MTG Salvation

Hello,

I have a member of my playgroup that is sucking all the fun out of our magic night for a variety of reasons. I've decided that since they like to play jerky decks, I would trump theirs and make an even jerkier deck. My first thoughts went to Curse of Exhaustion and Possibility Storm, then to Perplexing Chimera and Homeward Path, but I'm having trouble working out a decklist. So if anyone has some really jerky, I mean lose friends type decks, I could really use one to punish this player.

Basically, they play nothing but lock decks, every game. We can't ever play a game that doesn't last two hours. And they're playing these decks against new players that have only been playing a couple months. And every game, from turn 1 every time, he spends all his time, effort, and political games to knock me out first so he can be free to take advantage of the new players lack of knowledge. I have to explain pretty much everything to them, while he just lets them play terribly.

I feel like this situation can only be resolved by taking the gloves off. This player already plays pretty dirty so I might as well give em a taste of their own medicine.

Stasis decklists are always douchey.

Stasis would be good, but I really just wanna punish this one player, not the whole group.

Try a mill/counter or straight mill or straight counter

I do like the idea of a Reality Acid + blinkers deck Going into the land destruction route. But if you want to annoy him, I would play Second Sunrise eggs combo. This deck IS annoying

Not sure if it's what you are talking about, but after reading another users stuffy doll deck I found out you can get a vary easy infant loop of damage that almost insures a win if you play it with Guilty Consience.

Can't think of a more jerk way of winning.

I also find destroying lands to be a low blow.

If you want to just mess with the one player then I would recommend an Elf Opposition deck. The idea behind this deck is to power out Opposition. Then tap down your opponents lands on their upkeep which is basically a soft lock.

Here is a sample deck list:



If you want to screw everyone, one of my favorite decks is a kataki, war's wage & Mycosynth Lattice deck where your creatures Produce mana with some producing 2 mana and attack them for 1 damage each turn.

Quote from Uldakh

Try a mill/counter or straight mill or straight counter

I was considering a deck with Invisible Stalker, paranoid delusions, whispering madness, and trouble.

Quote from Pafka

The jerkiest decks might be the most uninteracting decks or land destruction.
Second Sunrise, Manaless Dredge, GreenLand destruction (Acid moss, acidic slime, primal command, dat red suspend dude which destroys nonbasic land, plow under, nytkthos with bunch of dudes).
Also might be Norin the Wary deck annd discard deck.
In other words, if you want him to suffer, dont let him to play magic. Well, you can deny it by destroying lands, disrupting hands, countering everything he plays.

Green land destruction might work. I can probably get a crucible and some strip mines, he'll love that. Norin the wary sounds hilarious. I'll try these out. Thanks.

Quote from TsunaHan

I do like the idea of a Reality Acid + blinkers deck Going into the land destruction route. But if you want to annoy him, I would play Second Sunrise eggs combo. This deck IS annoying

Reality acid with stuff like Narrow Escape, yeah, that could work. Thanks for the idea.

Using powerful cards would be a start, but that would give him the satisfaction of telling you that you overpowering him via cards instead of design. I usually prepare several decks to deal with obnoxious players, first is Enchantress lockdown using Solitary Confinement, the others are aggro variants. A mono green Stompy deck with pro-blue and hex proof tends to be a major headache for control players. Boseiju, Who Shelters All and Plow Under is nightmare for control players who rely heavily on consistent mana. You can also play your own control deck, splashing black for discard.

For the best of two worlds, I think The Rock is the deck style that'd bite back the hardest. Duress/Inquisition of Kozilek to start, then use utility creatures like Ravenous Rats; resilient ones like Strangleroot Geist, Geralf's Messenger, Thragtusk, and Mutavault/Mishra's Factory; permanent destruction like Pernicious Deeds and Maelstrom Pulse. I'm under the impression that he plays blue, so Great Sable Stag would be painful, albeit obvious.

Can you provide more info on his deck?

here's some cards to consider for blue mill off the top of my head maybe they will inspire you.

Traumatize
Curse of the Bloody Tome
Mind Sculpt
Chronic Flooding
Hedron Crab
Dream Twist
Sanity Grinding
Twincast,Rebound and Redirect for doubling up and spreading the love
Tome Scour
and good ol Jace, Memory Adept

I personally think most decks are fun to play or play against, because there's a challenge to overcome. But one of the most annoying to me is not Stasis, but tempo locks like Memory Lapse and Plow Under. Basically an Isochron Scepter lock deck. Memory lapse on Isochron Scepter with support cards being Orim's Chant, silence, counter magic and bounce.

Bant Hexproof maybe? They can't touch your dudes with spot removal, and you can pretty much outrace them.

you have to love mill decks

What are his main locks and wincons? Otherwise all we can do to help is toss ideas out blindly. What are the colors of most of them and how do they lock you out/kill you? If you can tell me those then I'll have a better idea of what to do, as I've built (and retired) numerous decks I made for fun that my playgroup deemed annoying (landwalk, theft, and other fun things).

If his locks involve creatures, then run Act of Treason, Portent of Betrayal, Reckless Abandon, Fling, etc. Altar's Reap, Skulltap, Perilous Research and company help fuel this as well. Brion Stoutarm is very fun for this too if you want to use white for added control.

If it's spell based, then Swerve, Redirect, Twincast, Wild Ricochet, Reverberate, Ricochet Trap (I presume most of his decks are blue if all they do is control), and others could make his life hell. Also, with those, you can use other players spells against him.

For Reality Acid, Glimmerpoint Stag and Conjurer's Closet or Deadeye Navigator can ruin them. I crippled a mono-black player because he decided to target all of his removal and drain spells at me, so I repayed him with my Acid, Stag, and flicker spells to take him down to three swamps.

Goblins could work. Just use cards like Goblin Arsonist, Goblin Fireslinger, Goblin Bushwhacker, and Goblin Wardriver to swarm him and then use the classic Goblin Grenade to finish him.

If you have the money or cards, you could go Fun Police as well.

Never let him play anything, and punish him for having anything in his hand. I only ever play this when i want to win. It rarely loses

Death Pits of Rath + Goblin Sharpshooter. Confusion in the Ranks can create some pretty silly locks.

Like I always say in RPG discussions, you can't solve out-of-game problems with in-game solutions. If the player isn't deliberately trying to ruin people's fun, then talking to him is the best way to handle things. If he is trying to ruing people's fun, then there's a good chance that all you're going to do is push him to raise his undesirable behaviors to a new level.

Is this guy a friend of yours? Are the other players friends of yours? The more detailed your description of the circumstances of your player group, the better we can advise you on how to proceed.

Old school Affinity is obnoxious. Here's my old decklist:


If you want to be super annoying, get either version of Tezzeret, a Tolarian Academy, and some Skullclamps.

(You could probably make it better with newer cards as well, I dunno. I stopped playing it because no one in my group of friends had fun playing against it.)

When done right, combos with proliferation and poison counters can be super annoying too.

EDIT: Anything involving Stasis and Chronatog is a recipe for being that guy.

Quote from Wingedkagouti

Quote from Xyx

Quote from Quendalon

you can't solve out-of-game problems with in-game solutions.

True, but sometimes it's easier to talk about it after you've demonstrated the error of their ways. Walking a mile in your shoes can make people more sympathetic.

Or it may backfire horribly and the person you want to teach a lesson has tons of fun and will seek to make games play that way more often.

We need to take into consideration that those particular people may not be worthwhile to invest one's time and effort on. Not saying they are bad people, just not clicking right with you.

I just thought of this. Why not play a Mana Flare type deck with something like Mishra's Helix. So you can punish one player, while everyone else loves you for making their spells easier to cast.

The only correct answer is to play a Hivemind/Twincast/Shahrazad with zero wincons. Your wincon is your opponent quitting. Anything else is amateur hour.

Quote from Crunk-Aid

I have a member of my playgroup that is sucking all the fun out of our magic night for a variety of reasons. I've decided that since they like to play jerky decks, I would trump theirs and make an even jerkier deck.

When this happens in my group, typically someone will grab a Burn deck (think legacy) with a swag of answers in it (like a full playset of disks), and just targets that one player who deserves to learn. And watch them squirm....

Or better yet, how about an enabler deck?
I occasionally run a mono-blue deck with Dream Halls. All players can use Halls, in case you're not aware, so absolute chaos usually follows.
But because you've built your deck to benefit the most....

Quote from TrappedUnderIce

Death Pits of Rath + Goblin Sharpshooter. Confusion in the Ranks can create some pretty silly locks.

I used to run Sharpshooter with Basilisk Collar for the same effect - I liked it over the Pits of Rath approach, myself.

Quote from TheBlueMuzzy

Never let him play anything, and punish him for having anything in his hand. I only ever play this when i want to win. It rarely loses

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artifacts 4 Black Vise 4 Ebony Owl Netsuke Enchantment 2 Dissipation Field 1 Propaganda 1 Arcane Laboratory	Spells 4 Boomerang 4 Echoing Truth 3 Wash Out 4 Trade Secrets 4 Into the Roil 3 Snap 2 Eye of Nowhere 4 Remand 2 Sunder 1 Wheel and Deal	Land 2 Tectonic Edge 19 Island

Honestly - I've been looking for a mono-u deck to play. That looks like something I could whip out once in a while, haha. Thanks for posting

Quote from Xyx

Quote from MermaidsAreManly

The only correct answer is to play a Hivemind/Twincast/Shahrazad with zero wincons. Your wincon is your opponent quitting. Anything else is amateur hour.

I like the cut of your jib. Part of me is tempted to build that deck. I don't think I could play it more than once, though, and Shahrazad is banned in every format ever even though/precisely because it doesn't really do anything.

There was a time when Shahrazad was legal in vintage. I distinctly remember playing against a fully powered Shahrazad deck back in 2003 or so. That's right, I remember it from 11 years ago. That was the first and only time I've seen the card played. That should tell you something. I did not win, but I did not scoop. Also I believe the entire goal was to remove my entire deck from the game. Back then cards removed from the game in a sub-game stayed removed from the game. I don't think he had any other win condition.

I've played a few decks that use Coalition Victory to win. Everyone hates that in a multi-player game. I think my most successful version went something like this:



There are undoubtedly ways to improve this deck but I was trying to make it as budget as possible (<$20). Ramp to 8 mana and win. Everyone hated this deck, even though it is pure jank.