The best advice I can give you is that when you find yourself getting angry or upset to a point that you cannot control it or your feelings impede rational thinking and you're just re/acting emotionally to explain to her that you are upset and cannot discuss the situation in the manner in which you desire, end the conversation as quickly and friendly as possible, and sleep on it, think things over and try to examine things from various perspectives then approach the issue when you feel that you can have a calm discussion with her. Just don't use silence as a form of control, it's abusive. It took me a long time to learn this and implement it, I hope it helps.
If she didn't want to mention in at the interview, she should've just said so while on the phone with me the night before, instead of making false promises.
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(Now some idiot is going to misinterpret that last sentence and be all, "well of course school is more important to her too!" That's not my point. She told me she didn't have a chance, but her chance was to mention it at the same time as she mentioned school. I never wanted her to not work and I never wanted her to not go to school.)
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My main issue is that am I ever going to see her again? Perhaps it's not an untrustworthiness based on her morals as a person. But how can I confidently shell out hundreds of dollars for a plane ticket for her if I know there's a possibility that she won't get on the plane because she just doesn't feel like it.
The same way she didn't feel like mentioning the vacation plans during the interview.
Snippet 1: I'm pretty sure she WANTED to bring it up, but didn't get a chance to. Snippet 2 addresses this. To an interviewer, scheduling around school is going to make you look more desirable as an employee, while scheduling around vacation will make you less desirable as an employee. There's a huge difference. I do phone interviews for my company, and if someone said they had a vacation planned after a week, I would find a reason to end the conversation (especially since the company I work for doesn't even allow people to take vacation days for a full 6 months after starting). It's a seriously bad thing to ask for vacation right after starting a new job. If this was her first interview (which it sounds like it likely was), she probably wasn't aware that asking for vacation was such a no-no when she promised you she would.
I personally don't think she did anything wrong. Technically she broke her promise, but really it wasn't fair for you to make her promise that in the first place. You seem pretty convinced that she did something horrible, though. Just make sure you read the third snippet I left in with your post. It's so important I'll even include it again in bold: But how can I confidently shell out hundreds of dollars for a plane ticket for her if I know there's a possibility that she won't get on the plane because she just doesn't feel like it.
If this is how you feel, I think it is in the best interests of everyone involved to chalk this up to a learning experience and part ways. If there's one thing that you need for a successful relationship (especially long distance!), it's trust.
I should probably mention that my wife and I dated long-distance (10 hour drive) for about 6 months while she was finishing up school and I was working.
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Snippet 1: I'm pretty sure she WANTED to bring it up, but didn't get a chance to. Snippet 2 addresses this. To an interviewer, scheduling around school is going to make you look more desirable as an employee, while scheduling around vacation will make you less desirable as an employee. There's a huge difference. I do phone interviews for my company, and if someone said they had a vacation planned after a week, I would find a reason to end the conversation (especially since the company I work for doesn't even allow people to take vacation days for a full 6 months after starting). It's a seriously bad thing to ask for vacation right after starting a new job. If this was her first interview (which it sounds like it likely was), she probably wasn't aware that asking for vacation was such a no-no when she promised you she would.
I personally don't think she did anything wrong. Technically she broke her promise, but really it wasn't fair for you to make her promise that in the first place. You seem pretty convinced that she did something horrible, though. Just make sure you read the third snippet I left in with your post. It's so important I'll even include it again in bold:
But how can I confidently shell out hundreds of dollars for a plane ticket for her if I know there's a possibility that she won't get on the plane because she just doesn't feel like it.
If this is how you feel, I think it is in the best interests of everyone involved to chalk this up to a learning experience and part ways. If there's one thing that you need for a successful relationship (especially long distance!), it's trust.
I should probably mention that my wife and I dated long-distance (10 hour drive) for about 6 months while she was finishing up school and I was working.