How to Deal With : Sore Losers

  • #1
    We've all seen it, and hell, some of us probably do it. Sore Losers. You know, those people who get amazingly angry if they lose because they think they are Worlds Champion. The people who will get up, slam their stuff in their bag, and storm off without so much as a "good game". Yeah, we've all been here one way or another.

    The reason i'm writing this is because i've encountered a couple of really bad sore losers at my FNM the past couple of weeks, and it got me thinking, how do i go about dealing with this? The reason i ask myself that is because i'm a No BS type of guy when it comes to people getting angry over a game, and it makes me mad to see such poor sports. So what do i do? Do i tell them to shut up and suck it up, or do i just stay quiet and let them throw a tantrum and laugh at them when they walk away?

    The hard fact is that i know i cant stop a Sore Loser once its out of the cage, even though i want to make them realize that its just a game and his soul still belongs to him/her.

    So, how do YOU deal with Sore Losers?
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  • #2
    Stop playing with them.

    Or, if for whatever reason that isn't an option, learn to ignore it.

    Or, an even more entertaining option, feed into it and get them to REALLY rage, and learn to revel in it.
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  • #3
    Quote from NGW

    Or, an even more entertaining option, feed into it and get them to REALLY rage, and learn to revel in it.


    this is what i'd love to do above all other things, cause thats just who i am. i will make you flip the table over just to get an amazing laugh lol.

    But the fact is, i sometimes HAVE to play them, because i get paired with them at FNM, and if i refuse, thats a loss for me.

    And its really hard for me to just "ignore" stupidity
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  • #4
    One of my really good friends is like this. He's gotten better over the years but still does it occasionally. What worked for me was telling him I won't play with him if he's going to act this way. Others did the same. He was pretty much forced to stop being such a bitch.

    As far as your situation goes the best thing you can do in this situation is just laugh in their face. Unless you fear confrontation then in that case just get up and walk away from them after you've beaten them without so much as an after game comment. No one should be forced to have to deal with someone who doesn't understand the idea of losing in a game where losing is how you actually get better.

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  • #5
    Let them throw the tantrum (but remember that you aren't obligated to be an audience for them -- when you're done packing up your stuff, you can just walk away). This is their way of coping with losses. No, it's not ideal, but whatever; that's mostly their problem, not yours.

    If they get into your face too much, call a judge. I have no tolerance for people who throw items in my general direction, for example.

    I have a general policy of not speaking first after I win a game or match. If they want to chat with you about it, then of course you can go ahead and join in, but some people don't feel like getting into a conversation after losing and I don't think it's really that nice to try to make them.
  • #6
    Quote from TheLizard
    Let them throw the tantrum (but remember that you aren't obligated to be an audience for them -- when you're done packing up your stuff, you can just walk away). This is their way of coping with losses. No, it's not ideal, but whatever; that's mostly their problem, not yours.

    If they get into your face too much, call a judge. I have no tolerance for people who throw items in my general direction, for example.

    I have a general policy of not speaking first after I win a game or match. If they want to chat with you about it, then of course you can go ahead and join in, but some people don't feel like getting into a conversation after losing and I don't think it's really that nice to try to make them.


    see, i'm one of those players who will talk to you the whole game to loosen people up and not be so tense, so when the games over, were still talkin. unless they are the type of people who love complete silence then i'll talk to my friends sitting next to me. i cant sit in complete silence, that just seems rude to me. sure if they are really thinking something out, i'll shut up, but besides that, i'll talk.

    if i lose, i say "hey man, you got it, good game though, and good luck".

    if i win, i'll say something to make them feel better about themselves, cause i know losing sucks, but you shouldnt act like a 3 year old when you do it
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  • #7
    Quote from SiNcereX
    if i win, i'll say something to make them feel better about themselves, cause i know losing sucks, but you shouldnt act like a 3 year old when you do it
    See, the thing is, you may THINK you are making them feel better about themselves, but that is not likely to actually be the case. They may interpret it differently (as "rubbing it in", for example).
  • #8
    Quote from TheLizard
    See, the thing is, you may THINK you are making them feel better about themselves, but that is not likely to actually be the case. They may interpret it differently (as "rubbing it in", for example).

    I was just going to say this. If you say something like "Well that Doom Blade you cast really put me in a tough spot, you almost had me then", of course that seems encouraging to you but they may interpret it as "Haha, that Doom Blade sure didn't helpt very much, it put me in a tough spot but since I'm so über I fought of it and beat you". Yes that line of thought is irrational, but these people are angry and that's not a rational state of mind. It's better to just say nothing, or wait for them to talk.
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  • #9
    I got a 4 step process for how i deal with this.
    Step 1 Don't care
    Step 2 Really don't care
    Step 3 Don't be bothered by it.
    Step 4 Really just don't care. I mean if they are just randoms and not your friends just don't care. It's not worth your breath.
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  • #10
    Are these guys sore when they lose to everyone, or just you?

    If it's everyone...let them get angry and storm off. Then go over to the people at FNM you actually like and mutually laugh at Spikey McJerkerson's latest ragequit.

    If it's just you...don't be a sore winner.


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  • #11
    One of my mates isn't a great loser. He doesn't rage, he sulks. He spent most of my groups 3xISD draft league moaning that he was having a terrible run and that he'd be lucky to be in the top 2/3rds of the league. 5 weeks later he won the league. He did the same for the DKA league and he came 3rd, and now he was doing it with the AVR league last week when he came 6th out of 14, then yesterday he beat me to second on tiebreakers (we both went 3-1, but his 3 wins were 2-0, I had a pair of 2-0's and a 2-1).

    My way of dealing with it is to simply refuse to acknowledge it. He starts sulking, I just start talking about something else. Doesn't matter what, the build of an EDH list, a cute synergy, an awesome game of starcraft 2 I played last week, even what we should order for dinner (our draft league is run in a pub, so we can order food with our draft).
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  • #12
  • #13
    I have a confession to make.

    Normally, I really do take this game in stride. After 18 years and losing a hell of a lot more than I win, you have to.

    But this Friday got to me.

    It was round 4. I needed the match for top 8. I took game 1 easily. In fact, my opponent was so mana screwed I didn't get to see any cards so I couldn't sideboard for game 2. So by the time game 2 hit and I got to see what he was playing, it was too late for me to pack answers for that game. And I needed them.

    He was playing a Venser/Stonehorn lock deck and I was playing straight ramp. My board wipe (which was a bad choice to begin with, Slagstorm) was in my side.

    Well, he got the lock and I just scooped because I had no way to deal with it.

    Game 3 I sided in Slag.

    Turn 5 he pulls the lock again and I never saw my slag or an Inferno Titan, which would have been enough to kill Stonehorn and move in for the kill next turn as I had about 12 creatures on the board.

    I ended up losing the match. While I didn't take a hissy fit or anything like that, and did shake my opponents hand saying "good game" he had to see that I was visibly frustrated as hell at not being able to attack with a board full of creatures and him with one guy to defend.

    So yes, I was frustrated, annoyed and I wasn't happy, not to mention that I probably wasn't smiling either, something I usually do no matter how bad the game goes. Like I said, I lose a lot and am quite used to it.

    But this Friday got to me.

    Point is, we all have bad days. Every once in a while, a game gets to us, especially when it's something like what I ran into. Sure, if this person is like this all the time then there's a problem. But if it's a once in a blue moon thing, cut him some slack.

    Cause you see, even if you're used to losing a lot, like me, it's not a lot of fun.

    This week...Venser is toast.

    Modern can crash and burn for all I care

  • #14
    Quote from SiNcereX
    So, how do YOU deal with Sore Losers?

    If it's a tournament, I take great satisfaction in sliding the match slip across the table and politely requesting, "Sign that?"
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  • #15
    Quote from LandBoySteve
    Point is, we all have bad days. Every once in a while, a game gets to us, especially when it's something like what I ran into. Sure, if this person is like this all the time then there's a problem. But if it's a once in a blue moon thing, cut him some slack.


    True, and that's fair enough. We've all got stressed before now and vented a little.

    I can think of two times I've done it off the top of my head. Once in draft, I was playing game 3 for 1st place. I needed triple green on the next turn to win, but I only had green. I drew a forest played it, cast and FB'd think twice, drew the second one on the flashback. My opponent drew and cast Into the Maw of Hell on my second forest. I'll admit to the reaction of "F***ing hell, F***ing Into the Maw of Hell". No one really cared, but it was a tense game and it was 1am at the time.

    Another was an EDH evening with friends. One of the guys there (who I now detest beyond words because of some non-magic related stuff) knew I'd been having a bad day. 8 games in a row he tutored up Sorin Markov at the first opportunity, dropped him and used the -3 on me, then passed to the guy playing a shaky mono-red deck, who went on the philosophy of "my deck's bad, so I'll take any kill I can get", meaning I then got all his burn to the face. Then I'd have to sit around for 45 minutes while they played out the rest of the game.

    I made it very clear that if he did it once more, I was done for the night. He did it again, but by that point, everyone else was sick of him trolling the same plays over and over again just to make my already crap day worse, so everyone except the red player scooped the second he cast Sorin (while calling him a lot of things that I'm pretty sure the salvation filter won't allow) and started another game without him. We finished that game and when he tried to start another one, we all decided we were done for the night and left.

    Eventually, we found out just how much of a jackass he was, and now none of us will even acknowledge him in the street anymore.
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  • #16
    Quote from NGW

    Or, an even more entertaining option, feed into it and get them to REALLY rage, and learn to revel in it.


    No.

    This is exactly like the "would you cheat if your opponent was cheating" thread. Really, didn't anyone's mother teach them "two wrongs don't make a right?" Or is internet trolling culture so pervasive that people can now only be civil when it's convenient?

    The best way to deal with a sore loser is to take the high road, offer a good game, get them to sign your slip and move on to the next match. If it's a friend of mine I'd ask if something's wrong, and if it really *was* just the game of magic, and not other stresses bleeding through, I probably wouldn't play with them until they got their issues under control. Then again I wouldn't normally be friends with someone who takes a game *that* seriously anyway.
  • #17
    it depends on the situation really...day two of a GP and someone picking up their third loss is a lot diffrent from someone losing a 1-1 matchup at FNM

    when you are looking at missing out on a top 8/money finish it's more understandable to be upset at your losses.
    however it's still no excuse for poor sportsmanship.
    we have this one guy who lost in round 2-3 of a 4 round draft FNM and proceded to throw his deck across the room into the trash can and storm out of the store
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  • #18
    Quote from SpiderParadox
    No.

    This is exactly like the "would you cheat if your opponent was cheating" thread. Really, didn't anyone's mother teach them "two wrongs don't make a right?" Or is internet trolling culture so pervasive that people can now only be civil when it's convenient?


    Cheating and poor sportsmanship are two totally different things. Didn't anyone's mother teach them a sense of good sportsmanship? It's a game ffs, if you win you win, if you lose you lose.

    If my opponent cannot handle their loss, I usually just say good game, pack my things up, and walk away. But sometimes I do push their buttons. If they're going to be jerks, I'm sometimes going to yank their chains a bit. I had an FNM opponent once that I beat 2-1. He ruined me G1, I just had a few lucky draws G2, and G3 was neck and neck, but in the end I came out on top. He slammed his hands on the table and was cursing and yelling and calling me a noob (my deck was kind of a joke) and kept ranting about how lucky I got and all that jazz. As I normally do, I put my hand out and said sorry man, but good games, I had a good time, as sincerely as possible. So he got all pouty and folded his arms and said I'm not shaking your hand. I proceeded to give him crap for not shaking my hand and kept shoving mine in his face and being like c'mon buddy shake it you know you want to, and he was fuming.

    But whatever, he deserved it. He couldn't handle losing a damn card game, so I'm gonna give him some crap.
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  • #19
    The most effective way to deal with people who are sore losers is to consistently beat them, in ever increasingly spectacular ways.

    Eventually, they will realize they just aren't that good, and will either adjust their strategy and become better players, or will begin to settle down and become better people, or a combination of both.

    I don't know. I may get a little irked if I think I have a win in the bag and you pull it out with an absolutely spectacular maneuver. But really, I give a very admiring "Well played" if that happens most of the time. I am far more likely to be angry if you completely shut my deck down. It has happened. Even then, it is a signal that I need to do something just a little bit differently.

    Heck, instead of raging, just try to think about what WOULD have won, and bring it!
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  • #20
    All types play the game, some just need to vent or cant handle losing (part of it is whats going on in society with everyones a winner type activities.) I choose to kill them with kindness.

    I was playing in a draft, dropped a card on the table and the guy I was playing asked what it did. I turned the card toward him so he could read it and he said,'just tell me what it does'. I said nothing. I proceed to beat him with the card and he got mad and called the judge. He claimed I lied to him and cheated. The judge asked what happened and we told him and the judge laughed at the guy and walked away. (by the way this guy was in his mid 20s, not some preteen) He exploded and started screaming at me, the judge and anyone who would listen. The TO end up kicking him that night because of his actions.

    Some times people just have a bad night, bad tourny. I just ignore them and move on.
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  • #21
    Quote from Degduar Marte
    Cheating and poor sportsmanship are two totally different things. Didn't anyone's mother teach them a sense of good sportsmanship? It's a game ffs, if you win you win, if you lose you lose.

    If my opponent cannot handle their loss, I usually just say good game, pack my things up, and walk away. But sometimes I do push their buttons. If they're going to be jerks, I'm sometimes going to yank their chains a bit. I had an FNM opponent once that I beat 2-1. He ruined me G1, I just had a few lucky draws G2, and G3 was neck and neck, but in the end I came out on top. He slammed his hands on the table and was cursing and yelling and calling me a noob (my deck was kind of a joke) and kept ranting about how lucky I got and all that jazz. As I normally do, I put my hand out and said sorry man, but good games, I had a good time, as sincerely as possible. So he got all pouty and folded his arms and said I'm not shaking your hand. I proceeded to give him crap for not shaking my hand and kept shoving mine in his face and being like c'mon buddy shake it you know you want to, and he was fuming.

    But whatever, he deserved it. He couldn't handle losing a damn card game, so I'm gonna give him some crap.


    Poor sportsmanship goes both ways. Your particular example sounds like you were just trying to lighten the mood, and if someone's going to come at you like that of course you have to say something back. However, I've seen too many winners who decide they just need to be jerks. There was a person next to me at a legacy PTQ who lost against a dredge deck, and made a serious misplay by trying to counter a cabal therapy after resolution. It was clear that he was really pissed off, but he was trying to keep calm and was just pretty sulky. The winner proceeded to start criticizing the loser's deck construction, as well as loudly pointing out clutch cards in determining what he was playing. The loser then threw a little fit and left.

    Just try to remember that "giving someone crap" can swing around and suddenly it's the winner whose a poor sport, and at least in my eyes looks like a bully who is being an jerk to some kid because he didn't show what he felt was the "proper respect". As long as it's not hurting anyone, who cares right? Just let him stew.
  • #22
    Quote from SpiderParadox
    Poor sportsmanship goes both ways. Your particular example sounds like you were just trying to lighten the mood, and if someone's going to come at you like that of course you have to say something back. However, I've seen too many winners who decide they just need to be jerks. There was a person next to me at a legacy PTQ who lost against a dredge deck, and made a serious misplay by trying to counter a cabal therapy after resolution. It was clear that he was really pissed off, but he was trying to keep calm and was just pretty sulky. The winner proceeded to start criticizing the loser's deck construction, as well as loudly pointing out clutch cards in determining what he was playing. The loser then threw a little fit and left.

    Just try to remember that "giving someone crap" can swing around and suddenly it's the winner whose a poor sport, and at least in my eyes looks like a bully who is being an jerk to some kid because he didn't show what he felt was the "proper respect". As long as it's not hurting anyone, who cares right? Just let him stew.


    Fair enough, I guess I just like to be a jerk every now and then hahaha. What you're saying makes sense. And yeah, in that example I was trying to lighten the mood. I suppose my way of getting back at kids throwing a fit is to be silly, in the hopes that a) they lighten up, or b) it makes them more angry. Either way, I'm down with how they react lol.
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  • #23
    Just smirk and move onto my next opponent. Not worth letting him/her ruin my evening.
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  • #24
    What I dont get is why these sore losers are so rampant in MTG

    theres really no need to "deal" with them, they kind of deal with themselves for you
  • #25
    Be glad it's not you.
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