Hey Custom Card forums! I just finished the second version of a set that I've been working on for a while, titled Voyage. I'm looking for opinions on it! So I came to you guys, the best creative MTG resource I know! I used to be a regular on these forums many years ago on a different screen name, but got away from it. Voyage and its story are a work in progress. The story focuses on Taysir and some newly imagined-by-me endeavors.
My focus currently is on making a fun balanced limited environment. I want the format to be great for drafting and sealed deck (the goal is to play it IRL). It is the first set of a potential block. I will begin playtesting with some friends as soon as possible. Some basic Voyage mechanics.
Three new keywords:
Intensify
Hex
Relentless
There are two old keywords revisited:
Channel (one of my favorite mechanics, left mostly untouched by WOTC)
Entwine (applied to both creatures and spells with 3 choices)
Instead of saying anything more, I will let you browse yourself: Voyage Link
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Some cards to maybe get you interested:
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I'm looking for help:
Are there any templating or rule-related problems?
Are there any overpowered cards?
Do you think this set would be imbalanced in limited?
Do you see any cards that could break a theoretical standard or block format?
All insight and analysis would be greatly appreciated! Thanks for looking,
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Revisions/Updates:
I am working on properly crediting artists. {WCompleted}
I am working on flavor text. {Completed}
I am working on writing up the very basics of the story.
I am working on revisions posted by users to help with careless templating or ruling errors. {Completed}
I am cutting back on some keywords that only appeared for flavor reasons. (REMOVED - Exalted, Fateseal, Ninjutsu, Wither, Phyrexian mana, Bloodthirst, Rampage, Hybrid mana) {Completed}
I am working on changing the style to M15. {Completed}
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Special Thanks To:
Thought Criminal for helping me with numerous templating issues
From what I see, you have a lot of good designs and all the answers to your questions are probably positive (all is fine). Minor catches: "Return to its owner's hand", "Cast (not play) spells"
Thank you, I will have to check through them all for those mistakes.
Add in the nonexistence of flavor texts and here we are.
Good point, I haven't gotten around to flavor text. Though this has absolutely zero impact on the cards' playability. Putting in flavor text takes a lot of work, and I don't find it particularly enjoyable or relevant.
You have way too many mechanics. I've spotted Channel, Intensify, Hex, Exalted, Entwine, Relentless, Fateseal, Ninjutsu, Wither, Hybrid mana, Phyrexian mana, Split cards, Bloodthirst, Rampage, Enchant player. Fifteen different mechanics.
Having many keywords is a personal preference. I don't believe in "too many keywords" (except for plainswalk and islandhome). I think that there is so much creative room for certain mechanics beyond what has been designed by WOTC. For example, Channel is one of my favorite abilities of all time, and the existing cards with Channel are very lacking. I understand the reasoning behind not having more than five or six keywords per set; WOTC doesn't want to confuse their new players with too many keywords. However, I am not a new player nor do I play with new players. I do not think that having lots of keywords detracts from gameplay. Of course, this could never be a real MTG set, but that is not my personal concern (though I understand the compulsion to design a set with only a small amount of mechanics).
Update: After more thought, I do think it is the right choice to abandon some of these keywords. Many of them appeared specifically for flavor purposes, and I will find a non-keyworded way to deal with it.
However, what you designed cannot be really called "a set". This is just a bunch of cards which aren't connected together by anything...A bunch of random cards.
I completely disagree with you when you say that they are just a bunch of cards which aren't connected by anything (since it's simply not true). Many of the cards were designed specifically for synergistic interaction with one another. I won't waste my time explaining these connections. I feel like you said this just because there are lots of keywords, and perhaps because you didn't take much time to fully consider the interactions that exist in the set. And I don't blame you, why should you spend hours exploring my fake set? Maybe it's all of the boring gap-fillers? (bland cards are used to fill certain limited roles, like CMC curving or creature/spell ratio). In any real magic set there are loads of basic gap-filling cards.
I like the set! I looked through it and the designs you have seem well thought out. However there are some things I'd like to say:
This is a little thing, but generally on an Entwine card, the choices go above the Entwine cost (It's nitpicky, but...)
I have to agree what Ryder052 said above about certain things:
This set needs flavor text. I know that since your set is a bottom-up design (mechanics first, flavor later) that it may seem unnecessary, but to have it be a standalone set, I need to feel/see some kind of story. It doesn't have to be super deep, but it would be nice.
Also, credit the artists! I really like some of the art that you used, and even though you never took credit for it, I'm not able to give credit to the artist that made the piece. It's more of a courtesy thing to the artist.
And now for the mechanics. I see both the pros and cons of having your set have a bunch of mechanics, but generally mechanics need to develop over a BLOCK, not a set. A good example would be Return to Ravnica to Dragon's Maze. Dragon's Maze had a very good limited format (personally), and it managed to incorporate ELEVEN mechanics in a small set. Now the reason for this was that the previous mechanics already had been established in the previous sets (Return to Ravnica and Gatecrash), so players didn't get overwhelmed.
In the case of your set, having 15 mechanics seems excessive. I'm definitely not new to Magic, and it wasn't just that the designs were bad, but I was a little... shall we say overwhelmed by cards. This level of complexity within a limited format is bad for the format. Imagine that you are a new player about to play your set, but you are too confused by it. You have to learn fifteen mechanics before you are able to even build a deck. Unfortunately, you might think it's too hard, and just quit. Remember that a set needs to appeal to both new players and experienced pros.
Your set isn't bad, it's actually very good, but it's not really a set in the traditional term. This is more on par with Modern Masters 1 & 2, but those sets are entirely made up with reprints and serve a definitive purpose.
I'll review some of the specific cards later and see if anything stands out or needs to be fixed. I enjoyed looking at this, but take this with a pinch of salt.
Hope this helps!
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This signature is hilarious. You're laughing right now i bet.
MY DECKS
Standard BBBMono Black DevotionBBB
Modern WUBEsper Token/SuperfriendsWUB
Commander (EDH) WBRKaalia of the VastWBR
This is a little thing, but generally on an Entwine card, the choices go above the Entwine cost (It's nitpicky, but...)
Great point. I think I moved it to the top for creatures since that seemed like the right place to template the additional cost (like kicker is on top). Strange that entwine is on bottom while kicker is on top?
This set needs flavor text. I know that since your set is a bottom-up design (mechanics first, flavor later) that it may seem unnecessary, but to have it be a standalone set, I need to feel/see some kind of story. It doesn't have to be super deep, but it would be nice.
Yes this is a problem. The story is not deep whatsoever, and that is one of my personal weaknesses.
Your set isn't bad, it's actually very good, but it's not really a set in the traditional term. This is more on par with Modern Masters 1 & 2, but those sets are entirely made up with reprints and serve a definitive purpose.
I'll review some of the specific cards later and see if anything stands out or needs to be fixed. I enjoyed looking at this, but take this with a pinch of salt.
Hope this helps!
I appreciate your time and help! It is definitely non-traditional and definitely needs more work still!
The below comments are about rules inconsistencies, templating issues, and other general opinions of the cards. They won't discuss my opinion of their power level or any of your design decisions since I don't know enough about your design process to usefully critique them (with one exception, which I'll mention at the end). Any cards that I don't mention here work fine.
(W) Simple Assassin
The term "channeling a card" has no rules meaning. I'm assuming an ability that triggers whenever a player "channels a card" triggers either whenever the channel ability is activated or when it resolves. However, the word "channel" is an ability word, meaning it has no rules meaning, so there can't be an effect that refers to the ability word in this way. You'd either have to go with something like "whenever you discard a card" or something similar, or "demote" channel into a keyword like forecast (which I don't recommend doing).
(W) Studious Templar
"As ~ enters the battlefield, choose a color..."
(W) Transitory Seraph
"...return it to its owner's hand."
(W) Valiant Crusader
You might want to spell out what detain actually does. It shouldn't be expected that players automatically know what "detain" means in Magic.
(W) Wayward Siren
The ability won't actually do anything. By the time the triggered ability is put onto the stack, all the Auras attached to it will have either already become creatures again (with bestow Auras) or be put into a graveyard (with all other Auras). There will no longer be any "Auras attached to [Wayward Siren]" any more.
(W) Combat Melder
"If ~ would be dealt damage, prevent 3 of that damage."
(W) Disconcerting Battlement
What is the second ability supposed to mean? The defending player already gets to choose the order in which their creatures deal damage to the creatures that they're blocking.
(W) Draghir, the Battalion
1) "Put two tokens onto the battlefield that are copies of..." / "Exile those tokens at the beginning of the next end step."
2) Should this be legendary? It seems like it. If so, should it really be making copies of itself?
(W) Piercing Sun
"Target player can't cast spells..."
(W) Sweeping Revival
Should this target? I feel as though it should target.
(W) Thariel, Herald of Arcanum
The second ability creates some rather weird rules interactions. For example, what happens if Perpetual Vitality is cast from the graveyard, resolves, and becomes attached to my Elite Vanguard while I control Thariel? Which creature gets the counters?
(W) Thuvius the Omnipresent
"Flying; exalted" (If two keyword abilities are listed on the same line, the latter of which has reminder text, they should be separated by a semicolon rather than a comma.)
(U) AEther Artist
Entwine doesn't work on triggered abilities, so you'd have to spell it out on the actual triggered ability rather than use entwine.
(U) Drake Cultist
"Whenever ~ is dealt damage, each player puts that many cards from the top of his or her library into his or her graveyard."
(U) Fierce Chimera
See my comment for Thuvius the Omnipresent.
(U) Honored Aven
See my comment for Simple Assassin.
(U) Phantasmal Ogre
Either:
a. "When ~ is the target of a spell or ability,..." (This is a state-triggered ability that will keep triggering as long as a spell or ability on the stack is targeting it.)
b. "Whenever ~ becomes the target of a spell or ability,..." (This is a regular triggered ability that will only trigger once, when the creature is first chosen as a target of a spell or ability, much like the heroic ability.)
(U) Pupil of Destiny
"...draw a card, then discard a card."
(U) Subliminal Force
1) "...to its owner's hand."
2) Shroud should probably have reminder text.
(U) Warden of the Vociferous
"Whenever ~ blocks or becomes blocked by a creature,..."
(U) Evolving Illusion
"~ gains flying [or hexproof]. (This effect lasts indefinitely.)"
Also see my comment for AEther Artist.
(U) Power of Replication
"At the beginning of your upkeep, enchanted creature becomes a copy of target creature and gains 'This creature can't be blocked.'"
(U) Spell Shield
"Enchant permanent"
(U) Clairvoyant Hero
Rather than use both scry and fateseal and have it be a modal ability, why not just combine the two mechanics and write out how the ability should work? You save a lot more room that way.
(U) Sweeping Seizure
You should probably reformat the card a little bit, as it's extremely hard to read:
"Search from among your opponents' libraries for an artifact, creature, enchantment, instant, and sorcery card and cast them without paying their mana costs. Each player whose library you searched this way shuffles it."
As this is a rare, I don't think choosing between artifact or enchantment and instant or sorcery is very needed, nor is the difference between "put onto battlefield" and "cast" very important, either.
(U) Taysir, Temporal Genius
1) "...return that creature to its owner's hand."
2) The emblem that the ultimate creates is rather unfun to play against. An emblem should impose a significant challenge for the opponent to win against, but the player should at least have fun doing so and shouldn't feel like they're constantly being denied a way to keep up with you.
(B) Apothecary Reaper
See my comments for Simple Assassin and Honored Aven.
(B) Plagued Vermin
See my comments for AEther Artist and Evolving Illusion.
(B) Bitter Desolation
"...sacrifice X lands."
(B) Consumed Slayer
"Each player chooses two creatures he or she controls, then sacrifices the rest."
(B) Two-Headed Plaguehound
You can use menace here. You're already using scry in its evergreen form, so there's no reason not to use another evergreen keyword in here.
(B) Unholy Charm
It seems odd that you're both using scry as a keyword and intimidate as a keyword, when those two have never been on the evergreen keyword list concurrently.
(B) Corrupt Perceptions
"...if you cast it from your graveyard,..."
(B) Halphas, Herald of Ill Will
Hex should probably have reminder text alongside it.
(R) Aggressive Wolf
See my comment for AEther Artist.
(R) Basalt Horror
See my comment for Simple Assassin.
(R) Hungnagoth Firebeast
"Activate this ability only once per turn."
(R) Energy Fissure
See my comment for Simple Assassin.
(R) Foolish Ritualist
"When you play it this turn,..."
(R) Prismatic Phoenix
This doesn't quite work like you expect it to. Because paying a hex cost also involves the Aura card with hex being put onto the stack, during the resolution of the ability, there is no Aura (permanent) for the ability to attach onto the creature. It needs to say something like the following:
"Whenever you pay a card's hex cost, you may [...] attach the permanent it becomes to ~."
(R) Sweeping Quake
See my comment for Sweeping Seizure.
(R) Aureon, Tempest Empress
"You may choose new targets for the copy."
(R) Sehmar the Indignant
"Flying; bloodthirst 1"
(G) Highpaw Lookout
"You gain 4 life."
(G) Magical Clash
The term "survives" has no rules meaning. Either you need to define what it means for a creature to "survive" something, or you need to replace the word with something else.
(G) Monstrosity of the Deepgrove
"Search your library for up to two basic land cards, reveal them, put them into your hand, then shuffle your library."
(G) Viridian Outlaw
See my comment for AEther Artist.
(G) Wurm Battle-Breaker
See my comment for Simple Assassin.
(G) Pack of Wolves
Does the +1/+0 last permanently or until end of turn?
(G) Spider Inspirit
"Enchanted creature gets +0/+3 and has reach."
(G) Vigroderm
Shroud should probably have reminder text.
(G) Brobdingnagian Stature
"...if you cast it from your graveyard,..."
(G) Farhaven Beast-Calling
"Whenever a Wolf creature blocks this turn, it gets +2/+2 until end of turn."
(G) Growth-Sapping Elder
"Whenever a creature you control with a +1/+1 counter on it dies,..."
(G) Sweeping Evolution
See my comment for Sweeping Seizure.
(G) Rishandil the Omnific
"Flying; rampage 4"
(M) Blizzard Knight
See my comment for AEther Artist.
(M) Virulent Murkdiver
"Exile all cards from target player's graveyard."
(M) Fire Orb // Frozen Orb
Mentioning X on both halves of this split card creates some rather unintuitive rules interactions for some players.
(M) Energy Propagation
"...untap step."
(A) Altar of Imagination
Typically, +1/+1 counters and -1/-1 counters aren't used in the same set or block. Since you already have a ton of mechanics that you're using in your set, you should avoid using both kinds of counters in the same set to ease complexity.
(A) Staff of Slumber
"...untap step."
(A) Titanic Golem
See my comment for Simple Assassin.
(A) Grafdigger's Cage
Either:
a. "...cast spells..."
b. "...play cards..."
(A) Uncontrollable Obelisk
"You may choose not to sacrifice a creature due to its intensify ability."
(L) Boreal Alps, Dreadful Underpass, Serene Brook, Shipwreck Lagoon, Treacherous Fjord
1) These create huge memory issues and should have their memory issues alleviated.
2) "~ enters the battlefield tapped" and "As ~ enters the battlefield, ..." should be on two different lines.
3) Are these intended to be colored land cards? If not, they shouldn't have the color indicator on them.
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Most of the templating errors on your cards are minor oversights that you may have had due to tiredness or carelessness and can be easily fixed. Some, though, such as "channeling a card", need to be fixed as they don't function properly.
I highly, highly suggest cutting down on the number of keywords you want to use. Since your goal is synergistic cards, I highly encourage you to find just a few of the mechanics you've chosen that work well together and focus on making cards that feature those mechanics only. You can then distribute the remaining keywords that aren't used over the next sets in the block if you plan on expanding the set into a block or two.
Also, you should watch out for the power level and complexity of your commons. Some of them are extremely powerful and confusing to read upon first glance, and these should be monitored.
Lastly, any art renders that you post or link here need to have proper artist credit on them.
Overall, I think this is a set that has a lot of potential. There are already a few flavor hints that you've supplied with your cards, even with their lack of flavor text or anything else like that.
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How to use card tags (please use them for everybody's sanity)
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format Minimum deck size: 60 Maximum number of identical cards: 4 Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Thanks so much for such a thorough response! This is awesome! I will address all of the issues as soon as possible (and probably return for questions).
I highly, highly suggest cutting down on the number of keywords you want to use. Since your goal is synergistic cards, I highly encourage you to find just a few of the mechanics you've chosen that work well together and focus on making cards that feature those mechanics only. You can then distribute the remaining keywords that aren't used over the next sets in the block if you plan on expanding the set into a block or two.
I'm starting to think that I may have to bow to peer pressure and cut the extra keywords. Shouldn't be too hard, most of them are used sparingly.
(W) Simple Assassin
The term "channeling a card" has no rules meaning. I'm assuming an ability that triggers whenever a player "channels a card" triggers either whenever the channel ability is activated or when it resolves. However, the word "channel" is an ability word, meaning it has no rules meaning, so there can't be an effect that refers to the ability word in this way. You'd either have to go with something like "whenever you discard a card" or something similar, or "demote" channel into a keyword like forecast (which I don't recommend doing).
I assumed it could be added to the rules, similar to how "cycling" a card, but as you've stated it won't work quite so simply. A buddy of mine recommended changing it to discard a card to add extra play to the ability across multiple sets, which I think is the right fix for this.
(U) AEther Artist
Entwine doesn't work on triggered abilities, so you'd have to spell it out on the actual triggered ability rather than use entwine.
I think I found a fix. Reword the creatures with entwine to have "When you cast ~" instead of ETB trigger.
This wording makes the cards slightly weaker since it can't target itself with positive abilities. But it works with entwine (only defined for modal spells on the stack).
Tineye is a good reverse image search if you're looking for artist credit. Really though, it is very important you put artist credit there. It could get us all into trouble if you don't, and nobody wants that.
Really though, it is very important you put artist credit there. It could get us all into trouble if you don't, and nobody wants that.
I'm working on it. I'd also like to note that all images are hosted through my website, not MTGSalv. Also, every time I make a fix it will retroactively replace all old versions. This means that all old versions are replaced giving the proper credit.
(W) Draghir, the Battalion
1) "Put two tokens onto the battlefield that are copies of..." / "Exile those tokens at the beginning of the next end step."
2) Should this be legendary? It seems like it. If so, should it really be making copies of itself?
Your point is valid, it originally was legendary but then I removed it to make copies. Though it's not an adequate fix. This is how I decided to fix it:
(U) Taysir, Temporal Genius
1) "...return that creature to its owner's hand."
2) The emblem that the ultimate creates is rather unfun to play against. An emblem should impose a significant challenge for the opponent to win against, but the player should at least have fun doing so and shouldn't feel like they're constantly being denied a way to keep up with you.
It is a little bit of a jerk ability. I decided to fix the emblem to counter the first spell they play each turn, so at least they have a way out.
(G) Magical Clash
The term "survives" has no rules meaning. Either you need to define what it means for a creature to "survive" something, or you need to replace the word with something else.
Yes I was a little flippant with this design originally. Here is my fix (which should do what I intended).
(A) Altar of Imagination
Typically, +1/+1 counters and -1/-1 counters aren't used in the same set or block. Since you already have a ton of mechanics that you're using in your set, you should avoid using both kinds of counters in the same set to ease complexity.
I do realize this, but using both types of counters in this set is intentional due to the way the interactions work. Intensify makes creatures stronger every turn. But if they get too strong, they die. -1/-1 counters conveniently cancel with +1/+1 counters, so -1/-1 counters can cause your intensify creatures to last longer. Having both types of counters is the only way to really explore this interaction (which I personally love!).
Example:
Can keep an intensify creature alive indefinitely! (or function as slow repeatable removal)
(W) Disconcerting Battlement
What is the second ability supposed to mean? The defending player already gets to choose the order in which their creatures deal damage to the creatures that they're blocking.
I intended for the card to make it so that instead of your opponent assigning the damage order to your creature, you instead can work it in your favor. Example: Opponent attacks with Craw Wurm. I block with Grizzly Bears and Carven Caryatid. With this card, you can choose the damage assignment order so that Bears blocks first and Caryatid survives.
(L) Boreal Alps, Dreadful Underpass, Serene Brook, Shipwreck Lagoon, Treacherous Fjord
1) These create huge memory issues and should have their memory issues alleviated.
2) "~ enters the battlefield tapped" and "As ~ enters the battlefield, ..." should be on two different lines.
3) Are these intended to be colored land cards? If not, they shouldn't have the color indicator on them.
Yeah; I wanted it to work so badly, but it is just too complex. My temporary fix (I am still open to suggestions)
Also, you should watch out for the power level and complexity of your commons. Some of them are extremely powerful and confusing to read upon first glance, and these should be monitored.
I am curious as to which commons should be checked on? This is definitely something I want to think about closely.
Quite a nice bunch of cards, although I will have to agree that without cohesion it doesn't really seem like a set, more like a supplemental product to increase the card pool.
@Relentless: Did you test this mechanic? It looks really strong!!! You block, get the damage, or don't block and get the damage anyway.... It's like supertrample or something. I would pick the Noble Wolf over some rares all the time.
Quite a nice bunch of cards, although I will have to agree that without cohesion it doesn't really seem like a set, more like a supplemental product to increase the card pool.
Thanks!. True, I am working to make it feel more like a set as I cut back the keywords and work on flavor text. I think it will feel more creative and more complete after I work on this aspect some more.
@Relentless: Did you test this mechanic? It looks really strong!!! You block, get the damage, or don't block and get the damage anyway.... It's like supertrample or something. I would pick the Noble Wolf over some rares all the time.
I have yet to test relentless extensively. When creating it it did feel powerful, which is why I'm trying to be careful. The thing that I remember when I design a card is that the damage is guaranteed, whether it's blocked or not. It is strictly worse than "can't be blocked" though, as blocking is a choice. Though when it is blocked, it gets lots of value!
Looking at the cards in my set with relentless, it is very possible that some of them are busted. Quick analysis-
Cadet is conditional, if you have enough hex/equips it is quite efficient
Chimera is fine, as it already has some evasion and costs 5
The cur should be balanced, as it fails against first strike and trades with anything
Aggressive Wolf should be balanced at 3 toughness, but seems strong
Noble Wolf is great, probably the closest to unblockable
Conscription probably just steals something and makes it unblockable, solid for 4
Minotaur also conditional, discourages teaming up on him though
Just realizing I forgot to make a red rare with Relentless...will fix this.
Wurm is big, but should be fine costing 6
Alpha seems very powerful, as it is decently sized and can Channel situationally for some good damage
Shephard of Krug may be busted; not sure though. Needs to be tested.
Rumbler is huge, but kills the rest of your team. If opponent has removal you are totally boned, and if not it will guarantee lots of damage.
Nysk is may be busted as well. Is "Sword-y" as it gives +2/+2 and has a powerful guaranteed trigger. Though no protection leaves it vulnerable, also 3 to equip. Definitely need to test also.
Your set was great and was fully of many successes. This review is mostly flavor changes, minor edits and color pie related. Your only significant problems were:
1 - You do not need remainder text for evergreen keywords. This was a mainly a problem in back where remainder text applied inconsistently. (menace, intimidate, protection.)
2 - Gold cards should feel Gold and should not be printable as a mono-color card. (Angelfire Corona, Frost Wolf, Glacial Barrier, Taysir Sorceress).
3 - Meteor Shower is a color pie mistake. Green can only damage fliers and red is supposed to have problems with high toughness. 10 damage is to high.
4 - I do not believe Sweeping Seizure works within the rules without first exiling the cards you findand letting you play them from exile.
5 - You gave Red trample more frequently than you gave it to Green. Possibly switch some of those instances of trample to Relentless and make the cards slightly lower power/toughness to compensate.
Minor Things:
1 -The creature that get boosts when you discard a card feel like they should get +1/+1 instead of +1/+0
2 - Occasional Channel Cards that don't mirror the creatures effect when channeled. (Dragirs Chosen, Pack of Wolves)
3 -Channel should be either cheaper discard for an effect on the card OR discard for a bigger effect. Having a mix of both may feel slightly strange.
4 - Some minor word choices and minor color pie issues.
Your set has high power level which you knew. You need to test Hex and Intensify as they are potentially broken in the limited environment you want to create. Relentless is very good and is potentially broken in limited with Hex cards that boost power.U have found several possibly overpowered cards but I am otherwise unsure of color balance. Possible template and power level examples are below.
White
Beedevil should "exile target creature with a power or toughness of 3 or less".
Draighirs Chosen should exile target enchantment when it dies to match channel and answer Hex.
Combat Medics channel ability should match its static ability. "W, Discard; Prevent the next 3 damage that would be dealt to target creature or player this turn.
Skynet Griffen is pretty strong and potential Lava Axe (flying that shuts down attacks) that shuts down 1/1 and 2/2 attackers.
I feel Sublime Believer and Warden on the Omnipresent should swap rarities as white is not supposed to get many big creatures. Also swap Sublime Believers PT. This cycle feels out of place as it feels far to much like the "Exalted" mechanic you removed, and clashes with whites enchantment matters mechanic. for space. It think these might be better if you saved them for a set with Exalted.
Tenacious Disciple should have channel cost of 2W instead of 1WW as the Disciples needs only a single W in their converted mana cost. Maybe make channel only effect a single creature an alter accordingly.
People will be tempted to play Thariel Purists as though it has "Protection from enchantments you don't control.". Maybe change it to that. (WotC turned Shroud became Hex-proof for this reason).
Champion of End Times should exile creatures and all permanents attached to creatures when it dies as well to match channel with ability.
Mirror Sentry looks really good and potentially broken. Test it,
Perptual Vitality. Perhaps when it return put a +1/+1 counter on up to three target creatures you control so it feels more white and less green. Also the card will rarely end up in your graveyard.
Imperois Vision: Could it be worded as "Then return it either to the battlefield under its owners control or to its owners hand.
Thuvius the Omnipresent: Due to precedent it should say "Players can't cast spells during combat.". Red was fairer than that when it had the mechanic.
Darkcloud Raptor - Check with Intensity 3 instead. With 4 it does 2-3-4 damage to players without flying.
Pupill of Destiny. Maybe match up channel?
Ancient of Atmosphere. With Hex very good. With Brobdigan Stature in the set the putting the aura onto the battlefield for free risks being broken. And 2/3 is more blue than a 3/2.
Evolving Illusion - keeping track of which ability you haven chosen raises board complexity. Maybe make a base 2/2 who EtB with 2 +1/+1 counters if flying, 1 +1/+1 if hexproof so if entwine gets 3 +1/+1 counters.
Never Ending Serpent. Intensity looks way to high. Dies at turn 14. Feels more green than blue.
Power of Replication - Dangerous with Intensify creatures as removes the drawback by stacking triggers during upkeep to turn into something without Intensify before the last +1/+1 counter ability resolves.
Clairvoyant heroes ability to ruin opponents draws looks very unfun in limited if got out on turn 2 as you can see if mana screwed or flooded and act accordingly. Late games equally devastating by denying them nonlands.
Sweeping seizure should exile the cards found just after options, followed by the "You may cast" ability. that way cards go somewhere you can play them from. Spelljack and all other play without paying mana cost work this way.
void leverage. Remove the haste granting as bleed from red. Blue doesn't do it anymore.
Sorestruss. Blue rarely gets trample and this card doesn't need it with evasion and lockdown ability.
Maybe when Festering hulk dies it gives a -1/-1 counter to match abilities.
Slayer of Myth - Remove Intimidates flavor text as evergreen. The card Feels like he should have deathtouch as well to match Planeswalker killing. Possible replace Intimidate with Menace?
Two Headed Plaguehound - Menace is evergreen. You don't need remainder text.
Unholy Charm - Remove Intimidate or replace it with Menace. (Intidate works on creatures colour so more confusing and as good as match up colours)
Patron of Misery - does not remaninder text for protection from black. Should read "whenever you put a +1/+1 counter on Patron of Misery, other creatures get -x/-x until end of turn were X is the number of +1/+1 on Patron of Misery."
Sweeping Misery - is there any point playing this after turn six "target player sacrifices 5 creatures".
Venal Apostle - Does he really need the "at random" clause. Great anyway/
Ataluk the necrolord could be worded as "that was put there this turn from the battlefield"?
Kugerian - No "0: Regenerat". At least make it B or 1. Still very powerful on the play on turn 3. He has three power, is almost impossible to kill and steals chump blockers. The arts empty background looks really bad and possibly swap with Infernal Curr, Photoshop a new background or find new art.
Does Armed Brigand need haste. Its already pretty good. If anything replace haste with "attacks each turn if able." (turn 1 armed brigand, turned 2 lightning infusion, hurts alots.)
-if need haste give it to ghoulish goblin.
Lumbering Ogre - most players dislike coin flipping. Consider this as reason WotC doesn't use this mechanic at common.
Warden of Indignation is dangerous. A 2/3 doesn't feel red. The card should be uncommon to make it and lightning infusion (maddening visions) combo harder. The cost should probably be 1RR (compare with Two Headed Cerebus a canon 1RR Double Striking 1/2 common and Boros Swiftblade.
Discerning Highpaw - Why not change to just "except the first one he or she drew this turn, Discerning Highpaw deals 1 damage to that player". Less wordy and in practise the same effect.
Rampaging Manticore - has wings, does not fly. Causes confusion according to MaRo.
Alpine Espirit - see the kamigawa Genju cycle. Could be uncommon.
Dynamite Courier too good for red. Maybe change second ability "when it becomes blocked, sacrifice it at the end of combat." or sacrifice without doing damage. His drawback really isn't one and a R 2/2 Relentess creature is to good for red.
Foolish Ritualist also too good. It replaces itself, does 4 damage to opponent and usually trades with a creature. And if it survives more than one turn winning becomes more or less impossible.
Sweeping Quake - Should deal damage to creatures without flying, not destroy them. Red either gets destroy all creatures or damage all nonfliers. It deals damage to creatures and can deal Y damage to each creature without flying.
Aurions automatic defense is a little strong.
Abound is in-elegant and should probably by +2/+2. Same possibly applies for green Intensift creatures with nonmatching power and toughness as makes calculations take longer (This is why */* is prefered to */*+1)
Aroma-Sensing Hound could just be a creature with flash and EtB card drawing. As a token its not as powerful and cards look better than tokens on the battlefield. Also should not be called Hound in the name as its a wolf, not a hound.
Cave spider is a functional reprint of Canopy Spider. Why not just reprint Canopy Spider and mention the canopy is dark. This align flavor with Spider Inspirit. And you did reprint terramorphic expanse.
Fade to antiquity feels to white. Since green needs a Hex answer, maybe destroy an artifact or enchantment, then remove all artifacts and enchantment in controllers graveyard from the game (or then remove an artifact or enchantment in that players graveyard from the game.)
Magical Clash - Have you considered the Fungusaur style wording (- Fight. Then put a +1/+1 counter on each of those creature.) If they're dead they don't get stronger and there less memory issues than waiting for the end step.
Maturing Wolf is very big for a maturing wolf. Maybe call it mature wolf as its larger than almost every other wolf in the set. And probably reduce the Intensify number as by turn nine will rarely matter in limited. Or 3/3 pt for elegance.
Fungal Wolf has reach makes no flavor/Vorthos sense. Maybe swap text with Highpaw lookout (fungus gives life, lookout has reach and deathtouch if enchanted?)
Maybe swap art for Hook Parasite and Monstrousity of Deepwood as HP has flying in the art but lacks flying/reach. MD has reach but is on the ground.
Pack of Wolves channel feels off as better than the creature itself and does not match the cards non channel ability. Maybe etb gives you a wolf for each creature you control instead of attack trigger. Or channel gives each creature +x/0+ for each wolf control until end of turn as channel feels like should match text.
Wolf hunt feels like it should work the other way (two of your creatures fight an opponents creature, theme of your wolves banding together to hunt single enemy.)
Aluria two abilities don't match. Either playing a creature gives your all creatures +1/+1 counters, OR aura gives Aluria and enchanted creature +1/+1.
Brobdigan Stature does not need trample. Its enough of a limited bomb. Maybe switch it to a fight trigger.
Farhaven Beast Callings the two sentences should be on separate lines. The second line should read "Until end of turn, whenever a wolf creature blocks, it gains +2/+2 until end of turn."
Growth Sappling - change to "that creatures +1/+1 counters on Growth Sappling". Card drawing ability could be made more coostly or dropped, the card is already pretty good without it.
Ranshil is great but does it really need the "can't be blocked by more than creature" ability as well as flying?
Palatial Hydra is AWESOME but with no palace in art maybe give it a better name? Judging by art maybe Cloudbreaker Hydra?
Angelfire Corona could be monowhite. Maybe give Haste as well.
Frostwolf could also be monowhite without channel ability and white gets instants that give +2/+3 and lifelink. Maybe add trample to creature and the channel.
Maybe tweak Auramancer boost to +2/+2 for each aura instead +3/+3. With Hex you should be getting auras on it without any of the the card disadvantage costs you'd normally have.
Glacial Barricade doesn't feel blue with exile ability being white despite good in limited. (shuts down aggro) Maybe shift dying ability to freezing ", tap up to X target creatures where X is the number of +1/+1 counters on GC. Those creature don't
Hellfire. Black is secondary in haste so doesn't feel red enough. To stop feeling like a black card with red activated ability maybe you should give it Firebreathing. It should not have both trample and relentless. Maybe remove haste/trample and just give it firebreathing and relentless. The relentless ability shouldn't compete the shade.
Meteor blast breaks the colour pie. Green does not get nonflying creature destruction and reds weakness is high toughness creatures. Shift it to only hitting a creature with flying or a fireball/hurricane variant if possible or something? (destroy target creature with flying (G). Meteor blast deals damage equal to its power to its controller and each other creature they control (R) - 5 damage divided among number of creatures without flying (red), 5 damage divided among number of players and creatures with flying (green). - Or give it the allurian arrows ability.
Rewrite History's creature exiling imbalances it towards white and same set as champion of end days. Maybe destroy creature and exile all auras and artifact.
Taysir Sorceress does not feel blue due to blue losing the Prodigal Sorcerer ability. Make add taping to the Tim ability. Maybe make it "T: tap up target creature. Taysir sorceress deals damage equal to the number of +1/+1 counters on it to that creature.
Virulent Murkdrivers channel ability and main ability don't match. Make first ability exile all cards or make Channel remove two.
Land and Artifacts
Automated Contrapation dearg trigger and channel don't match. When it dies it should put a CARD in your graveyard on top of your library so both recur self or another card.
Demonic Hellsword is awesome.
Could Uncontrolled obelisk activated ability refer to X in the cost? - I am also very wary of letting the Intesnify creature grow indefinitely.
Garded Passage can lose "and Gaurden Passage isuntapped". Makes it less wordy and make no practical different (if tapped animation useless).
Why is Anaba Ruins red. Why not give colourless mana so less tied to colour identity/strong. Already looks very powerful.
My focus currently is on making a fun balanced limited environment. I want the format to be great for drafting and sealed deck (the goal is to play it IRL). It is the first set of a potential block. I will begin playtesting with some friends as soon as possible. Some basic Voyage mechanics.
Three new keywords:
=====================================
Some cards to maybe get you interested:
I'm looking for help:
=====================================
Revisions/Updates:
I am working on properly crediting artists.{WCompleted}I am working on flavor text.{Completed}I am working on revisions posted by users to help with careless templating or ruling errors.{Completed}I am cutting back on some keywords that only appeared for flavor reasons. (REMOVED - Exalted, Fateseal, Ninjutsu, Wither, Phyrexian mana, Bloodthirst, Rampage, Hybrid mana){Completed}I am working on changing the style to M15.{Completed}Special Thanks To:
Completed sets:
Iamur — The Underwater Set
Overworld — Pirates vs. Octopuses
Esparand — The Sands of Time
Unfinished Sets:
Siege of Ravnica — Eldrazi in Ravnica
Shandalar — The Mana Set
Iamur Reimagined — Iamur v2
You can find more creative projects on my page Antaresdesigns!
Good point, I haven't gotten around to flavor text. Though this has absolutely zero impact on the cards' playability. Putting in flavor text takes a lot of work, and I don't find it particularly enjoyable or relevant.
Having many keywords is a personal preference. I don't believe in "too many keywords" (except for plainswalk and islandhome). I think that there is so much creative room for certain mechanics beyond what has been designed by WOTC. For example, Channel is one of my favorite abilities of all time, and the existing cards with Channel are very lacking. I understand the reasoning behind not having more than five or six keywords per set; WOTC doesn't want to confuse their new players with too many keywords. However, I am not a new player nor do I play with new players. I do not think that having lots of keywords detracts from gameplay. Of course, this could never be a real MTG set, but that is not my personal concern (though I understand the compulsion to design a set with only a small amount of mechanics).
Update: After more thought, I do think it is the right choice to abandon some of these keywords. Many of them appeared specifically for flavor purposes, and I will find a non-keyworded way to deal with it.
I completely disagree with you when you say that they are just a bunch of cards which aren't connected by anything (since it's simply not true). Many of the cards were designed specifically for synergistic interaction with one another. I won't waste my time explaining these connections. I feel like you said this just because there are lots of keywords, and perhaps because you didn't take much time to fully consider the interactions that exist in the set. And I don't blame you, why should you spend hours exploring my fake set? Maybe it's all of the boring gap-fillers? (bland cards are used to fill certain limited roles, like CMC curving or creature/spell ratio). In any real magic set there are loads of basic gap-filling cards.
This is a little thing, but generally on an Entwine card, the choices go above the Entwine cost (It's nitpicky, but...)
I have to agree what Ryder052 said above about certain things:
This set needs flavor text. I know that since your set is a bottom-up design (mechanics first, flavor later) that it may seem unnecessary, but to have it be a standalone set, I need to feel/see some kind of story. It doesn't have to be super deep, but it would be nice.
Also, credit the artists! I really like some of the art that you used, and even though you never took credit for it, I'm not able to give credit to the artist that made the piece. It's more of a courtesy thing to the artist.
And now for the mechanics. I see both the pros and cons of having your set have a bunch of mechanics, but generally mechanics need to develop over a BLOCK, not a set. A good example would be Return to Ravnica to Dragon's Maze. Dragon's Maze had a very good limited format (personally), and it managed to incorporate ELEVEN mechanics in a small set. Now the reason for this was that the previous mechanics already had been established in the previous sets (Return to Ravnica and Gatecrash), so players didn't get overwhelmed.
In the case of your set, having 15 mechanics seems excessive. I'm definitely not new to Magic, and it wasn't just that the designs were bad, but I was a little... shall we say overwhelmed by cards. This level of complexity within a limited format is bad for the format. Imagine that you are a new player about to play your set, but you are too confused by it. You have to learn fifteen mechanics before you are able to even build a deck. Unfortunately, you might think it's too hard, and just quit. Remember that a set needs to appeal to both new players and experienced pros.
Your set isn't bad, it's actually very good, but it's not really a set in the traditional term. This is more on par with Modern Masters 1 & 2, but those sets are entirely made up with reprints and serve a definitive purpose.
I'll review some of the specific cards later and see if anything stands out or needs to be fixed. I enjoyed looking at this, but take this with a pinch of salt.
Hope this helps!
MY DECKS
Standard
BBBMono Black DevotionBBB
Modern
WUBEsper Token/SuperfriendsWUB
Commander (EDH)
WBRKaalia of the VastWBR
Custom Set - Kolros, the Mana Distortion
Yes this is a problem. The story is not deep whatsoever, and that is one of my personal weaknesses.
I appreciate your time and help! It is definitely non-traditional and definitely needs more work still!
(W) Simple Assassin
The term "channeling a card" has no rules meaning. I'm assuming an ability that triggers whenever a player "channels a card" triggers either whenever the channel ability is activated or when it resolves. However, the word "channel" is an ability word, meaning it has no rules meaning, so there can't be an effect that refers to the ability word in this way. You'd either have to go with something like "whenever you discard a card" or something similar, or "demote" channel into a keyword like forecast (which I don't recommend doing).
(W) Studious Templar
"As ~ enters the battlefield, choose a color..."
(W) Transitory Seraph
"...return it to its owner's hand."
(W) Valiant Crusader
You might want to spell out what detain actually does. It shouldn't be expected that players automatically know what "detain" means in Magic.
(W) Wayward Siren
The ability won't actually do anything. By the time the triggered ability is put onto the stack, all the Auras attached to it will have either already become creatures again (with bestow Auras) or be put into a graveyard (with all other Auras). There will no longer be any "Auras attached to [Wayward Siren]" any more.
(W) Combat Melder
"If ~ would be dealt damage, prevent 3 of that damage."
(W) Disconcerting Battlement
What is the second ability supposed to mean? The defending player already gets to choose the order in which their creatures deal damage to the creatures that they're blocking.
(W) Draghir, the Battalion
1) "Put two tokens onto the battlefield that are copies of..." / "Exile those tokens at the beginning of the next end step."
2) Should this be legendary? It seems like it. If so, should it really be making copies of itself?
(W) Piercing Sun
"Target player can't cast spells..."
(W) Sweeping Revival
Should this target? I feel as though it should target.
(W) Thariel, Herald of Arcanum
The second ability creates some rather weird rules interactions. For example, what happens if Perpetual Vitality is cast from the graveyard, resolves, and becomes attached to my Elite Vanguard while I control Thariel? Which creature gets the counters?
(W) Thuvius the Omnipresent
"Flying; exalted" (If two keyword abilities are listed on the same line, the latter of which has reminder text, they should be separated by a semicolon rather than a comma.)
(U) AEther Artist
Entwine doesn't work on triggered abilities, so you'd have to spell it out on the actual triggered ability rather than use entwine.
(U) Drake Cultist
"Whenever ~ is dealt damage, each player puts that many cards from the top of his or her library into his or her graveyard."
(U) Fierce Chimera
See my comment for Thuvius the Omnipresent.
(U) Honored Aven
See my comment for Simple Assassin.
(U) Phantasmal Ogre
Either:
a. "When ~ is the target of a spell or ability,..." (This is a state-triggered ability that will keep triggering as long as a spell or ability on the stack is targeting it.)
b. "Whenever ~ becomes the target of a spell or ability,..." (This is a regular triggered ability that will only trigger once, when the creature is first chosen as a target of a spell or ability, much like the heroic ability.)
(U) Pupil of Destiny
"...draw a card, then discard a card."
(U) Subliminal Force
1) "...to its owner's hand."
2) Shroud should probably have reminder text.
(U) Warden of the Vociferous
"Whenever ~ blocks or becomes blocked by a creature,..."
(U) Evolving Illusion
"~ gains flying [or hexproof]. (This effect lasts indefinitely.)"
Also see my comment for AEther Artist.
(U) Power of Replication
"At the beginning of your upkeep, enchanted creature becomes a copy of target creature and gains 'This creature can't be blocked.'"
(U) Spell Shield
"Enchant permanent"
(U) Clairvoyant Hero
Rather than use both scry and fateseal and have it be a modal ability, why not just combine the two mechanics and write out how the ability should work? You save a lot more room that way.
(U) Sweeping Seizure
You should probably reformat the card a little bit, as it's extremely hard to read:
"Search from among your opponents' libraries for an artifact, creature, enchantment, instant, and sorcery card and cast them without paying their mana costs. Each player whose library you searched this way shuffles it."
As this is a rare, I don't think choosing between artifact or enchantment and instant or sorcery is very needed, nor is the difference between "put onto battlefield" and "cast" very important, either.
(U) Taysir, Temporal Genius
1) "...return that creature to its owner's hand."
2) The emblem that the ultimate creates is rather unfun to play against. An emblem should impose a significant challenge for the opponent to win against, but the player should at least have fun doing so and shouldn't feel like they're constantly being denied a way to keep up with you.
(B) Apothecary Reaper
See my comments for Simple Assassin and Honored Aven.
(B) Plagued Vermin
See my comments for AEther Artist and Evolving Illusion.
(B) Bitter Desolation
"...sacrifice X lands."
(B) Consumed Slayer
"Each player chooses two creatures he or she controls, then sacrifices the rest."
(B) Two-Headed Plaguehound
You can use menace here. You're already using scry in its evergreen form, so there's no reason not to use another evergreen keyword in here.
(B) Unholy Charm
It seems odd that you're both using scry as a keyword and intimidate as a keyword, when those two have never been on the evergreen keyword list concurrently.
(B) Corrupt Perceptions
"...if you cast it from your graveyard,..."
(B) Halphas, Herald of Ill Will
Hex should probably have reminder text alongside it.
(R) Aggressive Wolf
See my comment for AEther Artist.
(R) Basalt Horror
See my comment for Simple Assassin.
(R) Hungnagoth Firebeast
"Activate this ability only once per turn."
(R) Energy Fissure
See my comment for Simple Assassin.
(R) Foolish Ritualist
"When you play it this turn,..."
(R) Prismatic Phoenix
This doesn't quite work like you expect it to. Because paying a hex cost also involves the Aura card with hex being put onto the stack, during the resolution of the ability, there is no Aura (permanent) for the ability to attach onto the creature. It needs to say something like the following:
"Whenever you pay a card's hex cost, you may [...] attach the permanent it becomes to ~."
(R) Sweeping Quake
See my comment for Sweeping Seizure.
(R) Aureon, Tempest Empress
"You may choose new targets for the copy."
(R) Sehmar the Indignant
"Flying; bloodthirst 1"
(G) Highpaw Lookout
"You gain 4 life."
(G) Magical Clash
The term "survives" has no rules meaning. Either you need to define what it means for a creature to "survive" something, or you need to replace the word with something else.
(G) Monstrosity of the Deepgrove
"Search your library for up to two basic land cards, reveal them, put them into your hand, then shuffle your library."
(G) Viridian Outlaw
See my comment for AEther Artist.
(G) Wurm Battle-Breaker
See my comment for Simple Assassin.
(G) Pack of Wolves
Does the +1/+0 last permanently or until end of turn?
(G) Spider Inspirit
"Enchanted creature gets +0/+3 and has reach."
(G) Vigroderm
Shroud should probably have reminder text.
(G) Brobdingnagian Stature
"...if you cast it from your graveyard,..."
(G) Farhaven Beast-Calling
"Whenever a Wolf creature blocks this turn, it gets +2/+2 until end of turn."
(G) Growth-Sapping Elder
"Whenever a creature you control with a +1/+1 counter on it dies,..."
(G) Sweeping Evolution
See my comment for Sweeping Seizure.
(G) Rishandil the Omnific
"Flying; rampage 4"
(M) Blizzard Knight
See my comment for AEther Artist.
(M) Virulent Murkdiver
"Exile all cards from target player's graveyard."
(M) Fire Orb // Frozen Orb
Mentioning X on both halves of this split card creates some rather unintuitive rules interactions for some players.
(M) Energy Propagation
"...untap step."
(A) Altar of Imagination
Typically, +1/+1 counters and -1/-1 counters aren't used in the same set or block. Since you already have a ton of mechanics that you're using in your set, you should avoid using both kinds of counters in the same set to ease complexity.
(A) Staff of Slumber
"...untap step."
(A) Titanic Golem
See my comment for Simple Assassin.
(A) Grafdigger's Cage
Either:
a. "...cast spells..."
b. "...play cards..."
(A) Uncontrollable Obelisk
"You may choose not to sacrifice a creature due to its intensify ability."
(L) Boreal Alps, Dreadful Underpass, Serene Brook, Shipwreck Lagoon, Treacherous Fjord
1) These create huge memory issues and should have their memory issues alleviated.
2) "~ enters the battlefield tapped" and "As ~ enters the battlefield, ..." should be on two different lines.
3) Are these intended to be colored land cards? If not, they shouldn't have the color indicator on them.
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Most of the templating errors on your cards are minor oversights that you may have had due to tiredness or carelessness and can be easily fixed. Some, though, such as "channeling a card", need to be fixed as they don't function properly.
I highly, highly suggest cutting down on the number of keywords you want to use. Since your goal is synergistic cards, I highly encourage you to find just a few of the mechanics you've chosen that work well together and focus on making cards that feature those mechanics only. You can then distribute the remaining keywords that aren't used over the next sets in the block if you plan on expanding the set into a block or two.
Also, you should watch out for the power level and complexity of your commons. Some of them are extremely powerful and confusing to read upon first glance, and these should be monitored.
Lastly, any art renders that you post or link here need to have proper artist credit on them.
Overall, I think this is a set that has a lot of potential. There are already a few flavor hints that you've supplied with your cards, even with their lack of flavor text or anything else like that.
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format
Minimum deck size: 60
Maximum number of identical cards: 4
Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Thanks so much for such a thorough response! This is awesome! I will address all of the issues as soon as possible (and probably return for questions).
I'm starting to think that I may have to bow to peer pressure and cut the extra keywords. Shouldn't be too hard, most of them are used sparingly.
I assumed it could be added to the rules, similar to how "cycling" a card, but as you've stated it won't work quite so simply. A buddy of mine recommended changing it to discard a card to add extra play to the ability across multiple sets, which I think is the right fix for this.
I think I found a fix. Reword the creatures with entwine to have "When you cast ~" instead of ETB trigger.
This wording makes the cards slightly weaker since it can't target itself with positive abilities. But it works with entwine (only defined for modal spells on the stack).
My custom sets:
Caeia Block (Released - Beta)
Generals of Dareth (In Design)
This is absolutely fantastic. I will be able to fix this much faster! You are the man.
I'm working on it. I'd also like to note that all images are hosted through my website, not MTGSalv. Also, every time I make a fix it will retroactively replace all old versions. This means that all old versions are replaced giving the proper credit.
Your point is valid, it originally was legendary but then I removed it to make copies. Though it's not an adequate fix. This is how I decided to fix it:
It is a little bit of a jerk ability. I decided to fix the emblem to counter the first spell they play each turn, so at least they have a way out.
Yes I was a little flippant with this design originally. Here is my fix (which should do what I intended).
My fix for this was simple..
I do realize this, but using both types of counters in this set is intentional due to the way the interactions work. Intensify makes creatures stronger every turn. But if they get too strong, they die. -1/-1 counters conveniently cancel with +1/+1 counters, so -1/-1 counters can cause your intensify creatures to last longer. Having both types of counters is the only way to really explore this interaction (which I personally love!).
Example:
Can keep an intensify creature alive indefinitely! (or function as slow repeatable removal)
I intended for the card to make it so that instead of your opponent assigning the damage order to your creature, you instead can work it in your favor. Example: Opponent attacks with Craw Wurm. I block with Grizzly Bears and Carven Caryatid. With this card, you can choose the damage assignment order so that Bears blocks first and Caryatid survives.
I think this wording does what I intend:
This is a reprint (exactly as worded in errata)
Yeah; I wanted it to work so badly, but it is just too complex. My temporary fix (I am still open to suggestions)
I am curious as to which commons should be checked on? This is definitely something I want to think about closely.
@Relentless: Did you test this mechanic? It looks really strong!!! You block, get the damage, or don't block and get the damage anyway.... It's like supertrample or something. I would pick the Noble Wolf over some rares all the time.
Thanks!. True, I am working to make it feel more like a set as I cut back the keywords and work on flavor text. I think it will feel more creative and more complete after I work on this aspect some more.
I have yet to test relentless extensively. When creating it it did feel powerful, which is why I'm trying to be careful. The thing that I remember when I design a card is that the damage is guaranteed, whether it's blocked or not. It is strictly worse than "can't be blocked" though, as blocking is a choice. Though when it is blocked, it gets lots of value!
Looking at the cards in my set with relentless, it is very possible that some of them are busted. Quick analysis-
Your set was great and was fully of many successes. This review is mostly flavor changes, minor edits and color pie related. Your only significant problems were:
1 - You do not need remainder text for evergreen keywords. This was a mainly a problem in back where remainder text applied inconsistently. (menace, intimidate, protection.)
2 - Gold cards should feel Gold and should not be printable as a mono-color card. (Angelfire Corona, Frost Wolf, Glacial Barrier, Taysir Sorceress).
3 - Meteor Shower is a color pie mistake. Green can only damage fliers and red is supposed to have problems with high toughness. 10 damage is to high.
4 - I do not believe Sweeping Seizure works within the rules without first exiling the cards you findand letting you play them from exile.
5 - You gave Red trample more frequently than you gave it to Green. Possibly switch some of those instances of trample to Relentless and make the cards slightly lower power/toughness to compensate.
Minor Things:
1 -The creature that get boosts when you discard a card feel like they should get +1/+1 instead of +1/+0
2 - Occasional Channel Cards that don't mirror the creatures effect when channeled. (Dragirs Chosen, Pack of Wolves)
3 -Channel should be either cheaper discard for an effect on the card OR discard for a bigger effect. Having a mix of both may feel slightly strange.
4 - Some minor word choices and minor color pie issues.
Your set has high power level which you knew. You need to test Hex and Intensify as they are potentially broken in the limited environment you want to create. Relentless is very good and is potentially broken in limited with Hex cards that boost power.U have found several possibly overpowered cards but I am otherwise unsure of color balance. Possible template and power level examples are below.
Beedevil should "exile target creature with a power or toughness of 3 or less".
Draighirs Chosen should exile target enchantment when it dies to match channel and answer Hex.
Combat Medics channel ability should match its static ability. "W, Discard; Prevent the next 3 damage that would be dealt to target creature or player this turn.
Skynet Griffen is pretty strong and potential Lava Axe (flying that shuts down attacks) that shuts down 1/1 and 2/2 attackers.
I feel Sublime Believer and Warden on the Omnipresent should swap rarities as white is not supposed to get many big creatures. Also swap Sublime Believers PT. This cycle feels out of place as it feels far to much like the "Exalted" mechanic you removed, and clashes with whites enchantment matters mechanic. for space. It think these might be better if you saved them for a set with Exalted.
Tenacious Disciple should have channel cost of 2W instead of 1WW as the Disciples needs only a single W in their converted mana cost. Maybe make channel only effect a single creature an alter accordingly.
People will be tempted to play Thariel Purists as though it has "Protection from enchantments you don't control.". Maybe change it to that. (WotC turned Shroud became Hex-proof for this reason).
Champion of End Times should exile creatures and all permanents attached to creatures when it dies as well to match channel with ability.
Mirror Sentry looks really good and potentially broken. Test it,
Perptual Vitality. Perhaps when it return put a +1/+1 counter on up to three target creatures you control so it feels more white and less green. Also the card will rarely end up in your graveyard.
Imperois Vision: Could it be worded as "Then return it either to the battlefield under its owners control or to its owners hand.
Thuvius the Omnipresent: Due to precedent it should say "Players can't cast spells during combat.". Red was fairer than that when it had the mechanic.
Darkcloud Raptor - Check with Intensity 3 instead. With 4 it does 2-3-4 damage to players without flying.
Pupill of Destiny. Maybe match up channel?
Ancient of Atmosphere. With Hex very good. With Brobdigan Stature in the set the putting the aura onto the battlefield for free risks being broken. And 2/3 is more blue than a 3/2.
Evolving Illusion - keeping track of which ability you haven chosen raises board complexity. Maybe make a base 2/2 who EtB with 2 +1/+1 counters if flying, 1 +1/+1 if hexproof so if entwine gets 3 +1/+1 counters.
Never Ending Serpent. Intensity looks way to high. Dies at turn 14. Feels more green than blue.
Power of Replication - Dangerous with Intensify creatures as removes the drawback by stacking triggers during upkeep to turn into something without Intensify before the last +1/+1 counter ability resolves.
Clairvoyant heroes ability to ruin opponents draws looks very unfun in limited if got out on turn 2 as you can see if mana screwed or flooded and act accordingly. Late games equally devastating by denying them nonlands.
Sweeping seizure should exile the cards found just after options, followed by the "You may cast" ability. that way cards go somewhere you can play them from. Spelljack and all other play without paying mana cost work this way.
void leverage. Remove the haste granting as bleed from red. Blue doesn't do it anymore.
Sorestruss. Blue rarely gets trample and this card doesn't need it with evasion and lockdown ability.
Taysirs temporal genuise's automatic defence looks quite strong.
Maybe when Festering hulk dies it gives a -1/-1 counter to match abilities.
Slayer of Myth - Remove Intimidates flavor text as evergreen. The card Feels like he should have deathtouch as well to match Planeswalker killing. Possible replace Intimidate with Menace?
Two Headed Plaguehound - Menace is evergreen. You don't need remainder text.
Unholy Charm - Remove Intimidate or replace it with Menace. (Intidate works on creatures colour so more confusing and as good as match up colours)
Patron of Misery - does not remaninder text for protection from black. Should read "whenever you put a +1/+1 counter on Patron of Misery, other creatures get -x/-x until end of turn were X is the number of +1/+1 on Patron of Misery."
Sweeping Misery - is there any point playing this after turn six "target player sacrifices 5 creatures".
Venal Apostle - Does he really need the "at random" clause. Great anyway/
Ataluk the necrolord could be worded as "that was put there this turn from the battlefield"?
Kugerian - No "0: Regenerat". At least make it B or 1. Still very powerful on the play on turn 3. He has three power, is almost impossible to kill and steals chump blockers. The arts empty background looks really bad and possibly swap with Infernal Curr, Photoshop a new background or find new art.
Does Armed Brigand need haste. Its already pretty good. If anything replace haste with "attacks each turn if able." (turn 1 armed brigand, turned 2 lightning infusion, hurts alots.)
-if need haste give it to ghoulish goblin.
Lumbering Ogre - most players dislike coin flipping. Consider this as reason WotC doesn't use this mechanic at common.
Warden of Indignation is dangerous. A 2/3 doesn't feel red. The card should be uncommon to make it and lightning infusion (maddening visions) combo harder. The cost should probably be 1RR (compare with Two Headed Cerebus a canon 1RR Double Striking 1/2 common and Boros Swiftblade.
Discerning Highpaw - Why not change to just "except the first one he or she drew this turn, Discerning Highpaw deals 1 damage to that player". Less wordy and in practise the same effect.
Rampaging Manticore - has wings, does not fly. Causes confusion according to MaRo.
Alpine Espirit - see the kamigawa Genju cycle. Could be uncommon.
Dynamite Courier too good for red. Maybe change second ability "when it becomes blocked, sacrifice it at the end of combat." or sacrifice without doing damage. His drawback really isn't one and a R 2/2 Relentess creature is to good for red.
Foolish Ritualist also too good. It replaces itself, does 4 damage to opponent and usually trades with a creature. And if it survives more than one turn winning becomes more or less impossible.
Sweeping Quake - Should deal damage to creatures without flying, not destroy them. Red either gets destroy all creatures or damage all nonfliers. It deals damage to creatures and can deal Y damage to each creature without flying.
Aurions automatic defense is a little strong.
Abound is in-elegant and should probably by +2/+2. Same possibly applies for green Intensift creatures with nonmatching power and toughness as makes calculations take longer (This is why */* is prefered to */*+1)
Aroma-Sensing Hound could just be a creature with flash and EtB card drawing. As a token its not as powerful and cards look better than tokens on the battlefield. Also should not be called Hound in the name as its a wolf, not a hound.
Cave spider is a functional reprint of Canopy Spider. Why not just reprint Canopy Spider and mention the canopy is dark. This align flavor with Spider Inspirit. And you did reprint terramorphic expanse.
Fade to antiquity feels to white. Since green needs a Hex answer, maybe destroy an artifact or enchantment, then remove all artifacts and enchantment in controllers graveyard from the game (or then remove an artifact or enchantment in that players graveyard from the game.)
Magical Clash - Have you considered the Fungusaur style wording (- Fight. Then put a +1/+1 counter on each of those creature.) If they're dead they don't get stronger and there less memory issues than waiting for the end step.
Maturing Wolf is very big for a maturing wolf. Maybe call it mature wolf as its larger than almost every other wolf in the set. And probably reduce the Intensify number as by turn nine will rarely matter in limited. Or 3/3 pt for elegance.
Fungal Wolf has reach makes no flavor/Vorthos sense. Maybe swap text with Highpaw lookout (fungus gives life, lookout has reach and deathtouch if enchanted?)
Maybe swap art for Hook Parasite and Monstrousity of Deepwood as HP has flying in the art but lacks flying/reach. MD has reach but is on the ground.
Pack of Wolves channel feels off as better than the creature itself and does not match the cards non channel ability. Maybe etb gives you a wolf for each creature you control instead of attack trigger. Or channel gives each creature +x/0+ for each wolf control until end of turn as channel feels like should match text.
Wolf hunt feels like it should work the other way (two of your creatures fight an opponents creature, theme of your wolves banding together to hunt single enemy.)
Aluria two abilities don't match. Either playing a creature gives your all creatures +1/+1 counters, OR aura gives Aluria and enchanted creature +1/+1.
Brobdigan Stature does not need trample. Its enough of a limited bomb. Maybe switch it to a fight trigger.
Farhaven Beast Callings the two sentences should be on separate lines. The second line should read "Until end of turn, whenever a wolf creature blocks, it gains +2/+2 until end of turn."
Growth Sappling - change to "that creatures +1/+1 counters on Growth Sappling". Card drawing ability could be made more coostly or dropped, the card is already pretty good without it.
Ranshil is great but does it really need the "can't be blocked by more than creature" ability as well as flying?
Palatial Hydra is AWESOME but with no palace in art maybe give it a better name? Judging by art maybe Cloudbreaker Hydra?
Angelfire Corona could be monowhite. Maybe give Haste as well.
Frostwolf could also be monowhite without channel ability and white gets instants that give +2/+3 and lifelink. Maybe add trample to creature and the channel.
Maybe tweak Auramancer boost to +2/+2 for each aura instead +3/+3. With Hex you should be getting auras on it without any of the the card disadvantage costs you'd normally have.
Glacial Barricade doesn't feel blue with exile ability being white despite good in limited. (shuts down aggro) Maybe shift dying ability to freezing ", tap up to X target creatures where X is the number of +1/+1 counters on GC. Those creature don't
Hellfire. Black is secondary in haste so doesn't feel red enough. To stop feeling like a black card with red activated ability maybe you should give it Firebreathing. It should not have both trample and relentless. Maybe remove haste/trample and just give it firebreathing and relentless. The relentless ability shouldn't compete the shade.
Meteor blast breaks the colour pie. Green does not get nonflying creature destruction and reds weakness is high toughness creatures. Shift it to only hitting a creature with flying or a fireball/hurricane variant if possible or something? (destroy target creature with flying (G). Meteor blast deals damage equal to its power to its controller and each other creature they control (R) - 5 damage divided among number of creatures without flying (red), 5 damage divided among number of players and creatures with flying (green). - Or give it the allurian arrows ability.
Rewrite History's creature exiling imbalances it towards white and same set as champion of end days. Maybe destroy creature and exile all auras and artifact.
Taysir Sorceress does not feel blue due to blue losing the Prodigal Sorcerer ability. Make add taping to the Tim ability. Maybe make it "T: tap up target creature. Taysir sorceress deals damage equal to the number of +1/+1 counters on it to that creature.
Virulent Murkdrivers channel ability and main ability don't match. Make first ability exile all cards or make Channel remove two.
Land and Artifacts
Automated Contrapation dearg trigger and channel don't match. When it dies it should put a CARD in your graveyard on top of your library so both recur self or another card.
Demonic Hellsword is awesome.
Could Uncontrolled obelisk activated ability refer to X in the cost? - I am also very wary of letting the Intesnify creature grow indefinitely.
Garded Passage can lose "and Gaurden Passage isuntapped". Makes it less wordy and make no practical different (if tapped animation useless).
Why is Anaba Ruins red. Why not give colourless mana so less tied to colour identity/strong. Already looks very powerful.