Going to be posted several cards based around the League of Legends champions as I get to them. The intent is have them be of rare or mythic quality and keep to the flavor of the champion's abilities or general motif while still being playable in a limited or constructed format, whether competitive or casual. Accepting any critique. Card names link to champion's wikia page for information about their lore background and abilities.
Heimerdinger, Revered Inventor 2UU
Legendary Creature - Yordle Artificer
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a colorless artifact token with fading 1 onto the battlefield. It has “T: Deal 1 damage to target creature.”
Whenever an artifact you control deals damage, you may draw a card.
1/3
Lulu, Fae Sorceress 2UU
Legendary Creature - Faerie Wizard 3U, T: Destroy target creature. It can’t be regenerated. Its controller reveals cards from the top of his or her library until he or she reveals a creature card. The player puts that card onto the battlefield, then shuffles all other cards revealed this way into his or her library.
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, target other creature you control gains absorb X until end of turn, where X is equal to half that creature’s converted mana cost, rounded up.
1/3
Vladimir, the Crimson Reaper 3BB
Legendary Creature - Vampire
Lifelink
Whenever another creature is dealt damage by Vladimir, the Crimson Reaper, put a +1/+1 counter on Vladimir. B, Pay 2 life: Vladimir deals 1 damage to target creature. If that creature dies this turn, that creature’s controller loses 2 life. Activate this ability only when you could cast a sorcery.
3/3
Miss Fortune, Bounty Hunter 3RR
Legendary Creature - Human Rogue
Whenever Miss Fortune, Bounty Hunter deals combat damage to a creature, you may deal X damage to another target creature, where X is half that much damage, rounded down. 4RR, T, Discard your hand: Miss Fortune deals X damage to target player and each creature he or she controls, where X is twice the highest converted mana cost among those cards.
Whenever a creature dealt damage by Miss Fortune dies, draw a card, then discard a card.
3/2
Vi, Piltover Enforcer 3GG
Legendary Creature - Human Soldier
Trample
Whenever Vi, Piltover Enforcer deals combat damage, put a +1/+1 counter on it. If you control Caitlyn, Sheriff of Piltover, put two +1/+1 counters on Vi instead.
Whenever Vi deals combat damage to a creature, until your next upkeep, prevent the next X damage that would be dealt to Vi, where X is half the amount of damage dealt.
3/3
Heimerdinger is most definitely broken, as blue is not supposed to be able to deal damage outside of normal creature combat.
for Lulu, 'another target creature you control' would be correct. Also, why put absorb or fading? Keywords only exist in a group, so these are out of place.
Miss Fortune is broken. her second ability either ins't very good or an insanely powerful. Too much power swing and an unacceptable power level in a deck optimised to use it.
You have a lot of 'damage dealt' 'deals damage' and counting half effects. Why? Your card designs are all quite text dense, with lots of effects stuck together in what are overall clunky designs. Keep things simple and even more importantly, natural, make each part of the card fit together in a way that makes the whole feel a little less complex than it actually is. Designing things to be natural will also make things more flavourful and more memorable.
Some interesting ideas here, but a lot more work would be needed to make these designs work properly.
Fading is used to represent the temporary ability summons certain champions have. Absorb is used to represent damage shields.
I'm definitely an offender of the "It's legendary, so it should do a ton of cool stuff" myth, hence all of the very bulky text. As for clunky, a lot of the times my abilities will be templates from other cards and then tweaked for what I need and the translation might not be the smoothest. I definitely appreciate the feedback though.
For Heimet, I've had a lot of trouble with him. I think it's because I've focused too much on his turret creation and not just played with the idea that he's an artificer. I really like the draw on damage triggered ability, but what do you think about instead of the token generating ability he's able to animate a noncreatures artifact until end of turn?
For Miss Fortune, I like using the idea that you can turn cards into ammunition. How does discarding a card and dealing damage to target creature equal to that card's converted mana cost sound?
With Lulu's absorb shield trigger, would it still be that same wording if I'm meaning "target creature other than Lulu"? I figure if I allow Lulu the ability to gain a damage shield, she could very well just become completely unkillable through damage.
I think they would read something like:
Heimerdinger, Revered Inventor 2UU
Legendary Creature - Yordle Artificer
Flash 2U: Target noncreature artifact you control becomes an artifact creature with base power and toughness each equal to its converted mana cost until your next upkeep.
Whenever an artifact you control deals damage, you may draw a card.
1/3
Lulu, Fae Sorceress 2UU
Legendary Creature - Faerie Wizard 3U, T: Destroy target creature. It can’t be regenerated. Its controller reveals cards from the top of his or her library until he or she reveals a creature card. The player puts that card onto the battlefield, then shuffles all other cards revealed this way into his or her library.
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, another creature you control other than Lulu gains absorb X until end of turn, where X is equal to that creature’s converted mana cost.
1/3
Miss Fortune, Bounty Hunter 3RR
Legendary Creature - Human Rogue
Whenever Miss Fortune, Bounty Hunter deals combat damage to a creature, you may deal X damage to another target creature, where X is half that much damage, rounded down. 1RR, T, Discard a card: Miss Fortune deals damage to target creature or player equal to the discarded card's converted mana cost.
Whenever a creature dealt damage by Miss Fortune dies, draw a card, then discard a card.
3/2
Editing with content
Taric, the Gem Knight 4WW
Legendary Creature - Human Knight
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a gem counter on Taric, the Gem Knight.
Taric gets +0/+1 for each gem counter on it. X3W, Remove any number of gem counters from Taric: X other target creatures get +1/+1 until end of turn for each gem counter removed this way.
3/4
Anivia, the Cryophoenix 2UU
Legendary Creature - Phoenix
Flying
When Anivia, the Cryophoenix enters the battlefield, tap each creature target opponent controls. Those creatures don’t untap during their controller’s next untap step.
When Anivia dies, put a 0/1 blue Egg creature token with defender onto the battlefield. It has “2UU, T, Sacrifice this creature: Return a card named Anivia, the Cryophoenix from your graveyard to the battlefield.”
3/3
Annie, the Dark Child 2RR
Legendary Creature - Human Wizard
Whenever you cast a red spell or Annie, the Dark Child attacks, you may deal 1 damage to target creature or player. 3RR, T: Put a legendary 6/6 red Bear creature token with haste and fading 2 named Tibbers onto the battlefield. It has “Whenever this creature blocks or becomes blocked by a creature, it deals 1 damage to that creature.”
3/2
Heimerdinger is much improved, only a few problems:
-why upkeep for the duration. Should probably be 'until your next turn' like with sorin in KTK
-'an artifact you control deals damage' is probably to easy to abuse. I'd say just combat damage, even just to players for colour matching and an excuse to increase his p/t
Miss Fortune seems fairer, but considering her first ability, it's probably better if you weaken her other abilities so that she can have a more efficient p/t. That or change it so she doesn't have to attack or block with such low stats.
Taric is way to slow and inefficient, perhaps:
Revised Taric
At the beginning of your endstep, put a gem counter on Taric
Taric gets +0/+1 for each gem counter on it
, remove any number of gem counters from Taric: X other target creatures get +1/+1 until end of turn for each gem counter removed this way.
5/5
Anivia should cost five for cost and abillity, compare to sleep.
Annie is the source of her first ability's damage and should be referenced as such (you may have Annie deal 1 damage to target... etc.)
Annie also has a lot going on. You should find some ways to simplify the card.
Heimerdinger, Revered Inventor
2UU
Legendary Creature - Yordle Artificer
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a colorless artifact token with fading 1 onto the battlefield. It has “T: Deal 1 damage to target creature.”
Whenever an artifact you control deals damage, you may draw a card.
1/3
Lulu, Fae Sorceress
2UU
Legendary Creature - Faerie Wizard
3U, T: Destroy target creature. It can’t be regenerated. Its controller reveals cards from the top of his or her library until he or she reveals a creature card. The player puts that card onto the battlefield, then shuffles all other cards revealed this way into his or her library.
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, target other creature you control gains absorb X until end of turn, where X is equal to half that creature’s converted mana cost, rounded up.
1/3
Vladimir, the Crimson Reaper
3BB
Legendary Creature - Vampire
Lifelink
Whenever another creature is dealt damage by Vladimir, the Crimson Reaper, put a +1/+1 counter on Vladimir.
B, Pay 2 life: Vladimir deals 1 damage to target creature. If that creature dies this turn, that creature’s controller loses 2 life. Activate this ability only when you could cast a sorcery.
3/3
Miss Fortune, Bounty Hunter
3RR
Legendary Creature - Human Rogue
Whenever Miss Fortune, Bounty Hunter deals combat damage to a creature, you may deal X damage to another target creature, where X is half that much damage, rounded down.
4RR, T, Discard your hand: Miss Fortune deals X damage to target player and each creature he or she controls, where X is twice the highest converted mana cost among those cards.
Whenever a creature dealt damage by Miss Fortune dies, draw a card, then discard a card.
3/2
Vi, Piltover Enforcer
3GG
Legendary Creature - Human Soldier
Trample
Whenever Vi, Piltover Enforcer deals combat damage, put a +1/+1 counter on it. If you control Caitlyn, Sheriff of Piltover, put two +1/+1 counters on Vi instead.
Whenever Vi deals combat damage to a creature, until your next upkeep, prevent the next X damage that would be dealt to Vi, where X is half the amount of damage dealt.
3/3
for Lulu, 'another target creature you control' would be correct. Also, why put absorb or fading? Keywords only exist in a group, so these are out of place.
Miss Fortune is broken. her second ability either ins't very good or an insanely powerful. Too much power swing and an unacceptable power level in a deck optimised to use it.
You have a lot of 'damage dealt' 'deals damage' and counting half effects. Why? Your card designs are all quite text dense, with lots of effects stuck together in what are overall clunky designs. Keep things simple and even more importantly, natural, make each part of the card fit together in a way that makes the whole feel a little less complex than it actually is. Designing things to be natural will also make things more flavourful and more memorable.
Some interesting ideas here, but a lot more work would be needed to make these designs work properly.
RUNIN: Norse mythology set (awaiting further playtesting)
FATE of ALARA: Multicolour factions (currently on hiatus)
Contibutor to the Pyrulea community set
I'm here to tell you that all your set mechanics are bad
#Defundthepolice
I'm definitely an offender of the "It's legendary, so it should do a ton of cool stuff" myth, hence all of the very bulky text. As for clunky, a lot of the times my abilities will be templates from other cards and then tweaked for what I need and the translation might not be the smoothest. I definitely appreciate the feedback though.
For Heimet, I've had a lot of trouble with him. I think it's because I've focused too much on his turret creation and not just played with the idea that he's an artificer. I really like the draw on damage triggered ability, but what do you think about instead of the token generating ability he's able to animate a noncreatures artifact until end of turn?
For Miss Fortune, I like using the idea that you can turn cards into ammunition. How does discarding a card and dealing damage to target creature equal to that card's converted mana cost sound?
With Lulu's absorb shield trigger, would it still be that same wording if I'm meaning "target creature other than Lulu"? I figure if I allow Lulu the ability to gain a damage shield, she could very well just become completely unkillable through damage.
I think they would read something like:
Heimerdinger, Revered Inventor
2UU
Legendary Creature - Yordle Artificer
Flash
2U: Target noncreature artifact you control becomes an artifact creature with base power and toughness each equal to its converted mana cost until your next upkeep.
Whenever an artifact you control deals damage, you may draw a card.
1/3
Lulu, Fae Sorceress
2UU
Legendary Creature - Faerie Wizard
3U, T: Destroy target creature. It can’t be regenerated. Its controller reveals cards from the top of his or her library until he or she reveals a creature card. The player puts that card onto the battlefield, then shuffles all other cards revealed this way into his or her library.
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, another creature you control other than Lulu gains absorb X until end of turn, where X is equal to that creature’s converted mana cost.
1/3
Miss Fortune, Bounty Hunter
3RR
Legendary Creature - Human Rogue
Whenever Miss Fortune, Bounty Hunter deals combat damage to a creature, you may deal X damage to another target creature, where X is half that much damage, rounded down.
1RR, T, Discard a card: Miss Fortune deals damage to target creature or player equal to the discarded card's converted mana cost.
Whenever a creature dealt damage by Miss Fortune dies, draw a card, then discard a card.
3/2
Editing with content
Taric, the Gem Knight
4WW
Legendary Creature - Human Knight
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a gem counter on Taric, the Gem Knight.
Taric gets +0/+1 for each gem counter on it.
X3W, Remove any number of gem counters from Taric: X other target creatures get +1/+1 until end of turn for each gem counter removed this way.
3/4
Anivia, the Cryophoenix
2UU
Legendary Creature - Phoenix
Flying
When Anivia, the Cryophoenix enters the battlefield, tap each creature target opponent controls. Those creatures don’t untap during their controller’s next untap step.
When Anivia dies, put a 0/1 blue Egg creature token with defender onto the battlefield. It has “2UU, T, Sacrifice this creature: Return a card named Anivia, the Cryophoenix from your graveyard to the battlefield.”
3/3
Annie, the Dark Child
2RR
Legendary Creature - Human Wizard
Whenever you cast a red spell or Annie, the Dark Child attacks, you may deal 1 damage to target creature or player.
3RR, T: Put a legendary 6/6 red Bear creature token with haste and fading 2 named Tibbers onto the battlefield. It has “Whenever this creature blocks or becomes blocked by a creature, it deals 1 damage to that creature.”
3/2
-why upkeep for the duration. Should probably be 'until your next turn' like with sorin in KTK
-'an artifact you control deals damage' is probably to easy to abuse. I'd say just combat damage, even just to players for colour matching and an excuse to increase his p/t
Miss Fortune seems fairer, but considering her first ability, it's probably better if you weaken her other abilities so that she can have a more efficient p/t. That or change it so she doesn't have to attack or block with such low stats.
Taric is way to slow and inefficient, perhaps:
Revised Taric
At the beginning of your endstep, put a gem counter on Taric
Taric gets +0/+1 for each gem counter on it
, remove any number of gem counters from Taric: X other target creatures get +1/+1 until end of turn for each gem counter removed this way.
5/5
Anivia should cost five for cost and abillity, compare to sleep.
Annie is the source of her first ability's damage and should be referenced as such (you may have Annie deal 1 damage to target... etc.)
Annie also has a lot going on. You should find some ways to simplify the card.
Thank you for reading my previous feedback.
RUNIN: Norse mythology set (awaiting further playtesting)
FATE of ALARA: Multicolour factions (currently on hiatus)
Contibutor to the Pyrulea community set
I'm here to tell you that all your set mechanics are bad
#Defundthepolice