@Ruki - In response to your HM, the reason Twilight of the Idols costs more than Wrath of God is that, originally the card exiled all legendary *permanents* and was modeled more after Apocalypse. Still, even though it's now just legendary creatures and planeswalkers, it exiles rather than destroys, so I kept it at 5 mana.
I figured the fact it is a lot more narrow than something like Wrath of God is why it could cost less.
Yea, I veered back and forth on that. I can accept that it's a little feel bad for 5 mana given how specialized it is. But I think the other part of my reasoning is that, in Commander and in the legendary-heavy format it would be intended to be a part of in a set/block, it's potentially a super potent bomb, especially in its original version, I.E. "exile all legendary permanents and planeswalkers". But yea, if there's any reason it's overcosted, it's because I feared the original version was OP in a "legendary matters" format so I edited my post to change the card to just affect legendary creatures. It's possible I might have been better off leaving it as is.
Fiddle2U
Sorcery (R)
As an additional cost to cast Fiddle, return target artifact you control to your Deck.
Search your library for an artifact with a converted mana cost exactly 1 more or 1 less than the returned artifact and put it onto the Battlefield under your control. A little elbow grease, a touch of magic and even the oldest machine can shine again.
Love the concept here, but the wording is off. I think it should be....
As an additional cost to cast Fiddle, shuffle an artifact you control to your library.
Search your library for an artifact card with converted mana cost 1 plus or 1 minus that artifact's converted mana cost and put it onto the battlefield. Then shuffle your library.
I'm still not sure the second ability is right. It probably needs to say more than "that artifact's", but then it gets really messy. Also, maybe the additional cost could be "...put an artifact you control on top of your library." That would avoid the dreaded double shuffle, but still allow for the card to be shuffled away when Fiddle resolves.
Edit: Honestly, sacrificing an artifact as an additional cost would be the cleanest solution, but then the card just feels like a fixed Tinker.
Edit2: As long as I'm talking about card wording....
Barrier to Entry1UB
Enchantment (R)
As long as you control one or more creatures, opponents can't cast creature spells. 5: Destroy target creature. Any opponent may activate this ability.
I'm wondering what "Any opponent may activate this ability" means. Does it mean only an opponent may activate it, or does it mean any player?
(22 Total) - October 2014; December 2014; January 2015; April 2015; June 2015; August 2015; September 2015; November 2015; December 2015(T); January 2016; March 2016(T); April 2016; June 2016; October 2016; December 2016(T); February 2017; April 2017; December 2017; November 2018(T); January 2019; April 2019; June 2019
(8 Total) - May 2015; May 2016; June 2016; August 2016; October 2016; December 2016; October 2017; May 2019
(7 Total) - September 2015; October 2015; January 2016; March 2016; April 2016; July 2016(T); March 2019(T)
StonerofKruphix lives up to his name with the infamous double hold!
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(8 Total) - May 2015; May 2016; June 2016; August 2016; October 2016; December 2016; October 2017; May 2019
(7 Total) - September 2015; October 2015; January 2016; March 2016; April 2016; July 2016(T); March 2019(T)
@ Flatline: I might go with that wording, but yeah, I definitely don't want it to be sac, since I feel it harms the flavor (and to an extent balance becomes iffy) of the card and makes it feel a bit TOO close to Tinker.
Mention: BrainPo (I like it, but I fear it might be too powerful)
That fear is in the back of my head as well. Maybe if I simply adjusted the cost to 2 it'd be safe, though that technically makes it a rare that's one small step better than Wild Guess. I *so* wanted to make a new version of Ancestral Recall where discarding a card was enough to balance it out though.
Not sure if I worded my card right. Basically, it siphons the Wither's -1/-1 counters into +1/+1 counters for itself (IE deal 2 Wither damage, get 2 +1+1s).
Leechmonger1BBB
Creature - Horror (U)
Wither (This deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters.)
When Leechmonger places -1/-1 counters on a creature, place that many +1/+1 counters on Leechmonger.
3/3 One bog leech is a nuisance. A collection, a menace.
First, since Leechmonger is likely to trigger more than once you want "Whenever" rather than "When" - When is reserved for one-time events eg a creature dying. As for your major concern, creatures don't really put counters on objects; players put the counters there as the result of an effect. The simplest way to resolve that is to say "Whenever Leechmonger deals damage to a creature" since it has Wither anyway. It even keeps the same interaction with cards like Melira which might have interacted weirdly with wither. The last thing is that we "put" counters on objects, we don't "place" them (on American templated cards at least).
Whenever Leechmonger deals damage to a creature, put a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the damage dealt or something? I was afraid Wither would make that not work because it doesn't "deal" damage.
Whenever Leechmonger deals damage to a creature, put a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the damage dealt or something? I was afraid Wither would make that not work because it doesn't "deal" damage.
A creature with wither deals damage, they just deal it to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters. So yes, what you have above would work. Although it might be more like, "Whenever ~ deals damage to a creature, put that many +1/+1 counters on ~."
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If I were to post card critiques here, would it be in bad form to do so before those cards are locked in for the day? If I don't get to everyone I don't want people feeling like others got an unfair advantage or something.
I personally don't see an issue with it and welcome it, though I can sort of see your point on premature critique possibly altering people's perceptions and votes on the cards? Eh, I don't think it's a big deal.
Astral Manipulator1WU
Creature - Human Wizard (R)
Flash
When Astral Manipulator enters the battlefield, choose a zone: hand, library, or graveyard. Target player exiles all cards they own in the chosen zone until the beginning of the next end step.
2/2
Pre-edit Score:
Post-edit Score:
As-is this is not something you can print. On turn three, wait for your opponent's upkeep and cast Astral Manipulator, choosing library and your opponent. They exile their library "until the end step," then proceed to draw their card for the turn only to lose the game. Using "until the end step" instead of "until end of turn" means that you can do sneaky things with Time Stop effects and lock those cards away forever, which is probably not fun or fair. That said, the concept here is rather interesting and with some tweaks it could be a cool card. The smallest tweak would be to remove library from the list of options, making hand the defacto choice. I'm not sure the choice is really needed here. My final edits to this card would look like:
Astral Manipulator1WU
Creature - Human Wizard (R)
Flash
When Astral Manipulator enters the battlefield, target player exiles all cards in his or her hand and graveyard until end of turn.
2/2
Ever-Sleep Pasture2(G/W)
Enchantment (R) Nocturne - At the beginning of each upkeep, if no spells were cast last turn, put a 1/1 green Sheep enchantment creature token onto the battlefield. Then, if you control twenty-five or more Sheep creatures, you win the game.
Pre-edit Score:
Post-edit Score:
Nocturne is an interesting choice as a mechanic, and really makes it clear what this card is trying to evoke - Counting Sheep! It's curious that the Sheep are enchantment creatures - that coupled with the ability word makes me think this card is attached to Theros. The thing about this Nocturne mechanic is that it will be slow to turn on, since players generally have something to cast for the first several turns of the game, and one of the things designers often stress is that you don't want to design your players into a corner doing something they don't want to do. This works for Werewolves because of the impending sense of inevitability, but I don't think that's the mood Ever-Sleep Pasture wants to evoke. Mechanically I think your card is fine, but leaves something to be desired. 25 is such a high number that one sheep per turn would be really slow, and it isn't even pumping them out every turn. My first change would be to make the sheep come faster if you can count that high. Something like:
Ever-Sleep Fleece2(G/W)
Enchantment Creature - Sheep (R) Nocturne - At the beginning of each upkeep, if no spells were cast last turn, put a 1/1 green and white Sheep enchantment creature token onto the battlefield for each Sheep creature you control. Then if you control twenty-five or more Sheep creatures, you win the game.
0/5
Hide in the CanopyGW
Instant (U)
Choose one or both —
• Exile target creature you control, then return it to the battlefield under its owner’s control.
• Target creature you control gains hexproof until end of turn. “Where are you? You were here until a moment ago...”
Pre-edit Score:
Post-edit Score:
Modal spells are always fun; players love choices. The modes on this are remarkably similar in that both exist to protect your creatures from spells and abilities. My chief concern about this card is a weird rules interaction that a lot of casual/fnm players will get wrong a few times. If you target the same creature with both effects, the flicker will make the creature a new object not the original target for hexproof, and as such will still be vulnerable to follow-up effects later that turn. I think a very easy fix for that issue is to switch the order of the modal effects, which matches up with the mana ordering anyway.
Hide in the CanopyGW
Instant (U)
Choose one or both —
• Target creature you control gains hexproof until end of turn.
• Exile target creature you control, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control. “Where are you? You were here until a moment ago...”
The one thing that might be problematic or seen as an unfair advantage would be if I were to edit my card posthoc in response to your critique to improve my chances, but I'll abstain from doing that out of principle I guess? Here's my comments below though.
As-is this is not something you can print. On turn three, wait for your opponent's upkeep and cast Astral Manipulator, choosing library and your opponent. They exile their library "until the end step," then proceed to draw their card for the turn only to lose the game. Using "until the end step" instead of "until end of turn" means that you can do sneaky things with Time Stop effects and lock those cards away forever, which is probably not fun or fair. That said, the concept here is rather interesting and with some tweaks it could be a cool card. The smallest tweak would be to remove library from the list of options, making hand the defacto choice. I'm not sure the choice is really needed here. My final edits to this card would look like:
Thanks for the feedback. I had a nagging feeling about the library part but wasn't sure. The original idea that the card comes from is actually this more defensive effect in mono-white: "Choose a zone: hand, library, or graveyard. Exile all cards you own in the chosen zone until the beginning of the next end step". Which is sort of a specialized white counterspell against anything that targets your hand, library, or graveyard.
Then I saw Netn10 post this card on the 30th and I tried to adapt my card idea around using "target player" instead of yourself:
Confronting the LiesRW
Instant (Rare)
Target player exiles his or her hand until end of turn.
It seems like it's really the "exile library" thing that is the main problem.
I'm also a little confused about "until the beginning of the next end step" vs "until end of turn", as I had read some rules errata that said "until end of turn" was effectively replaced with "until the beginning of the next end step" henceforth. They can be interpreted to mean different things though. I may have been lead astray by what I read. The basic intention of my card is to stop your opponent from doing anything with cards in the chosen zone for a turn, while having the versatility of being able to be used for the defensive purpose instead as well. But I hadn't anticipated that "exile library until end of turn" on an opponent implied what you point out.
Astral Manipulator1WU
Creature - Human Wizard (R)
Flash
When Astral Manipulator enters the battlefield, target player exiles all cards in his or her hand and graveyard until end of turn.
2/2
I like your fix works and its a possible option, though it does somewhat go in a different direction than my intention, as I ideally like the versatility of being able to choose between the three zones and would want to find a way to save it. It looks like there's no practical way to keep the library part if it's going to effect opponents though. If I do want to keep the library part, I'd have to return it to its original defensive version:
Astral Manipulator1WW
Creature - Human Wizard (R)
Flash
When Astral Manipulator enters the battlefield, choose a zone: hand, library, or graveyard. Exile all cards you own in the chosen zone until the beginning of the next end step.
2/2
The flavor of the name and type doesn't work out with this version, I'd probably change it.
I'm also a little confused about "until the beginning of the next end step" vs "until end of turn", as I had read some rules errata that said "until end of turn" was effectively replaced with "until the beginning of the next end step" henceforth. They can be interpreted to mean different things though. I may have been lead astray by what I read. The basic intention of my card is to stop your opponent from doing anything with cards in the chosen zone for a turn, while having the versatility of being able to be used for the defensive purpose instead as well. But I hadn't anticipated that "exile library until end of turn" on an opponent implied what you point out.
It's been a while since I've read rules updates, so it's possible I'm working with outdated information, but considering how Wizards doesn't like to change functionality with errata I feel safe to explain the distinction.
There are several things that happen to end a turn. The first step of this is "the beginning of the end step" where effects can be triggered. Further along is "the cleanup step", which has "until end of turn" effects wear off, players discard down to their maximum hand size, damage unmarked from creatures, etc. Players don't typically get to interact with the cleanup step, so they do all their interacting during the beginning of the end step. Effects like Sundial of the Infinite that say "End the turn." make the game jump directly to cleanup. That means you'll miss the "beginning of the end step" triggers that would otherwise apply just before cleanup happens.
If I were to post card critiques here, would it be in bad form to do so before those cards are locked in for the day? If I don't get to everyone I don't want people feeling like others got an unfair advantage or something.
Hmmmm....While I certainly don't want to discourage friendly dialogue, it does seem a bit odd to critique cards before they are locked in. It would seem to give people that post their cards early in the day an unfair advantage, since they have the benefit of your sage advice. Even if you managed to crit all the cards before the the day's thread closes, it would feel like every card in the thread would be designed by ???? and Piar. Personally, I think I'm ok with it, but it does seem a little weird. Why not just wait until the voting stage? That said, it's not like it doesn't happen occasionally anyway (see the last few Ruki related posts), but it feels different when you are making suggestions about balance and/or flavor (which are somewhat subjective) instead of just templating/wording (which are generally more objective). Of course the DCC is a community driven contest, so my opinion holds no more weight than anybody else's. I'm curious to hear others' opinions.
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(22 Total) - October 2014; December 2014; January 2015; April 2015; June 2015; August 2015; September 2015; November 2015; December 2015(T); January 2016; March 2016(T); April 2016; June 2016; October 2016; December 2016(T); February 2017; April 2017; December 2017; November 2018(T); January 2019; April 2019; June 2019
(8 Total) - May 2015; May 2016; June 2016; August 2016; October 2016; December 2016; October 2017; May 2019
(7 Total) - September 2015; October 2015; January 2016; March 2016; April 2016; July 2016(T); March 2019(T)
On one hand, I'm feeling strongly motivated right now to write up critiques and I hope to do so for the majority of July. On the other, considering the level of feedback I'd like to give my gut says I should probably hold off until the next day. The more I think about it the more I convince myself it'll be best to post things during judgment. Sorry everyone who posts today, but you won't be getting crits til tomorrow!
On one hand, I'm feeling strongly motivated right now to write up critiques and I hope to do so for the majority of July. On the other, considering the level of feedback I'd like to give my gut says I should probably hold off until the next day. The more I think about it the more I convince myself it'll be best to post things during judgment. Sorry everyone who posts today, but you won't be getting crits til tomorrow!
That seems best. Now I'm sorry I don't plan to compete in July, I really enjoy me some card discussions. I often wish more of that went on in the DCC.
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(8 Total) - May 2015; May 2016; June 2016; August 2016; October 2016; December 2016; October 2017; May 2019
(7 Total) - September 2015; October 2015; January 2016; March 2016; April 2016; July 2016(T); March 2019(T)
Darn, I forgot an entry for Day one! Oh well, it's not too bad to miss one day, right?
When it comes to critique, I definitely don'y mind waiting a while for it, especially when it feels kinda sadly rare, so do what you feel is best Piar.
Darn, I forgot an entry for Day one! Oh well, it's not too bad to miss one day, right?
When it comes to critique, I definitely don'y mind waiting a while for it, especially when it feels kinda sadly rare, so do what you feel is best Piar.
And you're not competing this month Flatline?
If your intention is to try to win the month, I recommend against missing days, but if you're just in it for fun, it's certainly not a problem.
People love to hear feedback on their cards, so I'm all for Piar (or anyone else for that matter) posting daily crits. It is difficult to crit 10 or more cards a day though. I definitely didn't mean to discourage Piar from doing so in my earlier post, it just seems like it would best to post them after the cards are locked in. This is supposed to be a competition after all. But ultimately, with participation down across all contests, I encourage anything that would help to encourage people to continue to participate. I think it gets frustrating to people when their entries don't do as well as they had hoped, and they don't get any feedback as to why.
I like to take a month off from time to time, and the summer months are rather busy for me. Considering I'm going to need to post the thread in August, July looks like the only opportunity I'm gonna get to take a break this summer. I'll still be active in the other contests in July though, and I always keep an eye on the DCC discussion thread, so don't be surprised if I throw my 2 cents in on any card related discussions here.
BTW, good luck in July Ruki. You make some excellent cards, you just need to work on your templating a bit. I highly recommend looking at the link in bravelion's signature for help. I assume he still has a link to his card making tip sheet there. I can't remember what it is called, but it covers just about any templating type question a person would have.
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(8 Total) - May 2015; May 2016; June 2016; August 2016; October 2016; December 2016; October 2017; May 2019
(7 Total) - September 2015; October 2015; January 2016; March 2016; April 2016; July 2016(T); March 2019(T)
July 1 feedback is up! Indighost, let me know if you'd rather I post it in the Discussion thread. The daily threads gets more traffic and visibility, but if it messes with your process for thread creation I'd be happy to post here instead.
The feedback looks awesome Piar! If you're so motivated to post feedback of other's cards, why not volunteer to judge in July's MCC? It's been a challenge finding willing judges lately. A judge of your caliber would certainly be appreciated. No pressure of course.
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I figured the fact it is a lot more narrow than something like Wrath of God is why it could cost less.
As an additional cost to cast Fiddle, shuffle an artifact you control to your library.
Search your library for an artifact card with converted mana cost 1 plus or 1 minus that artifact's converted mana cost and put it onto the battlefield. Then shuffle your library.
I'm still not sure the second ability is right. It probably needs to say more than "that artifact's", but then it gets really messy. Also, maybe the additional cost could be "...put an artifact you control on top of your library." That would avoid the dreaded double shuffle, but still allow for the card to be shuffled away when Fiddle resolves.
Edit: Honestly, sacrificing an artifact as an additional cost would be the cleanest solution, but then the card just feels like a fixed Tinker.
Edit2: As long as I'm talking about card wording....
I'm wondering what "Any opponent may activate this ability" means. Does it mean only an opponent may activate it, or does it mean any player?
I swear I forget that text every time I make a card that gives you free stuff.
That fear is in the back of my head as well. Maybe if I simply adjusted the cost to 2 it'd be safe, though that technically makes it a rare that's one small step better than Wild Guess. I *so* wanted to make a new version of Ancestral Recall where discarding a card was enough to balance it out though.
Whenever Leechmonger deals damage to a creature, put a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the damage dealt or something? I was afraid Wither would make that not work because it doesn't "deal" damage.
Pre-edit Score:
Post-edit Score:
As-is this is not something you can print. On turn three, wait for your opponent's upkeep and cast Astral Manipulator, choosing library and your opponent. They exile their library "until the end step," then proceed to draw their card for the turn only to lose the game. Using "until the end step" instead of "until end of turn" means that you can do sneaky things with Time Stop effects and lock those cards away forever, which is probably not fun or fair. That said, the concept here is rather interesting and with some tweaks it could be a cool card. The smallest tweak would be to remove library from the list of options, making hand the defacto choice. I'm not sure the choice is really needed here. My final edits to this card would look like:
Astral Manipulator 1WU
Creature - Human Wizard (R)
Flash
When Astral Manipulator enters the battlefield, target player exiles all cards in his or her hand and graveyard until end of turn.
2/2
Pre-edit Score:
Post-edit Score:
Nocturne is an interesting choice as a mechanic, and really makes it clear what this card is trying to evoke - Counting Sheep! It's curious that the Sheep are enchantment creatures - that coupled with the ability word makes me think this card is attached to Theros. The thing about this Nocturne mechanic is that it will be slow to turn on, since players generally have something to cast for the first several turns of the game, and one of the things designers often stress is that you don't want to design your players into a corner doing something they don't want to do. This works for Werewolves because of the impending sense of inevitability, but I don't think that's the mood Ever-Sleep Pasture wants to evoke. Mechanically I think your card is fine, but leaves something to be desired. 25 is such a high number that one sheep per turn would be really slow, and it isn't even pumping them out every turn. My first change would be to make the sheep come faster if you can count that high. Something like:
Ever-Sleep Fleece 2(G/W)
Enchantment Creature - Sheep (R)
Nocturne - At the beginning of each upkeep, if no spells were cast last turn, put a 1/1 green and white Sheep enchantment creature token onto the battlefield for each Sheep creature you control. Then if you control twenty-five or more Sheep creatures, you win the game.
0/5
Pre-edit Score:
Post-edit Score:
Modal spells are always fun; players love choices. The modes on this are remarkably similar in that both exist to protect your creatures from spells and abilities. My chief concern about this card is a weird rules interaction that a lot of casual/fnm players will get wrong a few times. If you target the same creature with both effects, the flicker will make the creature a new object not the original target for hexproof, and as such will still be vulnerable to follow-up effects later that turn. I think a very easy fix for that issue is to switch the order of the modal effects, which matches up with the mana ordering anyway.
Hide in the Canopy GW
Instant (U)
Choose one or both —
• Target creature you control gains hexproof until end of turn.
• Exile target creature you control, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control.
“Where are you? You were here until a moment ago...”
Thanks for the feedback. I had a nagging feeling about the library part but wasn't sure. The original idea that the card comes from is actually this more defensive effect in mono-white: "Choose a zone: hand, library, or graveyard. Exile all cards you own in the chosen zone until the beginning of the next end step". Which is sort of a specialized white counterspell against anything that targets your hand, library, or graveyard.
Then I saw Netn10 post this card on the 30th and I tried to adapt my card idea around using "target player" instead of yourself:
It seems like it's really the "exile library" thing that is the main problem.
I'm also a little confused about "until the beginning of the next end step" vs "until end of turn", as I had read some rules errata that said "until end of turn" was effectively replaced with "until the beginning of the next end step" henceforth. They can be interpreted to mean different things though. I may have been lead astray by what I read. The basic intention of my card is to stop your opponent from doing anything with cards in the chosen zone for a turn, while having the versatility of being able to be used for the defensive purpose instead as well. But I hadn't anticipated that "exile library until end of turn" on an opponent implied what you point out.
I like your fix works and its a possible option, though it does somewhat go in a different direction than my intention, as I ideally like the versatility of being able to choose between the three zones and would want to find a way to save it. It looks like there's no practical way to keep the library part if it's going to effect opponents though. If I do want to keep the library part, I'd have to return it to its original defensive version:
Astral Manipulator 1WW
Creature - Human Wizard (R)
Flash
When Astral Manipulator enters the battlefield, choose a zone: hand, library, or graveyard. Exile all cards you own in the chosen zone until the beginning of the next end step.
2/2
The flavor of the name and type doesn't work out with this version, I'd probably change it.
There are several things that happen to end a turn. The first step of this is "the beginning of the end step" where effects can be triggered. Further along is "the cleanup step", which has "until end of turn" effects wear off, players discard down to their maximum hand size, damage unmarked from creatures, etc. Players don't typically get to interact with the cleanup step, so they do all their interacting during the beginning of the end step. Effects like Sundial of the Infinite that say "End the turn." make the game jump directly to cleanup. That means you'll miss the "beginning of the end step" triggers that would otherwise apply just before cleanup happens.
When it comes to critique, I definitely don'y mind waiting a while for it, especially when it feels kinda sadly rare, so do what you feel is best Piar.
And you're not competing this month Flatline?
People love to hear feedback on their cards, so I'm all for Piar (or anyone else for that matter) posting daily crits. It is difficult to crit 10 or more cards a day though. I definitely didn't mean to discourage Piar from doing so in my earlier post, it just seems like it would best to post them after the cards are locked in. This is supposed to be a competition after all.
I like to take a month off from time to time, and the summer months are rather busy for me. Considering I'm going to need to post the thread in August, July looks like the only opportunity I'm gonna get to take a break this summer. I'll still be active in the other contests in July though, and I always keep an eye on the DCC discussion thread, so don't be surprised if I throw my 2 cents in on any card related discussions here.
BTW, good luck in July Ruki. You make some excellent cards, you just need to work on your templating a bit. I highly recommend looking at the link in bravelion's signature for help. I assume he still has a link to his card making tip sheet there. I can't remember what it is called, but it covers just about any templating type question a person would have.