Twin Wolfe, whatever the hell that means, may have a place of residence. Or he may have a cave. Or a den. Or something. With a name like that, its really hard to tell. How can he be a twin by himself, anyways? Regardless, he gets a letter that reads:
To Whom It May Concern,
[You backstabbing little weasel/Valued applicant to our contest]: We [regret/are happy] to inform you that [nuclear missiles are locked onto your face/your application is accepted]! You should be expecting [eminent doom/a care package] sometime in the immediate future. We look forwards to [the greasy spot where you used to be/working with you].
[Die in a fire/thank you for your attention]
Then he'll hear an ominous 'ding dong'. Either its his doorbell, or the sound of a doorbell in his cave. Or whatever he lives in.
In his Lab/Penthouse Apartment, Twin hears a doorbell. Getting up from his calculations, he heads over to his dropbox, looks at the monitor, presses his intercom button, and says, "I can see you on the camera, and can hear you through the intercom next to my door. In a moment, a slot will open in the wall next to the door. Place whatever package that you have into the wall and step away. Failure to comply will result in expulsion due to concentrated explosives beneath your feet. Thank you, and have a nice day!" Twin presses a button next to the slot on his side of the wall and waits, watching the monitor.
"Registering... Voice identification confirmed. Live Tech would like to remind Mr. --" And suddenly the robotic voice becomes stilted, "Twin Wolf-ee," the voice returns to normal, "that damage to the Live Tech Brotherbot will result in immediate expulsion from the program as well as instant termination."
"Very well. Computer, deactivate entryway explosive clusters 1a, 2b, and 3c." A female computerized voice responds, "Acknowledged" "There, happy now? do you need to enter for me to receive the care package, or can you simply do as i say and place the package into the receptacle?"
The robotic voice responds, "Live Tech's Brotherbot is required for participation in the program. If you wish to continue the program, access to all regions of your life are needed."
"Alright, fine. If thats what is needed. But, I will need to scan you for any observation devices or explosives before I can let you in. And you will have to be sterilized as well."
Twin presses another button on the console near the intercom, opening one of the doors on the outside.
"Please enter through here for sterilization and scanning. Then I'll let you inside. Fair?"
"Well....that's a very ingenius design. repulsor lift technology just floating around willy nilly...Alright fine then, your sterile, I won't mind the observations, now just give me the care package, unless you ARE the care package?"
Turning away from the Eye, as he will call it from now on, Twin reactivates the explosive clusters outside his door, and closes everything up with a few keystrokes of his pocket keyboard.
"Very well, Eyebot. I have been trying to figure out the best marketing strategy for a new, er, energy drink i have made. I need to be able to get this product out to every store possible, and get the advertising going. My money may be able to buy the things I need, but I'm not an advertisement specialist. Is there anything anywhere in your vast programming that can help this situation?"
Twin walks over to one of his worktables, picking up a can of liquid, labled "CRAZE!". On the can, there is a picture of a person looking completly insane, chugging on a can that looks exactly the same as the one he is holding.
"Humph. If all you contribute to this project is criticism of my choose of art, your not going to be much help."
I never liked that drawing anyways, I was half asleep at the time.
"Well then, using you as I am supposec to, what would you suggest would get the point across that this is the best energy drink around, and the only one people should buy? And also, I have thought of using some of my funds to become the majority shareholder in a few choice compinies. Ones that are competitors, and ones that are the major suppliers are items of this sort. Any suggestions? I was thinking 'Redcow[1]', 'Creature[1]', 'Volt[1]', 'Hill Dew[1]', and a few others. The compinies I was thinking about were 'Dan's Club[1]', 'Hal-Mart[1]', 'JMart[1]', and maybe a few others. Any suggestions?"
"I have thought of doing that, but the time and money that it would take to deal with the slander lawsuits would take too much of my time, and I just don't feel like delaying this anymore than I already have."
"And why mustn't I worry about lawsuits? And I have thought about...doctoring their products, but I need to get access to their prodution facilities. Can you get into there inconspiously, and alter them for me? And if so, can you alter them in such a way as to only make the ones who buy it sick enough to where they won't drink it anymore, nothing truly serious?"
Then he'll hear an ominous 'ding dong'. Either its his doorbell, or the sound of a doorbell in his cave. Or whatever he lives in.
My helpdesk should you need me.
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showpost.php?p=5586155&postcount=2
Quinne, PW
"Registering... Voice identification confirmed. Live Tech would like to remind Mr. --" And suddenly the robotic voice becomes stilted, "Twin Wolf-ee," the voice returns to normal, "that damage to the Live Tech Brotherbot will result in immediate expulsion from the program as well as instant termination."
My helpdesk should you need me.
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showpost.php?p=5586155&postcount=2
Quinne, PW
My helpdesk should you need me.
Twin presses another button on the console near the intercom, opening one of the doors on the outside.
"Please enter through here for sterilization and scanning. Then I'll let you inside. Fair?"
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showpost.php?p=5586155&postcount=2
Quinne, PW
My helpdesk should you need me.
Turning away from the Eye, as he will call it from now on, Twin reactivates the explosive clusters outside his door, and closes everything up with a few keystrokes of his pocket keyboard.
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showpost.php?p=5586155&postcount=2
Quinne, PW
"The Brotherbot is the care package you have been waiting for."
My helpdesk should you need me.
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showpost.php?p=5586155&postcount=2
Quinne, PW
"What do you want help with? Brotherbots are fully equipped and licensed to help with a wide variety of schemes, plans, and all-around do-baddery."
My helpdesk should you need me.
Twin walks over to one of his worktables, picking up a can of liquid, labled "CRAZE!". On the can, there is a picture of a person looking completly insane, chugging on a can that looks exactly the same as the one he is holding.
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showpost.php?p=5586155&postcount=2
Quinne, PW
"Find a new artist."
My helpdesk should you need me.
I never liked that drawing anyways, I was half asleep at the time.
"Well then, using you as I am supposec to, what would you suggest would get the point across that this is the best energy drink around, and the only one people should buy? And also, I have thought of using some of my funds to become the majority shareholder in a few choice compinies. Ones that are competitors, and ones that are the major suppliers are items of this sort. Any suggestions? I was thinking 'Redcow[1]', 'Creature[1]', 'Volt[1]', 'Hill Dew[1]', and a few others. The compinies I was thinking about were 'Dan's Club[1]', 'Hal-Mart[1]', 'JMart[1]', and maybe a few others. Any suggestions?"
[1]Names changed due to copyrighted material.
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showpost.php?p=5586155&postcount=2
Quinne, PW
"A smear campaign would do the best for you. Simply telling the plublic that there's something wrong with the aforementioned products should do."
My helpdesk should you need me.
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showpost.php?p=5586155&postcount=2
Quinne, PW
"You need not pay attention for lawsuits. You may also wish to... Adulterate their formulas with concoctions of your own."
My helpdesk should you need me.
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showpost.php?p=5586155&postcount=2
Quinne, PW
"Brotherbots are here to assist your schemes, not enact them for you. I can aid your intrusion attempt, but not do it."
My helpdesk should you need me.
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showpost.php?p=5586155&postcount=2
Quinne, PW