Red players are the most volatile romp n' stomp habanero chili boomshakalaka slam dunk descendants from Spartan warriors while drinking blood of roman gladiators based players out there. If you don't play RRedR you can never call yourself a real man. Red players can kill anyone they want! They cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this red player who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the red player killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a red player totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.
WHY PLAY ASHLING?
There plenty of manly generals out there. Adamaro has biceps on his biceps, Zo-Zu eats a bowl of nails for breakfast (without any milk), Krenko is fast and furious without ordering overnight parts from Japan, Heartless Hidetsugu has more ladies than Wilt Chamberlain, Kiki-Jiki read all the Harry Potter books in one night, and Godo saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico. So why play Ashling? 'CAUSE I'M TELLING YOU, THAT'S WHY! NOW FINISH YOUR CORN FLAKES.
I had to take a shower after seeing that list because it is HOT. Do even see all damage it does? True story, I had to bring in Steven Hawking to calculate all the damage this does. Why so much burn? Did Ashton Kutcher just punk Justin Timberlake again? I don't need a reason, I'm playing RRRRRRRRRR, that's my reason.
YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY?
With this deck you need a solid game plan. The first step is to walk to the table with lats flared, to assert your dominance. Pull your tribal-tattoed deckbox from one of your many popped collars and slam it on the table, maintaining eye contact with all opponents simultaneously. Now that your alpha status is displayed, draw your hand without shuffling. Nobody will dare question the randomness of your deck because you've been grunting black metal vocals constantly. From here you have two choices:
1) Kill everyone at once
2) Kill each player one by one because it's funny
It doesn't matter, really. All that matters is that your creatine/protein I.V. is pumping constantly to keep you anabolic. Think of your mana rocks like protein. They are the building blocks of muscle (burn spells, duh). Mana doublers (Gauntlets) are like dat dere celltech. They give your muscles even more power and put everyone else in the danger zone. Once you are in the zone of danger it's time to throw some haymakers. Demonfire? Kaboom. Comet Storm? Kaboom. Repercussion + Blasphemous Act? Kaboom, baby. Oh, what's that, you had Fire Servant + Furnace of Rath in play? WTF? (warning: loud noises, not that you care cause you are a strong Red mage who don't need no man)
Remember, you are a firetruck driven by apes that shoots atomic bombs that explode into drumsets that play dubstep.
Kekule_the_Magician on the inclusion of Devouring Light in a TurboFog Deck:
Quote from Kekule_the_Magician »
As a person who typically plays very creature oriented decks, I HATE when an opponent has Devouring Light. It is infuriating to finally get through with a creature on to have it exiled.
I've come to hate White in general now because it gets everything to the point where it is almost unfair. White has boardwipes (Wrath of God, End Hostilities), targeted exile and removal (Devouring Light, Banishing Light, Last Breath), lifegain spells, lifelink, low cost/high power enchantments and auras, flying creatures; my goodness what don't they get!?
Great list! I randomly threw an ashling list together just for shats n' giggles to show my playgroup you can play mono red- and i love it! Ive yet to begin to tune mine, but ill edit and playtest some more and let yah know what my 'allstar' cards have been.
For now, its been Basalisk Collar. Or just in general things that protect ashling from blowing herself up and things that give her lifelink.
Great list! I randomly threw an ashling list together just for shats n' giggles to show my playgroup you can play mono red- and i love it! Ive yet to begin to tune mine, but ill edit and playtest some more and let yah know what my 'allstar' cards have been.
For now, its been Basalisk Collar. Or just in general things that protect ashling from blowing herself up and things that give her lifelink.
Good if you're playing the "Ashling will live through all explosions" kind of deck, which I think is too prone to getting tucked away into your deck. That being said, if you're going for a Ashling + Goblin toolbox kind of deck with Kobolds and what not, then it could get really silly really fast.
Red players are the most volatile romp n' stomp habanero chili boomshakalaka slam dunk descendants from Spartan warriors while drinking blood of roman gladiators based players out there. If you don't play RRedR you can never call yourself a real man. Red players can kill anyone they want! They cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this red player who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the red player killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a red player totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.
WHY PLAY ASHLING?
There plenty of manly generals out there. Adamaro has biceps on his biceps, Zo-Zu eats a bowl of nails for breakfast (without any milk), Krenko is fast and furious without ordering overnight parts from Japan, Heartless Hidetsugu has more ladies than Wilt Chamberlain, Kiki-Jiki read all the Harry Potter books in one night, and Godo saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico. So why play Ashling? 'CAUSE I'M TELLING YOU, THAT'S WHY! NOW FINISH YOUR CORN FLAKES.
THE MONEY MAKER
1 Ashling the Pilgrim
Creature (2)
1 Solemn Simulacrum
1 Fire Servant
Artifact (27)
1 Mana Crypt
1 Relic of Progenitus
1 Sensei's Divining Top
1 Voltaic Key
1 Expedition Map
1 Wayfarer's Bauble
1 Sol Ring
1 Grim Monolith
1 Mana Vault
1 Everflowing Chalice
1 Sunstone
1 Extraplanar Lens
1 Coalition Relic
1 Tower of Fortunes
1 Unwinding Clock
1 Otherworld Atlas
1 Thran Dynamo
1 Gauntlet of Might
1 Gauntlet of Power
1 Pyromancer's Gauntlet
1 Gilded Lotus
1 Mind's Eye
1 Angelheart Vial
1 Memory Jar
1 Staff of Nin
1 Caged Sun
1 Dreamstone Hedron
1 Braid of Fire
1 Mana Flare
1 Sulfuric Vortex
1 Repercussion
1 Furnace of Rath
1 Manabarbs
1 Burning Earth
1 Stranglehold
Sorcery (17)
1 Shattering Spree
1 Vandalblast
1 Earthquake
1 Molten Disaster
1 Bonfire of the Damned
1 Demonfire
1 Banefire
1 Devil's Play
1 Red Sun's Zenith
1 Rolling Thunder
1 Slagstorm
1 Acidic Soil
1 Flamebreak
1 Mana Geyser
1 Blasphemous Act
1 Wheel of Fortune
1 Reforge the Soul
1 Fault Line
1 Price of Progress
1 Comet Storm
1 Reverberate
1 Fork
Planeswalker (2)
1 Koth of the Hammer
1 Chandra, the Firebrand
Land (38)
32 Snow-Covered Mountain
1 Valakut, the Molten Pinnacle
1 Terrain Generator
1 Boseiju, Who Shelters All
1 Buried Ruin
1 Vesuva
1 Thespian's Stage
I had to take a shower after seeing that list because it is HOT. Do even see all damage it does? True story, I had to bring in Steven Hawking to calculate all the damage this does. Why so much burn? Did Ashton Kutcher just punk Justin Timberlake again? I don't need a reason, I'm playing RRRRRRRRRR, that's my reason.
YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY?
With this deck you need a solid game plan. The first step is to walk to the table with lats flared, to assert your dominance. Pull your tribal-tattoed deckbox from one of your many popped collars and slam it on the table, maintaining eye contact with all opponents simultaneously. Now that your alpha status is displayed, draw your hand without shuffling. Nobody will dare question the randomness of your deck because you've been grunting black metal vocals constantly. From here you have two choices:
1) Kill everyone at once
2) Kill each player one by one because it's funny
It doesn't matter, really. All that matters is that your creatine/protein I.V. is pumping constantly to keep you anabolic. Think of your mana rocks like protein. They are the building blocks of muscle (burn spells, duh). Mana doublers (Gauntlets) are like dat dere celltech. They give your muscles even more power and put everyone else in the danger zone. Once you are in the zone of danger it's time to throw some haymakers. Demonfire? Kaboom. Comet Storm? Kaboom. Repercussion + Blasphemous Act? Kaboom, baby. Oh, what's that, you had Fire Servant + Furnace of Rath in play? WTF? (warning: loud noises, not that you care cause you are a strong Red mage who don't need no man)
Remember, you are a firetruck driven by apes that shoots atomic bombs that explode into drumsets that play dubstep.
YRLR
+100 to you sir.
UBRBLACK ROSE COMMANDERUBR
WURGBTrades - Looking for ABU Duals, Fetches, Ect. Have Liliana otV, Snapcaster Mages, Chrod of Calling, Alters!WURGB
Commander
Omnath, Locus of Mana
GWBUR Genju of The Realms RUBWG
I feel like this primer is in the Danger Zone!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SY8h2vp5Xis
For now, its been Basalisk Collar. Or just in general things that protect ashling from blowing herself up and things that give her lifelink.
Mimeoplasm Midrange, CHAINER CHAINER HIGH VOLTAGE
Rafiq of the Astral Slide, 67land.dec Child of Alara, Gisela <3 Sunforger
TRADE!?WUBRGMy Pauper Cube
Sek'Kuar, Deathkeeper, Phage the Uncastable, Azusa Lost but Stompy, Crosis Combo Breaker, All-In-Skullbriar, Rafiq/Jenara ETB army, Hazezon Swarm, Glissa Voltron!, Jarad Zombie Tribal, Zedruu Pillowfort, Reaper King Artifact Shenanagains
Hilarious Primer. You and Gaka should team up.
Neat idea. He is like a better Gamble, but I would have to test if it's worth it just for Fire Servant.
O man that looks fun w/ Ashling
Haha that's because I copy/pasted a quote from realultimatepower.
Also, love Archer. Cant wait for the new ones.
GWUBAtraxa, Praetor's Voice PrimerGWUB
GWURoon Bant Blink WhateverGWU
BRGLord Windgrace LandsBRG
Great read, though. Bravo, sir.
EDH:
G[cEDH] Selvala, Heart of the StormG
URW[cEDH] Narset, the Last AirmericanURW
GWUSt. Jenara, the ArchangelGWU
UBGrimgrin, Chaos MarineUB
GOmnath, Mana BaronG
URWNarset, Justice League AmericaURW
GWUBAtraxa, Countess of CountersGWUB
GWUEstrid, Enbantress PrimeGWU
RRRAshling, the PilgrimRRR
UUUThadda Adel, AcquisitorUUU
Multiplayer Decks- Memnarch - Animar, Soul of Elements - Zur, the Enchanter - Atraxa, Praetors' Voice - Food Chain Tazri - Teysa Karlov
Modern BUMill and Bant Spirits.
Thank you Xenphire for the signature!
EDH
GBSISTERS OF STONE RAMPBG
UWRRUHAN, All-AMERICAN LOOTERRWU
1RSLOBAD, COMBO TINKERERR1
GUWBRFLICKER KINGRBWUG
TheScalpelexis Trades
Neheb
Marath
Yidris
Sharuum
Yidris
Good if you're playing the "Ashling will live through all explosions" kind of deck, which I think is too prone to getting tucked away into your deck. That being said, if you're going for a Ashling + Goblin toolbox kind of deck with Kobolds and what not, then it could get really silly really fast.
RRRAshling, the PilgrimRRR
UUUThadda Adel, AcquisitorUUU
I could see dumping the Buddha for some of dat crevasses