This deck began as Skeleton Ship following from Galspanic's list here. The idea behind the deck is that it can't win. There are no creatures with any power that can actually attack, no way to obtain creatures, nothin'. Before C14, there were only a handful of Commanders with zero power that could technically never win the game (Azami and Skelly, I believe), but with the advent of Planeswalker Commanders I decided to make the switch to mono-U.
The basic idea is Mana Ramp > Teferi > Lock Piece (Winter Orb, Static Orb, or Stasis) > Force Concession. That, or you can play "Don't attack me guys, I physically can't win" and 25-instants and watch a game go on for two or three hours.
If you play this deck, you're required to drink and ***** about your ex to your friends because that's the real reason you sat down with your buddies to play hour-long games of EDH anyway.
This is the deck I play on paper, so it's not 100% optimized (and probably not even close). It would likely benefit from Mana Drain so play it if you have it, I guess.
I deliberately did not include Mill Jace, TMS, or Tezz because they all qualify as win conditions. The closest this deck gets is ult'ing Teferi and milling everyone out with baby Jace, which barely counts.
MVPs: Artificer's Intuition. Being able to fish up Needle, Meekstone, or Relic whenever you need them is invaluable. At worst, it gets you Mana Vault or Sol Ring, which are pretty damn good with Teferi. Stasis. The deck's actual win condition, if I'm being serious. Teferi on board + Stasis will probably be GG. Frozen Aether. Turns soft locks like Meekstone or Winter Orb into hard locks. Add Tamiyo or Teferi and watch the scoopz.
Chopping block: Counterbalance. The card is honestly terrible in EDH. I just have a foil one and it's one of my favorite cards to play in other formats. Ponder and Preordain. Cantrips that just cantrip aren't really necessary in decks where the quality of each individual card is very high. Unfortunately, I don't believe that this deck qualifies. Feel free to replace them with cards you actually feel are good.
I'd love suggestions for extra utility lands and better counterspells (again, this is just my paper list so I haven't explored it super thoroughly. Maze of Ith is probably worth inclusion). Post anything you think would make this deck more annoying.
Play this deck if you think you can avoid hate by physically not being able to win and won't draw too much hate by playing Stasis. This is a fine balance and probably won't work for everyone. Or anyone.
Jace Beleren +2 a bunch to draw everybody out
Jace Beleren ultimate a bunch to mill everyone out
Tamiyo ultimate + anything that can force opponents to draw like Ancestral Vision
Blue Sun's Zenith w/ a lot of mana over and over
Use Pongify or Rapid Hyb on one of your own creatures to beat down w/ a 3/3
Use Isochron Sceptor w/ Arcane denial after bouncing back all the permanents while you stay alive w/ elixer or spell crumple or BSZ
Keep bouncing back Mnemonic Wall to get back any of the spells that force opponents to draw.
You can win w/ TwinCast depending on what you copy
That's not even including the really janky stuff like waiting for tons of cards to get into the graveyard, shuffle your's in w/ elixer then exile the rest w/ Relic, then cast Time Reversal when they don't have many cards left in their libraries!
Built Galspanic's Skelly ship deck. Was forced to dismantle it after 1 game. I consider that a success. Good luck in making your friends hate you, it's a noble effort.
I built a very similar deck with Teferi. It was a lot of fun. Everyone hated it and asked me never to play it again. Mission: accomplished.
Overburden: hilarious against tokens. (Yes, please play that Avenger of Zendikar.) Invoke Prejudice: it certainly does. My Teferi was creatureless. I needn't explain. Pendrell Mists: Yeah, creatures aren't doing much here. If you have the namesake land, play that too. Rising Waters: more Winter Orb. Sunder: excellent with everyone's hands being full of cards they can't play. Land Equilibrium: speaking of Sunder, cast this followed by Sunder and generate ragequit. Ensnaring Bridge: man, why you gotta attack at all. Ward of Bones: no-one's getting ahead of you, for sure. Sphere of Resistance: tax tax tax.
Given all these shenanigans, I found these cards helpful, as well:
Time Spiral: draw cards, untap lands. Reset: mellow out and get more untaps. Turnabout: more untaps. Works for artifacts, too. Or tapping opponent's lands.
6 Teferi, Temporal Archmage
Creatures (3)
2 Fog Bank
3 Guard Gomazoa
5 Mnemonic Wall
Artifacts (18)
0 Everflowing Chalice
1 Elixir of Immortality
1 Mana Vault
1 Meekstone
1 Pithing Needle
1 Relic of Progenitus
1 Sensei's Divining Top
1 Sol Ring
2 Coldsteel Heart
2 Isochron Scepter
2 Mind Stone
2 Sapphire Medallion
2 Sky Diamond
2 Torpor Orb
2 Winter Orb
3 Damping Matrix
3 Static Orb
3 Worn Powerstone
Enchantments (6)
2 Artificer's Intuition
2 Counterbalance
2 Stasis
4 Frozen Aether
7 Meishin, the Mind Cage
8 Decree of Silence
0 Ancestral Vision
1 Ponder
1 Preordain
4 Wash Out
5 Devastation Tide
5 Time Reversal
6 Inundate
6 Recurring Insight
8 Treasure Cruise
Instants (25)
1 Flusterstorm
1 Pongify
1 Rapid Hybridization
2 Arcane Denial
2 Counterspell
2 Cyclonic Rift
2 Into the Roil
2 Memory Lapse
2 Muddle the Mixture
2 Remand
2 Twincast
3 Capsize
3 Dream Fracture
3 Exclude
3 Spell Crumple
4 Cryptic Command
4 Dismiss
4 Fact or Fiction
4 Mindbreak Trap
4 Plagiarize
4 Rewind
5 Evacuation
5 Jace's Ingenuity
6 Time Stop
0 Blue Sun's Zenith
3 Jace Beleren
5 Tamiyo, The Moon Sage
Land (36)
1 Academy Ruins
1 Buried Ruin
27 Island
1 Lonely Sandbar
1 Myriad Landscape
1 Mystifying Maze
1 Remote Isle
1 Seat of the Synod
1 Tectonic Edge
1 Terrain Generator
This deck began as Skeleton Ship following from Galspanic's list here. The idea behind the deck is that it can't win. There are no creatures with any power that can actually attack, no way to obtain creatures, nothin'. Before C14, there were only a handful of Commanders with zero power that could technically never win the game (Azami and Skelly, I believe), but with the advent of Planeswalker Commanders I decided to make the switch to mono-U.
The basic idea is Mana Ramp > Teferi > Lock Piece (Winter Orb, Static Orb, or Stasis) > Force Concession. That, or you can play "Don't attack me guys, I physically can't win" and 25-instants and watch a game go on for two or three hours.
If you play this deck, you're required to drink and ***** about your ex to your friends because that's the real reason you sat down with your buddies to play hour-long games of EDH anyway.
This is the deck I play on paper, so it's not 100% optimized (and probably not even close). It would likely benefit from Mana Drain so play it if you have it, I guess.
I deliberately did not include Mill Jace, TMS, or Tezz because they all qualify as win conditions. The closest this deck gets is ult'ing Teferi and milling everyone out with baby Jace, which barely counts.
MVPs:
Artificer's Intuition. Being able to fish up Needle, Meekstone, or Relic whenever you need them is invaluable. At worst, it gets you Mana Vault or Sol Ring, which are pretty damn good with Teferi.
Stasis. The deck's actual win condition, if I'm being serious. Teferi on board + Stasis will probably be GG.
Frozen Aether. Turns soft locks like Meekstone or Winter Orb into hard locks. Add Tamiyo or Teferi and watch the scoopz.
Chopping block:
Counterbalance. The card is honestly terrible in EDH. I just have a foil one and it's one of my favorite cards to play in other formats.
Ponder and Preordain. Cantrips that just cantrip aren't really necessary in decks where the quality of each individual card is very high. Unfortunately, I don't believe that this deck qualifies. Feel free to replace them with cards you actually feel are good.
I'd love suggestions for extra utility lands and better counterspells (again, this is just my paper list so I haven't explored it super thoroughly. Maze of Ith is probably worth inclusion). Post anything you think would make this deck more annoying.
Play this deck if you think you can avoid hate by physically not being able to win and won't draw too much hate by playing Stasis. This is a fine balance and probably won't work for everyone. Or anyone.
Draft my Peasant Cube.
Jace Beleren +2 a bunch to draw everybody out
Jace Beleren ultimate a bunch to mill everyone out
Tamiyo ultimate + anything that can force opponents to draw like Ancestral Vision
Blue Sun's Zenith w/ a lot of mana over and over
Use Pongify or Rapid Hyb on one of your own creatures to beat down w/ a 3/3
Use Isochron Sceptor w/ Arcane denial after bouncing back all the permanents while you stay alive w/ elixer or spell crumple or BSZ
Keep bouncing back Mnemonic Wall to get back any of the spells that force opponents to draw.
You can win w/ TwinCast depending on what you copy
That's not even including the really janky stuff like waiting for tons of cards to get into the graveyard, shuffle your's in w/ elixer then exile the rest w/ Relic, then cast Time Reversal when they don't have many cards left in their libraries!
EDH Decks:
WUBOloro, Combo ControlWUB
UBOona Reanimator ComboUB
BRGProssh, Eater of the Blue MageBRG
UBRGrixis StormUBR
Rebuilding Jenara (stealyourstuff.dec)
Pauper Deck:
UBInspired SirenUB
I built a very similar deck with Teferi. It was a lot of fun. Everyone hated it and asked me never to play it again. Mission: accomplished.
Overburden: hilarious against tokens. (Yes, please play that Avenger of Zendikar.)
Invoke Prejudice: it certainly does. My Teferi was creatureless. I needn't explain.
Pendrell Mists: Yeah, creatures aren't doing much here. If you have the namesake land, play that too.
Rising Waters: more Winter Orb.
Sunder: excellent with everyone's hands being full of cards they can't play.
Land Equilibrium: speaking of Sunder, cast this followed by Sunder and generate ragequit.
Ensnaring Bridge: man, why you gotta attack at all.
Ward of Bones: no-one's getting ahead of you, for sure.
Sphere of Resistance: tax tax tax.
Given all these shenanigans, I found these cards helpful, as well:
Time Spiral: draw cards, untap lands.
Reset: mellow out and get more untaps.
Turnabout: more untaps. Works for artifacts, too. Or tapping opponent's lands.
UTeferi, Temporal ArchmageU's prison: blue is the new orange is the new black.
Mizzix Of The Izmagnus : wheels on fire... rolling down the road...
BSidisi, Undead VizierB: Bis zum Erbrechen
GTitiania, Protector Of ArgothG: Protecting Argoth, by blowing it up!
GYisan, The Wanderer BardG: Gradus Ad Elfball.
Duel EDH: Yisan & Titania.
In Progress: Grand Arbiter Augustin IV duel; Grenzo, Dungeon Warden Doomsday.