the Hordes
Enchantment (7)
1x Gaea's Anthem
1x Primal Order
1x Primal Rage
1x Rancor
1x Storm Front
1x Triumph of Ferocity
1x Wild Pair
Artifact (4)
1x Eldrazi Monument
1x Fireshrieker
1x Grappling Hook
1x Strata Scythe
Instant (1)
1x Hunter's Insight
Land (40)
40x Forest
A creature is considered "french vanilla" if it only has keyword abilities, a list of which can be found here. The only creature that violates this is Terra Stomper because "can't be countered" is not currently keyworded, but the ability is used often enough to be readily understood. It's also really hard to pass up an 8/8 trample for 6 when one of the alternatives is Brontotherium, although Primalcrux could work, too.
I've played some games with an earlier version of this and it's actually won a couple times. It's silly, really, how long this play style can fly under the radar of people. I realized how much it made an impact when a control player used Gather Specimens to steal my Kalonian Behemoth just so they could have a blocker. People expect mono-green to play flashy creatures like Vorinclex, Voice of Hunger and Avenger of Zendikar, so they plan accordingly by holding onto counterspells or removal. When your "flashy creatures" are Duskdale Wurm or Vorstclaw, people usually leave them alone...until they start getting bashed in the face with "just a 7/7 trample" and finally realize the stuff may not be flashy or cool, but they're still threats. Even then, they can be somewhat reluctant to use removal because another opponent may drop something that has immediate impact on the board.
Even the noncreature effects aren't stupidly powerful (no Tooth and Nail here!), but they work well with the other creatures.
I plan to make a list for each color using the same philosophy and post them to this same thread. Red is next as "Spicy French Vanilla", and it's looking interesting!
"Personally I love high-riak, low-reqars gambles. Life's best with a decent amount of riak. And f*** reqars."
In case you don't want to click, here's the curve:
1 - 4
2 - 6
3 - 9
4 - 10
5 - 13
6 - 9
7 - 6
8 - 2
1x Rorix Bladewing
Creature (38)
1x Anaba Bodyguard
1x Battering Craghorn
1x Bird Maiden
1x Bladetusk Boar
1x Blood Knight
1x Blood Ogre
1x Desert Drake
1x Dwarven Grunt
1x Furyborn Hellkite
1x Gerrard's Irregulars
1x Goblin Mountaineer
1x Goblin Sky Raider
1x Goblin Striker
1x Goblin Wardriver
1x Halberdier
1x Hound of Griselbrand
1x Lightning Hounds
1x Minotaur Aggressor
1x Mountain Goat
1x Mountain Yeti
1x Ornithopter
1x Predator Dragon
1x Raging Goblin
1x Razor Swine
1x Ridgetop Raptor
1x Roc of Kher Ridges
1x Rock Badger
1x Rustrazor Butcher
1x Sabertooth Wyvern
1x Sabretooth Tiger
1x Satyr Rambler
1x Slash Panther
1x Sokenzan Bruiser
1x Thunder-Thrash Elder
1x Two-Headed Cerberus
1x Viashino Spearhunter
1x Volcanic Dragon
1x Blood Moon
1x Claws of Valakut
1x Crown of Flames
1x Dragon Mantle
1x Fervor
1x Fiery Mantle
1x Ghitu Firebreathing
1x Ghitu War Cry
1x Granite Grip
1x Hammer of Purphoros
1x In the Web of War
Artifact (11)
1x Chariot of Victory
1x Gauntlet of Power
1x Genesis Chamber
1x Helm of Kaldra
1x Kusari-Gama
1x O-Naginata
1x Power Matrix
1x Shield of Kaldra
1x Sword of Kaldra
1x Trailblazer's Boots
1x Whispersilk Cloak
40x Mountain
Lots of first strike, flying, and mountainwalk.
Blood Moon does absolutely nothing against the deck, but can totally screw over everyone else. And there's no risk of other people vastly benefiting off Gauntlet of Power because nobody will have more basic mountains than you! Gauntlet of Might would probably be better, but who wants to put something THAT expensive in a deck like this? Besides, the pump effect is universal and the mana doubling applies to any land with the Mountain subtype, which would be everything if Blood Moon is on the field.
The Kaldra pieces make all the little guys formidable, and give you a nice beat stick if you decide to form Megazord (aka Kaldra itself).
Lots of firebreathing effects to give your guys some punch, and some can even be returned back to hand to prevent 2-for-1s. The firebreathing also provides a mana sink to dump all excess mana into, and allows smaller guys to be equipped with O-Naginata.
I think the all-star of the deck will be Kusari-Gama. Equipped to a first strike firebreathing dude, you can effective wipe the opponent's board.
1x Morinfen
Creature (38)
1x Accursed Spirit
1x Basilica Screecher
1x Black Knight
1x Contagious Nim
1x Dauthi Marauder
1x Deathgaze Cockatrice
1x Dusk Imp
1x Feral Shadow
1x Flensermite
1x Giant Scorpion
1x Gloomhunter
1x Gluttonous Zombie
1x Highborn Ghoul
1x Jagwasp Swarm
1x Kelinore Bat
1x Moaning Spirit
1x Moonglove Winnower
1x Nirkana Cutthroat
1x Pharika's Chosen
1x Phyrexian Crusader
1x Plague Stinger
1x Prickly Boggart
1x Razortooth Rats
1x Scourge Servant
1x Severed Legion
1x Sootfeather Flock
1x Squirming Mass
1x Stone-Throwing Devils
1x Street Wraith
1x Syndicate Enforcer
1x Terrus Wurm
1x Thrill-Kill Assassin
1x Tombstalker
1x Typhoid Rats
1x Vampire Nighthawk
1x Vault Skirge
1x Vengeful Vampire
1x Zanikev Locust
1x General's Regalia
1x Gorgon Flail
1x Gorgon's Head
1x Lashwrithe
1x Nightmare Lash
1x No-Dachi
1x Phyrexian Splicer
1x Quietus Spike
1x Viridian Claw
Sorcery (5)
1x Bubbling Muck
1x Corrupt
1x Death Cloud
1x Exsanguinate
1x Hellfire
Instant (4)
1x Fated Return
1x Midnight Charm
1x Necrobite
1x Tendrils of Corruption
Enchantment (3)
1x Dictate of Erebos
1x Hecatomb
1x Null Profusion
40x Swamp
Link to deck @ TappedOut.net
Tried to focus on Deathtouch and drain life effects, which is where Black excels. First strike and Deathtouch work really well together, so a few equipments are included to grant first strike. Intimidate is also very popular in Black, so some of that is included, too.
General's Regalia can help save me from a large attack by redirecting some of the damage to my smaller creatures. This would allow me to swing out at somebody, but still survive the back-swing by throwing smaller stuff under the bus in true Black fashion.
Bubbling Muck helps to set up for a big Death Cloud, Exsanguinate, or pull off an early Fated Return to grab a juicy fatty in somebody's graveyard. I'd just have to watch out for opposing Homeward Paths.
I never knew Phyrexian Splicer existed until now. I can see the flying being extremely relevant since the list has very few creatures with that ability. It can even become a political tool.
Black doesn't have very many beefy creatures, but it has some very synergistic equipments in Lashwrithe and Nightmare Lash to boost creatures with each Swamp you control.
Win-cons are Exsanguinate, Hecatomb, and regular combat damage. Morinfen, the general, can also go in for the beats.
isn't part of vanilla edh rules that only 'french vanilla' abilities are allowed even on non-creatures? so damage, lose life, draw cards and so on are kosher, bubbling muck, general's regalia not so kosher (since they have rather unique effects). i think phyrexian splicer is cool since they deal with french vanilla abilities.
Legacy - Solidarity - mono U aggro - burn - Imperial Painter - Strawberry Shortcake - Bluuzards - bom