I have a small problem. I want to help someone who is an artist. She needs a laptop for online/computer artisty things.
The thing is I want to help, but;
1) I was young and I was told you don't give things/money to women (it's a cultural thing).
2) She needs it, but it's a general call for help (not specifically to me), in fact, I only know her from a friend of mine.
3) I only want to help to make myself feel better, and because I wish when I was young and I needed this one thing, that no one could give it to me. Now I have tons of disposable/throwaway income, I feel I can do something, but should I bother?
4) I have no idea how to do it (just send the money or send the laptop?)
Just curious what you would do. I can also, 'just ignore it.'
Do to, but as an investment with terms that favor the girl that needs the computer.
Plain giving is pointless and (were you giving me charity) sometimes insulting. Doing it this way gets you value and lets her know you value her work and expect her to accomplish something, instead of making it a pity handout.
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Commander Decks G MGC WB Teysa Tokens BR Wortsnort UG 23.5-No Edric URG Noncombo Animar GUB Damia Stax WBR Alesha Hatebear Recursion WBR Daddy Tariel UBR [Je]love-a Your Deck GWU Almost Critterless Enchantress WUB Sydri+Artifacts=WUB WURG Glint-Eye Combo
Don't do it, just ignore the request. If she can't afford the laptop on her own, she definitely shouldn't be 'crowdsourcing' her next computer. If she is any good at her 'artsy' stuff, she'd be able to afford the laptop on her own (Even making ~$12 an hour, which is the minimum a graphic artist should make even for a crappy sign shop, you can afford a graphic design-capable laptop pretty quickly if you save for it). It sounds like someone just wants it for their hobby. Because it's not just the laptop, she'll need all the software licenses, too.
Unfortunately, this crowdfunding BS for stuff people want (not need - no one needs a laptop) has taken off and emotional predators are preying on their friends to give them better vacations, study abroad, buy cars and bikes and all kinds of other BS.
There is zero reason to help this girl, especially if shes only a friend of a friend. The only women you should buy a laptop for are:
1) Your mother
2) Your wife
3) Your daughter
End of list.
Do to, but as an investment with terms that favor the girl that needs the computer.
Plain giving is pointless and (were you giving me charity) sometimes insulting. Doing it this way gets you value and lets her know you value her work and expect her to accomplish something, instead of making it a pity handout.
Giving money with strings attached to a friend is never a good idea. The effects of having it end poorly are much greater and much more likely than having it end well.
When giving money to friends and family, always give it freely with no strings attached. If they want to pay you back, let them do it in their own time, but anything else is a recipe for disaster. I've seen too many relationships damaged that way.
I meant that he actually do it as an investment contract, not "oh yah - pay me back later". Worst case, she can't fulfill and he doesn't care. Best case, money! And you helped someone start a career.
From my read, the girl isn't a friend as much as an acquaintance. But yeah - never give money to friends you expect back.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Commander Decks G MGC WB Teysa Tokens BR Wortsnort UG 23.5-No Edric URG Noncombo Animar GUB Damia Stax WBR Alesha Hatebear Recursion WBR Daddy Tariel UBR [Je]love-a Your Deck GWU Almost Critterless Enchantress WUB Sydri+Artifacts=WUB WURG Glint-Eye Combo
I meant that he actually do it as an investment contract, not "oh yah - pay me back later". Worst case, she can't fulfill and he doesn't care. Best case, money! And you helped someone start a career.
From my read, the girl isn't a friend as much as an acquaintance. But yeah - never give money to friends you expect back.
Ah, I see. Yeah, I doubt that would happen simply because I don't think this is actually a professional in need of a new laptop for work. I may have edited my response after you saw, but I ranted a little bit about people trying to crowdfund things they want. I seriously doubt this person is a real 'artsy' person and not just an amateur who fancies themselves a graphic designer.
Crowdfunding in general has just become a great way to try and extort money from friends (or coworkers).
I'd want more information. In artistic endeavors just having a computer often isn't enough. You need peripherals and expensive software as well. So try to get the whole story because it would suck to give money and have the whole need not be met. I'm a fan of the arts and give when I can but you need to decide if you are as well.
Great advice guys, I'm going to pass. It doesn't feel 'right' to me for reasons stated above by you guys. I think she'll be better off and me better off doing nothing.
(For purely selfish reasons I was thinking of doing it, so I'll pass.)
And good advice Jay13x; I just bought my wife and daughter a few presents (ebay) instead Charity is at home!
The thing is I want to help, but;
1) I was young and I was told you don't give things/money to women (it's a cultural thing).
2) She needs it, but it's a general call for help (not specifically to me), in fact, I only know her from a friend of mine.
3) I only want to help to make myself feel better, and because I wish when I was young and I needed this one thing, that no one could give it to me. Now I have tons of disposable/throwaway income, I feel I can do something, but should I bother?
4) I have no idea how to do it (just send the money or send the laptop?)
Just curious what you would do. I can also, 'just ignore it.'
Plain giving is pointless and (were you giving me charity) sometimes insulting. Doing it this way gets you value and lets her know you value her work and expect her to accomplish something, instead of making it a pity handout.
G MGC
WB Teysa Tokens
BR Wortsnort
UG 23.5-No Edric
URG Noncombo Animar
GUB Damia Stax
WBR Alesha Hatebear Recursion
WBR Daddy Tariel
UBR [Je]love-a Your Deck
GWU Almost Critterless Enchantress
WUB Sydri+Artifacts=WUB
WURG Glint-Eye Combo
Unfortunately, this crowdfunding BS for stuff people want (not need - no one needs a laptop) has taken off and emotional predators are preying on their friends to give them better vacations, study abroad, buy cars and bikes and all kinds of other BS.
There is zero reason to help this girl, especially if shes only a friend of a friend. The only women you should buy a laptop for are:
1) Your mother
2) Your wife
3) Your daughter
End of list.
Giving money with strings attached to a friend is never a good idea. The effects of having it end poorly are much greater and much more likely than having it end well.
When giving money to friends and family, always give it freely with no strings attached. If they want to pay you back, let them do it in their own time, but anything else is a recipe for disaster. I've seen too many relationships damaged that way.
TerribleBad at Magic since 1998.A Vorthos Guide to Magic Story | Twitter | Tumblr
[Primer] Krenko | Azor | Kess | Zacama | Kumena | Sram | The Ur-Dragon | Edgar Markov | Daretti | Marath
From my read, the girl isn't a friend as much as an acquaintance. But yeah - never give money to friends you expect back.
G MGC
WB Teysa Tokens
BR Wortsnort
UG 23.5-No Edric
URG Noncombo Animar
GUB Damia Stax
WBR Alesha Hatebear Recursion
WBR Daddy Tariel
UBR [Je]love-a Your Deck
GWU Almost Critterless Enchantress
WUB Sydri+Artifacts=WUB
WURG Glint-Eye Combo
Ah, I see. Yeah, I doubt that would happen simply because I don't think this is actually a professional in need of a new laptop for work. I may have edited my response after you saw, but I ranted a little bit about people trying to crowdfund things they want. I seriously doubt this person is a real 'artsy' person and not just an amateur who fancies themselves a graphic designer.
Crowdfunding in general has just become a great way to try and extort money from friends (or coworkers).
TerribleBad at Magic since 1998.A Vorthos Guide to Magic Story | Twitter | Tumblr
[Primer] Krenko | Azor | Kess | Zacama | Kumena | Sram | The Ur-Dragon | Edgar Markov | Daretti | Marath
If he's set on helping though, he should get it on paper. Better for him and keeps dignity in the picture.
G MGC
WB Teysa Tokens
BR Wortsnort
UG 23.5-No Edric
URG Noncombo Animar
GUB Damia Stax
WBR Alesha Hatebear Recursion
WBR Daddy Tariel
UBR [Je]love-a Your Deck
GWU Almost Critterless Enchantress
WUB Sydri+Artifacts=WUB
WURG Glint-Eye Combo
(For purely selfish reasons I was thinking of doing it, so I'll pass.)
And good advice Jay13x; I just bought my wife and daughter a few presents (ebay) instead Charity is at home!