MTG Salvation

Gerrard's Mom



After having one of the best days of the my life at the 2HG GRN prerelease, one little regret I have is not having played any Battlebond with the friend I did the GRN prerelease with. Well, the things in my life that led to me and him going to the GRN prerelease together hadn't yet happened when Battlebond came out. I sure hope one day another Battlebond set will come out and we get to play it. In the meantime, let's see what you have in mind for the second Battlebond set. The name tells me that the Valor's Reach stadium is going to get alive, and I have a hunch it will not be happy or kind with the contestants battling within it...

Mana Mirrors W
Artifact - Fortification (R)
Permanents your team controls have hexproof from all colors that fortified land could produce. (They can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control of that color or colors.)
Fortify 1W (1W: Attach to target land you control. Fortify only as a sorcery. This card enters the battlefield unattached and stays on the battlefield if the land leaves.)

Fortifications are a great flavorful fit for a set about Valor's Reach itself coming to life. I remember reading recently on Blogatog that, according to Maro, fortifications don't have a lot of design space and thus are not very likely to return. That makes them perfect material for custom designs. In this particular card, we have the "your team matters" mechanic, the "hexproof from" variant from Dominaria and the Fortification subtype all in one. Might it be a little too much for less experienced players? I don't know. At least, you certainly did the right choice making this a rare.

Quiet Interlude 1U
Instant (U)
Spellshare (2/U) (When you cast this spell, each other player may pay its spellshare cost. Copy this for each player that does.)
Creatures get -1/-0 until end of turn.
Each player who cast or shared this spell draws a card.

At first, I read spellshare as if they got the copy and I wondered why it worked on your opponents too, not just your teammate. Then I realized I was reading it wrong and they pay the spellshare cost but YOU get the copies for each player who does. Now I like it much better. I would say it wants to say "each teammate" to be a bit clearer and fit better in a Battlebond set, but being the way it is makes it relevant for politic alliances in free-for-all multiplayer formats, such as Commander. Giving a reward to players for sharing the spell is a nice incentive to make the mechanic happen more often, and I like that. My main remark on this card is that despite the fact that it uses simple effects, the end result is still quite complicated. I would personally like to see what the more simple cards with spellshare look like. What do the spellshare commons look like?

Tar Tanks 1B
Artifact - Fortification (R)
Fortified land has "T, Sacrifice this land: Destroy target creature that dealt damage to your team or a planeswalker your team controls this turn."
Fortify 2B (2B: Attach to target land you control. Fortify only as a sorcery. This card enters the battlefield unattached and stays on the battlefield if the land leaves.)

I like this more and less than the first fortification at the same time. More because there is less to process for your brain, less because it wants you to sacrifice lands which might lead you to mana screw yourself if you're not careful.

Guest Appearance 3RR
Sorcery (R)
Spellshare (2/R)(2/R) (When you cast this spell, each other player may pay its spellshare cost. Copy this for each player that does. You may choose new targets for the copies.)
Each player who cast or shared this spell may reveal any number of cards from their hand. You may put a creature card from among them onto the battlefield under your control. It gains haste and "At the beginning of your end step, return this creature to its owner's hand."

I was waiting for more simple spellshare cards, and here we have an even more complicated one, with a twist on dash. I am noticing now the detail of having "twobrid" mana for the spellshare cost, which was also in the blue spellshare card. That allows your teammate to help you by sharing the spell regardless of the colors they're playing, while still letting them get a discount if they have the right color of mana. A nice touch, but it adds even more to the complexity of the mechanic. Maybe the spellshare cost could be just generic mana? That way, you still allow them to help you while simplifying the card. I don't know, I'm just trying to offer more food for thought.

Roiling Ramparts 2G
Artifact - Fortification (R)
Fortified lands your team controls are 2/4 green Elemental creatures with vigilance.
When Roiling Ramparts becomes attached to a land, untap that land.
Fortify 1G (1G: Attach to target land you control. Fortify only as a sorcery. This card enters the battlefield unattached and stays on the battlefield if the land leaves.)

In my opinion, this would be the best fortification of the three if it only affected the land fortified by this and not all fortified lands, again mostly for complexity reasons. And again, a rules text that at least makes the card worthy of rare status. What I like the most about this card is the trigger. There are so many tricks you can do with it, and I'm not even a Johnny!

Overall, your submission is very splashy and it's the most original out of all four, that's for sure. Unfortunately, it might also be the most complicated. It's not by chance that you have no room for flavor text on any of your cards. Anyway, I certainly admire the boldness of taking the risk to create an original mechanic and use an existing one that's only ever been on a single card and that's unlikely to return for your submission. I probably wouldn't have done that regardless of the fact that I had a little time to work on my own submission. My instinct is always to keep it as safe as I can, here as well as in real life. I wish you those risks pay off (and apparently they already are).


Zemoo



So, Conspiracy meets Kamigawa. That would be a huge success with enfranchised players, that's for sure. A supplemental set is also the best chance we have to actually return to Kamigawa. I'm honestly neutral about that, I started playing towards the end of Kamigawa-Ravnica standard so I don't have a lot of memories associated with the Japanese plane, but I know a lot of people badly want a return to Kamigawa. Let's see how you chose to tackle it.
By the way, when I chose to use Conspiracy too, I actively tried to do so in a way that felt different from your sumbission, which you had already posted, and I think I managed to do that. To me our submissions do feel different enough. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that was something I did actively think about.

Internment Term XWW
Enchantment (R)
Internment Term enters the battlefield with X charge counters on it.
Creatures with power equal to the number of charge counters on Internment Term cannot attack.
2: Add or remove a charge counter from Internment Term. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery.
4: Add or remove a charge counter from Internment Term. Any player may activate this ability, but only any time they could cast a sorcery.

I had to adjust a lot of details on this, and I have doubts the end result fits in the card frame. *checks in MSE* Ten lines, we're at the limit. What the card is supposed to do is very clear at an intuitive level, and I like the "I want this many counters, you want a different number of counters" minigame this card implies. I just wish there were a simpler way to word this card. And no, I do not have any such way in mind right now.

Tei, Meishin's Architect 2UU
Legendary Creature - Moonfolk (M)
Flying
1U, T: Exile target creature attacking you or a planeswalker you control. Return it to the battlefield under the attacking player's control, attacking a player or planeswalker of your choice if able. Activate this ability only during the declare attacker's step on an opponent's turn. (A creature cannot attack its controller or a planeswalker owned by its controller.)
2/3

Again many details to adjust. Please be more careful with the possessive "its" vs. the verb "it's". I know it hurts me more than it should to see them switched, it's a pet peeve of mine, but I think part of presenting a card is writing it correctly. I try not to judge based on that in the CCL, but I just had to point this out this time. The card itself is certainly very original, and it blends together the flicker mechanic and attacker manipulation, both things that belong in blue's color pie but that I don't remember having ever seen together in real Magic. I have my doubts about "the attacking player's control" wording, but I have no real alternative to propose right now. I also don't like how complex these first two cards are.

Smoke Bomb B
Instant (C)
Attacking creatures get -3/-0 until end of turn.
Creatures you control get -1/-0 until end of turn.
Master's of espionage and assassination, the ninja avoided open combat. When there was no cover of night, they would create their own means of escape. Bidding time for their poisons and traps to take effect.

Finally a more simple card, with shorter rules text and room for some very nice piece of flavor text. I like that. Unfortunately, I also think this card is in the wrong color. It should be blue, that's where -N/-0 effects belong. If it were -0/-N than it would be black. It would also be a totally different card.

Dangerous Nursery Visit 3RR
Instant (R)
Create three 0/2 red Dragon Egg creature tokens named with defender and "Exile this creature at the end of combat. When this creature dies, create a 2/2 red Dragon creature token with flying and 'R: This creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn.'."

I like what the mechanics are trying to do. What I don't like on this card is the name (I can't see it being printed on a real Magic card) and the fact that the exile clause is part of the rules text of the Egg token rather than an effect of this spell, which is both the stardard way to word effects like this and, in my opinion, clearer.

Kami of the Village Gates 2G
Creature - Plant Spirit (U)
Defender
Whenever a creature you control without defender blocks, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature with defender you control.
0/3

Finally a card where I didn't have to adjust not even a single detail, at the contrary of all the other cards (including the black and red ones even if I didn't mention it there). I like this card just fine. It fits the defense theme of the challenge very well.

Overall, I like what these cards are trying to do, but I feel this submission too is rather complicated, even though not as much as the first one. I understand that the public vote of the CCL finals is essentially a popularity contest, so you want to go with splashy things, but I think you still have to keep an eye on elegance and complexity. You have to find the right balance point, and I know it's not easy. It's what I tried to do in my own submission, I don't know if I managed but at least that was my intention.


Hemlock



Not necessarily tied to the defense theme, and I also don't personally like Commander (yes, I know it could sound like blasphemy to someone but that's the way it is), but let's see what you have to offer. I put the cards in WUBRG order.

Loyal Hero 1W
Creature - Human Soldier (R)
Flash
First strike
Whenever you're dealt commander damage, put that many +1/+1 counters on Loyal Hero.
1/2

Finally a simple, short and very elegant card. I love that. Triggering on commander damage is also very original, they've never done that yet but it's something I think they might easily do in any future Commander product. Excellent work.

Resent the Past 2UUU
Enchantment (R)
Whenever a player casts a spell, counter that spell if a spell with the same name was cast this game.

I see potential memory issues, but luckily checking the graveyard and the exile zone should be enough. Again, I like very much the fact that this card consists of a single line of text. This card is reminiscent of a few other existing ones, but it's still different enough to feel like its own thing. I would have liked to see some flavor text here, and in the first card too. The room is certainly there. I hope to see some on the next cards.

Mirror of the Soul 2BB
Creature - Avatar (R)
Defender
Combat damage dealt to Mirror of the Soul by creatures also causes that creature's controller to be dealt damage. (Damage dealt by commanders counts as commander damage.)
1/8

The reminder text might be the answer to the question that immediately came to my mind as I read this card: why not just word it like Boros Reckoner and similar existing cards? It's true that technically it might not count as commander damage in that case, I would have to check that in the CR. This goes to show how much I play Commander (which is, again, zero). Anyway, what I can say is that this card is certainly very original and that, like the other ones, manages to do a lot with as few text as possible, and I really like that. I'm not sure this effect belongs in black if it does work like the Reckoner, it might be better suited for white.

Stubborness 1R
Enchantment (R)
If a spell or ability controlled by an opponent would cause a permanent you control to be returned to its owner's hand, that permanent remains on the battlefield instead.
If you would draw a card, you may choose to skip drawing that card.

I would have worded the first effect as "Permanents you control can't be returned to their owners' hands." I don't think there is any functional difference, and it's even shorter and clearer. It still works perfectly fine as is though, and it's yet one more way to make a very original ability without using too much text. The second ability puzzles me. Is there any situation where you would ever want NOT to draw a card, except to avoid getting milled out? There might be, maybe I'm just not thinking about it.

Aura Sphere 1G
Enchantment - Aura (U)
Enchant creature
Totem armor
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1.
You may cast Aura Sphere from your graveyard if it targets your commander.

Another very simple and elegant card that I could see printed in a Commander product for real. I just love such cards.

Overall - Ok, so in the end I did not see a single line of flavor text, despite there being a lot of room for it, thanks to the simplicity of these cards (except maybe for the red one, that looks more complex). That's the only negative thing I can really say about this submission. Mechanically, I like it very much. If I couldn't vote for myself, I think I would have definitely voted for you. The comparison between this and the other submissions shows just how much better a Magic card looks when it doesn't have a bunch of text but it simply does one thing and does it well. More is not always better, and this submission exemplifies that wonderfully.

As a final note for everyone who reads these critiques, please let me point out that I am comparing cards, not people. If I said something negative about your cards it doesn't mean I'm saying something negative about you. I do not know you personally, so I would never dare say something bad about you as a person. I always try to convey that in the tone I use when writing all my judgments and critiques both in the MCC and the CCL. That's very important to me. As the saying goes, always critique ideas, not people. Obviously, that applies to real life too by the way.