MTG Salvation

My friend was moving to his attack step and started yelling my name till I yelled back with a "WHAT?!!"

him: "Danger zone..."

Me: "shut up Archer."

Quote from cloned

My friend was moving to his attack step and started yelling my name till I yelled back with a "WHAT?!!"

him: "Danger zone..."

Me: "shut up Archer."

Love it. I'm definitely going to see how many Archer references I can get in the next time I play.

Whenever anyone plays a spell or activates abilities:
"I'll allow it."
"Resolves."

Or we go into a long chain of: (We all know nobody has responses)
"Pass priority."
"Retain priority. Response. No nevermind. Pass priority."
"Hold priority. (looks ponderously at hand for a while) Pass priority."

Also occasionally there are Eor voices.
"Ooooookaaaaay."
"Sometimes I just wanna dieeeeeee."
That mostly stopped after the store owner threatened to kick us out.

Racist jokes. Lots and lots of racist jokes.

Quote from The American Dragon

Racist jokes. Lots and lots of racist jokes.

Playin the race card.

Doom Blade.

Quote from runningbear

Playin the race card.

Doom Blade.

I think you mean Invoke Prejudice.

Quote from Lithl »

I think you mean Invoke Prejudice.

The "token black guy" in our group once cast Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir, which was promptly Enslaved.

A friend of mine uses Little Girl cards as tokens and managed to have 9 of them out with a Yavimaya Elder (Urza's Destiny). He alpha struck someone and had to sacrifice the Elder, gaining cards in the process.

#1 - Did you just have Grandpa lead those little girls into battle?
#2 - Yes, yes I did.
Me - And then he ended up going to prison for it.

Guy - "Woah, that's a lot of big dudes."
Player A - "You're a lot of big dudes."
Guy - "What are you saying I'm fat?"
Player A - "Uh... yeah. Yeah I am."

"Man I feel Jin Gitaxis coming down any minute now"

"Screw this, I'm going to go home and beat my wife."

"What is that? Island? Yeah that card really needs to be banned."

"Cards in hand?" (always happens right before a mind twist)

"So basically it reads (2)(U): get ****slapped."

"I'm making a new deck. It's mean. Like turn four kill everyone, mean."
"And I can take a tire iron to your knees, doesn't mean it's a road we wanna go down."

"That's the second Sensei's Divining Top I've milled away this game."
"You win life."

Guy 1: "Ew...your board state is kinda freakin' me out right now."
Guy 2: "The guy sitting next to you just told you he was a boardline sociopath and you're worried about my board?"
Me: "Yeah, that's perfectly sound logic. I have no reason to do him harm at the present time, he's amusing me. Er, no lasting harm."

"No, the correct play when Drana hits the table is to kick him in the junk and tell him he had it coming."

"So I have three win conditions. I can swing at you. I can cast Insurrection and kill you with your own artifact army. Or I can just say 'pass turn' and let your own Mind Unbound deck you."

Guy 1: "Genesis Wave for...(counts)...twenty seven."
(Flips Phage the Untouchable)
Guy 1: "Son of a mother******* *****! This is gonna make it a lot harder to kill Joe, isn't it?"
Me: (Laughing really hard) "Suck it."
Guy 2: "Stifle?"
Me: "Oh you whore..."

Me: (Plays Gravepact)
Everyone else: I ******* hate you.
Me: It's Ghave's will that you all die miserable and creature-less.
Guy playing Blue: "It's Negate's will that you will get nothing and like it."

I love my playgroup lol.

Quote from d0su

The "token black guy" in our group once cast Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir, which was promptly Enslaved.

It would seem he was being.... Persecuted.

I love this thread.


Anyway, "Oh Snap!" whenever anyone casts Snapcaster Mage. I even wrote in in sharpie on my copy,

Greenlexluthor, that actually might be the greatest thing I have seen in this thread. Kudos!

There was one game where I cast Wood Elves, equipped it with Skullclamp, recurred it and Karmic Guide with Reveillark, which also brought back Rune-Scarred Demon. I then searched for another land, a Tooth and Nail, and then Clamped the elf again to draw two more. My opponent just goes, "All aboard the train to Value Town."

Any time someone gets a poison counter in any game I play in, I start singing Down With the Sickness by Disturbed, and they're usually dead before I finish the song.

One of the first times I casted Vindicate after buying it, I blew up someones planeswalker, and someone else said, "Guess he was selfish. And wrong."

Quote from 3mag5num7

Guy 1: "Genesis Wave for...(counts)...twenty seven."
(Flips Phage the Untouchable)
Guy 1: "Son of a mother******* *****! This is gonna make it a lot harder to kill Joe, isn't it?"
Me: (Laughing really hard) "Suck it."
Guy 2: "Stifle?"
Me: "Oh you whore..."

Me: (Plays Gravepact)
Everyone else: I ******* hate you.
Me: It's Ghave's will that you all die miserable and creature-less.
Guy playing Blue: "It's Negate's will that you will get nothing and like it."

I love my playgroup lol.

Nice, I have a "negate smile" i do right before i counter a spell, so much that my group hates to see me smile with open mana lol. Also just so you know, Genesis Wave gives you a choice to put the perm into play or let it go to your graveyard, but no need to point it out to your opponent lol!

My playgroup knows my love for copying effects very well.
Guy playing Progenitus: 'Alright, even if he's going to copy it - Genesis Wave for 15!'
me: 'The question is not IF I'll copy it, but how often.'

Friend, noticing me flipping through someone's trade binder: 'Don't show him the red! I'm always on the receiving end of it.'

Player a- Gen Wave for 17
player b- Flashes in Hive Mind
everyone starts laughing
Player a - "can i scoop in response"

Opponent: Who's your general? Is that Geth?
Me: Yeth.

"Ive been wanting to play EDH for two weeks, and you just made me hate magic"
the guy was playing infect, me a trolly Dave.EDH

Playing a Ruhan deck filled with 24 cards that featture Raymond Swanland Artwork, i announce "Everybody loves Raymond" in a deep Robert Barone (Brad Garrett) voice each time i cast one of them, just to annoy my opponents a little.

"I'm going to use Weathered Wayfarer to search up Reliquary Tower, play Reliquary Tower, then end my turn. I have 8 cards in hand so I have to discard."

I swear I know how to play this game.

Me finishing a 2 hour game.
"Coffers for 15, Vesuva for 15, Yawgmoth's Will, sorry guys..."

I was in a 6 person EDH game, and it was the start of the game. my buddy Paul was going first so nothing had been played yet:

Paul: "Plains, Serra Asc-"
Me: "OBJECTION! Force of Will!"
Paul: "Really dude?"
Me: "Like hell I want to see that turn one"

. . . . .he targeted me the rest of the game -____-

The scene: 3-player game with Ghave, Sharuum, and Niv-Mizzet (me). Sharuum and I have full hands, and it's Ghave's turn.

Ghave: I'm getting nervous with you blue players.
Sharuum: Why? It's just five untapped lands.
Niv-Mizz:

Friend and I started a 4 man pod against two other people we've never played before.
Myself: Grimgrin, Friend: Riku, them Karador and Kresh I think.
Up until turn 3 my friend is only playing ramp cards.

Karador "do you have any other cards in your deck besides ramp?
Me "nah, his deck is just 30 odd lands and ramp cards. I call him 'Mana Ramp Man'!"
Karador "all that ramping has to be for something"
Me "don't worry about it. Mana Ramp Man can't do anything"
Later on
Friend: "I cast Gen Wave for 20, copy it with Riku, Reverberate, then copy every creature that isn't legendary. I then Rite of Replication kicked and copied on Darksteel Colossus. Btw Urabrask."