[b]alright, if wolfood can bring back his favorite of his stories... I suppose I will too... regarding my stories.... does this mean Ill start writing again? no.... but it means there is hope..
This one is Making Magic Realistic.... there was another part, but I dont think Ill ever see that again[/b]
The Basis of the Game
Both players start at equal life, which, in itself, is not very realistic. Not all humans are born equal. In fact, some humans are born a month or two early. These "Primis" who get an early start on life, must have some kind of advantage over the regular people. Shouldn't Primis start at more than twenty life? Should they have twenty-five life? And what about cripples, or the mentally challenged. I am not saying I have anything against them, just that the general public does, and that they should be starting with less life because of that. Then there is racism. Many ethnicities will come across racism sometime in there life, and you would think that that racism would give them less of a chance in life. How can you get into a college if the college administrators are being racist? You can't, so they are taking away some of your lifepoints. How about the people who live in New Jersey, do your really think people in New Jersey have as much of a chance at life as say someone living in New Hampshire?
There are, however, exceptions to these rules. Talk to any Chinese person. There is a 90% chance that person is smarter than you. Now, the Chinese are a minority in the place where magic was created (America), and therfore, this is one minority that should get a bonus for being a minority in playing magic. There bonus doesn't even need to be higher lifepoints. Maybe they get to start with 8 or 9 cards in there hand (rather than 7) or start the game with a land already in play. You could even consider giving people of different ethnicities certain disadvantages or advantages for playing certain colors. Like, maybe a black person, playing black, would get to start with one creature from there deck already in there graveyard. White people playing white could start the game with a 1/1 white soldier token in play already.. If that person is even more white (albino, yes, I am talking about wolfwood) then they could perhaps start with two 1/1 white soldier tokens already in play. Indians playing red could start with one burn card (of there choice) already in there hand. This could make the game not only more intricate, but much more offensive.
The Phases
Some Magic (the Gathering) players do not deserve all the steps they do have. Autists should pick one phase at the beginning of the game, and stick with it throughout the game. Mentally challenged people on the other hand, should only be able to draw untill the end of there 6th turn. The Chinese should probably get to draw 2 cards per turn, and white people, well, they should probably have 2 of everything or else they will start complaining.
Color Representations
Black
There is already racism in the game of magic. Some black (african american?) creatures have the abilitiy to "destroy target creature". This may or may not be saying that young black males are involved in murders. Another black ability is the ability to not be blocked by creatures that aren't artifact, or black. This ability is called Fear. Does this mean that the magic playing population should be afraid of black people?
Green
Green is the color of farmers. I say this because one of green's abilities is to be able to pull land out of your deck. There are sometimes Wierd Harvests that allow you to pull up creatures. Green also is the best color at destroying artifacts. Most farmers, however, do not like destoying artifacts. In fact, many farmers work with artifacts such as tractors, and plows.
Red
Red would most likely be the color of the hispanic. it is a violent color, that is accustomed to heat. The main message behind red is, don't mess with me, or Ill set your ass on fire. Red could also be considered the color of druggies, as they are always lighting up. Is Wizards of the Coast calling hispanics potheads? You be the judge.
White
White is the color of the middle class white American. For the most part, they are stupid, and disliked by me.(thats right, I'm self hating) For the most part, they try to control everything. Many people think it is blue that tries to control everything. They are wrong. Blue is just smarter than you, so it does control everything. White only tries to.
Blue
Blue would be most assosciated with asians. Because Asians are smart. Any asian could tell you that my last sentence was not in fact a sentence, but a sentence fragment. Unless you are asian, you most likely thought it was an actual sentence. This is how blue controls things. By being smarter than you. They control all knowledge, and therefore, control almost everything. Some people think blue represents the jewish. This is because those people are rednecks, and believe in the New World Order, and the five jewish bankers. They are most definatly not blue.
Artifact
The last "color" is artifact. I am not going to say anything about artifacts because I am so sick of them.[/b]
Lol that is awsome Eci you should try to find Part 2.
Private Mod Note
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Nyarlathotep must all things be told
for he is the messenger between the spheres
and the traveler between the realms of the living and the dead.
He shall summon forth the ancient ones
and wake them from their deathly slumber
then shall the elder signs be shattered. Trade Thread
Okay, you wanted it... you wouldnt stop hounding me.... plus Its my favorite thing ive written........ so here it is..... in full, all 3 parts of the zombies story.... .... .....
Zombies are dead. They are not alive as the American Heritage Dictionary says a zombie is "A supernatural power or spell that accoding to voodoo belief can enter into and reanimate a corpse" The key word her is corpse. The American Heritage Dictionary defines corpse as :A dead body,: I personally define the word dead as not alive. This means the popular candy "Poprocks" are dead as they are most definatly not living. However, ideas cannot be dead. This is contradicted by the phrase "Punk (rock) is dead," becuase punk rock, being an idea, cannot be dead. Also, Elvis cannot be dead. Elvis was never real, and is not a thing, rather an idea, therfore he is alive... sort of.... The 50's, being a period of time, and not a thing you can hold in your hand, cannot be dead. The 50's are still alive and kickin' Disco however, is dead because I think it looks dumb. Disco balls on the other hand are cool, therfore still alive, but in a comatose.
What does this have to do with zombies? A whole lot because it (sort of) proves that zombies, like disco, are dead. This means zombies cannot be alive. People are alive. Because opposites attract (magnets 101). Unlike magnets, people are alive, so the opposite of magnets must be alive. This makes people question if the opposite of a magnet is a human, but this is wrong. Humans opposites are zombies. Magnets are actually opposites of themself, in that magnets have both a southern and a northern charge. Everything has a magnetic charge, so everything is a magnet.This must mean everything is dead. Everything is not dead unless we are zombies. I personally do not have an urge to eat brains so I cannot be a zombie. This must mean magnets are not real, and that magnets must be alive as something that is not real is only an idea. This means magnets are not dead because ideas are always alive. If magnets are alive, then that means humans cannot be there opposites. Zombies could be opposite of magnets, but they are not. NOw, for zombies to be real you would think you would have to be able to see them. Have you ever seen a real zombie? No, you havent. This doesn't mean they aren't real. How often do you see Pluto? You hardly ever see pluto, but science has proven it's existance. Then everything you can't see eists (in concept). Name anything....
See, it exists... in concept.... Now I will try.... ZOMBIES!.... wow, they exist...
So now, I'm supposed to be explaining where babies come from, but first I need to explain the concept of babies. By definition, a baby is an :Infant or young child of any sex," Children are directly contrasted by adults, who are the opposite of babies. Human adults therrfore are the opposites of zombie babies. Does this mean that human adults are attracted to zombie babies? No. You see, there are other variables. Math tells us that the opposite of 1 is negative one. This means that the opposite of one human would be one negative human. What exactly is a negative human?
Based on current relation status, I must believe that I am dead center in this number line of sorts. This puts me at zero's spot as zero has no opposite. Based on relations at my school (where pretty much everyone is a retarded zombie), zombie boys are generally atracted to zombie girls, and regular human type boys are generally atracted to regular human type girls. This means the number line must go like this
Zombie Girl ----- Human Boy----- Me ------ Human Girl----- Zombie Boy
or some other assortment of that such.
What does this have to do with anything? Generally it has nothing to do with anything. You see, zombies live on another spectrum than regular type humans. And zombies cannot die. Why would zombies be able to die? They are already dead. Once in a while however, an accident happens.
Part 2----------------------------------------------------
So, we have Gregory, a well-to-do zombie on his way to see his niece. Today is the day of her funeral. What a joyous day for Gregory it is, as he strolls to the morgue he wonders,"What will my new niece be like? Will she be a brainless voodoo zombie, or will she be a nazi chemical zombie? I JUST CAN"T WAIT!"
In such a hurry, our friend Gregory goes through the "good" part of town. Now, you don't want to mess around with the good kids. They are such a wrong crowd to get yourself messed up in, but gregory was just trying to get to the morgue as fast as he could. As he crosses the railroad tracks into the good side of town, he spots his classmate little Belinda Rotface. Up untill a few weeks ago Ms. Rotface was a perfect little zombie. The kind of zombie that aced all her zombie tests in zombie school. But lately she had fallen in with the "good" crowd. As it was, Gregory had always had a crush on Belinda Rotface, and today, as he was feeling downright bucky, he had the gumption to go talk to her. "Hey Belinda!" Gregory yells.Belinda looks at the kid and laughs. "What are you doing here Belinda?"
"It's none of your business kid, get back to the bad part of town where you belong,"
"I can handle it here Belinda!"
Well, as it was, things happened, and Gregory, trying to impress Belinda, snorted a bit of pepto bismal. The two of them hooked up, and over the next few weeks, Gregory got into the bigger antidotes, you know, stuff like penacilin. Gregory's family didn't know what to do about it. His dad, being the proud father that he was, didn't want people to find out about Gregory's problem, so he didn't say anything about it to anyone. His mother just tried to act as if nothing was wrong. Gregory did not care for any of his zombie families feelings whatsoever. Also his niece was completly paralyzed, and that somehow had to do with him not being at the morgue on time. Over time, Gregory quit doing regular zombie things like contaminating the town's water supply, or just regualar brain eating. All he ever wanted to do anymore was vaccinate himself.
This epidemic of zombies taking anidotes is on the rise. Pepto Bismal is a gateway antidote. There have been many great documents by many great people on the problems with antidotes. This will not be one of those documents. Zombies taking antidotes is good for the world, and bad for the world at the same time. At all times there is a certain "balance". This balance is best noted in masterpieces such as the "yin yang". Where one part counteracts the other part. When the balance is off, you get something evil, like Hitler, or disco. Good however, comes from all evil, to rebalance everything. Hitler's rise taught us how to use nuclear power... sort of. Disco brought us the disco ball. There is good in all evil, it is not easy to find all the time.
Certain antidotes may birth a zombie. As I have earlier described, everything has an opposite. The opposite of death is birth. Some people question where you are before you are born. Some people say that is the miracle of birth in that two beings create one being, making three beings in total, but what about asexual births? How about budding? That is right, that must mean that everything that is to be born is waiting somewhere, or, being dead somewhere. You are in a endless cycle of dying, being dead, being born, living, and then dying again. Everytime you die, you become a zombie. Everytime zombie you is born, you become a human. This shows why the numbers don't work with magnets. Humans, in all actuality, are zombies, and zombies in all actuality are humans. The only thing seperating the two is how dead the being is. There are actually many different degrees of death, and of life. In the story about Gregory, his niece is paralyzed completly. She is dead, yet barely. She is maybe 5% dead. This does not make her 95% alive. It makes her 95% not dead, in a state I call "Fetus". A fetus is neither dead nor alive, rather the edge of both. Fetus is what connects our worlds.
The problem with zombies taking antidote is that it will birth them to early. Zombies live rather differently than humans. They are born of the earth, at an older age, and grow backwards, reverting to a fetus, whereas we grow from a fetus. This brings the cycle full circle. If a zombie births to early however, it is very unlikely for the birth to actually happen, or the human mother mothering the zombie to be birthed to survive the zombie's human birth. This causes major problems. If a zombie, in fetus form, is not born, it is strictly removed. That is right, the zombie will be removed from the cycle. That is the problem with antidotes, but the nuclear power to this Hitler is quite hard to find. Some will tell you that it rids life (and after[pre]life) of idiots, but that is incorrect. not all idiots die from doing antidotes. Anyway, the silver lining here is that when a zombie is removed from the cycle it becomes part of the earth, and zombies work as quite a good fertilizer. The wierd thing is that you would not assume zombies to be fertile, as they are rotting. I don't know for sure why this is wrong, but it is. Zombies are somehow very fertile, I guess.
Part 3--------------------------------------You Were Wrong...
Hello, and welcome to part three of this three part conclusion on sex, and zombies. Part one was great, and had great reviews. Part two on the other hand fell quite short, it even had me believing it was really bad. I, like most of you, was wrong. Part two was the best part of the trilogy. I'm sure you are sitting there thinking,"But Chris, how can you say that, part 2 lacked most of the flair, the ZEST that part 1 had" To that I say,"NAY!" Part two proves part one to be even more true. Was part one great? Yes. Did part 2 blow? Most definatly. This proves that everything in existance must have an opposite. Do ideas have opposites? No. Magnets are ideas, and magnets opposites are themself, ideas do not have opposites. Are numbers ideas or things? The opposite of 1 is -1, numbers must be things that can be proven real. What about zeros? Any competent math teacher will fret over you telling them the opposite of zero is negative zero. Zero does not have an opposite, but general concensus says zero is a number. Zero is not a number, as it is in all reality a concept created by humans. Zero is the opposite of itself. This means that zero, like magnets, is attracted to itself. How can you be attracted to yourself? Attraction to ones self is the worst type of incest. That is right, the psuedo-number zero is incest in the worst of ways.
Some things are more than one opposite. The opposite of a white chair is a black hole. Not a black hole like in outer space, but a hole that happens to be black. The opposite of a white lump is also a black hole. Black holes are opposites for many things. It is in this way that black holes (like in outer space) have so many opposites. Black holes attract all opposites, and crush them to miniscule sizes. The opposite of a black hole is everything, but the term black hole is just an idea. Ideas are not things, so how are black holes real? The actual black hole is not a black hole, but only represented by the icon of a black hole. A hole that is black however, is an actual thing of a black hole, and not just an idea represented by the term black hole. It is in this way that a black hole (the thing) is the opposite of a black hole (the idea) as one is a thing and one is an idea. Ideas and things are opposites of each other. This means that black holes are opposites of black holes. A black hole in this way is attracted to itself, therfore would destroy itself. Everything in existance is in some way attracted to a black hole, so black holes should destroy existance, yet they do not. It is because of this I have come to the conclusion that no one actually exists. We are all just an idea, maybe a representation of something real, but do not in actuality exist even on the smallest plane of existance. The reason we can be ideas is that if everything we know is just a small idea, then maybe black holes (like outer space) don't actually exist, but only the very concept of there being a power that could crush everything to that miniscule of a scale exists. Nothing you actually see is real, but that doesnt mean anything is real at all. We could just be a thought thought centuries ago, except that time doesnt exist, it is only an idea of something that did exist. As it is however, we ourselves have made up existance, and may have created the very concept of existance, bringing ourself, as an idea, to life. This means we are a constant state of our own thinking. It is in this way that we created ourselves and go on creating ourselves. We believe that we exist, so the idea is there to support us, but in reality it is nothing more than a whim. We may exist in someone's head as an idea of theirs, but it would be a vast idea, and based on our knowledge of anything this idea would have to be held in a computer rather than someone's mind. As the thing creating us wouldn't make such a complex world out of creatures that were not like himself or herself, it is my opinion that we are not someone else's idea, rather our own. We just keep growing off of our own thoughts, and are who we are, which is what we think we are to be. We believe we are real therefore we are real.
althought that was friggen hilarious and sort of made sense (yes im on medication and so are jon and jake and sue and oh shut the hell up already... anyways)
. Zombies could be opposite of magnets, but they are not. NOw, for zombies to be real you would think you would have to be able to see them. Have you ever seen a real zombie? No, you havent. This doesn't mean they aren't real. How often do you see Pluto? You hardly ever see pluto, but science has proven it's existance. Then everything you can't see eists (in concept). Name anything....
if you say zombies dont really exist in real life you are absolutely 100% incorrect
apparently you have never been to Haiti
people pay voodoo wizards to do this
capture a man/woman/child drug the person until they are legally dead
bury them to make it seems realistic
go dig them up within a day
gouge out their eyes and roll them into the back of their heads
break their arms
and shatter their layrnx
making effectively a zombie with no way to kill himself that would suck in my opinion as you are albino and probably not planning on leaving your comfort zone any time soon i dont expecet to see you as a zombie any day now
farewell
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Asking people to remove quotes in their signatures is tyranny! If I can't say something just because someone's feelings are hurt then no one would ever be able to say anything! Political correctness is stupid.
actually I know about the voodoo doctors who do that however I have never been to Haiti. I am surprised that they never came up while I was writing this, however they did not.... meh', but of course I do not expect this to hold any value whatsoever, so i dont think it matters how correct I was
Yea I thought that was quite interesting. They were interviewing all the horror authors/directors and such on something I was watching and one of them, Wes Craven?? I dont think so...but anyway, said that he went to a country, and told the story how they did that. I was amazed.
Really glad to see all 3 parts of the zombie stories here though. I love reading them everytime.
This one is Making Magic Realistic.... there was another part, but I dont think Ill ever see that again[/b]
The Basis of the Game
Both players start at equal life, which, in itself, is not very realistic. Not all humans are born equal. In fact, some humans are born a month or two early. These "Primis" who get an early start on life, must have some kind of advantage over the regular people. Shouldn't Primis start at more than twenty life? Should they have twenty-five life? And what about cripples, or the mentally challenged. I am not saying I have anything against them, just that the general public does, and that they should be starting with less life because of that. Then there is racism. Many ethnicities will come across racism sometime in there life, and you would think that that racism would give them less of a chance in life. How can you get into a college if the college administrators are being racist? You can't, so they are taking away some of your lifepoints. How about the people who live in New Jersey, do your really think people in New Jersey have as much of a chance at life as say someone living in New Hampshire?
There are, however, exceptions to these rules. Talk to any Chinese person. There is a 90% chance that person is smarter than you. Now, the Chinese are a minority in the place where magic was created (America), and therfore, this is one minority that should get a bonus for being a minority in playing magic. There bonus doesn't even need to be higher lifepoints. Maybe they get to start with 8 or 9 cards in there hand (rather than 7) or start the game with a land already in play. You could even consider giving people of different ethnicities certain disadvantages or advantages for playing certain colors. Like, maybe a black person, playing black, would get to start with one creature from there deck already in there graveyard. White people playing white could start the game with a 1/1 white soldier token in play already.. If that person is even more white (albino, yes, I am talking about wolfwood) then they could perhaps start with two 1/1 white soldier tokens already in play. Indians playing red could start with one burn card (of there choice) already in there hand. This could make the game not only more intricate, but much more offensive.
The Phases
Some Magic (the Gathering) players do not deserve all the steps they do have. Autists should pick one phase at the beginning of the game, and stick with it throughout the game. Mentally challenged people on the other hand, should only be able to draw untill the end of there 6th turn. The Chinese should probably get to draw 2 cards per turn, and white people, well, they should probably have 2 of everything or else they will start complaining.
Color Representations
Black
There is already racism in the game of magic. Some black (african american?) creatures have the abilitiy to "destroy target creature". This may or may not be saying that young black males are involved in murders. Another black ability is the ability to not be blocked by creatures that aren't artifact, or black. This ability is called Fear. Does this mean that the magic playing population should be afraid of black people?
Green
Green is the color of farmers. I say this because one of green's abilities is to be able to pull land out of your deck. There are sometimes Wierd Harvests that allow you to pull up creatures. Green also is the best color at destroying artifacts. Most farmers, however, do not like destoying artifacts. In fact, many farmers work with artifacts such as tractors, and plows.
Red
Red would most likely be the color of the hispanic. it is a violent color, that is accustomed to heat. The main message behind red is, don't mess with me, or Ill set your ass on fire. Red could also be considered the color of druggies, as they are always lighting up. Is Wizards of the Coast calling hispanics potheads? You be the judge.
White
White is the color of the middle class white American. For the most part, they are stupid, and disliked by me.(thats right, I'm self hating) For the most part, they try to control everything. Many people think it is blue that tries to control everything. They are wrong. Blue is just smarter than you, so it does control everything. White only tries to.
Blue
Blue would be most assosciated with asians. Because Asians are smart. Any asian could tell you that my last sentence was not in fact a sentence, but a sentence fragment. Unless you are asian, you most likely thought it was an actual sentence. This is how blue controls things. By being smarter than you. They control all knowledge, and therefore, control almost everything. Some people think blue represents the jewish. This is because those people are rednecks, and believe in the New World Order, and the five jewish bankers. They are most definatly not blue.
Artifact
The last "color" is artifact. I am not going to say anything about artifacts because I am so sick of them.[/b]
for he is the messenger between the spheres
and the traveler between the realms of the living and the dead.
He shall summon forth the ancient ones
and wake them from their deathly slumber
then shall the elder signs be shattered.
Trade Thread
By kingcobweb and Goblinboy.
Official Elitist of [thread=40859][RBS][/thread]
..... ..... I will, but Im gonna post the 3 of those in one thread, (probably this one actually) along with part 2 of this probably
Id say bring it back. That was one of my favorites.
Legacy - Full English Breakfast
Vintage - Dragon, Cerebral Assasin, Oath
Zombies are dead. They are not alive as the American Heritage Dictionary says a zombie is "A supernatural power or spell that accoding to voodoo belief can enter into and reanimate a corpse" The key word her is corpse. The American Heritage Dictionary defines corpse as :A dead body,: I personally define the word dead as not alive. This means the popular candy "Poprocks" are dead as they are most definatly not living. However, ideas cannot be dead. This is contradicted by the phrase "Punk (rock) is dead," becuase punk rock, being an idea, cannot be dead. Also, Elvis cannot be dead. Elvis was never real, and is not a thing, rather an idea, therfore he is alive... sort of.... The 50's, being a period of time, and not a thing you can hold in your hand, cannot be dead. The 50's are still alive and kickin' Disco however, is dead because I think it looks dumb. Disco balls on the other hand are cool, therfore still alive, but in a comatose.
What does this have to do with zombies? A whole lot because it (sort of) proves that zombies, like disco, are dead. This means zombies cannot be alive. People are alive. Because opposites attract (magnets 101). Unlike magnets, people are alive, so the opposite of magnets must be alive. This makes people question if the opposite of a magnet is a human, but this is wrong. Humans opposites are zombies. Magnets are actually opposites of themself, in that magnets have both a southern and a northern charge. Everything has a magnetic charge, so everything is a magnet.This must mean everything is dead. Everything is not dead unless we are zombies. I personally do not have an urge to eat brains so I cannot be a zombie. This must mean magnets are not real, and that magnets must be alive as something that is not real is only an idea. This means magnets are not dead because ideas are always alive. If magnets are alive, then that means humans cannot be there opposites. Zombies could be opposite of magnets, but they are not. NOw, for zombies to be real you would think you would have to be able to see them. Have you ever seen a real zombie? No, you havent. This doesn't mean they aren't real. How often do you see Pluto? You hardly ever see pluto, but science has proven it's existance. Then everything you can't see eists (in concept). Name anything....
See, it exists... in concept.... Now I will try.... ZOMBIES!.... wow, they exist...
So now, I'm supposed to be explaining where babies come from, but first I need to explain the concept of babies. By definition, a baby is an :Infant or young child of any sex," Children are directly contrasted by adults, who are the opposite of babies. Human adults therrfore are the opposites of zombie babies. Does this mean that human adults are attracted to zombie babies? No. You see, there are other variables. Math tells us that the opposite of 1 is negative one. This means that the opposite of one human would be one negative human. What exactly is a negative human?
Based on current relation status, I must believe that I am dead center in this number line of sorts. This puts me at zero's spot as zero has no opposite. Based on relations at my school (where pretty much everyone is a retarded zombie), zombie boys are generally atracted to zombie girls, and regular human type boys are generally atracted to regular human type girls. This means the number line must go like this
Zombie Girl ----- Human Boy----- Me ------ Human Girl----- Zombie Boy
or some other assortment of that such.
What does this have to do with anything? Generally it has nothing to do with anything. You see, zombies live on another spectrum than regular type humans. And zombies cannot die. Why would zombies be able to die? They are already dead. Once in a while however, an accident happens.
Part 2----------------------------------------------------
Prologue
-----------------------------------------------------------
So, we have Gregory, a well-to-do zombie on his way to see his niece. Today is the day of her funeral. What a joyous day for Gregory it is, as he strolls to the morgue he wonders,"What will my new niece be like? Will she be a brainless voodoo zombie, or will she be a nazi chemical zombie? I JUST CAN"T WAIT!"
In such a hurry, our friend Gregory goes through the "good" part of town. Now, you don't want to mess around with the good kids. They are such a wrong crowd to get yourself messed up in, but gregory was just trying to get to the morgue as fast as he could. As he crosses the railroad tracks into the good side of town, he spots his classmate little Belinda Rotface. Up untill a few weeks ago Ms. Rotface was a perfect little zombie. The kind of zombie that aced all her zombie tests in zombie school. But lately she had fallen in with the "good" crowd. As it was, Gregory had always had a crush on Belinda Rotface, and today, as he was feeling downright bucky, he had the gumption to go talk to her. "Hey Belinda!" Gregory yells.Belinda looks at the kid and laughs. "What are you doing here Belinda?"
"It's none of your business kid, get back to the bad part of town where you belong,"
"I can handle it here Belinda!"
Well, as it was, things happened, and Gregory, trying to impress Belinda, snorted a bit of pepto bismal. The two of them hooked up, and over the next few weeks, Gregory got into the bigger antidotes, you know, stuff like penacilin. Gregory's family didn't know what to do about it. His dad, being the proud father that he was, didn't want people to find out about Gregory's problem, so he didn't say anything about it to anyone. His mother just tried to act as if nothing was wrong. Gregory did not care for any of his zombie families feelings whatsoever. Also his niece was completly paralyzed, and that somehow had to do with him not being at the morgue on time. Over time, Gregory quit doing regular zombie things like contaminating the town's water supply, or just regualar brain eating. All he ever wanted to do anymore was vaccinate himself.
---------------------------------------------------------------
This epidemic of zombies taking anidotes is on the rise. Pepto Bismal is a gateway antidote. There have been many great documents by many great people on the problems with antidotes. This will not be one of those documents. Zombies taking antidotes is good for the world, and bad for the world at the same time. At all times there is a certain "balance". This balance is best noted in masterpieces such as the "yin yang". Where one part counteracts the other part. When the balance is off, you get something evil, like Hitler, or disco. Good however, comes from all evil, to rebalance everything. Hitler's rise taught us how to use nuclear power... sort of. Disco brought us the disco ball. There is good in all evil, it is not easy to find all the time.
Certain antidotes may birth a zombie. As I have earlier described, everything has an opposite. The opposite of death is birth. Some people question where you are before you are born. Some people say that is the miracle of birth in that two beings create one being, making three beings in total, but what about asexual births? How about budding? That is right, that must mean that everything that is to be born is waiting somewhere, or, being dead somewhere. You are in a endless cycle of dying, being dead, being born, living, and then dying again. Everytime you die, you become a zombie. Everytime zombie you is born, you become a human. This shows why the numbers don't work with magnets. Humans, in all actuality, are zombies, and zombies in all actuality are humans. The only thing seperating the two is how dead the being is. There are actually many different degrees of death, and of life. In the story about Gregory, his niece is paralyzed completly. She is dead, yet barely. She is maybe 5% dead. This does not make her 95% alive. It makes her 95% not dead, in a state I call "Fetus". A fetus is neither dead nor alive, rather the edge of both. Fetus is what connects our worlds.
The problem with zombies taking antidote is that it will birth them to early. Zombies live rather differently than humans. They are born of the earth, at an older age, and grow backwards, reverting to a fetus, whereas we grow from a fetus. This brings the cycle full circle. If a zombie births to early however, it is very unlikely for the birth to actually happen, or the human mother mothering the zombie to be birthed to survive the zombie's human birth. This causes major problems. If a zombie, in fetus form, is not born, it is strictly removed. That is right, the zombie will be removed from the cycle. That is the problem with antidotes, but the nuclear power to this Hitler is quite hard to find. Some will tell you that it rids life (and after[pre]life) of idiots, but that is incorrect. not all idiots die from doing antidotes. Anyway, the silver lining here is that when a zombie is removed from the cycle it becomes part of the earth, and zombies work as quite a good fertilizer. The wierd thing is that you would not assume zombies to be fertile, as they are rotting. I don't know for sure why this is wrong, but it is. Zombies are somehow very fertile, I guess.
Part 3--------------------------------------You Were Wrong...
Hello, and welcome to part three of this three part conclusion on sex, and zombies. Part one was great, and had great reviews. Part two on the other hand fell quite short, it even had me believing it was really bad. I, like most of you, was wrong. Part two was the best part of the trilogy. I'm sure you are sitting there thinking,"But Chris, how can you say that, part 2 lacked most of the flair, the ZEST that part 1 had" To that I say,"NAY!" Part two proves part one to be even more true. Was part one great? Yes. Did part 2 blow? Most definatly. This proves that everything in existance must have an opposite. Do ideas have opposites? No. Magnets are ideas, and magnets opposites are themself, ideas do not have opposites. Are numbers ideas or things? The opposite of 1 is -1, numbers must be things that can be proven real. What about zeros? Any competent math teacher will fret over you telling them the opposite of zero is negative zero. Zero does not have an opposite, but general concensus says zero is a number. Zero is not a number, as it is in all reality a concept created by humans. Zero is the opposite of itself. This means that zero, like magnets, is attracted to itself. How can you be attracted to yourself? Attraction to ones self is the worst type of incest. That is right, the psuedo-number zero is incest in the worst of ways.
Some things are more than one opposite. The opposite of a white chair is a black hole. Not a black hole like in outer space, but a hole that happens to be black. The opposite of a white lump is also a black hole. Black holes are opposites for many things. It is in this way that black holes (like in outer space) have so many opposites. Black holes attract all opposites, and crush them to miniscule sizes. The opposite of a black hole is everything, but the term black hole is just an idea. Ideas are not things, so how are black holes real? The actual black hole is not a black hole, but only represented by the icon of a black hole. A hole that is black however, is an actual thing of a black hole, and not just an idea represented by the term black hole. It is in this way that a black hole (the thing) is the opposite of a black hole (the idea) as one is a thing and one is an idea. Ideas and things are opposites of each other. This means that black holes are opposites of black holes. A black hole in this way is attracted to itself, therfore would destroy itself. Everything in existance is in some way attracted to a black hole, so black holes should destroy existance, yet they do not. It is because of this I have come to the conclusion that no one actually exists. We are all just an idea, maybe a representation of something real, but do not in actuality exist even on the smallest plane of existance. The reason we can be ideas is that if everything we know is just a small idea, then maybe black holes (like outer space) don't actually exist, but only the very concept of there being a power that could crush everything to that miniscule of a scale exists. Nothing you actually see is real, but that doesnt mean anything is real at all. We could just be a thought thought centuries ago, except that time doesnt exist, it is only an idea of something that did exist. As it is however, we ourselves have made up existance, and may have created the very concept of existance, bringing ourself, as an idea, to life. This means we are a constant state of our own thinking. It is in this way that we created ourselves and go on creating ourselves. We believe that we exist, so the idea is there to support us, but in reality it is nothing more than a whim. We may exist in someone's head as an idea of theirs, but it would be a vast idea, and based on our knowledge of anything this idea would have to be held in a computer rather than someone's mind. As the thing creating us wouldn't make such a complex world out of creatures that were not like himself or herself, it is my opinion that we are not someone else's idea, rather our own. We just keep growing off of our own thoughts, and are who we are, which is what we think we are to be. We believe we are real therefore we are real.
. Zombies could be opposite of magnets, but they are not. NOw, for zombies to be real you would think you would have to be able to see them. Have you ever seen a real zombie? No, you havent. This doesn't mean they aren't real. How often do you see Pluto? You hardly ever see pluto, but science has proven it's existance. Then everything you can't see eists (in concept). Name anything....
if you say zombies dont really exist in real life you are absolutely 100% incorrect
apparently you have never been to Haiti
people pay voodoo wizards to do this
capture a man/woman/child drug the person until they are legally dead
bury them to make it seems realistic
go dig them up within a day
gouge out their eyes and roll them into the back of their heads
break their arms
and shatter their layrnx
making effectively a zombie with no way to kill himself that would suck in my opinion as you are albino and probably not planning on leaving your comfort zone any time soon i dont expecet to see you as a zombie any day now
farewell
Really glad to see all 3 parts of the zombie stories here though. I love reading them everytime.
:evil1: <<that guy is awsome
Legacy - Full English Breakfast
Vintage - Dragon, Cerebral Assasin, Oath