"How can we wage war against ourselves? What happens when the Kami of our very souls rise against us? I answer simply: We cannot. We die. There can be no victory in this war." - Sensei Hisoka, Night of Souls' Betrayal
"Some say that time is cyclical and that history inevitably repeats. My will is my own. I won't bow to fate." - Volrath, Null Profusion
"Some have said there's no subtlety to destruction. You know what? They're dead." - Jaya Ballard, Inferno
"Do the innocent pay for the crimes of the guilty? Of course they do. That's the fate of the weak." - Nicol Bolas, Imp's Mischief
"I am confident that if anyone actually penetrates our facades, even the most perceptive would still be fundamentally unprepared for the truth of House Dimir." - Szadek, Glimpse the Unthinkable
Fury Sliver "A rift opened, and our arrows were abruptly stilled. To move was to push the world. But the sliver's claw still twitched, red wounds appeared in Thed's chest, and ribbons of blood hung in the air." —Adom Capashen, Benalish hero
Clinging Darkness There's an experience worse than blindness—it's the certainty that your vision is perfect and the horror that there's no world around you to see.
Goblin Gardener Years of attempts have brought the goblins no closer to growing a sausage tree.
Synapse Sliver - Species XR17 feeds upon the mental energies of its victims. This explains why the goblins remain unaffected. -Riptide Project researcher
Braids, Cabal Minion - "Home is where you can find a decent graveyard and strangers can disappear without awkward questions."
Blackmail - Even the most virtuous person is only one secret away from being owned by the Cabal.
Greed - "An advisor once asked the Western Paladin how much gold would be enough. "I have no need of fools who can imagine 'enough,'" he told the advisor's corpse."
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"Home is where you can find a decent graveyard and strangers can disappear without awkward questions."
Lava Axe - "Catch!"
Glorious Anthem - North and South meet and angels sing. heaven rejoices with a righteous ring.
- once heard, the battle song of an angel becomes part of the listener forever.
- every victory adds a new verse.
I'm surprised I haven't seen mention of core set Phyrexian Hulk: It doesn't think. It doesn't feel. It doesn't laugh or cry. All it does from dusk till dawn Is make the soldiers die. -Onean children's rhyme
XXXXXXX is like riding a pony, which probably doesn't sound dangerous, except that in this case the pony is 300 feet tall and covered in chainsaws, and to get on the pony you have to take an elevator with sixteen live cougars.
Can't for the life of me remember the card though.
That was Fusion Elemental. And everyone who's read my thread knows how I feel about those silly fake Flavor Texts that I'll never know why people find funny...:rolleyes:
I have many favorite flavor texts, but going with the vibe of this thread, I was reminded of Lightning Blast's, one of my earlier favorites: "Those who fear the darkness have never seen what the light can do." -Selenia, dark angel
Withdraw "We outnumber them! Charge! Charge! Hey, where'd you guys go? Retreat! Retreat!" Wild Mammoth "Sit. Heel! Down! HELP!" Flame Javelin ((hate the card love the flavor)) Gyara Spearhurler would have been renowned for her deadly accuracy, if it weren't for her deadly accuracy. Force of Nature "It blinked, and flower petals fell like tears. Harthar, sensing weakness, attacked—and his blood fell like petals." —Shesul Fass, faerie bard Prahv, Spires of Order Prahv, where much work is done to make sure nothing is accomplished.
thats all I can really think of off the top of my head.
Try and guess the card! My three favourites, numbered. #1I have seen the future. It does not include you. #2"Looks like we're completely outnumbered" "Lucky for us. I thought we'd be bored" #3Reuniting a world is not a gentle process.
Modern: GRB Jund BRG RBU Grixis Delver UBR Legacy: W Death & Taxes W GRB Punishing Jund BRG GUR Canadian Threshold RUG Commander: RUG Maelstrom Wanderer GUR
Ice Age Counterspell: "The duel was going badly for me, and Zur thought I was finished. He boasted that he would eat my soul-but all he ate were his words." -Gustha Ebbasdotter, Kjeldoran Royal Mage
Rashka the Slayer:"Rarely be the prey so haughty as to hunt the hunter." -Baron Sengir
Goblin Grenade: "I don't suppose we could teach them to throw the cursed things?' -Ivra Jursdotter
Martyred Rusalka: Rakdos cultists hanged her for sport in the township square. Her ghost now stands vigil at what has become known as the Tree of Weeping.
Fallen Angel (5th Edition): "Angels are simply extensions of truth upon the fabric of life-and there is far more dark than light." -Baron Sengir
Peish: "There will come a time when the voices of soil and seedling will sing only laments." Oracle en-Vec
Enchanted Evening: "In the reflection, she saw the rough shell of the world sloughing away, revealing the truth shining underneath."
Declaration of Naught: Every story, even a faerie tale, comes to an end.
Promo Wasteland: "I will show you fear in a handful of dust." — T. S. Eliot, "The Waste Land"
Phyrexian Tyranny: "He is Yawgmoth's reward to me. I shall kill him a hundred times a day." —Crovax, to Ertai"He is Yawgmoth's reward to me. I shall kill him a hundred times a day." —Crovax, to Ertai
Portal II Coercion: Human tenderness is simply weakness in a pretty package." -Tojira, swamp queen
XXXXXXX is like riding a pony, which probably doesn't sound dangerous, except that in this case the pony is 300 feet tall and covered in chainsaws, and to get on the pony you have to take an elevator with sixteen live cougars.
Can't for the life of me remember the card though.
This was flavor text generated by MTGSalvation for Fusion Elemental.
Barter in Blood - "In the game of conquest, who cares about the pawns if the king yet reigns?"
-Geth, keeper of the Vault
Disembowel - "We thought we found the victim's clothes lumped in the street. As it turned out, it was the victim, insides sucked out--just a sack of skin and robes."
-Agrus Kos
Cabal Ritual - "Each syllable chills your veins. Each word rattles your mind."
-Cabal Patriarch
Last Gasp - "Allow me a moment to catch your breath."
Second Thoughts - It suddenly dawned on Jorin that farming was quite a noble profession.
This was voted worst in its category due to how simple it is, but it always does it for me (yeah, I take most things too deeply). I don't think it's very popular, but just looking at my banner should show how much I love it:
Torch Drake Is alwyas one which gives me a goos laugh. "Drakes? Bah! Things that breathe don't interest me. It breathes fire, you say? Well, that's a different story!" —Zataz, Izzet clockwork artificer
That what most people who post something say.
It's not a surprise, theres thousands upon thousands of magic cards, it's not really that amazing no one has posted the one you find most amusing.
Barren Glory "The only perfect world is an empty world, with no one to sin or wage war."
-Tarran, Magus of the Disk
"Some say that time is cyclical and that history inevitably repeats. My will is my own. I won't bow to fate." - Volrath, Null Profusion
"Some have said there's no subtlety to destruction. You know what? They're dead." - Jaya Ballard, Inferno
"Do the innocent pay for the crimes of the guilty? Of course they do. That's the fate of the weak." - Nicol Bolas, Imp's Mischief
"Doom casts its own flickering shadow." - Scourge of Kher Ridges
"I am confident that if anyone actually penetrates our facades, even the most perceptive would still be fundamentally unprepared for the truth of House Dimir." - Szadek, Glimpse the Unthinkable
Also a big fan of the previously mentioned Sengir Vampire, Door to Nothingness, and Lord of the Undead.
UBDragonlord Silumgar WGKarametra, God of Harvests
BRUNekusar, the Mindrazer BGMazirek, Kraul Death Priest
URMelek, Izzet Paragon UGPrime Speaker Zegana
WUHanna, Ship's Navigator BWUSydri, Galvanic Genius
WUBRGSliver Queen RBBladewing the Risen
WBKarlov of the Ghost Council RGXenagos, God of Revels
GFreyalise, Llanowar's Fury RWAurelia, the Warleader
RIb Halfheart, Goblin Tactician BDrana, Liberator of Malakir
UAzami, Lady of Scrolls WNahiri, the Lithomancer
WBGDoran, the Siege Tower CEmrakul, the Promised End
"A rift opened, and our arrows were abruptly stilled. To move was to push the world. But the sliver's claw still twitched, red wounds appeared in Thed's chest, and ribbons of blood hung in the air." —Adom Capashen, Benalish hero
Clinging Darkness
There's an experience worse than blindness—it's the certainty that your vision is perfect and the horror that there's no world around you to see.
Goblin Gardener
Years of attempts have brought the goblins no closer to growing a sausage tree.
Wherever it looked, it saw destruction—the wake of its own gaze.
Word of Seizing
"Obey!"
EDIT:
And my ultimate favorite!
Braids, Cabal Minion - "Home is where you can find a decent graveyard and strangers can disappear without awkward questions."
Blackmail - Even the most virtuous person is only one secret away from being owned by the Cabal.
Greed - "An advisor once asked the Western Paladin how much gold would be enough. "I have no need of fools who can imagine 'enough,'" he told the advisor's corpse."
Glorious Anthem - North and South meet and angels sing. heaven rejoices with a righteous ring.
- once heard, the battle song of an angel becomes part of the listener forever.
- every victory adds a new verse.
It doesn't think. It doesn't feel.
It doesn't laugh or cry.
All it does from dusk till dawn
Is make the soldiers die.
-Onean children's rhyme
That was Fusion Elemental. And everyone who's read my thread knows how I feel about those silly fake Flavor Texts that I'll never know why people find funny...:rolleyes:
I have many favorite flavor texts, but going with the vibe of this thread, I was reminded of Lightning Blast's, one of my earlier favorites:
"Those who fear the darkness have never seen what the light can do." -Selenia, dark angel
I like 4/4s for 7.
- Dark Confidant
... profane command should have flavor text lol
"We outnumber them! Charge! Charge! Hey, where'd you guys go? Retreat! Retreat!"
Wild Mammoth
"Sit. Heel! Down! HELP!"
Flame Javelin ((hate the card love the flavor))
Gyara Spearhurler would have been renowned for her deadly accuracy, if it weren't for her deadly accuracy.
Force of Nature
"It blinked, and flower petals fell like tears. Harthar, sensing weakness, attacked—and his blood fell like petals." —Shesul Fass, faerie bard
Prahv, Spires of Order
Prahv, where much work is done to make sure nothing is accomplished.
thats all I can really think of off the top of my head.
Reckless Waif; It's the red Delver of Secrets.
#1 I have seen the future. It does not include you.
#2 "Looks like we're completely outnumbered"
"Lucky for us. I thought we'd be bored"
#3 Reuniting a world is not a gentle process.
Modern:
GRB Jund BRG
RBU Grixis Delver UBR
Legacy:
W Death & Taxes W
GRB Punishing Jund BRG
GUR Canadian Threshold RUG
Commander:
RUG Maelstrom Wanderer GUR
The Pulse cycle from Mirrodin is neat:
Pulse of the Forge: Before wars or weapons, there was anger.
Pulse of the Fields: Before religion or civilization, there was order.
Pulse of the Dross: Before tyrants or torturers, there was evil.
Pulse of the Grid: Before labs or lectures, there was insight.
Pulse of the Tangle: Before predators or prey, there was life.
Ice Age Counterspell: "The duel was going badly for me, and Zur thought I was finished. He boasted that he would eat my soul-but all he ate were his words." -Gustha Ebbasdotter, Kjeldoran Royal Mage
Rashka the Slayer:"Rarely be the prey so haughty as to hunt the hunter." -Baron Sengir
Goblin Grenade: "I don't suppose we could teach them to throw the cursed things?' -Ivra Jursdotter
Martyred Rusalka: Rakdos cultists hanged her for sport in the township square. Her ghost now stands vigil at what has become known as the Tree of Weeping.
Fallen Angel (5th Edition): "Angels are simply extensions of truth upon the fabric of life-and there is far more dark than light." -Baron Sengir
Another good one is Dark Confidant's "Greatness, at any cost."
They'll attack whatever's in front of them, as long as you tell them where that is.
Goblin Sky Raider
The Goblin word for flying is more accurately translated as falling slowly.
Pouncing Jaguar
One pounce, she's hungry - you die quickly.
Two, she's teaching her cubs - you're in for a long day.
Counterspell (Marcadian Masques)
"Your attack has been rendered harmless, it is however, quite pretty."
- Saparazzan Vizier
Goblins, or any card involving Goblins, tend to have funny flavour texts.
Standard:
UR Ral Combo
Modern:
U Merfolk
R Goblins
Commander
RB Grenzo, Dungeon Warden
R Feldon of the Third Path
"There will come a time when the voices of soil and seedling will sing only laments." Oracle en-Vec
Enchanted Evening:
"In the reflection, she saw the rough shell of the world sloughing away, revealing the truth shining underneath."
Declaration of Naught:
Every story, even a faerie tale, comes to an end.
Promo Wasteland:
"I will show you fear in a handful of dust." — T. S. Eliot, "The Waste Land"
Phyrexian Tyranny:
"He is Yawgmoth's reward to me. I shall kill him a hundred times a day." —Crovax, to Ertai "He is Yawgmoth's reward to me. I shall kill him a hundred times a day." —Crovax, to Ertai
Portal II Coercion:
Human tenderness is simply weakness in a pretty package." -Tojira, swamp queen
This was flavor text generated by MTGSalvation for Fusion Elemental.
Distress (Tenth Edition) - "They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. I like to break windows and take what's inside."
-Braids, dementia summoner
Mind Stone (DCI) - "Except our own thoughts, there is nothing absolutely in our power."
-Rene Descartes, Discourse on Method
Violent Ultimatum - "Words are a waste of time. Destruction is a language everyone understands."
-Sarkhan Vol
Blood Cultist - "To immortality."
Barter in Blood - "In the game of conquest, who cares about the pawns if the king yet reigns?"
-Geth, keeper of the Vault
Disembowel - "We thought we found the victim's clothes lumped in the street. As it turned out, it was the victim, insides sucked out--just a sack of skin and robes."
-Agrus Kos
Cabal Ritual - "Each syllable chills your veins. Each word rattles your mind."
-Cabal Patriarch
Last Gasp - "Allow me a moment to catch your breath."
Second Thoughts - It suddenly dawned on Jorin that farming was quite a noble profession.
[GTC] Gatecrash Patch for MWS (249/249)
Glowrider - "It is not yet time."
I like 4/4s for 7.
ertai, wizard adept - “Was that it?” —Ertai, wizard adept
"Drakes? Bah! Things that breathe don't interest me. It breathes fire, you say? Well, that's a different story!" —Zataz, Izzet clockwork artificer
Thanks To KrackShott
Old extendo moved
"He exercises his right to bear arms"
That what most people who post something say.
It's not a surprise, theres thousands upon thousands of magic cards, it's not really that amazing no one has posted the one you find most amusing.
Barren Glory
"The only perfect world is an empty world, with no one to sin or wage war."
-Tarran, Magus of the Disk
Reckless Waif; It's the red Delver of Secrets.
Standard: Monoblack Devotion - BG Constellation
Modern: RG Tron - Melira Pod
Legacy: Bug Delver - Esper Deathblade
Pili-Pala: It wasn't really expected to fly. Then again, it wasn't expected to move either.
bewilder is also funny.
Good call. I never played with the card myself because I didn't play when this came out. That is an awesome flavor text.
"His skin cuts swords." - The Seer's Parables