Observation: White/green thematically fits with Phyrexia’s hivemind church of assimilation at least as well as the original Phyrexia’s all-black-everything motif.
Observation: Within white/green, Selesnya is especially in-line with Phyrexian ideologies: a single consciousness unites the guild and seeks to make all life part of its plan.
Observation: Mechanically, the card most synergistic with Trostani, Selesnya’s Voice is nothing heart-warming or noble from her colors but the blood-fueled horror-engine that is Phyrexian Processor.
Ironclad Conclusion: Trostani is a Phyrexian Sleeper Agent. Or, at least one of the dryads is. Or maybe they’re just infected with the oil. I dunno, guys. It’s a card game.
Q: If Selesnya has a hivemind consciousness, wouldn’t it notice if one of its highest ranking members was a traitor?
A: Not if a fervent devotion to Phyrexian assimilation was indistinguishable to Mat-Selesnya from a fervent devotion to Selesnya assimilation!
Q: How did Phyrexian influence reach Ravnica?
A: Planeswalkers, probably! Vraska? She might have been to Mirrodin! Why not! If all else fails, blame Bolas.
Q: Does this match up with the timeline of New Phyrexia’s emergence?
A: It might, but even if it doesn’t, WotC bombs the Magic timeline from orbit every five years or so.
Q: Would it not be subtler—richer—if the cause of Trostani’s affinity with Phyrexia was merely a thematic one, warning of the ruthlessness laying hidden in any utopian impulse, instead of a cheap plot twist that renders a compelling, almost realistic fanatic into a cackling one?
A: nerd.
So, with Trostani’s true allegiances proven without a doubt, let’s get into the deck: Phyrexian-themed artifact token G/W!
The basic goal is to abuse Trostani’s ability with token copies of nontoken creatures, or use the tried-and-true Phyrexian Processor to make get giant creatures and tons of life. Since G/W can’t consistently grab Soul Foundry (and because I want more of that delicious, twisted-metal-and-scorched-flesh Phyrexian flavor), Prototype Portal and an artifact subtheme are included, which gets especially fun/dumb when you’re start making copies of Portal itself. It’s a slow, grindy, fragile process, but the board states can become so ludicrous that it’s worth it. Of course, my favorite EDH moment was a guy getting infinite turns with Magistrate’s Scepter and 17+ artifacts, so maybe you feel differently about the whole thing.
You might like this deck if:
-You loved that guy’s elephant deck but also want to sometimes win.
-You like artifacts, tokens, artifact tokens, artifact tokens that make other artifact tokens, artifact tokens that make other artifact tokens that make other—
-You own a Séance.
-You want to draw minimal hate once your commanders are revealed.
-Using tutors is the sort of stressful decision-making that you’d prefer remain in the realm of insurance-buying and restaurant-ordering.
-You don’t mind admitting you need a calculator sometimes.
You might not like this deck if:
-You feel like any deck running Mana Crypt should be at least kinda good.
-You want your win to come instantly and from nowhere and not upon the backs of glaringly obvious threats over the course of a dozen turns.
-Your favorite thing about EDH is its decks’ consistency.
-Your playgroup is heavy on hate of virtually any sort: artifact, ETB effects, graveyard, etc.
-You can’t shut off that voice in the back of your head whispering “this would be so much easier if I had access to blue.”
-You’re very concerned about authorial intent in the MtG lore universe.
Q: You don’t run a lot of token generators.
A: That is true. Generally, most reasonably priced token generators will yield you, at most, a Centaur Healer each turn from Trostani’s ability. It’s much more fun to turn creature cards into tokens. That has the added bonus of keeping them from crumpling under Ugin’s -0.
Q: Wouldn’t Arcum Dagsson do this but much better?
A: Yes.
Q: Did you really include Karn for no other reason than to let Trostani copy your noncreature artifacts?
A: Yes.
Q: How about Daretti—
A: Yes.
Individual Card Choices:
Clock of Omens: I keep taking this out and putting it back in. Haven’t drawn it in testing yet, so there’s that. Has the chance to be phenomenal, but really only when this wildly fragile machine is already running.
Loreseeker’s Stone: Kinda unsure about this one. I’m mostly keeping it here for a worst-case-scenario situation: if I’ve got no hand and no board, this can help. Plus, with all the totally fair artifact ramp here, it’s easy-ish to dump my hand. There are better draw engines available in these colors, but this is one of a handful that only takes one card to work. Considering switching for Dreamstone Hedron (for its superior artifact copying functionality) or Harmonize (which I should probably be running anyway).
Mindslaver: Slaverlock with Prototype Portal is typically worse than Slaverlock with Academy Ruins, but these are the colors I’ve chosen. Plus, in some beautiful fantasy scenarios where all of your opponents are all probably running Daghatar, Voltaic Key and/or Clock of Omens can let you Slaverlock the whole table.
Phyrexian Furnace: Here for flavor! You get bonus points for insisting your friends keep careful track of their graveyard order because you run this.
Prototype Portal: The ideal, hilarious, long-term imprint choice here is Sculpting Steel, but if you’re in even the slightest bit of danger, artifact ramp or a creature might be your best bet. The list runs enough artifact creatures that this can also function as a pseudo-second Soul Foundry. Also, this can imprint artifact lands.
Soul Foundry: Any of the big creatures can get ludicrous with this pretty quickly, but let’s not dismiss the value of a late-game Eternal Witness imprint, or an early-game Phyrexian Revoker.
Blade Splicer: A boring choice, but it curves adequately with Trostani and can serve as some early defense. As much as this deck reviles cards that provide instant value, I need to run some.
Containment Priest: The nontoken clause is a godsend. All those nerds who laughed at your Séance are going to be sorry when their almost inarguably better reanimation spells get whomped. That said, this card’s Legacy applications are making me afraid of looking at its price, so if I were to ever actually build this deck irl, I might just toss in a Scrabbling Claws and be done with it.
Duplicant: Been playing Duplicant for years and only just noticed it can’t target tokens. There’s really nothing to discuss here about the card in this deck: I just wanted to share.
Grand Abolisher: Objectively wrong, I think, but letting me pay all but 1 life to Processor and getting it back that turn in peace may be worth it. Plus, this is one of those cards that wasn’t intended as such but becomes ludicrously Phyrexian in the context of this deck. Like, spiky and dehumanized with flavor text both ruthless and righteous. You don’t know if he has any skin left, but there's no doubt he's out of mercy.
Karn, Silver Golem: Also objectively wrong, I think, especially since I’m not running Mycosynth Lattice, but I just keep imagining situations where I get to Populate a Soul Foundry. Also, for anyone concerned about thematic consistency, worth remembering that Karn was under Phyrexian influence for much of the Scars block!
Lodestone Golem: Conflicted feelings. On one hand, this is mostly a minor nuisance in EDH and not the game-winner that it is in Vintage, and on top of that, my artifact count isn’t quite high enough that he won’t sting me as well as others. On the other hand, copying him a whole bunch of times can effectively shut out a number of decks and is one of only a handful of ways G/W can fight on the stack. On top of that, Foundry/Portal can sneak non-artifact creatures in without needing to deal with Lodestone’s tax.
Scarecrone: Interested to hear opinions about this one. Might not be running enough artifact creatures to justify it, though that it can sac itself (as can copies of it) means it won’t be entirely useless.
Soul of New Phyrexia: If I said this wasn’t here mostly for flavor reasons, I’d be a dirty liar. That said, a big, non-legendary creature that both Foundry and Portal can duplicate who can also stop huge blowout wipes isn’t bad. Remember that Survival of the Fittest can get it in the GY if you need to use its ability in a pinch.
Séance: The main reason for this entry is to remind readers that Séance does NOT give the creature tokens haste. Also, I saw some guy on Gatherer talk about how saccing the token will keep the creature from being exiled which is…very not true. Immensely not true. Still, it’s a fun card with obvious Trostani interactions, and can make blockers if you’re really in trouble.
Planeswalkers: Well, if Doubling Season is already a non-negotiable card here, why not? Elspeth is included not for her token production but for her Darksteel Forge effect with Season out. Garruk’s every ability synergizes with this list, weirdly. Should probably toss in Ugin, possibly Karn.
Possible Inclusions:
Minion Reflector: Had this in originally, and the haste ended up being very relevant one game, but that even tokens copied by Trostani die at the end of the turn is a bit of a turn-off. Plus, you have to actually cast non-token creatures for this to trigger, which, ew.
Rings of Brighthearth: The more I think about this card, the less sense it makes that I haven’t included it. Not only can it double the tokens being produced, it can very quickly become ludicrous if it’s copied itself. My main objection is that it’s a card with no immediate impact and requires other cards to be of any use, but given some of the cards I’ve chosen to not just play but center the whole damn deck around, this is cartoonish hypocrisy on my part. Oh, and it makes an infinite combo with Basalt Monolith.
Lightning Greaves: That Trostani’s ability has an activation cost and isn’t even that vital to the deck’s success make the haste and protection kind of unappealing. I’d mostly include it for giant Processor tokens and Steel Hellkite.
Sun Titan: Just like a big solid good guy neither sexy nor thematically appropriate enough to make the cut in a deck with about 200 cards I’d want to include. Probably should find a place for him, though.
Vorinclex, Voice of Hunger: This deck is pretty good at churning out early mana, but usually plateaus at around 12, even as its draw engines offer more than 12 mana’s worth of spells. Again, Phyrexia.
Just Better Stuff, Generally: As much as I embrace the goofy limitations of self-imposed (and tinfoily) theme, I also kinda like the idea of not just instantly losing as soon as someone shows up with a single blue card. Given that this deck takes a good while to start kicking ass, maybe 3 board wipes, Beast Within, and Duplicant aren’t enough answers. Still, taking out fun cards to put in practical cards is my least favorite part of deck-building, so I’ll put this off as long as I can.
Conclusion: I don't know if Trostani is actually a Phyrexian agent. Well, I do know, but the answer isn't very fun. And yet, Phyrexian or not, this ludicrous, ill-conceived deck has, by complete accident, made a dystopia Yawgmoth could be proud of while still remaining true to its colors. After all, as the clones with second-hand names march from the ever-smoking factories, bearing identical scars the memories of which they must learn to doubt, it's not black's ruthlessness we see descending upon the world but the harmony of white and green, a harmony whose strands entwine so tightly not even blades could break it, for though blades can stop a voice, it is not a voice the simulacra bear: it is words, words of oneness and might, of glory and ends, and though these soldiers who know they are not themselves speak in different tones, in different tongues, they all speak the same words.
And they will speak them until the world shrieks in unison.
Observation: Within white/green, Selesnya is especially in-line with Phyrexian ideologies: a single consciousness unites the guild and seeks to make all life part of its plan.
Observation: Mechanically, the card most synergistic with Trostani, Selesnya’s Voice is nothing heart-warming or noble from her colors but the blood-fueled horror-engine that is Phyrexian Processor.
Ironclad Conclusion: Trostani is a Phyrexian Sleeper Agent. Or, at least one of the dryads is. Or maybe they’re just infected with the oil. I dunno, guys. It’s a card game.
Q: If Selesnya has a hivemind consciousness, wouldn’t it notice if one of its highest ranking members was a traitor?
A: Not if a fervent devotion to Phyrexian assimilation was indistinguishable to Mat-Selesnya from a fervent devotion to Selesnya assimilation!
Q: How did Phyrexian influence reach Ravnica?
A: Planeswalkers, probably! Vraska? She might have been to Mirrodin! Why not! If all else fails, blame Bolas.
Q: Does this match up with the timeline of New Phyrexia’s emergence?
A: It might, but even if it doesn’t, WotC bombs the Magic timeline from orbit every five years or so.
Q: Would it not be subtler—richer—if the cause of Trostani’s affinity with Phyrexia was merely a thematic one, warning of the ruthlessness laying hidden in any utopian impulse, instead of a cheap plot twist that renders a compelling, almost realistic fanatic into a cackling one?
A: nerd.
So, with Trostani’s true allegiances proven without a doubt, let’s get into the deck: Phyrexian-themed artifact token G/W!
The basic goal is to abuse Trostani’s ability with token copies of nontoken creatures, or use the tried-and-true Phyrexian Processor to make get giant creatures and tons of life. Since G/W can’t consistently grab Soul Foundry (and because I want more of that delicious, twisted-metal-and-scorched-flesh Phyrexian flavor), Prototype Portal and an artifact subtheme are included, which gets especially fun/dumb when you’re start making copies of Portal itself. It’s a slow, grindy, fragile process, but the board states can become so ludicrous that it’s worth it. Of course, my favorite EDH moment was a guy getting infinite turns with Magistrate’s Scepter and 17+ artifacts, so maybe you feel differently about the whole thing.
You might like this deck if:
-You loved that guy’s elephant deck but also want to sometimes win.
-You like artifacts, tokens, artifact tokens, artifact tokens that make other artifact tokens, artifact tokens that make other artifact tokens that make other—
-You own a Séance.
-You want to draw minimal hate once your commanders are revealed.
-Using tutors is the sort of stressful decision-making that you’d prefer remain in the realm of insurance-buying and restaurant-ordering.
-You don’t mind admitting you need a calculator sometimes.
You might not like this deck if:
-You feel like any deck running Mana Crypt should be at least kinda good.
-You want your win to come instantly and from nowhere and not upon the backs of glaringly obvious threats over the course of a dozen turns.
-Your favorite thing about EDH is its decks’ consistency.
-Your playgroup is heavy on hate of virtually any sort: artifact, ETB effects, graveyard, etc.
-You can’t shut off that voice in the back of your head whispering “this would be so much easier if I had access to blue.”
-You’re very concerned about authorial intent in the MtG lore universe.
1 Basalt Monolith
1 Clock of Omens
1 Expedition Map
1 Grim Monolith
1 Loreseeker's Stone
1 Mana Vault
1 Mana Crypt
1 Mimic Vat
1 Mindslaver
1 Mirrorworks
1 Phyrexian Furnace
1 Phyrexian Processor
1 Prototype Portal
1 Sculpting Steel
1 Selesnya Signet
1 Sol Ring
1 Soul Foundry
1 Spine of Ish Sah
1 Thran Dynamo
1 Voltaic Key
Creatures
1 Acidic Slime
1 Blade Splicer
1 Containment Priest
1 Duplicant
1 Elvish Visionary
1 Eternal Witness
1 Grand Abolisher
1 Karn, Silver Golem
1 Lodestone Golem
1 Phyrexian Revoker
1 Reclamation Sage
1 Sakura-Tribe Elder
1 Scarecrone
1 Solemn Simulacrum
1 Soul of New Phyrexia
1 Steel Hellkite
1 Thragtusk
1 Titania, Protector of Argoth
1 Voice of Resurgence
1 Wall of Blossoms
1 Wall of Omens
1 Wurmcoil Engine
1 Aura Shards
1 Doubling Season
1 Greater Good
1 Luminarch Ascension
1 Parallel Lives
1 Survival of the Fittest
1 Sylvan Library
1 Séance
Instants
1 Beast Within
1 Enlightened Tutor
Planeswalkers
1 Elspeth, Knight-Errant
1 Garruk, Primal Hunter
Sorceries
1 Explosive Vegetation
1 Farseek
1 Hour of Reckoning
1 Idyllic Tutor
1 Nature's Lore
1 Phyrexian Rebirth
1 Regrowth
1 Skyshroud Claim
1 Three Visits
1 Wrath of God
Lands
1 Ancient Den
1 Arid Mesa
1 Cavern of Souls
1 Darksteel Citadel
1 Flooded Strand
7 Forest
1 Gaea's Cradle
1 Grove of the Guardian
1 High Market
1 Marsh Flats
1 Miren, the Moaning Well
1 Mistveil Plains
1 Phyrexia's Core
6 Plains
1 Savannah
1 Selesnya Sanctuary
1 Sunpetal Grove
1 Temple Garden
1 Tree of Tales
1 Verdant Catacombs
1 Windswept Heath
1 Wooded Bastion
1 Wooded Foothills
Q: You don’t run a lot of token generators.
A: That is true. Generally, most reasonably priced token generators will yield you, at most, a Centaur Healer each turn from Trostani’s ability. It’s much more fun to turn creature cards into tokens. That has the added bonus of keeping them from crumpling under Ugin’s -0.
Q: Some of the flavor on these cards seems off for this deck…
A: Imagination! For instance, Luminarch Ascension is typically a good-guy victory of pretty angels swooping down to save the innocent, but the good guys aren’t the only ones with angels.
Q: Wouldn’t Arcum Dagsson do this but much better?
A: Yes.
Q: Did you really include Karn for no other reason than to let Trostani copy your noncreature artifacts?
A: Yes.
Q: How about Daretti—
A: Yes.
Individual Card Choices:
Clock of Omens: I keep taking this out and putting it back in. Haven’t drawn it in testing yet, so there’s that. Has the chance to be phenomenal, but really only when this wildly fragile machine is already running.
Loreseeker’s Stone: Kinda unsure about this one. I’m mostly keeping it here for a worst-case-scenario situation: if I’ve got no hand and no board, this can help. Plus, with all the totally fair artifact ramp here, it’s easy-ish to dump my hand. There are better draw engines available in these colors, but this is one of a handful that only takes one card to work. Considering switching for Dreamstone Hedron (for its superior artifact copying functionality) or Harmonize (which I should probably be running anyway).
Mindslaver: Slaverlock with Prototype Portal is typically worse than Slaverlock with Academy Ruins, but these are the colors I’ve chosen. Plus, in some beautiful fantasy scenarios where all of your opponents are all probably running Daghatar, Voltaic Key and/or Clock of Omens can let you Slaverlock the whole table.
Phyrexian Furnace: Here for flavor! You get bonus points for insisting your friends keep careful track of their graveyard order because you run this.
Prototype Portal: The ideal, hilarious, long-term imprint choice here is Sculpting Steel, but if you’re in even the slightest bit of danger, artifact ramp or a creature might be your best bet. The list runs enough artifact creatures that this can also function as a pseudo-second Soul Foundry. Also, this can imprint artifact lands.
Soul Foundry: Any of the big creatures can get ludicrous with this pretty quickly, but let’s not dismiss the value of a late-game Eternal Witness imprint, or an early-game Phyrexian Revoker.
Blade Splicer: A boring choice, but it curves adequately with Trostani and can serve as some early defense. As much as this deck reviles cards that provide instant value, I need to run some.
Containment Priest: The nontoken clause is a godsend. All those nerds who laughed at your Séance are going to be sorry when their almost inarguably better reanimation spells get whomped. That said, this card’s Legacy applications are making me afraid of looking at its price, so if I were to ever actually build this deck irl, I might just toss in a Scrabbling Claws and be done with it.
Duplicant: Been playing Duplicant for years and only just noticed it can’t target tokens. There’s really nothing to discuss here about the card in this deck: I just wanted to share.
Grand Abolisher: Objectively wrong, I think, but letting me pay all but 1 life to Processor and getting it back that turn in peace may be worth it. Plus, this is one of those cards that wasn’t intended as such but becomes ludicrously Phyrexian in the context of this deck. Like, spiky and dehumanized with flavor text both ruthless and righteous. You don’t know if he has any skin left, but there's no doubt he's out of mercy.
Karn, Silver Golem: Also objectively wrong, I think, especially since I’m not running Mycosynth Lattice, but I just keep imagining situations where I get to Populate a Soul Foundry. Also, for anyone concerned about thematic consistency, worth remembering that Karn was under Phyrexian influence for much of the Scars block!
Lodestone Golem: Conflicted feelings. On one hand, this is mostly a minor nuisance in EDH and not the game-winner that it is in Vintage, and on top of that, my artifact count isn’t quite high enough that he won’t sting me as well as others. On the other hand, copying him a whole bunch of times can effectively shut out a number of decks and is one of only a handful of ways G/W can fight on the stack. On top of that, Foundry/Portal can sneak non-artifact creatures in without needing to deal with Lodestone’s tax.
Scarecrone: Interested to hear opinions about this one. Might not be running enough artifact creatures to justify it, though that it can sac itself (as can copies of it) means it won’t be entirely useless.
Soul of New Phyrexia: If I said this wasn’t here mostly for flavor reasons, I’d be a dirty liar. That said, a big, non-legendary creature that both Foundry and Portal can duplicate who can also stop huge blowout wipes isn’t bad. Remember that Survival of the Fittest can get it in the GY if you need to use its ability in a pinch.
Séance: The main reason for this entry is to remind readers that Séance does NOT give the creature tokens haste. Also, I saw some guy on Gatherer talk about how saccing the token will keep the creature from being exiled which is…very not true. Immensely not true. Still, it’s a fun card with obvious Trostani interactions, and can make blockers if you’re really in trouble.
Planeswalkers: Well, if Doubling Season is already a non-negotiable card here, why not? Elspeth is included not for her token production but for her Darksteel Forge effect with Season out. Garruk’s every ability synergizes with this list, weirdly. Should probably toss in Ugin, possibly Karn.
Possible Inclusions:
Minion Reflector: Had this in originally, and the haste ended up being very relevant one game, but that even tokens copied by Trostani die at the end of the turn is a bit of a turn-off. Plus, you have to actually cast non-token creatures for this to trigger, which, ew.
Rings of Brighthearth: The more I think about this card, the less sense it makes that I haven’t included it. Not only can it double the tokens being produced, it can very quickly become ludicrous if it’s copied itself. My main objection is that it’s a card with no immediate impact and requires other cards to be of any use, but given some of the cards I’ve chosen to not just play but center the whole damn deck around, this is cartoonish hypocrisy on my part. Oh, and it makes an infinite combo with Basalt Monolith.
Lightning Greaves: That Trostani’s ability has an activation cost and isn’t even that vital to the deck’s success make the haste and protection kind of unappealing. I’d mostly include it for giant Processor tokens and Steel Hellkite.
Sun Titan: Just like a big solid good guy neither sexy nor thematically appropriate enough to make the cut in a deck with about 200 cards I’d want to include. Probably should find a place for him, though.
Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite: This isn’t a Rhys the Redeemed deck that can really abuse this, but she can mess with some midgame combat math and is a delightful hate card for the aforementioned Rhys the Redeemed deck. Also, Phyrexian theme.
Vorinclex, Voice of Hunger: This deck is pretty good at churning out early mana, but usually plateaus at around 12, even as its draw engines offer more than 12 mana’s worth of spells. Again, Phyrexia.
Just Better Stuff, Generally: As much as I embrace the goofy limitations of self-imposed (and tinfoily) theme, I also kinda like the idea of not just instantly losing as soon as someone shows up with a single blue card. Given that this deck takes a good while to start kicking ass, maybe 3 board wipes, Beast Within, and Duplicant aren’t enough answers. Still, taking out fun cards to put in practical cards is my least favorite part of deck-building, so I’ll put this off as long as I can.
Conclusion: I don't know if Trostani is actually a Phyrexian agent. Well, I do know, but the answer isn't very fun. And yet, Phyrexian or not, this ludicrous, ill-conceived deck has, by complete accident, made a dystopia Yawgmoth could be proud of while still remaining true to its colors. After all, as the clones with second-hand names march from the ever-smoking factories, bearing identical scars the memories of which they must learn to doubt, it's not black's ruthlessness we see descending upon the world but the harmony of white and green, a harmony whose strands entwine so tightly not even blades could break it, for though blades can stop a voice, it is not a voice the simulacra bear: it is words, words of oneness and might, of glory and ends, and though these soldiers who know they are not themselves speak in different tones, in different tongues, they all speak the same words.
And they will speak them until the world shrieks in unison.
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