Dregscape Zombie gets my vote. It's been said before, but this is one of the most obvious and dull zombie flavor texts to see print on a Magic card. If you minus the reference to Grixis, this could go on literally any other zombie card.
About any "subpar" mechanics or cards: Context is king.
If I make a templating or grammar error, let me know.
The franchise MtG most resembles is Battlestar Galactica. Why? Its players exist in, at most, a dozen different models at any given point in time, with perhaps up to 3% variation, 5% if you're lucky.
Agreed. Goblin Offensive. Cute, but it does not work as well as they were probably hoping.
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Into the Maw of Hell is a name so awesome, it deserves its own song.
It would be about a world of brown spikes and red fire, where men fight and scream and become blurry masses. Then it would change to somber, we learn that this glorious place exists only in Raymond Swanland's head. To visit it, you must enter the maw of Hell itself.
Mage Slayer for me. The text just makes no sense for the card. In this case, the sword is special, not the user. If this is supposed to be ironic, it's still pretty bad.
I think Mage Slayer makes sense at least. It gets the point across: a weakling will be weak no matter what sword they use, but a God can kill with a butter knife.
Bull Cerodon is bad, because seriously, there's no sound when fog is torn.
Savage Twister is just...it doesn't make any sense, since it's out of context.
Captain's Maneuver is a no. I'm pretty sure the Phyrexians didn't use lasers as weapons.
At first I thought this was more of a knock on the artwork, not the flavor text, but actually they do go hand-in-hand (and for once, that's not a good thing). Using the hull of the ship as a defensive weapon to deflect what certainly seems to be a laser beam is really weird. Thanks for pointing that out!
It sure feels like we're back in Mirrodin! I'll cast a vote for Nuisance Engine, as I like most of these and this certainly seems like the weakest entry flavor-wise. I have no idea what the "Long Day of Squashing" refers to...I guess we're supposed to think that the Aurioks squashed / got squashed by a bunch of pest robots, but it's unclear. Lastly, this feels like it belongs on a goblin card, not one referencing the Auriok.
Nothing too terrible here, but I'll vote for Vault of Whispers. Describing Geth as the "commander of countless nim" just isn't epic enough to do him justice.
Next: There's no blue cards in Anthologies, so we're going straight to Anthologies Black.
I'll throw the first stone at Feast of the Unicorn, mainly because the other two are so good and such classic examples of flavor. The text for Feast of the Unicorn is much like the card itself: mediocre.
Seconded.
About any "subpar" mechanics or cards: Context is king.
If I make a templating or grammar error, let me know.
The franchise MtG most resembles is Battlestar Galactica. Why? Its players exist in, at most, a dozen different models at any given point in time, with perhaps up to 3% variation, 5% if you're lucky.
Incremental Blight = 3
Dregscape Zombie = 2
Beacon of Unrest = 1
Beseech the Queen = 1
Incremental Blight wins the prize for greatest eyeblight.
Next: Planechase Red
Goblin Offensive for me. The goblins aren't that offensive. The text certainly is.
Taurean Mauler = 1
Goblin Offensive is the #1 offender.
Next: Planechase Green
Beast Hunt for me. It's just plain boring.
Everything Else = 0
Beast Hunt is the undisputed master of disaster.
Next: Planechase Gold / Hybrid
Mage Slayer for me. The text just makes no sense for the card. In this case, the sword is special, not the user. If this is supposed to be ironic, it's still pretty bad.
Bull Cerodon is bad, because seriously, there's no sound when fog is torn.
Savage Twister is just...it doesn't make any sense, since it's out of context.
My vote is for Savage Twister
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At first I thought this was more of a knock on the artwork, not the flavor text, but actually they do go hand-in-hand (and for once, that's not a good thing). Using the hull of the ship as a defensive weapon to deflect what certainly seems to be a laser beam is really weird. Thanks for pointing that out!
To the tally...
Mage Slayer = 2
Bull Cerodon = 1
Captain's Manuever = 1
Savage Twister = 1
Mage Slayer wins it.
Next: Planechase Artifact
It sure feels like we're back in Mirrodin! I'll cast a vote for Nuisance Engine, as I like most of these and this certainly seems like the weakest entry flavor-wise. I have no idea what the "Long Day of Squashing" refers to...I guess we're supposed to think that the Aurioks squashed / got squashed by a bunch of pest robots, but it's unclear. Lastly, this feels like it belongs on a goblin card, not one referencing the Auriok.
Lodestone Myr = 1
Nuisance Engine proves to be the most troublesome of the bunch.
Lastly: Planechase Land
Nothing too terrible here, but I'll vote for Vault of Whispers. Describing Geth as the "commander of countless nim" just isn't epic enough to do him justice.
I'll go with Vault of Whispers for reasons stated above.
standard
BU control
BG infect
modern:
mill
edh:
devour for power
Shizuko ramp
Shivan Oasis = 1
Vault of Whispers takes the win.
That concludes Planechase. We'll be delving now further back into the past, starting anew with Anthologies White.
Armored Pegasus gets my vote. It's a bit too silly and out of character.
Infantry Veteran = 3
Armored Pegasus = 2
Infantry Veteran conquers the day.
Next: There's no blue cards in Anthologies, so we're going straight to Anthologies Black.
I'll throw the first stone at Feast of the Unicorn, mainly because the other two are so good and such classic examples of flavor. The text for Feast of the Unicorn is much like the card itself: mediocre.
BGStandard Green AggroGB
UWRGModern Saheeli CobraGRWU
UBRGLegacy StormGRBU
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