MTG Salvation

I recently managed to fill a binder page front and back with One With Nothing foil and regular as a bit of a joke during trades ("It's day is coming, sure you don't want one for a Scalding Tarn *wink wink*"). This got me thinking what other one mana crappy joke rares from modern I could fill pages with to get chuckles. Aside from Trait Doctoring, I could only come up with Moonlace. Suggestions?

Vexing Devil

Quote from Dracilic

Vexing Devil

If you consider a 9 dollar card worthless something might be the matter with you.

Norin the Wary?

http://magiccards.info/query?q=lace+t%3A%22instant%22+cmc%3D1

Cosi's Trickster, Kederekt Parasite, Magus of the Scroll, Mana Clash after just a quick search on gatherer. There's plenty more, that's just a select few.

I hope you can do better with trait doctoring. It could have its day somewhere somehow. If WotC just releases a little white creature with "Protection from white, plainswalk. When this creature ETBs, target opponent replaces all instances of a color word or land type with a chosen color word or land type", then it could get some use. Maybe maybe maybe.

Alabaster Leech is pretty darn bad, but theoretically useful in some sort of deck where you don't cast any white spells and just want to cheat him out on the basis of him having CMC=1.

Oh, I found Mana Clash. That doesn't even have the niche sideboard use one with nothing has. You just can't use Mana clash with anything Wizards currently has legal, really.

I slip Vizzerdrix into peoples binders over top of their money cards from time to time.

Quote from iTRV

I slip Vizzerdrix into peoples binders over top of their money cards from time to time.

you just made my day.

http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Search/Default.aspx?action=advanced&rating=+%3C[3]&mana=+=[1]&rarity=+[R]

these are all pretty awful

Quote from FlopItOut

you just made my day.

http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Search/Default.aspx?action=advanced&rating=+%3C[3]&mana=+=[1]&rarity=+[R]

these are all pretty awful

Makes it hard to find any more of them because most often people rip them up after finding it hiding their expensive stuff. Worth it though, the looks on peoples faces are priceless.

Quote from yrock

Norin the Wary?

He is the best mono red commander. so no he isn't worthless.

I know someone that collects Cosi's tricksters apparently someone has always got ahead of you on that one.

I vote for
Slumbering dragon

Quote from Sotar

Porphyry Nodes is one we trade around as a joke at my LGS.

That card was briefly the #2 rare in the set too.

It's actually a lot stronger than it looks, if your deck wants a slow anti-creature effect. Modern doesn't support slow anti-creature effects very well, however. It is devastating as a turn 1 play when you are on the draw against aggro, however - I'd much rather have it in my opening hand than Lightning Bolt or Path to Exile in that situation.


Vexing Devil, on the other hand, has legitimately powerful interactions with Varolz now and is a seriously Modern-playable card in some decks.

Quote from 360

Cosi's Trickster, Kederekt Parasite, Magus of the Scroll, Mana Clash after just a quick search on gatherer. There's plenty more, that's just a select few.

Magus of the Scroll is good enough to break into the 1 drop red section of lots of cubes, so I'd question calling it "nearly worthless".

Quote from sirgog

That card was briefly the #2 rare in the set too.

It's actually a lot stronger than it looks, if your deck wants a slow anti-creature effect. Modern doesn't support slow anti-creature effects very well, however. It is devastating as a turn 1 play when you are on the draw against aggro, however - I'd much rather have it in my opening hand than Lightning Bolt or Path to Exile in that situation.


Vexing Devil, on the other hand, has legitimately powerful interactions with Varolz now and is a seriously Modern-playable card in some decks.

Its just getting its due as the White drop of honey <--- and that card could be fearsome.

Quote from Narvuntien

I vote for
Slumbering dragon

The flavour is off the charts when it comes to Slumbering Dragon though

Quote from Canadian Guy of Wrath

The flavour is off the charts when it comes to Slumbering Dragon though

I know, it sucks that there's no room for a simple line of flavor text: "You don't poke anything when it's sleeping, especially dragons."

Thanks for the suggestions, everybody, I'm thinking I'll do a one card page for each color. Any green recommendations?

Quote from yrock

Norin the Wary?

Oh no you didn't. He is an amazing commander and I challenge you to a game right now.

For quite a while, Bloodhall Ooze and Death's Shadow were considered "Jank rates," but now Ooze is played in Modern Jund. Well, maybe Death's Shadow is still Jank....

Suggestions for Green - Scute Mob. I bought 40 copied of this card, expecting it to be at least $5 some day. We all know how that went.

Have we forgotten about Trait Doctoring already?

edit: just noticed it's in the op. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS

edit: what about Crazed Goblin?

A 1 drop that's worse than a vanilla 1 drop

Quote from popsofctown

Oh, I found Mana Clash. That doesn't even have the niche sideboard use one with nothing has. You just can't use Mana clash with anything Wizards currently has legal, really.

Chance Encounter.dec says lolnope.

Quote from FoodChainGoblins

For quite a while, Bloodhall Ooze and Death's Shadow were considered "Jank rates," but now Ooze is played in Modern Jund. Well, maybe Death's Shadow is still Jank....

You might notice Death's Shadow is pushing the 4 dollar mark right now, thanks to Varolz. Funny how that works, isn't it?

OT: Liar's Pendulum is pretty horrid...

Quote from LouCypher

Chance Encounter.dec says lolnope.

No it doesn't.

http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=83159

Read rulings. Mana clash flips have no winner or loser. The deck doesn't work, despite people seeming to constantly think that it does.

Quote from Von

Have we forgotten about Trait Doctoring already?

Nope. But we've apparently forgotten about Sleight of Mind and Magical Hack. Which can at least affect spells. While we're here, Purelace and that cycle.

I'm going to disagree with any one-drop creature being "worthless", unless it has 0 power. Especially if it has an ability. It's still a 1/1 for 1. It's just not a very good rare.

Quote from Warp

I don't understand what's so bad about it. It's certainly not a Jace, but could work quite well eg. with landwalkers and creatures with protection from a color.

Or is your point that there's no rational reason for it to be rare?

It's terrible because it is sorcery speed, and because the cipher does literally nothing for the spell. You talk about protection and landwalk, sure, but after turn 1, you have to hit them before you get the cipher, so you can't change protection or landwalk to anything relevant because they will be able to block your guy before the spell ever goes off.

Trait Doctoring definitely is worse since its EOT. Slag Fiend is hilariously bad that playing it turn 1 is good for putting it in your graveyard. But back in the old days opening up any of the Leeches makes you want to punch a wall. Alabaster Leech being one of them.

Quote from Kaitscralt

Scute Mob saw a healthy amount of play in Standard as a Ranger of Eos target in Naya. It was a silver bullet, but still good.

It saw a little play as a silver bullet, but the card never broke the $2.50 barrier from what I saw. I guess I just thought that it had the potential to be a quasi-Goyf in some sort of UG Goyf-like control/tempo deck.