I like this one. it sets the stage for Fiora's power struggle nicely, and introduces - or in Selvana's case, reintroduces - the major players to follow.
I'm assuming Ariana will get her ow card.
And now that Kaya's business is done and she's gotten her payment, is that the last we'll see of her in this story?
I like this one. it sets the stage for Fiora's power struggle nicely, and introduces - or in Selvana's case, reintroduces - the major players to follow.
I'm assuming Ariana will get her ow card.
And now that Kaya's business is done and she's gotten her payment, is that the last we'll see of her in this story?
I'm assuming the art beneath the card reveal is Adriana; she's in heavy armour and I'm pretty sure that's Brago's sword. I'd say an Adriana card is likely based on that art.
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A polite player might call my card choices "interesting." At my budget, "interesting" is the only option.
I don't have a lot of praise nor negative criticism for this story. It laid the groundwork for the coming conflict and hinted about the intrigue. Kaya is WB, as was speculated correctly. I'd probably give this story a C+.
I must say it is incredibly refreshing to read stories that are not about eldrazi (even though I liked their original concept) and not about the gatewatch.
This story was fine. I think it has some major issues, but I will address its upsides first.
Upsides:
1) The pacing of the story wasn't very stagnant. Every moment of characterization flowed relatively well with the story told from Adriana's perspective. The read was relatively easy and unimpeded, which is a good thing in my book.
2) Adriana, the main character of the story, was well-characterized. From this singular story I had a decent feeling of who she was and what she wanted for Paliano.
3) The basic idea of the plot was pretty decent, even though a bit of a cliche. Monarch dies, coup ensues, people revolt, new way of government. It is decent because it gives a more realistic feeling to a High Fantasy setting. Realism is almost always a good thing, because it makes the non-realistic elements of the story (like ghosts) more believable and natural.
Downsides:
1) Basically the characterization of every character that was not Adriana. We didn't see anything from Brago, Kaya looked extremely generic and written as a 'by-the-books cool anti-hero' and Marchesa, who had some potential, was barely scratched on the surface. I'm not going to comment on Selvala because she barely appeared at all. To me the greatest mistake of these was Brago's characterization, since we are told he is a tyrant, but that is not shown to us - we basically have to believe it. Maybe there were other older stories where that was shown from Conspiracy 1, but it is frankly inadmissible that we don't get anything from this story.
2) The way they handled the political intrigue in the story. I mentioned that the basic idea of the plot was good, despite being a cliche, but the execution was very poor. It basically felt like someone reading a list of checkmarks in a timeline. "Brago is murdered", "Marchesa takes the throne", "Adriana organizes a resistance", etc. Here I think the story would have greatly benefited from using different means to tell its tale. For instance we could have seen things as reports from the guard added to newspapers articles and similar, quite like the hanweir chronicle was developed. That is a way to show important and relevant events without having to burn through them in a single one-shot fast-paced story.
3) I didn't feel the stakes. Most of the story was "tell-don't-show", which means I don't see why the monarchy is bad and why people should jump over to the republic or what are the advantages of one over the other. Marchesa's plan seem to have been a very complicated and convoluted one, and since we only saw the final execution of it the story was left lacking. Basically it seemed very randomic that Marchesa was annointed as Queen, and even more so that Adriana got angry enough to try and make a popular revolution. I don't understand why the events that unfold are currently unfolding, and because of that I couldn't relate and dive deep with the characters and the story.
Would you like to read Commander stories? Check my latest stories, coming from Lorwyn and Innistrad: Ghoulcaller Gisa and Doran, The Siege Tower! If you like my writing, ask me to write something for your commander as well!
I'm so happy right now. Back to Fiora, my new favorite backwater plane, a new BW 'walker in Kaya and hints of Selvala's return! I love Selvala! Maybe they'll make her a powerhouse!
I would however like some strong male characters in addition to the female leads though...
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Wizards. listen. The Vorthos community will await the consequences of the Eldrazi Titans' deaths/sealing. We will keep the watch.
“The wind whispers, ‘come home,’ but I cannot.”
— Teferi
I'm posting this basically everywhere. Daretti is back! Joyous day!
Take a look at those mutton chops and around the waist where his wheelchair would be!
He's dressed differently likely because the Academy has been destroyed.
Nice catch, I would have said that seems a little far with the art but I just noticed the waist part of his chair and that a leg? is next to him in the art in the green/blue colors.
I would however like some strong male characters in addition to the female leads though...
Huh you are right no major guy characters yet...eh doesn't need to be any.
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“There are no weak Jews. I am descended from those who wrestle angels and kill giants. We were chosen by God. You were chosen by a pathetic little man who can't seem to grow a full mustache"
"You can tell how dumb someone is by how they use Mary Sue"
Something I liked about this story was how Adriana survived spitting in Marchesa's face. That there helps characterize Marchesa as cunning and ruthless but not petty.
I would however like some strong male characters in addition to the female leads though...
I know, right, I can't remember that last time I saw a story that had any significant male characters in it. Wizards is really perpetuating thousands of years of female centric storytelling in which men have almost always been thinly sketched plot devices or reductive stereotypes.
Wait... hold on... I'm being told that the remake of Ghostbusters did not rewrite history and we should probably be able to put up with a single half length side story in a popular card game that doesn't center on men. That can't be right.
My only major problem with this story is how abrupt Marchesa's victory is. New banners unfurling within, what, seconds of Brago being rekilled?
Adriana mention something about how it seems most of the nobles and such where in with Marchesa. I think at this point everything was already set up but Bragos death.
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“There are no weak Jews. I am descended from those who wrestle angels and kill giants. We were chosen by God. You were chosen by a pathetic little man who can't seem to grow a full mustache"
"You can tell how dumb someone is by how they use Mary Sue"
I would however like some strong male characters in addition to the female leads though...
I know, right, I can't remember that last time I saw a story that had any significant male characters in it. Wizards is really perpetuating thousands of years of female centric storytelling in which men have almost always been thinly sketched plot devices or reductive stereotypes.
Wait... hold on... I'm being told that the remake of Ghostbusters did not rewrite history and we should probably be able to put up with a single half length side story in a popular card game that doesn't center on men. That can't be right.
While I understand where your coming from and what your point is, I don't feel like my post deserved the sarcastic retort you gave it. My commentary was quite mild and expression as more of an afterthought. I understand that women have often received the short end of the storytelling stick but this doesn't mean I can't wish for a few delightful guy characters in addition to the wonderful female leads they have, nor does this mean I am necessarily ignorant that the story just begun. I'm patient, and have no problem with more women in the front and Center. I will not however be shamed for what I thought was a fair, and mild desire
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Wizards. listen. The Vorthos community will await the consequences of the Eldrazi Titans' deaths/sealing. We will keep the watch.
“The wind whispers, ‘come home,’ but I cannot.”
— Teferi
Good story today! I continue to enjoy Kaya's characterization - it's unusual to see an assassin so chill and down-to-earth. I couldn't help myself from picturing Adriana as Brienne of Tarth while I was reading and apparently I was right!
Also: I for one absolutely love the fact that all the major players so far seem to be women. Adriana, Kaya, Marchesa, and Selvala are all great characters.
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Xantcha, Phyrexian Reject
Jodah, Archmage Eternal
Tovolar, Howlpack Alpha
Pivlic, Orzhov Informant
Crixizix, Master Engineer
Feather, Boros Peacekeeper
Marisi Coilbreaker
O-Kagachi
Gix, Phyrexian Praetor
Karn, Father of Machines
Yawgmoth, Father of Machines
Serra, Mother of All Angels
Tevesh Szat, Doom of Fools
Leshrac the Nightwalker
Jeska, the Thrice-Touched
Elspeth Returned
Crucius the Mad
Taysir the Infinite
Urza's Head (Unglued!)
I hope Selvala and Marchessa end up having some kind of direct confrontation. I want to see Selvala actually get to swing that weapon she has in her original card,
Selvala, Explorer Returned
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Wizards. listen. The Vorthos community will await the consequences of the Eldrazi Titans' deaths/sealing. We will keep the watch.
“The wind whispers, ‘come home,’ but I cannot.”
— Teferi
I couldn't help myself from picturing Adriana as Brienne of Tarth while I was reading and apparently I was right!
Thought this as well and am upset I was right. It feels like they were trying to make that connection rather than a unique character.
Her character is more of a mix between Brienne of Tarth and Barristan Selmy, with a splash of Ned Stark. She does feel very "Game of Thrones", but as far as MTG characters go, that's pretty unique.
Adriana mention something about how it seems most of the nobles and such where in with Marchesa. I think at this point everything was already set up but Bragos death.
I agree. I think that, along with things like the servant girl throwing out the china, that this was a plan a long time in the making finally coming to fruition.
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Art is life itself.
I'm assuming Ariana will get her ow card.
And now that Kaya's business is done and she's gotten her payment, is that the last we'll see of her in this story?
Click the pic for more info.
I'm assuming the art beneath the card reveal is Adriana; she's in heavy armour and I'm pretty sure that's Brago's sword. I'd say an Adriana card is likely based on that art.
This story was fine. I think it has some major issues, but I will address its upsides first.
Upsides:
1) The pacing of the story wasn't very stagnant. Every moment of characterization flowed relatively well with the story told from Adriana's perspective. The read was relatively easy and unimpeded, which is a good thing in my book.
2) Adriana, the main character of the story, was well-characterized. From this singular story I had a decent feeling of who she was and what she wanted for Paliano.
3) The basic idea of the plot was pretty decent, even though a bit of a cliche. Monarch dies, coup ensues, people revolt, new way of government. It is decent because it gives a more realistic feeling to a High Fantasy setting. Realism is almost always a good thing, because it makes the non-realistic elements of the story (like ghosts) more believable and natural.
Downsides:
1) Basically the characterization of every character that was not Adriana. We didn't see anything from Brago, Kaya looked extremely generic and written as a 'by-the-books cool anti-hero' and Marchesa, who had some potential, was barely scratched on the surface. I'm not going to comment on Selvala because she barely appeared at all. To me the greatest mistake of these was Brago's characterization, since we are told he is a tyrant, but that is not shown to us - we basically have to believe it. Maybe there were other older stories where that was shown from Conspiracy 1, but it is frankly inadmissible that we don't get anything from this story.
2) The way they handled the political intrigue in the story. I mentioned that the basic idea of the plot was good, despite being a cliche, but the execution was very poor. It basically felt like someone reading a list of checkmarks in a timeline. "Brago is murdered", "Marchesa takes the throne", "Adriana organizes a resistance", etc. Here I think the story would have greatly benefited from using different means to tell its tale. For instance we could have seen things as reports from the guard added to newspapers articles and similar, quite like the hanweir chronicle was developed. That is a way to show important and relevant events without having to burn through them in a single one-shot fast-paced story.
3) I didn't feel the stakes. Most of the story was "tell-don't-show", which means I don't see why the monarchy is bad and why people should jump over to the republic or what are the advantages of one over the other. Marchesa's plan seem to have been a very complicated and convoluted one, and since we only saw the final execution of it the story was left lacking. Basically it seemed very randomic that Marchesa was annointed as Queen, and even more so that Adriana got angry enough to try and make a popular revolution. I don't understand why the events that unfold are currently unfolding, and because of that I couldn't relate and dive deep with the characters and the story.
I would give this story a C.
Read my other stories as well (some ongoing):
Reaper King (a horror story), Kaalia of the Vast (an origin story), Sequels for Innistrad (Alternative sequels for Inn), Grey Areas (Odric's fanfic), Royal Succession (goblins),The Tracker's Message (eldrazi on Innistrad) and Ugin and his Eye (the end of OGW).
Take a look at those mutton chops and around the waist where his wheelchair would be!
He's dressed differently likely because the Academy has been destroyed.
TerribleBad at Magic since 1998.A Vorthos Guide to Magic Story | Twitter | Tumblr
[Primer] Krenko | Azor | Kess | Zacama | Kumena | Sram | The Ur-Dragon | Edgar Markov | Daretti | Marath
I would however like some strong male characters in addition to the female leads though...
The Vorthos community will await the consequences of the Eldrazi Titans' deaths/sealing. We will keep the watch.
“The wind whispers, ‘come home,’ but I cannot.”
— Teferi
Nice catch, I would have said that seems a little far with the art but I just noticed the waist part of his chair and that a leg? is next to him in the art in the green/blue colors.
Huh you are right no major guy characters yet...eh doesn't need to be any.
"You can tell how dumb someone is by how they use Mary Sue"
TerribleBad at Magic since 1998.A Vorthos Guide to Magic Story | Twitter | Tumblr
[Primer] Krenko | Azor | Kess | Zacama | Kumena | Sram | The Ur-Dragon | Edgar Markov | Daretti | Marath
All hail the robot goblin pope!
I know, right, I can't remember that last time I saw a story that had any significant male characters in it. Wizards is really perpetuating thousands of years of female centric storytelling in which men have almost always been thinly sketched plot devices or reductive stereotypes.
Wait... hold on... I'm being told that the remake of Ghostbusters did not rewrite history and we should probably be able to put up with a single half length side story in a popular card game that doesn't center on men. That can't be right.
Adriana mention something about how it seems most of the nobles and such where in with Marchesa. I think at this point everything was already set up but Bragos death.
"You can tell how dumb someone is by how they use Mary Sue"
Nooooo.
While I understand where your coming from and what your point is, I don't feel like my post deserved the sarcastic retort you gave it. My commentary was quite mild and expression as more of an afterthought. I understand that women have often received the short end of the storytelling stick but this doesn't mean I can't wish for a few delightful guy characters in addition to the wonderful female leads they have, nor does this mean I am necessarily ignorant that the story just begun. I'm patient, and have no problem with more women in the front and Center. I will not however be shamed for what I thought was a fair, and mild desire
The Vorthos community will await the consequences of the Eldrazi Titans' deaths/sealing. We will keep the watch.
“The wind whispers, ‘come home,’ but I cannot.”
— Teferi
Good story today! I continue to enjoy Kaya's characterization - it's unusual to see an assassin so chill and down-to-earth. I couldn't help myself from picturing Adriana as Brienne of Tarth while I was reading and apparently I was right!
Also: I for one absolutely love the fact that all the major players so far seem to be women. Adriana, Kaya, Marchesa, and Selvala are all great characters.
Xantcha, Phyrexian Reject
Jodah, Archmage Eternal
Tovolar, Howlpack Alpha
Pivlic, Orzhov Informant
Crixizix, Master Engineer
Feather, Boros Peacekeeper
Marisi Coilbreaker
O-Kagachi
Gix, Phyrexian Praetor
Karn, Father of Machines
Yawgmoth, Father of Machines
Serra, Mother of All Angels
Tevesh Szat, Doom of Fools
Leshrac the Nightwalker
Jeska, the Thrice-Touched
Elspeth Returned
Crucius the Mad
Taysir the Infinite
Urza's Head (Unglued!)
I honestly didn't notice the strongly female character base, but do expect Daretti and others in the coming weeks.
Thought this as well and am upset I was right. It feels like they were trying to make that connection rather than a unique character.
Selvala, Explorer Returned
The Vorthos community will await the consequences of the Eldrazi Titans' deaths/sealing. We will keep the watch.
“The wind whispers, ‘come home,’ but I cannot.”
— Teferi
I like Adriana's character and see the similarities with Brienne from GoT but honestly they're very different.
I agree. I think that, along with things like the servant girl throwing out the china, that this was a plan a long time in the making finally coming to fruition.